#1 to 10 Annoying Trends
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1. Logos, Logos, and More Logos.
It wasn't an issue before the late 90's, but this happens every time I start a newly made movie from the 21st century.
I'll press play and get the stupid FBI warning first. I have to wait for it to end, and I'm not allowed to fast-forward it.
Then, before the movie actually starts, I see a film company logo which takes an unusual while to finish. After it's over,
there's another one which takes a unusual while. Okay...it's finally over. Then, what do ya know? There's another. It's
when I begin to say, "Just start the damn fucking movie already." There's another. And another. Finally, it's over, and the
movie is about to commence. There have been times that I almost lost it and was ready to eject the DVD.
2. You've Been Warned by the FBI Again and Again and Again.
Yes, the famous FBI warning. It never fails to show up before every film is about to play. What sucks is:
I can't fast-forward through it. Now, let me ask you this: have you ever heard of anybody getting caught
and spending time in prison? Nah, I didn't think so.
3. They Failed Chemistry.
Chemistry is usually the hardest to achieve. There's no scientific method to assess it. You know there's chemistry when
you see it on screen. When there's none, the movie simply dies. Many times, the filmmakers want me to believe these
people are in love with each other when in fact I feel nothing at all.
4. Names That Don't Match Thespians.
Ever see a movie poster that has names at the top and you look down to see if they match the thespians and vice versa? Many
times, they don't. The more mismatches there are, the worse the poster looks. Here are some examples of what I mean:
5. The Decision to Stop Continuing What Worked.
A sequel has been made, and I look forward to it, but it's not the same at all. Sometimes, the lead star is abruptly replaced
like what happened for XXX: State of the Union, The Sum of All Fears, and Hannibal. This move worked only
once, I believe, when Harrison Ford replaced Alec Baldwin for the Jack Ryan franchise. It's very, very
rare there's a carryover to the sequel, but it can happen like how it did for The Godfather Part II, Rocky II,
and Lethal Weapon 2. Also, I hate it when some supporting characters don't come back or are simply recast such as
More American Graffiti and Major League II. The acting can be so way off that the characters aren't played the
correct way as it was the case for John Travolta in Staying Alive.
6. Endless Worse Sequels.
It's common in the horror genre. The first worked, and then, I hope for the same thing in the next part. But nope, it's bad.
When I thought that's it, they keep making another and then another and then another... for no reason but to make a shitload
of money. Think of Friday the 13th, The Exorcist, Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street,
Jaws, Hellraiser, and so on.
7. Overawarded to Death.
I used to think the Oscars was the gold standard, but that ended sometime during the late 90's. I don't pay attention to the others.
Lately, there's been a proliferation of worthless awards. Robert Mitchum made over 100 films, and he was very good in many
of them. The number of awards he received during his lifetime was 11, according to IMDb. Now, take a bad actor like Will Smith.
He's been nominated 186 times, winning 96, and these numbers will still rise. Some of them are ridiculous-sounding like
Blockbuster Entertainment Awards, Dallas-Fort Worth Film Critics Association Awards, Palm Springs International Film Festival,
TV Land Awards, Black Movie Awards, Georgia Film Critics Association (GAFCA), and Latino Entertainment Journalists Association
Film Awards. Who knows how many of these silly groups currently exist? I won't be surprised to learn if it's now at least 300.
8. Were They Really There?
I watch a Hitchcock movie. The characters seem like they're at the actual location. Then, all of a sudden, there's a
fake background while they are talking or doing something dramatic. It's something the director used to do a lot which is
called "rear projection effect," and I hate it. I prefer they do it for real and are actually over there. Instead,
it takes place on a sound stage in Hollywood. There's always a halo light around the person as compared to the background
even though CGI has completely eliminated the problem. Either way, it sometimes ruins the film a lot.
9. Animals Must Be Abused to Make an Important Film.
Accidental or not, animals have been abused and killed since the beginning of cinema. It's shown all the time:
horses tripped, birds shot, cockfights, and a water buffalo slaughtered. The list goes on and on.
Many times, it's hard to tell if they're abused or killed like what happened in The Wicker Man when various
farm animals were locked up in the monument before it's set on fire.
10. Tons of Bullets With Nary a Hit.
There's a shooting in the film. The bad guys are unloading thousands and thousands of bullets in the hopes of hitting the hero. Yet
their accuracy rate is astoundingly 0%. At the same time, the hero is shooting back and eventually gets them all, thus his perfect
marksmanship. How is that possible, especially when the bad guys are recruited because they're supposed to be the best of the best?
Okay, okay, the hero might get hit, but it's usually a graze on the arm or leg which happens at the end of the film.