On A List of Movie Reviews

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All the Pretty Horses (2000)

Rate: 3
Viewed: 7/04, 9/13

Allph
9/13: I think the average American will automatically assume nothing good happens in Mexico, yet they persist going there in the hopes of striking plutonium.

So, that's what happened in All the Shitty Horses. Three wannabe actors fake themselves by playing cowboys who travel from Texas to Mexico. Trouble happens over there which eliminates one of them. The remaining two find work, and an ugly woman with no acting talent appears.

The fake cowboy star falls in love with her despite their nonexistent chemistry but ends up in prison with his phony cowboy buddy. Both are stabbed to death yet are miraculously alive afterwards.

They're, all of a sudden, freed from prison. Somewhere along the way, the loverboy is shot in the leg, applies a Rambo treatment onto himself (which is the funniest scene of the film), and eventually survives the incident. He finally goes back to Texas, sees his phony cowboy buddy again despite resolving nothing whatsoever, and says, "Hey, we had a good time in Mexico, didn't we?"

All in all, All the Shitty Horses...yep, that'll be the day.