On B List of Movie Reviews

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Batman Forever (1995)

Rate: 1
Viewed: 8/03, 6/08

Batman3
6/08: The title of this picture should be Batman Sucks Forever.

There are many changes such as the actor for Batman, the actress for Batman's love interest, Robin, the villains, and the director. Yet the only constant is that it's a dreadful bore.

Surprisingly, Val Kilmer receives more screen time and material than Michael Keaton ever did in the first two films. Unfortunately, he's terrible, boring, and lifeless. In fact, I've had a hard time seeing him as Batman because Val Kilmer is still the same fat lazy bum from The Island of Dr. Moreau.

For the third straight time, Batman feels the need (Jeez, this is Val Kilmer...Nicole Kidman...Tom Cruise...Top Gun...I got to stop with the connections) to give away his identity. For the third straight time, Batman/Bruce Wayne finds another female while on the prowl and decides to be mysterious with her. And for the third straight time, the impossible-to-comprehend plot is predictable; in fact, nothing happens.

One slight improvement over the previous part is the reduction of sexual references and innuendos which begins with "Master Dick" and ends with "sexual fantasies." Is it just me, or do I see nipples on Batman's suit? Then, Joel Schumacher goes further to show me the butt shape of his suit. The amount of violence looks somewhat toned down. Elsewhere, it's weird to see many Batman logos everywhere. The Batmobile is retarded. In terms of the atmosphere and lighting, there are lots of lights, especially in neon.

Chris O'Donnell is useless, and Nicole Kidman proves why she's one of the worst and most overrated actresses in Hollywood. Tommy Lee Jones is unremarkably plain as Two-Face Harvey. If his role was played by Billy Dee Williams in the original and he's black, then how come Two-Face Harvey is white? Jim Carrey overacts and goes over the top in the hopes of topping the incomparable Joker played by Jack Nicholson. It's just not working for me.

All in all, Michael Keaton made a wise decision by not coming back for Batman Sucks Forever.