On B List of Movie Reviews

(For optimum viewing, adjust the zoom level of your browser to 125%.)



Blood Simple (1984)

Rate: 2
Viewed: 7/08

BloodSimple
7/08: I was almost ready to give Blood Simple a rating of '1', but a couple of things stopped me from doing so.

One, the cinematography is nicely done which gives the atmosphere a neo-noir feel. Two, there are plenty of Hitchcockian techniques that are fun to experience.

Now, why do I hate the movie? It's the pace that feels like one foot per hour. I got frustrated several times to the point of yelling, "Come on, get the fuck moving!"

The performances are terrible and crappy. If I ever see Frances McDormand's face one more time, I'm going to punch her front teeth in. I can already hear her Fargo-like reaction, "Oh, how awful!" Dan Hedaya is Dan Hedaya. Michael Walsh is fine; I have no qualms with him whatsoever.

But it's John Getz whom I hate the most. He's one of the few reasons why the film slowed down a lot. He could've won some contests as the most boring human being alive. I'm not surprised to see the rest of his résumé post-Blood Simple which consists of mostly bland films and TV shows. John Getz is dull, period.

Although there's a twist that looks dumb at first and then begins to make sense later, it's still a stupid picture. First of all, there's almost nobody around. People can't be this dumb. Plus, the bar would've stayed open to accommodate the usual barflies. The others would've known about Marty's death and called the police. Instead, the town is totally abandoned, and the only residents are the principal characters. In the meantime, why bury the body in a field at some farm nearby which is so close to the house?

All in all, Blood Simple proves why slow pace is the death of any film.