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Children of the Corn III:
Urban Harvest (1995)

Rate: 1
Viewed: 7/12

ChCo3
7/12: The formula is in.

I repeat, the formula is in for Children of the Corny III: Urban Harvest. Find an annoying young boy and designate him as the cult leader. Make sure there are a lot of cornstalks around. Let the children follow the leader while he spews out some of the most ridiculous religious lines ever. Finally, the plan goes up in flames by the time the leader is ready to cross the Rubicon for the glory of it all. Of course...nothing bad ever happens.

It goes overboard with the awful-looking special effects. Daniel Cerny, who plays Eli, gets the lion's share of the blame for being annoying and therefore has my vote as the most riduculous leader thus far. The last ten minutes is enough to seal its fate as one of the worst pictures made.

Notice Eli planting some seeds in the middle of an abandoned factory. Then, it's magically transformed into a 4' by 20' plot of cornstalks. Every time somebody walks into the middle of it, it's like being in an Iowan cornfield. Also, notice the plastic Barbie doll that's lifted by a space mutant (whatever it is called). Some have alluded to it as Mr. Potato Head. By the way, no corn is ever half-peeled. It's either fully peeled or not, but there's no middle, period. Two brothers are taken for Amish, yet they're anything but lame sons of a farmer. There's a big difference, okay?

All in all, I'm reluctantly going ahead with the fourth part.