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Commando (1985)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 10/03, 7/17, 3/23

Commando
7/17: Oh, boy!

It's time for some mindless violence. Commando provides an endless supply of it. Sure, there's a story and some character development. But really...what the movie is all about is Arnold Schwarzenegger taking off his shirt and kicking some serious ass.

Hey, say...didn't Sylvester Stallone do this already as John Rambo? Mark L. Lester, the director, said, "It's the granddaddy of action films as we know them today." Uh...no. That would be Rambo: First Blood Part II. Even I have a hard time separating between John Matrix and Predator's Dutch. But let's be fair: Commando came first before Predator although it's easy to think it was the other way around. Now, forget logic; it isn't important.

Yes, John Matrix jumps more than 500 feet in the air from a commercial jet aircraft with a takeoff speed that's roughly 200 MPH and never breaks a bone or looks wet after landing on the three-foot-deep marsh.

Yes, there are dummies being blown up everywhere.

Yes, it's the stunt double doing some of the work for Arnold.

Yes, Arnold can't possibly carry the tree log, which turned out to be balsa wood, on his shoulder with ease.

Yes, Vernon Wells can't possibly match up with Arnold. Just check out their muscles; there's no comparison.

Yes, Sully doesn't look like a Green Beret.

Yes, ripping the seat out of a car serves no purpose.

Yes, crashing the car against a telephone pole will force Rae Dawn Chong to leap out before smashing her head.

Yes, John Matrix can't possibly break a steel chain apart and ride down while holding on to weak balloons.

Yes, soldiers don't perform somersaults when grenades are thrown near them.

Yes, it's not possible to have an infinite supply of ammo.

Yes, the Chevrolet Blazer Cheyenne is going to flip over, even by the slightest tilt.

Yes, the grenades, when pinned to the vest, can be accidentally pulled, killing the person himself.

Yes, what self-respecting gun store sells military weapons such as rocket launchers and grenades?

Yes, alarms will be sounded whenever there's an intruder lurking inside the cargo area of an airplane.

Arnold Schwarzenegger may look huge in the film, but he's actually thin when compared to his bodybuilding heyday. He lost a lot of volume, especially in his chest and legs which looked pencil-thin, hence the need for constant cover-up. By the way, I didn't realize that Vernon Wells (Bennett) played Wez in The Road Warrior. Then again, he had a mask on.

All in all, Commando is a fast, easy watch that should be enjoyed without nitpicking.

3/23: Yep, Commando is as mindless as it gets.

So many impossible things that John Matrix is capable of: carrying the giant 1,000+ pound log on his shoulder, landing safely on a shallow marsh from 500 feet in the air, breaking a steel chain apart with his bare hands, surviving plenty of dangerous driving stunts with no seat belt on, and mowing down hundreds of baddies in sight with nary a bullet on his own body.

Regardless, it's a fast, fun action flick that seems to have been made after Predator but came first in the chronological order. Also, there's no denying Arnold Schwarzenegger's star power which is alone enough to sell the show.

All in all, just turn off your brain and enjoy Commando.