On C List of Movie Reviews

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Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Rate: 8
Viewed: 10/07, 11/25

10/07: Conan the Barbarian is the kind of film that's for silly people who believe Vikings wore horned helmets for real.

There had been times when I thought it was shaping into a pornographic picture. The lines are crap, the storyline feels like it was taken from a children's book, and the action is at best minimal. Also, there's a lot of walking around by the characters with nothing to do.

The acting is mostly fair. Arnold Schwarzenegger fits the bill as Conan, a Hercules-looking musclehead, but he says little. I like the re-enactment of the olden times, most especially the primitive warlike tribes. The costumes are nicely designed, and the background setting isn't shabby, either.

All in all, Conan the Barbarian is like looking at a dot and not thinking much of it but accepting it as a dot.

11/25: Oh, all right...my opinion of Conan the Barbarian has changed.

The thing is that there's not a lot of dialogue which makes for a slow film. But it has plenty to offer to reach for that primitive effect: paganism, sorcery, medieval weapons, serpents, unusual-looking characters, muscles, and human sacrifice. Points are scored for cinematography, elaborate set pieces, and no special effects in regard to the giant snake.

All in all, before Arnold Schwarzenegger became famous as the Terminator, he was Conan.

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