On D List of Movie Reviews

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Desperately Seeking Susan (1985)

Rate: 3
Viewed: 8/20

SeekSusan
8/20: Desperately Seeking Susan has a reputation, but after seeing the film, I'm afraid it's been unwarranted.

I was alive and conscious during most of the 80's, but Madonna held no appeal for me. Desperately Seeking Susan may have ran a lot on HBO back then, but this is my first time seeing the film after all these years which should tell you a lot about how much I don't care for her.

The plot is thin and dumb that was probably written by an airhead. Unsurprisingly, Leora Barish's next credit came in 2006 for Basic Instinct 2, and there's been nothing else in between besides a throwaway direct-to-video picture.

Audrey Hepburn was cute in Roman Holiday. Debra Winger was classy in An Officer and a Gentleman. Julia Roberts was timeless in Pretty Woman. But Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan? Uh, no. Failing to be charming for one minute, she's sexless and has dated fashion sense.

The rest of the cast is filled with A-list names, but unfortunately, they're stuck with D material and do their best anyway. Comedy isn't Rosanna Arquette's forte, and her "fish out of the water" character isn't believable. Like John Turturro, Aidan Quinn is at the nascent point of his career while Will Patton looks stupid along with the bad dye job.

All in all, having seen most of Madonna's films, I can now confirm she has zero acting talent.