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Dickie Roberts:
Former Child Star (2003)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/07
7/07:
Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star is one of the shallowest and most disgusting pictures I've seen.
I don't know why people like David Spade when I think of him as one of the most despicable
actors alive. Watching him play an arrogant son of a bitch in the movie is unbearable.
I'm reading the list of has-been stars. They used to be famous in something a long time ago and have now reached the bottom
of the toilet by making an appearance in this crapfest. Alyssa Milano looks anorexic and is literally ready to be shrunken by the screen.
On the other hand, Corey Feldman, an arrogant son of a bitch, has finally been reduced to a joke.
There's no story going on and is rather infested with bad messages and unintelligent lines. So, Dickie, who's presumably 35 years old,
decides to advertise by offering twenty grand to any family who's willing to adopt and treat him like a kid. A family of
a mother and two boys decides to take a gamble on the deal. I understand money, but still...why?
Dickie teaches kids profanity, nearly entices them to drink alcohol, and says things like "I want to bang your mother" or
"I bet your mom is hot in bed." The sick, perverted ending has come to this: he marries the mother after she's predictably
granted a divorce. That's just great stuff. You know, if Dickie Roberts wore those gloves for over ten years, then his
hands should be infinitely white. Boy, has cheerleading changed so much over the years or what? The girl, who's
eight years old, gives an audition for a stripper job. By the way, is the poker scene of washed-up child
stars a rip-off of Sunset Boulevard?
All in all, Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star has earned a big fat '1' from me.