On D List of Movie Reviews
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Die unendliche Geschichte (1984)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/07
8/07:
Die unendliche Geschichte is German for The NeverEnding Story which is a perfect title because the movie never
seems to end.
In fact, it's a goddamn bore. The NeverEnding Story might be good for children, but there are two Sphinx monuments with
nipples. So, probably not. Is it just me, or does everybody talk very slowly? Now, what's the plot, if you ask me? It's to
find a new name for the empress. That's it...this is the whole movie. My goodness. Why couldn't they
do that in five minutes and be done with it?
The only positive aspect is the special effects although it isn't that great. I can't believe a boy like
Bastian can read a thick book with such small printing. As for the pace, it's so slow that a snail can
win a 10-meter race. Many characters, who are ugly as sin, are introduced only to be dropped later.
I was confused for the longest time whether the first kid was the same person as the second kid until I saw their teeth
up-close before determining they weren't. It distracted me from paying attention to the movie. Every time
there's supposed to be an adventure for the boy number two, it never feels like it. In fact, nothing ever happens. A good
illustration of what I'm talking about is the battle with the wolf which will be all over in a matter of seconds.
I like the message it sends out: if the bullies give you a hard time, you hit back. I'm sure the kids will take that
to heart. It's how school shootings begin. By the way, I never saw The NeverEnding Story before, and it looks like
Wolfgang Petersen had lost the touch, especially when I think back to Das Boot. His résumé isn't impressive anyway:
In the Line of Fire,
Outbreak, Air Force One,
The Perfect Storm, Troy, and Poseidon.
His career may be over at this point.
All in all, The NeverEnding Nothing is more like it.