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Draft Day (2014)

Rate: 4
Viewed: 11/14

DraftD
11/14: Draft Day is so horrible that I can't believe the Cleveland Browns gave the okay for their participation.

Kevin Costner's character is banging an exec (who happens to be carrying his child), facing the possibility of an abortion, destroying stuff to make a statement, belittling his temp secretary, meeting with his whore in the closet to have their powwows, and racking his brains whether or not the future selection has friends.

What I hate is the decisions that are being made in a vacuum of one person. It's unrealistic. Decisions, decisions, decisions...then he gotta pull the fucking trigger to win the day for Cleveland. Three first round picks for one player? And then three second round picks for a first round pick? What? What? This must be fantasy football or something. The RGIII trade may never happen again which had disastrous results for the Washington Redskins.

The way Kevin Costner's character makes his decisions and finds out information on the day of the draft is ridiculous. I guess all picks after the first round are meaningless. By the way, who drafts a running back this high these days? Sheesh. They've been useless when it comes to winning Super Bowls, and they almost always break down within five years. Pop quiz: name the last time a rushing yard leader won a Super Bowl, and how often? I think it's been done by two players: Emmitt Smith and Terrell Davis with a grand total of four wins. It's rare that a 1,000+ yard rusher is part of the Super Bowl winning team, too.

The reality is: drafts are a crapshoot. It's not rocket science, but the probabilities can be measured in terms of whether the pick will work out or not that's based on a system of various measurables. However, it's a fallacy that one player will save the franchise. It never happens, and it's something that most fans and members of the media can't or refuse to recognize. Being a Draft Day winner isn't the same as winning the Super Bowl. You have to be an idiot to think that way. Then again, most football fans have low IQ.

But a bust can kill a franchise, setting it back for years. Just ask the Cleveland Browns and Detroit Lions. The most comical part after the draft is over is nobody remembers who were selected and in what order, let alone where they were projected in one million different mock drafts. Football is a team sport. Plus, injuries can change everything, especially in the quarterback position. As a matter of fact, look at the past draft history of first round picks, and you'll notice many of their careers didn't pan out as expected.

Meanwhile, it's been a long time since I've seen the thespians involved with Draft Day because I don't follow recent movies anymore. Denis Leary's face is now full of Botox and plastic surgeries. Kevin Costner looks paunchy. Jennifer Garner resembles a transvestite. Rosanna Arquette has been reduced to nothing. Taking the honors for the worst of them all, Ellen Burstyn, who has a nice-looking white hair when in front of the camera, turns around to reveal the color of Cheetos for the rest of her hair.

For a bit while there, I had a sneaking suspicion that it's Arian Foster, and yep, it is. Only the mole on his cheek gives him away. If anything, I like the split screen technique where one person crosses over to the other side; it's cool to see.

All in all, Draft Day makes everybody, the NFL and fans alike, look bad.