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Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 8/04, 6/06, 11/14

Fri13p4
6/06: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is an okay entry for the franchise, showing improvement over the previous three pictures with lots of better death scenes.

River's Edge's Crispin Glover has a big part, but his performance sucks like the rest of the others. In the previous film, Jason got knifed pretty deep in the shoulder blade and also in the kneecap, but in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, he's perfectly new like as if nothing happened. I wonder at what point does he become a robot instead of a human being.

If the franchise began with the second part which took place on Friday the 13th and continued to the next day which is Saturday the 14th, then the third part picked it up on Sunday the 15th. So, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter went from there and ended on Tuesday the 17th. Hence, why is the movie still called Friday the 13th?

All in all, logic means nothing to Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter or any of the other parts.

11/14: Kill them all.

They are nothing but mothers, fornicators, hitchhikers, alcoholics, gang members, boobs, camp counselors, virgins, people with disabilities, fatsos, models, college students, sluts, horror mask makers, nymphomaniac campers, voyeurs, crazies, potheads, sluts, townfolks, and musicians. Slash, dice, and kill them all. What the fuck do I care? Quick! Predict the plot for the third sequel. If you guessed it right within ten seconds, you've just won the prize! Johnny! What's the prize for him? Jason gets to stab you in the belly with a pitchfork!

However, as formulaic as it gets, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter might be the best picture of the franchise because it has a bit of edge, is scary at times, and gets the terrifying atmosphere down pat. Jason is at his lethal best and is frightening to look at. But the same can't be said for the victims as they're too pathetic, hopeless, and stupid to survive. After four days and three nights of senseless mass murders around the area, it's comical how everybody is unaffected by it all. Yeah, life is the same as before. Anyway, fuck them and let them die.

Corey Feldman is the second biggest star of the franchise next to Kevin Bacon, but it's a strange curio that Crispin Glover is part of this, too, because he was a good actor during the 80's, giving the best performance of his career in River's Edge. Although Crispin Glover is embarrassing in this, he gets to shag a total babe. Anyway, my favorite line from one of the characters is, "Help!! He's killing me!! He's killing me!!" Well, do something about it, fuckso.

All in all, here's a sign that the filmmakers didn't care about the franchise when they got the hockey mask, as seen in the movie poster, wrong as the axe chop actually landed on the left, not right, side of Jason's head.