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Harley Davidson
and the Marlboro Man (1991)

Rate: 3
Viewed: 6/07

HarleyMarl
6/07: Once upon a time, there was a movie called, and please don't laugh, Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man.

Granted, it's a 100% cult movie that fails in nearly everything from chemistry to plot. However, the opening intro is cut to perfection: Mickey Rourke, flashing neon lights, dark motel room, picture of him and some girl, fireworks, naked woman on the bed, silver necklace, white t-shirt put on before the black leather jacket, the motorcycle with sinister-looking playing cards, and Harley Davidson is ready to roll for a long trip.

After that, it's been downhill. Honestly, Mickey Rourke isn't bad, but it's Don Johnson who stinks. Every time the Marlboro Man got together with Harley, he would be depressed, say things that sound cliché or pointless, and proceed to suck the energy out of their relationship.

There are a lot of leaps in logic throughout, and it'll be laborious for me to list them all. But the jump from the forty-story-tall building into a small pool on ground level has to take the cake. Not only that, but it's also not inconceivable they'll land somewhere away from the pool. As Butch Cassidy warned the Sundance Kid, the fall would kill them.

I find it strange the movie takes place in the future. Nothing seems uh...futuristic. On the other hand, it would've been a lot cooler if Don Johnson was replaced with Steve McQueen in his heyday with the plot cleaned up a bit, and ergo the title: The Motorcycle Boy and the Cooler King.

Right now, I'm looking at the front cover of the DVD case, and it shows Mickey Rourke's face which painfully says, "I must be out of my fucking mind." He would later admit to selling out to make the film. On the back, it promises "hotly staged bike chases," "state-of-the-art weaponry," and "excellent explosions." I think there were only one bike chase, many ordinary weapons, and a mundane explosion.

All in all, Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man is a colossal disaster.