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Invasion U.S.A. (1985)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
The Don't Fuck With Chuck series continues, and this time, it's Invasion U.S.A. which is one
of the most brain-dead action films I've seen.
It goes without saying the thespians were at the nadir of their careers when they agreed to do this.
When I saw the number of men coming out from the boats, I laughed and was like, "Are you fucking serious?" Does
the movie expect me to believe a good thousand of men can conquer the United States of America whose population
was two hundred something million during the middle 80's?
Anyway, it's safe to say Invasion U.S.A. is more like Invasion Miami, Florida. I'm not sure if
Chuck Norris qualifies as an "actor." Robot is more like it. Everything about Chuck—the way he moves, the way he walks,
the way he talks, and the way he fights—is monotonously mechanical. Steven Seagal has, if it's only an ounce, more
personality than him. At times, I wonder if Chuck Norris blinks.
If Rostov (is he wearing an eyeliner?) is worried about Matt Hunter, then I'll say there may be more than a
thousand of them in the U.S. Either way, he's screwed. It's hard to believe how Hunter can be in the right place
at the right moment nearly every time something happens. Hunter's line "It's time to die" has me wishing it was directed
toward him. Oddly, given the fact that Chuck Norris is a Christian, he wrote this junk.
Regardless, although the film is advertised as a bonanza of fireworks when it comes to action, I'm not shown much.
When Hunter's house was blown up in the swamps, I'm disappointed to see Hunter not taking the pet armadillo with him.
What kind of message is that? To Christians, I guess animals aren't important. Didn't Chuck read the story of Noah's Ark?
The scene of the guy with glasses holding a lady close to the truck while he's driving, won't his arm be tired after
a while? And perhaps if he lets her go, his driving will improve considerably? Another scene that has me puzzled is when
Hunter went through the street that's full of pimps, hookers, and lowlifes. They throw stuff at his truck while shouting
expletives at him. How did they know it's him? Is there supposed to be a subliminal Christian message at that moment?
At the end, when the bad guys are surrounded by the army, I'm surprised to see how many of them survived the
initial fire. If something like that happens in real life, it should be an instant slaughter within a minute. Again,
I have to make a comment in regard to the ending. What was that? Hunter kills Rostov. Cut, the end, and that's it. Awful.
The overpowering feeling I got from it is: I mean nothing.
All in all, to sum up Invasion U.S.A., one guy said, "The clerk at the video store looked at me like I was
an idiot when he saw what I was renting."