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Let's Scare Jessica to Death (1971)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/20
5/20:
The title is incorrect as it should be Let's Bore Everybody to Death.
Nothing much happens. There's a weak scare here and there. The rest of the time, characters are being themselves while
failing to realize the hippie movement had already ended. At one point, they throw in a corny but redundant séance.
Despite the running length of 88 minutes, the pace is slow, forcing me to take long breaks. The cast is average,
having nothing to work with. Zohra Lampert (the movie poster misspells her first name) is weird by overacting
and grinning many times (perhaps it's a sign of mental illness?).
How can they be stupid? When I saw the old picture, I knew immediately that it was the same girl who scared everybody when
they first moved into the house. Yet it took Jessica a good while to figure this out. The last ten minutes is basically
a remake of Carnival of Souls with some random vampirism thrown in.
Since I'm in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, Woody put on something that I can use right now: a respirator mask. Does
the fool know that pesticide causes cancer? When Woody came into the house and decided to have his fun with Emily, he didn't
bother to shower so he could wash everything off. Pretty gross. He even thought she's beautiful, and I was like, "Um...no."
Built in 1875 with a latter addition of an elaborate tower, the Piontkowski House still stands in Old Saybrook, Connecticut. No one
lives there anymore as it continues to be neglected and boarded up. The house can be had for a cool $5.8 million along with the
124 acres, but it's more likely to face the wrecking ball. By the way, that's not a mole but a field mouse;
the difference is that the former has an elongated nose. Then again, these characters are stupid.
All in all, you're better off watching
Burnt Offerings over Let's Bore Everybody to Death.