On M List of Movie Reviews
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Major Payne (1995)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/15
2/15:
Major Payne is In Living Color meets An Officer and a Gentleman but with kids.
There's a heavy emphasis on the crude stuff which sours the show, rendering it "not funny." Apropos, I get the joke
about his last name, but it's not amusing. Of the faculty at the military school, there's only one teacher who happens to
be a pretty-looking black female. And what exactly, I pray thee, does she see in Major Payne?
He, with his stupid gold teeth, is mentally disturbed and in serious need of being locked away from society due to his
sanguinary war tales which aren't cool to listen to. That's why his dream with a white picket fence by the railroad tracks
didn't sound like him because he would've preferred to use a handgun to blow out Charlie's brains in front of his family.
Most of the child actors are tolerable, but it's Steve Martini, as Cadet Alex Stone, who looks too old for the part while
chewing up a lot of screen time. Michael Ironside has to deign to making a cameo for such a dreck film, so he
can have Alex feeling the back of his hand.
Clearly, there's a lot of child abuse going on in and out of JROTC. Madison Preparatory School's military march for the
final competition is not military enough as it's out of sync. Hence, it shouldn't have won the trophy unless the other
school's march was worse.
All in all, Major Payne is redundant and doesn't get the point across well.