On M List of Movie Reviews
(For optimum viewing, adjust the zoom level of your browser to 125%.)
Mission: Impossible II (2000)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/04, 7/07, 1/17
7/07:
Mission: Impossible II is a boring action-adventure flick that's nothing like the original.
The sequel starts off well for ten minutes, and then the wheels quickly come off by overwhelming me with the weird Asian
style of filmmaking. Many scenes are given the slo-mo treatment, needlessly dragging things for a long time, which adds nothing
of substance to the story.
The action is bombastic with fancy explosions and impossible physics, only to be finished off with a boring drawn-out
"the-hero-will-win-and-save-the-day-and-get-the-girl" ending. By the way, what's with the birds? It's so fucking cheesy.
The acting is dreadful. It's a toss-up for me to decide who gave the worst performance: John Polson or Thandie
Newton. All I heard from them is "bloke" or "bloody" this and that. Are you sure they're English and Australian?
Sporting a distracting long hair, Tom Cruise spends his time trying to be cool by performing acrobatic silliness. That's
great, Tom, but I'm yawning intensely. Dougray Scott is hilarious by the way he spoke his lines. He'll make a great
comedian someday. Ving Rhames is wasted and has nothing to work with.
The script is silly that's full of "bloke," "mate," and "oi!" There's a line which had my eyes rolling: "What are
you going to do? Spank me?" At one point, Sean Ambrose explained ahead of time what Ethan Hunt would do inside the
Biocyte building. Come on, Mr. Robert Towne, is that the best you can come up with? And did you actually write the screenplay
for Chinatown? I read somewhere that Roman Polanski redid the entire thing.
All in all, Mission: Impossible II has done the impossible by putting me to sleep.
1/17:
Mission: Impossible II is the most ridiculous, overblown action film of the year.
I was literally falling sleep while watching the movie because it's so slow and long. The original worked because it had an
intelligent script which focused more on the quality of acting. That's not the case for the sequel. It's all about the
style, looks, guns, gadgets, masks (way too many), cars, motorcycles, and stunts.
The scenes are unrealistic, overwrought, cheesy, and, worst of all, impossible. Limited is the number
of locations shots. The setting seems to take place within one mile of Sydney, Australia. That's why the movie isn't
exciting enough.
Everything has to move slow because that's how John Woo likes it. He incorporates the same elements from
Dip huet seung hung and Face-Off in the hopes of creating a cool movie. Well,
he failed big time. John, John, John...this is America, not Hong Kong.
Tom Cruise is okay. I'm more distracted by his long, silky-smooth hair. Once again, he did most of his
own stunts, and he's impressive. Among the few reasons I like the film, Dougray Scott is
cool playing Sean Ambrose, but he's also unintentionally funny, especially by the way he speaks. Every time he opened his mouth,
I would mock him by repeating what he said with an English accent.
Anthony Hopkins is decent, replacing Jon Voight, and has a great line: "Mr. Hunt, this isn't mission difficult.
It's mission impossible. 'Difficult' should be a walk in the park for you." Ving Rhames is wasted. However much
money Ving Rhames got to appear in the sequel, he sure had it easy by doing nothing much. Playing the forgettable Billy Baird,
John Polson gives the silliest performance. The way he talked is corny. Unsurprisingly, he never did a movie afterwards.
The worst acting job has to go to Thandie Newton. As beautiful as Thandie can be, she needs to gain
weight...lots of it. She sounds so damn unconvincing for somebody who's supposed to be from England and isn't cut out for
acting. Her character is such an idiot. It was inside the left fucking pocket of the fucking jacket! Gee whiz.
All in all, Mission: Impossible II has no heart and is devoid of anything that's human.