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Murder by Decree (1979)

Rate: 1
Viewed: 8/12

MurderBD
8/12: Proclaimed to be the best Sherlock Holmes film ever made, Murder by Decree is a fraud.

I read all of the stories penned by Arthur Conan Doyle, and I know what Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are. That wasn't either in the film. Both are frauds who are poorly played by Christopher Plummer and James Mason. The former needs to give it up and read the book for real. The latter should've retired from acting altogether.

Oh, man. Christopher Plummer's "Sherlock Holmes" cries on screen. He's also manhandled, gets tossed around, and thinks out loud. There's not a single trace of genius in him.

How weird is this "Sherlock" costing people's lives instead of saving them and not solving the case in a quick workmanlike fashion. I can come up with the typical Holmesian tactics of how it's supposed to be done, but I'm not going to bother. And believe me, the real Sherlock Holmes will never need a clairvoyant for help. He'll be shooting up to five times the usual amount of cocaine into his vein if the thought ever occurred to him. On the other hand, "Watson" is a pushy and obnoxious meddler who does too much which is unlike him in the book. Lestrade and others have chided "Holmes" for trespassing around the crime scene. Ridiculous shit.

The Sherlock Holmes stories in print were rich in language. But the screenplay contains none of it. In fact, I have no goddamn clue of what's going on during the entire film. Besides, what's with the insertion of profane words such as "bloody," "damn," and "blokes"? Nobody ever said them in the book.

Recall the funeral scene for the murdered prostitute and notice how eloquent it is for a dirty, slovenly woman with no teeth? That's hardly likely. The thoroughfares and mews of London weren't paved back then; mud ruled the streets. Sherlock Holmes did a study of it, right down to the location for each specific mud type.

Disappointingly, Donald Sutherland, who's the sole reason why I decided to watch the film, appears for mere five minutes, mostly in trance. I've considered giving the film a '2' because of the well-constructed Victorian English look, but the negatives are too much to overcome.

All in all, I want to take these little peas and shove them up Watson's snotty noseholes.