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Ocean's 11 (1960)

Rate: 3
Viewed: 5/24

Oc11
5/24: I thought I would check out Ocean's 11 before proceeding with the 2001 version.

The original is lucky that it got remade. Otherwise, it'll never see the light of day in this day and age. That's to say "you aren't cool if you think the Rat Pack was cool." Imagine JFK laughing so hard at the film with his pals while throwing his back out. Oh, how I would've wanted to leave the room if that did occur.

What an embarrassment Ocean's 11 is for everybody involved. Even the females are totally wasted. It's hard to take Peter Lawford's character seriously after he's seen with his mother a lot. At least, Cesar Romero, the original Joker, comes out of it unscathed by giving a credible performance that could've gotten him in any Mafia picture.

Jeez...the antiquated dialogue. I knew I would be treated to a craptacular script after seeing Charles Lederer's name on screen. Clearly, Dean Martin looks bad now after he said, "Repeal the 14th and 20th amendment. Take the vote away from the women, make slaves out of them" and asked Uncle Tom, aka Sammy Davis, Jr., "How do you get that black stuff off your face?" Very profound stuff, indeed.

Why cast Norman Fell and Joey Bishop in the same film? They look practically the same. By the way, here's a fun fact: the latter was a member of the Rat Pack but got thrown out by Frank Sinatra after being hit with a set of demands when he wanted a simple favor from him, yet ironically, Bishop outlived everybody in the Rat Pack. You may see Dean Martin drinking liquor constantly and think he was a major boozehound, but he fooled everybody because it's apple juice the whole time. Therefore, the Rat Pack gave an illusion of being partyheads when, in reality, they were savvy businessmen.

Back to the film, nothing happens during the first hour; it's a lot of idle talk, booze, and smoking. Finally, the guys get to the bottom of it by talking about the heist. As idiotic and simplistic as the plan sounded, I could've raised my hand and said, "Uh..." But I know I'll be shot down by Frank Sinatra who insisted on having everything done his way. Naturally enough, the ending sucks so bad, prompting me to say, "That's it?"

Showing the five motel-like casinos in a row over and over is a horrendous idea. What's with the application of the invisible spray paint on the door and floor? Is the film telling me these geezers can't see their way through a partially lit room? Yeah, sure...they can simply waltz in and take millions of dollars like that given Las Vegas was mob-controlled at the time. Suddenly, Duke Santos has it figured out which tells me the famous sin city is, quite frankly, too small to believe with Sammy Davis, Jr., being the only black man alive in the role of a trash collector (as a matter of fact, Las Vegas refused to have anything to do with blacks for a long time, forcing them to live in a segregated area called the Westside).

All in all, Ocean's 11 is a dinosaur.