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Octopussy (1983)

Rate: 1
Viewed: 2/11

Opussy
2/11: Yeah, the airplane scene did it for me, turning Octopussy into an utter farce that's the second worst James Bond picture right behind On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

At least, Steven Berkoff makes a cameo because I still remember his mockery of the colorful code names, Wolf Den and Dragon Fly, in Rambo: First Blood Part II.

Meanwhile, the distance from Germany to India is 4,200 miles, and thrice that makes it 12,600. Hence, James Bond must have a hell lot of endurance to accomplish the trip consecutively. Why does Kamal Khan return to India for the money and then make his escape? Should this have been done after he set off the bomb?

Another thing I don't understand is how the Russian general (hard to take him seriously when he acts like a fool) was all tied up with Kamal Khan (or is it the other way around?). Regardless, it's been a confusing film because there are three major subplots going on at the same time: the nuclear war instigated by Russia, Kamal Khan, and Octopussy.

One part that had my eyes rolling is James Bond successfully surviving the 100-man bounty hunting spree (which reminds me of The Most Dangerous Game) in the middle of the jungle that's the size of a football field because there's no way in hell he would've done it. Then, he proceeds to pull off a Tarzan stunt and is able to tell a wild tiger to sit?

In Germany, James wouldn't have made it in several hours from where he got off the train to the exact spot where the bomb was ready to explode. He even applied a clown makeup on himself, which looks professionally done, probably within two minutes when there were four minutes to go. In other words, it's all impossible.

The best part is when James tried to get a ride from a car that's filled with college kids, but the driver fooled him before speeding away. It's exactly how the British spy should be treated: a joke. He finally solifidies his pervert status by zooming in a woman's breasts with the video camera.

All in all, the franchise has made a damning admission: women are nothing more than sex objects, hence Octopussy.