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Romeo + Juliet (1996)

Rate: 1
Viewed: 5/04, 1/26

RomeoJul
1/26: It's impossible to withstand the sheer awfulness of Romeo + Juliet, having taken me five days to complete.

Just about everybody is miscast. I think Pete Postlethwaite was the only credible Shakespearean actor by speaking exactly how he's supposed to. But why Harold Perrineau? He's a disaster. John Leguizamo as Tybalt? That's unbelievable and hilarious in a bad way.

Leonardo DiCaprio has been obviously chosen for his pretty boy looks. Claire Danes sucks, is no Juliet, and has zero chemistry with him. This is supposed to be the greatest love story of all time, but they both fail to convey that. The way these two sounded is like reading from a high school biology textbook while putting no emotion into what they say.

How about these lines? They're so jarring to listen to in modern day setting. A few uttered by the characters are quite incomprehensible to the point of evoking unintended laughter from me. That's because the imbecilic screenwriters redid the play; in fact, they omitted tons of Shakespeare's lines by cherrypicking. The following is an example of what I mean:

Shakespeare
Madam, an hour before the worshiped sun
Peered forth the golden window of the east,
A troubled mind drove me to walk abroad,
Where underneath the grove of sycamore
That westward rooteth from this city side,
So early walking did I see your son.

Movie
Madam, underneath the grove of sycamore, so early walking did I see your son.

All in all, Romeo + Juliet is easily among the worst movies ever made.