On S List of Movie Reviews
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Superman (1978)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/08, 7/25
7/08:
Superman is way too long.
Made in 1978, it hasn't aged well since then. I can spot the strings holding up Christopher Reeve. And yes, I
admit there are certain scenes that have stayed stuck in my mind despite either laughing or rolling my eyes
at the rest. However, I give the film credit in one aspect: it has wonderful special effects.
The plot sucks. Why not name the city New York City instead of Metropolis? It's so obvious. Lex Luthor is
bland, uninteresting, and not menacing at all. Why does he have to reveal his plans to Superman? Come on, that's
dumb. Margot Kidder as Lois Lane, eh...no, thanks. The most famous scene is when Superman spun the planet
backwards. I was thinking, "Why couldn't he go further back until he met Lex Luthor for the first time?" All
of the problems from that point forward would've been avoided.
Remember when the 18-year-old Clark Kent ran quickly past a train while the seemingly five-year-old Lois Lane
watched? Then, when Margot Kidder meets Christopher Reeve for the first time, she looks so old. After Clark kicks
the football into the air, won't somebody be killed when it lands somewhere far away? Superman's famous slogan
is "I'm here to fight for truth, justice, and the American way." So, I guess the problems in Africa aren't
important to him. Well, good luck with that because the United States is a very corrupt country.
All in all, Superman is dated.
7/25:
Superlong, Superboring, Superdumb...take your pick; it doesn't matter.
The Blu-ray version helps because I don't see the strings holding up Christopher Reeve anymore. Remember
when Jor-El said, "It is forbidden for you to interfere with human history"? You can translate that as "There's
nothing you can do about the problems in Africa. You might as well stay put in the United States." Ironically,
is Superman not supposed to stop the criminals because he's "interfering with human history"?
Remember the famous moment when Superman spun the Earth back and then forwarded it a bit? It's interesting that
the aftereffects of the bomb have disappeared completely. How is holding up one
piece of rock will stop the whole San Andreas Fault, which is 750 miles long, from crumbling? When Lois Lane
died, I cheered but got disappointed when Superman cared enough to turn back time. So...he couldn't do the same
for every single young person who had died in a freak accident? That's pretty selfish of him. How about when
Superman screamed? I saw a bunch of cavities back in there; some invincible guy he is.
Three hours long...wow, I was already bored after watching a third of the film. The writing is awful and the
subplots even worse. After listening to Marlon Brando's rubbish, I concluded he got paid too much and shouldn't
have been selected in the first place. I don't understand why Christopher Reeve is shown so little when he's
supposed to be the star.
Margot Kidder is so bad that she makes my skin crawl and looks fucking stupid. How is it that she's a reporter if
she can't spell for shit? And Clark Kent shows interest in her and is willing to reveal all of his Superman
secrets to her? He can do waaaaayyyy better than Lois Lane. While Ned Beatty and Valerie Perrine act like fools,
Gene Hackman is wasted. How his character figured out that Kryptonite was the answer to defeat Superman is 100%
unbelievable. That thing has to be instantly lethal to human beings because of its extreme radioactivity. When
it was put around Superman's neck, he should've been so weak to swim in the pool and died by drowning.
All in all, the correct tagline of Superman is: "You won't believe bullshit can fly."