On B List of Movie Reviews
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The Ballad of Jack and Rose (2005)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/14
12/14:
Talk about awkward: the kind that makes me go, "Um..."
It's what The Ballad of Jack and Rose has been like. So, let me summarize the plot:
Living on an island, Jack (Daniel Day-Lewis) and Rose (Camilla Belle), who are father and daughter, revive the
practices of failed communes during the 60's. At one moment, they were going to engage in a lovemaking session but only to
stop short of it.
Jack goes out the next day to transfer his pent-up sexual energy onto some woman he has been dating for four
months. Afterwards, he offers to pay her to move in with him and his daughter. She does along with her two sons. One is an
AC/DC punk, and the other has a weight problem and is an aspiring hairstylist whose aim is to give women boy haircuts.
During the first night, Rose sees her father having sex with the woman and decides to take off her clothes in front of the
hairstylist who resists her and insteads give her a butch haircut. A couple of days later, Rose, carrying a box
of a copperhead snake, observes from a distance in the dark a female giving the AC/DC punk a blow job in
a beat-up car. He sees Rose and decides to make his move to devirginize her a short time later during the same night.
The snake under the bed breaks free amid their brief romp and is left roaming around the house.
The next day, Rose celebrates her deflowering moment by hanging up the white bed sheet with a spot of a blood on it and declares
the sex experiment a success. Jack goes out to have a smoke, takes a look at the flying sheet, and becomes enraged because
he can't stand the thought of being beaten to it by a "scumbag." After breaking the AC/DC punk's legs and arm, Jack gives
his mother money to move out of the house for good.
Meanwhile, Rose breaks into a house that's still in construction, and her father sleeps over. They kiss for a moment before stopping short
to realize the error of their ways. The next day, he has a heart attack and dies in his sleep. Rose sets the house on fire
while regretting the fact that her father never banged her. Two years later, she's happily working in a nursery somewhere
in Vermont. The end.
So, what is it all about? I suppose that The Ballad of Jack and Rose is a subtle metaphor about controlled
incestuous feelings. Yep, that's what it must be because incest is a huge taboo in Hollywood which is almost never shown in films.
The pretentious ending is a disappointment because I prefer the girl to immolate herself along with her deceased father which
can be thought of as Easy Rider meeting
The Wicker Man. By the way, I'm sure that she'll be investigated for murder
because how can anyone prove her father died of natural causes?
Taking the Sean Penn route, Daniel Day-Lewis breaks down to cry more than 75% of the time and then calls it acting. So, why did
he agree to do this dreck? The easiest explanation is: his wife, Rebecca Miller, is the director, so anything for her.
Camilla Belle is pretty, which is why attempts at incest are overlooked, and is capable of meeting the standard,
acting-wise.
All in all, The Ballad of Jack and Rose is so bad and awkward that it's hysterically funny.