On B List of Movie Reviews
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The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
10/02, 2/15
2/15:
The Blair Witch Project was the most-talked-about film of 1999, but I didn't pay attention.
In 2002, I finally came around to find out what the fuss was about by proceeding to see it. Well, the movie turns out
to be a one big nothing while failing on many levels.
Instead of going on a camping trek to document a local legend, the three characters argue among themselves like fucking
crybabies who haven't a goddamn clue about camping. They bitch, moan, and whine about the conditions and being lost in the
woods. I was like, "Can you calm down and shut the fuck up?"
Obviously, they don't know how a compass works even though they did bring it with them along with the map they probably
never studied. Most of the time, I had been wishing for them to die horribly by the manner of Deliverance.
Before I started the film, I knew the whole thing was fake. Hell, I knew that going back to 1999 because there's no
such thing as ghosts and the supernatural. But to watch The Blair Witch Project and be told of strange things
happening as they narrate what they're seeing is insulting to my intelligence.
Of course, nothing is happening. People can do a lot of tricks in the editing room. Suppose, for the sake of argument,
the video footage was real and the events were real. Why would the cops release it to the public? Anyway, I can't believe
the people bought into the hype. I guess the line "there's a sucker born every minute" has never been so true.
All in all, The Blair Witch Project is proof positive why shaking the camera never works.