On H List of Movie Reviews
(For optimum viewing, adjust the zoom level of your browser to 125%.)
The House on Sorority Row (1982)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/15
5/15:
My feeling is that all slasher films are virtually the same.
Case in point: The House on Sorority Row. It takes place at *gasp* a sorority house, and the formula is
*gasp* exactly the same as Black Christmas.
At the beginning, I'm shown the scene of a mother delivering a stillbirth. Yet twenty years later, the son is alive?
The words "sorority" and "prank" do not belong in the same sentence as it usually leads to criminal charges. Predictably,
that's what happened here.
Because the party is so, so, so important, the sorority sisters attempt to cover up the crime by throwing the deceased in
a five-foot-deep pool that's full of green filth and hoping her body will sink, leading me to make a rock-solid conclusion:
these girls are that fucking dumb! One of them, en route to the sorority party, is a blonde who wears a nice, sexy black
dress, showing plenty of skin. Evidently, she looks tad overdressed. Hence, she should perhaps think about saving it for the
Oscars or, better yet, a snorting party for cokeheads.
It's obvious who the lone survivor will be. However, the longer her character survives, Kate McNeil's acting grows worse as
her face has become ghastly-looking. If I'm going to sit through a film for a long time while watching the masked killer to do
his worst, then I should see his face after all. But the satisfaction has been refused. Hence, I'm going to say, "Fuck you," and
give the movie a '3'.
All in all, if everybody is a coward and a murderer, what do I care if they're being killed by a homicidal maniac?