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The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)

Rate: 1
Viewed: 11/08

11/08: Ten minutes into The Long Kiss Goodnight, I quickly asked myself, "Is this one of the worst movie I've ever seen?"

It turns out to be in the affirmative. Renny Harlin has a lot to do with that. This is the same guy who directed the all-time box-office disaster of the 20th century, Cutthroat Island, which shuttered Carolco Pictures for good.

I probably wouldn't be surprised to find out if he, before agreeing to do The Long Kiss Goodnight, woke up one day and said, "I'm going to make a crap movie featuring my wife!" Unsurprisingly, the two films took a toll on their five-year marriage, leading to a divorce in 1998.

Why is Samantha Caine allowed the chance to escape death many times? Is Mitch Hennessey supposed to die because he's spilling a gallon of blood per minute after being shot in the chest? One reviewer exclaimed that the action scenes were spectacular. Well, I thought they were crap like the special effects and editing.

All in all, The Long Kiss Goodnight is Bad Filmmaking 101.

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