On P List of Movie Reviews

(For optimum viewing, adjust the zoom level of your browser to 125%.)


The Professional (1994)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 8/04, 7/17

Leon
7/17: Do you want to know how to spot an IMDb fanboy?

Just ask him what he thinks of The Professional. If he tells you it's one of the best movies ever, that's your answer. When The Professional came out domestically in 1994, nobody thought much of it as evidenced by the box-office returns. I didn't and therefore forgot about the film for many years until seeing it listed on IMDb's 250 Best Films.

In fact, the film should be treated as an IQ test. If somebody liked it, his IQ is thus somewhere in the retarded range. Who the fuck stages a gigantic shootout inside the apartment in the middle of New York City? Everybody will go deaf as a post with cops swarming all there. And who the fuck uses a grenade launcher when a tear gas bomb will do?

What is the point of the film? Is it the violence? The editing? That Léon looks cool with sunglasses on? Or just plain old-fashioned pedophilia? Jean Reno will always be famous for playing Léon the dumbfuck pedophile...er professional assassin. He'll never escape it. To be honest with you, it's a good acting performance from him whose character is actually a spin-off from La Femme Nikita, a dumb French comic-book movie by the same director Luc Besson.

Because Léon dies at the end, questions of pedophilia are effectively ended. But let's be real: it's been a dominant theme throughout the film, but Luc Besson chose not to go further at the risk of damaging his product. Remember this...pedophilia isn't cool and will never be. Now, I wonder what percent of the IMDb fanboys are into child porn and hentai.

Making her screen debut, Natalie Portman is okay but manipulative. In other words, she's another brat. Gary Oldman is somewhat better than what I'm accustomed to. Yet he's the same fake actor who plays a ridiculous character. At one point, Gary Oldman yelled, "Bring me everyone!" I just wanted to scream back at him, "Shut the fuck up, Gary!" By the way, drinking lots of milk can be bad for one's health, leading to premature death. Then again, Léon is borderline mentally retarded which makes it moot.

All in all, The Professional is overrated.