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The Spitfire Grill (1996)

Rate: 4
Viewed: 3/24

SpitG
3/24: The Spitfire Grill is a semi-cheesy movie about a special girl who moves to a special town that's inhabited by special people who are surrounded by special trees in front of the special sky (look at the movie poster to see what I mean).

I think that covers just about everything. Oh, all right, I'll give Percy a pass because of what happened to her when she was young. It fits her low-IQ behavior and her way of thinking, hence the tragedy at the end. Now, whose fault was that? I say it's a tie: Hannah Ferguson and Nahum Goddard. The former went too far and crossed the line when she had a fight with Percy while the latter was clearly cracked in the head.

Um, mind telling me why Hannah's son is living out there in the woods for years and years? The movie doesn't bother to explain. Of course, I'm forced to sit through it for two hours after Percy is shown answering phones as a representative of Maine's tourism industry while in prison, and I'm not allowed to know why she's there in the first place until the end.

As a matter of fact, The Spitfire Grill is a horror movie in disguise. When Percy passed away, a new girl came over from somewhere because of the essay contest to replace her. The moment that I knew is when Joe's brain started clicking as soon as he saw her and had the moves ready which were applied earlier on Percy. All I could think of is yelling at the girl to run away as far as possible from this dangerous town that's called Gilead. The sight of Nahum and his wife who are back to their normal selves validates what I'm talking about.

Speaking of the essay contest, I first thought, "Not a bad idea," Then, I started wondering what could go wrong. The answer is plenty. One, the originator can collect all of the monies but award the café to a relative in her family, thus keeping both within the family. Two, what happens if the minimum reserve isn't met? That is, what if it's $200,000 short of the goal? Do they go ahead with it or refund the money to everybody? Three, the letters can be faked; they'll make up anything to pass for quality writing which is called "gaming the system." Then again, what's there to lose? It's only $100 to win something that's worth perhaps $250,000. At any rate, it's a lot of work, and the originators are better off spinning the wheel and picking a winner. The only surprise is nobody came from out of town to look over the place first.

Anyway, Alison Elliott and Marcia Gay Harden are okay. Playing an unlikeable character, Ellen Burstyn gets my vote for the most melodramatic performance of the year. Will Patton has done this too many times throughout his career. It's time for him to find a new character or, better yet, retire for good.

All in all, The Spitfire Grill is full of sentimental crap that can be found on Lifetime channel.