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The Three Musketeers (1948)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/12
7/12:
Let this fact be stated: all film versions of The Three Musketeers suck.
The book is as inimitable as ever and will never be faithfully captured in cinema. As you may draw this inference, the 1943
picture of The Three Musketeers is terrible...terrible...terrible! There's nothing French about it that's the image of
honor, chivalry, and statesmanship.
Instead, what I got is a scene of Gene Kelly (who's too old to play d'Artagnan) becoming the first American Peeping
Tom actor to go batshit crazy to the point of near erection at the sight of June Allyson clad in a simple nightgown. The
look in her eyes reveals some of the awful acting that'll lie ahead for the rest of the film. By the way, Allyson's
character isn't the daughter but the wife of a mercer landlord!
Not pretty enough to be Milady de Winter, Lana Turner gives a wretched performance. Constance is appointed as the gaoler for
Milady...in England. It makes so much sense given she works for the Queen of France. Hence, the question must be asked:
why...the...hell...is...she...in...England? What experience does she have in gaoling? What makes her a suitable fit for the
duty? Some of these Hollywood filmmakers were idiots back in the day.
Hardly much of participation is drawn from Aramis, Athos, and Porthos, and the worst part is that I still have no idea who's
who in the picture. Oh yes, as history goes, Richelieu was the Cardinal but...NOT THE PRIME MINISTER OF FRANCE. Get the facts
straight, imbeciles. He didn't have higher powers than King Louis XIII and thus had no right to utter the treasonous
statements in King's court.
What happened to the famous scene at the Battle of La Rochelle? Unimportant! How about John Felton? Irrelevant! Any more
encounters with Rochefort? Who cares! What about Bonancieux the landlord? Disappeared! Where were Grimaud, Mousqueton, and
Bazin? Gone!
At least, the film captures some of the major points which makes for a good adaptation. That's okay, but the
sword fights, my goodness, they've lulled me to sleep. However, Gene Kelly is agile, and his stunt work is
impressive. On the other hand, I can believe Van Heflin was drunk during the filming.
All in all, the 1948 version of The Three Musketeers took me four days to complete largely because of the massive
ennui that had fallen upon me.