On V List of Movie Reviews
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The Vault of Horror (1973)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/21
10/21:
Coming from Tales from the Crypt, I see The Vault of Horror is more of
the same.
There are five new stories in this anthology horror picture with none of them scary. At least, the acting is fine, yet I can't
understand why no lead characters are black, Latino, etc. Some variation here would be nice instead of the usual white Brits.
Midnight Mess: This one is dull and very short. Moving on...
The Neat Job: The second best vignette of the show, I feel for Eleanor who has the impossible task of meeting Arthur
Critchit's exceedingly high standards when it comes to neatness, orderliness, and exactness.
This Trick'll Kill You: Everything looks good, but I can't help being distracted by the strings that hold up
the rope. Pretending to be an Indian, Jasmina Hilton is obviously white and can be easily mistaken for Natalie Wood.
Bargain in Death: It's another boring tripe. By the way, grave robbing was common during the 19th century, and it
was a lucrative practice for the purpose of medical studies. Baltimore was, once upon a time, the grave robbing capital of the
United States because of the six medical schools in the vincinity. Additionally, the corpses were pilfered for valuables which
were often done with the cooperation of caretakers of the cemeteries. Eventually, the whole thing ended because all of the
fifty states decided to donate the unclaimed bodies to medical schools.
Drawn and Quartered: It's maybe the best vignette of Tales from the Crypt
and The Vault of Horror combined. The story is clever, and there's an intelligent twist in regard to the safe that houses
the painting. I didn't think of it although I knew the self-portrait had to be protected at all times.
All in all, the final word in the title The Vault of Horror is misleading as it's been anything but.