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The Virgin Suicides (1999)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
5/15
5/15:
The Virgin Suicides is nepotism at its finest.
It's not a question of "who do you know?" but "who are you related to?" If you're familiar, right from
the outset, with the production company, American Zoetrope, which was founded by Francis Ford Coppola and
George Lucas, then you can see where this is heading.
Backed by its financing, Sofia Coppola, Francis' daughter who's infamous for
The Godfather Part III, makes her directing debut in
The Virgin Suicides. Eventually, she went on to receive an undeserving Best Original Screenplay
Oscar for Lost in Translation and hasn't done anything
noteworthy ever since. Ah, nepotism is king. Once again, it's "who are you related to?" but not "who do
you know?"
Back to The Virgin Suicides, it's a horrible movie. Every scene has to be implicitly sexual as
possible, and the setting takes place during the 70's. Nothing I've seen is believable or remotely close
to the era. The amount of pretentiousness that's shoved down my throat has left me gagging for air.
It's about five white, blonde, blue-eyed sisters, who are highly revered by their perverted male
classmates, following Cecilia's path after she committed suicide for reasons that aren't made clear. What
do I care about them? They're just repressed sexpots. By using them, it becomes manipulation. People,
especially young kids, don't commit suicide because they're bored. There must be plenty of serious issues
for it to happen. Hence, what I saw in The Virgin Suicides isn't realistic.
I hate these mental midget boys. They're not in love with the girls but want to see them naked and bang
the hell out of them before moving on with their fucked-up lives. It's sad to see James Woods reduced
to this sorry state of a pathetic character. In real life, he would've taken off his glasses, grabbed the
dipshits by their throats, and screamed at them: "I am James Fucking Woods, you fucking cocksuckers!"
Even more sad is the sight of Kathleen Turner who looks practically unrecognizable. I can't believe how
much her looks had gone away since Body Heat. The truth is she was
suffering from rheumatoid arthritis which forced her to take medication and undergo multiple surgeries
that resulted in weight gain. To combat the pain, she drank heavily. Meanwhile, Scott Glenn and Danny
DeVito are apparently in the film because of Sofia's father. As for the rest of the cast, forget them.
Look at Josh Hartnett and his fake hair...what a terrible actor.
All in all, nepotism doesn't wash with me.