On B List of Movie Reviews
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Beaches (1988)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/19
11/19:
I took it for granted that Beaches was going to be a special movie about friendship, but nothing like that ever happened.
What I got instead is Bette Midler screaming, crying, bitching, and moaning for attention. Why can't the J.A.P. shut the
hell up? As a result, she gets a lot of character development through abusive means while Barbara Hershey barely has any.
Let's be honest: Bette Midler is no leading actress. Barbra Streisand (think of
Funny Girl) has her beat by a mile in terms of class and beauty.
When Barbara Hershey's character died, it's an "oh" moment. I mean, who was she? I've never seen Hillary Whitney's parents,
friends, employees, co-workers, or anybody else except for her ex-husband and Aunt Vesta who disappeared after
showing up for a minute. Her terrible acting doesn't help, either, as she looks out of it most of the time.
Beaches tries hard to be about friendship, but C.C. Bloom and Hillary Whitney barely know each other and have no
chemistry; their relationship is so hollow, no matter how much time has passed, that they're strangers to
each other at the end. It's been astonishing.
Of course, a Disease of the Week has to be exploited to salvage the film in a desperate attempt to reach for that "specialness"
like Terms of Endearment or rather Brian's Song which came first by twelve years before the other two showed up.
It's a cheap ploy. Along the way, many characters simply drop out. John Heard looks constipated and
regretful by agreeing to appear in the movie. By the way, I thought I recognized her because she had to be the only one who's
able to pull it off: Blossom's Mayim Bialik for an uncanny look-alike impersonation of Bette Midler.
All in all, a glass of lemonade with heaps of fake sugar suddenly seems appealing as compared to sitting through
Beaches all over again.