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Castle Keep (1969)

Rate: 2
Viewed: 6/20

CasKeep
6/20: For a long time, I thought Battle of the Bulge was the worst WWII picture made, but it has now been dethroned by Castle Keep.

Awful, stupid, boring, talky, and feeling somewhat 60's, Castle Keep isn't fun to sit through when I was expecting something along the lines of The Train, Where Eagles Dare, and The Great Escape. The plot makes no sense, and I don't know why the gang of eight soldiers decided to defend the Maldorais Castle.

The final thirty minutes is an incomprehensible mess of mass shooting and explosions. Why are there fire engines amidst all of this? If anything, the mini art lecture is the only good and funny part of the film, and...that's it.

The always excellent Burt Lancaster is wasted. Why is his character concerned about sex (I know, Burt absolutely had to make a move on Astrid Heeren, but still...) when he should be focusing on the enemy? It makes little sense for him to wear an eye patch when Peter Falk should wear one since he had a glass eye on the right side. For comic relief, Columbo decides to be a baker. Huh?

Although Bruce Dern and Scott Wilson also star, the cast is bland, and I don't like any of their characters. Amazingly enough, these eight guys can mow down hundreds of Nazis without getting hurt until the end. Even though they brought a lot of weapons to the castle, I don't think it's possible because of the weight.

By the way, don't bother googling for the castle. It's not real, and no...it's not the Neuschwanstein Castle which served as an inspiration for the Magic Kingdom Castle. If I were the Maldorais' owner, I would be very angry about Falconer stealing my wife, Beckman taking the paintings as if they belong to him, and Clearboy keeping the Volkswagen. He taking them all in stride is the most unbelievable aspect.

All in all, Sydney Pollack should be flogged for having directed Castle Keep while spending a lot of time on pointless talk and squandering Burt Lancaster's potential to make an exciting action-war drama.