Seinfeld

(For optimum viewing, adjust the zoom level of your browser to 125%.)



Season One (1989-90)

Rate: 3 out of 5
Viewed: 7/20

Sein1
10/24: There's no doubt that Seinfeld is a work of genius.

The reruns will never be old because of so many reasons. Most importantly, they demonstrate how relatable the content is to the quotidian real life with the same complaints about how the real world is run by weird unwritten societal rules.

When Seinfeld finally caught the public's eye by large during the fifth season or so (the show was actually never in the top 25 during the first four seasons except for the last one which barely cracked the list), it started to become overrated and was somewhat not the same anymore.

People were saying, "Wow! Seinfeld is so good!" when I was like, "Duh..." By the eighth season, the show grew worse as everybody including New York City ate it up and thought it was the greatest thing ever since sliced bread.

Brandon Tartikoff, who was probably the most important figure at NBC, personally feared that the show might be "too Jewish, too New York." I agree with him on both counts but feel more strongly on the latter which will be too pronounced during the last three or four seasons.

As for Season One, it's unfortunately not that great because the comedy is often inconsistent although Jerry's stand-up routine is quite good. I'll like to think of this season as "everybody trying to find his way" in terms of what works and doesn't work.

Here's my analysis for some of the following episodes:

The Seinfeld Chronicles: NBC decided to cancel the show after the test audience reacted extremely negative to this pilot episode. Imagine that because many trademarks used went on to be applied in subsequent episodes for much of the series' existence. Happily, the execs changed their minds.

In the meanwhile, I find it funny that when Kessler (who's renamed Kramer after this episode) prophetically said he was that "close to being a lawyer" as demonstrated by his thumb and forefinger because Michael Richards faked his way in Trial and Error years later.

Speaking of Michael Richards, let's look back on his movie career. I remember how stupid his physical comedy was and how lame he looked doing it. When Michael Richards became Kramer and played the role to perfection, he earned the title as the greatest TV character ever albeit having reminded me of Ed Norton in The Honeymooners. Jerry Seinfeld couldn't have said it better when he described Kramer as either a "valueless lump of refuse" or an "incredible Zen master." Anyway, where did Kramer get the money to sustain his life without ever working for so long?

During the audition, Tony Shalhoub almost won the part of Kramer, but it's a good thing that he didn't because I can't see him playing Kramer. Thankfully, he became Antonio the cabbie driver in Wings and was very funny.

The Stake Out: Julia Louis-Dreyfus makes her first appearance as Elaine Benes after replacing Lee Garlington who played the waitress. Believe it or not, it was the best move ever for the sake of the show's survival.

Male Unbonding: This is the only episode, which looks old as it's the second ever shot, in the history of Seinfeld with a title that doesn't begin with the article "the."




Season Two (1991)

Rate: 3 out of 5
Viewed: 7/20

Sein1
7/20: Season Two isn't what I call a great one, because it's not consistently funny, but is slowly improving to what it'll become.

Sometimes, I think Jerry's stand-up act is better than the rest of the episode which seems slow. I realize by now that it's the moments that make the show memorable and what it is, but a completely funny episode is very rare and almost never happens.

Here's my analysis for some of the following episodes:

The Pony Remark: This is one of the most memorable episodes because of Jerry's conversation killer when he says that he hated any kid who had a pony and Manya gets all forceful about it. Then, to cap it off after she leaves the table, he tries hard to get anyone to agree with him. Not letting it go at the end, Jerry has a final comment about it, "Who figures an immigrant's going to have a pony?" invoking Julia's genuine surprise laugh. By the way, this is when the writing starts to get better, finally putting Seinfeld in the classic sitcom territory.

The Jacket: Lawrence Tierney as Alton Benes is one of the top three memorable characters ever in a cameo on Seinfeld although it's his only appearance. The only thing that surprised me is that they hired him in the first place for a comedy show. Why, I've never seen Lawrence smile in anything. He was probably the most notorious tough guy back then with an extremely intimidating presence. Look no further than his performances in Born to Kill and Dillinger. By the way, it's a nice-looking jacket but, of course, the pink lining has to go.

The Baby Shower: It's obviously one of the funniest episodes of all time as so many things happen at once, hence the screwball effect. Ironically, as George had planned to stand up to his former date, Jerry was the one who got crushed by someone in the same vein with so much hilarity. That's the best part ever.

The Chinese Restaurant: This is among all-time greatest episodes in TV history. Just pure Seinfeld. However, it's strange not seeing Kramer there.

The Deal: Jerry can do better than Elaine.




Season Three (1991-92)

Rate: 4 out of 5
Viewed: 7/20

Sein3
7/20: Season Three has the show hitting its stride, yet many episodes aren't thoroughly funny while Jerry's stand-up comedy has to go.

However, the jokes are much improved now, and there are more classic moments than before which have made the show as it is with a few of them being legendary, having become part of television history. Oddly, a recurring theme is how expensive Jerry's friends are, costing him thousands of dollars.

Here's my analysis for some of the following episodes:

The Note: George finally admits the truth: he has been a closet homosexual all along. That's why the poor loser has a secret crush on Jerry and keeps hanging out with him.

The Truth: My favorite line from George is when he yelled, "When I was working, I spent, baby!"

The Pen: Jerry's parents are annoying. It's the same routine they do, saying that nothing bothers them when everything really does. There's a Brando stroke of genius when Elaine yells for Stella while Jerry's eyes are ready to be popped out as if they're on springs. By the way, Liz Sheridan, who plays Jerry's mother, used to be in a romantic relationship with James Dean.

The Dog: Why not buy a crate, put the dog in it, and send the bill to the drunkard? Or better yet, put the dog in the kennel and then send the bill?

The Library: It's a great, noirish episode with a memorable performance by Philip Baker Hall as Mr. Bookman.

The Parking Garage: I consider this episode to be in the top 2 or 3 of all time in Seinfeld history because it's so good. However, the set-up can be distracting at times because there are so many things going on. At the same time, I keep looking at the mirrors in the background and the colored sheets of paper with the numbers written on them. No matter what, it's just a brilliantly directed episode with tons of creativity that's pure Seinfeld.

The Tape: I've always felt that George and Elaine belong together, and I hate them both. Only if George had more confidence and wasn't such a loser, it would probably work.

The Alternate Side: Interestingly, Julia Louis-Dreyfus ended up being in a 1997 Woody Allen film called Deconstructing Harry.

The Red Dot: You know what? If I can't see the red dot from a distance, then what's the problem? That's why this episode bothers me. The cleaning lady's cashmere story is crazy melodramatic.

The Subway: Jerry makes an allusion to Willy/Biff Loman to describe George. Ever since then, it has stayed stuck in my mind because it's exactly what I think of him: a fucking loser. Also, increasingly, George is showing the kind of pathological liar that he is. Also, he's very manic depressive, not being able to contain his emotions, and is always having angry outbursts. As a result, George needs to be on medication to chill the fuck out.

The Suicide: Like the make-your-own pizza pie idea, Kramer's beach cologne will reappear later, and it's not a bad idea at all. Wayne Knight makes his first appearance as Newman who could've had his own TV show.

The Boyfriend: One of the most famous episodes in Seinfeld history, Wayne Knight reenacts what he did in JFK.

The Limo: It's a great episode that's highly reliant on creativity, but Jerry looks too Jewish to pass for a Nazi.

The Letter: This is the one that Kramer has his portrait done which just looks okay.

The Parking Space: I have to side with Mike Moffitt because George took forever in his attempt to park the car.

The Keys: If Kramer left the show and never came back, that's the end of Seinfeld. In fact, if he never existed, I highly doubt the show would've lasted this long or be memorable at all.




Season Four (1992-93)

Rate: 3 out of 5
Viewed: 7/21

Sein4
7/21: Many episodes are funny or well-done with plenty of memorable lines and moments that are legendary but not The Contest.

However, it starts to be boring during the final third of the season; just about all, especially the finale, are terrible which is an indication that the writers have run out of interesting material. Even Jerry sucks.

Old and stale, Jerry's stand-up comedy should be altogether eliminated. Increasingly, I've been noticing the prevalence of product placements. So, everybody's trying to make some extra money on the side, hm?

George has gotten annoying, and he complains a lot and thinks he knows everything. I don't know why Jerry puts up with him. What are the odds of them meeting beautiful women more often than not? And what is the total number of sex partners each of the four characters has had lifetime?

Here's my analysis for some of the following episodes:

The Pitch/The Ticket: It's a brilliant episode that captures what Seinfeld is all about in a nutshell. The line about Neville Chamberlain is a great one because that's exactly what he did, setting off WWII. Another is when Jerry told a telemarketer off about how he felt about being called at home for a sales pitch. Susan should've wished that she never consented to the date with George because he's the single reason for so many terrible things that have happened to her.

The Wallet: This is one of the worst episodes in Seinfeld history. Jerry's parents, especially his father, are grating and difficult to bear. George is too much to stand, too. He's just a fucking loser.

The Bubble Boy: It's a memorable one for the Moors/Moops misprint during the game of Trivial Pursuit. Even more so is when Jerry was handed a piece of napkin and wiped his mouth with it when listening to the sob story. It's the best description of who Jerry is. On the other hand, I don't think it's funny when the log cabin burned down.

The Contest: It's the most overrated episode of all time. The more seasons I watch, the more I realize that sex has to be the center of conversations. I just don't see why there must be sex constantly for Seinfeld to be funny. "The Parking Garage" had none. Neither did "The Limo" nor "The Chinese Restaurant." That's the trouble with comedy nowadays because there's too much focus on sex. I was in complete agreement with Marla about how disgusting Jerry and his friends were. Really, she hit the right note. By the way, John Kennedy, Jr., was an overrated figure who had accomplished nothing of significance. Even putting the "F" between his first and last names was going too far.

The Airport: This one is so much better than the previous episode. The shot of Kramer running alongside the moving airplane is too funny. The treatment of the passengers as first class and second class reminds me of what occurred on the Titanic.

The Pick: The reference to The Elephant Man is well-done.

The Implant: Two famous quotes are uttered by Kramer and Sidra (Teri Hatcher) in this hilarious double-dip episode: "It's like a sauna in here" and "They're real...and they're spectacular."

The Pilot: What difference does it make whether or not the fake Kramer stole a box of raisins? Anyway, the pilot is terrible, and so is the season finale. Often, Seinfeld has been called a "show about nothing" when in fact it's about shallowness, selfishness, and self-obsession.




Season Five (1993-94)

Rate: 3 out of 5
Viewed: 7/21

Sein5
7/21: Seinfeld has gotten worse with tons of sex and adult language.

Sometimes, it's gross. There's not much of comedy going on...just a lot of catch phrases and moments. Jerry's stand-up is brutally unfunny. In one of them, he talks about a baby who's born with dirty glasses. The show had genius written all over it during the first three seasons, but now, it has sunk low enough to meet the juvenile standard.

Here's my analysis for some of the following episodes:

The Mango: At the beginning of the series, sex talk was in small portions. Currently, it's incessant at a higher frequency which is becoming old and not funny at all.

The Lip Reader: There's a good moment when Kramer clearly doesn't know ASL by mistranslating most of it. While I watched his signs, he, at one point, actually said, "Monkey dancing." Unfortunately, Marlee Matlin perpetuates a myth that deaf people can easily read lips anywhere all the time. The truth is that most can't and that the best of them might be able to do it well enough 30 to 40% of the time. Homophone is a classic lipreading problem, so that's why the six/sex thing is funny and it's true.

The Non-Fat Yogurt: Among the worst episodes, this one didn't make me laugh once. Like sex, the level of profanity has gone full-blown. Now, it's *bleep* this and *bleep* that like there's no tomorrow. How is this funny? I don't get it.

The Masseuse: Again with the massage? We've been through it already. For these situations, just ask directly and see what the response is. Great job, everybody, by making a serial killer more famous than necessary. I don't know how much lower they can go than that. Elaine's selfishness goes to the extreme by requesting her boyfriend to change his name. Awful.

The Cigar Store Indian: I knew Seinfeld had been a racist show all along, and this one exemplifies it.

The Stall: Notice that most of the main characters change boy/girlfriends weekly as they do with their underwear, and they're always too good-looking. While Jerry is sanctimonious about women in general and pointing out breast implants, phone sex talk, and ménage à trois, how come Jerry can't stay with somebody for at least a year? As I correctly thought so in "The Note," George has been secretly gay all along. Elaine is showing her true colors as she's only interested in looks, not somebody's health after Tony had a long fall to the bottom during rock climbing. By the way, if Jane looks familiar, it's Jami Gertz of The Lost Boys and Less Than Zero.

The Dinner Party: Awful, it's a rip-off of "The Chinese Restaurant." Everybody's true colors are showing big time.

The Pie: That suit looks ugly. As for Kramer, I bet his back is showing a huge red spot that's full of blisters and rashes. This episode is an homage to Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

The Stand-In: Finally, after a long while, here's a funny episode, thanks to Danny Woodburn who's pretty good as Mickey. Oddly, are stand-ins supposed to appear first before the actual scene will be shot?

The Wife: I can never understand why it feels awkward to bring something from outside to a restaurant in order to enjoy the meal more. The show is becoming more racist as Kramer shows up at the apartment of a black family with extreme sunburn. Unsurprisingly, Michael Richards saw his reputation go down the drain for uttering the N-word during a comedy performance in 2006. Notice how there are a few black people during the nine-year run of Seinfeld? Usually, they're made out to be either inferior or stereotypical. As shown with the manager at the restaurant, why does it have to be an angry black man to settle things down among white people? Similarly, remember Babu? He and other foreign nationals are also shown either terrorists or helpless which is a sign of the show's xenophobia. That's why I have a really hard time putting Seinfeld in the top 25 TV sitcoms of all time.

The Raincoats: Jerry making out with a woman during Schindler's List is another low point of the show. I'm sure the Holocaust victims appreciated it...not.

The Fire: No matter what Elaine says or thinks, Kramer's idea of a coffee table book about coffee tables is genius. Even that can be transformed into a coffee table. Jon Favreau of Swingers and Made plays Eric the Clown. Bozo the Clown was enormously popular back then, and I used to watch the show, but I doubt many people today know who he is.

The Opposite: Yeah, Regis...I get it. Kramer is bonkos, and so is your co-host.




Season Six (1994-95)

Rate: 4 out of 5
Viewed: 12/24

Sein6
12/24: Jerry's stand-up comedy is much better now, and the jokes are well-worded and clever.

As a matter of fact, Season Six is an improvement over the previous two, and everybody seems to be on cruise control.

Here's my analysis for some of the following episodes:

The Chaperone: The Miss America contest represents everything that's wrong about the culture's view of women. Thankfully, it went away for good not long after.

The Chinese Woman: Yeah, Donna Chang should think about changing her last name. I'll like to see somebody wear a cape in public for real.

The Mom & Pop Store: The great Jon Voight makes a cameo appearance and has a hilarious moment with Kramer that pays homage to Best Picture winner Midnight Cowboy.

The Scofflaw: Um...why not run the license plate through the database and get the address of the owner of the brown Diplomat? By the way, this episode is a sort of homage to Moby Dick. George's new hair looks great, so I don't agree with Jerry at all.

The Highlights of 100: This one perfectly encapsulates all of the problems with the show: too much focus on sex. At least, the catch phrases are very good, being the primary reason why Seinfeld is a work of genius.

The Jimmy: It's one of the more memorable episodes because of Jimmy's third person talk of which I can never forget. It's unusual and different. George will copy this for the following season. On the other hand, Jerry is a hypocrite when he's shown disgusted by the placement of porn literature at the dentist's office, yet he dates a different woman almost weekly.

The Understudy: I hate Bette Midler, and I hated the movie Beaches.




Season Seven (1995-96)

Rate: 3 out of 5
Viewed: 12/24

Sein7
12/24: Season 7 is the beginning of the end.

How do I know? It starts with Elaine who can't stop getting on my nerves constantly. She wants to look perfect which has become a distraction, especially her ever white teeth. Ever notice the pale circles around her eyes? Plus, Jerry's stand-up comedy sucks and needs to be thrown out of the show.

Anyway, Seinfeld worked the best when the four main characters were being themselves in the most normal way possible, hence the legendary episodes: "The Chinese Restaurant" and "The Parking Garage."

Here's my analysis for some of the following episodes:

The Postponement: The babbling rabbi is sure something else, huh? Like I've said before, George and Elaine are meant to be together. As for Susan, it'll be the biggest mistake of her life by agreeing to marry George or even seeing him again.

The Maestro: I looked up the internet to see if there were any places in Toscany available for rent or sale, and it turned out to be thousands of them. Hence, the "Maestro" was wrong.

The Soup Nazi: This character is one of the more memorable ones. Then again, racism and xenophobia are at work here as it has been done in many episodes. Look at how many black characters are portrayed; they're either weak, stupid, angry, or incompetent. The Soup Nazi, who's from Argentina or somewhere else, is given the same treatment just like Poppie and Babu.

The Secret Code: How can it be that the guy's jacket is stuck in the ATM?

The Sponge: Too much sex, and Elaine sucks.

The Rye: Saxophone and oral sex...gross.

The Caddy: What's the point of trying the bra on? What is it going to prove? All women wear a bra. Duh.

The Cadillac: Boring episode that went over time. At the end, what Morty Seinfeld did was copying off Richard Nixon's disgraced exit on the helicopter. Why would Marisa Tomei be interested in an all-time loser like George Costanza?

The Calzone: What's so goddamned important about George Steinbrenner? Get rid of him already.

The Bottle Deposit: Kramer and Newman's stupid plan doesn't make sense. Ask yourself this: if the homeless people collect cans and bottles regularly, what are they doing with them? That's where you follow. By the way, just call the cops to report the stolen car and its whereabouts; it's not that complicated.

The Invitations: This is the one: the worst episode in Seinfeld history that killed the whole thing for me. I didn't find it funny that the four main characters were flippant about Susan's death. Hence, they are the ultimate pyschopaths.




Season Eight (1996-97)

Rate: 3 out of 5
Viewed: 12/24

Sein8
12/24: Season 8 may be off to a good start, but it gets worse the more often I see the artificialness that wasn't there in the past and finishes as the worst season ever in Seinfeld history.

There are numerous unnatural, forced situations. I'll say that co-founder Larry David's departure had a lot to do with the drastic change in tone. At least, they've gotten rid of Jerry's stand-up comedy, but the opening scene stinks.

Here's my analysis for some of the following episodes:

The Soul Mate: Two employees recently passed away: Marjorie Gross and Victor Wayne Harris. But who the fuck cares? Now, you see what I mean when I said Susan's death wasn't funny? Moving on...

The Chicken Roaster: J. Peterman copies Marlon Brando's famous skit in Apocalypse Now.

The Abstinence: It took nine episodes into this season that they had to talk about sex again. Pathetic when it was going well.

The English Patient: For once, I agree with Elaine that The English Patient sucked.

The Muffin Tops: Newman becomes Winston Wolf played by Harvey Keitel in Pulp Fiction while Jerry probably tries to channel what Jack Nicholson did in Wolf. Now, that makes it two "Wolf"s.

The Summer of George: What a terrible season finale. Season Nine can't come any sooner, so I can be done with the show for good.