Y List of Movie Reviews
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Y tu mamá también (2001)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/05
8/05:
Full of silly direction, Y tu mamá también features a so-so story of erotica in Mexico.
The sparse sex scenes are apparently the bread and butter, and there's nothing else. Lame are the characters. Do they
deserve the goods? No. I hate the piss-poor camera work because of the excessive drone and focus.
Because it showcased naked sexuality, one reviewer was bothered enough to say: "I
just didn't see how a film, that is nothing but talk about sex, is acclaimed when it is from Mexico, yet it would be slammed
if it were American. It is such a double standard. If this film were American, no one would have watched 15 minutes of it."
All in all, if you want to see lots of fucking in Mexico, then by all means watch Y tu mamá también.
The Yakuza (1974)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/24
2/24:
Here's an interesting box-office failure in Robert Mitchum's oeuvre: The Yakuza.
The screenplay began with Paul Schrader, which is his first ever before achieving lasting fame for
Taxi Driver and
American Gigolo, along with his brother Leonard. But it was somewhat rewritten by Robert Towne to fit
what director Sydney Pollack wanted. In the meantime, I recognized one of the Japanese actors from
Black Rain: Ken
Takakura. A big star over there, he's not in American pictures that much, but he was a good actor.
There's a culture clash among Americans, Japanese, and bushido in The Yakuza which can be slow-paced at times.
Yet the story moves in a deliberate manner. Eventually, it becomes too much because, after all, who cares about honor? I rather
keep my pinky fingers intact. Thank you very much.
Yeah, if you want to be a Yakuza, as long you're a Japanese, you get to have a colorful display of tattoos on your body.
Anyway, Robert Mitchum is fine. There's a twist I didn't see coming which concerns Ken Tanaka, Eiji, and Hanako. Maybe the
husband should've gotten over it by moving on since Harry Kilmer left town and wasn't back until many years later, hm?
See, it's the honor crap that's been screwing around with his head. On the other hand, there's an old concept, and it's
called "divorce." He should give that a try, too.
There are a couple of terrific moments when the Americans were attacked with a nice touch of cinematography. However, the
last twenty minutes is overdone. So many Yakuzas to take down for two guys...riiiiiight. However, I like the shocking
ending when Robert Mitchum cut his own pinkie to atone what he did to Ken even though he didn't have to.
All in all, I love Black Rain, but The Yakuza was there first and is a decent film
in its own way.
The Yards (2000)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
Shot in 1998 but released two years later, The Yards is a high-quality picture about corruption involving the New York City
Transit Authority with a strong ensemble cast (four Oscar wins among nineteen nominations).
I wondered why I had never heard of it before. That's because the box-office intake was about $900,000 against a budget of
$24 million. Obviously, James Gray is an outstanding filmmaker as evidenced by Little Odessa
and We Own the Night. The Gordon Willis-like cinematography proves to be a strong asset
throughout The Yards which was handled by Harris Savides who died of brain cancer in 2012 at age 55.
Joaquin Phoenix gives the best performance of his career. After seeing James Caan and Faye Dunaway on screen, I immediately
thought of anything they had done together during the 70's, and my mind went blank. Hence, this is their only film. At any rate,
they regain what made them great once upon a time with James Cann finally getting his chance to play the Godfather.
Repeating his Boogie Nights form, Mark Wahlberg is surprisingly good although he's a
terrible actor overall. Yet I don't feel sorry for his character after he turned down the chance to be a machinist after two
years of education by wanting to take a shortcut in life. As a result, the bottom falls out, and that's Willie Gutierrez's
fault for not being smart.
All in all, if you liked Sidney Lumet's films plus City Hall, The Yards should be right
up your alley.
The Year of Living Dangerously (1982)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/16
5/16:
The Year of Living Dangerously, an ambitious title, seemed like it was going to be a terrific film with
something meaningful to say, but that's not the case.
Basically, it's about Mel Gibson being adorable Mel at the peak of his physical beauty. The same can be said for Sigourney
Weaver, too. Because I love their chemistry, it should be the basis of the film. However, I've been distracted
from following the intended theme. As a result, Mel Gibson and Sigourney Weaver are miscast.
It's good thing Roland Joffé came up with The Killing Fields two years later to make up
for what The Year of Living Dangerously was supposed to be. That's why the latter is a forgotten picture. If anything,
Linda Hunt, a female mind you, won the Oscar by playing a male character which is unprecedented, and she's also the first
without revealing to anyone in the film that her character is a "she." In other words, Linda Hunt played a male character for
the sake of it.
I actually had to look up the internet about five minutes after the initial sight of Billy because of his strange facial
appearance. That being said, I wish Mel Gibson blatantly asked him, "Are you sure you have a penis? Then, let me see it."
To be honest with you, I don't think Linda Hunt deserved the win although she looks convincing as Billy Kwan the whitewashed
Indonesian dwarf. Magic appears whenever she flashes her toothy grin. But let's be real: Billy became less effective over time,
adding little value to the film.
All in all, The Year of Living Dangerously has no sense of a direction, lacks substance, and is riddled with paper-thin
characters.
Year of the Dragon (1985)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
4/07, 4/09, 6/17
4/07:
Year of the Dragon is a violent, hard-hitting, and full-of-attitude picture with a gripping story.
Mickey Rourke and John Lone are fantastic. The latter has more screen time and latitude to showcase his acting skills than
he'll be allocated for The Last Emperor. I wonder why his career never took off
afterwards. An explosive scene occurs when Stanley White was ambushed in his own house. Similarly, the restaurant scene is quite good.
All in all, Year of the Dragon is an entertaining Chinese American neo-noir picture.
4/09:
Dropping my rating from '10' to '4', I found more negatives this time around.
The last time I saw Year of the Dragon, it was gritty and tough with a great Mickey Rourke performance. But now, I don't
feel any of them. Michael Cimino's direction is poor as he lets the story play out in different cycles: Stanley White's
problems, Louis Bukowski getting in his face, and the construction of the Chinese mafia's empire.
In a way, the film reminds me of Scarface which was incidentally penned by Oliver Stone.
Both are violent and have a
lot of focus on the criminal element. Yet what's missing is plot and character development. Honestly, the performances
are fine, but there's not enough impact from Mickey Rourke.
All in all, Year of the Dragon might have been a better film if it was more ably directed.
6/17:
Watching Year of the Dragon again, I've changed my mind and now think of it as an exciting mess, but it's
a solid neo-noir picture nevertheless.
I have to say Mickey Rourke is nearly the best thing; it's his character's crusade attitude that wins me over. He seems
haunted by what happened in Vietnam and how the war was totally unwinnable, not wanting a repeat of it in Chinatown. Better
than Mickey Rourke is the violent, hard-hitting cinematography which reminds me of
Scarface. Surpisingly, most of it
was shot on a soundstage in Wilmington, North Carolina.
What's nice is, after experiencing the extreme length of The Deer Hunter and
Heaven's Gate, each scene is
tautly edited with no superfluousness. Michael Cimino even brought the film on time (well, four days late) and on budget.
Many critics ripped Ariane apart for her performance. Honestly, she's fine; in fact, Ariane is perfect as Tracy Tzu. I
can't really pinpoint the problem if there's any. Her character's apartment, which is supposed to be part of the Clock Tower Building
in New York City, is a kick-ass if I've ever seen one.
The Last Emperor's John Lone is great as well; he's such an
underrated actor. I don't understand why he didn't get much work during the 80's and 90's. The shootout battle on the train
tracks between him and Mickey Rourke underscores how violent the film is.
If there's anything I don't like or get, it's the ending. Stanley White comes charging onto the funeral procession, causing a
big mêlée and threatening to arrest the Chinese people. Trazy Tzu runs after Stanley, and they both have a laugh and embrace each
other. The end. I mean, what the hell was that all about? By the way, why is the film called Year of the Dragon? That's
for 1988 while 1985 is meant to be either Ox or Rat. Yet Wikipedia says the following which may explain Stanley White's enigmatic
personality:
"The first trine consists of the Rat, Dragon and Monkey. These three signs are said to be intense and powerful individuals
capable of great good, who make great leaders but are rather unpredictable. The three are said to be intelligent, magnanimous,
charismatic, charming, authoritative, confident, eloquent and artistic, but can be manipulative, jealous, selfish, aggressive,
vindictive or deceitful."
Perhaps it describes Mickey Rourke in a nutshell. The critics also lambasted Year of the Dragon for its heavy racism.
Once again, I fail to see it; drugs and power play a bigger role. By the way, Raymond Barry and Caroline Kava went on to
appear together as Ron Kovic's parents in Born on the Fourth of July.
All in all, Year of the Dragon is a rare colorful, splashy yet messy Chinese American neo-noir picture.
Yentl (1983)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
3/22
3/22:
A motion picture isn't going to work if I'm constantly screaming at the obvious.
That's the case with Yentl. Either Barbra Streisand must think people are stupid or she's really that stupid. Which one
is correct, I know not. I can't believe these Ashkenazi Jews, given their famously high average IQ, couldn't see it. The
problem is the casting of Barbra Streisand which negates the twist. Had she been a complete unknown like what happened with
Jaye Davidson in The Crying Game, it might have worked.
The other glaring problem is there's no story. The first half-hour is about the father who's ready to pass away. Then, Babs
decides to be a man. After that, s/he meets a Jewish idiot. Finally, the fool reveals to him that he's a "she." For a minute
there, Babs was going to reveal her breasts, but the scene quickly cuts away to something else. But Joyce Hyser did exactly
that without reservations in Just One of the Guys and therefore succeeded.
Ultimately, Yentl is a long movie which is precisely 131 unforgivable minutes. To break up the monotony, Babs takes
the time to sing a beautiful song, yet all I could think of is: should this be a music video instead? At least, the photography
is outstanding. Hence, what a surprise David Watkin wasn't recognized for it. Having handled the cinematography
work for Chariots of Fire, he went on to win the much-deserved Academy Award
for Out of Africa.
What bothers me is Yentl was released in 1983 when it felt like an early 70's picture. The truth is: Barbra Streisand
had difficulty getting it financed despite obtaining the screen rights in 1969 which was going to be her next project after
Funny Girl. Probably the biggest problem was it's too Jewish. There were also over twenty script
variations in order to make the angle work for Babs.
The acting is okay. Barbra Streisand was too old for the part (40 years old at that time). Of course, she never cut her
hair; it was a wig. What a fake actress Babs is. Mandy Patinkin plays a stupid character for a Jew. To his credit, he turned
down the role several times due to his dislike of the script, but Streisand's influence (probably sex) proved to be too strong for him.
Amy Irving is the worst and thus doesn't belong in films. She cheated on her boyfriend Steven Spielberg with, of all
people, Willie Nelson, and then they reunited and were married from 1985 to 1989. To her luck, Amy scored a cool $100
million divorce settlement thereafter.
Finally, the most damning indictment comes from the author of "Yentl the Yeshiva Boy," Isaac Bashevis Singer, when he was
asked about his thoughts on Yentl and whether he liked it or not:
"I am sorry to say I did not. I did not find artistic merit neither in the adaptation, nor in the directing. I did not think
that Miss Streisand was at her best in the part of Yentl. Miss Streisand lacked guidance. She got much, perhaps too much advice
and information from various rabbis, but rabbis cannot replace a director. The Talmudic quotations and allusions did not help.
Music and singing are not my fields. I did not find anything in her singing which reminded me of the songs in the studyhouses
and Hasidic shtibls, which were a part of my youth and environment. As a matter of fact, I never imagined Yentl singing songs.
The passion for learning and the passion for singing are not much related in my mind. There is almost no singing in my works.
One thing is sure: there was too much singing in this movie, much too much. It came from all sides. As far as I can see, the
singing did nothing to bring out Yentl's individuality and to enlighten her conduct. The very opposite, I had a feeling that
her songs drowned the action. My story, 'Yentl the Yeshiva Boy,' was in no way material for a musical, certainly not the kind
Miss Streisand has given us. Let me say: one cannot cover up with songs the shortcomings of the direction and acting.
When I read her script and saw the movie, I understood that she could not have accepted my version. In my script, Yentl does
not stay on stage from beginning to end. The leading actress must make room for others to have their say and exhibit their
talents. No matter how good you are, you don't take everything for yourself. I don't mean to say that my script was perfect,
or even good. But at least I understood that in this case the leading actress cannot monopolize the stage. We all know that
actors fight for bigger parts, but a director worth his name will not allow one actor to usurp the entire play. When an actor
is also the producer and the director and the writer, he would have to be exceedingly wise to curb his appetites. I must say
that Miss Streisand was exceedingly kind to herself. The result is that Miss Streisand is always present, while poor Yentl is
absent."
Well said, Mr. Singer.
All in all, forget Yentl; it's the pits.
Yin shi nan nu (1994)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
9/12
9/12:
Ang Lee proves in Yin shi nan nu, which is translated as Eat Drink Man Woman, why he's a good director.
Despite the marathon of cooked animals, it reminds me of
Como agua para chocolate, a more superior film due to the
perfect blend of food and love. The other one is like that, too, but on a somber note.
At the same time, great performances are rendered by everybody. The three sisters bring life to the subplots.
They somewhat mesh them together as a whole with their father finishing it off with a bow tie.
In a way, there's a suspenseful anticipation toward the end, and then comes out a twist that I didn't see coming.
It's amusing to notice the more cooking goes on, the better the film is, but nothing looks edible, no matter how
colorful they are. Of course, that's the Taiwanese culture. Even funnier is every time one of the three
sisters meets a man, she suddenly leaves the house. When the father comes to save the day at the restaurant,
there's a Goodfellas-esque element about it, especially when Ray Liotta went the
back way with Lorraine Bracco.
All in all, Eat Drink Man Woman is a sensually winning picture.
You Only Live Twice (1967)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
1/11
1/11:
The phrase of "sex object" has never been more pronounced in a James Bond film than You Only Live Twice.
It's amazing to watch the famed character to seduce one woman after another with zero feeling or care. He's such a major poon
hound. I mean, look at the movie poster. There are a total of eight women surrounding James Bond.
Meanwhile, You Only Live Twice is a dull film with nothing to offer, save for the revealed identity of Number One, the
underworld boss of the SPECTRE organizaton. But it's only Donald Pleasence. Whoopeee deee dooo...not.
The formula is exactly the same as the previous four installments: James Bond is handed the details of his assignment, travels
to another country, observes what's going on, gets into some small fights, obtains what he needs to advance, discovers the
hideout, is trapped, escapes via deus ex machina, finds himself in a tough fight with the bodyguard/number 2 man and
wins improbably, has an easy time killing the major boss, and saves the world with three seconds left while sleeping with
many beautiful women as possible.
Hey, fellas...this crap is already boring. Even sillier is when Sean Connery pulled off the Marlon Brando trick by impersonating
a Japanese. Did the filmmakers expect me to believe it? He's too big and tall to pass for one. Another fatuous moment is
when he and his Japanese female sidekick walked to the top of a volcano without food or drink. Then, she went back to seek help
and then swam across some body of water with, again, no food or water. Did they expect me to believe that, too?
Notice how the same Japanese female was made to wear a two-piece white bikini which turned out to be hmm...clean and bright the
entire time. There's an inactive, completely hollowed out volcano that starts to produce lava at the end of the film. Let me
repeat that: it's an inactive, completely hollowed out volcano that starts to produce lava at the end. Is the movie
meant to be an insult to my intelligence?
The white cat certainly looks abused. I can see his alarmed reaction to one of the explosions. On the other hand, I
lipread many actors, but the lines don't match what they're saying. Obviously, there's heavy dubbing going
on. Disappointingly, Sean Connery is lifeless as James Bond. The only good part is when Number One said to his henchman, "This
organization does not tolerate failure," and then boom...he's gone just like that. I actually like the opening credits which
is cool as always.
All in all, I can see why James Bond flicks like You Only Live Twice made great fodder for Mike Myers when he created
the Austin Powers franchise.
Young Einstein (1988)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/14
3/14:
I saw Young Einstein in 1988 when it was first theatrically released, and I don't know why I did.
I'm probably one of the rarest few who could tell you Yahoo Serious was an actual name of an actor. Sometimes, I had to
recheck the fact...just to be sure. He even tried to sue Yahoo! (a website company) for copyright infringement even though it
wasn't his real name!
Boy, Young Einstein sucks on many levels. The constant motif of the famous formula is the most tripe part. Nobody can
move past it before delving into the more interesting stuff about the famous scientist. Besides, the atomic bomb wasn't invented
that early; it was closer to 1945 because of the exigencies of World War II.
So, what happened to Yahoo Serious afterwards? Nothing much. He did two more films and then disappeared for good.
All in all, there's nothing positive to say about Young Einstein, but I encourage you to look at the movie
poster, make up your mind, and go from there.
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
11/02, 4/04, 2/24
2/24:
Talk about a perfect film because everything came together so well.
It's best to view Young Frankenstein as a mildly amusing spoof of the Universal horror classic pictures rather than an
uproariously funny comedy. If there's anything that's off-putting, it's the sex stuff, but I'll let it slide.
1974 was a brutally competitive year, so don't be surprised that Gene Wilder wasn't Oscar-nominated. He did deserve it. The
cast is impeccable as well. You can't make up Marty Feldman, who's absolutely brilliant, because his eyes were like that
for real. By the way, I didn't realize the blind man was played by Gene Hackman.
Then, there's the outstanding writing by Gene Wilder and Mel Brooks. The idea actually originated through Gene Wilder who called
the film his all-time favorite. What's remarkable is how the characters deliver their lines; it's deliberately paced with
high emphasis on certain words. Take that away, and a lot of the comedic effect would've been lost.
The third important contribution is the black-and-white cinematography, It's simply beautiful. The lighting and the interior
sets...my goodness. In fact, I've never seen it done this way in other films except for maybe
Ed Wood.
All in all, it's not out of the question that Young Frankenstein is the best movie Mel Brooks has ever made.
Young Guns (1988)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
10/03, 7/15
7/15:
Young Guns is one of the most ridiculous Western pictures made.
After seeing Emilio Estevez make a jackass out of himself and the stupid peyote dream scene, it's impossible to take anything
else seriously. The improbable outcome of the final shootout, which is reminiscent of
The Wild Bunch, has left me incredulous, making it the final nail in the coffin.
Why is the Gatling gun never used the entire time until the very end? And how is it possible for Chavez to get away despite
the house that's been heavily besieged? After the gang escapes the shootout, the army doesn't bother going after the individual
criminals.
The movie should be aptly retitled as Young Models because everybody, save for Dermot Mulroney and Casey Siemaszko,
looks too good for the period with their beautifully styled hair, evenly tanned skin, and iron-pressed clothes.
Charlie Sheen was wise by allowing his character to die early in the film to save face because his career actually
lasted longer than everybody else. I'm okay with Lou Diamond Phillips hamming it up, as evidenced by the monologue about how
his character's fictional tribe was massacred, because he knows he's that cool.
Christopher Cain, who has history of directing awful movies, does a terrific job of creating a psychotic killer out of Billy
the Kid, virtually ruining any chance of rooting for him because his actions are stupid and go against common sense.
Plus, Doc's interest in "China Girl" is never convincing which sticks out like a sore thumb. By the way, the
actor who plays Pat Garrett, who's famous for killing the real Billy the Kid, is John Wayne's son Patrick.
All in all, everybody tries to look cool and do too much in Young Models, making it a terrible addition to the Western
genre.
The Young Lions (1958)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/14
8/14:
Which is worse: Brando's blond dye job or his sensitive portrayal of a sympathetic Nazi?
I've not seen a war picture this atrociously bad since Beach Red. The Young Lions?
Ha! They're hardly that. Maximilian Schell was 28, Marlon Brando 34, Montgomery Clift 38, and Dean Martin 41 when the film was made.
Brando is wasted given the fact that his character has so much potential but isn't well-developed. Montgomery, who looks brain
damaged, did this before in From Here to Eternity. Dean is absolutely miscast
and therefore looks all wrong.
Maximilian plays a German character as he always does in almost every Nazi picture ever made. I'm only surprised he
didn't speak German this time. On the whole, it's safe to say they've been outperformed by the females.
The romance subplot between Marlon Brando and May Britt shows promise but fails to materialize. What's annoying
is there's no sense of a plot. It's just a pointless movie, clocking at nearly three hours, with many
interminable scenes. Director Edward Dmytryk should've cut out the Americans and kept the film strictly German by focusing
solely on Christian Diestl. This way, Brando might have scored another Oscar nomination, but I have to be reminded of the
hammy scene of him and Schell on the scooter in front of the traveling matte as if it's Days of Our WWII Lives.
All in all, The Young Lions is one of the worst war pictures I've ever seen.
The Young Savages (1961)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
Hey, I like Burt Lancaster, but this is so ridiculous.
The Young Savages is the most liberal piece of shit I've seen in my life. The introduction showed three males killing
a blind boy. That's it...it's an open-and-shut case. There's nothing else to talk about. Excuses, motives, bad childhood years,
low IQ, irrelevant lines of questioning, etc., have virtually no meaning here. Produce the witnesses and the weapons in court,
and point out the killers. That's it. Takes a half-day to be done with the whole thing once and for all.
But noooo...Burt, the worst prosecutor ever in cinema history who should've worn a sign that says "Hey, I work for the defense,
not the state," just wants to get to the truth. The truth...the truth...arrrrrrggghhhh. Okay, here it is: these kids are animals
and need to be put down. Even my cats behave better than them. By the way, does his boss look like the spitting image of Nelson
Rockefeller? He would be the last governor ever to carry out the death penalty in the state of New York. At least, he died of a
heart attack while fucking his mistress. Now, that's what I call funny!
The Young Savages has high production values, but it's a mistake to show the murder; just let that be described orally during
the trial. I applaud filmmakers for getting authentic people from minority groups. Best of all is the avant-garde black-and-white
photography. The film is notable for Telly Savalas' first on-screen appearance.
As one of the three killers, John Davis Chandler could've played Peter Lorre in a biopic for all I know.
Interestingly enough, Neil Nephew, who has the role of a low IQ kid, used to be married to Ellen McRae, having raped her once. He
stalked her so badly that they divorced. He committed suicide six years afterwards. Neil actually had schizophrenia. It was during
this marriage that Ellen McRae changed her name to Ellen Burstyn. Oddly, Neil also did the same for himself.
Here's a fun fact. This is the film that Sydney Pollack got noticed by Burt Lancaster. As a dialogue coach, he worked with Shelley
Winters and various young stars to rehearse for their roles. After liking what Sydney Pollack did, Burt Lancaster told him that he
should become a director, and he would go on to do many films such as
They Shoot Horses, Don't They?,
Tootsie, and Out of Africa.
All in all, The Young Savages might look good on paper, but it's a very manipulative film.
Youngblood (1986)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/10
6/10:
Uh...that wasn't a hockey film I saw in Youngblood.
It's more of a steel cage wrestling match on ice. The editing is terrible because all I saw is a fleeting series of
images but there's nothing concrete about them. Hence, it fails to shape up as a hockey movie that's always bordering between
bad humor and corny moments.
Uh, the movie poster of buff-looking Rob Lowe...let me ask this: was his face transplanted on somebody else's body?
Anyway, I can't see him playing the sport for real, but Patrick Swayze...yeah, he's believable. Save for
him, everybody move too slow on the ice rink, and the action isn't interesting. There's a whole lot of fighting for no reason.
All in all, Youngblood isn't what hockey is about.