D List of Movie Reviews
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D.O.A. (1949)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
9/14, 1/25
9/14:
If there's an automatic must-see film noir, it's D.O.A. with Edmond O'Brien.
Rudolph Maté keeps me at the edge of my seat because of the gripping irony. Quite simply, there's
nothing like D.O.A. because it's a ticking-time type of film.
The plot is about a dying man who's in search of the man who poisoned him. It's also sad because of his girlfriend
being in the dark about what's happening to him. By the way, Neville Brand's character is annoying; it's
obvious he copied off Richard Widmark's character Tommy Udo from
Kiss of Death.
All in all, D.O.A. is a 83-minute film noir cliffhanger that never lets down from the get-go.
1/25:
I'm moving D.O.A. up to the top five of film noir greats as it's on the same level as
Kiss Me Deadly, Lady in the Lake,
and The Big Sleep but better.
Shot on location in San Francisco and Los Angeles, it's a brilliant movie, one of the rarest with a strong start
and a strong finish. The gist of the story goes like this: "Frank Bigelow, told he's been poisoned and has
only a few days to live, tries to find out who killed him and why." If that's not compelling enough, then
nothing else is.
It's the best performance of Edmond O'Brien's career. I know he's been terrific in others, but this is
as fantastic as it gets, beginning with his long walk in the hallway to enter Homicide Division office.
What a shot by Ernest Laszlo. Out of the blue, there is the man who's the cause of his death, and
he's finally shot dead at the Bradbury Building that'll be prominently shown in countless pictures such as
Chinatown and Wolf.
It's too bad about Paula, Bigelow's secretary. By the way, that's not Gloria Grahame but Pamela Britton.
Yeah, they look quite alike, right down to their thinnish upper lip. There are tough guys in the background with
Neville Brand making the most impression for the first time ever. Of course, he'll be spotted in plenty of
noir pictures. The writing is supreme with several chilling exchanges such as:
-"Can I help you?"
-"I'd like to see the man in charge."
-"In here."
-"I want to report a murder."
-"Sit down."
-"Where was this murder committed?"
-"San Francisco, last night."
-"Who was murdered?"
-"I was."
-"Don't you know how you got it? This is no accident, somebody knew how to handle that stuff.
That wax is tasteless and odorless. From the amount of alcohol in your body, you must have got it in liquor."
-"I was drinking last night."
-"Arrange for your admission to the hospital immediately. Of course, I'll have to notify the police.
This is a case for Homicide."
-"Homicide?"
-"I don't think you fully understand, Bigelow. You've been murdered."
-"How shall I make out the report on him, Captain?"
-"Better make it 'Dead on Arrival.'"
In case if you are confused by the storyline and I don't blame you there because it's actually complicated,
the following is what happened:
Eugene Phillips was cheated on by his wife with Halliday, and the men had a physical fight with Eugene being thrown
over the balcony to his death. Months earlier, Eugene bought iridium from George Reynolds aka Raymond Rakubian,
and Frank Bigelow notarized the bill of sale. Remember it's two separate events that somehow got merged
into one. Hence, Eugene was facing criminal charges over
the illegal sale of iridium, and his wife and Halliday used that as a pretext for Eugene's suicide.
However, Bigelow had the proof in his ledger that would clear Eugene's wrongdoing. The whole time, he thought
it was the secretary, Miss Foster, who conspired with Halliday. Therefore, he came close in solving the mystery.
Eugene's brother Stanley accused the wife as confirmed by the love letter produced by Miss Foster.
Therefore, both the wife and Halliday poisoned Stanley in the same manner as how Bigelow was in an attempt to
cover their tracks. Majak appeared because he needed to escape unscathed for stealing the iridium.
All in all, D.O.A. is a masterpiece.
D.O.A. (1988)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/12
11/12:
Curious to know where they shot the 1988 version of D.O.A., I saw the closing credits mention "filmed on location
in Austin, Texas."
That's not true. It was partly done in San Marcos, Texas. I know this for sure because there's a scene that includes a
cylindrical-bricked building that's surrounded by a moat. It currently houses the Department of Theatre and Dance which is
located at Texas State University (formerly Southwest Texas State University).
It would have been nice if the filmmakers showed more of San Marcos, especially the river. Oh, well. Back to D.O.A.,
it sucks. The story is ridiculous. Perhaps there was a power struggle between two directors, resulting in a chaotic
film.
Meg Ryan proves, again and again, she can't act. Dennis Quaid should have found something else to work on. Daniel Stern's
presence (or absence) gives the plot away, and I knew what was going to happen because that's the only plausible logic I
could think of.
All in all, D.O.A. is literally dead on arrival.
The Da Vinci Code (2006)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/22
2/22:
The Da Vinci Code is an underwhelming mystery thriller about some religion conspiracy.
I'll save you the suspense and therefore two and half hours of your time: (1) Mary Magdalene is Jesus Christ's wife, not his
mother; and (2) The female lead is the last living descendent of Jesus Christ. Oh, wow...oh my gosh...I'm putting my hands
on my forehead while hyperventilating. Not.
I had seen Leonardo da Vinci's painting The Last Supper many times and always knew there was a woman on it. Therefore,
I'm supposed to be taken back by the revelation in the film? Uh, okay. By the way, "da Vinci" isn't a surname but
the name of a town the painter hailed from.
The story about Mary Magdalene isn't new, having been covered in an 1982 fiction book called
The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail. In fact, Dan Brown, the author of The Da Vinci Code, was unsuccessfully
sued for plagiarism, but the high number of similarities are still unmistakable.
Despite the popular belief, Isaac Newton, as I'm familiar with his mathematics achievements, didn't invent calculus. He's
also famous for the apocryphal story involving an apple. Hence, I was thinking of that word for the cryptex. Of course, it
turned out to be correct. That's zero suspense right there, but it took so long for the movie to get around
unlocking the damn thing.
The trouble with director Ron Howard is that he has no vision. Steven Spielberg in his prime would have done a better job. Hell, he
made Raiders of the Lost Ark and
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, both having been there first before
The Da Vinci Code ever showed up. It's the same plot structure. Some well-known locations are faked because
the filmmakers were initially refused permission to shoot there so they had to do a workaround by constructing their own.
Now, what's with Tom Hanks' hair? It looks like a dead animal that's attached to his scalp. I remember seeing it
during the late 90's or so when he was trying to imitate Pulp Fiction's Vincent Vega's look. Copying off Richard
Burton or Nicolas Cage may not be out of question, too. Anyway, Tom Hanks sleepwalks through the role of Robert Langdon and is
more of a listener than anything.
With the exception of Ian McKellen who gives an above average performance, the rest of the cast isn't better. Even Alfred
Molina is in this, the same guy who was there during the introduction of Indiana Jones in
Raiders of the Lost Ark. Talk about redundancy. Paul Bettany is too weird; they should have gotten a real albino.
The success of The Da Vinci Code is contingent on whether or not I believe in Christianity. Well, I know for a
fact the real Jesus Christ never existed. There goes the whole shebang. Here's the thing: I'm interested when
it comes to him having been documented around the year of 0. The problem is that the Romans kept extensive records on
everybody but there's been nothing on Jesus Christ.
Some while ago, somebody examined 126 historical texts that were published from the first to third centuries and therefore found little to no
mention of Jesus Christ which is surprising given how famous he is today. The only reason why the fledging religion
Christianity survived is that, after a few centuries, the Romans decided to adopt it as state religion solely for political
purposes, not faith. Today, I consider all religions to be nothing but the greatest fraud ever perpetuated on mankind. Why?
It's about making a shitload of money and welding power over people.
When the authors finally started to document Jesus' life, it happened more than forty years after his death, and the written
accounts were based on what the people supposedly remembered about him. Currently, there are no extant originals but copies
of copies of copies of what they wrote. Hence, the bible has been re-edited so many times with a lot of stuff added afterwards,
hence the rise of over 40,000 denominations with each having a different interpretation of Christianity. The fallacy is the
first unaltered copy was supposed to be the true word of God, no matter what. Coming from the lower class, the early
followers of Christianity were, for the most part, uneducated, unskilled, and illiterate. Now, recall the painting by da Vinci
which was done during the late 15th century. How would he know what happened 2,000 years ago? All religious artworks are like
that as well.
All in all, thanks to the extensive marketing campaign, The Da Vinci Code got overhyped to death, and millions of suckers
bought into it.
Dakota (1988)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
4/20
4/20:
Dakota is a nice, harmless "community-building" movie, but it's too small to make an impact.
The main attraction is Lou Diamond Phillips. He oozes talent and makes his character work; because of him, it's a
watchable movie. The rest of the cast is okay, but it's the most of what they're capable of.
Random events happen. One of them is the introduction of the "Great American Race," a
Cannonball Run type of
race involving antique vehicles which must be at least 45 years old and be driven at the speed limit
while passing a series of checkpoints at correct, but not the fastest, times. The other is the pretty sight of
Enchanted Rock State Natural Area that's located near Fredericksburg, Texas.
All in all, Dakota is strictly for Lou Diamond Phillips fans.
Dallas Buyers Club (2013)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
8/14
8/14:
I've said this before that Matthew McConaughey is a talented actor.
For Dallas Buyers Club, he scored an Oscar. However, it's not a great performance as advertised; it's rather ordinary.
Apparently, Matthew McConaughey sacrificed around ten to fifteen years of his life by taking the Christian Bale route in terms
of drastic weight loss, which is fifty pounds in four months, for the precious but worthless trophy.
If it's how Hollywood will reward these thespians, then I guess acting as I know it is dead. In all honesty, Matthew
McConaughey looks ghastly...like death on a stick. I was rather concerned for his heath than interested in his performance.
On the other hand, Jared Leto, who's talented and also lost forty pounds, is somewhat better than his co-star,
but his character isn't memorable. In fact, he was much better in
Requiem for a Dream, convincing me that he could be a solid, serious actor.
As for the story, I find it extreme and unbelievable. I can't sympathize with either of the characters. Perhaps if they would
stop drinking, abusing illegal drugs, and engaging in reckless unsafe sex so much, I might believe in the efficacy of their
radical treatments. So, no...I'm not convinced, and of course, like all Hollywood films, the truth is rather distorted.
The camera work is sometimes atrocious and unprofessionally handled. Most of the shots should be moved farther back, so
I can see more of the ambience. The first hour is bad, but the second is slightly improved. All the
mistakes committed here have been the reasons why I rarely view anything made after the year of 2000.
All in all, Dallas Buyers Club is nothing special, and the two Oscar-winning performances by Matthew McConaughey and
Jared Leto are average.
Damage (1992)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
3/08, 4/09
3/08:
Damage is a powerful film that's based on emotions and makes for a superb viewing yet has several glaring flaws.
Although it's advertised as an "erotic thriller," Damage is neither erotic nor sexy as I hoped for, but it has
compensations on the side. One of them is the across-the-board terrific acting, especially from Jeremy Irons, Miranda
Richardson (who received a Best Supporting Actress Oscar nomination), Rupert Graves (who happens to be a clone of Johnny Depp),
and Leslie Caron.
I had been harsh on Juliette Binoche in my reviews of her other films for showing poor acting skills, but this time,
she does well. However, I think Juliette could do better, being along the same lines of Mickey Rourke's
John from 9½ Weeks due to his mysteriousness which added a dimension to the film. This aspect is
crucial to the overall story; thence, Juliette Binoche's failure to take advantage of it undermines the believability of the
tension. In short, her character isn't paradoxical enough. Yet I'm impressed with her because of the innocence
she brings to the table which does attract men from the upper echelon.
Jeremy Irons is wonderful. The unfeeling, stoic-like existence that he maintained for his character is realistic because
of the demands placed on him through work and family. Maybe I should conclude Louis Malle has a keen eye for detail
which permeates every scene whether it be cinematography, acting, or the in/exterior settings.
Another treat is the absence of flashy camera style. Louis Malle's trademark is to tell a story straightforward while
letting the thespians do the work. What's impressive is how the messages are subtly conveyed and, as the events
unfold, how real the consequences of an extramarital affair are, hence the title Damage. Meanwhile, one major mistake is the
inclusion of a (disabled?) boy midway. Instead of adding him, why not develop the daughter more?
All in all, Damage is an exquisitely made picture.
4/09:
Damage still holds up.
What I love about it is Louis Malle bringing the best out of many aspects: plot, acting, fashion, setting, and cinematography.
The first time, I liked Miranda Richardson as the wife of the Minister, and now, her performance is even better. I love how
each scene ends with a fadeout.
There are a couple that have left me dismayed. One is it's not a sexy movie along the lines of
9½ Weeks. Two is the unconvincing chemistry between Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche.
All in all, Damage is Louis Malle at his best.
Damaged Care (2002)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
5/20
5/20:
Here's a film that touches an important topic: health care, and it's called Damaged Care.
The story is about Dr. Linda Peeno who decided to be a whistleblower against the American managed healthcare
industry that's more interested in profits than saving lives through rubber-stamped denials. If it sounds like
The Rainmaker, yep...it does, but this time, I'm able to see what's
happening on the other side. Facing Congress on May 30, 1996, Dr. Peeno made a confession:
"In the spring of 1987, as a physician, I denied a man a necessary operation that would have saved his life and
thus caused his death. No person and no group has held me accountable for this because, in fact, what I did was
I saved the company a half a million dollars for this. And furthermore, this particular act secured my reputation
as a good medical director, and it ensured my advancement in the health care industry—in little more than
a year, I went from making a few hundred dollars per week to an annual six-figure income."
If it sounds compelling, the film is even more so. It's also personal because Dr. Peeno shares the story of what
happened with her family, especially when she was cheated on by her husband in the midst of this. Despite
all, Dr. Peeno is a hero by risking everything she worked for and went against the grain because it felt morally
right. Her crusade is also an example why people shouldn't look at data only but go beyond them to understand
the full story.
Had Damaged Care been theatrically released, Laura Dern would have received an Oscar nomination. It may
be the best performance of her career that's both touching and believable. I've quit plenty of jobs that paid
very good money because I didn't agree with a lot of things I witnessed. So, seeing her character resign from
high level jobs in the name of principle is refreshing.
All in all, it's too bad that Damaged Care is an obscure movie because it does have a lot to say about
corruption in the HMO system.
Damien: Omen II (1978)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
10/04, 10/07
10/07:
Just as I thought so.
There's nothing to learn from Damien: Omen II. Basically, the film serves as a continuity for the series and is
therefore a pointless sequel. All I got out of it is an annoying pipsqueak who could never scare me and a bunch of
horrible characters whom I couldn't care less if they died.
I feel Richard Thorn knew from the beginning that Damien was the son of the devil but was too vain to admit it. Other than
cashing in, I don't understand why the sequel was made in the first place when everything a viewer needed to
know was contained in the original.
In the first part, Lee Remick starred. In the second part, it was Lee Grant's turn. Who's next for the third part: Harper Lee?
The script is predictable, revealing nothing new. I'm being told constantly that Damien is a perfect specimen with no health
issues. But when Mark was killed and Damien let out a scream afterwards, well, well...did I see a cavity back in there among
his teeth? So much for the "perfect kid" theory.
I know the second wife of Richard Thorn is a follower of the Antichrist, but does it have to be obvious?
Anyway, William Holden was a great actor, but what the hell is he doing in this? Why does Joan Hart, after being attacked by a
crow, wander to the middle of the road in spite of hearing the moving vehicles? It's indicative of how stupid the film is.
Normally, when somebody attempts to stab a child with fancy daggers, the police will confiscate and store them away
forever. So, how did Bugenhagen get the weapons back quickly? On the other hand, the oddest scene has to be the
fight between Damien and Chris Penn. I mean, what was that all about? When Damien was answering questions in relation to the
historical dates, I felt like wanting to meet a schmuck with the same ability and ask him how much time he wasted learning
this useless skill. Maybe Damien should use his evil powers to topple Alex Trebek from his perch to take over Jeopardy!
It's boring when somebody finds out Damien is an evil freak and therefore feels compelled to kill him. Then, the race
is on in terms of how badly the characters are killed and in what manner. Meanwhile, I don't buy for one second
Damien didn't know what he was until now because he had plenty of hints a long ago.
All in all, Damien: Omen II is a remake of the original film with the director going, "Oh, William. Will you
take over Gregory's role? Oh, Ms. Remick...excuse me, Ms. Grant, will you blah, blah, blah..."
Dances With Wolves (1990)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
2/04, 4/08
4/08:
Dances With Wolves is what I think of Kevin Costner.
It's the best film he has ever made. What I love about it is the simplicity that's left open for translation. There are
certain scenes that are ambivalent. One good example is when Lieutenant John Dunbar went to his superior for an assignment in
the Western frontier and then left him before the superior shot himself in the head. Why, and who knows?
The best part is Dunbar immersing himself into the Sioux culture. Near the end, his fellow soldiers show up. Dunbar takes
his place among them, but he looks out of place. Hence, it's the key moment of the film which is about human
acceptance without bias.
Whatever the stereotypes had been made about American Indians in past films, Dances With Wolves throws them all out of
the window just like how Clint Eastwood did for
Unforgiven when it comes to misconceptions about the Wild West.
On the other hand, the acting is exceptional. Mary McDonnell doesn't get enough of credit as Stands With A Fist.
Rodney Grant is remarkable as Wind In His Hair, and Wes Studi of The Last of the Mohicans fame has a small appearance.
Not to be missed is the lush cinematography. The buffalo hunt scene is terrific. My favorite moment,
which feels random, is at the beginning when Dunbar attempted suicide by riding in front of the rebels.
All in all, Dances With Wolves is among best pictures of the decade.
Dangerous Game (1993)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
3/20
3/20:
Saddled with weak acting and a horrendous screenplay, Dangerous Game, aka Snake Eyes, is a low
point in misogynism.
I'm not sure what the critics were thinking when they gave it rave reviews. They must have loved seeing Madonna
beaten up and raped on all fours. By the way, what was her incentive to do it?
It also sucks to see Eddie Israel's wife finding out her father died, flying out for the funeral, and, once there,
being told by her husband that he cheated on her with many women during their marriage. What an inappropriate time
to do it. The scene becomes ugly when the wife, who's played by Nancy Ferrara in her only role of substance, lashed
out on him.
Prior to that, Eddie tried to work things out with his two thespians by conveying what he was looking for in
order to get their characters across. Want to know why he wasn't successful? It's because Madonna and James Russo
can't act. They're awful in Dangerous Game and the movie within it. If Madonna had an acting lesson in
her life, well...she never paid attention.
On the other hand, Harvey Keitel is in top form, and he's the only one of the cast with any talent. However, he's
regurgitating some of the same angst from Bad Lieutenant. The best scene
is the way he handled his volatile actor in the trailer. It's when the movie started to click but only for a
brief time.
All in all, Dangerous Game combines the worst of cinema: nonsensical dialogue, Abel Ferrara, misogynism,
rape, and Madonna.
Dangerous Liaisons (1988)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
12/02, 6/03, 2/06, 1/09, 6/15, 2/18
2/06:
Although Dangerous Liaisons is hurt by weak chemistry among the cast, I'm won over by the marvelous screenplay
and elegant display of 18th century European fashion.
John Malkovich is incredible because of the way he speaks, moves, and behaves as Vicomte de Valmont. His co-star Glenn Close
is excellent as Marquise de Merteuil.
However, I'm not altogether convinced by the rest of the cast which includes Michelle
Pfeiffer, Keanu Reeves, Peter Capaldi, Uma Thurman, and Swoosie Kurtz because they don't blend in well with the environs,
leading me to conclude that I need to read the book to grasp the characters more.
All in all, John Malkovich steals the show in Dangerous Liaisons.
1/09:
Making good on my promise to read Les Liaisons dangereuses, I decided to watch Dangerous Liaisons again to
see how well it holds up against the book.
A winning aspect is the cast which seems to be perfect since they all fit the characters so well that when I read the book,
they were whom I imagined to be. However, the longer the film goes on, the more I realize it isn't a masterpiece.
First, director Stephen Frears places a lot of focus on the wanton affairs although they aren't the point of the book because
author Choderlos de Laclos was trying to convey the feeling of how silly the whole deal was. In the film, I didn't sense it.
Second, the dialogue sounds weak and silly as compared to what was spoken in France during the 18th century. However, I like
Valmont's mantra "It's beyond my control" instead of "It's not my fault."
Third, although John Malkovich meets the requirement of his character and is the main show, I'm disappointed he's limited by
what he could do with Valmont. It's too bad that Stephen Frears was myopic about it which is perhaps beyond his control, hee hee.
Fourth, the costumes and the interior sets look great, but there isn't much of variation for the exteriors. It's only the
front of some houses and in the back where the gardens are. Well, that's not good enough, and I want to see more. Spend the
money, dammit.
Fifth, all I saw is a chain of ideas but no development of subplots or characters' conflicts. Frears presumes I should
know them already before the scenes will be played out. It's the chief reason why the film fails as a whole because some parts
can be confusing by going off the track. When I read the book, what was happening made sense because there was a slow,
deliberate buildup to the conflicts that would have impact.
Sixth, the relationship between Cecile Volanges and Chevalier Danceny is weak because I'm supposed to believe
they're infatuated with each other. The same goes with Valmont and Tourvel, but in the book (which is, I admit, the hardest
to capture in terms of feelings and emotions because it happened slowly given how apprehensive Tourvel was), it wasn't supposed
to be convincing in an obvious way.
At the end of the movie, Valmont is shown, at the hour of his death, passing on a set of letters to Danceny, so he can finally
win over Merteuil; what could possibly be in them if she had already said the words? Now, I'm becoming like Valmont by
saying, "I know...you told me already. My, my. You are so positively boring."
By the way, Glenn Close is great just like John Malkovich. Michelle Pfeiffer gives one of the better performances of her
career although I've always regarded her as a poor actress which is probably beyond her control.
All in all, I wish Dangerous Liaisons was three hours long to allow more time for proper development of the
subplots, conflicts, and characters.
6/15:
I've now decided to give Dangerous Liaisons a '10' and think I was harsh by comparing it to the book.
The screenplay is probably one of the top ten ever. Listening to the dialogue has been a satisfying experience, so that's why
Christopher Hampton won the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay. Also, the costume design and the in/exterior sets are
outstanding, scoring Oscar wins in both categories.
John Malkovich, the star of the show, is perfect as Vicomte de Valmont. He's whom I pictured while reading the book.
His performance as the notorious rake is the sole reason why I continue to revisit the movie many times.
All in all, John Malkovich has never been any better as he was in Dangerous Liaisons.
2/18:
John Malkovich gives the best performance of his career in Dangerous Liaisons.
He's never been this deliciously bad. What a surprise that John Malkovich wasn't given an Oscar nomination. Instead, it went to
Glenn Close and Michelle Pfeiffer. But let's be real: who made Dangerous Liaisons as the film it is? That's right: John
Malkovich. Also, the screenplay is among the top ten ever written.
All in all, it's impossible to deny the power of John Malkovich's performance in Dangerous Liaisons.
Dangerous Touch (1994)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/10
9/10:
Correct me if my theory seems farfetched.
Beginning in 1987, Julie Cypher was married to Lou Diamond Phillips, and they stayed together for measly three
years before filing for divorce. Thereafter, she entered a lesbian relationship with Melissa Etheridge.
Feeling hurt by having been left for a woman, Lou Diamond Phillips decided to direct a personal statement film
that he still had the libido and that he was capable of pleasuring a woman. The result was Dangerous Touch.
Am I right, Lou?
Anyway, Dangerous Touch is a soft porn flick about (who else) Lou Diamond Phillips getting it on hot and
heavy with two naked women either separately or at once. Somewhere, there's a plot going on, but I don't think
he cares about it; see...it's about showing off his libido. At any rate, the ending doesn't work.
As bleak as the description sounds, the film is passably entertaining and might have worked out more if
it was shot during the mid 80's because Lou Diamond Phillips was a mysterious-looking guy back then. For whatever
it's worth, he scored a Penthouse model for his second marriage, but they divorced in 2007.
All in all, Dangerous Touch is the apogee of Lou Diamond Phillips' narcissism.
Dante's Peak (1997)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
1/14
1/14:
I once taught a class about volcanoes for two weeks, so naturally enough, I found many things wrong with Dante's Peak.
Although there are consistencies in regard to volcano facts, the movie gives up on them midway to begin spouting
misconceptions. Shame on Roger Donaldson who entertained thoughts of becoming a volcanologist before bolting for Hollywood.
It showcases a multitude of impossible physics including using a shirt-covered arm to paddle through the acidic water without
suffering from burns, outdriving (with no tires) a pyroclastic flow that's moving 450 miles per hour, ramming through a
boarded-up mine shaft, driving over a lava stream without testing it (the temperature must have been 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit
which is hot enough to melt steel), seeing lights everywhere after the volcano eruption, evacuating a town safely within minutes,
and getting everybody out of the mine shaft with all of them looking good, healthy, and virile with white teeth.
I guess nobody peed or crapped in their pants while waiting for the rescuers. It's cool when the truck was towed just like that
and nobody thought the rocks underneath it would collapse. On the other hand, the romantic relationship between the two lead
characters is unnecessary and deviates from what's happening. Moreover, it's not critical to save the kids when it's clear
they're going to die after reaching the point of no return.
Nevertheless, the movie can be entertaining and thrilling at times although it's amusing to see the references being made to
Dante's Peak when in fact it's Mount St. Helens. My favorite part, which is the most ridiculous,
occurs at the beginning when a man carried the heavy wood cross as if he's Jesus Christ.
All in all, while it's hard to ignore the factual errors, Dante's Peak isn't a bad disaster film although can be
hokey sometimes.
Dark Blue (2002)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/17
1/17:
Showing similar themes, I like Dark Blue more than Training Day.
It's Kurt Russell's show, and he's fantastic although in a loopy way. This is something different for him who
doesn't get enough chances to do a serious drama picture. Everybody else is more or less okay.
The story is well-conceived, and I like the tie-in with the Rodney King beating and the aftermath post-verdict to make the movie
more interesting. The setting was supposed to take place during the middle of the 60's Watts Riots, but honestly, nobody
remembers it. So, it's a good move on the filmmakers' part to switch to the other one that's more fresh and recent.
Ron Shelton is a sports guy, having directed
Bull Durham, White Men Can't Jump, Cobb,
Tin Cup,
and Play It to the Bone and written the screenplay for
The Best of Times and Blue Chips.
Hence, I'm surprised he decided to take the Sidney Lumet route by tackling the subject of police corruption.
On the other hand, the film has made me question how much police corruption exists for real nowadays.
All in all, rarely given accolades, Kurt Russell remains an underrated actor.
Dark City (1998)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/03, 7/04, 2/25
2/25:
Dark City has always deserved '1'.
It's an all-time bad movie. None of the concepts is original as they're rip-offs from
Total Recall,
Invasion of the Body Snatchers,
The Truman Show, Blade Runner, and
Hellraiser with a faux neo-noir look. Alternate reality? That's Philip
K. Dick stuff. I would've been okay with it had the writing been more sensible and the editing
normal, but neither happened.
There's a minute or two to explain what the whole thing is all about, and the rest of it is just pure
rubbish in a city that's constantly empty sans the traffic. On the other hand, the editing is awful, and I can't
believe it was done by Dov Hoenig because he did Heat,
The Fugitive,
The Last of the Mohicans, and
Manhunter. Every sequence of shots is 70% complete before moving on
to the next one, making it hard for me to absorb Dark City as a whole. Unsurprisingly, he did one more
film before retiring.
I think the special effects caused people to overrate Dark City like how it happened with
The Matrix. But that alone can't be enough. Nearly no film ever makes it
without a good script. Once this is established, there's no hope anymore, regardless of how beautiful the
cinematography is or how dazzling the special effects are.
If there's a textbook definition of thespians mailing their performances in, this is it. Watch how little
Rufus Sewell changes it up. Jennifer Connelly has always been the same since the start of her acting career.
William Hurt's days of being A-list actor ceased during the late 80's. Kiefer Sutherland tries but ends up looking
ridiculously miscast, and he attempts to achieve some "depth" with his partially covered eye. To his credit,
he thought the script was sent to him by mistake, thinking it was meant for his father.
All in all, Invasion of the Body Snatchers and
Blade Runner had already been there first, so why must there be
Dark City?
The Dark Half (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/16
11/16:
Mostly shot on location in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, The Dark Half is a nice little horror movie with an interesting
story and great acting.
Timothy Hutton is the one who makes the premise work, and he does a great job of playing two different characters. I can't
even recognize his doppelgänger. Amy Madigan is okay, but she's miscast for the most part and rarely blends in well
on screen. Michael Rooker is excellent, giving a sound performance.
The special effects with the birds are better than
The Birds. According to IMDb: "In total, 4,500 cut-throat finches
were used for the sparrows in the film. The birds would consume 100 pounds of birdseed and 15 gallons of water on a daily basis
during the production."
Although the story is absorbing, the ending is a disappointment. It feels like a lazy, cheap escape to wrap up
the show. Made in 1991, The Dark Half wouldn't be released for two years due to Orion's bankruptcy problems. By the way,
the car is a 1966 Oldsmobile Toronado.
All in all, The Dark Half is decent for a Stephen King picture.
Dark Harbor (1998)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/25
4/25:
Implausible?
That's what I was thinking the entire time until the last five minutes of Dark Harbor. Why would a
couple be perfectly okay with helping out an evil-looking drifter lying on the side of a road
and having him at their home? What's the...catch?
Finally, I figured it out with about twenty minutes left. When the husband explained how he caught his wife
doing this stupid shade stunt, I immediately sensed that he was laying a trap on her. The ending would explain
everything after all, but it's so pointless to sit through 95% of nothing, hence my rating of '4'. A couple
of things to clear up the mystery: the goal of the wife to write down what the illiterate drifter said became
her suicide note and the whole scheme was to inherit everything she owned afterwards.
Unsurprisingly, it's the final picture directed by Adam Coleman Howard who happens to be the grandson of Ann
Landers. It must be nice to have connections, especially when it comes to getting esteemed thespians to star in
two shitty pictures of his with the other being Dead Girl which is about fucking a corpse (Val Kilmer was
part of the cast if you can believe that).
The only reason to see Dark Harbor is Alan Rickman who gets to stretch himself a bit, especially at the
end. However, don't be misled by the movie poster; it won't be anything like that. Polly Walker isn't bad but is
obviously too young to be his character's lover. They're twenty years apart in age. Norman Reedus is slightly
annoying in an Edward Furlong way. Somebody should've asked him, "Uh...what happened to your eye?"
All in all, the twist at the end of Dark Harbor isn't enough to make up for the frustration of sitting
through the boredom of watching three thespians putting on a long show of no substance.
Dark Passage (1947)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/15
6/15:
The only film noir I've seen that was shot in first person point of view is
Lady in the Lake with Robert Montgomery.
Dark Passage can be safely added to this list although it's not 100% done this way. Humphrey Bogart
would appear in front of the camera about an hour into it which seems like a mistake because the film went downhill thereafter.
He and Lauren Bacall made four pictures together.
To Have and Have Not is the best they had done due to their inimitable chemistry.
Humphrey Bogart is less than effective here. He's showing his age a great deal while looking more worn down than before. Lauren
Bacall wrote in her autobiography By Myself that her husband was losing his hair throughout the production due to vitamin
deficiencies, hence the toupee for the first time ever. On the other hand, her greatness began and ended with
To Have and Have Not. She's a terrible actress who played herself repeatedly. Agnes Moorehead is wasted as her character
will jump out of the window.
Dark Passage is high in film noir during the first half, but it tapers off afterwards along with the overwrought
and ridiculous story. The ending is stupid. It's a mistake to reintroduce the motorist to try to make things more interesting.
What's his motivation for helping out the convicted murderer? Wherever the guy goes, everybody is highly suspicious of him
which is unrealistic. Also, he keeps leaving his fingerprints behind every scene for various crimes. Regardless, I wasn't
rooting for him the entire time, but the San Francisco scenery is a nice touch.
All in all, the first-person-point-of-view technique may be keen for Dark Passage, but let's be real: everybody
wants to see Humphrey Bogart in the flesh.
Dark Waters (2019)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
1/22
1/22:
As serious as the topic is for Dark Waters, I already saw
A Civil Action which starred John Travolta.
The story is the same. Regardless, I learned new things. John Travolta gave a great performance while Mark Ruffalo
is unbelievably dour. I didn't recognize the latter at first. Tim Robbins is even more so. My trouble with their
ageless characters is how corporate-ish and unlikeable they are. Playing the wife, Anne Hathaway is bad as well.
While cold-watching Dark Waters, I was aware of the director's past work when I saw his name in the opening
credits, so I knew what to expect. Yet it shouldn't be this long and boring. I hate the opening scene which serves
as an homage to Jaws because for the longest time I wondered what happened to the
swimmers.
To shorten the running length, they should've removed all scenes between the lawyer and his family; they serve no
purpose. Otherwise, I'm having flashbacks of "Dammit! It's about me" wife from
The Insider. To make matters worse, I've
had a hard time seeing through the ridiculous darkness.
All in all, Dark Waters is interesting, but the filmmakers need to speed it up.
Darkman (1990)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/04, 2/16
2/16:
Personally, I'm not a fan of comic book movies and find them fucking ridiculous.
But Darkman, a box-office hit in 1990 probably due to the marketing campaign and great-looking trailer, is the only one
I can think of that actually rises above the cream of crap. The movie works well for the most part, and I like the story.
However, it's the last twenty minutes that lost me, thus garnering a rating of '7' when it should've been '8'.
What I like the most is the special effects for setting the tone. The title sequence, which was created by Pablo Ferro of
Bullitt fame, is outstanding. Before Liam Neeson was Oskar Schindler, he was Darkman. He does a good job, but check
out his teeth, especially the lower ones.
All in all, Darkman is an edgy comic book thriller, but the last twenty minutes needs work.
Darkman II: The Return of Durant (1995)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/16
3/16:
Apparently, anyone can survive a fiery helicopter crash, especially after it's instantly blown up.
That's how Robert G. Durant came back from the dead for Darkman II: The Return of Durant. The sequel isn't bad.
However, what's missing big time is the well-done special effects from the original. As a result, the viewing experience
feels cheap.
Out is Liam Neeson, in is Arnold Vosloo, the South African Billy Zane look-alike. He's effective as Darkman, and I think I
like him more than Liam Neeson.
All in all, it was a mistake not to carry over the high quality of special effects for Darkman II: The Return of Durant.
Darkness Falls (2003)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/06
6/06:
How many more times, and when will it be enough?
The Sixth Sense, A Nightmare on Elm Street,
Boogeyman, Poltergeist,
Friday the 13th,
Halloween, The Ring...the list goes on and on. Darkness Falls is no exception. When I've seen a couple,
I've seen them all. So, what's the point of making another one?
The promising introduction of Darkness Falls did raise my expectations a notch before falling flat on its face because
everything has been so goddamned cliché, banal, and futile. I don't care about the characters. In fact, I'll feel
better if they're dead. Some of the acting is decent, saving the film from being a complete turkey. But what villain?
What horror? What story? Evil rises? Yeah, whatever.
All in all, Darkness Falls is an addition to the mountain of junk films ready to be dumped at the nearby landfill.
Darling (1965)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
9/13, 9/21
9/13:
Julie Christie won the Oscar for her forgettable one-dimensional performance in Daahling.
It's a multifaceted director-driven picture. So, the credit goes to John Schlesinger who went on to make an even better film:
Midnight Cowboy. Replace Julie Christie with another actress, and the results will still be the same, no matter what.
The point of Daaaahling isn't clear, but it paints a portrait of a fake dilettante who's a certified social climber.
Offer her drugs, and she'll take them. Ask her to go on binge drinking, and she'll do it. Engage her in S&M, and she'll
not hesitate. Cast her in pornographic pictures, and she'll be ready. Induce her to abort the baby, and she'll be on the table.
It doesn't matter as long as everybody else is doing the same.
All in all, If Julie Christie was thrown into the middle of the ocean, you'll hear her yell Daaaaaahling.
9/21:
It's been eight years since I saw Darling, and I still feel nothing.
There's no growth. Julie Christie's character is not interesting. She comes and goes. Nothing much happens which seems
done all in a month when in fact at least two years had passed. If I'm supposed to be envious or something, then how come
Julie Christie is with three well-known gay actors: Dirk Bogarde, Laurence Harvey, and Roland Curram? That's not
threatening for a social climber. In many ways, the film is the story of Grace Kelly, the über Hollywood whore who ended up
as Princess of Monaco.
Director John Schlesinger regarded the film as one of his least favorites. I can see why. After Darling, he went
on to make a box-office bomb,
Far from the Madding Crowd which starred Julie Christie again, before moving on to
Midnight Cowboy which made legends out of two actors.
All in all, despite the nice-looking photography, Darling never moves for the slightest bit, and Julie Christie can
thank her beauty for winning the undeserved Best Actress Oscar.
Das Boot (1981)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/06
2/06:
German for The Boat, Das Boot is an intense action-adventure submarine picture that's unlike anything I've
seen before.
It's about exploring how far a man will go. Also, it depicts the reality of survival in naval warfare, something that
Charles Darwin would succintly call: "The survival of the fittest."
Thanks to the incredible camera work and cinematography, Das Boot has one of the greatest endings which makes it
an emotional film overall. Terrific acting is rendered by the cast including Jürgen Prochnow who plays the German
submarine captain.
All in all, I wonder if Das Boot deserves a '10'.
Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari (1920)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/04, 2/06
2/06:
Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari, which is translated as The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, is the quintessential example
of German Expressionism.
It's the jagged shapes in the background that gives the picture a distorted, surreal look. The plot can be confusing, too.
Hence, there should be more text cards for clarification.
All in all, Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari is one of the best from the silent film era.
Das schreckliche Mädchen (1990)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/08
2/08:
I got lost while watching Das schreckliche Mädchen (The Nasty Girl).
The story sucks. Because of the title that's supported by the movie poster, I thought it was going to be a soft porno.
Instead, it's drama tale of two halves: the girl's family background and her town history for research purpose.
That's where the problem lies. What does either have to do with each other? That's when I lost interest. I'm not amused
by the sick sense of humor. One offensive subplot is a teacher hooking up with the protagonist who's of high school
age. But I'm forced to think nothing of it because it's an European film and I won't be able to understand. Bullshit.
All in all, you're better off watching Schindler's List for the
umpteenth time than checking out Das schreckliche Mädchen.
Dave (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/05, 8/18, 6/22
8/18:
Dave is a winner because the story is clever and it also has Kevin Kline.
Yet the movie doesn't work for some reasons.
One, it's too simplistic. U.S. President doesn't have full power to do whatever he wants. That's why there are
checks and balances.
Two, whenever big changes are made, the president has just lost the support of his major donors who'll in turn
expose him for what he actually is, and that's bad news.
Three, it fails to meet the hot topics head-on. How will Dave look when he comes up with answers that'll piss off
half of the audience?
Four, the longer the fake Bill Mitchell keeps it up, the sooner the people are going to sense something that's
amiss about him.
Regardless, Dave is a good movie with a nice star-studded cast which includes Kevin Kline, Sigourney Weaver,
Frank Langella, Kevin Dunn, Charles Grodin, Ving Rhames, and Ben Kingsley.
All in all, suspend the disbelief, and you'll find Dave a charming comedy about politics, thanks to Kevin
Kline.
6/22:
Dave is an enjoyable "what if?" political movie in the same vein of
Gabriel Over the White House.
It helps to have Kevin Kline on board to make the concept work. The rest of the cast is excellent. But I don't buy
the whole thing for a second because of backdoor deals. Screw up any of them, and the president will find himself
assassinated just like JFK. Here's a fun fact: former Vice President Nelson Rockefeller died from a heart attack at
70 while having a sexual intercourse with his 25-year-old aide Megan Marshak, and there was a massive cover-up by
the family and New York newspapers about it.
All in all, Dave is a perfect vehicle for Kevin Kline.
David Copperfield (1935)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/18
9/18:
David Copperfield took me ten days to complete because it was shallow and boring.
According to TCM: "Producer David O. Selznick had spearheaded the production, over the objections of his
father-in-law and boss, MGM studio chief Louis B. Mayer. Conventional Hollywood wisdom held that the classics
were not suitable for the screen."
I read Charles Dickens' novel many, many years ago and thought it was one of the best in English literature.
The trouble with the film is that it's too episodic. What made the novel work was the large number of words
to create feelings in order for the romance to blossom in the long run. Therefore, two hours of film isn't
enough to do it justice.
The casting department made a serious mistake by giving the role of David Copperfield to a ten-year-old kid
named Freddie Bartholomew. Then again, it couldn't find anybody else suitable enough. Freddie Bartholomew is
no actor, preferring to fake his way in many scenes while failing to emote appropriately. Hence, I grew
tired of seeing him for so long and wanted to move on to the next phase of the titular character's life.
Unfortunately, his adult counterpart, who's basically a Leslie Howard clone, is no better, either.
All in all, overly dramatic and old-fashioned, David Copperfield pales in comparison to numerous
Merchant-Ivory pictures.
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/04, 10/06
10/06:
Dawn of the Dead is a zombie film that's full of low-IQ characters.
I hate one of them, and fortunately, he'll die. Then, the movie starts to improve but not a whole lot.
Things might've turned out better if there's an increase in intelligence with more focus on other citizens who are
scattered around the area after surviving the initial stage of the zombie apocalypse. At the same time, George A.
Romero can take advantage of Tom Savani's cadaver makeup skills to bring the best out of the living dead.
Sadly, Dawn of the Dead is a routine sequel with an uninteresting formula: kill as many zombies while getting
used to the new way of life. At least, it gets my vote for one of the best movie posters of all time.
All in all, George A. Romero needs to stop his obsession with zombies and move on with something else.
The Day After (1983)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
10/15, 7/20
10/15:
Being similar to Night of the Living Dead, The Day After
presents a scenario of what it's like to deal with a nuclear holocaust.
To this day, it remains the highest rated telefilm, having registered over 100 million viewers on November 20,
1983. It's because the subject is fascinating and can happen for real, giving them something to think about.
The aftermath as shown seems realistic, but the censors of the time wanted the impact toned down. Therefore,
we'll never know the true effects until it actually happens. At the same time, people shouldn't expect immediate
help because of federal government incompetence (see Hurricane Katrina).
All in all, The Day After is a remarkable picture by presenting a side of reality that nobody wants to
deal with.
7/20:
The Day After is still impressive as ever.
I don't think fallout shelters will succeed. First of all, the plumbing has to operate smoothly for the
toilet to work; eventually, it'll clog because there are too many people using it. Second, food and water will
run out at some point. Third, electricity won't come on anymore because of the electromagnetic pulse. Four, cabin
fever is real. Five, however polluted the air is outside, everybody inside will breathe it, regardless.
So, can The Day After happen for real? Yes, I do. The United States and Russia have over 7,000 nuclear
weapons apiece. The third-place country has about 300. Explain this to me: why do we need them? Just to feel
powerful? It only takes one launch, and there will be no end for retaliation. People aren't that intelligent
or moral; look at how the leaders screwed up during the COVID-19 pandemic because they're mostly interested in
money...always have been and always will be. Hence, the aftermath isn't pretty. Don't count on the FEMA, either,
when disaster strikes.
All in all, The Day After is exactly what the title says: dealing with the aftermath of a nuclear holocaust.
Day of the Dead (1985)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/06
10/06:
Day of the Dead is a much better picture than
Dawn of the Dead and has some merits but, of course, is
not in the same league as Night of the Living Dead.
After an hour, it begins to be better, shaping into a genuine horror picture despite the fact that there are some awful,
lame-brained characters, thanks to bad acting. Things come alive in the final half hour which turns out well.
The concept of a mad scientist trying to create civilized behavior among the living dead is a sure-fire way of making a
successful horror picture, but the thought of it has to be unsound because the zombies are already brain-dead, hence the
term "living dead."
I'm impressed with the nice touch of making Bub a seemingly human being instead of a zombie. Although I know the picture's
intelligence is low, here's a bright idea: why not abandon the army idiots and start creating a family with the woman? It's
not a question of morality but an obligation. The four characters can therefore begin the systemic eradication to achieve
quick progress.
All in all, Day of the Dead is better than Dawn of the Dead.
The Day of the Jackal (1973)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
12/12
12/12:
I read the book The Day of the Jackal more than a decade ago and remember it as a thrilling novel but with a
disappointing ending.
Of course, I wanted the Jackal to succeed but couldn't accept the implausibilities in the progress made by the detectives to
capture him. For some reason, I never saw the picture until now.
Although not a faithful adaptation of the book by Frederick Forsyth, everything is well done. Edward Fox is perfect as the
Jackal. The high level of realism that's maintained throughout pays off dividends. However, I prefer the characters to speak
French instead of English. I've been hoping for a remedy by allowing the Jackal to succeed. Once again, it's still the same
disappointing ending.
In the meantime, there are two problems. One, why is the Jackal stupid to use cards to get around Europe? I understand the
first entry, but the rest of the way? He should've disguished himself as a homeless man, and he'll still reach his objective.
Instead, he leaves off a paper trail which eventually becomes his undoing. Two, which occurs at the ending, is the lack of a
revolver. Have it ready at hand, so the Jackal can kill anyone who gets in his way. I expected more from a professional
assassin.
All in all, get the ending right, and The Day of the Jackal will play better.
The Day of the Locust (1975)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
8/15
8/15:
The only worthwhile part of The Day of the Locust is the behind-the-scenes insight into how Hollywood movies are made.
The rest is a waste of my time. I've already seen Sunset Boulevard and
The Bad and the Beautiful. Hence, what new ground is there to uncover? Karen Black plays an idiot whom I don't care
about. William Atherton is no leading man; he's only memorable for playing a throwaway character in two
Die Hard films.
Regardless of the fact that Donald Sutherland has top billing, he makes an awkward cameo and doesn't seem to belong.
Meredith Burgess is better which is enough for him to receive an Oscar nomination for Best Actor in a
Supporting Role. In hindsight, his character has nothing to do with the grand scheme of things.
The film title may be misleading for the longest time until the two-hour mark. Finally, the mob
mentality comes alive by overwhelming all the principal characters, yet it feels unconnected to everything beforehand.
All in all, John Schlesinger looks finished.
The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
12/15
12/15:
Not exactly The War of the Worlds, The Day the Earth Stood Still is one of the most intelligent,
thought-provoking sci-fi pictures made.
It's the defensive, reactive, and militaristic stance taken by the Americans to protect their soil that has my eyes rolling
because you know it's true. They care about nothing but themselves.
I love the part when the alien visitor gave a demonstration of what he could do: turning off the power except for the planes
and hospitals (clever because I was going to point them out, but they covered these bases). Imagine what would
happen if there was no internet connection anymore. Unfortunately, the ending is an open-ended question. The
obvious answer is: the Americans won't keep their promise because they are too undisciplined and selfish.
Michael Rennie doesn't get enough credit for his performance as Klaatu. He has a good presence for an alien visitor. His
character is also unassuming and easygoing yet is observant and knows how to deal with trivial matters which are typical of
Americans.
During my class for differential equations, my professor mentioned an equation used in
The Day the Earth Stood Still. So, I became curious enough to see the film.
Lo and behold, there it was on the chalkboard. I believe it's the first time I've seen advanced math in movies besides
Good Will Hunting.
All in all, I put off seeing The Day the Earth Stood Still for a long time, but the wait had been worth it.
Daylight (1996)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/04, 10/20, 12/21
10/20:
Bringing back good memories of the 70's disaster genre, Daylight is a respectable entry.
A major flaw of such films is too much star power. The more big names there are in the cast, the worse the overall product is.
But it's not the case for Daylight which is
The Poseidon Adventure meets
Cliffhanger. Thankfully, the possibility of a romance has been dispensed with.
It has one huge name in Sylvester Stallone with the rest being filled out by common players we've seen in one picture or another.
Yes, Viggo Mortenson appears, but he wasn't well-known that time. The result is more emphasis on the characters' survival
in the face of disaster inside the NY-NJ tunnel.
Kit Latura didn't have to go inside, but he did. That makes him a hero, and there are many acts of heroism along the way.
Unfortunately, people die, and nothing can be done about it at the moment given the circumstances. When the situation looks
bleak, survivors will invariably generate negative thoughts and act out; that's what many did the whole time,
turning Daylight into a psychological actioner.
What I like about Stallone's character is that he isn't made out to be a superhero with awesome abilities. He's a normal person
who has to rely on his wits and past experience, so it's a tough situation for everybody involved. I'm not sure,
but it would help if somebody had good ideas to pass along. Perhaps they just didn't have any. At least, Ray Nord tried despite
his opportunistic marketing visions.
The reason for the rating of '7' is the special effects. It's not fabulous; some parts look real, and others are either
dated or fake, especially at the end. I can tell the filmmakers applied a great deal of mattes. Sometimes, there are
implausible moments that don't jibe with reality. However, I can believe the blowout because of my swimming experience of
being stuck at the bottom of a wave while waiting to be propelled back up.
Several drivers who were inside the car as the fireball came blasting through should have been melted to death instantly.
Don't we have that in evidence from the Mount Vesuvius eruption in 79 AD? On the other hand, the water is too cold
for everybody, and they should've died of hypothermia. At the same time, they could've looked inside some cars for
something dry to wear, even from the dead people, including blankets to replace their wet clothes.
All in all, Daylight is a low-key Stallone vehicle that succeeds as an interesting disaster picture in spite of some
okay special effects and logic flaws.
12/21:
Daylight brings back good memories of the 70's disaster pictures.
It has a lot in common with
The Poseidon Adventure. I had come off a bad, slow movie although it was only 80
minutes long. Daylight is half an hour longer yet zooms through quickly. The key difference? Things are happening!
It's what movies should be about: entertainment.
When Daylight came out, Sylvester Stallone had already lost the box-office power that he enjoyed for more than a decade,
so it's his last great actioner. Despite him being at his vintage best, there are annoying characters
to put up with. They make the film a bit hard to get through.
All in all, you can't go wrong with an action-packed Stallone picture like Daylight.
Days of Heaven (1978)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/17
1/17:
I had never heard of Days of Heaven until it showed up on TCM, and I listened to Ben Mankiewicz who made
a big deal out of the cinematography.
Well, after seeing it, I find the whole thing, especially the cinematography, overrated. Not a fan of Terrence
Malick, I say his movies suck. They're always slow, touchy-feely, and without substance. The best example of what
I mean is The Thin Red Line.
By the way, it took Terrence Malick twenty years to direct again after Days of Heaven which was the second
of his career. The reason why is that his movies never made money because nobody was interested.
Hardly anything happens in Days of Heaven whose release was delayed for two years due to extensive
editing. There's no story whatsoever. It's all about capturing sunrises and sunsets at the right moment. The
transition from one scene to another is awkward, and there's a zero flow among the scenes. Nothing is explained.
What's more amazing is how drowned out Richard Gere is. It has to take an unbelievable amount of talent to pull
this off because he's a charismatic actor who can make himself a cynosure. Well, the poor son of a bitch has been
killed here. Let's be real: he, a great Calvin Klein model if I ever saw one, was miscast along with his
anachronistic hairstyle.
Brooke Adams looks like she was kicked in the head by a horse, causing her eyes to be upside-down crooked. Her
co-star Sam Shepard is hopeless. So is Linda Manz who's a horrible actress. As for the locust scene, it isn't real.
Peanut shells were used during the drop from a helicopter. If you want authenticity, then check out
The Good Earth with Paul Muni which won Karl Freund an Oscar for Best
Cinematography.
All in all, Days of Heaven is Heaven's Gate all over again with
Terrence Malick substituted for Michael Cimino.
Days of Thunder (1990)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
4/03, 1/04, 1/05, 7/05, 6/07, 6/10, 9/20
7/05:
I love everything about Days of Thunder: the direction, the story, the dialogue, the editing, the atmosphere,
the acting, the characters, and the racing scenes.
As soon as the ultra-cool opening sequence rolls, it's evident that the film will be a thrilling ride.
Tom Cruise's character making his first appearance while on the motorcycle is terrific.
Michael Rooker gives an unforgettable Oscar-worthy performance as Rowdy Burns. Having the best lines, he takes the film
to another level by playing his character to perfection. Rowdy may be mean, but he comes off as a likeable guy.
All in all, Days of Thunder is the best auto racing film made.
6/07:
Days of Thunder is 100% stylish and thus 100% rewatchable.
The cast turns in all-around excellent performances. Michael Rooker steals the picture, and Tom Cruise and Robert Duvall are
fantastic together. Their pairing makes me want to see them do another film because of their wonderful chemistry. I love Tom
Cruise's entrance when he rode his motocycle onto the racetrack with white smoke in the background. It's called style, baby.
The opening title sequence, which starts out with the formation of dark-looking clouds that's followed up with RVs, various
flags, and spectators filling in the stands as everybody prepares for the upcoming race, is captivating.
Michael Rooker has an awesome movie moment that says all about his character when he appeared calm with a menacing look in his
eyes to make a statement: "Listen, man. I've raced with my legs broke, heart bruised, eyes popping out of my head like they're
on springs. This is going to go away just like anything else."
Another favorite scene involves rental cars on the beach. It's silly stuff. Then, there's Tim Daland
making a hilarious reference to a monkey fucking a football. Of course, the last fifteen minutes has to be the most
exciting of them all.
All in all, the performances along with masterful writing, stylized editing, and fantastic cinematography make
Days of Thunder an incomparable auto racing picture.
6/10:
Days of Thunder is the most exciting auto racing picture ever made, thanks to the incredible editing.
Tom Cruise delivers a performance like how a superstar should deliver. I love the supporting cast. Michael Rooker steals the
movie every time he appears, and Robert Duvall is special. I love the inclusion of Randy Quaid, who has a great presence, and
he's hilarious when he mentioned a monkey fucking a football.
All in all, Days of Thunder is one of the most underrated films.
9/20:
Days of Thunder is the be-all and end-all of auto racing pictures.
Many such as Le Mans, Grand Prix,
Driven, and The Cannonball Run had tried to make
the sport exciting on screen, but they've all failed. Then comes along Days of Thunder that puts them
to shame before going on to obliterate any future attempts for the genre.
Right off the bat, it's the editing that takes the film to a level that's never been reached before. Then, there are the
well-shot, fast racing scenes that are along the same lines of Top Gun. Hard to
overlook is the great acting performances. Capping off everything is the strength of Robert Towne's screenplay which has many memorable lines.
Tom Cruise is natural as Cole Trickle; he's never acting for one moment. Up next are two special performances by Robert Duvall
and Michael Rooker. What characters they play, making it easy to respect them given their tough exterior. Nicole
Kidman has never been more fine-looking before or since then.
All in all, it's difficult to beat the excitement that Days of Thunder brings to the table.
Days of Wine and Roses (1962)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
3/25
3/25:
When it comes to alcoholism, Day of Wine and Roses is as accurate as it gets.
I've always known that attending social functions, which probably reached the highest point during the 60's
and 70's, is a creeping way of being hooked on alcohol. Oftentimes, they serve as an excuse to drink. Even
though many people can handle it, there are some who are unable to. When they try to abstain from drinking or
avoid social functions altogether, they're punished by not being seen as part of the "group" or "team."
It's among Jack Lemmon's best performances, and he was rightfully Oscar-nominated. I'm not a fan of Lee Remick
but must say she did a good job while making sure to cut down the number of infamous long stares she's wont
to give. The legendary tough guy Charles Bickford is reduced to tears while Jack Klugman does well in giving his
two cents, especially when it comes to the validity of Alcoholics Anonymous.
The ending is realistic compared to The Lost Weekend. Alcoholics are
going to remain alcoholics, no matter what, and there will never be a cure for it. All they have to do is abstain.
But I blame Joe Clay for not respecting Kirsten Arnesen's wish to be a teetotaler. Imagine if she never looked his
way just once, how much different her life would've been. The only two negatives of the film are: the script can
sometimes be talky and the portrayal of an alcoholic has been done better in a future film called
Leaving Las Vegas.
All in all, Day of Wine and Roses is a fine dramatic film with strong performances and wonderful
black-and-white photography.
A Day's Pleasure (1919)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
It's interesting to note that I've seen all Charlie Chaplin films from 1914 to 1919 and that every one has been
virtually the same.
The concept stays constant while quality improves at the speed of a snail. That's amazing. A Day's Pleasure?
Yeah, right...it's more like a fucking torture.
All in all, there's no hope for anything good from Charlie Chaplin.
Dazed and Confused (1993)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/03, 6/05, 9/05, 8/15
6/05:
Dazed and Confused is a rip-off of American Graffiti with one difference: lots of weed.
Poorly developed characters from different cliques are a constant problem throughout. As Dave Wooderson, Matthew
McConaughey is the only standout as he single-handedly steals every scene he appears in; he's why I continue to revisit the
film. It's the best performance of his career. He has two quotes that are instant classics:
"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I keep getting older, they stay the same age."
"Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, alright. We got 411 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper Edelbrock
intakes, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some fuckin' muscle."
All in all, the only reason to see Dazed and Confused is Matthew McConaughey.
9/05:
Dazed and Confused is sometimes energetic and fun but has many undeveloped characters and useless lingering scenes,
especially with the pre-freshmen.
The biggest star is Matthew McConaughey as the gorgeous-looking Dave Wooderson with brilliant lines.
His atavistic look of the 70's is keen. In short, he should've gotten an Oscar nomination.
All in all, Dazed and Confused can be fun to watch but is rather empty much of the time.
8/15:
Matthew McConaughey's performance is the only thing worth watching in Dazed and Confused.
Everybody else is a waste of time. No wonder why most of them never panned out career-wise. Wiley Wiggins is
one of the worst actors I've seen in my life.
All in all, Dazed and Confused is a rip-off version of American Graffiti.
D-Day the Sixth of June (1956)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
Talk about a misleading title.
D-Day the Sixth of June initially gave me the general idea that I was going to see a lot of banal
fighting on the beach and blah, blah, blah. Instead, it became disguise for a wartime love triangle. After finding
out, I felt fine with the change in direction.
Unfortunately, the show didn't deliver the goods as hoped for. The first minute I saw Robert Taylor
being paired up with Dana Wynter, I said, "Too old." He was 44 while she was 24 at the time of filming.
The difference remained flagrant all the way through.
However, Robert Taylor and Dana Wynter did show chemistry. The reason why
From Here to Eternity worked was that there was a certain oomph.
D-Day the Sixth of June didn't have any. No matter how beautiful Dana Wynter could be, it wasn't enough to
overcome the vacuousness she displayed on screen, hence the long-term outcome of her unremarkable career.
I thought a lot about the adultery part and didn't get why the filmmakers wanted me to root for the
cheating couple. The husband, played by Richard Todd who was actually involved with the D-Day by landing
in Normandy, looked like a fine, upstanding guy, and she was still interested in the other guy? I never got
to see Brad Parker's wife. Therefore, how she felt about the situation was rendered unimportant.
Edmond O'Brien had a meaty role going but was ultimately used to serve as a plot device to set up
the final act for the cheating couple. Finally, the film title's promise had been seen through.
Ironically, that's when I said it wasn't a good idea, and as a result, D-Day the Sixth of June sank
further. Because of the low lighting, the cinematography was constantly dark to my dismay.
All in all, Hollywood should've first asked itself why anyone would be interested in a film about soldiers
cheating on their spouses during WWII.
De la calle (2001)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/06
5/06:
While watching De la calle, I thought, "Okay, what's the point?"
It took me a while to formulate my opinion. Honestly, the film is a work of art.
Yes, the dialogue is that wretched. Yes, the acting is that wretched. And yes, the premise is that wretched. But still, there's
something unique about it because the perception has a lot to do with what it's like to live in Mexico City.
De la calle works for the following reasons:
1. It's realistic.
2. It's tragic.
3. It's not corny.
4. It's easy yet complex to understand.
5. It has meaning.
The plot is primarily about choices, however vaguely limited as they are. What makes it interesting is the ending
justifying the consequences of them. It's a symbolic reminder of the worthlessness of human life in Mexico City.
All in all, De la calle passes muster.
Dead Again (1991)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/17
7/17:
The next film for the Wellesian wunderkind by the name of Kenneth Branagh is Dead Again.
My effort of watching the convoluted film has been worth it. Hence, it's one of the best psychological
thrillers I've seen in a while. Sure, the movie starts off awkwardly, has some slow parts, and takes a while to come together.
Then, the pace is picked up during the second half, and it's hard not to be intrigued by the
frenetic finish that's sprinkled with unexpected twists. However, there are a couple of logic problems with the plot.
One, if I can make the connection instantly by the looks of the lead characters and Roman and Margaret Strauss, why don't
the others, too? Two, is Mike Church really interested in his client? It never looks convincing, thus taking too much
away from the plot. As a matter of fact, Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson were married two years before Dead Again
was filmed, but they divorced in 1995 due to his infidelity with Helena Bonham Carter which began during the
making of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.
The strongest aspect is acting. It's well-done with Kenneth Branagh as the standout. I like Wayne Knight's
performance as well. Derek Jacobi is effective in a puzzling way. I didn't expect Robin Williams to appear, and I wonder
why he was uncredited. It turns out that he didn't want people thinking Dead Again was a comedy which is
strange given he's been good in dramas. Either way, it's a nice surprise.
All in all, Dead Again has everything that I can ask for in a psychological neo-noir thriller.
Dead Calm (1989)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/17
5/17:
I picked up Dead Calm for one reason: Billy Zane.
Initially, I thought he might be good in it, but unfortunately, his acting comes off as amateurish. Hence, it's hard for
me to take him seriously. This is the second biggest flaw.
The first is the lack of intelligence as the premise makes no sense. By following common sense, many problems will have
been avoided in the first place. Or it can be the case of two stupid characters. There are other issues as well.
One, why not Rae push Hughie's body overboard after he passed out cold from the cocktail mix of lemonade and narcotics?
Two, why row all the way from the yacht to the schooner when it makes more sense to sail over there?
Three, why don't the couple radio for help? I'm sure there are ships in the vicinity.
Four, at the end, John is shown using a row boat and has it tied to the rear of the schooner. Then, the schooner starts to
sink, and John escapes and gets on the raft. But why didn't he return to where he came from in the first place?
Five, the gun, the gun...it's loaded! Shoot Hughie already!
It feels like a contrived situation had been purposefully thrown on me. If the plot was more intelligent,
Dead Calm would feel less cheap. The introduction is pointless by having no tie-in with the rest of the
film. It's already old when Hughie came back from the dead to have one last stab at everybody just like the
Friday the 13th movies.
All in all, Dead Calm is a bad Australian flick.
Dead Cert (1974)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
2/22
2/22:
Showcasing the dope-filled world of horse racing, Dead Cert is neither interesting nor exciting.
I give the film credit for explaining the Grand National better than
National Velvet. Back then, I had never understood its purpose, but
now, I do.
No matter what, I'm still tuned out because the race is predicated on animal abuse. That much is evident when
the horses are shown doing impossible jumps over and over, falling down, and, as a result, breaking their ankles
and legs. Failure to perform up to standards means an immediate trip to the slaughterhouse with no sympathy.
Nonetheless, Dead Cert is okay. I got lost during the first half-hour, but the plot became more clear
afterwards. Thus, it's a fast-paced movie, but I don't know why Alan York had to make it so complicated. Having seen
Warning Shot, I knew Sandy Mason was the culprit from the get-go; he's just
too glib and friendly. When York was slipped a Mickey, there had to be only two suspects, and the girl was ruled
out, leaving Sandy.
The acting is generally fine. Judi Dench is the only notable performer, but she, a longtime overrated actress,
plays herself as usual. Scott Antony is the show and does what he can do to enliven things. Michael Williams,
in the role of Sandy, was Judi Dench's husband and died in 2001 from lung cancer.
I've never been a fan of Tony Richardson as his films are often slow-paced and pointless, but Dead Cert
is one of the better ones. I've got to question his decision to place pointed railings on the inside as seen at
the end because it never happens in real life.
All in all, I hate horse racing, and therefore, Dead Cert isn't for me.
Dead End (1937)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
Why? Why? Why?
Dead End is no Best Picture candidate, having been thoroughly destroyed by the impossible-to-stand
juvenile delinquents. Afterwards, they'll be called the Dead End Kids and ruin more movies until their thankful
retirement in 1958. It's an automatic three or four point reduction in the film's rating whenever they appear,
causing to me to yell, "Aaaaarrrrrrgh...kill me now!"
The other issue is how stagy the whole thing feels which was shot on nearly one spot along with a fancy
penthouse right in the middle of the slum (riiiiight). I wouldn't have minded it if the kids were entirely
eliminated, but it's unbelievable that there's enough motivation for Humphrey Bogart's and Allen Jenkins'
characters to stand there for hours in their fancy suits.
As for the story, who cares? It's like watching two films in one. By the time Humphrey Bogart's character
died, the whole thing was over. But nooooo...I have to stay on longer because of the extremely tenuous
connection between him and the mother's boy.
Obviously, Humphrey Bogart is the best (read that as "only") thing going in Dead End despite being billed
third in the opening credits. Who cares about Joel McCrea? Sylvia Sidney plays a stupid bitch that's common
in the annals of crime; they always say the same thing: "No, my boy is a good boy! Please, no! I promise that
he won't do it again!" Make no mistake about it: they're 100% bad seeds. As Francey, Claire Trevor was
Oscar-nominated? No, no, no...get out of here.
All in all, introducing the Dead End Kids is the worst mistake of Dead End.
Dead Man (1995)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/14
10/14:
Directed by Jim Jarmusch, Dead Man is in the same vein of
Stranger Than Paradise. *fade to black*
If you haven't seen it before, that's okay...you missed nothing. *fade to black*
Of course, the viewers are going to hear "Cleveland" a few times because that's where Jim Jarmusch is from. *fade to black*
Then, things are underway, and it becomes a one big "Uh...?" *fade to black*
That's exactly how I felt. *fade to black*
In truth, Dead Man is a good-looking black-and-white picture that takes a while, which is actually an hour,
to sort of appreciate it. *fade to black*
Then, it's too late because either the story, the intelligence, or the point hasn't been fully developed.
*fade to black*
In fact, I thought the Indian was luring Johnny Depp's character into a trap, so he could let his tribe kill him.
*fade to black*
Alas, my guess wasn't close by a mile. *fade to black*
Whatever the Indian said has been rubbish and incomprehensible. *fade to black*
Dead Man was made for nine million dollars but grossed one whopping million dollars at the box office.
*fade to black*
Consequently, the massive failure killed the David Lynch wannabe's career. *fade to black*
All in all, trying to be too artsy-fartsy is always frowned on by the public, not because
they don't understand but because they don't appreciate the pretentiousness. *fade to black*
Dead Man on Campus (1998)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/21
2/21:
For a MTV picture, Dead Man on Campus scores big time.
Right off the bat, it's Michael Traeger and Mike White's writing that's impressive which may be the primary reason
why everybody signed on the project. Getting Tom Everett Scott and Saved by the Bell's Mark-Paul Gosselaar for the cast
is the clincher.
The result is true comedy. It's a funny, clever movie. The two principal stars work off each other very well: Scott
and Gosselaar as Abbott and Costello, respectively. Adding a few more guys into the mix makes it more insane in terms of hijinks: Lochlyn
Munro, Jason Segel, and Randy Pearlstein.
I find it funny if a roommate commits suicide, everybody living with him will automatically get all A's as a consolation.
That being said, I kept the concept in mind when I went to college for the first time, and two murders happened in
a six months' time.
The killer lived one floor above me, and I had talked to him a few times before. Academically speaking, which
had nothing to do with the murders, I had too many B's, and it would be the first and last time
this happened. Unfortunately, after the second murder, everything changed, and my college experience started to suck,
prompting me to transfer out the following year. Of course, the B's that I had weren't automatically converted into A's.
All in all, Dead Man on Campus is a well-made black comedy picture with a fantastic script and strong performances.
Dead Man Walking (1995)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
3/04, 5/14, 6/19, 8/23
5/14:
To keep things in perspective: if Dead Man Walking featured a trashy-looking death row inmate with bad
skin and hair who's about to be executed but asked for sympathy despite being guilty of the heinous acts,
would the film still be watchable?
Of course not. We just don't care, and we want him dead. The sooner, the better. Just kill him already. That's
the problem I have with the film because of Sean Penn's appeal. Of course, it takes an acting reputation, James
Dean hair, colorful fake tattoos, and icy blue eyes to draw in the viewers and make them think it's a fascinating
movie about a cool-looking guy who happens to be on death row. That's the allure of Hollywood bullshit.
The religion stuff, which is clearly a heavy buffer, gets in the way too much for me to feel strongly either way.
The winning feature is the walkthrough of the death penalty phase which can be thought of as Execution 101.
One missing element is the killer's background information. If I knew the story, how he grew up, the shit he
pulled, and all that, I'm sure it won't be a surprise when it comes to why he ended up on death row.
I consider Dead Man Walking to be the best work Susan Sarandon, an overrated actress, has ever done. She
displays the perfect set of emotions and does it well at key moments. My favorite scene, although it's a
red herring, is when her character was stopped for speeding. I don't know why, but it's so random.
What the movie failed to accomplish is to drum up some worthless support against death penalty (but why?). The
conversations between Sister Helen Prejean and Matthew Poncelet are hollow just to pass the time. Ditto for her
talks with the victims' families which are typical and predictable in an "I don't know what to say" manner. One
aspect I've always found strikingly peculiar is the murderers receiving more attention than their victims.
All in all, Dead Man Walking has great performances but is rather an empty political statement about death
penalty.
6/19:
I saw Dead Man Walking again after reading Sister Helen Prejean's eponymous book which actually turned
out to be a total lie as evidenced by Dead Family Walking: The Bourque Family Story of Dead Man Walking and
most especially Victims of Dead Man Walking.
I'll say the movie captures 80% to 90% of Prejean's book but is 100% in spirit with several differences. Sean
Penn's character is a composite of two executed death row inmates and, by all accounts, bears an uncanny
resemblance to one of them. The actual names of those involved have been changed, and an electric chair is used
instead of lethal injection. Oh yeah, the speeding incident...although it's a memorable scene, it never happened
but rather did during the filming of Dead Man Walking.
It's rare that a movie will pay attention to the victims, so kudos to Tim Robbins for making them be a central
part of the story. Raymond Barry, R. Lee Ermey, and Celia Weston are outstanding for playing the parents of the
slain teenagers. They're exactly whom I imagined to be in the book, being the reason why people believe strongly
in capital punishment.
What can I say about Susan Sarandon? I hate her, but she gives an excellent performance. It's by far the best of
her career, and she deserved the Oscar. Having bowled me over during the last thirty minutes, Sean Penn is also
unforgettable, and it's certainly one of his better performances. By the way, you can spot the real Sister Helen
Prejean, with eyeglasses on, leading the prayer during the candlelight vigil while a death row inmate is being
executed.
All in all, Dead Man Walking is not about changing people's minds about capital punishment but rather
offers a realistic, neutral insight into how a death sentence is carried out at the Louisiana State Penitentiary.
8/23:
Dead Man Walking is a superlative film of what it's like to be executed at a penitentiary.
I hate Susan Sarandon, but there's no argument from me that she won the Oscar for Best Actress. She deserved it.
Sean Penn is terrific as well; his soulless blue eyes go a long way. What a speech by Robert Prosky during the
pardon board hearing. It's direct.
Thanks to the editing job by Lisa Zeno Churgin and Ray Hubley, Dead Man Walking is a fast-paced,
thought-provoking film, but forget the book by Sister Helen Prejean which is 90% fictional, if not more. To find
out the truth is to read the following: Dead Family Walking: The Bourque Family Story of Dead Man Walking
and Victims of Dead Man Walking.
All in all, Dead Man Walking is the best Louisianian movie made.
Dead Man's Folly (1986)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/10
12/10:
Peter Ustinov is back as Hercule Poirot for Dead Man's Folly after appearing in
Thirteen at Dinner a year earlier.
It's a better picture than the other one but suffers from the same banality that's caused by the story and
a certain sequence of events. Of course, the final picture,
Murder in Three Acts, remains the best of the bunch.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed the mystery as presented although I was unable to guess who the murderer
was, but it's cool to find out at the end. Once again, Peter Ustinov is incredible as the famed detective by making most of
his thespic abilities.
I like the cinematography as it's easy on my eyes. However, I've had a hard time believing Hastings used to be
in the secret service based on his demeanor and the look of his face. Also, when somebody wears gloves as often as possible,
his hands should be whiter than the rest of the arms. Also, they can be used for gardening, landscaping, and bicycling,
to name a few.
All in all, Dead Man's Folly is all in good fun.
Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
3/16
3/16:
There are two words that sum up Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid: "Not...funny."
I thought about giving it a '2' because of the inserted shots of old 40's noir pictures. But I realized
that would be giving the movie an easy way out from being labeled as one of the worst ever made. Hence, I
decided to go with '1'.
So, yes...it's that bad. Showing a great deal of juvenile immaturity, Steve Martin is unmercifully terrible and
unfunny. How can many beautiful-looking women be in love with his loser character? Why does he have to
blurt out awful sex jokes? It was never like that in any film noir picture. They used subtlety all the
time because of the Hays Code.
Comedy is nonexistent. Because of the juxtaposition of old and new reels, the story never flows well.
To make matters worse, the quality of acting between Steve Martin and noir veterans is as wide as the
wing span of an eagle.
All in all, Steve Martin needs to relearn the definition of comedy.
Dead of Winter (1987)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/18
3/18:
If I can immediately recognize Mary Steenburgen no matter how hard she tries to disguise herself as three different
characters, then anyone else will, too.
That's the downfall of the vacuous mystery in Dead of Winter. There's hardly any suspense or challenge.
Mary Steenburgen is terrible. So is everybody else. Nobody knows how to create an effective horror film.
The story is never believable, and it's obvious the two guys were going to use the female lead character for
something sinister. There were several moments when she had the chance to escape the house and seek help, but
she never took it.
All of what I said is a big surprise considering the fact that Arthur Penn directed this clunker, but it'll be
nearly the final film of his career, having seen a massive decline in his talent since 1975. In fact, this is what
happened as according to Wikipedia:
"Despite the credits, Arthur Penn was not the film's original director. Co-writer Marc Shmuger, a classmate and
friend of Penn's son Matthew Penn, began directing, but soon ran into difficulties. Producer John Bloomgarden
took over directing in the interim. Studio executive Alan Ladd, Jr., asked Arthur Penn, who had initially
brought the project to the studio's attention, to direct. Penn reluctantly agreed."
All in all, Dead of Winter is poorly written, full of bad acting, and not as suspenseful or chilling
as the silly critics have made it out to be.
The Dead Pool (1988)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
8/03, 6/05
6/05:
Signaling the end of the franchise, The Deal Pool is the same old, same old.
It lacks the charm and dry comedy that have been the defining brand of the famed character. Moreover, the Dirty Harry feel is
noticeably absent. As alarming as his face appears, Clint Eastwood looks practically dead!
Liam Neeson has a nice role while Jim Carrey makes a hopped-up cameo appearance. At least, Harry Callahan goes out in the sunset with a
vintage line: "Maybe I'll start my own dead pool, and put you on it."
All in all, the Dirty Harry franchise has had a nice run, but it's over.
Dead Reckoning (1946)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
It isn't Humphrey Bogart's fault that Dead Reckoning is a bad movie.
Sure, he looks the part and tries to make the dialogue snappy enough to pass for murder mystery entertainment. But the whole
thing feels fake on the film noir level. Every cliché in the book has been used with Humphrey Bogart unintentionally
parodying himself. Clutching at straws, the story is extremely hard to follow, having lost me for good during the second
half. I hate the heavy voice-over narration.
Many reviewers have said Dead Reckoning was a rip-off of The Maltese Falcon.
I actually don't see it that way, but yeah...the true nature of Lizabeth Scott's character is predictable from the start. Rather,
it's almost The Big Sleep all over again. There are a lot of silly moments like
Humphrey Bogart going ahead with the poisoned drink after being aware of it, getting beaten up savagely but looking fine
afterwards, throwing grenades in the office, and surviving the car crash with a simple broken arm at the end which killed Coral
whose face was left perfectly intact.
Looking like the next Lauren Bacall, Lizabeth Scott isn't in Humphrey Bogart's league. It's not that she tries too hard, but rather,
she doesn't have the acting chops to pass for a believable femme fatale. As a matter of fact, her role was meant for
Rita Hayworth who turned it down because of contract dispute. The following year, Rita Hayworth would prove why she's perfect by
appearing in one of the greatest films noirs made: The Lady from Shanghai.
All in all, because of Humphrey Bogart, Dead Reckoning seems like a worthwhile film noir picture
but has been done in by the convoluted storyline.
Dead Ringers (1988)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
5/11
5/11:
Having seen many David Cronenberg's films, I was pleasantly surprised to pick up Dead Ringers, an
unfamiliar title to me (that's because it was a box-office failure in 1988).
Well, it had a good start with a nice premise. Of course, there's a hint of macabre which is a typical trademark of David
Cronenberg's early horror films. However, as soon as Geneviève Bujold appeared, things began to fall apart
at the seams. I thought Jeremy Irons would carry the movie on his back from start to finish but to no avail.
For the final effort to salvage my interest, I hoped for a gripping Cronenberg storyline, but it
never came. Henceforth, I tuned out about one hour into the film because it was boring by turning into
Videodrome
all over again. Anyway, Jeremy Irons did fine in playing both identical twin brothers, but I didn't care when they died.
All in all, I prefer Twins with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito
over Dead Ringers, and I didn't even like it.
Dead Simple (2001)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/20
5/20:
Why is the film called Viva Las Nowhere when I was searching for Dead Simple on the internet?
It's so stupid. Anyway, I like the movie that's of the "why the hell not?" sort. What works the best is the
one-crazy-thing-leads-to-another plot. Also, the performances are strong. Funnily enough,
Dead Simple was shot on location in Calgary, not Kansas. Unfortunately, the filmmakers made a poor decision by using an inferior
camera that had a hard time capturing fast movements.
Daniel Stern plays a dumb, corny character named Frank Jacobs, but as long as his acting is top-notch, he's enjoyable to watch.
The most shocking moment has to be Frank accidentally throwing the radio in the bathtub, killing two
people. As Helen, Patricia Richardson might be nails on a chalkboard, but she's not bad as her twin sister Wanda.
James Caan surprised me in two ways: his super-long hair à la Willie Nelson and the blob transformation of his body that
used to be in football shape. As usual, his acting is flawless. For a short time, Lacey Kohl steals
some of the thunder while Sherry Stringfield is fair.
Believe it or not, there are two geographical centers in the United States. If we consider only the contiguous 48 states, it's
located approximately 2.6 miles northwest of Lebanon, Kansas. After the admission of Hawaii and Alaska as the final two
states, the true geographical center was shifted to approximately 20 miles north of Belle Fourche, South Dakota. Either way,
who cares?
All in all, Dead Simple is a well-made black comedy with a slight touch of neo-noir.
The Dead Zone (1983)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
9/10, 7/15
9/10:
It's always an experience when I see a David Cronenberg picture, especially when it's from the early 80's.
Being in the same vein as The Brood,
Scanners, and Videodrome, The Dead Zone serves up a
fascinating insight into telepathic powers of an ordinary person. There's a series of vignettes with each being more
interesting than the previous. Usually, Stephen King's stories don't translate well on screen, but this one does.
Christopher Walken gives a great performance, and the supporting players rise to the occasion to
complement him. The plot is excellent, elicting a mix of David Cronenberg's style and
The Manchurian Candidate, with a sharp twist at the end.
All in all, The Dead Zone is a superbly made Cronenberg picture.
7/15:
The Dead Zone is possibly the most calm David Cronenberg picture made which means it has no visceral graphics or
anything that's gross.
It's the story that makes the film a winner because the ability to see the future is a fascinating topic. Hence, it's the
chief reason why Quantum Leap was one of the best sci-fi TV shows ever produced. The finale is reminiscent of
The Manchurian Candidate.
Christopher Walken is excellent. Ironically, his character makes a mention of
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, and what happened to him plays out the same way as the eponymous character in
Rip Van Winkle with both stories having been written by Washington Irving.
All in all, Stephen King's novels rarely translate well on screen, but The Dead Zone is an exception to
this rule.
Deadfall (1968)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/20
6/20:
One of the best Michael Caine films from the 60's is Deadfall.
With a touch of Chinatown, it's
To Catch a Thief crossed with
The Thomas Crown Affair. More
about the dark psychology with weird undertones than the caper, there's a lot to like, but it has a couple of glaring negatives.
Strengthened by the excellent camera work, stylish editing, and John Barry's score, the cinematography is top-notch
with tasteful in/exterior sets. It's hard to believe the movie was shot during the 60's which would have looked
dated by now, but that's not so. The colors are perfect against the backdrop of Majorca, Spain, blending in well
with the fashions, putting Edith Head to shame.
Next is the acting. About to hit his stride, Michael Caine is very good and looks a lot more polished than he was as Harry
Palmer. This time, he sells it too well. To meet his standard of excellence are Eric Portman, for the final performance of his
career, and the beautiful Giovanna Ralli. The film moves at a brisk pace because of how well they work
together through their conversations.
Now for the negatives, it's the screenplay plus an actress who doesn't belong in the film. Yes, the dialogue is
pristine, full of class, and sophistication. However, I will say 30% of it doesn't make any sense. That's why I'm compelled to call
Deadfall a strange film. Um, so...the old man was Fé's father after all? I'm not buying it; regardless, its a
daring move at the time. As for the miscast actress, Nanette Newman is the director's wife; need I say more?
The most unbelievable part is Michael Caine's character letting go of himself to fall down about fifteen feet
while making a ninety degree rotation in midair before clasping his hands on the ledge. Ah...I don't think so, and that's
not possible with the little fingers trying to stop at least 400 pounds of motion force. But it's a great
concept nevertheless.
All in all, convoluted or not, Deadfall is a sumptuously made picture.
Deadly Friend (1986)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/19
11/19:
The first thirty minutes of Deadly Friend had me saying, "Hey, the Master of Suck got something good going here,"
before the shit hit the fan.
Wes, Wes, Wes....never kill the goose that lays the golden egg, you fucking idiot. That's what he did with BB, which is a
ripped-off concept from Short Circuit, by allowing batshit crazy Anne Ramsey (now, you know why there's
Throw Momma from the Train) to shoot it to death and then proceeding to have the 16-year-old Kristy Swanson's character
killed by her fucked-up child molester for a father. Once they were gone, so went the film...down in the drain for the next
hour.
I thought Paul wanted to bring Sam back so he can have his own sex toy. Other than that, I fail to see a good reason.
Her mind is just blank, and she understands nothing or can't communicate. So, how is Paul labeled as a "genius"? Wes
Craven won't know what that word means because he is so fucking stupid. Paul's mother is an idiot, too. If he's so worried
about Sam going around to do weird things, why not unplug her brain?
Oh, yeah...that Anne Ramsey's head being blown up by a basketball? Who the fuck cares? It was stolen from
Scanners which
adds nothing here. By the way, how can Sam have the strength of the Terminator when she only has a chip
implanted in her brain which shouldn't produce any physical change?
All in all, Wes Craven is a stupid, hack horror director.
The Deal (2005)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/08
12/08:
As evidenced by Alone in the Dark, Christian Slater makes 2005 the nadir of his career by agreeing to star in
The Deal.
What the heck happened to him? I'm surprised it has a couple more of well-known stars: Robert Loggia and
John Heard. Both of them will do a great job anyway.
After watching the movie for a while, I won't say it's terrible given the dialogue and the seriousness of the material.
But the poor direction and ludicrous subplots have annihilated the film before it's over, leaving me stupefied.
Essentially, The Deal is The Firm meets
The Formula but worse.
I've had a hard time believing in the characters based on their looks. They seem inexperienced graduates
fresh out of law school. The need for Selma Blair to be slutty as much as possible undermines the credibility of her character,
and the sexual relationships among the co-workers make it worse. That's why
A Few Good Men ultimately worked by showing respect for professionalism.
When Christian Slater's character is all stressed out because of what's happening around him, it doesn't look believable. By
the time the suspense starts to kick in, he disappears, and Selma Blair steps in. What is that? I can't believe how easy it is
for her to acquire information. Angie Harmon's beauty makes The Deal look like
Miss America's Hollywood Thriller, and she's a Russian spy? Oh, please, give me a break.
Nice going, Mr. Editor, for the poor quick cuts during the first three minutes as if I must be in a hurry.
Every possible element that's conceived must be thrown into
the mix, but none makes a lasting impression. Hence, the director should have cut out three-fourths of them while
focusing more on the acting, the script, and a couple of subplots.
At times, the storyline is followable, but mostly, it's been confusing. I can't believe that, prior to the
important meeting, Christian Slater's character didn't know where the folder file was when he was talking about a deal that's
worth $20 billion. Has he ever heard of a safe?
All in all, just say no to The Deal.
Death of a Prophet (1981)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
4/07
4/07:
I like to think of Death of a Prophet as Morgan Freeman's Hollywood screen test before he hit big.
There isn't much of a story, and the climax is the only thing that the film has going for itself. Also, it's full of historical inaccuracies.
To name a few: Malcolm X's family house wasn't firebombed the night before he died. It occurred much earlier. The death of
Robert F. Kennedy was mentioned, but it didn't happen until three years after Malcolm X was assassinated. Dr. Martin Luther
King, Jr., didn't die, either, until afterwards.
It's impossible to keep track of who anyone is, hence the need for references via captions. And last but not least, Morgan
Freeman doesn't resemble the man himself but gives a serious, pensive performance that probably knocks off what Denzel
Washington did in the other biopic.
All in all, Death of a Prophet is a good try but no cigar.
Death of a Salesman (1985)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
12/16
12/16:
For Death of a Salesman, I read the play several times over the years but hadn't seen the film until now.
I understand there are many versions; however, I'm going with this. First of all, what a great collection
of performances. Dustin Hoffman, Kate Reid, John Malkovich, Stephen Lang, Charles Durning, and David Chandler are all
outstanding, doing Arthur Miller's characters justice.
It's not often a film stays faithful to the printed source, but the 1985 version of Death of a Salesman does.
In fact, it's one of the fewest times you can instruct a struggling reader to read the play first and then
watch the film afterwards to have an idea because it's the clearest vision of what Arthur Miller was trying to present.
The hardest task is to imagine what's going on due to overlapping voices as the scenes transition from one moment to
another which can be confusing at times. So, kudos to Volker Schlöndorff for pulling it off; it's a rare accomplishment.
Perfectly cast, Dustin Hoffman gets Willy Loman right, showing off a lot of naturalism, even with his hands being all
over the place which tends to be a sign of overacting. But in this case, it's not, and there's nothing theatrical going on.
Notice the incompleteness of several buildings as there's no ceiling in one room and a wall also is missing. It's simply a
signal that Death of a Salesman is not a movie but a play.
The reason why I give the film just one point off is that it's not altogether there as a moving tragedy; everybody
does enough to make the production work. I've been mostly convinced, so maybe the next time I see it, it'll probably
get a '10'.
All in all, Death of a Salesman starts off quickly, settles down to a nice pace, and finishes strong.
Death on the Nile (1978)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/21, 4/22
1/21:
Murder on the Orient Express was the one that restarted the cycle of whodunnit pictures, and then, Death on
the Nile came out four years later.
Albert Finney was asked to come back to play Hercule Poirot again but declined. He simply didn't want to undergo
the ordeal of wearing heavy makeup in the heat. It's a shame because he was excellent playing the famed detective.
Happily, his replacement is Peter Ustinov, and he's quite good, if different but more human. He went on to do five more Agatha
Christie films: Evil Under the Sun,
Thirteen at Dinner, Dead Man's Folly,
Murder in Three Acts, and Appointment with Death.
A real treat of such pictures is the all-star cast. Death on the Nile has got it which is
British-majority/American-minority: Peter Ustinov, Lois Chiles, Bette Davis, Mia Farrow, Jon Finch, Olivia Hussey, George
Kennedy, Angela Lansbury, Simon MacCorkindale, David Niven, Maggie Smith, and Jack Warden. That's 28 Oscar nominations among
them with eight wins and one Honorary Oscar.
Another is the picturesque location shots of Egypt, especially the Great Pyramids, the Sphinx, and the temples at Abu
Simbel and Karnak. I didn't know anyone could climb the pyramids. That being said, the cinematography is outstanding. A paddle
steamer is featured which goes up and down on the Nile River.
Of course, it's convenient to have everybody on the same boat, and all had the motive to kill Linnet Ridgeway Doyle. The
only question is: who did it? Honestly, I figured it out way early only that I didn't know how it was done. Poirot's walkthrough
of the crime is keen, and there are some moments of extreme violence that make Death on the Nile an
unusual murder mystery picture.
It's also hard to go wrong with an Anthony Shaffer screenplay. The lines are well-written and easy to listen to. Once the
script is set with excellent players in place, they only need costumes to perfect the period, hence the sole Oscar win. By
far, the funniest part, apart from the manager being accused of murder in case of misidentification, is the Egyptian children
mooning unexpectedly at Bette Davis after waving at her from afar.
All in all, despite the lesser all-star treatment, Death on the Nile is a lot better than
Murder on the Orient Express because it's more engaging, easier to figure out, and more fun to watch.
4/22:
Dropping my rating from '9' to '8', Death on the Nile remains a well-made film.
It's just that the first half is slow. By the time Simon is shot, things finally start to cook, and Peter Ustinov steps
in to fill Albert Finney's large shoes quite nicely. I like the last half hour when he explained everything. It's still
ingenious although I knew the initial shooting incident had been faked. Of course, I wasn't afraid of the cobra because of
the reflecting glass.
All in all, patience will pay off when you stick with Death on the Nile longer.
Death Wish (1974)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
7/07, 8/19
7/07:
Death Wish is the one that made Charles Bronson internationally famous, and he was 52 years old.
It's also the same film that got him the moniker: Charles Fucking Bronson. Here's the story of how it got made:
Michael Winner and Charles Bronson got together one day to discuss a future project after completing The Stone Killer.
The actor asked the director, "What shall we do next?"
Winner replied that he had a script for Death Wish which was about a husband whose wife was murdered and daughter
sexually assaulted. Afterwards, he got to kill random muggers who had nothing to do with what happened.
"I'd like to do that," Bronson said. "The film?" He replied, "No...shoot muggers."
Death Wish is an awesome jolt of a ride, putting the stamp on the meaning of vigilantism. I love how thought-provoking
the plot is because I'm like, "Why the hell not?" This is not the type of movie that features senseless Chuck Norris
bam-bam-bam-shoot-'em-up-and-let's-go-home mindless drivel. It's also not about the abuse of police powers
à la Dirty Harry.
Rather, Death Wish is about one man who lost his family through extreme violence and wanted to find a way to vent out
his anger. Of course, closure will never happen, but Paul Kersey continues to forge a warpath because he's simply addicted to
killing. Too often, movies are about specific enemies, but this one lets it go by shifting the focus on a wide scale: all
bad guys are now game which proves vigilantism doesn't work because of the potential of killing innocent people.
There's no question that Charles Bronson is terrific, and he's Charles Bronson perfect. It's the trademark role of
his career. If I want to define the phrase "judge, jury, and executioner," I think of Paul Kersey. There exists a detective who
understands fully too well of what's going on. Combine both, and what we have here is a hell of a picture.
Death Wish is gritty, haunting but controversial that provides an insight into the actions of a man who takes
law in his own hands. Yet are the cops doing enough? Are the city politicians doing enough? Is anybody doing enough? It
seems like no one is. When Paul Kersey does it, he makes everybody wake up and smell the coffee. Because of fear, the
mugging rate goes down, so why is it a bad thing? Well, let's be real: his actions are illegal and downright
stupid, bringing back the days of mob justice and quick lynching which were often done with black people. It just opens up a
can of worms with disastrous results.
All in all, Death Wish is unique, and no one will replace Charles Bronson as Paul Kersey.
8/19:
The film that made Charles Bronson an overnight international star is Death Wish which put vigilantism on the map.
The reasons behind his character's actions seem sound, but it's illegal with innocent lives at risk. One movie
I can think of to counteract it is The Ox-Bow Incident. Obviously, Charles Bronson gives a great performance, and it's
easy to feel for his character.
All in all, when I think of Charles Bronson, I think of Death Wish.
Death Wish 3 (1985)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
10/07
10/07:
Death Wish 3 is an absurd, over-the-top, and ridiculous action-packed picture, and I was 100% entertained.
At the beginning, it seems too fast-paced, but things are better as time goes on. The final twenty minutes is explosive as
ever. Far superior to the previous sequel, the third part has originality, contains scenes that defy logic, and is thus fun to
watch. Ever notice that every time Paul Kersey is with a female, she winds up dead?
One scene, when a couple of punks rob parts of Kersey's car, he points out, "It's my car," and then shoots them in plain sight
before walking away to rejoin the people that he's having dinner with. Another comedy gold is when he said, "Chicken's good.
I like chicken."
Charles Bronson once again delivers a tough guy performance while he's backed by a great supporting cast that includes Martin
Balsam and Ed Lauter. Mandy Fraker, who's played by Gavan O'Herlihy, is a worthy, formidable adversary.
Now, here's the pressing question: is Death Wish 3 better than the original? It's interesting. I have to say that
it's the best of the franchise for being a violent, absurd, and funny picture. Hence, a Hollywood rule must be this: if a
sequel must be produced, it has to top the original in any way possible, even if the insanity route is taken.
All in all, Death Wish 3 is a cinematic masterpiece.
Death Wish 4: The Crackdown (1987)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/07
10/07:
Charles Bronson is at it again in Death Wish 4: The Crackdown.
It's a typical Death Wish flick but with a made-for-TV feel. Finding out who the director was, it's J. Lee Thompson.
I hate his style. Many scenes are cheesy. The introduction is horrid, but the good thing is that it's only a dream.
Near the fish/drug shop, Paul Kersey is engaged in a shootout with well over hundred of bad guys and comes away unscathed.
It's hardly likely. Charles Bronson isn't bad and makes the third sequel work.
My theory is still proven true when it comes to the women Paul Kersey has for a girlfriend or daughter as they've become
the fifth and sixth victims of the franchise. Perhaps he should rethink getting involved with anyone or, at least,
warn them by saying, "If you want to be with me, you may end up dead...no, seriously."
All in all, Death Wish 4: The Crackdown is enjoyable to a certain extent.
Death Wish II (1982)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/07
10/07:
Death Wish II is an unnecessary sequel.
In fact, there's no point. Paul Kersey has a daughter who was brutally traumatized because of what happened in the
original, right? So, I have a question: why move to Los Angeles? I mean, why? Think about it. Paul Kersey relocates from one
violent metropolis to another violent metropolis. But there are hundreds of small cities around the United States
that are far safer.
The first fifteen minutes is brutal, leading to the conclusion that the movie shouldn't be viewed by everyone. From there on,
Paul Kersey resumes his usual routine to get his revenge. It marks the beginning of me not giving a crap anymore
because the only person to blame is Paul Kersey for relocating to Los Angeles which is like asking for it.
Why the original worked is that it was unique and a damn good movie. But this one repeats everything that have happened
without justification. Since there are three more sequels to go, I'll make a prediction what the starting point may
be for each: Kersey's mother is raped in the third part, Paul is raped in the fourth, and a necrophile will do his worst on
Paul's deceased daughter for the finale.
All in all, skipping Death Wish II is a good idea unless you find rape exhilarating.
Death Wish V: The Face of Death (1994)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
10/07
10/07:
Charles Bronson is back, and he's kicking some ass.
No...not really. What we have here is a seventy-two-year-old man who's at the verge of breaking down and is about to wither
away. Don't get me wrong. I like Charles Bronson, but this is over.
Death Wish V: The Face of Death provides another round of new villains who are ready to be slaughtered like lambs.
One of them is a Jack Nicholson wannabe who should never appear in movies again. Another is a Steve Buscemi look-alike who's
rather suited to be Kersey's nemesis because of his polished acting skills.
Obviously, the production values are low which has left me worn out. The dialogue is hackneyed. Hence,
all I'm left with is wishing for Paul Kersey to blast everybody away sooner than expected and then blast away everybody
behind the scenes. It's so hard to believe, under this heavy fire which is rounds and rounds of ammunition, Paul Kersey
manages to escape unscathed. The current title leaves me puzzled because for exactly what reason does Paul Kersey have a
death wish?
All in all, Death Wish V: The Face of Death is the worst of them all, setting up a new Hollywood rule: don't make
another when the franchise hits number four.
Deathtrap (1982)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/05, 5/25
5/25:
There's a great deal of back and forth in how I feel about Deathtrap.
When Michael Caine is doing so well with occasional moments of terrific acting, here comes the stiff Christopher
Reeve to tear down the momentum. It's awkward to see them kiss in one scene (both drank so much in order to go
through it). Out of the blue, Irene Worth shows up as Helga Ten Dorp with her ESP bullshit. Lost in the mix
is the semi-terrible acting performance by Dyan Cannon who's also treated poorly by Michael Caine's character.
Many viewers have mentioned Sleuth for comparison. I can see how that
is, but both films aren't on the same level. For starters, Anthony Shaffer's screenplay is high quality while
Deathtrap is too talky. Then, there's the unbeatable pairing of Laurence Olivier and Michael Caine.
It's easy to see a lot of give and take between them whereas Michael Caine does a lot of the giving
in Deathtrap. Worst of all, the story makes little sense, and I was constantly unsure whether or not
the deaths of several characters were for real. The lightning effect is patently overdone.
All in all, Deathtrap is an uneven play-turned-film picture.
Deceived (1991)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/25
6/25:
The production value may be high in Deceived, but it's one of the dumbest and most predictable
thrillers made.
Obviously, Goldie Hawn sleepwalks through her role of the wife named Adrienne. What's with her disinterested,
soulless eyes? I can see Goldie Hawn working in McDonald's and asking, "Do you want fries with that?" for the
umpteenth time. Or proceeding to pump gas at WaWa in some Bumville, New Jersey, after getting the perfunctory
answer to "regular or premium?"
How about that Jack Saunders (John Heard) falling down to death after taking a step forward to get the necklace
he had been earnestly searching for? I don't know about you, but I can see what's directly below in
front of me. From the get-go, the director pretty much ruined the suspense factor because there was
something off with Jack.
Why six years? That's a hell of a long time to wait to cash in. Jack was certainly better off living
the good life with Adrienne. How is it possible that he was able to maintain two wives if he's going
to be busy all the time in New York City? By the time Adrienne finds out, all of her friends and co-workers
have simply disappeared for convenience's sake, so she can solve this weird mystery. It must be nice to have
a huge building all to yourself due to intensive renovation work. By the way, who is the guy that died in
the car accident?
All in all, if a little girl has to be so annoying by popping into a scene every now and then, it's a strong
signal that the movie will stink.
Deceiver (1997)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
8/19
8/19:
Think of Deceiver as an actor's film.
That's what it's all about: acting. Yeah, the story is preposterous and silly. It's about a rich epileptic guy outwitting two
idiot detectives and is in love with absinthe which is steeped in myth as it doesn't make anybody hallucinate or cause
neurological disturbances. Since when polygraph results are admissible in courts?
In a way, Deceiver feels like Reservoir Dogs all over again because of Tim Roth and Chris Penn. Both are
excellent, but Michael Rooker's character is a bit weird. He seems to have a thing for sadomasochism. Maybe his wife
should stay away from him? Regardless, Michael Rooker is as good as the other two.
All in all, never mind the convolutions, Deceiver is worthwhile solely for the performances.
The Deceivers (1988)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
12/16
12/16:
If you can't get enough of the Thuggees in
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, then make The Deceivers your
next fix.
The word "thug" has its origins in an Indian gang of thieving assassins who, in the name of the Hindu Goddess Kali, murdered
travelers by strangulation. It would last for six centuries until the British finally formed an intelligence unit to end the
practice prior to the turn of the 20th century.
Hence, it's the basis of the story for The Deceivers which is based on John Masters' eponymous book. If you're familiar
with Ismail Merchant and James Ivory, you can always expect high quality with a distinct novel feel.
You know, it's offensive when white thespians are asked to be black/brownfaced to play foreign characters, but I
don't feel this way here because that's the whole point: a white British soldier goes undercover
by pretending to be an Indian Thuggee to gather intelligence.
So, the real question is: did it work for Pierce Brosnan? Well, I can tell Indians apart, so I'll say, "Um...a little
bit." But I've been more convinced by the makeup job over time. I like the story, and the whole thing is fascinating.
Shot on location around the northwest parts of India for four months, the cinematography is rich, and there are plenty of
references to the Indian culture including the elephant death circle
and the suttee (sati) which is a Hindu practice of the widow throwing herself onto her husband's funeral pyre.
Pierce Brosnan is fine, and I've enjoyed his performance. While watching him, I can't help but say, "He'll be
James Bond in the future." It's a fact that Pierce Brosnan will never escape the identity, no matter how hard
he tries to shake it off.
All in all, The Deceivers, a huge box-office failure, is a well-made Merchant Ivory action-adventure picture that
relies on old-fashioned storytelling.
Decision Before Dawn (1951)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
Decision Before Dawn is the least known Best Picture nominee of the 50's.
When I saw it was "NOMINATED FOR 1951 BEST PICTURE OSCAR" on the DVD cover, I blinked twice and thought to
myself, "Did they have ten nominees at the time?" But nope...the practice ended eight years earlier. After
seeing the film, I've concluded the Academy Awards made a mistake. It has everything to do with the construction
of the story with too much "go over there" during the middle.
The premise didn't initially make sense to me. Neither did the first hour. By the time Oskar Werner was on his own,
things started to get better. When Richard Basehart and Hans Christian Blech were finally shown again
after being absent for so long, there went the entire film. After Oskar Werner's and Hans Christian Blech's
characters were killed, I suddenly knew they got used for nothing. Plus, I didn't believe they could
keep escaping the Nazis successfully so many times.
Therefore, the best move is to give Oskar Werner the leading role and let him carry the film from start to
finish. That way, he would've been Oscar-nominated easily because he was very good. However, Oskar Werner wasn't
well known yet, having come over from Austria, and this was his first Hollywood film. It's too bad they
discarded him right after, but he would get the chance to make a powerful impact in
Ship of Fools and
The Spy Who Came in from the Cold. Meanwhile, the
cinematography is excellent with the bombed-out German cities being for real.
All in all, fans of Oskar Werner will be glad to see him in Decision Before Dawn, but it's a
disappointing movie overall.
Decoy (1946)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
1/09
1/09:
Decoy makes for a below average viewing.
Although the introduction gets me in the mood, each second of the running time feels thrice as long. To prevent
myself from falling asleep or losing motivation, the well-crafted story has sustained my interest.
I like the use of femme fatale the most, especially in the mischievous way that she turned the tables on the men. With the
exception of Jean Gillie, the acting is poor, but somehow, the characters convey a noirish feel. However,
their apathy has been bothersome along with the sluggish pace.
To finish the whole thing off on a positive note, the ending is ironically delicious. Decoy was meant to be a promotional film for
Jean Gillie when it came out in 1946, but she died of pneumonia three years afterwards at the age of 33. I think
she showed a good deal of promise.
All in all, Decoy might be a better film noir picture if the pace was sped up more.
Deep Cover (1992)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/05, 9/10, 11/15, 4/20
6/05:
Deep Cover comes off as somewhat amateurish, but the story is good.
Laurence Fishburne gets high marks for bringing style to the table. Had the role gone to, say, Larenz Tate, it
wouldn't work. Jeff Goldblum is surprisingly good, but Charles Martin Smith is more of a disappointment and can
use more screen time.
All in all, Deep Cover is an intriguing neo-noir.
9/10:
Marred by awkward start, Deep Cover creates momentum as soon as Roger Guenveur Smith's character is killed.
From there on, Bill Duke shows what style is all about, and he does it with a big dose of neo-noir. Laurence
Fishburne is the coolest ever when he glances at somebody with his sexy eyes. I
love Jeff Goldblum here, too. In spite of appearing miscast on screen, he's a natural actor.
The story is filled with twists and turns in the middle of an intricate maze of drug dealing. It's been
done before, but Laurence Fishburne's presence and Bill Duke's neo-noir style are the reasons why the
film stands apart from the pack.
All in all, Deep Cover is my all-time favorite Laurence Fishburne picture.
11/15:
If you want to see a great Laurence Fishburne film, Deep Cover should be the first choice.
4/20:
Deep Cover never disappoints me.
Never being this good before or since then, Laurence Fishburne hits all the right notes and is at his sexiest
because of his eyes. The neo-noir look is excellent and serves him well. Jeff Goldblum is a treat as he
gets to play the bad guy probably for the first time in his career besides
Death Wish.
Yes, the film is hurt by some of the exaggerated acting early on, but as soon as Roger Guenveur Smith's character
is killed, it's when things start to take off. The plot is interesting because I kept wondering when it's time
for John Hull to get out of the situation. Slowly losing his faith in what's right and wrong, he's been blinded
by money, power, and, most of all, pussy.
All in all, I wish there were more movies in the same vein of Deep Cover for Laurence Fishburne.
Deep Impact (1998)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
Deep Impact is a thought-provoking disaster film.
Given the ambitious theme, the offered solutions are too simplistic. The way the U.S. President handled the situation is
among the worst of all time. The first moment he mentions the grave danger facing the world, the United States as a
legitimate country vanishes just like that. As a result, there will be anarchy and looting.
At the time the movie was made, there were about 280 million people living in the U.S. Let's say it employed, give or take,
one million military service members. They still won't be able to withstand 200+ million anarchists. Sure, a million or so
will be shot dead during the initial wave, but eventually, it becomes overwhelming by sheer force of numbers.
So, they take over the country, and what's next? That's the true problem. It'll be pretty much free-for-all. Forget food,
water, toilet stuff, and whatever else. They're gone. Going outside will be tricky as there's the risk of being shot for fun.
People going for the highest elevation possible whether it's the Rocky Mountains (I suppose that's the most ideal place) or
the Appalachian Mountains (second best choice), it'll be quite dangerous and also at a premium cost as the spots will be
heavily guarded all over.
Probably for months before the comet ever comes, food and water will have run out en masse, and everybody will be hungry
and thirsty. That becomes a new problem. Forget buying anything with dollar bills; they'll have no value anymore. Gold is
the new standard. And that's it. Everybody is going to have to wait it out and hope for the best. Oh, yeah...it'll be a
good idea to keep scuba diving gear handy along with the dry suits if they ever manage to live that long.
Or we can backtrack and try a better idea: the U.S. President shuts up about what's really happening and does things much
quietly by selecting people via lottery and escorting them secretly to an undisclosed location which can be done for a long
while. When people on the outside finally figure out the big picture by looking at the sky, that's when chaos begins, but
it'll be too late for them. Therefore, they'll have to fend for themselves by doing whatever they can do. Yeah, the
situation sucks, but the United States has always been a selfish, reactive country.
By the way, the White House knew what's going on in outer space ahead of time by a year, so why didn't it, even with the
help of other countries, start building plenty of space rockets in record time and then launch ten to twenty of them with
nuclear warheads? They'll have a bunch to work with to keep blowing the comet into pieces as much as possible.
Given what I've seen out of the film, I'm not happy with the presented stories. The characters are all good-looking white
people with no issues. What about the others who are black, Latino, Asian, fat, disabled, homeless, in prison or hospital,
and so on? There's zero attention paid to them. Oh, I get it...they aren't important like how it happened in
When Worlds Collide.
Back to the lottery, I refuse to believe it'll be simple. This is what will happen: rich people and celebrities are going
to be selected. The more money they have, the better their chances are. It will include their trophy wives, relatives, and
anybody else with connections. The whiter and better-looking they are, the easier it is to get in that stupid cave somewhere
in Missouri.
Oh, all right...we can forget everything I've said and take the easy way out by having the comet hit Earth, killing
virtually everybody. All left at the end will be a dead silence among the audience, leaving them with the following single
thought: "Oh, well...that's life." By the way, I want to mention one thing that I've found absolutely useful which should
be implemented in movies that deal with a complicated subject matter, especially in war, and it's when the anchor reporter
(Téa Leoni) explained in layman's terms of what the astronauts were doing up there in outer space.
All in all, Deep Impact invites too many questions, and almost all are impossible to answer until the event
actually happens.
The Deer Hunter (1978)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/05, 4/09, 7/19
4/09:
The first time I saw The Deer Hunter, I didn't like it because of the long running length plus the slow pace.
After seeing it again, my opinion is more improved. The Deer Hunter is a well-made movie although it's still
slow. In hindsight, the Vietnam epic marks the first, the only, and the last time that Michael Cimino proved he
could direct.
The blue-collar life as portrayed doesn't appeal to me. It's because I don't give a fuck about these beer-guzzling
Pittsburgh idiots. What peeves me the most is the numerous meaningless moments. Often, I'm supposed to feel
something, but nothing happens. A good example of what I mean occurs at the end with Robert De Niro and Meryl
Streep. For some reason, Michael Cimino wants to hold the moment for as long as possible, leaving me exasperated
when I just wanted the movie to end already.
Nonetheless, the story isn't bad, but it feels underdeveloped or, rather, underwhelming at times. Obviously, the
most powerful scenes involve Russian roulette. Without them, I seriously doubt The Deer Hunter would've
won Best Picture.
As for the cast, Robert De Niro stands out the most. John Savage gives the second best performance. They both have
an impressive scene when they rescue their friend. However, I'm not all crazy about Christopher Walken's
Oscar-winning performance. Meryl Streep is annoying to look at because she thinks she's all that. Everybody else
is merely okay.
All in all, The Deer Hunter is only notable for the pièce de résistance: Russian roulette.
7/19:
Anyone could predict what's to come in Heaven's Gate because it's all right
there in the first hour of The Deer Hunter which is a sheer waste of celluloid that's akin to watching
paint dry.
The only reason why the 184-minute Vietnam epic won Best Picture is Russian roulette. There was no evidence of the
game going on at any point during the Vietnam War. Unfortunately, it became the catalyst for wannabes afterwards,
and they did it for real. That's all the people could talk about: Russian roulette. Take it away, and
The Deer Hunter would be forgotten, hence no Best Picture award.
Christopher Walken won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar, but he's okay despite a couple of powerful scenes. Only
Robert De Niro gives the best performance of the ensemble; it's obvious that he put a lot of work into his
character and could be intense.
All in all, there are better Vietnam War pictures than The Deer Hunter.
Defending Your Life (1991)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
12/15
12/15:
Defending Your Life is an interesting movie about what happens after a person dies, especially the judgment
hearing whether he can move forward or go back to earth and try again.
Unfortunately, the concept is too complicated to tackle. At least, Albert Brooks gives a good try. My problem with the
whole thing is: "why fear?" I prefer an examination of person's life that's based on morality. It'll makes more
sense this way because criminals tend to have no fear.
The examination of Daniel Miller's life is sort of sad in a funny way, yet it's unfair to him to be judged in this manner; all
of the acts he committed are just human nature. The other problem is the insistence to deliver one-liners. Sure, they're funny
and witty, but can we stick with the main premise? By the way, Meryl Streep and Rip Torn (one of his better roles,
reminding me of Artie from The Larry Sanders Show) are excellent.
All in all, Defending Your Life feels unsatisfying, but it's a good Albert Brooks film.
The Defiant Ones (1958)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/21
7/21:
The Defiant Ones is a longtime classic about racial harmony that I hadn't seen until now.
As much as I want to like the film, it hasn't aged well and can be dull at times. I'm surprised at the Oscar wins for
Best Writing and Best Cinematography. Some of the dialogue is corny. There's an apparent formula happening. Stanley
Kramer should have focused more on action instead of talk which is the reason why
The Fugitive worked so well.
The Defiant Ones is more well known for Sidney Poitier than Tony Curtis. Both were nominated for Best Actor
with Sidney Poitier being the first black person ever to earn it. However, I have to say Tony Curtis gives a strong
performance while his co-star is merely fine.
Unfortunately, I can see their stunt doubles, especially on the rapids, but they did all of the hard work in the clay pit and
elsewhere. The train scene is dramatic. They described the filming experience as the most physically exhausting
of their careers. By the way, Sidney Poitier can't sing a lick in real life.
All in all, I concede that The Defiant Ones was ahead of its time and should be watched no matter what, but it has lost
a lot of luster by now.
Déjà Vu (1985)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/21
10/21:
It's the structure that kills Déjà Vu.
While I was getting into the flashback segment, it's abruptly switched to the present day. This pattern would
be repeated many times throughout, annoying me to no end.
The best advice I can give to the filmmakers is pick one thread and stick with it for the duration. That being
said, it'll mean eliminating Shelley Winters as the middleman. By the way, how come her character is nowhere to
be found during the flashbacks? I only ask this because how did she, in the present day, know all of this stuff?
The fire makes no sense. What's the point? Why is it so hard to run away from it? What's the mother doing? She
killed her daughter in spite of wanting to protect her. Then, Gregory's fiancée, in some reincarnated form of
the mother, did it again later. Doesn't everybody think the whole thing could've been avoided if he hadn't
pursued the ballerina story in the first place?
Director Nigel Terry does a decent job of keeping me involved, but it's a tall task for him to make the whole
thing work. How he ended the film is poor. Jacyln Smith plays two different characters, but I fail to recognize
her as the same person. Shelley Winters is okay for the most part but is more camp than not, especially the way
she said her lines. Playing a villain perhaps for the first time of her career, Claire Bloom needs Richard Burton
to slap her in the face.
All in all, Déjà Vu plays out like a standard telefilm with no style.
Déjà Vu (2006)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
10/23
10/23:
This may be hard to believe, but Déjà Vu is now the most New Orleans movie ever made.
There have been others such as A Streetcar Named Desire,
Pretty Baby, and Angel Heart, but they all
failed to include numerous shots of the city per se. Well, Déjà Vu finally corrects the error.
I've been to Algiers, and there's a paved asphalt called the Mississippi River Trail, which is also known as
the Levee Path, on the left and right sides of the ferry terminal. As a matter of fact, I was there a few months
ago but had absolutely no idea that the movie was shot on location there. It's keen at any rate.
Denzel Washington re-teams with Tony Scott to make an interesting sci-fi flick, and this time, the results are a lot better
than anticipated. There's a weird time travel component involved, but the logic is sound, especially when
Denzel Washington's future copy
dies while the present version shows up to Claire Kuchever's amazement. Yet the whole premise is impossible due to
the amount of technology that's required to make it happen.
By the time the mystery is cleared up while the needless romance subplot is being played, the film starts to sour in a big way,
hence my low rating of '7'. I do admit that the concept is thought-provoking and ingenious at times with applications coming from
Enemy of the State. Meanwhile, I'm surprised to see how little utilized Val Kilmer is when he could have done
more. The script is a bit hard to understand given the technobabble about the time travel stuff which sounds like
what these stupid sci-fi films did on a regular basis during the 50's.
All in all, Déjà Vu is the best movie that Denzel Washington and Tony Scott had done together.
The Deliberate Stranger (1986)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
I saw The Deliberate Stranger back then, and it's a highly fascinating story about Ted Bundy.
Several actors may be famously associated with a character in spite of giving an okay/fair performance, and
that's what happened to Mark Harmon here. Hence, it's difficult to separate these two. Remember the movie
came out in 1986 and Ted Bundy was still alive. By all accounts, he refused to see it. Just right before
he was electrocuted in 1989, a lot of new information came out which explained how he killed, his
modus operandi, and what he did afterwards.
To this day, nobody knows how many women Ted Bundy murdered, if the discovered bodies were in fact attributed
to him, or how far back he went when he started killing. Officially, he covered seven states (California,
Colorado, Florida, Idaho, Oregon, Utah, and Washington), but there's a suspicion of more.
Ted Bundy certainly ranks at the top when it comes to "serial killers." But the term wasn't in vogue at
the time until he and others came along during the 70's and he wasn't the first, either (think of Jack
the Ripper). What made Ted Bundy stand apart from pretty much everybody is he had high IQ, wasn't ugly,
behaved normally in public, blended in well with connected people, targeted middle class women, and
committed his crimes brazenly in broad daylight.
Not having an organized task force contributed to the elusiveness of Ted Bundy for years. There were thousands
pieces of leads which resulted in hundreds of thousands of hours in manpower across many states. And they still
couldn't figure out who did it. That's why, in the film, the detectives talked about the need for a computer
to put everything together and then sort them out. But it only took a speeding incident, a needle in a haystack,
to apprehend Ted Bundy who was staking out the neighborhood for burglary very early in the morning.
Speaking of high IQ, Ted Bundy was actually a failure in life. You may hear him going to law school and
all that, but he never did well. Almost everything he owned, he stole which explains his philosophy about life.
Another thing that the movie conveniently leaves out is after Ted Bundy murdered women he had sex with them and
came back to their bodies days or weeks later in the woods for some more, even if they were still decomposing.
He also severed their heads and kept them in his apartment.
Ted Bundy would've been free in a year or two after he was found guilty of kidnapping in Utah. It's because
the woods, along with nature, provided a perfect means to eliminate any trace. However, he made
the mistake of escaping twice, and when he committed mass murder at Florida State University, that
became enough evidence to sent him away for good without being tried for any previous murder,
hence the numerous unsolved cases. He attempted to trade information with the police for closure in exchange
of staying his execution date, but it didn't ultimately work in his favor because they wanted none of
his mind games.
All right, back to the film...it's quite accurate in just about everything (and yep, he flew to Chicago from
Denver), as confirmed by one of Ted Bundy's defense lawyers Polly Nelson, despite not telling enough with many
names changed. The first part starts off slowly and then picks up the pace while the second part
gets to the point and stays with it throughout. One nice job the filmmakers have done is making sure that
grief was felt and shown by the victims' loved ones. Even the investigators were impacted by the work.
All in all, no study of Ted Bundy can be complete without seeing The Deliberate Stranger.
Delirious (1991)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/18, 2/22
4/18:
Here's a film that I saw many times during the early 90's: Delirious starring John Candy.
Basically, it's about a writer of a daytime TV soap opera who wakes up, after passing out, in his own creation and can
shape the outcome of what's happening by using his typewriter.
I've found the plot clever, and the movie still holds up today. It's a lot of fun to watch, and this one has plenty of
good moments. Poor guy, the heiress' brother keeps falling apart in appearance. To this day, I still remember many great
lines such as:
"Of course! The Sherwoods hired Robert Wagner! It's Sweeps Week!"
"They're tryin' to kill me! Goddamn you, Fetterman!"
"What a mistake Len was. Boy, did we get letters."
"I can't...this can't be! I...I must be dead. I am dead! I'm in hell! And my punishment...is spending eternity on my own show!"
"Robert Wagner! Wow!"
"I have to go to...Cleveland? Jesus, I hate Cleveland!"
It's evident that good writing is the key. With the exception of Muriel Hemingway, the acting isn't bad, but the flow can
be inconsistent at times. I won't go so far as to call it a "laugh out loud" picture, but I appreciate the ingenuity.
By the way, it's the final film for Raymond Burr who's eternally famous as Perry Mason.
All in all, Delirious is a long forgotten cult flick that deserves a look, and getting John Candy on board goes a
long way.
4/18:
Delirious earns a strong '7', weak '8' from me.
It's a clever, funny movie with a lull here and there. The characters are well-sketched. There are many moments that are
appropriately soap operatic. John Candy is terrific; it's one of his top five pictures. Emma Samms is also good as Rachel
Hedison/Laura Claybourne. As Blake who keeps falling apart, Dylan Baker is unforgettable. I feel bad for Mariel Hemingway at
times, but it works out well at the end. Raymond Burr appears in the final film of his career.
All in all, Delirious will never get old and is a funny, enjoyable John Candy movie.
Deliverance (1972)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/05, 2/17, 5/20
2/17:
"What did happen on the Cahulawassee River?"
The answer to that question is: a lot of bad shit. It's impossible to separate Deliverance from banjo
music, the Appalachian Mountains, whitewater rafting, the sound of a squealing pig, and hillbillies. Why...there's
a shirt that says: "Paddle faster! I hear banjo music."
Hence, Deliverance is famous for all the wrong reasons, but it's a fantastic movie experience. Burt
Reynolds, Jon Voight, Ned Beatty, and Ronny Cox (the latter two in their feature film debuts) are outstanding
and did their own stunts.
Let's be truthful here: it's Burt Reynolds, in a breakthrough role, who steals the show. He later called it "the
best film I've ever been in." John Boorman offers an amusing anecdote as to the difference between him and Jon
Voight in terms of their acting preparation:
"Voight is method. So, if he had a scene where he was supposed to be out of breath, he'd say, 'I need a
three-minute warning, so I can get out of breath' and he'd run, so he could be out of breath. Burt would say,
'I need twenty seconds,' and he'd squirt a spritzer on himself and breathe hard."
The most memorable of the cast is Billy Redden, the weird-looking "dueling-banjos" kid with seemingly birth
defects. Although he didn't know how to play, somebody put his left arm through him and played it while he
provided the inbreed look and strummed the banjo with his right hand.
As for the death of Ronny Cox's character Drew, it's unknown whether he was actually shot or not. I didn't hear
anything. It's also unclear if he threw himself into the water. Since no autopsy was performed, the only
conclusion I can make is Drew was never shot in the first place. He may have been overcome by guilt and
just passed out.
All in all, Deliverance is a timeless classic.
5/20:
Deliverance is a classic picture of the 70's.
However, a rating of '9' is my ceiling for it. The only reason why I watched the film again is Burt Reynolds.
He does the finest acting job of his career, transforming himself into a bona fide superstar. Once Burt Reynolds'
character was taken out of commission after breaking his leg, Jon Voight tried to keep the momentum going, but
alas, he didn't have it. Hence, Burt Reynolds should've been Oscar-nominated despite posing nude in an issue
of Cosmopolitan.
What's impressive about Deliverance is that it looks real. The actors did their stunts during the
whitewater trip with Jon Voight scaling the cliff. Burt Reynolds doing the flip from the canoe in the middle
of the rapids is an amazing sight, and it resulted in a broken tailbone for him. Ned Beatty has the thankless
role of putting up with the rape scene while Ronny Cox provides the much-needed emotional balance in spite of
what had transpired.
By the way, the sheriff at the end is James Dickey. He's the author of the book. The film was shot on location
in Rabun County in northeastern Georgia which is now completely flooded, dwelling 130 feet below Lake Jocassee.
All in all, when I think of Deliverance, I think of Billy Redden, the dueling banjos, and, most of
all, Burt Reynolds.
Delta of Venus (1995)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/15
7/15:
Hoping to get my Zalman King fix, Delta of Venus more or less misses the mark, is silly at times, and isn't
erotic enough.
The lack of passion is immediately felt because there's little chemistry between Audie England and Costas Mandylor
although both possess the foreign look. They do what they can with the material but don't have what it takes to win me over
with their supposed heat.
Ironically, the anonymous buyer cautioned Elena in one of his letters to focus more on sex and less on her poetic language
when the opposite should have happened. The result is a loss in momentum because of the overplayed sex scenes. Once it happens,
Delta of Venus is no longer mysterious or interesting and is thus two levels below
9½ Weeks,
Lake Consequence, and Two Moon Junction.
For most of the time, there's no plot. Conflict is delivered too late. By the time it comes,
it's laughable. Often, I've forgotten the movie takes place in 1940 during WWII when it feels like it was
shot at some exotic Eastern Europe city (actually Prague, not Paris) in 1995.
On the plus side, Delta of Venus has great cinematography and editing which are very much like Zalman King,
saving the film from going under. That's why he has a knack for turning a softcore porn flick into a work of art. He also knows
who to get when it comes to the cast because they're suitable, if androgynous, for a nude picture.
All in all, Delta of Venus needs more subtlety but with less sex shown.
Dementia 13 (1963)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/13
10/13:
Having caught Dementia 13 on TCM, I find it to be an intelligent horror film that's along the same lines of
Psycho and Les Diaboliques.
Moreover, it has plenty of twists and turns to keep me guessing, and the level of horror is unusual for 1963. There are traces
of filmmaking genius in Francis Ford Coppola. By the way, a better replacement for Patrick Magee as the shrink is
Marlon Brando.
All in all, despite what the critics think, Dementia 13 works.
Demolition Man (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/05, 2/25
2/25:
"Send a maniac to catch a maniac."
In my previous viewing of Demolition Man, it was shocking to see Scott Peterson's name in the list for
parole hearing. The murder happened in California just like the movie, and his name was appearing a lot during
the time. So was the fact that Arnold Schwarzenegger went far in politics, only to be stopped at governorship.
After checking out the film again, I'm even more surprised that it predicted a politically correct society,
something I would've never taken seriously in 1993, that has become reality today.
Most sci-fi pictures tend to have at best three to six novel concepts and then struggle to fill in the rest of
the time to be remotely entertaining. But not this one. There's always something new every few minutes. Some
of the stuff have come true, and the others remain to be seen. Perhaps if I watch the film again in
twenty years, they might just happen.
Yet I don't understand this: why are violent criminals allowed to be cryogenically frozen? It's like being
rewarded with an eternal life for a bad deed while the rest of law-abiding citizens will die off. All they have to
do is be out for a month, murder somebody, get frozen for fifty years, and repeat. At the same time, nobody
has ever questioned the thirty murders that John Spartan was found guilty of?
Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes on the same screen? Great. Perfect. Super fun. But Sandra Bullock?
Noooooooooooooooooooo! She absolutely sucks. Her version of sex...please, get out of here. That's why she is a
lesbian. It may be strange to notice Nigel Hawthorne, but he only did it in order to get
The Madness of King George green-lighted which won him an Oscar
nomination.
All in all, I wonder how the "three seashells" method works, but I don't think I want to know.
Demonlover (2002)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
9/21
9/21:
I have no fucking idea what Demonlover is all about.
This crapfest involves low quality image, business talk, travel, hentai, spies, poison, and torture. In other
words, there's nothing interesting going on. At one point, a man's head is blown away while having sex.
Three languages are spoken: French, English, and Japanese. When each is switched, I become more tuned out.
As a result, it's been a struggle for me to stay motivated for two hours.
The theme is desensitization. Okay, cool...is there anything new the filmmakers want to tell me? I'm only asking
this because it's been done to death a thousand times before. The acting is no better, and nobody emotes the
least bit. It's like watching robots.
All in all, Demonlover is a waste of time.
The Dentist (1996)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/15
2/15:
The only reason why I was okay with taking on The Dentist is Corbin Bernsen.
My, my...how he has fallen far from the heyday of L.A. Law. Although supported by the occasional pastel-colored
cinematography to keep the pace lively, it's a throwaway B-grade horror picture.
The title says it all in terms of what to expect, but it's a lot better than
Dr. Giggles with Larry Drake whom I
can't stand. The main difference between these two is soft pornography. I suppose it's to
keep the audience awake and have them stick around for the gratuitous nude shots which aren't much anyway.
I don't like how Corbin Bernsen reacts angrily whenever he has a Feudian moment. When he does that,
his credibility starts to go away. He should be more cool and collected for a professional dentist. This way, he'll be believable. Also, there's a lot of
redundancy in his homicidal behavior while at the office.
All in all, The Dentist is a large barrel of misses.
The Dentist 2 (1998)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/15
2/15:
I'm surprised that The Dentist made enough money to warrant a sequel considering how bad it was.
The sequel doesn't have anything to offer. It's been more of the same plus a bunch of different ways to destroy teeth.
Previously, the cinematography was the only positive aspect, but it's now discarded in order to expand Corbin Bernsen's acting
range.
Corbin Bersen is fine while Clint Howard has a nice cameo. The only part that kept bothering me is while Feinstone was trying
to kill two women, there's a surprise party in the works nearby. How could they not hear?
All in all, The Dentist 2 is thankfully the end of it.
The Departed (2006)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
After completing The Departed, I was left with a mixed bag of feelings.
The more I thought about the film, the more justified I felt. Hence, it gets a '1'. The Departed is so fast-paced that
none of the characters has been properly developed. Basically, it's all about cell phones and whacking people.
The plot sucks while the acting looks overdone. Ditto for the constant profanity. Leonardo DiCaprio thinks he's Robert De Niro.
Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg seem to have gotten off the sets of
Good Will Hunting and Boogie Nights,
respectively. By the way, how the fuck is Marky Mark an actor? He doesn't know how to emote like a human
being; hence, he's been making shit up as he goes along.
All in all, I hope Martin Scorsese enjoys his Oscar by selling himself out; he's now a hack.
Der Fall Gleiwitz (1961)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/07
5/07:
Der Fall Gleiwitz (The Gleiwitz Case) is heavy in style that's visually appealing but is unclear because
there isn't enough dialogue to advance the plot.
The Gleiwitz incident on August 31, 1939, was the staged invasion of a German radio station in Gleiwitz of Upper Silesia,
Germany (now Gliwice, Poland) by the Nazis who pretended to be Polish. The incident provided justification for Adolf Hitler
to invade Poland the next day which was the beginning of the domino effect that led to World War II.
All in all, Der Fall Gleiwitz is an okay film.
Der Untergang (2004)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/14
9/14:
How I got suckered into seeing Der Untergang (German for Downfall) was by watching a few of Hitler parody videos
on YouTube and wondering which film was that from.
The YouTube stuff is funny, but unfortunately, this movie is a waste of time. I already saw
Hitler: The Last Ten Days
and The Bunker with Alec Guinness and Anthony Hopkins, respectively. Even I read the book
The Last Days of Hitler by Hugh Trevor-Roper.
Der Untergang is a remake, scene for scene, of the aforementioned films with a couple of slight differences:
German is instead spoken and high production values. But the rest is a regurgitation of the same details.
So, I ask the filmmakers: what's the point of doing it all over again? Is it just to keep the memory of Adolf Hitler
and his gang of idiots alive? Or is it to paint them as good, caring characters while the Russians are the bad guys? What a
load of dog crap. So are the two interviews with the Nazi secretary who claimed to have no knowledge of the events
during WWII. Another double bullshit.
All in all, Der Untergang is pointless.
Deranged (1974)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/12
5/12:
In a way, Deranged is a biopic of the famous Wisconsin ghoulie Ed Gein.
Although it's not a scary movie, the narrator, especially when he came out of nowhere, did frighten me. Roberts
Blossom gives a good performance, but the story isn't surprising. The last twenty minutes is dull, especially when
the girl survived a gunshot wound to her head.
All in all, the title Deranged says it all.
Descending Angel (1990)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/15, 3/22
6/15:
Descending Angel is a compelling film about a man discovering a dark secret from WWII about his future
father-in-law.
Eric Roberts turns in a decent, believable performance. Diane Lane stays out of the way as much as possible and is
effective when she shares screen time with her co-stars. Amy Aquino has a knack for infusing much-needed momentum
at appropriate times. George C. Scott is masterful as ever.
It's the story that makes Descending Angel highly watchable. Toward the end, I was curious if the director
would opt for a typical Hollywood ending, but it turns out to be the opposite. So, I'm pleasantly surprised with the
outcome; it's almost like a tragedy play.
Of course, it's hard to believe what would've happened if they took a certain route because the unfortunate truth is
most Nazis weren't severely punished for their actions during the Holocaust. Lately, they've been found and then
forced to stand trial for war crimes, but the problem is: they're in their 80's and 90's, having lived most of
their lives as free people. It would have been nice if the prosecution occurred during the first five years post-WWII.
All in all, Descending Angel is an underrated modern thriller with a Holocaust tie-in.
3/22:
I'm downgrading my rating for Descending Angel from '8' to '7'.
The story is absorbing and all, and it's interesting to see the easygoing Eric Roberts against the inflexible
George C. Scott. That's what makes the film work. If exploitative, it also has a nice tie-in with the Holocaust in
Romania although the story is, in many ways, similar to Music Box which is the
superior film.
However, the biggest problem, apart from the nonsensical ending that probably got rushed, is Diane Lane. She's weak
and not a good actress. She doesn't sell the twist well and most likely wants everybody to think she's the best
fuck alive, hence Unfaithful. I hate her unbelieving character which is
annoying to put up with. That's why Jessica Lange was successful in Music Box.
All in all, Descending Angel is the poor man's Music Box.
The Desert Fox (1951)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/14
1/14:
Because of James Mason's performance, The Desert Fox isn't bad of a picture about Erwin Rommel, a well-known Nazi
because of his North Africa campaigns during WWII.
I first read about him through William Shirer's The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, especially
when he recounted the story of how Rommel met his fate. So, I had anticipated it in the film which is a poignant moment.
Of course, there's the story of Operation Valkyrie concerning the assassination attempt on Hitler by Colonel von Stauffenberg
in the bunker compound. A heavy oak table saved him from the briefcase that blew up. Hence, the incident has been shown, saving
anyone the time to see Valkyrie. Finally, not to leave me cheated, an actor, a Jewish no less, gives an
amusing Hitler impersonation that's equal parts of hysterical screaming and lucid behavior.
One lazy approach to filmmaking is the use of stock footage. Unfortunately, it's heavily supplied in The Desert Fox.
Also, at the beginning, the soldiers pretend to be shot. A machine gun is fired on the wooden door,
yet there are no visible bullet holes through it.
All in all, The Desert Fox is a fair film, but I'm not sympathetic with Erwin Rommel's downfall.
Desert Fury (1947)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
My one hundred bucks says Eddie Bendix and Johnny Ryan were absolutely homosexual lovers.
Judging by the way they talked about each other, I have no doubt of it. Take a look at the following dialogue exchange between
Johnny and Paula:
"It was in the automat off Times Square, about 2 o'clock in the morning on a Saturday. I was broke. He had a couple of dollars.
We got to talking. He ended up paying for my ham and eggs."
"And then?"
"I went home with him that night. I was locked out, didn't have a place to stay. His old lady ran a boarding house in the Bronx.
There were a couple of vacant rooms. We were together from then on."
Anyway, Desert Fury is a bad movie because of the lousy, lifeless script that's full of gay undertones. Everybody blabbers
to no end, and the mystery keeps dragging its feet for a long time. A lot of effort is spent on Lizabeth Scott's makeup and
wardrobe, and her character is nineteen years old? Ha!
I only went for the film because of Burt Lancaster. After seeing I Walk Alone, I thought
he and Lizabeth Scott would have another great noir thriller up their sleeve, but nope...not this time. Cast in a worthless
supporting role, Burt Lancaster only appears for five, ten minutes max while Lizabeth Scott wastes her time with John Hodiak (who?)
and Wendell Corey. Mary Astor sure likes using the cigarette holder a lot, huh? Given how her character kept hinting to Paula
not to get on with Eddie Bendix, I thought she meant to say that he's her father, hence the potential weirdness of the
whole thing.
On the positive side, the cinematography is excellent which is very, very Douglas Sirk-like before his colorful films ever showed
up. Desert Fury may appear to have been shot on location (Arizona with some done in California). However, almost the whole
thing was deceptively done on a sound stage with the occasional use of rear projection effect. By the way,
that's a nice-looking 1946 Chrysler New Yorker Town & Country convertible.
All in all, there's no such thing as neo-noir in Desert Fury, but you can count on
quite a lot of gay subtexts in the most subtle and blatant ways possible.
Desert Heat (1999)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/21
2/21:
Desert Heat, aka Inferno, is the worst Van Damme picture made before the turn of the century.
The quality is shockingly low compared to the actor's usual output. I'm surprised to see John G. Avildsen directed
this turkey which would be the last film of his career. Understandably, he opted for the Alan Smithee route by getting
the credit under the name of Danny Mulroon.
So, what happened? Jean-Claude Van Damme's cocaine binge may have done him in for good, but the reality is that he appeared in
three straight flops: Double Team, Knock Off, and Universal Soldier: The Return. Sensing the
audience had grown tired of the Belgian bodybuilder, Sony decided to release Desert Heat straight to DVD.
Although it's a remake of Yojimbo, the unoriginal plot, which is laced with weird elements, reminds me too much of
Bad Day at Black Rock with some
Nowhere to Run thrown in. Of course, the poorly edited film has to take place in
the desert because it's kind on the budget. At one point, Danny Trejo was massaging(!) Van Damme's feet. Talk about
loss of manhood right there.
All in all, RIP Jean-Claude Van Damme's A-list status.
Desert Kickboxer (1992)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/11
6/11:
Desert Kickboxer is so bad that it's hilariously funny.
I can count more stupid moments than my fingers. They're as follows:
One, the corny mediation scene with Hawk, especially high up in the desert hills, is a comedy classic.
Two, Hawk's brother, Anthony, is shot in the chest right near the heart yet survives.
Three, Hawk says Anthony will be fine after being shot, and then, he makes a superficial medical examination before
concluding the bullet went in and out without a problem; afterwards, a bandana is applied on his chest to
stop the bleeding without effort.
Four, Hawk fails to work on Anthony's back where the bullet exited.
Five, after stealing the motorcycle, Hawk creates a makeshift stretcher to carry Anthony in the back despite the bumpy ride.
Six, Hawk decides to take Anthony to his trailer but not the hospital for professional
medical treatment, regardless of how much blood he had lost.
Seven, Claudia is nearly raped yet has sex with Hawk a few hours later.
Eight, Claudia feels nothing about her brother's predicament (some support she is) yet has sex with Hawk outside his
trailer in the middle of the desert.
Nine, if Hawk and Claudia are shown on the bed the next morning in his small trailer, where has Anthony, the
victim of a gunshot wound to the chest, slept?
Ten, Anthony sure looks healthy for somebody who's been shot in the chest.
Eleven, everybody appears clean, wearing pressed clothes, in the middle of the desert.
Twelve, if Hawk got shot in the head, shouldn't he be unconscious for a bit while?
Thirteen, finding groundwater which is muddy, it's clean and free of dirt by the time Hawk drinks it.
Fourteen, for somebody with a great-looking body, Hawk sure knows how to make do with no food.
Fifteen, after Santos dies of being shot and stabbed in the belly, he moves his foot while Hawk is embracing Claudia.
I guess he wasn't comfortable with playing dead for a minute.
Sixteen, no snakes, especially rattlesnakes, are found in the area.
Seventeen, all fight scenes are fake; not a single punch or kick connects.
Eighteen, John Newton, from Alive, has no genuine American Indian blood.
Is Desert Kickboxer meant to be an action-adventure picture or a comedy? I laughed so much throughout.
Nevertheless, I like the cast, especially Sam DeFrancisco as Anthony.
All in all, Desert Kickboxer is comedy gold.
Desert Killer (1952)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
9/14
9/14:
Directed by Larry Lansburgh, Desert Killer is a short film that I caught on TCM recently.
It's about a hunter who traps a mountain lion (which also means cougar) and gives it to a poor family of Indians for road
sideshow to generate money for themselves. Hmm, mucho animal abuse? I only say this because of the mountain lion becoming
bored in no time.
The high rating is a reflective of how the animal was approached and lassoed, making it unreal to watch. So, that's five
minutes of entertainment for me. But I'm not sure how the family can afford to feed the cougar.
All in all, Desert Killer is worth watching for something different.
Desperado (1995)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/03, 4/04, 3/05, 7/05, 5/21
7/05:
Desperado is the Mexican version of Pulp Fiction with lots of style, interesting characters, and beautiful
action-packed scenes.
I remember in 1995 when the film hit the theatre, Antonio Banderas, who's at his sexiest, was all the rage and therefore became
an instant superstar. The people were asking, "Who is that long, dark-haired Latino?" A remake of El Mariachi,
Desperado has a lot of entertaining characters who come and go, enlivening the pace. Also, there are many aesthetic
scenes.
The best part is when El Mariachi walked out of Tarasco Bar, with shadows all over him, and eyed Carolina while the guy was
running for him with guns out behind his back. There's nothing like it. I'm also wowed by the spectacular action
which is ten times more explosive than El Mariachi.
All in all, Desperado is one of those films I can watch over and over.
5/21:
I remember when Desperado hit the theatre in 1995, everybody was going, "Who's that sexy guy?"
It's how Antonio Banderas became a household name. He had been acting for a while before that, but nobody took notice. Hence,
Desperado changed everything for him, and he became an instant A-list star. I wish I could say the same for Salma Hayek,
but I didn't pay much attention to her. She eventually made a name for herself.
Comparisons with El Mariachi are inevitable, but both are completely different. The original is
better in all aspects while the sequel is fun to watch even though it's cartoonish and over the top in the violence department.
What bothers me is the label for Desperado; is it a remake or a continuation? Instead of Carlos Gallardo, Antonio
Banderas is shown shot in the hand with the exact same people from El Mariachi, yet he's going after Bucho, not Moco?
The story is more or less the same. Either way, I'm going to think of it as a separate film with a bit of a
bridge, however implausible, between these two.
Winning points are the high-octane action, fast pace, and, most of all, Antonio Banderas. He has a beautiful scene with varying
shadows when he walks toward Salma Hayek with the guy running after him from behind. Of course, there've been plenty of
times that Antonio Banderas' character should have been killed with guns pointing at him, and there's a low chance of missing.
All in all, Desperado is an entertaining film, thanks to Antonio Banderas.
Desperate (1947)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
Desperate is an above-average picture produced by RKO before Howard Hughes took over the studio.
It's 50% film noir, and that only happens when Raymond Burr shows up. There's a nice touch of the
swinging light during one scene. Otherwise, it's a sappy love story of a couple on the run, and not much happens.
So many times Steve Randall has been shot at, but none of the bullets hits him, not even at close
range. The same is said for him for failing to go incognito such as shaving his head or growing a beard.
At least, the film is only 73 minutes long to not let the contrivances overwhemingly bother me.
I've never heard of Steve Brodie before. An adult version of Keith Coogan, he has done an
okay job of playing the doomed man. Audrey Long is typical, having stopped acting not long after to become the
longtime wife of Leslie Charteris, the author of The Saint books. When I
saw Jason Robards' name in the opening credits, I thought that was the two-time Oscar winner, but it turns out
to be his father. Raymond Burr is excellent as usual, and film noir is his strongest suit,
allowing him to appear as a heavy baddie, but this is his first time ever to play one.
Hey, Ray, here's a free piece of advice: next time...just kill the guy pronto and move on.
All in all, if not for Raymond Burr, Desperate would've gone from B film noir to straight F turkey.
The Desperate Hours (1955)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/10
3/10:
The Desperate Hours is a cliché picture with a predictable ending, but watching Humphrey Bogart and Fredric
March go against each other makes the show special.
It's hard to decide who to root for: the bad guy in Bogart or the hero in March. Obviously, Humphrey Bogart's
star power is overwhelming to have no sympathetic feeling for his side, but Fredric March actually prevails at the end and
therefore wins the contest.
All in all, displaying plenty of noir, The Desperate Hours is fine film at the hands of William Wyler.
Desperate Measures (1998)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
3/08
3/08:
I remember seeing Desperate Measures in 1998 and thinking how stupid it was.
Fast forward ten years later, and guess what? It's stupider than ever. Maybe Stupid Measures is the appropriate title?
I'm pretty sure it killed the A-list careers of Andy Garcia and Michael Keaton since they have done nothing
notable since then. Although their acting isn't the problem, it's the nonsensical plot that ruined the movie.
I'm bothered by the cop's selfish actions to save his boy. What about the donor patients on the waiting list who
are ahead of him? Is it fair to them? Equally important, should saving the cop's son be done at the expense of lives by trying
to catch the dangerous felon? Given the fact that Peter McCabe has an IQ of 150, can't he think of an
easier way to escape? What Dr. Richard Kimble did wasn't as halfway drastic.
When McCabe was lifting "weights," I noticed he used plastic bags of water. They can't be more than a gallon which is
eight something pounds. On the other hand, the cop's son looks healthy for somebody who's supposed to be at
death's door. Should I find it hard to believe, after asking a dangerous felon to donate his bone marrow, he'll
say, "Oh, sure...no problem"? Anyway, Michael Keaton looks like he needs hair plugs, or are they actually hair plugs?
All in all, Desperate Measures is a boring nonthriller with an unmatched level of stupidity.
Desperately Seeking Susan (1985)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
8/20
8/20:
Desperately Seeking Susan has a reputation, but after seeing the film, I'm afraid it's been unwarranted.
I was alive and conscious during most of the 80's, but Madonna held no appeal for me.
Desperately Seeking Susan may have ran a lot on HBO back then, but this is my first time seeing the
film after all these years which should tell you a lot about how much I don't care for her.
The plot is thin and dumb that was probably written by an airhead. Unsurprisingly, Leora Barish's next credit
came in 2006 for Basic Instinct 2, and there's been nothing else
in between besides a throwaway direct-to-video picture.
Audrey Hepburn was cute in Roman Holiday. Debra Winger was classy in
An Officer and a Gentleman. Julia Roberts was timeless in
Pretty Woman. But Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan? Uh, no.
Failing to be charming for one minute, she's sexless and has dated fashion sense.
The rest of the cast is filled with A-list names, but unfortunately, they're stuck with D material and do their
best anyway. Comedy isn't Rosanna Arquette's forte, and her "fish out of the water" character isn't believable.
Like John Turturro, Aidan Quinn is at the nascent point of his career while Will Patton looks stupid along with
the bad dye job.
All in all, having seen most of Madonna's films, I can now confirm she has zero acting talent.
Det sjunde inseglet (1957)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
3/09
3/09:
What's a favorite film for pseudo-intellectuals?
Easy, it's The Seventh Seal which is English for Det sjunde inseglet. Oh, awesome...a knight plays a game of
chess with the Grim Reaper, and my mind is absolutely blown away by it. Not.
After seeing Last Action Hero, I did promise myself that I would get around to seeing The Seventh Seal. Now, I
have, but I wish that I didn't. Only if Ingmar Bergman could make the conversations more relevant while not putting me to
sleep. At least, it's a nice-looking black-and-white film which isn't saying much. There's no doubt that Max von Sydow and
Bengt Ekerot are the standouts.
All in all, foreign means overrated, and The Seventh Seal is just that.
The Detective (1968)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
Bringing back some of the same people on the production team from Tony Rome, I thought
The Detective would be better, but it turns out not to be the case.
From the outset, the editing is what hurt the film the most. Then, I'm taken from one story to another and to another. What's
this...an anthology of a policeman's life? That's not what I signed up for. I want to see Frank Sinatra working on a
murder case in the neo-noir sense. Instead, I'm given Lee Remick's infamous long stares after hearing her character is a
no-good cheating bitch. Hey, thanks, but no thanks. Here's a fun fact: the actress was twenty years Frank Sinatra's junior.
After the initial case was quickly solved, I knew right away the detective didn't get his man. Of course, a predictable
twist comes later, and it's exactly what I thought only that I didn't understand why my time was wasted on the wife for
so long. Ditto for the useless flashbacks which are sometimes comical when Frank Sinatra was meant to be way younger
in some of them.
At first, Robert Duvall and Al Freeman, Jr., do their own thing, and then, they disappear for good in the long run. Next,
Jacqueline Bisset shows up as Norma MacIver, and I thought Frank Sinatra was in the mood for a swap, but
the filmmakers were making a connection between her and the initial case in an attempt to be clever. But the fact is that
they lost me as a member of the audience when I wanted to finish the movie already while looking at the timer once too
many times. Oh, please for the gay stuff...it looks ridiculous by now.
Detective Segeant Joe Leland has a moral compass? Yeah, sure. He broke into the psychiatrist's office without a search
warrant and then violated the doctor-patient privilege by listening to one of his tapes. Eventually, Leland quits because the
slime of New York City has gotten to be too much for him to take given that I'm pretty sure he had been aware of it for
decades. Luckily, Serpico came along and thus did it so much better.
By the way, Roderick Thorp authored the novel. Years later, he saw the film
The Towering Inferno and got inspired to write a sequel to The Detective
called Nothing Lasts Forever which would be retitled for the film version. Today, we know it better as
Die Hard with Joe Leland's name changed to John McClaine. Believe it or not,
Frank Sinatra, aged 73 at the time, was first offered the role but turned it down which went to Bruce Willis who actually
made his screen debut in one of Frank Sinatra's pictures: The First Deadly Sin.
All in all, if you want a good old-fashioned neo-noir picture with Frank Sinatra in the leading role, go with
Tony Rome, not The Detective.
Detective Story (1951)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/21
10/21:
If there were awards given out for melodrama, Detective Story would've been a big winner in 1951.
A play right from the outset, the whole thing is nothing like reality. For starters, arrested criminals are
held in cells, not on the same floor with detectives for hours. That way, their chance of potential influence and impulse to
do something terrible will be cut down to almost nil. Hence, Arthur gets his day in court, and Detective Jim McLeod
returns home alive.
Starting off the melodrama is Lee Grant who overacts in her screen debut and is as pathetic as her character. Then, there's
the newcomer Joseph Wiseman who puts on a performance that will never be found in real life. Finally, Kirk Douglas gets his
turn to do the same by making everything so damn funny in the last twenty minutes. I was
laughing at him when he was desperate to be killed after finding out how much of a whore his wife turned out to be.
I'll never understand what the people were thinking back then when they handed out Oscar nominations to Eleanor Parker for Best
Actress, Lee Grant for Best Supporting Actress, Philip Yordan and Robert Wyler for Best Writing, and William Wyler (I'm
surprised at him for being involved with such rubbish) for Best Direction. They're all bad...so bad in a camp way. Even
one said, "If I wanted to see the play, I would go to Broadway." Why can't these simpleminded folks say the word
"abortionist" just to get it over with?
All in all, Detective Story is best left behind in a trash heap of dated cop melodrama.
Detroit Rock City (1999)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/25
3/25:
Now you know why people don't like KISS.
Nobody wants to see a band being full of itself and using every opportunity to maximize its marketing
potential. As a result, Detroit Rock City bombed at the box office by grossing $5.8 million against
a budget of $17 million. I thought KISS only appealed to kids under 12?
Sure, the first half isn't bad and has funny stuff including the best moment when the four leads were in the
girls bathroom and broke the toilet, setting off the chaos. However, the longer Jeremiah and his adversarial
relationship to his mother go on, the harder it is to not notice the eerie resemblance to the Sandy Hook
Elementary School incident. Even the boy looks like the shooter himself.
The second half is when the film fell apart because the rapid-fire editing became too much. Ditto for
the crude situations. Who wants to see KISS being surrounded by naked women? That's narcissism. It's also hard
to get into because of Edward Furlong. I hate that guy and felt happy when his head was pressed hard against
the windshield to mop up the pizza remains.
All in all, Detroit Rock City has been done before, and it's called I Wanna Hold Your Hand.
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/06
2/06:
Apparently, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo is for people whose IQ is below 75.
The offerings are gag jokes, sex, and repulsive moments. There's a small amount of energy that makes the film
watchable and bearable, but it's often gross.
All in all, the original was better.
Devil in a Blue Dress (1995)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
12/02, 5/25, 6/25
5/25:
I don't think there exists a film noir with a strong black presence, and there have been some
neo-noirs to remedy the void but nothing that's on the same level as
Chinatown until 1995 when Devil in a Blue Dress came out.
It's a terrific picture with Denzel Washington at his best. All of the hallmarks have been hit: the voice-over
narration, the wrong man at the wrong place accused of murder, the case of a missing woman, the sultry
cinematography of Los Angeles, and the lineup of tough guys and corrupt politicians and cops. An added bonus
is racism that's not a common feature in most films of the genre.
What's nice is that the story is easy to follow. Many neo-noirs commit the mistake of being so convoluted
to the point of being a liability, and I don't appreciate it. At the same time, I like the writing by director
Carl Franklin that was adapted from Walter Mosley's novel; it's smooth and well-done. The explanation of why and
what happened is unexpected, causing me to think of
Imitation of Life.
Although this is Denzel Washington's show and I love his character's name (Easy Rawlins),
Don Cheadle steals the movie in just a handful of scenes. The former's reaction to the latter's stupid action
is quite comical by letting the moment linger while not knowing what to say. By the way, the back of
the DVD cover, along with the movie poster, mentions Easy being a private investigator; that's not true. A
recently laid-off machinist, he had no experience in these matters, but at the end, I was left feeling there
should've been a sequel with him making the formal transition.
All in all, Devil in a Blue Dress is a unique film in the neo-noir genre.
6/25:
I wanted to check out Devil in a Blue Dress again in Blu-Ray for the first time, and it looks stunning.
The Devils (1971)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/22
2/22:
Among the most controversial movies of all time, I had a hard time obtaining the uncut version of The Devils
which is mostly based on The Devils of Loudun by Aldous Huxley about what happened to Father Urbain Grandier.
After seeing the film, I understand now why it has a notorious history of futile releases. It can't be the nudity but the
excessive display of sacrileges against religion. The church must have played a big role in preventing the film from seeing the
light of the day. Also, The Devils has been labeled a horror film when it's really a drama.
I don't know what happened, but the second half is when things started to click in my head. The dialogue
from the outset must have created a lingering disconnect. Yet the writing is very good throughout. Madman Ken
Russell may have gone overboard sooner than expected, but it's been apropos during the second half, especially the orgiastic
frenzy.
Oliver Reed is another highlight. Many have said it's the best of his career, and the actor himself called it his favorite.
However, I'm going to disagree and say he was better in
Paranoiac, The Hunting Party, and
Burnt Offerings. Yep, Oliver Reed had his head and mustache shaved off for the movie; a lesser actor
would have donned a skullcap or a wig. Now, he'll never be accused of having faked anything.
As for everybody else, there are a couple of standouts: Dudley Sutton and Michael Gothard as Laubardemont and the witch-hunter,
respectively. It's interesting to see Vanessa Redgrave whose role was meant for Glenda Jackson. She must've had a lot of
fun with her character.
A lot of what's going on reminds me of The Crucible. The themes are similar. As a matter of fact, the
events as shown occurred sixty years before the Salem Witch Trials. If Oscar nominations are to be handed out, one should have
gone to Best Costume Design. The cinematography is timeless considering the year it was made in. The white-tiled city
was designed by Caravaggio's Derek Jarman which took three months to complete.
All in all, Ken Russell made a lot of terrible, absurd films, but The Devils is by far the best of his career.
Devil's Advocate (1997)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
Devil's Advocate is marred by inconsistent acting and erratic plot.
There's not much of improvement on the well-known play Doctor Faustus by Christopher Marlowe. Characters disappear one
by one over time.
Charlize Theron, although audacious, injures the film the most by playing a poor character. Keanu Reeves looks right, but
his performance is sometimes rendered ineffective, thanks to Al Pacino's hammy behavior.
All in all, Devil's Advocate doesn't work.
The Devil's Disciple (1959)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
Believe it or not, there aren't many films about the American Revolution, and I find that strange.
Among a handful from the 50's is The Devil's Disciple. However, it's a boring show despite the excellent
black-and-white cinematography. Instead of what I saw, it should've been ten minutes of talk and seventy minutes
of action. Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas versus Laurence Olivier and his army of redcoats...how can you beat
that? The moviegoers thought so by staying away which caused it to be a box-office stinker.
At the time, Laurence Olivier was struggling with personal problems, most especially his marriage to Vivien
Leigh. She tried to cheat on him with either of his co-stars. Oddly, Laurence Olivier couldn't get their names
straight by calling Burt "Kirk" and Kirk "Burt." Yet in the film, he gives the best performance while Burt
Lancaster is useless and Kirk Douglas looks out of place.
All in all, there's a better chance of falling asleep than feeling excited by what's going on in
The Devil's Disciple.
The Devil's Own (1997)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
7/09, 3/22
7/09:
The Devil's Own is a weak film in spite of having Harrison Ford and Brad Pitt on board.
The script is underdeveloped. At the same time, the pace is somewhat slow as Alan J. Pakula tries to build up the tension.
Rubén Blades and Treat Williams may have been miscast. Of course, sympathy is brought out en masse for Brad Pitt's character
because he's a handsome guy. What if it's Sean Bean instead? It'll change the perception completely.
All in all, whatever The Devil's Own had tried to do,
Patriot Games already did it in a convincing manner.
3/22:
There's a lot of star power in The Devil's Own: Harrison Ford and Brad Pitt.
My opinion is better now. It's an absorbing drama with a strong direction by Alan J. Pakula, the final film
of his career before passing away the following year. Also exiting the Hollywood business, Gordon Willis, the Prince of
Darkness, handles the cinematography work with ease, but this time, he may have overdone the daylight scenes by adding a dark
layer. When it's night, everything looks great.
As handsome as Brad Pitt is, here's the trouble: his character, Frankie/Rory, killed eleven police officers, thirteen
British soldiers, and many others. So, why am I supposed to have feelings for him? Had it been a different
actor like Sean Bean of Patriot Games, everything immediately changes. Hence, Frankie wants to confuse everybody
with his justification talk.
Tom O'Meara (Harrison Ford) sure cares about Frankie a lot but not his former partner who's killed by Frankie.
Some loyalty he has. By the way, why did O'Meara ask for Eddie's help in the first place after he's so righteous and then
dismissed him for killing an unarmed criminal in cold blood? It ruins his credibility.
Another negative is the long running time. It should be twenty minutes shorter. O'Meara's world is small given that he's
a cop with no friends other than Eddie. Also, he doesn't think of his wife and daughters while in pursuit
of Frankie which may cost him his life.
All in all, thanks to the strong performances by Harrison Ford and Brad Pitt, The Devil's Own is a decent picture
that takes the time to tell a good story.
Diabolique (1996)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/25
6/25:
Hollywood didn't get the memo that masterpieces never needed a remake.
That's the case for Les diaboliques. Whoever green-lit this idea is a
fucking idiot. At least, the public was smart by turning Diabolique into a box-office bomb, causing
Jeremiah Chechik to be a failed director. The Avengers two years later
would punctuate this...big time.
Chechik made the following prediction in 2011: "I think it [Diabolique] will be reevaluated, I
really do. When there are no issues, no baggage, the movie will be seen in the light that I made it. Probably
after I'm dead." Yeah, right...it'll never happen.
Sharon Stone is totally unbelievable and should have stopped herself early to understand that she's not in Simone
Signoret's league. What's with the silly color on her lips and the tight outfits? She gives the image of wanting
to be the school's number one vixen instead of a proper teacher. On the other hand, Isabelle Adjani looks like she
killed ten people without having to announce it.
Kathy Bates...what the hell is she doing in the film? Her character's motive in the last ten minutes makes
absolutely no sense. Chazz Palminteri is a fair replacement for Paul Meurisse but rushes through a couple of
important moments, especially in the tub. Oddly, after the tines of a rake got stuck on his head, he didn't bleed
while in the pool. The fakery of his death earlier on isn't believable because that's somebody who's actually dead.
Why Les diaboliques worked so well compared to the remake is it was
filmed in 1955, allowing everything to pass through without doubt. For example, using a wicker storage box
didn't seem strange, but in 1996, I'm sure people were thinking, "Hey, you got a dead body in there, huh?" The
pool thing is too absurd with the kid going, "Oh, yeah...I'm perfectly fine with the idea of jumping into the
dirty, cold water that's filled with bacteria and leaves," when a skimmer will do.
All in all, don't be fooled by the slick trailer of Diabolique; it's that awful.
Dial M for Murder (1954)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/06, 1/25
2/06:
Dial M for Murder is a quintessential Hitchcock thriller.
The acting, the plot, the direction, and the pace are impeccable.
Ray Milland and John Williams turn in outstanding performances while Grace Kelly isn't bad.
The theory may sound perfect on paper, but in reality, it never works out exactly as planned. It's an axiom that
most people cannot grasp. The ending is brilliant, placing the final stamp on the film as a masterpiece.
All in all, chalk up Dial M for Murder in Alfred Hitchcock's oeuvre of must-see pictures.
1/25:
That's why I watch many movies at least twice, and the result is a downgrade in my rating from '10 to '3' for
Dial M for Murder.
What a boring movie to sit through. The more of a chatterbox Ray Milland's character
is, the greater my urge is to dial K five times on the rotary phone as in "Mr. Hitchcock, you're k-k-k-k-killing
me!" The script is convoluted and technically boring. If we want to get to the bottom of the mystery, it's
about the keys; everything else doesn't matter, hence the terrific ending.
I don't buy the premise for a minute. There's no way that Grace Kelly's character would've been tried
and sentenced to death for the crime. What's her motive after all? Has anyone considered that there
might be three...four...five or more keys in existence? She has ligature marks around her neck which aren't
easy to produce if done alone. Also, impossible to believe is somebody as beautiful as she would be married to
Tony Wendice, an old-looking chap who's never believable for the slightest minute, no matter how glib he can be.
How about when Anthony Dawson's character was stabbed in the back with scissors? It's not going to kill him, but
the way he reacted makes it seem like he had passed out and stupidly fell to his own death. Hardly likely.
The most realistic outcome will be feeling for what's embedded deeply in his back to wrestle it out, even if
he has to sit down for a minute. Incidentally, Alfred Hitchcock makes a cameo appearance not in the flesh but
in a black-and-white photograph along with Ray Milland and Anthony Dawson.
All in all, Dial M for Murder may look great and all that, but let's be real: it's a very talky staged play.
Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/11
1/11:
Diamonds Are Forever is another clunker from the James Bond franchise.
It's like beating a dead horse to see if there are any more diamonds coming out. Sean Connery is ready to mail it in as
he looks old and bored to pieces. The movie should be called Dollar Signs Are Forever because there are
$$$ flashing in his eyes.
It's now the third actor to play Blofeld. What's so important about him? Looking at the movie poster,
it's obvious the film was meant to be blatantly sexist, and of course, the inveterate poon hound James Bond gets to bed more
women as usual.
I've dismissed James Bond as a British spy by thinking of him a devoted womanizer whose personal quest is to bag 100,000
women. Hence, Vaginas Are Forever is the more appropriate title. Notice in the last two Sean Connery
pictures that a female must appear in a two-piece bikini suit. This time, it's Lana Wood, the sister of Natalie Wood, and she's
cast as Plenty O'Toole, thanks to her national exposure in Playboy.
All in all, Vaginas Are Forever is about the degradation of women.
Dick Tracy (1990)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/03, 11/10
11/10:
Every time Warren Beatty shows off his trademark stare, I just want to punch him in the face.
What's with him doing it every ten or fifteen minutes in all films? All I see is emptiness. Anyway, Dork Tracy fails
to captivate me, despite the all-star cast, although I like the cinematography. There's not enough focus on character
development. Hence, nearly everybody is forgettable. Because how fast the editing work is, it's not possible to
look at any shot longer than ten seconds.
Hands down, the worst performance award goes to Madonna. She can't act to save her life. Playing the
femme fatale, Madonna is as flat as a sheet of paper, never grabbing my attention. The scene with her and Al Pacino is
similar to Jack Nicholson and Kim Basinger in
Batman which is a way of saying that familiarity breeds contempt.
Nearing the end, the way the villains came out shooting in fancy cars and then meeting their fate is silly.
In another scene, Dork Tracy saves one guy from death in cement and then steps into the mix. Now, now, now...why would
he do that?
All in all, Dork Tracy has the colors but fails to be interesting.
Dickie Roberts:
Former Child Star (2003)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/07
7/07:
Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star is one of the shallowest and most disgusting pictures I've seen.
I don't know why people like David Spade when I think of him as one of the most despicable
actors alive. Watching him play an arrogant son of a bitch in the movie is unbearable.
I'm reading the list of has-been stars. They used to be famous in something a long time ago and have now reached the bottom
of the toilet by making an appearance in this crapfest. Alyssa Milano looks anorexic and is literally ready to be shrunken by the screen.
On the other hand, Corey Feldman, an arrogant son of a bitch, has finally been reduced to a joke.
There's no story going on and is rather infested with bad messages and unintelligent lines. So, Dickie, who's presumably 35 years old,
decides to advertise by offering twenty grand to any family who's willing to adopt and treat him like a kid. A family of
a mother and two boys decides to take a gamble on the deal. I understand money, but still...why?
Dickie teaches kids profanity, nearly entices them to drink alcohol, and says things like "I want to bang your mother" or
"I bet your mom is hot in bed." The sick, perverted ending has come to this: he marries the mother after she's predictably
granted a divorce. That's just great stuff. You know, if Dickie Roberts wore those gloves for over ten years, then his
hands should be infinitely white. Boy, has cheerleading changed so much over the years or what? The girl, who's
eight years old, gives an audition for a stripper job. By the way, is the poker scene of washed-up child
stars a rip-off of Sunset Boulevard?
All in all, Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star has earned a big fat '1' from me.
Die Another Day (2002)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/14
9/14:
Die Another Day is the end of the line as far as I'm concerned with the James Bond franchise.
It's been a ridiculous run of twentysomething junk pictures, and I didn't enjoy most of them. This one
finally crosses the line by going completely CGI while skipping the basics of what makes a motion picture watchable.
What killed it for me is the invisible car during the deplorable title sequence while Madonna's song is
playing in the background. Is it necessary to show a bullet going through the hole?
The final verdict is in: Pierce Brosnan is no James Bond. Halle Berry can be safely added to the long line of terrible
Bond girls. Pray tell me, while wearing the two-bikini piece that's in the mold of Ursula Andress, what does she
need the knife for? Okay, looking back at the franchise overall, I've made the following observations:
One, James Bond prefers his vodka martini shaken but not stirred, but it doesn't make a fucking difference either way!
Two, no matter how dire the situation is, James Bond always survives at the end of the day, hence
the predictability of every...single...goddamn...film.
Three, it's a requirement for James Bond's nemeses to be from a nation that's not the United States or UK.
The only exception is if they're traitors.
Four, James Bond is always shown how each gadget works at the beginning of every film that ends up being used.
What are the odds?
Five, James Bond announces himself as a British spy every time, but is that blowing his cover? Please...define the word
"spy" for me. "James Bond is here? Quick, kill him now" is what somebody should've said.
Six, the formula of all James Bond pictures has been exactly the same. So, guess what will happen in the next installment?
And after that? And so on?
Seven, on June 4, 2003, the AFI released its list of 50 Greatest Heroes, and James Bond was voted third which brings up an
interesting point. Given that AFI celebrates only American films, it selected an English character? And he's a hero?
But to who? All James Bond does is fuck every pretty woman he sees.
Eight, for a change, here's something positive: I give props to the franchise for having the best opening title sequences.
They're unique and unlike anything I've seen.
All in all, the rubbish is finally over, and now, my brain cells won't have to die another day en masse.
Die Hard (1988)
Rate:
10
Viewed: 4/03, 12/03, 1/06, 6/11, 5/21
1/06:
What I love about Die Hard is how real John McClane is and, even better, how direct Hans Gruber is.
Unlike most movies, Die Hard is a thrill machine that never lets down from start to finish. It's
a surprise that Alan Rickman wasn't Oscar-nominated because his character is a "finally...an intelligent villain."
The script is well-done, and the special effects extravaganza further intensifies the viewing experience. Just like
Predator, John McTiernan blends in the action-packed scenes with John McClane's heroics.
All in all, there's nothing like Die Hard.
6/11:
Die Hard is a one intense roller-coaster machine that refuses to cease.
The special effects are still spectacular as ever. The realism that's maintained by the characters is what makes the film
work. Alan Rickman is the best with classic lines such as:
"Nice suit. John Phillips, London. I have two myself. Rumor has it Arafat buys his there."
"And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer. Benefits of a classical
education."
"Shoot...the...glass."
"I'm going to count to three. There will not be a four."
"I must have missed 60 Minutes. What are you saying?"
"Due to the Nakatomi Corporation's legacy of greed around the globe, they are about to be taught a lesson in the real use
of power. You will be witnesses."
"I am an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane."
It's big stuff, and I bow to you, Mr. Hans Gruber. With the exception of the following two sequels, it's safe to say
Die Hard and 12 Monkeys are probably the only films that Bruce Willis can be taken seriously as an actor.
All in all, I'll never forget my experience of seeing Die Hard at the theatre in 1988.
5/21:
There's only one Die Hard, and the rest are imitations.
Somebody from the DVD commentary made a good point of why Sudden Death didn't pan out the way it should've in
terms of box-office returns: the movie lacked everything that made Die Hard work.
It starts with an excellent script, which can sometimes be funny, with a lot of twists and turns and real-world problems.
Then, there's the cast of capable thespians who can create characters, no matter how small or big they are. Added to the mix
are the wizardy of the special effects team and the smooth direction by John McTiernan. Hence, Die Hard has been
converted into a thrill-a-minute actioner. There has been nothing like it before or since then.
Yes, the film made Bruce Willis an international superstar although he was long famous before then through Moonlighting.
But it's Alan Rickman who's even more impressive. There hasn't been a villain with this much intelligence like Hans Gruber.
It's a refreshing change, and thus, Alan Rickman was robbed of an Oscar nomination.
There are tons of great performances, but I'll like to mention a couple. Reginald VelJohnson is underrated as
McClane's conscience while he needs to sort out his feelings. The support is there as he forges ahead while enduring
the pain of broken glasses on his feet and being shot in the back. On the other hand, Alexander Godunov was a famous ballet
dancer before turning to acting, and this is the film that made him memorable as a tough-as-nails bad guy.
All in all, whenever I watch a boring or pretentious film, all I can think of is: "I'd rather watch Die Hard."
Die Hard 2 (1990)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
2/06, 5/21
2/06:
Die Hard 2 is another fun-filled picture by the franchise.
Loads of action and elaborate story are the name of the game, and Bruce Willis is back in top form as John McClane.
However, there are two annoying characters who manage to hinder the momentum: Richard Thornburg and Captain Lorenzo.
I'm impressed with the filmmakers for recycling the original formula to deliver a sustainable blockbuster although it doesn't
match up with the standard.
All in all, Renny Harlin is usually a poor director, but he gets the job done for Die Hard 2.
5/21:
Compared to the original, Die Hard 2 is a huge step down in all aspects.
The profanity-filled story is somewhat tolerable, but everybody is too serious. Lighten up because it's Christmas. Yet the snow
is so fake that summer must be around the corner. Naturally, no real airline is used in fear of the negative association.
Why is there a manhole on the runaway when an airplane can topple off the cover?
John McClane had many great one-liners in the last film, but here, almost all are mediocre. Why does Dennis
Franz have to yell and act like an asshole every film he appears in? When McClane made his point by shooting blanks
at the incompetent cop, it's a moment that he should've been instantly killed.
Although the running time is too long, the last thirty minutes is good enough to earn '6' from me. But there's one
thing that has always bothered me since 1990: how could anyone inside the airport not hear or see the exploding plane
that's literally right outside when it failed to land? They finding out for the first time an hour later is
incredible. Of course, there are plenty of airports around the 100-mile radius to land in.
All in all, Die Hard 2 is dumb and mechanical that's without a sense of humor.
Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
2/06, 5/21
2/06:
Once again, Die Hard with a Vengeance is a fun-filled film but this time has no annoying characters.
Although the last sequel and this are similar plot-wise, I pick the latter for sheer entertainment value. Instead of
Reginald VelJohnson, Samuel L. Jackson stars. Jeremy Irons is the baddie while Bruce Willis is back to his old self.
There are incredible special effects to provide an infusion of energy to keep the pace lively. Sprinkled around is the great
sense of humor, most especially from Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson. The story is kept simple in order to focus more
on the action.
All in all, Die Hard with a Vengeance works, thanks to the return of director John McTiernan.
5/21:
Die Hard with a Vengeance may look like the franchise is back, but it has serious editing flaws that are hard to
overlook.
Yes, it's a good movie in parts, especially when the action is fast and furious. The special effects of the bombings around New York
City are impressive. Yet there are several scenes with continuity problems. For instance, Targo was winning big time in a fight
with John McClane. Then, there's a cutaway, and when it's back to them, John just finished off Targo.
What the heck happened? How did he manage to do that?
Another is after McClane took care of the boat, his superior and co-workers suddenly showed up at the dock when I thought
they were still at the school, trying to defuse the bomb. That has to be incredible because I've been in New York City before
and it's a total gridlock during the day. When there's panic, forget it...there's no way of getting out by car. How the
dump trucks got through the FDR that quickly is impossible.
At the end, Simon and his girlfriend were taken out by an overhead wire that's caught by the helicopter blades. When it
happened, I felt nothing because Simon was the least developed archvillain of the franchise. I mean, who is he? What's so
interesting about him apart from being Hans Gruber's brother? That being said, Jeremy Irons, along with his terrible haircut, is
a bad casting choice. Having never been in a blockbuster film of this size, he probably cashed in just for the heck of it.
Forget the masculine female German; I don't even want to go there. She has zero character development and never speaks.
On the positive side, the sense of humor is back in a big way which was missing in the last sequel. Bruce Willis and Samuel L.
Jackson have good chemistry, but it's not 100%. However, Zeus' pulling out the race card constantly is tiresome, and I didn't
want to see it.
All in all, as entertaining as Die Hard with a Vengeance may be, it's a ridiculous movie.
Die unendliche Geschichte (1984)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/07
8/07:
Die unendliche Geschichte is German for The NeverEnding Story which is a perfect title because the movie never
seems to end.
In fact, it's a goddamn bore. The NeverEnding Story might be good for children, but there are two Sphinx monuments with
nipples. So, probably not. Is it just me, or does everybody talk very slowly? Now, what's the plot, if you ask me? It's to
find a new name for the empress. That's it...this is the whole movie. My goodness. Why couldn't they
do that in five minutes and be done with it?
The only positive aspect is the special effects although it isn't that great. I can't believe a boy like
Bastian can read a thick book with such small printing. As for the pace, it's so slow that a snail can
win a 10-meter race. Many characters, who are ugly as sin, are introduced only to be dropped later.
I was confused for the longest time whether the first kid was the same person as the second kid until I saw their teeth
up-close before determining they weren't. It distracted me from paying attention to the movie. Every time
there's supposed to be an adventure for the boy number two, it never feels like it. In fact, nothing ever happens. A good
illustration of what I'm talking about is the battle with the wolf which will be all over in a matter of seconds.
I like the message it sends out: if the bullies give you a hard time, you hit back. I'm sure the kids will take that
to heart. It's how school shootings begin. By the way, I never saw The NeverEnding Story before, and it looks like
Wolfgang Petersen had lost the touch, especially when I think back to Das Boot. His résumé isn't impressive anyway:
In the Line of Fire,
Outbreak, Air Force One,
The Perfect Storm, Troy, and Poseidon.
His career may be over at this point.
All in all, The NeverEnding Nothing is more like it.
Diggstown (1992)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/16
6/16:
Diggstown is the ultimate con picture with everybody conning each other.
The cast is great: James Woods, Louis Gossett, Jr., Bruce Dern, and Oliver Platt. It's a small-time picture, and nobody
stands out the most.
The actors keep it low-key, so they let their performances make the story work. There's a good flow in the pace with
plenty of twists and turns. By the way, if you're curious about the transsexual-looking referee, his name is Benny
Urquidez who was a kickboxing word champion.
All in all, Diggstown is satisfying.
Dillinger (1945)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
10/08
10/08:
Symbolizing the mythical criminal hero during the Great Depression, John Dillinger was so famous that he was
labeled Public Enemy No. 1 by the FBI for the first time ever.
More notorious is the story of his death after being escorted from the Biograph Theater in Chicago by a woman in
orange, not red as the legend has it. Manhattan Melodrama starring Clark Gable is the film they saw.
Naturally, a movie had to be made about him.
Enter Dillinger which stars the all-time bad boy Lawrence Tierney. There's a lot of 40's mentality going
on which restrains a lot of the potential. Lawrence Tierney, in his screen debut, is awesome as John Dillinger.
Unfortunately, it lacks realism and gritty moments. None of the characters is
developed enough to make an impression. Thankfully, it's short, clocking at seventy minutes.
All in all, Dillinger is worth watching solely for Lawrence Tierney.
Dillinger (1973)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/18
9/18:
Ah, John Milius...he wasn't able to resist the myth of John Dillinger, eh?
By the way, Anna Sage was the so-called woman in red, but on that fateful night, she actually wore an orange
skirt with a white blouse. The strong theatre lights at the Biograph only reflected it as red.
Most of Dillinger is a repeat of the same style as seen in
Bonnie and Clyde. The longer the movie goes on, the
more obvious it becomes. It's also cyclic in action which is drivel with cartoonish violence. John Milius
has an obsession with Tommy guns as they're shown in many scenes.
Warren Oates may look like John Dillinger himself, but he's not interesting. Richard Dreyfuss is too hammy as
Baby Face Nelson. The real Melvin Purvis wasn't that old like Ben Johnson; the famed FBI agent was
30 years old when he finally apprehended John Dillinger.
All in all, Dillinger is a retread of Bonnie and Clyde with
an overreliance on violence to satisfy John Milius' craving for Tommy guns.
Diner (1982)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
If there's anything I hate about a director, it's using the same city for a particular decade over and over.
That has been the modus operandi for Barry Levinson: Baltimore of the 50's. What I'll love to do is shove it up his
ass. Diner flat-out sucks, and I hate everything about it. The movie is boring to the nth degree.
The two saving graces are Mickey Rourke and Ellen Barkin. They can act heads-and-shoulders above the rest
except for Kevin Bacon who looks young.
The story is nil; it's just nostalgia. So, what killed the movie? Two words: Steve Guttenberg. What moron will
give his girlfriend a football test to see if she's worthy of marriage? How about the guy who thinks having extensive
knowledge of records is important? Imagine how stupid he must feel when he finds out they have no meaning fifty years
later.
All in all, I prefer the fun-loving American Graffiti over the misogynistic Diner.
Dip huet seung hung (1989)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
3/14, 8/15
3/14:
I'm leery of films that had been highly praised to the point of being overrated.
Well, Dip huet seung hung, which is translated as The Killer, is among the most influential movies
of all time. John Woo's American stuff has never been this good.
Since then, various directors tried to make themselves look good by copying off John Woo's style but failed to create coherence
out of the jumbled mess. The last fifteen years, cinema had seen an incredible explosion of films attempting to be the next
John Woo masterpiece, much to the detriment of many who prefer the old-school style of filmmaking.
Although The Killer is a two-hour nonstop Hong Kong action picture with an immense orgy of violence and blood splattering,
the editing is admirable which can be seen as a giant step forward from Sam Peckinpah's transcendental display of violence in
The Wild Bunch and Arthur Penn's slow-motion bloody but graceful death scenes in
Bonnie and Clyde. I know how
silly it feels throughout as the amount of violence can become too much to the point of comical. But what's
impressive is that there's no decline in quality from one scene to next which is a difficult feat to pull off.
All in all, there's nothing like The Killer in American cinema.
8/15:
The trouble with The Killer is the over-the-top, comic-book violence that can be too much at times.
Yet the editing is outstanding, being the number one reason why people should see this Hong Kong masterpiece to feel
its poetic power. Another aspect to like is Chow Yun-fat's performance. Danny Lee complements him well, and their
characters' ironical friendship predates Point Break with Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves.
All in all, The Killer is a must-see.
Dirty Dancing (1987)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/04, 5/06, 10/19, 11/19, 7/24
5/06:
Dirty Dancing is a classic picture.
Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze are fantastic together. It's impossible to think of the movie without
them. The cast is perfect as well. What works is the blend of late 50's/early 60's feel and 80's look. Also, there are
two contrasting sides, prudish and cool, that merge to make for a clash.
On the other hand, I hate how the famous line "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" is hastily delivered, failing to make for a
bona fide classic movie moment. Rather, it goes this: ENTER Johnny, nobodyputsbabyinacorner, EXIT Johnny with Baby...just like
that.
All in all, Dirty Dancing is timeless.
10/19:
A huge favorite among females, Dirty Dancing is the last great dance picture.
The editing is interesting because it's all about the dancing but is not high on character development. Rather, it's Patrick
Swayze showing Jennifer Grey the ropes, and they're excellent together. Hence, Dirty Dancing is a timeless movie with
memorable moments, fantastic music, and a killer intro, notwithstanding the strange mix of 50's/60's and 80's looks.
If anyone deserved an Oscar win, it's Jennifer Grey. She's perfect. What's amazing about her performance is
how well she sells the awkwardness part without being corny. That's why Molly Ringwald became a failed actress after
appearing in three overrated teen films. There's no question that Dirty Dancing made Patrick Swayze an overnight
heartthrob, and he'll go on to have three more signature films: Road House,
Ghost, and Point Break.
Who cares if his acting isn't awesome? It's all about the dancing, stupid.
The line "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" is famous, but I hate Patrick Swayze's delivery. It's too fast, hence the lack of
effect. He should've said it slower and let the moment last before taking Baby away. The following by Jennifer
Grey is more of a clincher: "I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel
when I'm with you."
Prior to being cast, Jennifer Grey didn't want to work with Patrick Swayze again after Red Dawn.
He had to persuade her before she finally relented. The scene when Patrick Swayze slowly moved his hand down Jennifer Grey
underarm, her reaction was for real, and he was peeved by it, considering that they did over twenty-five takes due to her uncontrollable
laughing.
The log scene is all Patrick Swayze which sent him to the hospital after injuring his left knee many times to have it drained
because of the swelling, but you can't see Jennifer Grey because she had a stand-in to do it for her. When they were doing the most
fantastic scene ever in the practice room before Lonny Price (Neil Kellerman) walked on them, it was all ad-libbed.
Vestron Pictures was a small company back then that eventually went bankrupt. Having produced mostly crappy films,
Dirty Dancing was its very first one. When the movie was initially printed and the executives saw it for the
first time, they didn't like it, preferring to "burn the negative and collect the insurance." Changing their minds, they
gave it a go, predicting a run of just one weekend in theatres. Well, Dirty Dancing immediately took off, and
the rest was history as it became the first picture ever to sell one million copies on videotape.
All in all, Dirty Dancing is unique.
11/19:
Dirty Dancing is still a timeless motion picture.
All in all, Jennifer Grey should've been awarded the Oscar for Best Actress.
7/24:
Dirty Dancing will always stand the test of time.
The Dirty Dozen (1967)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/05, 8/13, 1/25
8/13:
The Dirty Dozen is a well-known war picture despite the misleading title because there are actually
fourteen altogether for the mission.
Performance-wise, none of the actors stands out. So, it's been the chemistry of the group that makes the film
watchable. Of course, having Lee Marvin on board is a bonus, but it's not his best role anyway. That will
be The Big Red One.
If anything, the editing can be poor at times. There are awkward transitions from one scene to another, and
no explanation is provided for two separate events: the training game and the actual mission. The casting of
Telly Savalas is a mistake because his character is ridiculous and self-serving.
All in all, tighter editing while cutting out the swarthy bald idiot would've made The Dirty Dozen better.
1/25:
The Dirty Dozen remains a war classic.
But the movie is too long. The best part is the mission. That means the training segment has to be much shorter.
Worse is the lack of getting to know the last seven men. In fact, I still don't know their characters' names.
Let's break them down:
Memorable: Charles Bronson, Jim Brown, John Cassavetes, Telly Savalas, and Donald Sutherland.
Uh...Who?: Tom Busby, Ben Carruthers, Stuart Cooper, Trini Lopez, Colin Maitland, Al Mancini,
and Clint Walker.
In other words, when somebody asks you to name all of the Dirty Dozen, don't even try. That being said,
Robert Aldrich should've either gotten famous actors for the last seven or spent more time on developing these
unknowns. As usual, Telly Savalas plays a useless character; what's the point of bringing him along
when it's clear that he's psychotic?
The editing can be bad at times with the parachute scene being the most prominent (it just cuts
away with everybody back on the compound). And what the hell happened to Clint Walker at the château?
By the way, this is the film that Jim Brown was forced to pick between football and acting
when the production ran too long; obviously, he went with the latter and never looked back.
All in all, The Dirty Dozen should be seen, regardless of the negatives.
Dirty Harry (1971)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
1/04, 6/05, 10/07
6/05:
Dirty Harry is an absolute first-rate picture, and there's no better character than Dirty Harry Callahan in the
history of cop movies.
Two polarizing figures, an inspector and a killer, go against each other in a game of intrigue. Andy Robinson's Scorpio is one
of the greatest villains ever. The dialogue, the action, and the dry sense of humor are well-executed. Two classic moments
occur during the bank robbery and on the football field. The lines are outstanding such as:
"I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind
of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head
clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"
"Well, I'm all broken up over that man's rights."
All in all, Don Siegel directed a flawless masterpiece in Dirty Harry.
10/07:
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the original and the greatest cop film in history: Dirty Harry.
Clint Eastwood gives the most signature performance of his career. Andy Robinson's Scorpio is in the Cinema Hall of Fame of
Villains. There are a lot of amusing lines and action throughout.
One great scene, which was directed by Clint Eastwood, is the Alice encounter. It's so funny and random. Another
is Dirty Harry stepping on Scorpio's leg against the football field backdrop.
Not to forget is the big black dude getting paid to beat Scorpio to a pulp.
All in all, Dirty Harry is unforgettable.
Dirty Love (2005)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/21
4/21:
An easy candidate for the worst film of 2005, Dirty Love shows why body fluids have no place in comedies.
The supermarket scene with Jenny McCarthy bleeding all over the aisle because of her period is gross. There are also
other absurd moments such as the bass-in-the-ass thing, the confession about Richard's defecated bed, and Rebecca
being vomited on multiple times. They've collectively prompted me to ask: am I the only normal person here?
There's also some god-awful acting with Jenny McCarthy providing the bulk of it in a crude way.
The heavily made-up Carmen Electra is disgusting, and it's impossible to take her seriously. To punctuate
the worst of the worst is Kam Heskin for playing a ridiculous, untalented, and ugly character.
Unsurprisingly, Dirty Love was roundly panned, having earned *drum roll* $36,099 in gross profit.
Jenny McCarthy and her director-husband quickly divorced afterwards. I'm sure the "success" of the film had a lot to
do with it. The only explanation why her character dates losers is that she's shallow and is therefore a loser.
All in all, Dirty Love is a certified train wreck.
Dirty Pictures (2000)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/21
6/21:
I have to hand it to James Woods for being involved with many compelling telefilms for a long time, and
Dirty Pictures is one of them.
Everything as presented is news to me. As much as I don't care for Robert Mapplethorpe or his stuff, the primary discussion
of the film is First Amendment rights. Censorship is a major issue that's a no-no in the United States of America. Sadly, it has
come back in full force by tech companies in conjunction with the government.
The only red flag I see in the Mapplethorpe controversy is child nudity. When is it casual, when is it art, and when is
it pornography? The lines are sometimes blurred because if parents take pictures of their offsprings this way while as babies,
I'm sure it's harmless and a spur-of-the-moment thing. The only time it becomes child pornography is when somebody
takes pictures incessantly and the activity looks like it's going too far.
As for adults, I don't see what the problem is. If they consented to be filmed in the nude, then so be it. What matters at
the end is the consumers making a choice whether or not they want to see the product. Hence, I've never heard of
Robert Mapplethorpe.
The acting is good in general, especially from James Woods and Diana Scarwid. Low production values is the disappointment here.
It also has some weird editing going on which presents a one-sided viewpoint that's punctuated by many pro-Mapplethorpe
supporters. Of course, the outcome is a no-brainer as Dennis Barrie was going to be found not guilty of whatever he was
charged with.
All in all, often thought-provoking, Dirty Pictures further stretches the First Amendment rights discussion post
The People vs. Larry Flynt.
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/03, 11/06, 3/24
11/06:
In the past, I had given Dirty Rotten Scoundrels high marks, but now, no more.
It feels like a boring roller coaster with many twists and turns only to come to a predictable end.
Michael Caine and Steve Martin don't score enough laughter from me. Director Franz Oz should've focused more on the acting
than letting the story run amok for the devious charm of it. The slow pace doesn't help, either.
All in all, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels is below average.
3/24:
Upgrading my rating from '4' to '6', Dirty Rotten Scoundrels is an okay movie, but I don't see the point of remaking
Bedtime Story.
The latter was already good in most aspects; it's just that the rear projection effect needed to go and that they should've done the
whole thing on the French Rivieria instead of sound stage. To compare the leading stars, Michael Caine is much better than David
Niven while Steve Martin isn't in Marlon Brando's league and Anton Rodgers can't hold a candle to Aram Stephan.
Oddly, the movie is supposed to be funny, but I hardly laughed. It's been like this every time I've seen the film, going back to 1988,
which is a straightforward story of two con men. The ending is different this time, but the outcome is hardly likely.
All in all, anybody who liked Dirty Rotten Scoundrels needs to check out the original source and realize he's been
conned the whole time.
Dirty Work (1998)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/21
9/21:
Norm Macdonald recently passed away from leukemia at the young age of 61, so I decided to check out Dirty Work.
To be honest with you, I never thought of him as a funny guy, and the film is a resounding confirmation. It's a bad,
misogynistic movie that never made me laugh. Throughout, there's some sprinkling of animal sex. Uhhhh.....why?
Incredibly, this one is directed by none other than Bob Saget of Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos.
Sure, there's some kind of a plot going on, but the reality is: what the characters did was criminal. The two guys
who trashed the apartment building, they should've been arrested, sentenced to prison, and ordered to pay restitution.
Why would the victims talk to them afterwards? It makes no sense.
There's something eerie about the cast when I saw everybody showing up: Chris Farley, Gary Coleman, Ken Norton, Jack Warden,
and Don Rickles. Like Norm Macdonald, they're currently dead. My bet on the next person to die is
Artie Lange who developed a serious cocaine/heroin problem and did some bizarre things in his life. Even his nose
looks 100% ruined. (1/9/22 Author Note: Amazingly enough, Bob Saget died.)
All in all, it's unbelievable to see comedy films still failing to understand the definition of "funny."
Disappearing Acts (2000)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/20
2/20:
Disappearing Acts is a big step down for Wesley Snipes who made a career out of starring in high
profile pictures with A-list stars.
That being said, it's easy to see how too good he is in this made-for-TV flick. It mostly works, and Wesley
Snipes has nice chemistry with Sanaa Lathan. They both do a good job of getting through many scenes. Sanaa
Lathan is better, more refined, and less corny than she was in
Love & Basketball.
Disappearing Acts reminds me of
How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Unsurprisingly, both books
were authored by Terry McMillan. The latter is about age difference while the former is about education
difference which can be income as well. I can't help but wonder if it's a damning indictment against black men.
In other words, it's all about black women paying for everything while not minding their shortcomings.
In my opinion, the number one reason for the high rate of divorce/breakups is not knowing each other well enough.
Another factor is the tolerance level of individual's negatives. If it's low, the marriage/relationship won't
work out. One or both will end up having a short fuse. The third is financial which is the heart of this film.
Appearing overly buff, Wesley Snipes is a good-looking guy, so it's easy to see why Zora fell for his character. At
first, it's about appearances and probably sex. Once they're past them, the reality of the relationship begins to
sink in. That's what Disappearing Acts is about. I struggled the most with what rating to give: '6' or '7'.
It's because I didn't like Franklin due to his selfishness and thought Zora could do better than him. Yet he
didn't physically beat her or abandon his sons from first marriage and encouraged Zora to take responsibility
for the baby. So, I give him credit.
After seeing how their time together ended, I highly doubt Franklin will change. Sometimes, he moped
about not getting attention from Zora, and whenever problems occurred, he would resort to drinking and be boorish
and violent as a result. Franklin did cover up a lot of his problems from the outset before confessing them to
Zora when it got deeper which tells me he knew what he was doing and therefore laid a trap on her.
All in all, Disappearing Acts is a tough movie to watch but is realistic when it comes to relationships.
The Disaster Artist (2017)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
9/23
9/23:
I saw The Room first, read the book about what happened, and watched the film The Disaster Artist.
When I say this, I'm in the minority: The Room wasn't that bad. It's because I've seen worse movies that were made by
competent people. Also, I concluded Tommy Wiseau had to be either autistic or brain-damaged. The book, which is extremely
funny by the way, proved me correct.
While watching The Disaster Artist, I knew right away James Franco got the character absolutely wrong. It's like he saw
the potential but decided to make Tommy Wiseau as his own. That being said, Daniel Day-Lewis would've been the perfect choice
and could've won an Oscar while at it.
Ditto for the film which captures, I'll say, approximately 10% of the book. I'm disappointed to see many little things missing.
Others have been changed for no reason (the omission of The Talented Mr. Ripley?). What I can't get over is how silly
Dave Franco looks as Greg Sestero. Why cast him in the first place if he can't be natural-looking? It's the most distracting
aspect of the whole thing.
All in all, you should read the book The Disaster Artist because it's so much better and funnier than the film.
Disclosure (1994)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/04, 1/25
1/25:
People had incorrectly said that Disclosure was a unique major Hollywood movie for dealing with sexual
harassment by having the male call out a female for it (that would be
The Temp which was made a year earlier).
Anyway, yes...the situation sounds quite unlikely, yet it does happen. However, there are other issues that plague
the film, having troubled me since I first saw it in 1994. I just don't get this...was the sexual harassment
Bob Garvin's idea the whole time? If so, why couldn't he simply let Tom Sanders go if he didn't like him? Either
way, why now, considering the upcoming merger? What's the purpose of sabotaging his own company in this manner?
Where did Meredith Johnson come from? Had she worked for the company prior to being named vice president?
If it was Bob Garvin's idea after all, why would Meredith be willing to risk everything she had worked for to
do this? How could Tom trust his boss and co-workers (Don Cherry, Mark Lewyn, and Mary Anne Hunter) again
after they told him how they felt about the situation? Why didn't Stephanie Kaplan appear in person to
help out instead of sending him anonymous emails consisting of totally cryptic messages?
As for the workplace sexual encounter, I have to say it was 70% Meredith's fault and 30% Tom's fault. Let's
replay the scene to examine a couple of key moments when the latter allowed it to happen in the first
place even though the former was the instigator the whole time. After Meredith asked Tom to give him a shoulder
rub, he proceeded to do it. I was like, "Um, why? That means he's actually interested in her." Then, there's
his infamous remark: "Want to get fucked? Is that what you want?" At any rate, Tom's wife should've
asked for divorce after hearing all on tape.
Regardless, Disclosure is a high-quality film with matching performances and a strong script.
Everything looks on the level, business-wise. A lot of reviewers have sneered at the VR technology and called
it "outdated." To be honest with you, I thought it was quite good for the time. But I don't get why the
need for it just to open files and folders. Anyone can do the same thing in Windows with a mouse.
All in all, despite the head-scratching plot holes, Disclosure is a well-made movie.
Disorder in the Court (1936)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
Disorder in the Court was going okay until it started to nosedive.
All in all, the Three Stooges are going to have to come up with better stuff.
Disorderlies (1987)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/03, 11/10
11/10:
My head shook in disbelief while watching Disorderlies.
Whose bright idea was it to cast the fat (c)rappers in the leading roles? I would have to call them Stupid Fat Boys.
Taking a guess on whose lover Mr. Lowry was acquainted with won't be hard. By the way, he does look like Mr. Jameson from an
episode "Mystery Weekend" on Saved by the Bell. Miguel playing with his left ear and, at one point, leaving
a Q-tip in it, uh...perhaps he has an ear infection that needs to be looked at?
One scene shows two Stupid Fat Boys loading bullets in their Uzis. Uh...they aren't correct for this type of
gun. Idiots. I ventured to guess that each of the Stupid Fat Boys had gained another two Cs or three in weight, but
it turns out one of them died from a cardiac arrest after ballooning to 450 lbs. Now, can you say, "No fucking surprise"?
All in all, Disorderlies is a dated, humorless crapola.
The Distinguished Gentleman (1992)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/14
7/14:
If there's a strong reason to believe politics is synonymous with corruption, look no further than
The Distinguished Gentleman.
There are good segments, but the film shouldn't be a comedy; it's more suited for drama.
Because of the poorly developed script, I wish the writers took their time. The concept is as good as
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and as hard-edged as
Primary Colors.
I have a BS meter test, especially when it comes to listening to somebody for two minutes before determining if he's a fraud or not.
Well, Eddie Murphy's character doesn't survive it for more than thirty seconds. Hence, it's hard to believe that
he can fool everybody in Washington, D.C.
In the last twenty minutes, for a desperate attempt at deus ex machina, he hatches a big plan to make good with
everybody by getting the bad guys. I was like, "Really? Long ways to go." So, power lines cause cancer? Can't anyone come up
with a better and more believable hook? The ending is comparable to a toilet being flushed.
All in all, The Distinguished Gentleman has a promising premise that's not capitalized on much.
Disturbia (2007)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/09
2/09:
Disturbia is the teenage version of Rear Window that's coupled with
high amount of dumbness.
It should've been re-titled as Dumburbia. The first rule of spying is to turn the lights off. As we live
in the 21st century and people value their privacy, many residences don't have windows that are totally
unconcealed. By the way, why do I have to look at a fifteen-year-old jailbait in bikini?
Meanwhile, Shit Beef Loaf plays a full-blown loser. David Morse is so typecast that it's predictable of him to play
the killer. Who the heck in his right mind bags a dead deer and leave it in the garage, thus stinking up the whole
neighborhood? Serial killers aren't easily caught, and after murdering some people, Mr. Turner will have developed
enough experience to stay low.
All in all, Dumburbia is no Hitchcockian film.
Disturbing Behavior (1998)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/14
7/14:
Disturbing Behavior?
Criminal is more like it. The teen rip-off of Invasion of the Body Snatchers offers nothing new but is more of the
same from wannabe stars. In fact, I don't recognize any of them except for one whose claim to fame is having been married
to Tom Cruise while being brainwashed by Scientology.
Thankfully, Disturbing Behavior is 75 minutes long. For a while, the pothead character is annoying to listen to, but
once he's converted, the film is easier to bear the rest of the way. When the two crazy kids decide to break into an insane
asylum and leave after finding out the girl's identity, I don't know how the information is pertinent when it comes to solving
the mystery. Speaking of the ending, I guess the insinuation is more crappy sequels which never happened.
All in all, Disturbing Behavior is a straight F turkey.
Divine Secrets of the
Ya-Ya Sisterhood (2002)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/05
8/05:
How fucking ya-ya this movie is.
It's so pointless that I want to buy a handgun and shoot everybody in the cast. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
is slow which is about airy, bitchy female characters engaging in worthless conflicts that I don't give a flying
fuck about.
All in all, the following axiom holds true: chick flicks suck.
Dizzy Detectives (1943)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
Dizzy Detective is stupid, boring, and dumb.
All in all, like I said before, the Three Stooges are going to have to come up with better stuff.
Dizzy Pilots (1943)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
Didn't the Wright brothers invent the airplane?
The final four minutes of Dizzy Pilots is exactly the same as Boobs in Arms.
All in all, why couldn't the Three Stooges come up with something new?
Do the Right Thing (1989)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
10/06
10/06:
Let's all Do the Right Thing by not letting Spike Lee direct any more films.
Listening to the constant profanity, idiot talk, and illogical arguments isn't my cup of tea. I'm not sure what's so
special about the movie except it's about "racism" and...and...and... In fact, Spike Lee probably doesn't know the meaning of
the word while committing an irony: being racist himself.
Virtually all characters have third grade education. I don't know why I'm supposed to be interested in their
problems. Who the hell cares? What kind of moron muscles his way through to keep the 200 dB music blaring and do
nothing productive all day? He, with his stupid gold, looks like a drug dealer and should be shot dead on the spot for being
a fucking idiot.
All in all, I should've done the right thing by not seeing Do the Right Thing.
The Doctor (1991)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/16
6/16:
After working together in Children of a Lesser God, William Hurt and Randa Haines decided to re-team for The Doctor.
William Hurt is all over the map as Dr. MacKee: great, bizarre, good, annoying, honest, insincere, likeable, and unlikeable.
It's difficult to pinpoint the correct adjective that fits him the most. I hate his character, don't care for him,
and hope not to have a doctor like him.
The other problem is Randa Haines' direction. Although the movie looks medically professional, there are boring parts and
undeveloped subplots with no closure. MacKee's relationship with the woman who's diagnosed with a grade IV brain tumor feels
out of place. Ditto for his son. Coming out of the blue is Dr. Kaplan's malpractice lawsuit which isn't clear, either.
Everybody is too healthy-looking to be sick with cancer. William Hurt also looks great in the beginning, the middle, and
the end despite his throat cancer and many sessions of radiation therapy. Elizabeth Perkins looks terrific for somebody who
has brain tumor. It's amazing how they do it. By the way, Elizabeth Perkins didn't shave her head for the role. Boo!
All in all, The Doctor makes a good point about doctors not showing compassion for their patients, but the direction
feels manipulative and smarmy.
Doctor Faustus (1967)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/17
3/17:
Based on Christopher Marlowe's play which is the first and perhaps the only to make it on screen, Doctor Faustus is
a near one-man show with Richard Burton playing the eponymous character as he sells his soul in exchange for 24 years of
knowing the works and doings of the Devil.
I read the play twice but never came away impressed. The language was stale, and the story never felt interesting. Hence, the
movie is exactly how I imagined it to be but a bit better albeit the cheap theatrical production values. Yet the screenplay
is surprisingly good and easy to follow.
However, Doctor Faustus feels like a 60's movie with many colorful lights and instances of Bacchanal behavior. Also, it
can be tough to sit through some of the static scenes while listening to the monologue. In a way, it'll have been more
enjoyable under the influence of drugs, most especially LSD.
At her most beautiful, replete with makeup, Elizabeth Taylor makes a silent cameo appearance from time to time through dreams
to help break up the monotony. Or maybe the movie is about Richard Burton selling his soul for Elizabeth Taylor.
Interestingly, he lived another seventeen years before dying from a brain hemorrhage in 1984. His ex-wife died in 2011.
One scene of Elizabeth Taylor being covered in silver paint reminds me of
Goldfinger which was filmed a few years
earlier. Probably the most perfect choice for the titular role, Richard Burton tries his best and can be either great or
underwhelming. It's more of a "take it or leave it" proposal because there's not another example. I wonder if it would've been
interesting had Yul Brynner played Mephistopheles.
All in all, if you're a serious fan of Richard Burton, Elizabeth Taylor's beauty, or 17th century plays, you'll like
Doctor Faustus; otherwise, take a pass.
Doctor Zhivago (1965)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
1/09
1/09:
Having seen The Bridge on the River Kwai and
Lawrence of Arabia, I had high expectations coming into Doctor Zhivago.
Afterwards, oh my goodness...the movie is so bad. David Lean's specialness is never there. My best guess is the
director thought he could get away with it scot-free, no matter how vague things were. It would prove to be the greatest
mistake of David Lean's career, leading to his downfall.
Basically, Doctor Zhivago is about a man with Cocker Spaniel eyes who cheats on his wife by willingly walking through the
harsh Siberian winters just to bang a blue-eyed slut. What a wonderful accomplishment by David Lean to convey this to me in
three hours and twenty minutes of wasted reel. Because of the fake snow, it's humorous to see many characters unaffected
by the harsh environment through their facial makeup to show how much they struggled.
All in all, David Lean is an emperor with no clothes.
Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
7/05, 6/07, 7/18
7/05:
Al Pacino is stunning in Dog Day Afternoon.
I love the ending which sends a message to Sonny that this shit is real and that stupid actions have consequences.
All in all, Dog Day Afternoon is among the greatest movies made.
6/07:
In the test against time, Dog Day Afternoon has lost some luster and doesn't have many surprises.
Al Pacino's mesmerizing performance marks the final of his four straight Oscar nominations during the 70's.
He playing a homosexual character is the only aspect that's hard to believe.
For John Cazale, it's one of the five pictures (all were nominated for Best Picture and three were selected which must be a
record) that he was part of during his lifetime before his untimely death from lung cancer. Charles Durning is phenomenal, but his
role is too brief. Chris Sarandon scores a deserving Oscar nomination as the cross-dressing lover.
All in all, Dog Day Afternoon is a gem.
7/18:
Here's a classic of the bank robbery genre: Dog Day Afternoon.
For the final Oscar nomination of four straight during the 70's, Al Pacino turns in the greatest performance of his career
as Sonny Wortzik (the actual name was John Wojtowicz). Take a look at any actor of today, and you'll realize
quickly that all can't capture the emotions as felt by Al Pacino for somebody who's committed the first bank robbery of his life.
Although the true purpose of the bank robbery was to fund a sex change operation for Wojtowicz's gay lover, it was also rumored
to pay off his debt to Mafia loan sharks for the wedding. After Wojtowicz sold his rights to the story that led to the
filming of Dog Day Afternoon, it's when he finally got the money to pay for the operation.
Although many performances are fantastic, it's Chris Sarandon who stands out the most. As a reward, he was Oscar-nominated.
By the way, the top FBI man is Matthew Broderick's father, and the 12-year-old son was occasionally taken to the film set and
met Al Pacino. Who knew he would be the future Ferris Bueller?
All in all, Dog Day Afternoon is everything that anyone can ask for a human drama picture.
Dogfight (1991)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
Don't be fooled...Dogfight is a misogynistic "love" story.
I hate the loser characters that make up the four B's. Instead of their last names, each should be called
"Bullshit." The way they tricked unsuspecting women, including an American Indian, into the game, I lost interest
in the film thereafter and hoped they would be dead which did happen at the end except for River Phoenix's
character Birdlace. Those who got scammed by them will be relieved to learn of it.
Rose Fenny, played by Lili Taylor, is too naive to realize she got set up as an easy lay. Birdlace's
mention of having done "six different dogfights" should tell her how much of
an asshole he is just like his friends. Of course, he came back to her a few years later because he's a
broken-down loser with virtually no options left in his life. But before doing so, he had to stop by a bar
across Rose's café for a drink; otherwise, he would've been ecstatic, running after her. Also, why the lie about
making it with an officer's wife instead of what really happened? Hint: Birdlace is embarrassed of Rose. Don't
be surprised to find out he has had dozens of whores in Vietnam given that he's a marine.
The script...oh, my goodness...so much profanity. Every time somebody cussed, it made me cringe. Had the characters
ceased doing it altogether, they might be worth the time to get acquainted with. Then again, the four losers'
reputation has been ruined by staging dogfights. Elsewhere, the performances aren't anything special, although Lili
Taylor somewhat shines through, while their conversations are merely average. By the way, during the fight against
the three B's, one of the sailors is Brendan Fraser who makes his screen debut.
All in all, Dogfight is an extraordinarily poor pick by River Phoenix.
Dogma (1999)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/16
2/16:
Kevin Smith is still full of shit.
So, what else is new? If there's anything I'm disappointed at Dogma, it's Alan Rickman's willingness to be
part of the cast. What the hell happened to him? That guy used to be good.
All in all, Dogma is a low point in pseudo-intellectualism.
The Dogs of War (1980)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/12, 11/19
11/12:
Of course, Christopher Walken had to have the Manville 25mm Projectile Launcher.
It's a kick-ass type of gun that makes The Dogs of War a compelling film. In many ways, it's a
sequel to The Deer Hunter because Christopher Walken's character wants to take revenge on all who torture POWs.
Elsewhere, Tom Berenger is in pre-Platoon form but is mostly disappointing.
All in all, if you want to see a true mercenary picture, look no further than The Dogs of War.
11/19:
What's shown in The Dogs of War seems accurate but is tame as compared to the stark reality of living in
Sub-Saharan Africa as described in Keith Richburg's book Out of America: A Black Man Confronts Africa.
The film has a good build-up during the first hour and then loses momentum as soon as Christopher Walken's character is
forcefully sent back home. From there on, it ceases to be interesting although the ideas, most especially of the coup d'etat,
are good. The last twenty minutes is mundane and predictable. While the subplots with the black kid and the ex-wife
may appear terrible and worthless, they serve a purpose by sketching what kind of a character James Shannon is.
Yeah, the Manville 25mm Projectile Launcher looks awesome, but let's not forget the movie, guys. At least, the manually-turned
swinging bridge, which is one of the largest in the world, is cool to see. Here's a fun fact: the line "Cry
'Havoc!' and let slip the dogs of war" was uttered by Marc Antony in Act 3, Scene 1, line 273 of William Shakespeare's
Julius Caesar.
Of the cast, Christopher Walken is the best thing going. Unfortunately, Tom Berenger is forgettable as he
makes no impression; it's been reported half of the film featuring him had been cut out. Married...with Children's
Ed O'Neill doesn't have much meat while JoBeth Williams is wasted.
All in all, The Dogs of War is the ultimate mercenary picture.
Dolemite (1975)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/25
5/25:
Shaft, Super Fly, and
Dolemite...that's anybody's education of Blaxploitation pictures to start off with.
This one is the most ridiculous of them all, but it's unintentionally funny which is often referenced in
black films, especially with Eddie Murphy, and elsewhere. Also, it may be the ultimate parody of the 70's without
meaning to. Nonsensical plot, terrible acting, weak kung-fu action, over-the-top lines, and outrageous pimp
clothes rule the day. Among the highlights are:
"You no-business bond, insecure, junkyard motherfucker!"
"Bitch, you bring me these goddamn cotton draws. You know I don't wear no fuckin' cotton draws."
"Shit, I'm so bad, I kick my own ass twice a day."
"Give that to Willie Green. And tell him I want him out of here in 24 hours. And 23 of 'em are already gone.
You understand?"
"You rat-soup-eatin' honky motherfucker!"
"Ghosts, if you ever see a ghost, cut the motherfucker."
"And I'm gonna let 'em know that Dolemite is back on the scene. I'm gonna let 'em know that Dolemite is my name,
and fuckin' up motherfuckers is my game."
Remember Platoon when Charlie Sheen yelled at a one-legged
villager to dance and shot around his foot in the dirt? I'm pretty sure that came from Dolemite. It won't
be surprising if Samuel L. Jackson watched this film a lot to learn the art and science of saying "motherfucker"
that he's so famous for.
Regardless, the first half goes well with a lot of absurd moments, causing me to laugh out of pity. By the time
the club scene is shown with Dolemite doing stand-up comedy, that's when the film started to lose momentum.
The rest of the way is nothing like how it was before, giving me the feeling that everybody stopped caring
anymore and wanted it over with ASAP. You may be shocked to notice Nicholas Josef von Sternberg as
the cinematographer in the opening credits, and yep...that's his son.
All in all, Dolemite is so bad that you'll laugh.
Dolls (1986)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
Believe it or not, I had been meaning to see Dolls for decades but never did until now because of my
hate for Child's Play.
The wait has been well worth it. If not for Carrie Lorraine and Stephen Lee as Judy and Ralph, respectively,
the film wouldn't have worked out. It has its moments and is quite short in running length at 77 minutes.
The lightning effect is put to good use at the right moments on top of the haunted house that seems to be
straight out of Burnt Offerings. By the way, the old man's wife is
played by Hilary Mason, and she was the blind psychic in Don't Look Now.
Sure, there are weak parts here and there due to the somewhat low budget of $2 million, but the movie is not bad
for the most part. As for the characters, it's simple to tell from the get-go who'll live and die. I
like how Judy played it safe at the end to be free of all dolls and her own teddy bear before leaving
the mansion as to say, "Hey, thanks, but...no thanks."
Having taken a year to complete, the stop motion animation work with the dolls is impressive, especially
when the soldiers lined up to fire at one of the Madonna wannabe hitchhikers. How the dolls come to life
makes sense as they are people who had once visited the mansion and were either killed or transformed,
hence the ugly-looking entities inside them.
Back to Carrie Lorraine and Stephen Lee, I wondered what happened to them afterwards. The former never did
another film which is a surprise; she was the least annoying child actor I could recall in a long time. But
the latter died of a heart attack in 2014 at age 58. He actually had a role in
Seinfeld as the indecisive carpenter installing new cabinets in Jerry's
apartment during an episode entitled "The Nap" of Season Eight.
All in all, forget Child's Play; Dolls is the one to see.
Dolly Dearest (1991)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/20
2/20:
Dolly Dearest is a bona fide rip-off of Child's Play.
I hate both films and don't understand the public's fascination with killer dolls. It has a weak plot that's filled
with moronic lines such as "I am not losing my daughter to a goddamned nine-hundred-year-old goat head!"
Why would a doll factory be located next to a crypt that was used for Satan worship? Where were the employees
the whole time save for one who was just killed? At the house, I thought the mother fired the maid in the afternoon, and yet
she still hung around that night before getting killed?
After arriving in Mexico, Marilyn doesn't spend much time with her daughter. Her mindlessly stupid husband, played by Sam
Bottoms who's the spitting image of his brother Timothy from The Last Picture Show, notices nothing amiss. That's
because he's barely around, preferring to waste his time at the factory during the middle of the night every evening.
The worst child actor of 1991 goes to...Chris Demetral. He's the single reason why I had a hard time getting through
Dolly Dearest. If not for him, it might have gotten a '5' from me. The annoying pipsqueak is in too many
scenes, overacts constantly, and wears icky-looking clothes that can only come from Kmart and are never dirty
after he's done exploring the cave.
All in all, if I never see a killer doll film again, it'll be too soon.
Dolores Claiborne (1995)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/12, 3/24
11/12:
You might say Dolores Claiborne is a chick film.
Kathy Bates gives a tour de force performance, recapturing the same magic from Misery that saw her win the
Oscar. Hence, I'm surprised Kathy Bates wasn't nominated again.
On the other hand, I have mixed feelings about Jennifer Jason Leigh's performance. I admit her character is so
annoying by acting like a spoiled brat throughout. But I'm going to be objective and say she did well.
The best performance of the show goes to Judy Parfitt as Vera Donovan.
The plot is captivating as it kept me glued from start to end. It's a fine piece of work by Taylor Hackford who
has done a great job in the storytelling department as evidenced in
Everybody's All-American;
What's Eating Gilbert Grape;
The Idolmaker; Blood In, Blood Out;
and the ever-romantic classic An Officer and a Gentleman.
All in all, Dolores Claiborne is a superb haunting flick.
3/24:
Dropping a point in my rating, Dolores Claiborne is still well-made, but it's too long.
Kathy Bates and Judy Parfitt are at their best while Jennifer Jason Leigh is annoying. The weird part is the
daughter not remembering what her father did to her when she was a kid. Of course, she has to cut down on the
drugs, drinking, and smoking because they're clearly poisoning her mind. By the way, the film was never shot on
location in Maine but Nova Scotia, Canada. Some people have wrongly classified Dolores Claiborne as a
horror picture when it's been 100% drama all the way through.
All in all, Kathy Bates got robbed of an Oscar nomination for Dolores Claiborne.
Domestic Disturbance (2001)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
4/05
4/05:
John Travolta, Vince Vaughn, and Steve Buscemi are in the same film for Domestic Disturbance?
The idea sounded good until I saw it. Getting into the story, I felt thrilled. Suddenly, after the custody case, the
energy got sucked out like a blown tire. It's official: the actors did it for the money. In a way,
Domestic Disturbance is like The Stepfather but with lots of gaps.
John Travolta looks limited. Trying so hard to be a villain, Vince Vaughn scares only a little boy. I have no complaints
for Steve Buscemi. What bothers me is the kid has too much screen time, even more than the seasoned actors.
All in all, it's a good thing that Domestic Disturbance is a short movie.
Dominick and Eugene (1988)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/09, 9/20
7/09:
Dominick and Eugene is an impressive film; it's also low key to make for a satisfying viewing.
Tom Hulce and Ray Liotta are terrific, and Todd Graff, who plays Larry, gives an underrated performance. Jamie Lee Curtis does
a nice job of not getting in the way by pretending to be a fly on the wall. What I like the most about is the story although
it has parallels to Of Mice and Men but, this time, with a good ending. There's an interesting mystery going on which
will be cleared up.
The issue with Dominick is tough because it's kind of unfair to Eugene to deal with it who wants to have time
for himself while hoping for his twin brother's independence. Therefore, the situation presents no easy answers because it's
difficult to deal with somebody who has a serious cognitive disability. By the way, if you notice the front cover of the DVD
movie, Tom Hulce isn't sporting the silver tooth when he's supposed to for his character. He kept it on throughout the
production, regardless.
All in all, they don't make films like Dominick and Eugene nowadays.
9/20:
Dominick and Eugene is a heartwarming picture with strong performances by Ray Liotta and Tom Hulce.
There's a bit of mystery going on which will be eventually cleared up, beginning with Dominick's delayed reaction to what
happened with the boy and his father. Once the situation is understood, it becomes clear how he came to be this way and
why his brother is eternally grateful to him.
Eugene has been under an enormous amount of pressure because of work while dealing with his brother who either picks up new
bad habits or does the same stuff over and over. After working out the kinks with him, Eugene is ready to let him go
so he can pursue his opportunity in California. Hence, the ending is justified.
Ray Liotta and Tom Hulce are strong actors, and it's nice to see them together. What they did goes a long way
in making the movie special. Jamie Lee Curtis helps them out and does well. Todd Graff's character may be annoying, but his
purpose is served by showing Dominick things to do in life. Of course, David Strathairn always has to
play the bad guy. Therefore, filmmakers have done an excellent job of giving everybody plenty of character development.
All in all, Dominick and Eugene is a lot like Of Mice and Men but with a happy ending.
Domino (2005)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
What Domino requires from me is a short attention span.
Unfortunately, I don't possess it. That being said, I have no clue what the film is about, but I must point out the
camera suffering from some sort of a grand mal seizure. Scenes come like a rapid machine gun fire and vanish in matter of
seconds, forbidding me to absorb anything.
The only reason why I picked up the film in the first place is Mickey Rourke. Apparently, his screen time is
limited; hence, he has nothing to work with. What a fall for one of the greatest actors of his generation.
Afterwards, from the DVD special features, I watched the biography about the real Domino Harvey. My initial
thought was she looked like a dope addict. Bored, I didn't bother watching the rest of it. Then, I went online
to check out her story. It turns out she died of a drug overdose in 2005 at the age of 35. Hey, Tony...mind
telling me what makes this worthless girl so important to merit a biopic?
All in all, it's time to take the director's chair away from Tony Scott.
Don Juan DeMarco (1994)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/03, 10/03, 7/08, 4/25
7/08:
Don Juan DeMarco is a nice romance picture that's full of imagination.
I like the story. There are actually three going on at once. Johnny Depp is dreamy and perfect as the eponymous
character. Marlon Brando finally gets his act together to give the best performance in a very long time. He being
paired with Faye Dunaway is A plus. She's able to match him scene for scene and seems to enjoy herself as well.
All in all, Don Juan DeMarco is well-made, thanks to Marlon Brando and Johnny Depp on top of the excellent
writing by Jeremy Leven.
4/25:
Don Juan DeMarco is a rare movie with past-his-prime Marlon Brando at his best behavior.
I'm sure he did it as a personal favor to Johnny Depp. Three stories are told at the same time, and the ultimate
question is: is the boy for real? Either way, the fantasy succeeds, and the therapist and his wife are affected by
it. That's all everybody needs to make the romance work.
All in all, top-notch writing is always the answer, and Don Juan DeMarco has got it.
Donnie Brasco (1997)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/04, 3/06, 2/25
3/06:
I initially thought of Donnie Brasco as a terrific mob picture but not anymore.
Boring for the most part, it doesn't have much to offer except for the twist. Al Pacino is great, but Johnny Depp
isn't in his league. They lack depth, but I like their chemistry.
All in all, Donnie Brasco has left me desiring for more.
2/25:
Donnie Brasco is better now.
As a teacher to Johnny Depp, Al Pacino has moments of brilliance. It's the way he talks and how the lines roll
off his tongue. In other words, he's a gifted actor. My favorite is when he said, "Thirty years busting my hump.
For what? A lion."
The screenplay is authentic as most of it was taken from actual wiretaps, hence the film's sole
Oscar nomination. Joseph D. Pistone deemed everything to be "85% accurate" and wasn't able to see his family for
over two years. He makes a cameo appearance when he says, "Mr. Tafficante's leaving" while the boat
("The Left Hand") is docked.
Johnny Depp gives one of the better performances of his career. His character's confusion is interesting because
the Joseph D. Pistone in him has a hard time understanding that Lefty Ruggiero is nothing more than a weasel
mob guy. There's also the Donnie Brasco part that relishes the mafia life, creating a conflict with his wife.
In the meantime, good supporting performances are rendered, especially by Michael Madsen and Anne Heche.
Although the story is true, there are significant differences. Everything with Lefty Ruggiero actually happened
through him and Sonny Black combined. Lefty stayed alive until 1994. Ditto for Santora (Bruno Kirby) who
died in 2018. It's not the first time an undercover man infiltrated the mob; that would be Michael Malone of the
Treasury Department who was part of Al Capone's gang, gathering enough information to indict him and Frank Nitti
on tax envasion charges.
And there was Joe Valachi, as a connected informer, who confirmed the existence of the Mafia through the name
"cosa nostra" for the first time ever and exposed its inner workings in depth. As an FBI agent, Joseph D. Pistone
went the furthest of anyone, which took six years in total, almost becoming a made man. Consequently, the
Bonanno family was decimated and thrown out of the Commission although the original plan was to target the
Columbo family which was unsuccessful, causing the switch to Lefty.
All in all, Al Pacino is the biggest reason for the success of Donnie Brasco.
Donnie Darko (2001)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/03, 2/17
2/17:
I remember watching Donnie Darko in 2003 and coming away unimpressed, prompting me to give it a '2'.
It was many years later that I spotted the title in IMDb's top 250 films. My reaction was: "You must be fucking kidding
me." So, I decided to check it out again to see if I was maybe wrong. Afterwards, I said, "Nope."
Donnie Darko is a stupid, pretentious movie about nothing. According to IMDb: "At the wrap party for the film,
Seth Rogen and Jake Gyllenhaal agreed that they had no idea what the movie was about." Me, too.
I read the book A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking, and it's not applicable to what's going on.
Oh, yeah...good luck with getting through the book because it's boring and not well-written.
Because of his emo look and shit-eating grin, I hate Jake Gyllenhaal. What an awful performance.
An imaginary six-foot tall bunny? Are you kidding me? That was stolen from Harvey starring James Stewart. The
movie claims to take place during the late 80's. *roll my eyes* Yeah, right. Middlesex County, Virginia? I know where that is,
and trust me, there are no fucking mountains in the vicinity...not for many miles. You'll have to go all the way
to the west where the Appalachian Mountains are.
As for the inclusion of Donnie Darko in IMDb's Top 250 Films list, I have a theory. Having scanned the titles, it
appears most of the voters are fanboys who are addicted to comic books, retarded physics, and psychotropic drugs. Yeah...that
must be it. A massive box-office failure in 2001, Donnie Darko is about mental illness. The reason why it's highly rated
is that they can relate a lot to Donnie Darko who happens to be a fucked-up person to the nth degree.
All in all, Donnie Darko is for retards.
Don't Bother to Knock (1952)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
The best film ever by Marilyn Monroe?
Why...it's Don't Bother to Knock which might be the only one worth watching of her career. Let's face it:
Marilyn Monroe wasn't a good actress, and there may be some, if not total, truth in her role as she was
like that in real life which ended with a possible suicide. Her character's mental disorder is quite accurate.
Giving the film more credence is the presence of Richard Widmark to set up the noir vibe. His
character didn't know what he was in for after first seeing a lonely woman across the building. Once
she signaled that it's okay to come over, that should've told him what's wrong with her, hence the film title. At
the end, he found out the hard way. At least, he didn't get wrongly accused should something go wrong.
Granted, the story is plenty stupid. The guy starts being sympathetic to the loon's problems, his singer-girlfriend
suddenly sees the good in him, and they're together again? Ha! By the way, Anne Bancroft makes her screen
debut although she's unrecognizable for the most part if I think of how she looked in later films such
as The Miracle Worker and
The Graduate.
All in all, Marilyn Monroe was average throughout her career, but she got the chance to prove critics wrong
in Don't Bother to Knock.
Don't Look Now (1973)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
11/04, 12/05, 1/11
12/05:
Don't Look Now is a superb psychic thriller classic with a chilling climax finale.
It's also beautifully shot, setting up the future for Nicolas Roeg to direct motion pictures. He has a great eye.
Finally, this is the film that I can say Julie Christie gave a good performance. Her career has been overrated since forever.
Julie Christie's chemistry with Donald Sutherland is dynamite with a lovemaking scene that's the highlight of the show.
All in all, Don't Look Now is a must-see.
1/11:
Don't Look Now is still stunning, and it's also well-photographed.
Many films about the supernatural and telepathy tend not to work out, but this one is heads and shoulders above
them. Thanks to the chemistry between Julie Christie and Donald Sutherland, the ten-minute sequence of
them making love and getting dressed to go out is one of the best ever.
All in all, Don't Look Now is a must-see psychic thriller.
Don't Tell Mom
the Babysitter's Dead (1991)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/10
9/10:
I remember watching Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead many years ago and liking it.
But now, it's a stupid flick. Not only is the premise unbelievable, but it also will never work. Here are the following reasons:
First, Christina Applegate, who gained fame from Married... with Children, looks too old for the part. Cuing Melanie
Griffith from Working Girl, she, as Swell (you have to be kidding me if that's her name), does the exact same thing
by walking through the city in high heels. Hmm...well, enjoy the pain afterwards.
Second, the fact that Swell is a high school graduate who's going to apply to a community college tells me she's a
dumb person. Thus, there's no way she would be able to pull off the shit after one day working at the office.
Third, why is a co-worker willing to do everything for Swell? It'll never happen.
Fourth, pretending to be what the résumé says, it won't work if Swell doesn't have the vocabulary and
office lingo. Anyone can see the fraud in her. By the way, what happened to reference and background checks?
All of the characters are unlikable, and the budding romantic relationship between Swell and the Clown Corn Dog employee is
dumb. To fix up the house for a fashion show (whoa, whoa...check out the ugly clothes, and they're called "uniforms"??),
it'll cost a lot of money. To accomplish it in a few days, considering how screwed-up the house is, isn't going to happen.
One of the five kids is a habitual thief who gifted a diamond ring to a girl, and his name is Christopher Pettiet.
Unsurprisingly, he was a real-life drug addict, who probably dabbled a lot of it during the filming, and died in 2000. Anyway,
the acting is somewhat poor, and many scenes have the dreadful made-for-TV feel.
All in all, Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead is an okay film to pass the time, but I shudder at the premise.
The Doors (1991)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/03, 10/04, 6/05, 10/21
6/05:
One described Oliver Stone's The Doors as "outrageous, exciting, boring, insightful, silly, and overly pretentious"
which sounds right to me.
The film drones on and on without any substance. I keep waiting for something interesting about the famous 60's rock band, but
it never comes. Jim Morrison's death, as anticipated, is neither shocking nor a revelation.
Yet Val Kilmer does a great job, sometimes too great, of portraying the famed rocker. The film places more focus on him and his
wasted lifestyle of indulgence and drugs than the band members.
All in all, The Doors is a lethargic picture that sports Val Kilmer's almost-too-real performance of Jim Morrison.
10/21:
It's still an astonishing acting job by Val Kilmer in The Doors.
Val Kilmer didn't just play Jim Morrison; he became Jim Morrison. None of the actual band members had issues with Val
Kilmer's performance as they frequently couldn't tell his voice apart from Jim Morrison's. Instead, they ripped the movie
apart for not giving them much of attention.
Let's be real: The Doors is synonymous with Jim Morrison. When he died, the band died. In four years, they released six albums
which is a staggering output. Their music is universal and has deep lyrics, and many songs are among the best and most
memorable ever like "Break on Through," "Riders on the Storm," and "Light My Fire." Most can agree The Doors didn't have a
bad song in their catalog. One of them is the perfect opening for Francis Ford Coppola's timeless picture
Apocalypse Now: "The End."
The Doors is a creative film that's been converted into a psychedelic trip. Val Kilmer is often floating in and out;
the significant events as shown are generally accurate although Oliver Stone messes with the truth a lot.
The best scene is when Kyle MacLachlan had an unbelievable vision of Val Kilmer onstage dancing with
a couple of American Indians.
The casting choices are inspired. Whoever came up with Kyle MacLachlan as Ray Manzarek should be congratulated. Meg Ryan
finally gives a believable performance that isn't too Meg Ryan-y. Nobody went after Val Kilmer; he did that all himself,
going so far to memorize the songs and mimic Jim Morrison in every way possible, sending his music demo to Oliver
Stone, and never breaking out of his character for a solid year. If anyone thought Val Kilmer gave the performance of his
career in Tombstone, it isn't even half as brilliant as he was in The Doors. That being said, Val Kilmer
got robbed of an Oscar for Best Actor.
All in all, to watch The Doors is to be awed by Val Kilmer as Jim Morrison.
Double Impact (1991)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
8/12, 12/21
8/12:
I remember Double Impact when it came out and how cool it was to see Jean-Claude Van Damme twice on the same screen.
But now, it's annoying because of the obvious horrible white shadow around one of them. I'm sure the editors put the two
overlapping reels together and played them as one. Well, the movie is boring due to the running length which is thirty
minutes too long.
Once again, Van Damme teams up with Bolo Yeung for the second time, and Bolo plays a villain for the hundredth time, doing the
same routine (always using some sign language/gestures during the fight) for the thousandth time, and losing/dying for
the millionth time. Hey, I like him, but...enough is enough.
There isn't much of a story which contains the same mindless Van Damme stuff I've seen many times before. The funniest scene has
to be Alex getting drunk while having an overactive imagination. Corinna Everson, who stars as the henchwoman with lots of
muscles, is indeed a six-time Miss Olympia champion.
All in all, Double Impact is a typical kung fu Van Damme picture, allowing him to flex his muscles frequently.
12/21:
I remember how cool it was to see Jean-Claude Van Damme twice in Double Impact.
What they did with him was revolutionary although Dead Ringers came first and I wasn't aware of it back then (the movie
didn't do well at the box office anyway). I had a hard time finding the trick in many scenes although there were a few
that used superimposition. No matter what, I was sold. Today, the novelty holds up well. Van Damme still does a good job, and it's
a credit to his acting range.
However, Double Impact deserves a weak rating of '6' which is better than '4' based on the last time I saw it. The main
issue is that there's too much action. The movie runs for 110 minutes which is overlong in my book for a low-budget martial
action film. Make it twenty minutes shorter, and we might have a winner. Then again, it's average in many ways although
the story isn't bad.
The funniest scene is Alex's overactive imagination of what Chad would do to his girlfriend, causing him to be drunk
in the process. But it's still the same guy she's screwing! I'm sure the alternative is a lot worse: doing it with somebody
who doesn't look like him. Seeing Bolo Yeung again as the villain is tiresome. I suppose it's the only way he could find steady
acting work.
All in all, too much Jean-Claude Van Damme isn't the problem in Double Impact, but the constant mundane action is.
Double Indemnity (1944)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
7/05, 9/13
7/05:
Double Indemnity is not a great film as I'm led to believe.
It seems like a hybrid of An American Tragedy, The Maltese Falcon, and Crime and Punishment.
Sunset Boulevard is a legendary film noir because of the dark nature and taut narration. But
Double Indemnity doesn't have all the qualities to make for a definitive thriller.
I question the casting of two lead stars: Fred MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck. Would Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman have
done better? However, Edward G. Robinson is a treat. In the beginning, the characters are somewhat loquacious,
and then midway, the story becomes predictable. Thus, the ending isn't a surprise. So to speak, it's a drag.
All in all, maybe my review of Double Indemnity is harsh, so I'll like to see it again later.
9/13:
My opinion is improved now after seeing Double Indemnity again.
It's a very good film noir with a great femme fatale in Barbara Stanwyck. Fred MacMurray does his part well.
Something I hadn't noticed enough the first time is how he delivered his lines with a straight face. There's a
playful repartee between him and her that seals the deal what Double Indemnity will be about.
So, all the credit goes to Billy Wilder and Raymond Chandler for penning a witty script. It's their writing that makes
the characters and the setting come alive.
Edward G. Robinson, as great as he had been in so many films, was sadly not Oscar-nominated. The Special Edition DVD has a
wonderful introduction by Robert Osborne, the host of TCM channel, to help the
viewers get in the right mood. I'll like to see him to do that for all movies from now on because he always makes it sound
so fascinating.
All in all, Double Indemnity sets the standard of how a film noir should be.
Double Indemnity (1973)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/13
9/13:
Richard Crenna sure mailed it in during the first fifteen minutes of the unnecessary remake of
Double Indemnity.
Remember in the original that there was a fun repartee between Fred MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck in regard to the speeding
limit? The replaced leads were about to embark on it, and then Richard's character gave up after one line, abruptly ending the
scene. Huh...some fucking effort.
Samantha Eggar is hideously ugly for a femme fatale, eliciting no favorable response from me. Only the interior design
of the apartment is worse. A couple of changes are made to the script which is 98% carbon copied from the original: the
doorknob turns to the right instead of left and it's July, not November.
All in all, the 1973 version of Double Indemnity is the biggest mistake of everybody's career; what the hell were they
thinking?
Double Jeopardy (1999)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/25
4/25:
The stupidity never ends in Double Jeopardy.
One of the female prisoners said, "Ever hear of 'double jeopardy'? Fifth Amendment to the Constitution? Huh? No?
Well, double jeopardy provides that...'No person may be tried for the same crime twice.' You got that? Keep
stirrin'. The state says you already killed your husband. They can't convict you of it a second time."
What a fucking idiot. After killing the husband for the second time, that means the state got it right after
all. Now, Libby Parsons will have to go back to prison and serve the rest of her life there. The end. Good
thinking. I've got a better idea: how about contacting the lawyer or one of the relatives and friends right away
to hire a private detective to track down the supposedly deceased husband by using the last known address? All
he has to do is show a picture of him to somebody in the vicinity and get confirmation. Once done, Libby is
free as a bird because you see...no murder has occurred in the first place!
But nooooooo.......she must go the hard way to commit a boatload of crimes, and thus, I'm in Ashley Judd movie
hell. When the confronted husband said, "Let me get it straight. She believes that I am her husband whom she
killed," I was like, "Uh......you've just confirmed it. That's it. The movie is officially over." So, what is
Travis Lehman waiting for? He should know what the husband is supposed to look like from the newspaper articles.
What an idiot for an ex-law professor. Curiously, if Libby's mother is alive, why not leave the kid with her? Also,
is it necessary to recreate the boutique scene from Pretty Woman?
Anyway, Double Jeopardy gets '4' from me only because of Tommy Lee Jones, who's understandably doing
The Fugitive all over again, and the nice shots of the French
Quarter and Lafayette Cemetery No. 1 (there's no such place as No. 3). But no thanks to Ashley Judd. She
should've contacted Sean Penn so they could do a movie together and cry to each other for hours and laugh at
everybody, "We're just acting!!!!!" I've always hated Jodie Foster, and she was slated to appear in the film
before dropping out. According to Wikipedia:
"Bruce Beresford met with her several times about the script. She said to me once, when we were having... not
an argument, we had different points of view over something, and she said, 'We'll have to do it my way, I'm
afraid.' And I said, 'Why, Jodie?' And she said, 'Because I'm so intelligent. I'm such an intelligent person
that there is no point in disagreeing with me because I'm always right.' I thought she was joking, but she
wasn't! [laughs] She had this extraordinary opinion of her own IQ."
All in all, Double Jeopardy is a perfect example of misinterpreting a term and going off the deep end.
Double Vision (1992)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/13
2/13:
There's nothing to see in Double Vision.
It's ninety minutes of going through the motions, and then, the ending has an unexpected twist to wrap things up.
The acting is weak, and of everybody, Naveen Andrews is the worst.
For this type of role which went to Kim Cattrall, it's certainly tailor-made for Juliette Binoche. Luckily, she did
Damage with Jeremy Irons which is infinitely better.
All in all, Double Vision has no pulse.
Dough and Dynamite (1914)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/07
7/07:
As soon as Dough and Dynamite played, my eyes began to sink into oblivion.
When the movie ended, I was in a trance and didn't have the faintest idea what it's all about. I suspected it's
been more of the same. Story? I have no idea. Comedy? There isn't any. All Charlie Chaplin's shorts are bad because
they're full of nonsense. And to waste thirty minutes of my time? Man, that's pure torture.
All in all, has anyone ever told Charlie Chaplin that he was a goddamn idiot?
Down Periscope (1996)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/25
3/25:
I thought Down Periscope was supposed to be a comedy?
It feels like a serious submarine picture. David S. Ward is usually a better director than that.
Anyway, the first half doesn't work, and I never laughed. Afterwards, things are better, but there are still
no laughs from me. Sometimes, I'm reminded of Crimson Tide because of the
conflict initiated by Rob Schneider's character. The best part is the music video at the end with the
Village People.
Kelsey Grammer is fine, but I'm disappointed because he's actually a funny guy as long as he's handed a witty
script just like Fraiser. The supporting cast is somewhat weak although it's nice that they got Bruce
Dern and Rip Torn to appear. Rob Schneider isn't bad while Lauren Holly's character is mostly treated with
respect given the numerous opportunities for sexual harassment.
All in all, Down Periscope lacks torpedoes for jokes.
Downhill Racer (1969)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
8/18
6/18:
It appears Downhill Racer had foretold the story of Bill Johnson.
If you aren't familiar with the name, he came out of nowhere to be the first American male to win the gold medal in alpine
skiing at the 1984 Olympic Winter Games in Sarajevo. This is a significant accomplishment because it's traditionally an
European sport. No American male had ever medaled prior to Bill Johnson, and since then, only three more have.
Of course, Downhill Racer isn't deep. Robert Redford plays a one-dimensional character with
daddy issues. He has a boring, superficial dating relationship with a pretty, tanned European who's played by Sweden's
Camilla Sparv. As his coach, Gene Hackman is nothing to write home about. And maybe that's how it is for the sport.
But the movie, possessing an European feel, has terrific skiing scenes which are one of a kind. Yet what hurts it is
they look too fast. If you watch Bill Johnson's gold medal run during the 1984 Olympics, the speed is rather
ordinary.
For years, I thought Roman Polanski directed a skiing movie, but it turns out that Michael Ritchie, making his directorial
debut, replaced him which is okay by me because Roman went on to direct
Rosemary's Baby. Robert Redford was going to
star in that one but backed out in order to appear in this, his personal pet project, and worked with the director again
in a prescient film about politics: The Candidate.
Interestingly, Sylvester Stallone can be spotted somewhere in the film as an extra. The timeline fits because he lived in
Switzerland for a couple of years while attending the American College in Leysin. I'm nearly sure he's right in the
middle behind Robert Redford and Camilla Sparv at the restaurant. Others say he's on the left, but it doesn't look like him.
All in all, although I don't care much for the sport, Downhill Racer is the closest thing I'll ever experience skiing.
Dr. Giggles (1992)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
3/12
3/12:
I remember seeing Dr. Giggles back then, and it wasn't a pleasant experience.
As a matter of fact, watching the unctuous-looking Larry Drake is never fun. The film is as moronic as it gets. Although the
incident happened during the 50's, identification of lost children has to be easy to make. The constant, lame, and
clichéd one-liners spouted by the charlatan wear off quickly, making it a tedious chore to sit through the film.
All in all, Dr. Giggles...uh, forget it.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/09
5/09:
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde can pass itself off as a silent movie, but it has sound.
The acting is outdated, and the pace is too slow to feel the effect of Fredric March's Oscar-winning performance which
isn't bad. I like the techniques employed, and they look ingenuous, considering the year the movie was made in. The
transformation of March's face is impressive. Because of his teeth, Mr. Hyde's look reminds me of Jerry Lewis.
There's excellent cinematography going on although the rest of the film isn't up to par. The philosophy
espoused by the famed character is interesting to listen to, provoking deep thoughts.
All in all, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a decent horror picture, but unfortunately, the slow pace kills it.
Dr. No (1962)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/11
1/11:
Although not the first Bond film in history (the distinction goes to Casino Royale with Barry Nelson in 1954),
Dr. No officially started off the James Bond franchise as it has been for the past five decades.
Now, I've seen plenty of these movies, but I must say James Bond is the most overrated character of all time. He's
not an interesting fellow but rather a sleazebag and manwhore who won't take no for an answer and is always given the easy
way out, no matter how dire the situation is.
On average, James Bond beds between three and five women a film, and he changes them frequently like underwear. Every
time he picks up a woman, he forces her to meet him at an appointed time or "else." Oh yes...each of them has to
qualify as "beautiful" to warrant attention. Otherwise, James Bond will keep on "spying." A case in point, Ursula Andress was
probably the number one model in the world in 1962 (today, to my surprise, she's ugly as sin), and James Bond naturally has
to be paired with her.
These films often has gaps in logic. So, explain this to me: how the heck is Honey
Ryder (of course, sexism is a constant theme throughout the franchise) on Crab Key without being accosted or apprehended by hordes of agog men? She
being a marine biology wiz isn't believable which is akin to Denise Richards passing herself off as a nuclear physicist
(with a Ph.D., for goodness' sake) in The World Is Not Enough.
I've mentioned before how easy it is for James Bond to survive impossible situations. It's still the biggest running joke
of the franchise which is the reason why spy spoofs exist. Notice in Dr. No, James is caught by guys in the Dragon tank.
So, why keep him alive? Okay, okay...Dr. No wants him on his team. But James refuses the offer. So, why bother
keeping him alive afterwards? Just kill him already.
Nooooo, James Bond has to be beaten up first before being thrown into the room with a *gasp* vent while sporting no facial
bruises because dammit...he must look good for the audience. Then, he manages to unloose screws, with nary a tool mind you,
before escaping through the vent. How the heck does he know where to go in the maze? He must be a fucking robot
with a GPS inside his head.
While there, he succeeds by going to the nerve center which has no security guards. How stupidly easy
it is for him to do it. James Bond must be the greatest spy of all time. His anticlimactic fight with Dr. No ensues
with a predictable end result. Anyway, enough of the negatives. Now, on to the positives:
The movie, especially the sets, is creatively done, and I love how the people dress and look. Sean Connery will always be James
Bond although I wonder how Cary Grant would've made out. It has the most famous scene of the entire franchise when
Sean Connery introduced himself as "Bond...James Bond." Hey, he gets to meet Jack Lord of Hawaii Five-O fame. How cool
is that? The classic opening title sequence, as it's been the case in almost every Bond picture going forward, is
unforgettable.
All in all, Dr. No is a good start for the most overrated movie franchise ever.
Dr. Strangelove (1964)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
2/08
2/08:
If there's an easy candidate for the most overrated picture ever, it's Dr. Strangelove.
I saw the film a long time ago and hated it. Trying again, I wasn't sure if I wasn't intelligent enough to "get" the
premise. Well, it's true: Dr. Strangelove is that overrated.
Advertised as a comedy, it's not. I don't feel like I've missed the point. Every attempt at humor falls flat.
There are some thespians I truly detest, and Peter Sellers is one of them.
All in all, forget Dr. Strangelove; it's strictly for pseudo-intellectuals.
Dr. T & the Women (2000)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
9/04, 11/23
11/23:
I don't like Dr. T & the Women, but I admit it has the hallmarks of a Robert Altman picture.
It's an exhausting Nashville version of Dallas except that the stereotype isn't true nowadays and that a TV show
had already been made. Uh...the Ewings, anyone? By the way, who wears these stupid-looking clothes with accessories? You
might ask, why hasn't a black person been sighted? It's because Dallas is among the most racist cities in the United
States.
For most of the time, I couldn't tell if the film was meant to be a satire on purpose given the display of
brain-dead, vacuous characters. On the other hand, the ten-minute ending is stupid and therefore unnecessary; why do
I have to see a baby literally delivered straight out of the vagina? There's no logic to that. Anyway, the whole thing was done
for real which is a first for a major Hollywood film.
Of the ensemble cast, nobody stands out which is a shame because Robert Altman usually got the
best from many. The worst and most obnoxious will have to go to Shelley Long in a role that was meant for Goldie
Hawn. Cut her out, and maybe the movie will be more tolerable. Then again, there are idiots such as Kate
Hudson, Liv Tyler, Tara Reid, and so on.
In a way, Dr. T & the Women seems to be marketed as a Richard Gere film but, honestly, is not. It's
a revival of Nashville except the formula didn't work this time. As for
the actor, he's okay but not the issue
although his character's brazen cheating behavior is idiotic given the fact that his wife is being treated in Tyler
which is a hundred of miles(!) away from Dallas. The biggest issue I have with him is how he conducts his job as a
gynecologist which looks very unethical.
All in all, Dr. T & the Women is all over the place, but it's an Altman movie nevertheless.
Dracula (1931)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
Dracula is boring, having put me to sleep.
Not a true adaptation of the original novel penned by Bram Stoker, the film seems like it was directed by
Ed Wood, Jr. I have to say that Francis Ford Coppola's version is the best of them all.
Béla Lugosi doesn't have the thespic ability to wow me. One reviewer wrote, "I was so disappointed when the movie
ended...I was like, 'Is that all?' because it ends." Yep, that's it.
All in all, what a joke Dracula is.
Dracula (1979)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/16
10/16:
What's with Frank Langella's twitching eyes?
Despite being born with the condition, Frank Langella is a poor choice for the leading role in the 1979 version
of Dracula.
He might have done well if he played it many years later. Therefore, it should've gone to somebody else who can
maintain the intensity in his eyes. Sadly, Frank Langella is boring, and his makeup and hair look ridiculous.
However, it's not his fault that the movie didn't work out. It's as lifeless as it can be. None of the actors is interesting
enough to keep me awake. The cinematography is the only good thing going as the lack of color doesn't
bother me and looks perfect. In the meantime, Laurence Olivier is on his deathbed. Donald Pleasence is going through the
motions. And everybody else is like "who cares?"
The writers have decided to apply lots of weird changes to the original story; hence, it's hard for me to be used to them.
It takes place twenty years later, and there are cars, not horses. Instead of Mina, Lucy is married to Jonathan Harker
which means Dr. Seward is her father while Mina is Van Helsing's daughter.
All in all, the 1979 version of Dracula is a certified snoozefest.
Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/09
3/09:
While watching Dracula A.D. 1972, I noticed the improvement over three previous Hammer Horror films:
Horror of Dracula,
Dracula Has Risen from the Grave,
and Taste the Blood of Dracula.
One thing is for sure: the pace is faster. The material is fresh but is still
redundant. Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing are more refined in playing the traditional characters by
courtesy of one tried-and-true adage: practice makes perfect.
At the same time, Alan Gibson does a decent job of incorporating style, letting the characters come alive while telling a
vibrant mystery story. All of the elements put together make Dracula A.D. 1972 a satisfying Hammer Horror experience.
The problem? Well, it's like seeing a Dracula film for the 500th time. The story begins and ends the same way. So, what's new?
Also, it's tiring to see Christopher Neame trying to be the next Malcolm McDowell.
All in all, despite the positives, Dracula A.D. 1972 is more of the same.
Dracula Has Risen from the Grave (1968)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/09
3/09:
Although it's an improvement over
Horror of Dracula, Dracula Has Risen from the Grave is still boring.
I like the story because it's new and different. Also, it retains the classic colorful cinematography that has been a
trademark of Hammer Horror pictures, especially the blood...the redder, the better.
The acting is fair, and the women, as hot as they can be, never reveal their bodies after so much of teasing.
Do I feel tired of Christopher Lee playing Dracula? I'm not sure; he's stoic and one-dimensional. The biggest problem
is the slow pace which has me falling asleep. Moreover, the changes in Dracula rules are becoming ludicrous and
annoying. Dracula never sees his own reflection. And it's ice in this kind of weather?
What bothers me is the neck biting. The two puncture holes are horizontally done, but
Christopher Lee did it in a vertical manner. If I think about it more, there should be four puncture holes instead of two. In
other scenes, the characters' neck wounds are not visible. When it's time to reveal them, they're unusually large.
All in all, Dracula Has Risen from the Grave needs more work.
Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
Dracula: Dead and Loving It is an inferior spoof of the vampire genre.
The trouble with Mel Brooks is he thinks his brand of humor is funny, but why have I been unable to laugh? At least,
there's one part that's funny which is when Dracula tried to control Mina but it got mixed up with another person.
All in all, when will Mel Brooks wake up and realize he isn't funny?
Draft Day (2014)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
11/14
11/14:
Draft Day is so horrible that I can't believe the Cleveland Browns gave the okay for their participation.
Kevin Costner's character is banging an exec (who happens to be carrying his child), facing the possibility of an abortion,
destroying stuff to make a statement, belittling his temp secretary, meeting with his whore in the closet to have their
powwows, and racking his brains whether or not the future selection has friends.
What I hate is the decisions that are being made in a vacuum of one person. It's unrealistic. Decisions, decisions,
decisions...then he gotta pull the fucking trigger to win the day for Cleveland. Three first round picks for one player? And
then three second round picks for a first round pick? What? What? This must be fantasy football or something. The RGIII trade
may never happen again which had disastrous results for the Washington Redskins.
The way Kevin Costner's character makes his decisions and finds out information on the day of the draft is ridiculous. I guess
all picks after the first round are meaningless. By the way, who drafts a running back this high these days? Sheesh.
They've been useless when it comes to winning Super Bowls, and they almost always break down within five years.
Pop quiz: name the last time a rushing yard leader won a Super Bowl, and how often? I think it's been done by two players:
Emmitt Smith and Terrell Davis with a grand total of four wins. It's rare that a 1,000+ yard rusher is part of the Super Bowl
winning team, too.
The reality is: drafts are a crapshoot. It's not rocket science, but the probabilities can be measured in terms of whether
the pick will work out or not that's based on a system of various measurables. However, it's a fallacy that one player will
save the franchise. It never happens, and it's something that most fans and members of the media can't or refuse to recognize.
Being a Draft Day winner isn't the same as winning the Super Bowl. You have to be an idiot to think that way. Then again,
most football fans have low IQ.
But a bust can kill a franchise, setting it back for years. Just ask the Cleveland Browns and Detroit Lions. The most comical
part after the draft is over is nobody remembers who were selected and in what order, let alone where they were projected in
one million different mock drafts. Football is a team sport. Plus, injuries can change everything, especially in the
quarterback position. As a matter of fact, look at the past draft history of first round picks, and you'll notice many of
their careers didn't pan out as expected.
Meanwhile, it's been a long time since I've seen the thespians involved with Draft Day because I don't follow recent
movies anymore. Denis Leary's face is now full of Botox and plastic surgeries. Kevin Costner looks paunchy. Jennifer Garner
resembles a transvestite. Rosanna Arquette has been reduced to nothing. Taking the honors for the worst of them all, Ellen
Burstyn, who has a nice-looking white hair when in front of the camera, turns around to reveal the color of Cheetos for the
rest of her hair.
For a bit while there, I had a sneaking suspicion that it's Arian Foster, and yep, it is. Only the mole on his cheek gives him
away. If anything, I like the split screen technique where one person crosses over to the other side; it's cool to see.
All in all, Draft Day makes everybody, the NFL and fans alike, look bad.
Dragnet (1987)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/10
6/10:
Dragnet...it sounds like a winner for the stupidest title of a comedy film.
It's been more than two decades since I last saw the movie. The only thing I remember the most about it is Dan Aykroyd and
Tom Hanks doing the dance with goat leggings on in their superior's office (the captain is Harry Morgan of M*A*S*H).
It's hilarious, and there are other funny moments, too.
Tom Hanks is primarily responsible for making the film a comedy because without him, it'll have sunk to the
bottom of the ocean like a stone. However, the last thirty minutes has left me snoozing. The watch with TV that Tom Hanks
has on is amazing for the mid 80's which was for real.
All in all, Dragnet should've stuck with the funny parts while cutting out the violence.
Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story (1993)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/18
10/18:
It would've been nice if Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story was a true biopic instead of the myth that's blown out of
proportion.
Additionally, it's unfortunate that there are many inaccuracies. For starters, Linda Lee isn't that good-looking but is
rather plain. Raymond Chow is the man who discovered Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee's back injury as it happened in the film is fake;
he aggravated it by lifting weights.
Anyway, there's no doubt that Bruce Lee is the most famous Asian actor in Hollywood history. Kung Fu or not, he was the first
to break through the wall, paving the way for other Asian thespians to gain some headway into motion pictures. He
was also the first to make martial arts popular.
Meanwhile, it's interesting to see Nancy Kwan, a forgotten Hong Kongese actress, in the film because she was among the
first Asians in Hollywood by appearing in The World of Suzie Wong thirteen years before Enter the Dragon
hit the theatres. She also knew the real Bruce Lee, having been trained by him for the 1969 picture
The Wrecking Crew.
A constant theme of Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story is racism against Asians. The most powerful moment is Bruce Lee's
reaction to Mickey Rooney acting like a bucktoothed, myopic Japanese caricature in
Breakfast at Tiffany's. That
film will never escape the disreputation of perpetuating the Asian stereotype.
Jason Scott Lee (no relation) isn't bad as Bruce Lee, and he has a good, magnetic personality. Prior to the filming,
Jason had no martial arts training which is impressive. Unfortunately, he exaggerates Bruce Lee's mannerisms during the
making of Enter the Dragon, and Bruce wasn't big on fancy moves, either.
By the way, Brandon Lee was offered the leading role but turned it down. When asked why, he explained: "I was
a little scared by the whole thing, really. It's strange to play your own father, you know? I couldn't really wrap my mind
around it." Fair enough.
All in all, Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story is more fake than real.
DragonHeart (1996)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/18
7/18:
DragonHeart is a fantasy movie that's meant for children.
Unfortunately, it's too middling for me to get into the action. Dennis Quaid is perfect and plays a great character. If it
wasn't for him, the movie would've never taken off. The other star is Draco whose voice is supplied by Sean
Connery. The dragon looks pretty good for 1996, but how it blends in with the environs is disappointing. An example of
what I mean is the weak to no impact of Draco's force against the landscape or water surface.
The rest of the cast, which is made up of a bunch of nobodies, ranges from okay to fair. David Thewlis reminds me of Timothy
Dalton from Mary, Queen of Scots. Julie Christie looks aged and is now plain.
Of course, DragonHeart wouldn't have been made possible until the CGI technology was taken advantage of for
Jurassic Park. That's why Draco looks too familiar, invoking memories of the dinosaurs. The main trouble is the
middle. Good films tend to have a smattering of interesting incidents for filler but here. It just
goes in circles, leaving me exasperated when I wanted the story to move along. That's what happens when a studio
decides to hire a weak screenwriter by the name of Charles Edward Pogue.
All in all, DragonHeart is a decent fantasy movie for little kids or man-children who want to have a
relationship with dragons.
Dream a Little Dream (1989)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/11
10/11:
Dream a Little Dream is a quirky picture but is nothing special.
However, it's a breeze to watch because of Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, their third film together after
License to Drive and
The Lost Boys. In a way, Dream a Little Dream feels like an homage to the famous
child molester Michael Jackson. See the movie poster for what I mean.
For some reason, a theme from 1987 to 1989 was body swapping. Vice Versa,
Big, Like Father Like Son, 18 Again!, and Dream a Little Dream were such films released. When I think about it, Jason
Robards' character is transported into Corey Feldman's body, yet it's Corey still acting like Corey. What a big fail in acting.
All in all, Dream a Little Dream is harmless.
Dream a Little Dream 2 (1995)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
12/11
12/11:
Not as horrible as predicted, Dream a Little Dream 2 is an unnecessary sequel made six years afterwards,
showing little relevance to the original.
However, it has a nice pace. Unfortunately, Corey Feldman is shown too much. Is he
trying to resurrect his failed career? Hey, Corey...here's a free piece of advice: drop the Michael Jackson crap. Look at the
movie poster for what I mean.
As for the other Corey, it's apparent that he was on drugs throughout the film. Anyone can see it in his eyes. It
might be a good idea to request a list of the names and quantities of drugs he consumed.
All in all, everybody had been dreaming too much during the making of Dream a Little Dream 2.
Dream Lover (1993)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
11/08
11/08:
Um, I have a better idea as to what the husband's course of action should be: how about hiring a private detective to gather
evidence on his wife's infidelities to make the divorce case easy-peasy?
But noooo...we have to go the hard way in Dream Lover. As always, I'm a sucker for James Spader's films. I wish
he would pick better material to work with although I'm sure he found this one alluring.
The first fifteen minutes starts off badly, and then it gets better, thanks to the wonderful chemistry between James
Spader and Mädchen Amick. I was hoping the rest of the film would give
9½ Weeks a run for its money.
Unfortunately, it comes apart at the seams due to how one-dimensional Mädchen Amick's character is.
The way the plot unfolds goes too far for what's supposed to be an intelligent mystery. At least, the final twist is surprising
and unpredictable.
All in all, I don't mind watching Dream Lover again solely for James Spader, but the filmmakers should learn to
limit the opening credits to no more than one minute.
The Dream Team (1989)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/25
6/25:
Fans of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest might want to
check out The Dream Team.
Seemingly a remake from the get-go, it goes in a different direction with a doctor taking four mental patients
from Trenton, New Jersey, to a baseball game in New York City, but trouble begins when the doctor is sent to
the hospital, leaving the rest to fend for themselves. That's when the movie takes off.
Michael Keaton is a natural leader and shows why he was a strong actor back then. Of the aforementioned film,
Christopher Lloyd returns and has the most experience of playing a mental patient. They say he's a paranoid
schizophrenic. No way; what he got is extreme OCD. Either way, he sure fooled me as a doctor at the beginning.
As a result, both of them turn in the best performances. Peter Boyle and Stephen Furst round out the rest.
Although the writing is weak and there aren't many laugh-out moments, The Dream Team should be viewed
as a situational comedy picture. That's when Michael Keaton and Christopher Lloyd shine the most. By the way,
the former correctly predicted a movie when he said, "We're directly under the Hudson River now. Yeah.
You guys see those tiles up there, all those individual tiles? Hey, Doc, isn't it true that if even one of
those tiles were to come loose, millions and millions of gallons of water would come pouring down on us
and squash us like tiny little bugs?", and that became the basis of Daylight.
All in all, good story plus Michael Keaton and Christopher Lloyd equal a winning comedy in
The Dream Team.
The Dreamers (2003)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/06
5/06:
The Dreamers is murky, chaotic, and lost in meaning yet has more coherence than
Last Tango in Paris.
The problem is the way the film fell apart right after the revelation of the paradoxical premise. I wanted
to see where it would lead to, but a cul-de-sac was what I got.
The acting ranges from good to fair and from bad to overdone. Sexually, the three young adults are less restrained when it
comes to showing off their bodies than Marlon Brando would ever attempt to.
All in all, for a Bernardo Bertolucci picture, I expected more in The Dreamers, but it fell flat.
Dreamgirls (2006)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/17
2/17:
Long music video does not make a motion picture, and that's what happened for Dreamgirls.
Oh, it's so damn bad that I can't believe that this one ran for 130 minutes. I've seen many such films featuring
success-in-music-business stories, and I can name at least twenty of them that are heads and shoulders above
Dreamgirls.
Putting up with the dreadful editing, my patience wore thin not long after starting the film, and I couldn't believe how
many musical segments I had to sit through with hardly much of dialogue between them. They're all terrible! Not only that but
some of the characters, out of the blue, also sung the words instead of speaking. I was like, "What the...?"
The setting is supposed to take place during the 60's and 70's, but the appearance and the songs are anachronistic. In fact,
everything looks and sounds 21st century. Way to go, everybody. The lyrics are horrible. They're so superficial that any
fifth grader can compose the same crap. The songs of the 60's and 70's were deep and symbolic. Try The Supremes or any other
noteworthy black groups of the time and then listen to any song in Dreamgirls. There's no comparison.
I know when a movie stinks if I'm unable to remember the characters' name or their faces, and that's the case
with Dreamgirls. The only ones I know are those played by Jamie Foxx, Eddie Murphy, and Jennifer Hudson. However,
nobody makes an impression. Then, I started to beg, "Just end the music already, for fuck's sake."
Of the cast, everybody is terrible. Jennifer Hudson doesn't deserve the Oscar win because it's supposed to be for
acting, not singing! Eddie Murphy is nothing special. Nix his Oscar nomination, too. Beyoncé Knowles is beyond forgettable.
She can't act to save her life and is as cardboard as they come. Is the movie intended to be a vanity project for her?
The toupee on Jamie Foxx's head looks ridiculous. Did he get that from Goodwill?
There are plenty of similarities between the characters and real people. Jennifer Hudson's Effie, who's
supposed to die in the film, is based on Florence Ballard, a founding member of The Supremes. Jamie Foxx's Curtis
is based on Berry Gordy who created the Motown record label. Minus the huge hair, Beyoncé Knowles' Deena is based on
Diana Ross. It's hard to tell who Eddie Murphy's Jimmy Early is supposed to be based on, and it can be either
Chuck Berry, Jackie Wilson, James Brown, Marvin Gaye, or Lionel Richie. In short, his character is all over the place. The
sight of the Jackson 5 wannabe is gross.
When Deena (think of her as Diana Ross) was talking about doing a movie project with John Lithgow's character, it's probably
The Bodyguard with Steve McQueen who was later replaced by Ryan O'Neal. The project fell through during the late 70's
and didn't get made until 1992 when Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner got on board.
All in all, take a pass on Dreamgirls which is nothing but a catalog of fake Motown songs.
Dressed to Kill (1980)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
8/12
8/12:
Although Body Double was made afterwards, Dressed to Kill feels like it picked up where the other one left off
and almost ended the same way: right in the shower.
Many Brian De Palma's films have been stylish and assiduous. Dressed to Kill is no
exception and is as neo-noirish as it gets. However, it has two flaws.
The first, notice the office door is windowless. Now, if that's the case, why does the boy have to go so far to use an
elaborate listening device to find out what the detective and the psychiatrist are saying in the room? Their conversation
can be practically heard with a naked ear.
The second, why is the hooker concerned about being implicated in the murder? No blood had been found on her body, regardless
the fact she was holding a razor blade in her hand.
Angie Dickinson is shown fully naked; however, it's not her body which was doubled by a Playboy model.
So, if she refused to do it, why bother casting her in the first place? Angie Dickinson shamelessly boasted
in interviews that it's her body they're looking at.
Keith Gordon is more tolerable this time around than he was in Christine. Michael Caine is boring. Nancy Allen should've
gotten accolades for her performance. There are two, perhaps three, scenes that pay homage to a couple of Hitchcock films:
Vertigo and
Psycho. Annoyingly, there are four false endings, dragging the time longer than necessary.
All in all, Dressed to Kill is an enjoyable murder mystery although figuring out the killer's identity is easy.
The Driver (1978)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/14
3/14:
When I'm about to begin a Walter Hill picture, I always shudder.
It's just that he has the mind of a five-year-old boy and lives in a delusional fantasy world. His movies are
puerile, have many logic issues, and lack intelligence. The Driver has met my expectations profusely.
Although there are nice car chase scenes, it's not possible for them to occur in real life because I'm sure they used
choppers back then in Los Angeles to track such incidents. However, I can't find any history on this.
The idea of Bruce Dern as a renegade cop in pursuit of the cowboy is simply grounds for termination. It never happens.
There's always teamwork involved which usually entails many people in law enforcement. That's why I can't believe the scant
number of police cars used to apprehend the elusive driver. However, Ryan O'Neal is perfect for the role because he doesn't
have to speak or emote much, the two typical traits that have made him an all-around bad actor.
I've seen films with bad endings, and The Driver ranks right up there with them. I understand the
intended metaphor of the cop left holding the bag like a loser. But to think about it, he already had enough to make
the arrest because once the cowboy opened the locker, he just implicated himself in the plot which is an admission of guilt.
Also, because of the chase, shouldn't cops be used as witnesses because they saw the cowboy driving?
All in all, The Driver is a typical brainless Walter Hill picture.
Driving Miss Daisy (1989)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/08
3/08:
Although I like several aspects of Driving Miss Daisy, it doesn't win me over completely.
The first half leaves a sour taste in my mouth, but things are better afterwards. The cinematography is nice,
soft, and gentle which helps. Then, there's the wonderful relationship between Dan Aykroyd and Morgan Freeman.
Both give outstanding performances, saving the film from sinking further. Another I like is how age is shown
on the three lead characters. Hence, the makeup job is commendable.
Dan Aykroyd is a funny guy, but he's more suitable in dramas. He also can act as well with the best of them. 1989 was
particularly a strong year for Morgan Freeman, and the films he did were Driving Miss Daisy,
Glory, Lean on Me, and
Johnny Handsome which are enough to last one's reputation for life.
Now, on to the negatives: despite the racial undertones not bothering me, it's annoying to see Jessica Tandy's
character as the southern belle. If it was Vivien Leigh instead, I might reconsider my opinion which explains why she got
the part for A Streetcar Named Desire. There isn't much of substance in the dialogue, but the emotions, especially
when the development of friendship is laid bare, are paid off in dividends.
All in all, Driving Miss Daisy isn't overrated, but it lacks depth and subtlety and can be racist in some ways.
Drop Dead Fred (1991)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
2/06
2/06:
Drop Dead Fred is an unusual, annoying, and unfunny movie that's in the same vein of Problem Child.
Phoebe Cates does a great job of maintaining her composure the entire time. Yes, Rik Mayall deserves to be dropped dead for the
sake of good riddance. (6/9/14 Author Note: He just did.) Rik makes me want to hate—no, the better word
is loathe—his character so much.
The situation in regard to the mother-daughter relationship and having an imaginary friend around are creative. If I had seen
the film with the perspective of a child, Drop Dead Fred might have been sensible.
All in all, Drop Dead Fred makes for an insufferable viewing.
Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
12/02, 4/04, 6/24
6/24:
Drop Dead Gorgeous is an impressive mockumentary picture about local girls entering a beauty pageant in the hopes of
making to the nationals.
I'm surprised at the strong cast that the filmmakers had managed to collect in one place: Kirstie Alley, Ellen Barkin, Kirsten
Dunst, Denise Richards, Brittany Murphy, Allison Janney, Mindy Sterling
(from the Austin Powers movies), and Amy Adams. It's what keeps
the show going on top of the excellent script. Some of the incidents are funny although in an overboard way. Allison Janney and Matt Malloy
are the standouts.
Beauty pageants have been a joke for a long, long time. It used to be a thing back then with Miss America being the most prominent
of them all. Thankfully, they stopped airing the silly show on either ABC or NBC. Why anyone would be interested in that crap,
I could never understand. However, they used to be an easy avenue for some women to get noticed before going on to be famous
actresses and whatever else.
By the way, the girl who used sign language, I can confirm over 95% of it is either technically or flat-out wrong. Her
fingerspelling is for shit, too. Actually, she knows the letters, but they aren't correct given the letters of the words
in a 1-to-1 correspondence. Ditto for holding her arm in the air when she's supposed to do it in front of her body. It's a
common mistake among beginners as they tend to be overeager, but she can master the language as long as she's around deaf people
who will end up correcting her.
All in all, there aren't many good mockumentaries out there, but Drop Dead Gorgeous ranks one of the best made.
Drug Wars: The Camarena Story (1990)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
Drug Wars: The Camarena Story is an exceptional Michael Mann movie.
The acting, especially from Craig T. Nelson and Benicio del Toro, is delicious. I like the story which comes off as educational.
A lot of films tend to document the rise and fall of drug lords or addicts, but this one isn't about that. It's rather how
a federal agent, to the best of his abilities, tries to win the impossible war against drugs.
All in all, Drug Wars: The Camarena Story is a solid film.
Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/05, 9/13
10/05:
One of the most freakishly talented actors to come out of the 80's, Matt Dillon is why Drugstore Cowboy works.
The visionary camera technique and the quirky narrative are blended together for the surreal look without being too
hazy or nebulous. It has a distinctive, albeit experimental, style that only belongs to Gus Van Sant which will be improved
on more in My Own Private Idaho.
The simplicity of the moral story lies in Matt Dillon's acting. That is, his face may appear unconvincing, but he finds a way
to make his character appealing. Heather Graham makes her screen debut, and William Burroughs has a masterful performance.
All in all, Drugstore Cowboy is a superb Matt Dillon picture.
9/13:
Matt Dillon's performance is the best thing going in Drugstore Cowboy.
Unfortunately, it's not a great movie as the story feels simple. One nice thing is that it doesn't glamorize
drugs. There's a soothing ebb and flow when it comes to the habits of drug junkies.
All in all, Drugstore Cowboy is Matt Dillon's show.
Drums Along the Mohawk (1939)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
11/24
11/24:
Drums Along the Mohawk is a boring American Revolutionary War picture that's set in the wild frontier of
upstate New York (it wasn't shot there on location but rather in Utah).
It's hard to believe this turkey was directed by John Ford. I thought he was better than that. Many times, I've been
reminded of The Last of the Mohicans. There are certain similarities
like Daniel Day-Lewis bearing a striking resemblance to Henry Fonda, the mercy killing of a man who's about to be burned
alive, and Indians fighting the militia. I wonder if Michael Mann saw it to prepare for his aforementioned film.
The trouble with Drums Along the Mohawk is there's hardly any action. In between is a lot of boring talk and going
through stuff with idiotic characters. Tough to swallow is the sight of Henry Fonda outrunning three Indians for hours and
hours. I just don't think so. At one point, he tells a tale of brutal fighting, but I'm not shown the actuality of it.
Gee...thanks, Mr. Ford, for being lazy.
Worst of all, I have to put up with Edna May Oliver's shrill behavior. It's ridiculous that she was Oscar-nominated for
Best Supporting Actress. Claudette Colbert looks too damn pretty all the time, even after delivering a baby. She must have
had a team of makeup people and hairdressers around her, a preposterous idea for such time.
All in all, The Last of the Mohicans renders Drums Along the Mohawk
obsolete although Revolution has done a better job, too.
A Dry White Season (1989)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/08, 5/19
1/08:
A Dry White Season is everything Hotel Rwanda is not.
Understandably, it's a sad story that's of bravery, courage, and justice. The acting is uniformly excellent. I
didn't know this before, but after looking up information on the internet about Euzhan Palcy, the director of
the film, it turns out she's a black woman from Martinique, French West Indies. Not only that, but she's also
the first black female to direct a major Hollywood picture. It's a remarkable achievement.
Donald Sutherland, once again, pulls off a special performance that's reminiscent of
Ordinary People. He's largely the reason why the film works althought
the story per se is compelling. Jürgen Prochnow, who's well known for
Das Boot, gives a great villainous performance, and it's easy to hate his
character. Playing a lawyer for a short time, Marlon Brando steals the show. As a reward, he was given an
Oscar nomination, the eighth and final of his career.
All in all, A Dry White Season is a must-watch drama.
5/19:
A Dry White Season is a sad movie about apartheid in South Africa which now has been abolished.
Euzhan Palcy, a black female director, is brave enough to put the truth on screen for everybody to see, and it's
difficult not to be moved. There are many strong performances by the ensemble cast who play a mix of heroes and
villains. The standouts are Donald Sutherland, Zakes Mokae, Jürgen Prochnow, and Marlon Brando who scored the
film's sole Oscar nomination after coming back from a self-imposed retirement of nine years.
All in all, telling the truth often makes for great films, and A Dry White Season is one of them.
Du rififi chez les hommes (1955)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/14
2/14:
There are some longueurs in Du rififi chez les hommes, aka Rififi, that make it an overall tedious picture.
Sure, it's methodical in a fascinating manner. Yet the entire thing reminds me too much of
The Asphalt Jungle, a more
entertaining predecessor by five years. Also, because the bank robbers are criminals, it's hard to root for them.
There are many quintessential elements that makes Rififi a worthy noir picture. What puts it down is
the boring search for the kidnapped son. So, the most logicial decision is to forget about him, move on, and
have another child while swimming in millions.
All in all, Du rififi chez les hommes is a nice caper film at the hands of Jules Dassin.
Duck Soup (1933)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
5/05
5/05:
Oh, my goodness...Duck Soup is such a fucking stupid movie.
It's no wonder why pseudo-intellectuals, who haven't the foggiest idea what humor is, love this one. To my no surprise,
Duck Soup was a box-office failure in 1933, almost bankrupting Paramount, because the moviegoing public knew
better to avoid it.
All in all, Duck Soup sucks.
Duck, You Sucker (1971)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
10/14
10/14:
I hate Sergio Leone's pictures with passion.
They represent the worst of cinema. Oh, how he abuses every filmmaking technique there is. Duck, You Sucker, aka
A Fistful of Dynamite, Once Upon a Time ... the Revolution, or whatever the fuck the title is supposed to be,
never deviates from his formula: long dragged-out scenes, interminable stares, irrelevant scenes, millions of facial close-ups,
dated explosions, anachronisms in apparel and weaponry, a plot that keeps going nowhere, senseless violence, pointless moments,
childish dialogue, and primitive human behavior.
Nobody ever acts like the idiots in his films. Rod Steiger's performance is modeled after a
testosterone-filled baboon, and James Coburn has a fetish for flashing his teeth. Having been exasperated already, I couldn't watch
Duck, You Sucker for more than fifteen minutes at a time. This plodder took me five days to complete.
All in all, Duck, You Sucker is a prime candidate for research to find out if watching Sergio Leone's movies can cause
Alzheimer's disease.
Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
Dude, Where's My Car? is
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure meets
Memento.
Bill and Ted, meet Jesse and Chester. Jesse and Chester, meet Bill and Ted. Bill and Ted, meet Jesse and
Chester. Jesse and Chester, meet Bill and Ted. Bill and Ted, meet Jesse and Chester. Jesse and Chester,
meet Bill and Ted. And...at this point, you can bet on them not remembering each other's name.
Ashton Kutcher almost turned down the chance to do the film because he found the script stupid but changed
his mind when he got to the tattoo scene with the words "sweet!" and "dude!" I wondered how many times the
object "continuum transfunctioner" was uttered, and it turned out to be 46 despite not knowing what the
hell it was for the longest time.
I'm all for dumb comedies, but most haven't been good in the past. This one is rises above them because it's
ingenious. Philip Stark gets all the credit for penning an outstanding screenplay. I hoped the characters would
keep asking, "Dude, where's my car?" over and over. It's a catchy line, and that will have been hilarious.
Believe it or not, the question did first appear in The Big Lebowski. The
group of mostly young men in bubble-wrap suits is obviously a reference to the Heaven's Gate cult.
Getting Seann William Scott to pair up with Ashton Kutcher is a smart move because he's a funny guy. I can't
believe they kissed each other just to show off Fabio and his girlfriend in the car. If the filmmakers decided
to make a sequel back then, I would've gone for it, but they didn't. Too bad.
All in all, there's one thing for sure: Dude, Where's My Car? will never be accused of being either
formulaic or unoriginal.
Duel (1971)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/05
11/05:
Duel features a wimpy Burt Reynolds look-alike in a weak nonthriller that moves slowly at 50 to 65 mph.
Awkwardly, Steven Spielberg uses all kinds of tricks in his bag for the battle between a car and a Mack truck. It's ultimately
disappointing for not showing the face of the truck driver who's behind all of this.
The 90 minutes' worth of chase is boring to follow. Why not the protagonist drive down one road and then hide until the
truck passes him before going the other way?
All in all, at the hands of Steven Spielberg, Duel is a crapfest; nonetheless, it's the begining of the
greatest career a director can possibly have.
Duel in the Sun (1946)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
1/22
1/22:
Trash, stupid, long, juvenile, boring, overblown, nonsensical, excessive, and plain silly, Duel in the Sun is nothing
like the movie poster.
The word "half-breed" was thrown around so much that I had to look up the meaning of it. Webster's Dictionary said: "Offensive:
the offspring of parents of different races, especially the offspring of an American Indian and a white person." So...which
one is the offensive half? I'm only asking this because the American Indians first settled in North America and remained there
for hundreds of years before the white people came over and stole their land.
Gregory Peck hated his performance in Moby Dick when I thought he did a good job. He should've
reserved the same judgment for Duel in the Sun. The only thing on his character's mind is rape. What
Lewt wants, he takes...it's like watching a 5-year-old child. Lee Marvin and Jack Palance are the better choices. Marlon
Brando won't be out of the question in order to make the sex appeal believable. To be fair, they hadn't yet
come to existence as actors. At least, Gregory Peck can ride a horse.
Jennifer Jones. Well, well, well...where to begin? Let's get one positive thing out of the way first: she's gorgeous, no matter
what. Sexy yes, but not in a good way. Jennifer Jones did it much better in
Ruby Gentry. Both are exactly the same kind
of film, but the latter was much shorter by an hour and had a plot.
On to the negatives, and there are plenty of them. They sure spray-tanned Jennifer Jones' face three layers too many. Her
behavior is so ridiculous that it can only be found in silent pictures. There's a lot of back-and-forth between "I love you"
and "no, I don't love you." Pearl is so goddamn stupid that she gives half-breeds a bad name. At one point, she was going
marry Sam Pierce who looked 70 years too old for her. Lewt won't be excused for his vacillation, either.
Much of the fault lies with David O. Selznick, the ultimate puppet master. He was trying to top the success of
Gone with the Wind which would never happen. Then, he was trying to make Jennifer Jones the greatest leading lady of all
time when she had no acting chops to begin with. The ending is laughable although Jennifer Jones' physical pain wasn't faked.
The truth is that Selznick had the most rubbish script imaginable that's replete with a heavy-handed opening narration from
Orson Welles. I didn't know what the plot was for the longest time and still don't. The production was plagued with
many problems, thanks to the speed-addled Selznick's meddlesome interferences that kept delaying the film release while
tripling the budget because he wanted to change a minor line here and there or reshoot a scene completely.
Back to the Gone with the Wind reference, there are lots of similarities which are all poorly done in
Duel in the Sun. Substituting Spanish Bit for Tara, the cinematography is ugly although there are several good-looking
shots. I'm aware that Butterfly McQueen is black, but for her to be typecast and continue to carry on the same idiotic
thinking is to set her race back by a hundred of years. To her credit, Butterfly retired afterwards because she got
tired of playing stupid characters.
Pearl is Scarlett O'Hara, Lewt is Rhett Butler, and Jesse is Ashley Wilkes. They're badly sketched, character-wise, with
unclear goals. At the end, Jesse is shot and disappears for good like he has done throughout the picture. Well, what's so damned
important about him? Another problem is Joseph Cotten who's an all-time weak, ordinary actor who might be a closeted
homosexual for all I know. He always provides nothing...absolutely nothing whatsoever!
What else? I didn't realize that Laura Belle was Jackson McCanles' wife when I thought the whole time they were brother and
sister or something to that effect. Regardless, they're poorly played by Lillian Gish and Lionel Barrymore who's
cantankerous beyond belief. She climbing out of the bed to reach for Jackson before dropping dead while he's rambling on is
pure comedy.
All in all, Duel in the Sun is a famous bad film for a litany of reasons.
The Duellists (1977)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/17
7/17:
The Duellists is dull as dull can be.
It's Ridley Scott's first major feature film, and he obviously has a lot of promise. He just needs to work more on
character development to make the movie interesting enough.
Harvey Keitel suffers from having few lines while Keith Carradine has plenty to let his character flesh out. To their
credit, they both insisted on using real saber swords for the sake of authenticity.
Although the cinematography is nice which was shot on location in England, France, and Scotland, the pace is slow because
there isn't much of a story. It's about a stupid soldier who can't get past the notion of honor, whatever the hell that
word means.
All in all, The Duellists is pointless for the most part, but it's a nice start for Ridley Scott.
The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/08
11/08:
I grew up watching the TV show The Dukes of Hazzard, but sadly, I don't remember any of it except for the orange car
with the Confederate flag atop the roof.
The General Lee is probably the most famous car in the history of automobiles. The first fifteen minutes, the film
is funny, and I thought it would be like this the rest of the way. Somehow, the humor starts to break down due to
excessive driving. I admit some of the stunts are pretty good which may have worked back then, but time has passed.
Another aspect I don't like is the same old, tired racist and sexist stereotypes. Just because there are good-looking girls
at college doesn't mean they'll automatically allow strangers to walk in their dorms, get naked, and have sex just like that.
In the interim, there isn't much of a plot which feels like The Cannonball Run Part VII. I wouldn't be surprised if
Burt Reynolds stood up and said, "Hey, this feels like one of those movies I did."
All in all, The Dukes of Hazzard gets off to a good start but ends up embarrassing the state of Georgia.
Dumb and Dumber (1994)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/04, 5/25
5/25:
I hate anything by the Farrelly brothers.
They produce gross principal characters and situations and have people around them thinking of them as
normal. Enter Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne in Dumb and Dumber. Their IQ is supposed to be low, but
I know they are being stupid on purpose. Worse, they're creepy and sex deviants.
Not many moments have made me laugh, but it's not a boring movie overall, having a good flow. I didn't appreciate
the dead parakeet joke. Anyway, Jim Carrey fits the genre well. The chipped tooth of his is for real; he
originally had a fight with a classmate when he was young. It's been capped since then. The bill scam his
character pulled off was actually done by Jeff Daniels in
Something Wild.
Hard to believe is Jeff Daniels going ahead with the film when I know he's a much more serious actor than that. At
the time, his career was falling apart, and he needed something different. Prior to that, Nicolas Cage was
first approached for the role, and he asked for more money before being turned down. Not to worry, he went on
to do Leaving Las Vegas, resulting in an Oscar win.
All in all, Dumb and Dumber is an okay comedy picture.
Dying Young (1991)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/08
7/08:
To my no surprise, I hate Dying Young to smithereens, and it's among the corniest, stupidest, and worst films I've seen.
Yes, I was aware that Joel Schumacher was the director and that Julia Roberts was the main star.
On the surface, it looks like a well-made picture with a heart-warming story and lots of emotions. Yet I refuse to be
suckered into believing Campbell Scott's character because he comes across to me as a sick, perverted individual who
used Hilary to satisfy his emotional needs. At the end, he got what he wanted.
Boy, Julia Roberts...if her character was the one who's instead dying young, I would've said, "Good! Let her."
She's incapable of displaying anything that's human through her face. Only two possible acting techniques that she has
in her very tiny repertoire are a sarcastic look and a feigned concern. I wonder who thinks Julia Roberts is an
attractive-looking woman. Please, she's far from it.
All in all, the ever-corny Love Story came first, so why must there exist another film of the same vein?