E List of Movie Reviews

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Each Dawn I Die (1939)

Rate: 4
Viewed: 10/08

EachDawn
10/08: Each Dawn I Die is a lovely title for a movie, but unfortunately, it makes for a below-average viewing.

I actually have never seen George Raft act before, so this is a first for me. He's good: charming and dapperly dressed with Rudolph Valentino's looks. Back then, George Raft developed a bad boy reputation by fraternizing with well-known mobsters and turned down leading roles in films such as The Maltese Falcon, Double Indemnity, and Casablanca. Humphrey Bogart can thank him for that, but he's the better actor anyway.

Back to the film, the story is unique but unrealistic. At times, the pace drags. There are good moments rather than good scenes. The best part is how George Raft's character made his spontaneous escape from the courthouse room. Another is the nice, bittersweet ending when James Cagney looked at the picture of his co-star's character with an inserted line. As for James Cagney, he's...well James Cagney.

All in all, Each Dawn I Die is now rendered outdated by The Shawshank Redemption, but George Raft steals the show by making the best of it.




The Eagle Has Landed (1976)

Rate: 7
Viewed: 10/06, 8/12

Eagle
10/06: I asked for a war film, and I got it in The Eagle Has Landed.

It's an enjoyable and interesting picture which is the Nazi version of The Dirty Dozen except it didn't work. I'm glad to see Michael Caine, Donald Sutherland, and Robert Duvall all together in the same picture. They're the best in business.

The film can be slow, but it's deliberately built up until the final climax when Michael Caine's character gets his man (or at least that's what he thought). I still don't understand why the Nazis wear German uniforms underneath their Allied uniforms. If I were them, I wouldn't do that. Donald Sutherland steals the show, and it's a pleasure to watch him act.

All in all, The Eagle Has Landed is John Sturges' final picture and is worth watching.

8/12: Perhaps not as thrilling as The Great Escape, The Eagle Has Landed is a solid Nazi war thriller that's well-crafted by John Sturges.

I just wish the German characters would speak in their native tongue to give the film more authenticity. If you want to see what a jackass looks like, look no further than Colonel Pitts. The ending is pretty good. Uh, nice eye patch there, Robert Duvall. Michael Caine is stiff as usual. The best performance goes to Donald Sutherland as Liam Devlin.

All in all, no matter what the negatives are, The Eagle Has Landed is an entertaining movie.




Earth vs. the Spider (1958)

Rate: 2
Viewed: 10/08

EarthS
10/08: Bert I(Am Stupid). Gordon created another clunker during the 50's called Earth vs. the Spider for who-knows-what reasons.

There are more logic problems than I can count on my fingers. The biggest question of them all is: why not pour gasoline on the spider from a tall building and light it on fire? Surely, it'll be a great avoidance of the problems that occurred after the spider woke up from its coma. Even worse, I slipped into a coma of my own.

For a while, there's a nice black-and-white photography going on, but the more I see the cavern scenes, the more distracting the switchovers are. What's the need for the double reel inserts? The idiot girl has to go back to the cave to find the lost bracelet, so which is more important to her: that or her life? Speaking of bodies in the cave, a skeleton is lying on the ground, and nobody freaks out.

Spider webs make it super hard for insects to escape, but humans have no problem getting out of them. By the way, spiders aren't insects but arachnids. Arachnophobia, get it? Why is it every time I see a movie that when a person runs to the car, he has trouble trying to get inside, and when he finally does, the car won't start until the very last second?

The best scene is when the seemingly-too-old-for-high-school boys cajoled Hugo the janitor by letting them inside the auditorium. This raises another question: why did they bring the huge tarantula there? Why risk the danger? Where were the security guards?

Back to the proportion of the spider, it appears small inside the auditorium but huge when compared to the teacher's house. Basically, the spider can be enlarged and shrunken as it pleases. One hilariously stupid moment appears when the guy decided to skedaddle out of town by driving a car with the bed mattress atop the roof.

All in all, A Small Town of Stupid People vs. the Spider is more like it.




Earthquake (1974)

Rate: 3
Viewed: 9/15

Earthq
9/15: Of course, thanks to Universal's success of Airport, there has to be a disaster film about earthquakes,and this time, it's called *drum roll* Earthquake.

The most hilarious part is the screenplay was written by Mario Puzo, the author of The Godfather. There are three phases happening: the soap opera, the earthquake, and the aftermath.

Throughout, the acting is uniformly putrid (I'm looking at you, Ms. Bujold, and I rather have Ava Gardner over her any time of the day). I didn't know what Nigel Tufnel meant until I saw Victoria Principal's "afro" which looks like an Australian's nightmare.

There are hardly any cops or firemen at the scene of disaster. Principal characters come and go, leaving behind a bunch of unresolved conflicts. Also, there's a lot of focus on them, making sure they survive the ordeal while the rest is rendered unimportant and thus not worth bothering with.

One earthquake is good for me, but the film manages to have like twenty-five of them within two days. To depict the realism of the situation, the camera, instead of the landscape, shakes violently at times. On the other hand, the special effects are cheap and simple, and there are editing problems.

Looking at the timer and seeing much of the damage that the characters still have to wade through, I had become alarmed enough to say, "There isn't enough time left to deal with the rest of what's going on," only to be pacified by a terrifically lazy ending.

As for the color skin of the victims, however few there are, I spot an African American here and there but none who's either Asian or Latino. I guess, in the 70's, Los Angeles was mostly populated by white people. The film's ultimate message is: if you're a bad person, cheat on your spouse, or are a vindictive repressed homosexual with a fake blond wig, you'll die during the earthquake.

All in all, Earthquake is literally a disaster.




East of Eden (1955)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 2/09, 12/16

East
2/09: East of Eden features the first major starring role of James Dean's career, one of the three significant films before his tragic death at the young age of 24.

James Dean steals every scene. I'm disappointed with Elia Kazan for not making the film special enough. It appears the cast had a hard time holding its own due to being overwhelmed by James Dean. The emotions of the characters, apart from Dean's, are superficially weak and unconnected. I can't imagine why Jo Van Fleet got the Oscar for playing the mother.

What's unclear is the focal point. Is it about the father-son relationship? The mother-son relationship? The treatment of the Germans? The protest against World War I? The farming crisis à la The Grapes of Wrath? Abra's doomed relationship with Cal just like Susannah's ill-advised love for Tristan? Cal's fight with his brother? In short, the direction is all over the map. However, I love the cinematography of the California scenery around Monterey and Salinas although it was actually shot on location in Mendocino.

All in all, if the performances and the direction can be better, there's no doubt East of Eden is transformed into the classic that it should be, but James Dean's stirring performance alone makes this one worth watching.

12/16: My rating for East of Eden remains the same.

The thespians are theatrical while James Dean, in his first major role, is highly melodramatic (not that I mind). Because of their overacting, some of the scenes are silly to watch. Just calm down, everybody. Try to be natural for once, please.

Jo Van Fleet's Oscar win? Ha! Julie Harris was definitely too old for the part, and her acting needs a lot of work. Of the three films, East Eden is the only one that James Dean ever saw, and I think it's the best acting job of his career. Because of CinemaScope, James Dean was very handsome while the California scenery has never looked better.

All in all, James Dean, a great Method actor, is the only reason why I revisit East of Eden from time to time.




Eastern Promises (2007)

Rate: 8
Viewed: 6/08, 11/20

Eastern
6/08: Shot on location around London, Eastern Promises is an above-average picture at the hands of David Cronenberg with nice cinematography and an outstanding performance by Viggo Mortensen.

Making for a slow viewing, it picks up the pace in the final half-hour because of the unpredictable twist. The bloody, gritty violent tone is much appreciated, especially during the shower scene which is typical of David Cronenberg.

Vincent Cassel and Armin Mueller-Stahl are compelling to watch. Naomi Watts plays a caring character with plenty of sympathy; therefore, her acting is okay but nothing special.

Finally, the sole reason for watching Eastern Promises is Viggo Mortensen. I'm not going to say I was awed by Viggo's performance, but rather, I want to think back to his earlier films, spanning much of the 90's. At the beginning, Viggo was unremarkable who showed off too much flake. However, he got better over time, hitting the peak in G.I. Jane and, from that point forward, made a remarkable transformation. Therefore, Eastern Promises is the icing on the cake of his career.

All in all, Eastern Promises should be seen for Viggo Mortensen's masterpiece acting.

11/20: I have to love Eastern Promises for not falling victim to digitalization or poor acting which was beginning to be rampant during the time.

Viggo Mortensen grew so much as an actor in over two decades that, having done extensive research for his character, he earned his first Oscar nomination. The twist concerning him is the most surprising part. Vincent Cassel and Armin Mueller-Stahl deserve credit as well with Naomi Watts passing muster. Apart from the tattoos, the juciest is the slice of Russian organized crime which is shown little in cinema.

David Cronenberg is the best in business when it comes to extreme gore, and he does it again, replete with linoleum knives, during the shower scene in a Turkish bathhouse which ranks one of the hallmarks of his career. This level of brutality is what gives Eastern Promises respectability along with the Russian tattoos which are authentic-looking. For further exploration, the following books should be checked out: Russian Criminal Tattoo Encyclopaedia in three volumes (which served the basis of the characters' tattoos) and Russian Prison Tattoos: Codes of Authority, Domination, and Struggle.

If there's anything to be disappointed, it's the story that feels short. Hence, I would've liked to see a sequel with same characters in the next phase of Nikolai's undercover work. They were going to do that with further exploration of the Russian mob lifestyle, but the plans got scrapped.

All in all, Eastern Promises is Viggo Mortensen's finest achievement in acting.




Easy Rider (1969)

Rate: 10
Viewed: 8/03, 12/03, 3/06, 7/07, 5/10, 1/16, 11/21

EasyR
3/06: "An astonishing work of art and an overpowering motion picture experience" is how one Los Angeles Times critic described Easy Rider.

Dennis Hopper, Peter Fonda, and Jack Nicholson will always be identified with this film. The tragic ending is memorable because of what George Hanson said: "They're scared of what you represent to 'em. What you represent to them is freedom."

The scenes with Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper riding on their bikes in front of the country through Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, and Louisiana are absolutely thrilling.

All in all, there will never be another Easy Rider.

7/07: Easy Rider is a journey just like 2001: A Space Odyssey, so sit back, relax, and watch the film for the sheer pleasure.

5/10: When I found out Dennis Hopper had passed away, I knew it's time to see Easy Rider again.

All in all, Easy Rider is movie magic.

1/16: Easy Rider is a simple picture that captures the beauty of America, thanks to the perfect balance of László Kovács' photography and Donn Cambern's editing.

All in all, Dennis Hopper should be proud of delivering a cinema's equivalent of On the Road that's best described as an "overpowering motion picture experience."

11/21: Some have said Easy Rider hadn't aged well, but I don't agree with them.

Responsible for changing the landscape of Hollywood, the movie keeps getting better with relevant messages and stirring music. There are many powerful scenes that still resonate. The acid trip at St. Louis Cemetery No. 1 in New Orleans is unforgettable. So is the ending.

Jack Nicholson toiled in B films for over ten years but didn't become a star until Easy Rider came out. From there on, he established himself as one of the most important actors of the 70's and would give a signature performance many times over. On the other hand, it's eerie to see Phil Spector at the beginning as he would land in the slammer for life after murdering an actress in 2003.

All in all, Easy Rider is a landmark picture that captures the end of the 60's.




Easy Street (1917)

Rate: 1
Viewed: 10/07

EasyS
10/07: I could barely keep my eyes open while watching Easy Street.

It's a real bore.

All in all, Charlie Chaplin was full of shit.




Ed Wood (1994)

Rate: 8
Viewed: 4/05, 11/07, 10/10

EdW
11/07: Ed Wood is an unusual feat because it's not about a great director but the worst director who had ever lived.

Another unusual feat is it's among the first of its kind when it comes to making a movie about a movie director. I regard Tim Burton a very, very creative person, but I hate how he'll destroy his film at the three quarter mark. But this time, Ed Wood is a constant enjoyment from start to finish and is probably the only picture of his I can fully enjoy.

Johnny Depp gives one of the best performances of his career as the eponymous director. He has a beautiful scene when he said, "This is the one. This is the one I'll be remembered for" during the premiere of Plan 9 from Outer Space. Well, that's an accurate statement. Moreover, I love Johnny Depp's reaction when his eyes lit up as if he just discovered plutonium or he yelled, "Cut! Perfect!"

But the heart of the film is Martin Landau as Béla Lugosi. The sympathy he brings to his character, even after how he's reduced from a horror icon to a dope addict, is beautifully portrayed. That's why Martin Landau won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. Aside from the two, Sarah Jessica Parker is miscast and has the personality of wood. I love the supporting thespians, especially Jeffrey Jones and Bill Murray. They're funny guys.

One fantastic scene, although it never happened in real life, is when Ed Wood, Jr., met the great Orson Welles and there's Vincent D'Onofrio's uncanny resemblance to Orson. Although black-and-white pictures are rare during the 90's, the cinematography of Ed Wood is attractive and can compare with the pre-50's pictures.

All in all, Ed Wood is the best picture Tim Burton has ever done.

10/10: Ed Wood is a nice-looking black-and-white picture, allowing me to get know to the worst director of all time, Edward D. Wood, Jr., and how he came to be so.

Johnny Depp gives one of the finest performances of his career. Hands down, the best part is Martin Landau as Béla Lugosi who steals every scene and has many terrific lines.

All in all, Ed Wood is worth watching for many reasons with the chief of them all: Martin Landau's Oscar-winning performance.




Eddie and the Cruisers (1983)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 7/19

EddieCruis1
7/19: A rock 'n' roll band out of Southern New Jersey with roots from the Shore...this is all quite familiar, so this movie is about the Boss named Bruce Springsteen?

At any rate, Eddie and the Cruisers is an enjoyable picture with a good story about a guitarist who's passionate about making timeless music and then vanishes without a trace. Unfortunately, it lacks momentum due to not having any special movie moments. The music is wrong for the 60's when it's too close to Bruce Springsteen's during the 80's.

Fully lip-syncing his way through the show, Michael Paré is the standout and is supported by decent performances from Tom Berenger, Matthew Laurance (the cheating dentist from Beverly Hills, 90210) with the best line of the film "We ain't great. We're just some guys from Jersey," Joe Pantoliano, Helen Schneider, and Ellen Barkin, among others. Eddie Wilson's disappearance is not fully explained, but it's an interesting angle, which smacks of Citizen Kane, to set up a sequel of which I'm looking forward to. The ending is spooky, to say the least.

Eddie and the Cruisers is the most Southern New Jersey film that I can ever recall. Where it was shot are Somers Point, Ocean City, Atlantic City (the boardwalk), Vineland (the Palace of Depression), Atco (the junkyard), Blackwood (at a motel that's most definitely on Black Horse Pike), and Mount Holly (Rancocas Valley Regional High School where my mother attended in the early 60's). I spent most of my time at Beach Haven of Long Beach Island. When the band played in front of the college students, it's at Haverford College of Haverford, Pennsylvania.

All in all, Eddie and the Cruisers isn't a strong picture and has a weak ending, but it captures the essence of Southern New Jersey very well.




Eddie and the Cruisers II:
Eddie Lives! (1989)

Rate: 8
Viewed: 7/19

EddieCruis2
7/19: Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives! is better than the original.

It goes further to make the first part special by highlighting the important parts to bring more meaning to them. The nice thing is it explains why Eddie Wilson disappeared and what his motivations were. With the exception of Michael Paré and Matthew Laurance, most of the original cast don't return which is good news because Tom Berenger's character is the most miscast of them all.

Always lip-syncing, Michael Paré's acting is much better this time around. His character's explosive temper reminds me of the British kitchen sink dramas with Richard Burton and Richard Harris. It's simple: Eddie Wilson is a perfectionist who aims for the impossible although his music sounds a lot like Bruce Springsteen's.

Granted, Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives! is no longer a Southern New Jersey picture, but it succeeds in moving on from the past by entering new territory to set up Eddie Wilson as a man without ties with hardened musical talent to rely on. It's noticeable when Eddie is well-received by his new band members, most especially Hilton Overstreet, when it comes to singing which lends credence to his ability to bring them into the fold despite his heavy-handed criticism.

All in all, Eddie and the Cruisers and Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives!, although two different films, work well together.




The Edge (1997)

Rate: 5
Viewed: 1/06, 6/24

Edge
1/06: The Edge is a mediocre film that's similar to the story of Robinson Crusoe.

The characters of Alec Baldwin and Anthony Hopkins are underdeveloped while everybody else is useless. I wish the focus was on the first two to allow the plot to be more fleshed out because it's interesting to follow. Also, disappointing is how the movie ends. By the way, I hate seeing a movie poster that shows the actors' faces but the names don't match them, and that's the case for The Edge.

All in all, The Edge suffers a lot from bad direction.

6/24: I'm upping my rating for The Edge from '4' to '5'.

It's just not a well-thought-out movie. Had the murder angle been completely removed, I would've enjoyed the show more. I don't see why they had to add more stuff on top of the survival story which is already enough to make a film that was shot on location in Alberta, Canada. David Mamet is a fine writer, but it doesn't show a great deal here in terms of quality dialogue. The other issue is that some of the scenes look fake, especially when a dangerous moment occurs.

The pairing of Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin is impressive, but outshining them both is the bear. I thought he looked familiar, and after reading up about him, it turns out to be the same one from The Bear, The Great Outdoors, and Legends of the Fall, among others. His name was Bart the Bear. When the two characters tried to kill the bear, one should've been in front of him while the other guy stayed on his side. That way, the bear is distracted in two different directions, and his belly can be attacked in turns.

For a smart person, Anthony Hopkins' character, Charles Morse, is an idiot. Forget the freaking compass. Just look at the sun. Wake up in the morning and see where it comes up. That's "east." Then, just before night, notice where the sun sets, hence "west." That's how he can figure out where "south" should be in general. I thought the funny part was when the three survivors came back to where they started at, but I find it preposterous anyway.

One thing is for sure: it's impossible to outrun a bear. Speaking of that, I hate it when the filmmakers decided to apply deux ex machina for convenience's sake. The most obvious is the present of a knife; how totally useful it becomes at the right time. Gee, I wonder what would've happened if Morse never had it to begin with. Ditto for finding an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere that's replete with useful stuff such as a gun and a canoe. By the way, when Morse said at the end, "They died...saving my life," which may seem an odd thing to say, I interpret it as "They saved my life by making me want to save their lives first."

All in all, The Edge had a workable premise going, but I'm ultimately let down in the final thirty minutes.




Edge of Sanity (1989)

Rate: 2
Viewed: 1/13

EdS
1/13: Pardon me, is it literally the edge of sanity or the edge of insanity for Anthony Perkins?

Whichever the choice is, it's clear that Anthony Perkins had lost his mind when he decided to do this film. It's also abundantly clear that he wasn't thinking when he's trying too hard to mimic Alice Cooper. The drain of his mentality can be safely attributed to complications of AIDS that eventually did him in a few years afterwards.

Back to Edge of Sanity, it displays a repetitive pattern that's akin to a broken record, and I keep seeing the same cycle over and over like fifteen times. Finally, the anachronism-filled show ends without any originality. I guess what it's all about is a one bad cocaine trip after another. Maybe lay off the drugs, eh Tony? Meanwhile, it's impossible for these prostitutes to be this good-looking.

All in all, trying to complete Edge of Sanity had been a struggle for me over the course of several days, but I got eight solid hours of sleep each night.




EDtv (1999)

Rate: 9
Viewed: 4/04, 7/05, 3/12

Edt
7/05: Better than The Truman Show, EDtv is a "joyous celebration of boobery."

Although the pace is inconsistent at times, there are good morals presented that's coupled with a great story. Matthew McConaughey is perfect as Ed, and Woody Harrelson is fantastic as his brother. The rest of everybody else does a great job of keeping up with the comedy to enliven things.

All in all, EDtv is one of the funniest movies I've seen in a long time.

3/12: Let's set one thing straight: Matthew McConaughey is a talented actor.

EDtv is another excellent film in his oeuvre, and he's the star of the show. Everybody else involved does a terrific job and makes the comedy work. The movie is hilariously funny that I've continued to see it from time to time. It has held up well. In fact, to this day, I'm surprised the concept hasn't happened yet.

Back then, when everybody was overpraising The Truman Show, I felt EDtv was the superior picture. My favorite is the catchy book title My Brother Pissed on Me which was penned by Ed's brother, and Bill Maher questioned him if it did literally happen.

All in all, EDtv is the film to see again and again because it does have a lot to say about the media and people's infatuation with untalented celebrities.




Educating Rita (1983)

Rate: 3
Viewed: 5/14

ERita
5/14: Julie Walters in Educating Rita is comparable to fingernails screeching on a chalkboard because she's annoying, ingratiating, and plain unlikeable.

Rita is, sadly to say, a dime a dozen when it comes to academics, and they rarely succeed because of their ADD which causes them to be unorganized in many ways. In short, she's not college material.

I used to teach high school physics, and I had a student just like Rita: artistic, witty, idealistic, and, above all, talkative. However, she failed the class every quarter because she was unfit for academics. And I found her a terrible bore because she had no depth. On the other hand, Michael Caine is excellent, but I wish he had a better co-star and, more importantly, better material to work with.

Educating Rita is best viewed as College Myth 101. As I've visited many colleges and universities, I desperately for once want to see students lounging on the lawn either studying or talking about academics. Please...just once. Also, I desperately want to see a lecture where everybody is totally engaged and having a lively discourse about whatever the subject is on hand because that never happens, either.

Oh yes, pretty please...I want to see for once a typical freshman student having weekly 1-on-1 lessons with her professor because it never happens. The professor's time is too valuable to waste on such that unless the student is either shelling ten thousands of dollars for the privilege, playing football or basketball, or sleeping with him. In that case, the professor will have to be labeled as a tutor.

Here's an interesting comment of which I agree with: "In 2007, while promoting the remake of Sleuth, Caine called Educating Rita 'the last good picture [he] made before [he] mentally retired.'" So, RIP Michael Caine the great actor, but of course, he would make a serious comeback during the 90's.

All in all, Educating Rita is a nice try, but I don't think so.




Edward Scissorhands (1990)

Rate: 5
Viewed: 7/06

Edwo
7/06: Edward Scissorhands appears to be a creative outlet for Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, but I don't like it.

All Tim Burton does is make his films dark...so dark that he quickly loses the concept of what entertainment is supposed to be about. He needs to grow up and start thinking about how he can relate the characters to real people. Hence, Edward Scissorhands is too screwed up to be an enjoyable movie.

Once again, Johnny Depp is one-dimensional as Edward; that's why he needed the makeup in the hopes of masking his deficiencies. How can I buy into Winona Ryder's character? She isn't believable for one second. Just curious: why does Edward have scissors for fingers?

All in all, Tim Burton has a lot of work to do if he wants to be taken seriously as a storyteller.




The Eiger Sanction (1975)

Rate: 5
Viewed: 10/10

Eig
10/10: As realistic as the rock climbing scenes are in The Eiger Sanction, the assassin subplot has been rendered a secondary, perhaps tertiary, element.

I was thinking the entire time, "Why not just make the movie be about mountaineering?" That'll be awesome because the climbing scenes are impressive. Hence, it's a missed opportunity for Clint Eastwood who actually did the stunts himself which heightens the realism.

However, for a professional seasoned assassin, his character is sure clumsy. Elsewhere, Vonetta McGee is useless as Jemima, but I like George Kennedy as he keeps things lively. Yet there's too much misogyny going on.

All in all, file The Eiger Sanction under "Could Have Been."




Eight Men Out (1988)

Rate: 8
Viewed: 3/14

8M
3/14: Eight Men Out is the story of the most infamous chapter in professional baseball history: the Chicago Black Sox's throwing of the 1919 World Series.

The film is accurate for the most part except for one thing which inevitably loses a point in my rating: the über famous quote "Say it ain't so, Joe" never happened.

There's a surprising likeness of John Sayles' face to Ring Lardner. You may notice Charlie Sheen as one of the three actors pictured on any cover for Eight Men Out, but his character is inconsequential to the story. So, how about replacing him with David Strathairn or Michael Rooker?

Speaking of Charlie Sheen, notice one scene when he oddly threw his glove in the air and then ran to the dugout at the conclusion of an inning. It was actually a standard practice back then which was ended around the 50's. If there's anything off-putting about the film, it's the imbalance. Several characters, most notably Buck Weaver, get too much screen time while the rest of the others don't have a lot to work with. It's why I can't remember or recall their names or what position they played. I honestly didn't know Eddie Collins played for the Black Sox until I looked up the internet afterwards.

Another disappointment which isn't mentioned, but it's an interesting curio, is the players who didn't participate in the fix went on to be inducted in the Hall of Fame: Eddie Collins, Red Faber, and Ray Schalk. Those who did, well...their infamy would be forever mired in shame. Not that anyone will remember them except for Shoeless Joe Jackson who remains the most famous ballplayer associated with the World Series fix. Regardless of what happened, he, who still has the third highest batting average ever, should be in Cooperstown because it's time to move on.

All in all, Eight Men Out is an interesting, if imbalanced, baseball picture.




El Cid (1961)

Rate: 9
Viewed: 1/16

ElCid
1/16: Only Charlton Heston can pull it off, and that's why he's the greatest actor of epic pictures.

Shot on location in Spain with 7,000 extras and 10,000 costumes, El Cid is a lavishly made epic picture about a real life warrior who was a national hero of Spain during the 11th century.

Marred by awkward slow start, the movie keeps getting better, and the ending, which sports brilliant battle scenes that remind me of Lawrence of Arabia, ties everything up very well. However, the biggest mistake is the inclusion of Sophia Loren. They should either limit her screen time or cut her out completely.

The bottom line is: Sophia Loren cannot act or carry a film. Being beautiful does not and will not replace acting ability. Charlton Heston had to do the work to make amends. It's he who made the biggest difference. Not surprisingly, Sophia Loren and Charlton Heston didn't get along during the film production because he was paid less. Hence, he refused to look Sophia Loren in her eyes. That's why there's a constant feeling of disconnect between these two in every scene.

On the other hand, John Fraser, as Prince Alfonso, does an unbelievable job of providing the emotion. The story is great although it takes a while to get there. When it does, being patient will pay off huge dividends. In spots, director Anthony Mann did seem to be out of his element, but things got better over time. However, Charlton Heston thought less of Mann's ability, preferring William Wyler of Ben-Hur over him.

All in all, El Cid is a fantastic epic picture.




El Mariachi (1992)

Rate: 10
Viewed: 3/05, 6/06, 5/21

ElM
6/06: El Mariachi is a stunner of a picture.

There's a lot of uniqueness about it which is reminiscent of The Wild Bunch. Of course, the avant-garde camera work is what sets the film apart from others.

What's also nice is the romantic tragedy which becomes a surprise as it suddenly happens at the end. Adding a lot of flavor to it is the Mexican grittiness. The overall result is a hard-to-capture foreign quality that's more poetic than anything else.

Carlos Gallardo is delightful, providing some playful tone to the film. He has a great chemisty with Consuelo Gómez who plays Dominó. It's cute to see the uncanny resemblance Peter Marquardt has to James Spader.

All in all, Desperado is a well-done picture, but El Mariachi is superior in all aspects of filmmaking.

5/21: El Mariachi is a stunning Mexican picture that's on the same level as À bout de souffle.

Robert Rodriguez was 23 years old when he made the film, serving as the writer, cinematographer, editor, director, and more. His budget was $7,225 total which was later blown up for an extra $200,000 when Columbia Pictures picked it up for further refinement and wider distribution.

El Mariachi has a poetic quality that's almost never seen in Hollywood cinema by relying on low-angle shots, quick cuts, and Mexican grittiness which would be replicated in Traffic. It goes a long way when the cast of unknowns is made up of distinctive characters. The writing is terrific as the story is transformed into a romantic tragedy.

There are many beautiful scenes. Some of them include a turtle crossing the road, a female going for a swim in Moco's pool, and Dominó holding El Mariachi hostage in the bathtub. A number of thespians such as Reinol Martínez (Azul), Peter Marquardt (Moco the James Spader look-alike), Consuelo Gómez (Dominó), and Jaime de Hoyos (the man in red with dark glasses) either never acted again or did nothing much afterwards which is a shame.

All in all, Robert Rodriguez used all kinds of cost-cutting tricks to make a masterpiece of world cinema through El Mariachi.




Election (1999)

Rate: 4
Viewed: 6/24

Elect
6/24: Election is an awful movie, and I should've predicted it after first seeing the odious MTV label.

I'm shocked it was Oscar-nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay. It's nothing special, resembling many of those catchy, quirky high school crap pictures that I had been noticing since the mid 90's. What's with the sex stuff? That's way overboard. The teacher who had sex with Tracy Flick would've been sent to prison. Why must they rip-off the freeze-frame technique and the opening credits style from Goodfellas?

There are no likeable characters. Worse is all but one (Jim McAllister) aren't fleshed out that much, hence the imbalance of the storytelling. I'm disappointed in Matthew Broderick. He looks bad now. There's no incentive for him to do this piece of shit by going from Ferris Bueller to Ed Rooney. By the way, Chris Klein, who plays Paul Metzler, has the Keanu Reeves vibe.

As for the student election stuff, yeah...everything is accurate, and I can attest to it because I won once, having done the same thing what Tracy Flick and Paul Metzler did. It was kind of a big deal at my school, but in hindsight, I don't consider it as a significant achievement. The following year, I ran for a better position but actually adopted the same attitude that Tammy Metzler had by not putting up a single poster or campaigning for it. It's only because I didn't care. To my surprise, I lost a very, very close election.

All in all, because of the sex stuff, Election is disgusting and then ultimately pointless.




Electra Glide in Blue (1973)

Rate: 3
Viewed: 10/21

Electra
10/21: I was most curious when it came to the meaning of the words for the title Electra Glide in Blue.

Within fifteen minutes of the opening, I finally found out, but the rest of the film is a mess. I had a feeling for a while it was going to end in an Easy Rider way. Lo and behold, that's what happened...just as exactly. And no, Alan Ladd wasn't that short; he's about four inches taller than Robert Blake.

The rest of everything else is stupid, boring, and slow although the photography by Conrad Hall is first-rate. There's supposed to be a murder case, but it becomes an afterthought. Instead, I'm at the mercy of many close-ups and meandering scenes.

The only film ever directed by James William Guercio who's primarily in the music business (hence the random concert scene), Electra Glide in Blue isn't different from the pretentious pictures made by the Cohen brothers. Reportedly, Robert Blake and Conrad Hall did most of the directorial work. James William Guercio would later reteam with Robert Blake to produce an even outstandingly bad movie called Second-Hand Hearts.

I've got to say Robert Blake did a good job as John Wintergreen which got him cast in a TV show entitled Baretta that he's memorable for. It's the best Robert Blake could do with the material although he captures a lot of his character's persona from In Cold Blood. Oh boy, Elisha Cook, Jr., has gone wacko. Billy Green Bush and Mitchell Ryan play caricatures who don't make any sense. It's hard to tell, but Nick Nolte was in the film; he can be spotted wearing a long-sleeved blue shirt during the confrontation between Wintergreen and the hippies.

All in all, Electra Glide in Blue makes it plain that James William Guercio wasn't cut out to be a film director.




The Electric Horseman (1979)

Rate: 2
Viewed: 5/12

Hman
5/12: So, what killed the film?

Simple. Jane Fonda. That woman cannot act, and she's instantly unlikeable. It's why The Electric Horseman is impossible to watch. Jane Fonda ruins every scene by virtue of her irritating presence.

On the other hand, Robert Redford's Sonny Steele makes a political stand about the treatment of one horse. But let me ask him something important. For somebody who's an All-Around World Champion, five times at it, he must know that rodeo is predicated on animal abuse.

Why does he think horses and bulls become angry and start flipping out like they're crazy right out of the gates? It's because they get "zapped" in their sensitive areas. Calf roping and steer wrestling involve breaking necks of these animals. How about the horse tripping event? There's so much animal abuse that exist in rodeos which eventually fell out of favor after the 70's. Hence, there's no mass public support for these events. So, Mr. Sonny Steele, you're a fucking hypocrite.

Looking at the movie poster, I have to ask this: what is it the hell they are doing? It looks like they're trying out some weird sex position after seeing it in a book from India.

All in all, The Electric Horseman is full of shit.




The Elephant Man (1980)

Rate: 10
Viewed: 7/14

Ele
7/14: The Elephant Man is one of the most touching films I've seen.

Shot in 1980, Freddie Francis' black-and-white cinematography is top-notch, and it's a surprise it wasn't nominated. Speaking of Oscars, this is the film that forced the Academy Awards to start rewarding makeup artists the following year, so Christopher Tucker and his team missed out big time because it's that good and spectacular. So, check out the documentary from the DVD because it's fascinating to listen to.

Among the cast, superlative and sensitive performances are rendered by John Hurt and Anthony Hopkins. Of all David Lynch pictures, The Elephant Man is his best achievement although the introduction is ridiculous and preposterous. What I like about it is the presentation of the human side of John Merrick. By the way, his name was actually Joseph, not John. It was the excessive calcium deposits that made his face appear disfigured. There's also a similar film, that's worth watching, called Mask with Eric Stoltz.

All in all, The Elephant Man is a fine picture.




Elmer Gantry (1960)

Rate: 10
Viewed: 3/14, 6/22

Elmer
3/14: I didn't think it was possible for Hollywood to produce a film that makes a total mockery of religion from the atheistic point of view.

Well, they did it for Sinclair Lewis' book entitled Elmer Gantry. While there are many outstanding scenes, Burt Lancaster gives the most fiery performance of his career. He has never been better, having won the Oscar. This is a different league for him. Sometimes, comparing Burt Lancaster with Marlon Brando isn't far off.

Another superlative performance is given by Jean Simmons who provides a counterbalancing force against the titular star. In the middle of these two is Arthur Kennedy who plays the same recognizable reporter from Lawrence of Arabia and offers a cynical perspective while trying to make sense out of Revivalism.

All in all, Elmer Gantry may run for two and half hours, but it's one of the quickest and most thrilling pictures I've sat through, thanks to Burt Lancaster's Oscar-winning performance.

6/22: There's no doubt of Burt Lancaster winning the Best Actor Oscar for Elmer Gantry.

It's a powerful chameleon-like performance, and he's brilliant. It's too bad about Jean Simmons not being awarded a nomination. She had always been great for many years but never got the recognition she deserved. Arthur Kennedy, Shirley Jones, and Edward Andrews are also very good with an Oscar going to the second.

Elmer Gantry is a complicated movie, and it's easy to lean toward either way. But make no mistake: Elmer Gantry and Sharon Falconer are true con artists. This is what evangelists do for a living: rob people blind in the name of religion.

All in all, Burt Lancaster had given many great performances, but what he did in Elmer Gantry ranks number one of his career.




Embrace of the Vampire (1995)

Rate: 4
Viewed: 8/12

EmbV
8/12: At some point during Embrace of the Vampire, I thought the editing looked familiar to me, and it turns out the director, Anna Goursand, did Bram Stoker's Dracula a few years earlier.

Sensing the soft porn style, I wondered if Anna Goursand was Zalman King's protégé. It turned out she directed Another 9½ Weeks. If he was the director instead, Embrace of the Vampire might have worked out better.

Looking at the comments from Amazon, they've been: "Boy, does Alyssa Milano look great when she's naked!" "Alyssa Milano is smoking." "[She is] the only highlight of this film." "Alyssa Milano! Mostly Nude!" "The 5 stars are for Alyssa's perfect nude body only." and "Alyssa Milano is hot!"

It seems these reviewers were only impressed by the size of her areolas but paid no attention to everything else. I wonder why she did it for such a poor script. The bitch battle between her character and Elisa is interesting and should've been the main feature of the film.

All in all, Anne Goursand is a Zalman King wannabe.




Emperor of the North (1973)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 5/22

EmpNorth
5/22: In spite of featuring three Oscar winners, Emperor of the North doesn't have my strong recommendation.

In many ways, the film is similar to Runaway Train which presents the same theme. Instead of Jon Voight and Eric Roberts, it's Lee Marvin and Keith Carradine. In the place of John P. Ryan is Ernest Borgnine. Only this time, the action is dull, and the dialogue is sort of stagy. If that's how the hobos were during the Great Depression, well...it's odd.

Of course, Emperor of the North failed at the box office, and director Robert Aldrich expressed surprise about it. Why should he? It isn't a good movie, period. He talked a lot about symbols in play. Yeah, so did other films of that time. At least, the stunts on the train are well-done, and the actors actually did the work.

All in all, having Lee Marvin on board helps, but it isn't enough to save Emperor of the North.




Empire (2002)

Rate: 5
Viewed: 9/23

Empe
9/23: Despite showing a bit of style, Empire is a cheesy, low-budget gangster picture.

Recently, I saw Blue Hill Avenue and said, "I've seen this a hundred times before." Here I go again now. The story is the same: a group of wannabe gangsters had gotten into the drug trade and became successful, and one of them wants to retire for good. Along the way, problems occur.

This time, there's a twist: the gang leader gets scammed by a white-collar criminal. I knew it from the beginning. Why does a moron like Victor Rosa would know a thing about investments? He just liked the sound of the impossible returns: 100%, 200%, 300%, etc., in months. Riiiiight. Of course, he pays the price for his idiocy, and the end.

The acting is okay for the most part, but John Leguizamo is no actor. Wearing stupid clothes, Denise Richards' character is thankfully shot in the head, but it's too late anyway. According to Wikipedia, the director said, "His film is different from other gangster films, such as Scarface and Blood In, Blood Out, because it is directed by a Latino." Um...not good enough; affirmative action doesn't mean a thing when it comes to quality.

All in all, Empire tries to reinvent the wheel but comes up empty.




Empire of the Sun (1987)

Rate: 10
Viewed: 11/13

EmpS
11/13: I'm not sure why to this day Empire of the Sun remains an overlooked picture.

Back in the late 80's, I had seen it several times, but since then, I didn't make a revisit until today. Certainly, there's a lot of David Lean about it, thanks to the top-notch cinematography. Perpetually, I've considered Steven Spielberg the best director ever because of his ability to create a masterpiece in any genre. This is one of them.

If there's anything I'm surprised, it's that Christian Bale didn't get enough accolades for his performance which is akin to what happened to Peter O'Toole for Lawrence of Arabia. There are a lot of similarities between both films as well. I admit I had been confused by what Empire of the Sun was trying to say, but I like it.

All in all, Empire of the Sun is a wonderful reminiscence of David Lean's style.




Empire Records (1995)

Rate: 7
Viewed: 3/19

EmpireR
3/19: Pretentious at first, Empire Records is slow to warm up to and becomes a better film over time, thanks to the chemistry of the cast.

Most of the fault is attributed to Rory Cochrane and Ethan Embry. Their characters are so annoying that I want to punch them in the nose repeatedly and not feel bad about it afterwards. There's no way in hell Corey Mason is Harvard material; she's too stupid to recite the ABC's backwards.

The premise is this: a moron employee lost a day's worth of receipts which is $9,000. But really...$9,000 was made in one day at a local record store? In a year, it'll come to roughly $3.3 million in revenue. And the store owner is, all of a sudden, broke? It's total bullshit.

On the other hand, Anthony LaPaglia is the key for keeping the show together and making it work. Maxwell Caulfield isn't bad, either, as Rex Manning. It feels like the older stars are the glue while the younger ones are in dire need of acting lessons, almost causing the film to come apart at the seams. I like how everybody makes fun of Warren who's a stupid kid himself.

All in all, Empire Records, a huge box-office stinker, is proof positive that great chemistry can save a bad film.




The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Rate: 7
Viewed: 6/03, 5/17

EmpireSt
5/17: Improving my rating from '6' to '7', The Empire Strikes Back is a fair sequel to Star Wars.

The first 45 minutes, which takes place in Hoth, is tedious to go through. Having seen the film four times, going back to the 80's, I've never liked this part. It should have been 30 minutes shorter. Once I get through it, the movie becomes better from there on.

George Lucas' team has done a good clean-up job because the cinematography looks great. Compared to Star Wars, there are several bad changes such as the distracting CGI additions at the beginning, but there's little the rest of the way.

The most annoying aspect is listening to the bickering between Han Solo, whose behavior borders sexual harassment, and Princess Leia. It slowly goes away when the action becomes more serious. Strangely, she's the only female in the entire galaxy. Luke Skywalker's Jedi training is the silliest part. He fails every test and then decides to leave; by the time Luke fights Darth Vader, he's a bona fide Jedi Knight already. The downside is the lazy storytelling. There are many instances, but I'll point out some:

One, how is it possible that Luke landed at the exact spot of a huge planet where Yoda lives?

Two, somebody thought it was a brilliant idea to equip a spacecraft with a roped harpoon? Like it will be totally useful one day. How convenient for Luke to use it on an AT-AT Walker.

Three, this is something that had always bothered me since I first saw the film in the 80's, but is Luke a human being or a machine? When his hand was cut off by Darth Vader, his wrist should be bleeding profusely. Some minutes later, Luke has a new hand with a lot of wires through his wrist.

Four, when Luke was attacked by a wampa, why didn't he finish him off? This way, he would've stayed inside the carcass overnight to stay warm. That means bad news for Han Solo, but he can find security by being inside the tauntaun's belly he was riding on.

The best part is the showdown between Luke and Darth Vader. It's easy to see how epic it looks. Of course, Darth telling Luke that he's his father is never a surprise, not even when I first saw the film, because there are many dropped hints going back to almost the beginning of Star Wars.

All in all, although unique for allowing the bad side to win and not having a concrete ending, The Empire Strikes Back isn't better than Star Wars but is as equally overrated.




Encino Man (1992)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 5/13

Enc
5/13: The best and the funniest moment of Encino Man is when Brendan Fraser walked through a glass door and got smashed in the face.

As we all know, he went on to do bigger things while his co-stars, Sean Astin and Pauly Shore, had seen their Hollywood careers flame out. Back to the film, there are a lot of logic problems in regard to how the two boys found the caveman, especially in this kind of physical condition. There's no way a chuck of block within 10 feet from the ground would stay unmelted for thousands of years.

After being stuck in the block of ice for, oh I don't know, 100,000 years, it's not possible for Link to be able to walk anymore. Just ask anyone who has been out of a ten-year coma. Or better yet, watch Hard to Kill with Steven Seagal. It's also not possible for the hole, which is substituted for a swimming pool, to hold any gallon of water, let alone 1,000 of it. Finally, at the end of the film, pray tell me where did the Encino Woman come from?

All in all, if not for Brendan Fraser, Encino Man wouldn't have worked.




End of Days (1999)

Rate: 2
Viewed: 1/24

EndDays
1/24: End of Days?

It's more like the end of Arnold Schwarzenegger. What prompted him to take on this piece of shit? It must have been the heavy cigar smoking that poisoned his mind. Thanks to the abuse of anabolic steroids during the heyday of bodybuilding, Arnold had his first open-heart surgery two years prior. It's clear in the film he looks fat and is no longer muscle-bound that he used to be.

Among the biggest mistakes are ripping off the storyline from The Omen, making the vision too dark, using an idiot director by the name of Peter Hyams, and casting one of the worst actress of all time to play Christine York: Robin Tunney. The two hours of nonstop brain-dead action only serves to drain me further. There's no reason for Satan not to kill Arnold's character midway.

I was sick of the whole Y2K hysteria when it happened back then. Of course, nothing came of it. Even worse, the millennium doesn't actually take place on January 1, 2000, but the following year because if you think about it: the calendar begins with 1, and you count that off until the year of 1000 which constitutes the first millennium and is then reset on January 1, 1001. However, it can be perceived to be made up because there's no scientific evidence when it comes to the exact date, considering that Earth is 4.5 something billion years old.

All in all, you can stick a fork in Arnold Schwarzenegger because he's done.




Enemies, A Love Story (1989)

Rate: 8
Viewed: 9/12

Ene
9/12: Enemies, A Love Story is a heartwarming story with a weird twist.

Of the cast, Ron Silver's performance stands out the most despite Anjelica Huston and Lena Olin receiving Oscar nominations. The ingenious story is what keeps it together because I haven't seen a similar kind in another film. There are times the characters are funny.

Also, I like the 40's feel, and it works. Of course, to keep things in perspective, all of the central characters are Holocaust survivors. So, it's difficult to judge Herman's moral values because most likely he's just confused.

All in all, Enemies, A Love Story is a unique movie.




Enemy at the Gates (2001)

Rate: 3
Viewed: 5/05

EneG
5/05: Enemy at the Gates is like a boring chess game that ends suddenly by taking the easy way out.

The visuals of the battle and the Russian war zone are nice, but there's nothing else positive to comment on. Hence, it's a weak entry for the WWII genre.

Joseph Fiennes is cardboard. Jude Law is wooden. Ed Harris lacks the same form that made him a great actor. The film is too long which took me a few sittings to get through. I made a lot of predictions, and they turned out to be true.

All in all, there are many missing elements in Enemy at the Gates to be a good, solid war picture.




The Enemy Below (1957)

Rate: 9
Viewed: 2/24

EnBel
2/24: While Das Boot remains the indisputable champ of the submarine genre, The Enemy Below is the runner-up.

Robert Mitchum vs. Curd Jürgens. An American destroyer escort vs. a German U-boat. It's a battle of wits. Hence, the film is fun to watch despite the heavy ship dialogue. A lot of times, I didn't know what everybody was saying, but I'm sure it's accurate. The only negative is the Germans should be speaking their native language the entire time.

The best part is the depth charges exploding underwater over and over. There's no CGI bullshit. That's why the film won an Oscar for Best Special Effects. Sound is another big part of the action. Despite playing a Nazi, to hate Curd Jürgens is impossible. He's instead a likeable character, so it's tough who to root for: Mitchum or Jürgens. A tie has been declared. By the way, Robert Mitchum has a good philosophical scene with Russell Collins before he's ready to go in action.

All in all, if you loved Das Boot, you have to see The Enemy Below.




Enemy of the State (1998)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 8/23

EnemyState
8/23: Enemy of the State is a good example of a Tony Scott picture: big-name stars, rapid editing, dark undertones, plenty of action, and blockbuster style.

I hate to say this, but Will Smith, in a role which was meant for Tom Cruise, looks completely out of place. What's interesting is how well the cast of strong performers like Jon Voight, Gene Hackman, and Tom Sizemore got into the act, reducing his impact. Therefore, the movie becomes easy to get through although the filmmakers did lose control of it at times. By the way, what the heck happened to Gabriel Byrne? He showed up for a scene or two and then disappeared for good.

Of course, the story, which is The Conversation meets The Firm, is prescient. In 1998, it may have sounded ludicrous, but Edward Snowden proved everything to be accurate as far as online companies working with the government, most notably the NSA, go in terms of personal data storage. That's why he defected to Russia afterwards.

On the other hand, the technology as shown is bullshit. In 1998, it wasn't that advanced, and some of the images, especially the shopping bag rotation, still can't be done. Perhaps one day it'll be reality which may not be outlandish considering how much the government has abused its rights to invade people's privacy. By the way, when somebody asked why they couldn't see Gene Hackman's face before being called an idiot, well...Jack Black's character is the idiot for not realizing there are video cameras in the hotel.

All in all, Enemy of the State is not so much of a Will Smith movie but Tony Scott's.




The Enemy Within (1994)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 3/21

EnemyWith
3/21: Run, Forest, run!

Not knowing a thing about The Enemy Within, it didn't take me more than fifteen minutes to realize the film is a very, very loose remake of Seven Days in May.

This may be hard to believe, but the former is slightly better than the latter, only because it's more modern, less slow, and more exciting. At least, I stayed awake and finished it in one sitting. The other film is too long.

Of course, Forest Whitaker is the icing on the cake; he's solid and consistent, making the show easy to watch. The rest of the cast, which includes two guys from Law & Order, are excellent by meeting the needed gravity of the situation.

Unfortunately, the dialogue is sometimes unclear. There are certain scenes that jump ahead too much. For instance, Colonel Casey is seen leaving the psychiatrist's office while the sun is shining fully through the window, and the next shot is of him meeting a mysterious lady and it's dark outside. Another is when he told his son to run away as quickly as possible, but there's no follow-up to his well-being. It would happen twice.

All in all, had the flaws been corrected, The Enemy Within would stand a good chance of working out more favorably.




The Enforcer (1976)

Rate: 8
Viewed: 1/05, 10/07

Enf
10/07: The first time I saw The Enforcer, I had it rated '3', and now, seeing the film again, it's more of an '8'.

Dirty Harry is definitely back after his exile in Magnum Force. In many ways, it's a big improvement over the predecessor but falls short in some areas as compared to Dirty Harry. Clint Eastwood's sense of humor is probably the best part. If anybody thinks he belongs in the Comedy Hall of Fame, I'll second it.

As usual, Clint Eastwood carves an icon out of Dirty Harry. He refuses to negotiate with criminals, follows his own policy of "shoot first, ask later," and says things that are outlandish. There's one great scene which shows Dirty Harry, hence the moniker, making most of his unorthodox methods to achieve results by ramming a car into the liquor store to squash the hostage situation. It'll never happen in real life, but it's funny.

On the other hand, Tyne Daly gives a nice performance but is nothing special. Thanks to Clint Eastwood's enormous popularity as Dirty Harry, the success of The Enforcer is primarily responsible for making the next two sequels happen: Sudden Impact and The Dead Pool.

All in all, The Enforcer provides a great fix for all Dirty Harry fans.




The English Patient (1996)

Rate: 4
Viewed: 3/04, 8/23

EPatient
8/23: There are some Best Picture Winners I would quickly dismiss after seeing them during initial release, and The English Patient is one of them.

The love story made no impression on me; it's just an ordinary movie that runs far too long. Juliette Binoche won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress, but quite frankly, she's the single worst thing about it. She wanting to make the whole thing to be all about her character is damn ridiculous. It's like Casablanca that's trapped inside a Julia Roberts movie, and all I can see is Julia going, "Look at me! Look at me! Am I pretty?" Everything related to her is superfluous.

I have to say Ralph Fiennes did a good job. It's too bad about what happened with Juliette Binoche. She took too much attention away from the main story. Had it been cut out entirely, The English Patient would've been a better and, most likely, shorter movie, but either way, it's no Best Picture material. Kristin Scott Thomas is okay but is nothing special. The characters are a bunch of rich white people wearing L.L.Bean outfits; it's therefore hard for me to relate to.

Back to the story, it's not romantic when adultery is involved and Colin Firth's character is never shown to be a bad chap. Hence, why am I required to look the other way? As scarce as resources and personnel were in the late stage of WWII, there's no way approval would be granted for Almásy to have his own nurse and a stack of morphine bottles and be left alone in some Italian monastery.

All in all, because of The English Patient and the other silly choices made the next few years, the Academy Awards went kaput and had never recovered since then.




The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill
but Came Down a Mountain (1995)

Rate: 7
Viewed: 12/16, 3/22

EngHill
12/16: The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill but Came Down a Mountain may seem a pointlessly long title, but after you see the film, it's not hard to be amused by what the hoopla is all about.

The first adjective that should come to mind when describing the English comedy is "charming." It really is. What a great cast. The three standouts are Hugh Grant, Colm Meaney, and Kenneth Griffith. They've made the film, and the story just takes a life of its own.

It's about a couple of English cartographers who come to Ffynnon Garw, a Welsh village, to measure the nearby lump of dirt to see if it qualifies as a hill or a mountain by meeting the 1,000 feet requirement. When the nonchalant locals find out, after thinking it's well above 2,000 to 3,000 feet and taking bets on the estimated measurement, it's only a hill, they become ashamed and, with their national pride on the line, decide to pour extra twenty feet of dirt to make sure it's a mountain.

All in all, because of the unusual story, The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill but Came Down a Mountain is one of the most charming movies I've seen.

3/22: Downgrading my rating from '8' to '7', The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill but Came Down a Mountain is a unique movie about Welsh pride of wanting a local hill to be classified as a mountain.

Colm Meaney and Kenneth Griffith are memorable as Morgan the Goat and the Reverend Robert Jones, respectively. Hugh Grant is great again and shows why he's perfect for this brand of British comedies. Most of all, it's the story that's the heart of the film.

The reason for the point loss in my rating is that it's not a funny movie when there should be plenty of laugh-aloud moments. It has a quaint charm, that's all. The budding relationship between Reginald and Elizabeth is weak and therefore doesn't add much to the overall plot.

All in all, the title The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill but Came Down a Mountain says it all.




Enough (2002)

Rate: 5
Viewed: 10/21

Enough
10/21: The title Enough says it all whether it's Jennifer Lopez, the spoiled little girl, the cheese factor, or the absurd story.

I really know why things happened this way. It's because the wife was thinking about money all along. Her plan was to stay within the marriage long enough in order to inherit the fortune that her abusive husband had amassed by murdering him.

If not, why would she stay at Biltmore Hotel for what must be $300 to $500 a night instead of a regular motel like Ramada or Days Inn? Even the word "abusive" is a stretch here; it only happened a couple of times or so, and the wife had enough wits to walk away from the marriage. It's not like The Burning Bed we're talking about here.

So...yes, the wife knew what she was doing although none of this is clearly spelled out in the film for the audience. If not, it should've ended right away after she obtained a new name and a social security card while in Michigan because there's no way of tracing her anymore. Who cares about her daughter? She's perfect for her mother's leverage to get what she wants: money.

However, there's a one "but": the phone call made by the wife during the confrontation. She incriminated herself by saying, "I know all that, but I can't do it. I'm not a killer, Gin. I'm not him. I can't do this." That's a strong case of premeditation. Plus, her fingerprints are all over the two guns she stowed away. It's hard to tell now because we don't know if the phone and the guns were thrown in the river along with the bag. As for the phone call, it doesn't matter because the conversation was recorded on her friend's end.

Jennifer Lopez is okay; she carries the film well enough although there's an über cheesy scene of her being serious about acquiring self-defense techniques. Here, it's another example of premeditation. During the fight, the husband could've kept throwing things to knock down his wife, but he just stood there and took it.

Something needs to be said about the cast. Juliette Lewis is an ugly woman in real life, and it's apparent she's wearing a lot of makeup in the film to hide that fact. Billy Campbell plays the husband, but who is he? He's so bland and weak that it's what Enough has been missing the whole time: an alpha male. Fred Ward can do a better job, but he's old. Hence, all of the attention is on Jennifer Lopez. Famous for being cute in ER, Noah Wyle doesn't fit for a baddie.

All in all, if not for Jennifer Lopez, Enough is another watered-down Lifetime Movie of the Week about battered wives.




Enter the Dragon (1973)

Rate: 7
Viewed: 8/04, 4/06, 9/10, 10/20

EntD
4/06: Although I'm in awe of Bruce Lee, Enter the Dragon has no story whatsoever in any shape or form.

It goes without saying the movie is about the kung fu action. What I would love to see differently is the elimination of John Saxon and Jim Kelly, Bruce Lee getting most of the attention, and a real plot.

I rather see a tournament with Bruce Lee being granted more matches than just one with O'Hara. Furthermore, I want him to go against Bolo Yeung and the other never-seen-before real karate champions to make the film more enjoyable. Even Jackie Chan is in it, so use him.

All in all, it's too bad how Enter the Dragon turned out to be in spite of making Bruce Lee an iconic movie star posthumously.

9/10: Flipping through the channels on the idiot box, I happened to catch the middle of Enter the Dragon.

Feeling motivated to watch the entire thing, I wanted to see if my opinion might be improved. Unfortunately, not only the film isn't better but it also looks worse than before. It's a fact that Bruce Lee is an worldwide icon because of his performance in Enter the Dragon, but it's also a fact that he's only good for one thing: martial arts. In other words, he's not much of an actor.

What's with John Saxon and Jim Kelly having equal screen time as Bruce Lee? This is what makes the film a serious disappointment. Nobody is interested in either; simply put, everybody wants to see Bruce Lee all the time. His scenes, especially the match with O'Hara, are breathtaking to watch; they're the best parts.

Of course, Bruce is funny...and of course, I rolled my eyes when he said a couple of lines like "Boards...don't hit back" and "You have offended my family." The most memorable, which was inspired by the famous scene in Orson Welles' The Lady from Shanghai, is the final showdown between Bruce Lee and Han in the hall of mirrors (8,000 of them!). So, it's too bad the rest of the film doesn't hold up to par.

All in all, Enter the Dragon remains the most well-known picture of the kung fu genre.

10/20: Shot on location entirely in Hong Kong, Enter the Dragon is the most iconic picture of the kung fu genre and the most famous of Bruce Lee's short-lived career.

Believe it or not, Bruce Lee was the first Asian thespian to gain widespread acceptance by white America, but unfortunately, the chances for many Asian actors to achieve the same feat haven't improved much since then. Today, when people think of Asians, kung fu immediately comes to their mind. Hey, quick! Name five Asian actors outside of the genre. See what I mean? And no, Bollywood doesn't count because most people have no idea that it exists and don't care about it.

However, let's not take anything away from Bruce Lee. He's the main star of Enter the Dragon. Forget John Saxon and Jim Kelly. Yes, the story sucks, the dialogue is laughable, and the acting is terrible. Amidst these negatives, there's one undeniable fact: Bruce Lee is absolutely captivating, especially during the fight scenes which are one of a kind.

People wonder what happened to Bruce Lee. Well, he died at the age of 32 and never saw the theatrically released film. Prior to it, Bruce had his underarm sweat glands removed for vanity reasons (I know what you're thinking, and I'm in agreement with you). Hence, his body couldn't regulate heat anymore due to the inability to sweat; he would tire easily and have heat stroke-like symptoms. The night Bruce Lee died from massive brain damage, he was in a hot room doing dialogue work and suffered from seizures and headaches throughout the day.

All in all, although not a well-made film, Enter the Dragon is totally watchable, thanks to Bruce Lee.




Equus (1977)

Rate: 10
Viewed: 3/17, 10/17, 11/21

Equus
3/17: Equus is a deep, disturbing psychological picture that may be the best of the genre.

Also, it features the last great performance by Richard Burton in a serious comeback after appearing in several disasters, and as a result, he was awarded the seventh and final Oscar nomination of his storied acting career.

Not to be missed is Peter Firth's intense, show-stealing Oscar-nominated performance as Alan Strang. I'm surprised he, having played the character over a thousand times on stage, didn't win the award because it's one of the best performances that anyone has given in the history of motion pictures. And Jenny Agutter is a brave lady, too.

Peter Shaffer, who won the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay for Amadeus, wrote the play for Equus which is based on a true story of a boy who blinded six horses, but he dramatized the whole thing to reach for a stronger effect in a sexual and psychological way. I love how he interweaves the equine language with what's happening with the boy.

Sidney Lumet is the perfect director for such material because of his ability to put complicated ideas together. The two best scenes are Alan Strang's dream ride and Martin Dysart's revelation of how much he envied the boy's passion.

All in all, Equus is unquestionably one of the best movies ever made.

10/17: When I think of Equus, I simultaneously think of Richard Burton and Peter Firth.

I'm still surprised Peter Firth didn't win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor after playing the character over a thousand of times on stage. Nobody was better than him that year.

Richard Burton...it's impossible to think of him less than a superlative actor of the highest order. He's brilliant as Martin Dysart the psychiatrist, and he understood clearly what he was dealing with in Alan Strang. The way Richard Burton delivered his lines are sublime, powerful, and hypnotic, especially during the soliloquies.

"The boy's in pain, Martin." It's the quote of the film that captures what psychiatry is all about: to help people manage their pain while they're suffering in mental hell. The scene of Alan Strang going round and round with his white horse is unforgettable. There's nothing like it.

All in all, Richard Burton and Peter Firth were robbed of their Oscars for Equus.

11/21: Brilliant writing, brilliant acting, and brilliant story.

After sloshing around in the world of alcohol and wasting his talent for years, Richard Burton makes the greatest comeback of all time by appearing in Equus as psychiatrist Martin Dysart to give a fiery but focused performance. His riveting soliloquies are the stuff of greats.

The way Richard Burton plays off everybody is his acting gift. Always in character, he never pretends but reacts in a genuine way. There's a powerful scene between him and Eileen Atkins at the table as they both explore the purpose of treating Alan Strang. Burton, as Dysart, talks about being envious of his passion: "That's what his stare has been saying to me all this time: 'At least I galloped. When did you?'"

Peter Firth is unforgettable. It's a singular peformance. Yes, nominated for an Oscar, but he really got robbed of the win. So was Richard Burton which went to Richard Dreyfuss (oh, please) for The Goodbye Girl. You won't find two of the most extraordinary performances in the same film that often. Colin Blakely and Joan Plowright are excellent as well.

All in all, when I think of Richard Burton's masterpiece acting performances, Equus ranks right up there.




Eraser (1996)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 1/24

Erase
1/24: Despite being a highly bankable star, Arnold Schwarzenegger's slide in quality during the second half of the 90's began with Eraser.

The film did look good for a while, and Arnold was getting it done. Then, the action became ludicrous. Stupid moments were multiplying like rabbits along with the bad CGI. I wasn't used to this sort of thing coming from him. His stuff were better and more realistic during the 80's, and it never had to end at the warehouse or the docks like so many bad action-adventure movies.

Why Vanessa Williams? All she can do is show off her blue eyes. That's the limit of her acting skills. If Vanessa's character was working for a gun manufacturer and had access to important information, it means she would have to be intelligent. So, why is she made to be one-dimensional the whole time?

How did John Kruger know the prototype rifle couldn't see behind the refrigerator when he wasn't aware of it beforehand? It's amazing how he's able to handle himself airborne, especially when he let himself go without getting hit by the plane. Then, there's the parachute stunt that's perfectly done. At the end, John is atop a falling shipping container that lands violently hard, and he's shown okay afterwards.

All in all, the smartest thing that happened to Eraser is Sylvester Stallone's hate for the script which led him to work on Cop Land instead.




Eraserhead (1977)

Rate: 1
Viewed: 7/15

Eraser
7/15: It doesn't take me long to label Eraserhead as one of the ten or fifteen worst films I've ever seen in my life.

I thought David Lynch was better than this, but then again, I'm reminded by his Twin Peaks experiment gone horribly wrong. Making an abstract film is one thing, but making a coherent film is another thing. You can't have the first without the other.

That's what happened in Eraserhead. In fact, it's the perfect type of picture to attract idiot film students. Not only is the movie incoherent, but it's also downright boring and pointless. The loud screeching noises coming from the TV bothered my dog a lot. Eraserhead may have been an interesting film in 1977, but today, it's utter shit. That's why I can't believe the rave reviews. Those who liked it must have been on drugs.

All in all, I'm surprised that Jim Jarmusch's films, which are usually pieces of shit, rise above the dreck like Eraserhead.




Escape from Alcatraz (1979)

Rate: 8
Viewed: 5/06

Alc
5/06: Escape from Alcatraz is a tightly made film about Frank Morris' escape from the most famous prison in history.

Even better, it also features another collaboration between Don Siegal and Clint Eastwood. There's no required characterization or development of the players involved because it's all about the escape and how Frank Morris did it.

The suspense is controlled with some intense moments. At the hands of an ordinary director, Escape from Alcatraz would've been a difficult film due to the limitedness of the subject, but Don Siegal proved his mastery by overcoming it.

All in all, most pictures featuring Clint Eastwood are almost guaranteed to be sure-fire entertainment, and Escape from Alcatraz is one of them.




Escape from L.A. (1996)

Rate: 7
Viewed: 10/03, 7/06, 6/11, 12/21

EscL
7/06: Fifteen years later, Snake Plissken is back.

Louder and bigger than ever, Escape from L.A. is good fun that looks better than the original with few minor problems. Kurt Russell once again gives a great performance as the über famous Snake Plissken.

John Carpenter is able to blend the terrible-looking CGI with the sci-fi classic to make it look more attuned to today's standards of cinema while Snake Plissken is the bastion of old values and traditions. Also, what's fascinating is the Orwellian atmosphere that still rings true to this day.

Meanwhile, some of the minor problems are as follows: Pam Grier's horrible acting, cheesy special effects at times, and the lack of momentum which occurs about three-quarters of the way. But the pace is picked up thereafter with a strong finish that's characteristic of Snake Plissken.

All in all, Escape from L.A. is nice, but the original is better.

6/11: "Call me...Snake." "Call me...Plissken."

Does it really matter? Hell, yes. Escape from L.A. is a lot of fun but is sadly wrecked by the bad, cheesy CGI special effects. Had they been removed, the movie might look better. The story milks the original premise for what it's worth which is another disappointment. At least, Kurt Russell is a must-see for playing the all-time badass Snake Plissken, his most favorite role ever. That alone is worth the price of admission.

The best part is the ending. Even more impressive is the basketball scene because Kurt actually made all of these shots including the full court shot. Another favorite is when Snake challenged the four idiots with Bangkok rules. Every time the city Cleveland is mentioned, it makes me yearn for the prequel which would've been called *drum roll* Escape from Cleveland.

All in all, yeah...let's just be fair and declare Escape from L.A. a rip-off remake of the original, but at least, it has plenty of can't-miss Snake moments.

12/21: Escape from L.A. is a bit better this time.

It's a fun movie to watch despite the same exact formula. Born to play the role, Kurt Russell is still perfect as Snake Plissken, but I'm not a fan of the extensive all-star treatment. The original was better for being low key which worked to its favor. The worst part is the special effects which often looks horrible.

When I saw the sequel in 1996, I thought the sight of the Beverly Hills surgeon general was ridiculous. Today, it's prophetic given the spate of botched plastic surgeries among the former A-list celebrities (Kim Novak immediately comes to mind). Like Escape from New York, the ending is still a can't-beat and a great way to finish the film off on a high note which fits Snake's persona.

All in all, Escape from L.A. holds up better today than when it was first released.




Escape from New York (1981)

Rate: 9
Viewed: 11/02, 10/03, 1/05, 6/06, 11/21

Eny
6/06: At the hands of master director John Carpenter, Escape from New York is an ultimate cult film.

It's also a surreal futuristic flick with an all-time badass by the name of Snake Plissken whom Kurt Russell was born to play. He has frequently mentioned that Escape from New York was his favorite of all films he had done and that Snake Plissken was his favorite of all characters he had played.

Epitomizing the definition of "antihero," Snake doesn't give two shits about the mission of saving the President of the United States. He just wants to get the hell out and move on with his life. The persona, the monosyllabic talk, and the getup along with the eye patch make the character of Snake Plissken unique and ultra cool.

Of course, all hell breaks loose in New York City when Snake meets unsavory, eerie-looking characters around the city and starts pissing them off which makes for a fun picture. The premise is also intelligently crafted because there's nothing like it.

All in all, Escape from New York is one of the best John Carpenter pictures.

11/21: A true antihero, Snake Plissken is one of the coolest characters ever conceived in the history of motion pictures.

A unique picture in its own right, Escape from New York is a bona fide John Carpenter classic with a great cast and an interesting storyline. My favorite recurring theme is Snake's reputation preceding him and everybody can't believe they're seeing him in the flesh. It's also comical when Snake insists people he's neutral with to call him "Snake" and people he dislikes to call him "Plissken."

All in all, when Kurt Russell's career will be analyzed in retrospective, Escape from New York is going to be recognized as his magnum opus.




Et Dieu... créa la femme (1956)

Rate: 2
Viewed: 3/09

AndGC
3/09: If there's no nudity or anything salacious in Et Dieu... créa la femme (aka ...And God Created Woman), then where's the controversy?

Nothing seems to happen. Brigitte Bardot teases her way throughout but never takes off her clothes or does anything else interesting. What a crock waste of time.

All in all, the only thing saving Et Dieu... créa la femme is the nice cinematography of Saint-Tropez.




Eternal Sunshine of the
Spotless Mind (2004)

Rate: 1
Viewed: 7/06

Esun
7/06: Whoa!

Did I not see one of the most pretentious films ever? And not to mention how downright bizarre and stupid it was?

The morons involved with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind have aimed to dull my mind with the never-ending bedhopping among the putrid characters.

In my dream, what I will love the most is to go to Sears, buy the most powerful chainsaw there is, find this moron named Elijah Wood, and get the motor running to trim his preppy sideburns and then hack his visceral parts into pieces.

All in all, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind...you're fucking kidding me.




Eureka (1983)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 4/16

Eurek
4/16: Eureka is another typical frustrating Nicolas Roeg picture: all cinematography but no point.

Worse, he goes far enough to screw up an interesting collection of actors. Poorly utilized, Gene Hackman is too talented to be wasted like that. Joe Pesci is useless. Ed Lauter has nothing to work with.

Mickey Rourke is solid but can be better. Theresa Russell isn't bad. Only Rutger Hauer escapes unscathed because he has the most developed character of any. Everybody is an enigma; so, who am I supposed to be rooting for?

Just when things were starting to get better toward the end, the ending is a massive dud with no clear conclusion. Too much time has been spent on the zoom effect, yet it's the sole reason for keeping me awake throughout.

All in all, Eureka needs more substance and character development.




Europa Europa (1990)

Rate: 8
Viewed: 1/08

Euro
1/08: Europa Europa is a good, if bizarre, film about a male survivor's alternative journey during the Holocaust.

Yes, I feel most of what had transpired is unlikely because I keep thinking about Marco Hofschneider's homosexual face and how it can undermine the believability. But I'll accept the tale for what it is.

It's true that Nazis prosecuted homosexuals and then eradicated them not too long after. One thing I'm not sure about is if they made an identification system of homosexuals based on their facial features. Hence, the casting of Marco Hofschneider is puzzling.

Meanwhile, Europa Europa has a weak first half because of the poor editing. Every scene feels like it has gaps, forcing me to make assumptions. After getting past it, the second half is much better, and I'm able to follow Solly's journey as the vision of his goal becomes less blurry.

The story is different from what I've read about the Holocaust experience. It's true that taking an alternative road of survival was based on luck, opportunity, and skill. On the other hand, the acting is superb, the direction is well done, and the setting is wonderfully constructed. However, the movie isn't deep enough given the light emotion shown off by the characters.

All in all, regardless of the negatives, Europa Europa is a fine Holocaust picture.




Evel Knievel (1971)

Rate: 7
Viewed: 3/17

EvelK
3/17: When I think of an American icon, Evel Knievel immediately comes to my mind.

He made something out of nothing, and the opportunity was there for the taking. The most well-known motorcycle stunt of his career took place at Caesars Palace when he jumped over the water fountain. It's such a famous video that saw Evel Knievel's popularity soaring to new heights during his heyday.

How Evel made the event happen was he called all TV stations to tell them what he was planning to do. After they got excited, Evel, acting as a different person each time, phoned the casino owner repeatedly to relay his excitement about the event. After the interest became so great, the owner finally gave Evel his permission to perform the stunt. Now, that's what I'm talking about when it comes to making something out of nothing.

During the 70's, Evel Knievel was a hero to many for his daredevil motorcycle stunts. He got featured in ABC's Wide World of Sports. Seven of its ten highest rated programs are owned by him including the number one when he jumped over fourteen Greyhound buses at King's Island amusement park in Ohio in 1975 and more than 50% of the country tuned in. The number two? It was the Ali-Frazier fight in Manila, Philippines.

Some of Evel's other famous stunts include jumping over eighteen and then nineteen cars in Kent, Washington, in 1970; taking off in a rocket over the Snake River Canyon in 1971; jumping over thirteen single-deck London buses at Wembley Stadium before 90,000 people in 1975; and jumping over a tank that's full of live sharks in 1977.

Over the course of his career, Evel Knievel broke 37 major bones, fractured another 400, and had his hip replaced and liver transplanted. No matter what the extent of his injuries was after a crash, he always came back to do another jump within five months. Amazing.

By the way, when Robert Craig "Bobby" Knievel was arrested for reckless driving in 1956, he was placed in a jail cell with William "Awful" Knofel in a neighboring cell. During a roll call, the night jailer made a wisecrack that "Evel" Knievel and "Awful" Knofel were in the same jail.

Of course, a biopic had to be made about Evel Knievel, and it's entertaining. George Hamilton is the perfect choice, and he's a really funny, charismatic guy. Look no further than Zorro, the Gay Blade. Evel Knievel gets a lot of points for showing Evel's shenanigans, and they're funny and amusing. George Hamilton finishes the film off with a great summary of who Evel is:

"Important people in this country, celebrities like myself—Elvis, Frank Sinatra, John Wayne—we have a responsibility. There are millions of people that look at our lives, and it gives theirs some meaning. People come out from their jobs, most of which are meaningless to them, and they watch me jump twenty cars, maybe get splattered. It means something to them. They jump right alongside of me...they take the bars in their hands, and for one split second, they're all daredevils.

I am the last gladiator in the new Rome. I go into the arena, and I compete against destruction, and I win. And next week, I go out there, and I do it again. And this time—civilization being what it is and all—we have very little choice about our life. The only thing really left to us is a choice about our death. And mine will be...glorious."

All in all, Evel Knievel is a lot of fun to watch, and George Hamilton is fantastic.




Even the Cowgirls Get the Blues (1993)

Rate: 3
Viewed: 3/18

CowBlues
3/18: The best memory I have of Even the Cowgirls Get the Blues is when my mother told me she watched it for ten minutes and immediately turned it off; I asked her why, and she said something about the thumbs.

I didn't bother viewing it until now. After the initial ten minutes, I could quickly see why. She also made a wise decision because the movie never got better and is one of the stupidest I've ever seen in my life.

What the hell was Gus Van Sant thinking? To be fair, he did direct the remake of Psycho which took stupidity to a new level. Van Sant admitted to being upset with the negative critical response of which he didn't see coming. Oh, come on. How could he not? Look at Uma's fucking huge thumbs. Really, look at them!

I don't know who comes up with this crap. The plot is so absurd that it's a sign of somebody needing to be committed right away. If there's anything good to say, it's John Hurt's performance in a drag.

All in all, the sight of Uma Thurman with freakishly gigantic thumbs is the fast death knell of Even the Cowgirls Get the Blues.




The Evening Star (1996)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 3/15

EvSt
3/15: As much as I hate Shirley MacLaine, she gives a good performance in The Evening Star, the sequel to Best Picture Winner Terms of Endearment which netted her an undeserving Oscar win for Best Actress.

However, most of the original cast don't come back. Only Miranda Richardson is a welcome substitute for Lisa Hart Carroll as Patsy who was Emma's best friend. Her character's competition with Aurora is the best part of the film which has nothing much else going for it.

A big mistake is omitting Jeff Daniels from the cast because his character is the father of the family and doesn't come across to me as a bad guy. Bill Paxton's character is a big creep who's too much of an oddball as compared to the likes of Aurora's people. For the most part, he serves as an excuse for Aurora to show off her sexual prowess.

Juliette Lewis is awful and has the worst performance of anybody. Emma's sons are poorly developed and forgettable. There's no sympathy for the one who spent time in prison, and I'm never told why he's there.

Throughout, knowing Jack Nicholson would return, I kept asking myself, "Where's Jack? Where's Jack?" Finally, he shows up, throws in his two cents, and leaves, adding nothing of substance. Ben Johnson, an excellent actor for decades, is wasted in what's the final film of his career before passing away not long afterwards.

The movie should've ended with the scene of Aurora scattering her maid's ashes on the beach because that's as a perfect ending as it can be. Instead, director Robert Harling decides to prolong the stay by showing Aurora's family through the passage of time as she ages and finally dies (good riddance anyway) to illustrate the accomplishment of having a family.

All in all, The Evening Star feels more or less the same as Terms of Endearment, but many characters aren't developed enough for me to care about.




Event Horizon (1997)

Rate: 2
Viewed: 5/24

EHorizon
5/24: Um...what the hell is this?

Director Paul W.S. Anderson has to decide whether he wants to tell a story or focus on special effects. Failing to entertain me on both counts, he manages to turn Event Horizon into a boring clunker that's primarily about gore. In a way, it's a rip-off of Aliens with some Hellraiser stuff, but there are barely any monsters or horror.

Laurence Fishburne is wasting his time here. He's too talented for this rubbish. Sam Neill sure likes doing extremely weird films, huh? The list goes on and on: Possession, In the Mouth of Madness, Victory, and now this.

I thought there were gaps between some scenes given the awkward transitions. Well, it turns out to be correct because there's an original 130-minute cut of the film. Thankfully, it got pared down to 96 minutes to save me from the boredom. The setting takes place in 2047? Yeah, sure...they should make that 3047 because what I had seen isn't remotely possible anytime soon.

All in all, Event Horizon isn't a movie but a masturbation of special effects and gore.




Every Which Way But Loose (1978)

Rate: 9
Viewed: 8/07

EvWW
8/07: Every Which Way But Loose is a one hundred percent pure cult flick.

Sometimes it's comical and sometimes it's serious, but mostly, it's plain good fun. I love the relationship between Clint Eastwood and Clyde the orangutan. At one point, it's interesting when Philo figured out Clyde's problem and had to take the ape to the zoo so he could sow his wild oats.

Sondra Locke once again stars and has a successful performance. She's phenomenal, and she'll always be a great Clint Eastwood actress, regardless of their history. Far away the best performance is given by Ruth Gordon as the mother.

Every Which Way But Loose is littered with many funny scenes, especially when Philo dropped a set of fake teeth in a soup before the snobbish college girl discovered it. What's interesting is the plot doesn't have a clear focus but goes around randomly and finds whatever. That's why the movie can feel off at times, but it's been entertaining. The chemistry among the cast is good, too.

All in all, at some point in the future, I expect Clint Eastwood's pictures will finally be regarded as classics, and Every Which Way But Loose is one of them because it's unique, funny, and off-the-wall.




Everybody Wins (1990)

Rate: 7
Viewed: 7/17

EvWins
7/17: Here's a nice unknown gem: Everybody Wins.

Penned by Arthur Miller, the story is captivating. It's a psychological thriller about a sane man trying to save an innocent person in prison but is forced to deal with mentally ill people on the outside in order to crack the case. Absolutely terrific are the performances. The three standouts are Nick Nolte, Debra Winger, and Will Patton whose character makes for a pretty creepy guy. Kathleen Wilhoite does a good job, too.

Not many people realize this, but Nick Nolte is an underrated actor. No matter how low key a film can be, he can always be counted on to give a genuine human performance. Hence, he's convincing here. In case if you're wondering, a shot of B&B is 1/2 oz of brandy and 1/2 oz of Bénédictine.

All in all, Everybody Wins is a performance-driven picture.




Everybody's All-American (1988)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 1/05, 1/09

EvA
1/09: Everybody's All-American scores well for sentimentality but is a poorly done picture overall.

First of all, what exactly is the supposed message of the film? Don't be a football player? Find another occupation that's worthier? Do a better job of planning out the future?

Not only is Everybody's All-American a football picture, but it is also more than that. To sustain his livelihood, Gavin Grey has to grind it out by playing pro football while his wife gives up her life of a beauty pageant winner by serving as the hostess and caretaker of their estate.

The best part is Dennis Quaid's performance, and he has great football scenes. Then, the film is more haunting as time goes on with his character becoming older and retired until the bonfire celebration is shown which is twenty-five years prior. Again, I'm trying to understand the purpose of the film. What's the meaning of Cake's presence? Is he merely a witness, or is he trying to prove that he's superior to his cousin for making the right decisions?

Anyway, I've never been a fan of college football because of the nauseous sight of rabid fans showing up for a meaningless game involving eighteen- to twenty-year-old boys. What's the significance of such bullshit? College football fans don't care about past history, no matter how long the program has been in existence, but are rather concerned whether or not their team is currently in the championship picture. Most football players don't belong in college while the silly institutions of "higher learning" have always been about money.

All in all, I'm not sympathetic to any of the characters in Everybody's All-American, but it's been sentimental.




Eve's Bayou (1997)

Rate: 4
Viewed: 4/18

EveBayou
4/18: The most appropriate title of Eve's Bayou should be Louisiana's Three Spoiled Black Children.

How annoying the child stars are. They keep ruining the film and have no acting skills to speak of. The apparent lack of story doesn't help, either, making it impossible for me to get through the film in one sitting. Consequently, the snoozefest took me one solid week to finish.

Samuel L. Jackson has a minor, albeit one-dimensional, role, but he plays a lying philander who can't keep his johnson in his pants. His co-star Lynn Whitfield, a one-time Josephine Baker, is too frigid to make a difference; it's impossible to tell what her problem is. The same goes for the rest of the characters who are hyper-melodramatic.

The biggest laughter of the show is Mozelle's clairvoyant abilities. *cough* Right... Running in a close second is the sight of Vondie Curtis-Hall who appears out of nowhere in front of her door with his fake long hair. The only explainable reason for his gratuitous character is that he's the director's husband. Oh, don't get me started with the angry black woman with her white-painted face. There's a male relative in the house, but who the heck is he?!?

The time period is confusing. Does the setting take place during the 30's, or is this the 60's? At any rate, nobody does a good job of portraying either because everything feels like the 90's.

Once again, not much happens. The father dies, and the film takes two hours for him to do so. The rest is a filler with many unbearable stretches of how the family's spoiled black children behave. Perhaps the most interesting moment, which occurs at the end, is when Eve used a stethoscope on her chest and discovered she could hear her own heart beating. That's funny because I didn't think she had any.

All in all, Eve's Bayou is truly Louisiana's Three Spoiled Black Children.




The Evil Dead (1981)

Rate: 8
Viewed: 10/04, 8/06

EvD1
8/06: The Evil Dead is surprisingly a good low-budget horror picture.

It works well despite the minimal story and limited dialogue. The acting is effective but isn't important. I especially like the special effects and the horror scenes. It doesn't waste a lot of time dwelling on the little details but rather gets to the gore part straightaway.

All in all, The Evil Dead belongs on anybody's list of top horror pictures to watch in the dark for the jolly fun of it.




Evil Dead II (1987)

Rate: 9
Viewed: 10/04, 9/06

EvD2
9/06: A better and campier picture than the original, Evil Dead II oozes a lot of special effects in the absence of CGI which makes it all impressive.

It's also an effective horror picture. Although branded as a sequel to The Evil Dead, I consider it to be a remake. The acting is more improved this time around. By the way, I notice Bruce Campbell bears an eerie resemblance to Jim Carrey.

All in all, Evil Dead II is a genuine horror picture.




Evil Has a Face (1996)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 6/13

HFace
6/13: I've trashed Sean Young in the past, but in Evil Has a Face, she's not bad.

I wish the writers would stop repeating the line "Look at the circle, and tell me what do you see" throughout. The first time it was uttered which got interrupted, I thought it was funny. Eventually, it gets played like a broken record.

The most overwhelming negative is the series of law enforcement blunders that are impossible to ignore. The way the FBI agent acted, that's a "wow" right there. I expected more professionalism given the nature of the crime. At least, the local town cop displays it. Then later, who in his right mind thinks it's safe to leave the sketch artist alone in the house? Can anyone be assigned to stay inside the house for the sake of her protection?

After the suspect has been cleared, he eventually breaks into the house and commits felonies while making threats to induce physical harm with a deadly weapon. Then, the cops break in after what it looks like a failed surveillance operation. They all leave and chase after the suspect. At that point, I asked, "Why isn't anyone staying with the sketch artist and the girl?" And nobody bothers with securing the crime scene or confirming the identity of the escaped suspect. I mean, it'll simplify things a lot.

At the end, the director decides to go for an unnecessary romantic ending when the relationship should've stayed strictly professional. However, the story is good, and the mystery is well done although Sean Young's shaking her cigarette is a dead giveaway of what will happen next.

All in all, Evil Has a Face provides plenty of material for a session of Law Enforcement Blunders 101.




Evil Under the Sun (1982)

Rate: 8
Viewed: 1/21

EvilSun
1/21: Marred by bad start, Evil Under the Sun makes a good recovery and finishes well.

The first thirty minutes is awful because there's too much going on at once: the introduction of numerous characters, the poor dialogue, and the outrageous-looking clothes that are full of either glitter or polka dots.

Then, the pace slows down, and everybody acts more normal to let the murder mystery take over. That's when Evil Under the Sun is back to its old self as a true Agatha Christie picture. The cinematography of Spain's Balearic Islands including Majorca (which is also called Mallorca) is amazing.

It may have an all-star treatment, but the cast is of lower quality compared to the first two. I have to say it's annoying to see four returning thespians (Colin Blakely, Denis Quilley, Jane Birkin, and Maggie Smith) play different characters, giving me a hard time to get used to the changes. In terms of Oscars, this one has four wins among fifteen nominations, mostly from the two same people again.

After the dust settles down, it's more fun to watch the show. The mystery is hard to solve, so I never did figure it out. When Hercule Poirot explained how the murder happened, it's ingenious. So, kudos to Anthony Shaffer again for penning a clear screenplay.

Dizzyingly, there are many suspects, and all have the motive to do it. I can't say I feel bad for Arlena who was such a bitch. For a long time, I was expecting her to be killed. At least, Arlena has a racist sense of humor: in response to "It's not right, and it's not fair," she nonchalantly said, "Sounds like a black man's left leg."

As for the cast, everybody is fine. It's the clothes that are distracting. Oddly, they were designed by Anthony Powell who won the Best Costume Design Oscar for Death on the Nile. Initially, Peter Ustinov had me worried because his demeanor changed during the first half-hour. Then, he was back to his usual self. That's when the movie finally worked out. Peter Ustinov is funny during one scene that's related to swimming; he actually designed his own bathing suit.

All in all, now I know all of the characters' names and what's going on, so perhaps Evil Under the Sun will be better the next time I see it.




Excellent Cadavers (1999)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 4/21

ExcCada
4/21: I have read a lot about the Mafia in the United States but nothing in Italy, so Excellent Cadavers does an excellent job of filling me in.

Honestly, I wanted to rate the film higher, but it's too small scale for such a huge topic. Filmed in Palermo and Rome, the paltry running length of 86 minutes isn't helpful. Yet it's a fascinating movie with a documentary feel. There's no question that Giovanni Falcone was a hero.

Chazz Palminteri's acting is terrific, and he puts forth a very sincere effort about the problem of corruption in Italy. It's largely the reason why the developing (not developed, mind you) third-world country can't be taken seriously despite the rich cultural history.

Almost no better than Greece, Italy's economy is, simply put, a disaster. Fascism during WWII, which allowed the rise of Benito Mussolini, didn't do the nation any favors in terms of image. Whatever the problems the country is currently having, I can't sympathize with it. To improve them is to get rid of the corruption, and that begins with the Mafia.

All in all, a bigger budget and a longer running time will improve Excellent Cadavers more.




Exception to the Rule (1997)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 6/13

Except
6/13: Sometimes, it helps not to overanalyze a situation and let the police take care of it.

In Exception to the Rule, what Tim Bayer should've done is getting a lawyer and turning the case over to the cops to catch the extortioner. Tim will benefit from it, but he's going to have to break the news of the affair to his wife. Of course, he should be justified because he has Sean Young for a wife. I mean, it's Sean Young, for Pete's sake.

On the other hand, the more authoritarian Kim Cattrall's character is, the more ridiculous she looks. For a hit(wo)man, she's an amateur. I thought at the beginning she trying to fix the car while under the hood was a dead giveaway which made the whole situation suspicious. Let's be honest: what female does that for real? Also, whenever the light was shining on Kim Cattrall's face, she looks old, suggesting Tim Bayer, because of his youthful appearance, can do a lot better than her character. Ditto for Sean Young.

Given everything William Devane has to work with, he does a nice job of enlivening the scenes. Eric McCormack seems to be well-trained in facial expressions by giving an appropriate reaction for every situation his character might feel, but who are we kidding here? He belongs in the theater. As for the story, there's one twist I never saw coming which left me surprised for a minute.

All in all, Exception to the Rule holds up well for a mystery thriller, but in hindsight, it has flaws.




Excessive Force (1993)

Rate: 3
Viewed: 2/24

ExForce
2/24: I liked Thomas Ian Griffith in The Karate Kid Part III, so Hollywood decided to give him a chance.

They granted him a budget of $13 million to write and star in his own movie called Excessive Force, but it didn't work out, resulting in a paltry box-office take of $1 million. Hence, Thomas Ian Griffith never became the next Steven Seagal. So, what's the problem?

For starters, cutting down the martial arts by at least 95% would've been a good idea. The longer the actor was doing it, the more tired he looked. Action films aren't what Thomas Ian Griffith should be doing; he looks rather suitable for dramas. Worse is the story that had been done to death many times.

In case if you're a bit confused, there were three people who knew about McCain's house away from Chicago, and two of them were dead. By deduction, McCain confronted Jake (James Earl Jones) about it which surprised him. Nobody was aware that Frankie (Tony Todd) was alive even though he got bombed from the floor above.

All in all, Thomas Ian Griffith made a career mistake by turning Excessive Force into a failed pastiche of Above the Law.




The Executioner's Song (1982)

Rate: 9
Viewed: 3/21

ExecSong
3/21: I have now seen the best acting job of Tommy Lee Jones' career.

Because The Executioner's Song was a telefilm, it wasn't eligible for Academy Awards. Therefore, as a consolation, Tommy Lee Jones had to settle for an Emmy win. Had the picture been theatrically released, he would get the Oscar for Best Actor. Forget The Fugitive; that was a silly win.

Turning in a strong performance is Rosanna Arquette as his character's prurient girlfriend. Christine Lahti, Eli Wallach, and Grace Zabriskie are also good. Heightened by Waylon Jennings' music and Freddie Francis' cinematography, the stark realism is duly noted by the ending which is reminiscent of the hanging scene in In Cold Blood. But this time, it's done by a firing squad.

Although based on a true story that's penned by the Pulitzer Prize-winning author Norman Mailer, the film version doesn't fully explore Gary Gilmore's life, only to focus on what happened from getting out of prison after twelve years to the murder of two men that saw him receive the death penalty. He subsequently became the first death row inmate to be executed after a ten-year federal moratorium, having strongly insisted on it.

Honestly, the actual guy looks a lot closer to Martin Sheen than Tommy Lee Jones. However, the latter can play the heck out of the role better. It's due to Tommy Lee Jones' charm which worked wonders on everybody who came his way, hence the strong contention for an Oscar win. Behind his façade is the manipulation that's of the criminal kind, making Gary Gilmore a selfish individual. Here's a fun fact: the origin of Nike's slogan "Just Do It" was came from his last words: "Let's do it."

All in all, you won't see a better performance by Tommy Lee Jones than The Executioner's Song.




Executive Action (1973)

Rate: 8
Viewed: 5/21

ExAction
5/21: Before there was Oliver Stone's JFK, there was Executive Action.

It's a highly interesting, albeit frustrating, picture about the day John F. Kennedy was shot in Dallas and what led to his assassination. This version claims Lee Harvey Oswald had nothing to do it and was merely set up as the fall guy. To this day, nobody, except for those in the inner circle (and many died immediately afterwards), knows what exactly happened, hence the frustration.

Having read about some conspiracy theories, I believe it was a CIA-Mafia joint operation. The main reason is this: to get back at JFK for the chain of three significant events (the Mafia being stabbed in the back when RFK went after them after giving JFK the presidency by stuffing the ballots in Chicago; the loss of Mafia empire in Cuba which included hotels, casinos, and brothels and it was the exporting base of heroin and cocaine into the United States; and the Bay of Pigs fiasco [although plans for it were actually started during Eisenhower's term]). JFK's intention to get the troop out of Vietnam permanently warrants attention because big money was being made in Asia through drugs, most specifically heroin that's cultivated from the opium poppy seeds.

Whatever the answer is, it doesn't matter; the bottom line is: JFK was evil and he deserved to die. His list of criminal activities is lengthy which wasn't reported in the news. Instead, he's exalted as the greatest president of the century, yet it was his looks that made people think of this way. To get the full truth of who JFK really was, you'll have to read Seymour M. Hersh's The Dark Side of Camelot.

JFK cared about civil rights? Ha! He was all talk and no action, voting for nothing of that kind and didn't bring such a bill to the table during his career in Congress. The landmark Civil Rights Act of 1964 was eventually signed into law by LBJ. The real reason why JFK didn't help the blacks out is that he needed the white southern voters to be re-elected. He never sent federal troops to the South to enforce desegregation; hence, the movie Mississippi Burning is a total myth. Foreign affairs dominated JFK's attention as he had the CIA's backing to carry out the assassinations of foreign leaders; however, Fidel Castro wasn't one of them as he left him alone for good.

Back to Executive Action, it's an interesting movie in many ways. There are several details I never knew before such as some of the Secret Service agents were drunk the night before and stayed up too late, the complete layout of the Dealey Plaza and where everybody was situated, and Donald Sutherland originated the project but failed to secure financing and moved on yet made up for it by appearing in JFK.

The acting is good which is meant to be straightforward in a documentary manner. It's why the once-banned film can come off as dull for some. The involvement of Burt Lancaster helps, but the topic is bigger than him. It's Robert Ryan's final film as he died of cancer shortly afterwards.

All in all, like JFK, Executive Action is among the best in the conspiracy theory genre.




Executive Decision (1996)

Rate: 9
Viewed: 4/06, 5/22

ExD
4/06: I appreciate Executive Decision for its low-key style as there are no fancy heroes or villains.

Instead, the film is about realism. It's also a well-done thriller with plenty of suspense. Once again, Kurt Russell delivers and is outstanding by playing a cerebral character. I'm surprised but accept Steven Seagal's abrupt departure which is a rarity in cinema history.

All in all, Executive Decision is a superb action-adventure picture with lots of ups and downs, so kudos to Stuart Baird for his fine direction.

5/22: I was impressed with Executive Decision when I first saw it sixteen years ago, and now, it's even better, prompting me to raise my rating from '8' to '9'.

Yes, the early death of Steven Seagal's character is the most shocking part, but they made a wise choice. It somewhat reminds me of what happened to Janet Leigh in Psycho, but Anthony Perkins did a wonderful job the rest of the way. It's what Kurt Russell and others have done, but Halle Berry is terrible. If John Leguizamo seems to have a lot of screen time, it's probably because of Steven Seagal causing problems on the set, and therefore, he had to be cut out.

Executive Decision may be 133 minutes long, but the editing is so good that time isn't a factor. Mainly, it's about the suspense and what the best course of action should be. In other words, it's a thinking man's picture, Sometimes, the dialogue is hard to follow, but the action is remarkable although the last fifteen minutes is a bit like Die Hard 2. Nonetheless, Stuart Baird should be praised for making the vision possible.

The concept of a plane hooking up with another plane as shown in the film isn't possible. I think it's due to the infeasibility of both aircrafts staying in place for a long period of time. The danger is letting the connection go any minute which can potentially kill people because of the low cabin pressure.

All in all, Executive Decision is an underrated thriller with plenty of strong cinematic elements.




Executive Suite (1954)

Rate: 8
Viewed: 7/15

ExSuite
7/15: Of course, it has to be William Holden who gets the top position, no matter how unlikely the situation is, despite the lack of his qualifications.

Executive Suite is a simple story about a power struggle among execs who are next in line for the CEO position of a furniture manufacturing company. The performances by the all-star cast are outstanding, and everybody is fun to watch.

It's Frederic March's character whom I like the most because a lot of what he said makes sense, demonstrating the grasp of reality. Hence, I thought he was the best man for the job. But William Holden's irresistible charm and handsomeness win out everyone by the end of the day.

The more I get to know Holden's character, the more I realize how unsuitable he is for the CEO position. He's too idealistic as indicated by the speech he gave at the end of the film. I'll love to know which company nowadays is like that because I'm sure that none exists.

All in all, Executive Suite is a rare film that gives a glimpse of business ethics and how a corporation is run.




Existenz (1999)

Rate: 5
Viewed: 7/15

Existenz
7/15: The only way to understand Existenz is to be familiar with David Cronenberg's films, most especially Videodrome, from the early 80's.

Hence, I've been able to connect with the movie and understand the dangers of video games and the internet, but I don't think the premise is executed as well as I hoped for. My gripe with Existenz is, like Videodrome, it's too abstract and far out. So, I wish David Cronenberg would rein in some of his ideas, expand more on what's working, and keep the graphic stuff at bay to simplify things.

Allegra's sexual tendencies are ridiculous and thus undermine the film's credibility. And I'm not buying Ted Pikul's obliviousness of how the game works since he's the PR man for the company. He has to, at least, know the basics of it. I know the movie is about a game within a game within a game (you can tell by Allegra's hairstyle), but it feels too much.

Anyway, I like the concept better than The Matrix, and there are some interesting ideas that got me thinking. Honestly, everything else works fine, making it easy for me to get into the movie. The acting is good, and it's nice to see Jennifer Jason Leigh tackling another challenging character. Jude Law isn't bad. I wish Willem Dafoe had a bigger role.

All in all, resembling too much of Videodrome, Existenz rehashes the same motifs.




Exit in Red (1996)

Rate: 7
Viewed: 6/15

ExitRed
6/15: Exit in Red is a stylish neo-noir that's better than most potboilers of the 40's.

It's the camera work and the use of diagonal lines, voice-over narration, flashbacks, backlighting, dialogue, and setting that highlight the essential traits of such genre. The nonlinear story, which involves double crosses and a femme fatale, help the film push the envelope deeper into the noir territory.

Hence, it's been an excellent job by Yurek Bogayevicz, an unknown Polish director who previously did two films but not much afterwards. I wonder if he thought about shooting the picture in black and white because it could look better this way. Regardless, Yurek should be commended for not letting the thespians bare themselves because he allows the intricate story to do most of the work.

However, there are several problems. The first is the deus ex machina when the psychologist was held at the police station to be interrogated about a murder. It's just hard to believe. Second, Carré Otis seems miscast and isn't correctly utilized as the lawyer. I would've liked to see more strength from her character. Third, Anthony Michael Hall dressing like a sheep (or an alpaca) is too ridiculous. There's no need for it.

Mickey Rourke is good playing the psychologist and is careful about how much he'll reveal himself. Annabel Schofield sells the twist well because I didn't see it coming until I started to connect the gun, the cash touched by Ed who also didn't take a long look at the deceased in the tub, and Nick's strange out-of-the-blue appearance. Speaking of Nick, Anthony Michael Hall surprises me by giving a believable "bad guy" performance. What I like is Ericson Core, the cinematographer, taking advantage of various camera techniques to bring the most out of Anthony Michael Hall's face to highlight his character's villainy.

All in all, it's clear that Yurek Bogayevicz had done his homework because Exit in Red is an underrated neo-noir thriller that's comparable with the films noirs of the 40's.




Exodus (1960)

Rate: 5
Viewed: 5/16

Exodus
5/16: Exodus was going so well until the conclusion of the boating incident.

Then, it became another bland war picture. This time, it's about terrorism, a stance I obviously don't support, to solve problems between Israel and Palestine. Once again, Paul Newman is ordinary. Yes, he's a beautiful specimen who must bare himself to show off his chiseled torso. Paul Newman would later express regret for taking part in the film.

Sal Mineo was awarded an Oscar nomination. What for? He doesn't do anything special except to give a silly, artificial speech about what he did in the Holocaust (yeah, right...we're talking about Sal Freaking Mineo here, the creepy dork from Rebel Without a Cause). Other than that, Sal Mineo is miscast as he looks more Arab than Jewish.

My biggest beef is the already-too-old Eva Marie Saint's Kitty's disgusting ways of doing things. She makes me want to smash her in the face with a heavy saucepan when she decided to take the Jewish girl to America only because she's "white," "blond," "blue-eyed," and "beautiful."

All in all, Mort Sahl's famous rallying cry "Otto, let my people go!" is exactly how I felt after enduring Exodus for three unbelievable hours.




The Exorcist (1973)

Rate: 10
Viewed: 1/04, 9/04, 7/05, 2/06, 1/13

Exo1
7/05: "What an excellent day for an exorcism."

Well, The Exorcist is one of the finest horror films ever made. Many people have put it in the top five of their Best Horror Film List, and you may think that's overrating it. Honestly, they're not.

The Exorcist is a bona fide work of art that represents the best of the horror genre because it's that chilling and eerie. Throughout are many unforgettable scenes including the famous taxi stop at front of the house as seen in the movie poster. Recently, I was in Georgetown to check out the famous steps, and it's scary to be on it because of the steep slope.

Linda Blair's transformation is something else. Her character is so horrifying that she's effective. Jason Miller is phenomenal as Father Damien. Although there are several gaps and a slight misdirection, I'm still impressed by the way William Friedkin set up the complex storytelling while hiding the centerpiece until it's ready to come out at the appropriate time.

All in all, The Exorcist is a must-see horror film.

2/06: The Exorcist is a horrifying picture that's laden with incredible special effects.

The never-seen-before version is more improved than the original, and it contains a better, more kind ending than the previous cut. Two outstanding performances are rendered by Max von Sydow and Jason Miller. Then, there's Linda Blair who's mesmerizing, securing a place in the annals of motion pictures.

All in all, if there must be a film to serve as the benchmark of the horror genre, it's undoubtedly The Exorcist.

1/13: Upping my rating of The Exorcist from '9' to '10', I feel the film has gotten better with repeated viewings, and it's still a horror masterpiece.

The famous Exorcist Steps is located in Georgetown of Washington, D.C., so you cross the Key Bridge and take a left before a quick right where the gas station is at. And there you'll see the steps which is slightly obscured by a tall red brick building. Walking on the steps is an interesting experience that should be tried by everybody because it's part of movie history.

All in all, William Friedkin is a legend.




Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)

Rate: 3
Viewed: 3/14

Exo2
3/14: Richard Burton, Louise Fletcher, James Earl Jones, Paul Henreid, Max von Sydow, and Ned Beatty...all in the same film for Exorcist II: The Heretic.

What the hell happened? After a third of the way, it seemed to go fairly well. The next third would mark the beginning of how bad things were getting. Finally, the last third was when shit hit the fan.

It's hard for me to pinpoint what exactly the problem is. Perhaps it's the locusts, the trip to Ethiopia, the boy doing the lasso thing, Kokumo's inconsequential impact, the sync machine, Richard Burton's deadpan stares, the fancy terrace with almost no fence, or the inane line "The wings are brushing me!" I suppose it's been a combination of them all.

I'm trying to understand the final part when Father Lamont found the infernal Regan lying on her bed inside the famous room in Georgetown. How can there be two Regans when the possessed person is supposed to be the evil spirit within her? By the way, I know the Georgetown area well, but it's inconceivable when the taxi rammed into the crumbling house, there's nobody outside on the street or a dispatched police car right away.

Oh, yes. I want to point out the scene when Richard Burton was rock climbing from the ground to reach the colony up high. How about this...er, forget it. To extinguish a fire, it must require the use of crutches. How brilliant! I shall write this down because I'm learning so much from the movie about how the real world works.

Meanwhile, what is that all about when James Earl Jones' character spit out a tomato ball? Finally, the cynosure of the show: Linda Blair. Sometimes, I think she's letting her breasts do the acting for her as the upper half of her apparel looks purposefully tailor-made this way although she wasn't of legal age yet. Otherwise, it's easy to see why Linda Blair wasn't much of an actress back then.

All in all, Exorcist II: The Heretic isn't one of the worst films made, but it's pretty close.




The Exorcist III (1990)

Rate: 2
Viewed: 8/04, 3/14

Exo3
3/14: It's a surprise George C. Scott, a venerable actor for many decades, had agreed to do this tripe called The Exorcist III.

Was he really that desperate? Prior to his commitment, George C. Scott claimed he hadn't seen the original before. Huh, I find it hard to believe. To his credit, he carries the second sequel mostly on his back by giving a marvelous performance. In fact, strip everything away from the film, and I will still gladly watch it just to see him act.

Although irrelevant, the best part is the carp scene which is amusing and consummate. By the time George C. Scott's character's friend dies, The Exorcist III slowly goes downhill thereafter. The catalyst begins with the appearance of Brad Dourif who's the Marlon Brando of phony acting. That was the end for me. The rest of the way is an incoherent mess although there's a nice scare scene at the hospital.

Notwithstanding, it's been said before William Peter Blatty once laughed during the screening of Exorcist II: The Heretic. As a payback, John Boorman can do the same by deriding his unforgivable directorial crapola. These fucking idiots.

Oddly, The Exorcist III was never originally meant to be a sequel but a separate picture. In hindsight, taking this route is the second biggest mistake. Casting Brad Dourif is the first. The third biggest mistake is the inclusion of Jason Miller. Didn't his character die in the original? Speaking of straitjackets, I can't help but wonder: if Father Damien is going to be bound like that all day quotidian, how is he going to relieve himself or partake of food and drink?

All in all, please...no more The Exorcist sequels for me; enough is enough.




Exotica (1994)

Rate: 4
Viewed: 9/23

Exot
9/23: Falsely marketed as an erotic thriller, Exotica is an empty arthouse picture by Atom Egoyan.

The hypnotic ambience is familiar as felt before in The Adjuster and then later The Sweet Hereafter and Felicia's Journey. When there's clarity, the formula works, but this time, it's too little, too late after the pieces somewhat fall in place.

There are no issues with the performances. It's just that I wish Atom Egoyan was a bit more open here and there. Otherwise, he's a wannabe abstract artist in the mold of David Lynch. The standouts are Bruce Greenwood, Elias Koteas, and Don McKellar. They're the reasons why I wasn't bored. During the filming, Arsinée Khanjian, Atom's wife, was actually pregnant.

All in all, hypnotic or not, Exotica is a silly film about superficial people who pretend to have deep problems.




Extreme Measures (1996)

Rate: 5
Viewed: 6/24

ExMe
6/24: I avoided Extreme Measures for a while because of the similarly titled film: Desperate Measures.

Both are somewhat different. Hugh Grant was doing a very good job during the first half. Then, I started to lose my patience because the mystery had gone on far too long. By the time he's somewhere below the subway, it's when the show lost me for good by turning into a run-of-the-mill medical thriller.

After Teddy Dolson was turned over to expose his back, I figured out the mystery just like that: homeless people were being taken advantage of as lab rats for nerve cell regeneration because nobody would miss them anyway. Then, director Michael Apted went on to set up the cliché philosophical confrontation to invoke questions that I 100% knew were coming.

The more Gene Hackman pointed out the benefits, the more I couldn't help asking this question: "Then why do you need hired killers?" If he wanted to make the scheme work, he should've relocated it to South Dakota or somewhere similar, had the homeless people kidnapped, and done everything in a big, tall black building, and nobody would ever notice what he's doing.

The reunion of Dr. Guy Luthan and his erstwhile boss (Paul Guilfoyle) at the end of the film bothers me. Why would the former be okay with that? The latter fired him without attempting to believe in his innocence. How about a drug test to see if there's any cocaine in Dr. Luthan's system? I thought for a while that his boss was part of the cover-up. Another mistake is the casting of Sarah Jessica Parker; she's one of the worst actresses I've seen.

All in all, Hugh Grant's performance is the best aspect of Extreme Measures, but the film is ultimately ruined by poor direction.




Extremities (1986)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 5/20

Extremi
5/20: In Dangerous Game, James Russo rapes Madonna, and prior to it, he terrorizes and humiliates Farrah Fawcett in Extremities.

Both films are uncomfortable to watch. I kept telling Farrah, "Don't just stand there. Fucking do something." Eventually, she did, but it took a long while. Strangely, Farrah's character, Marjorie, doesn't get to beat him up at her pleasure. She can use deadly force, taking advantage of the castle doctrine, and get away with it without repercussions.

Unfortunately, when Marjorie's two wimpy roommates show up, things take a turn for worse, and they try to talk her out of it. That's when the film started to feel semi-stagy; hence, it's based on a play that's written by William Mastrosimone.

Although I didn't recognize Diana Scarwid for a while because of her brown hair, she isn't the problem, but Alfre Woodard is. I hate her; she plays characters who are either angry or self-righteous, and I'm tired of it. In Extremities, Alfre Woodard tries to make this to be about her, but I was like, "Gee whiz, give it up already."

Farrah Fawcett is good, proving her mettle as a drama actress. I feel bad for her; this must have been what it's like with Ryan O'Neil.

All in all, Extremities isn't believable enough and doesn't provide satisfactory solutions, but Farrah Fawcett's performance is worth watching.




Eye for an Eye (1996)

Rate: 7
Viewed: 1/20

EyeForEye
1/20: Eye for an Eye is a watchable psychological thriller that has more bad points than good.

When Karen McCann's rapist was technically left off the hook in seemingly 48 hours while the crime scene was still fresh because of insufficient DNA evidence, I couldn't believe it because there's no way it would've happened. There's plenty of circumstantial evidence to link him. All the detective and the prosecutors had to do is to work harder.

For starters, the obvious thing to do is to pinpoint Robert Doob's whereabouts given his delivery schedule. Once there, I'm sure he would've left footprints and hair samples, among other things. The daughter wouldn't have died without putting up a struggle, hence the scratch marks on Doob's arms, leaving some blood at the crime scene.

Another fact that's overlooked is the whole thing didn't look like it was the first time for him; Robert Doob knew what he was doing which means he did it before. The next one should put him away because of the same pattern. Karen McCann can be used for a witness because she saw him staking out a house for his next possible victim. It doesn't matter if she was following him. Her actions don't meet the definition of a stalker.

The next part that bothers me slightly, but I'm going to let it go because everybody is different, is how little Karen McCann and her husband grieved for their deceased daughter. They sure moved on quickly, too. It's kind of sour note throughout the film, prompting me to think of The Crossing Guard. For the most part, Eye for an Eye is the female version of Death Wish, but vigilantism is illegal all the same although it's understandable that what Doob did hurts a lot.

As for the acting performances, everybody is fine. Sally Field is passable. Her Places in the Heart co-star, Ed Harris, is strangely relegated to the background, having a small impact. So, why is he in the movie? Playing a James Hetfield look-alike, Kiefer Sutherland probably gives the best performance of his career, and I'm only saying this because he has never been a good actor who's consistently typecast in so many villainous roles.

All in all, Eye for an Eye generates controversy for the handling of the rape-murder case more than anything else.




Eye of the Beholder (1999)

Rate: 4
Viewed: 9/18

EyeBe
9/18: Now I know why I managed to skip Eye of the Beholder for almost two decades.

Damn, it's bad and the kind of film that Brian De Palma could've directed given his fetish for stylish but technically dry photography. This one has no plot to speak of. It's just a random nondescript guy stalking a female who unrealistically gets away with the murders. The ending is as craptacular as it gets.

What's with Ewan McGregor? I don't get his appeal, and he never emotes. Perhaps Ewan McGregor's fans like the sound of his first name? Ashley Judd sucks as an actress, and she's ugly as well. Heavy makeup is what saves her plain-looking face.

The only good performance Ashley Judd gave was in Bug. That's because she had a great actor and a solid director to work with unlike those in Eye of the Beholder. K.D. Lang isn't an actress and thus has no business of appearing in motion pictures. Jason Priestley, aka the hypocritical Brandon Walsh, must be feeling stupid by now.

All in all, the first mistake of Eye of the Beholder is not having a plot to begin with.




Eye of the Needle (1981)

Rate: 6
Viewed: 1/11

EyeN
1/11: Eye of the Needle was grabbing my attention for a while until Donald Sutherland's character got shipwrecked.

Then, the movie fell apart from there on. It became boring because things had slowed down. Finally, when Needle's potential was fully realized, he began acting stupid which ultimately killed him.

I've had a difficult time believing Needle's mistakes because he's too good to make them. Come on, he was a successful spy for Germany and had undertaken more difficult missions during his career. At least, the filmmakers should show respect for his character. Besides, Donald Sutherland's role is a bit too alike to The Eagle Has Landed.

Thinking of how Needle was killed, do I expect to believe the housewife could hit him successfully in three out of six shots? Impossible. Maybe one will hit him by sheer luck of aiming the gun in the right direction. Meanwhile, the cast is perfectly fine, and Kate Nelligan is the standout. Donald Sutherland is great as usual.

Granted, because of the ending, Eye of the Needle is the antithesis of Casablanca. However, I'm not feeling the emotions...the irony of it all. In short, it's not convincing. That's why the movie fell apart. Hence, the blame lies squarely on Richard Marquand for his poor direction and inexperienced handling of the material. At least, I like the location, especially the house that's situated on Storm Island which is actually Isle of Mull, Argyll, and Bute in Scotland. By the way, helicopters weren't used during WWII.

All in all, if Eye of the Needle had a more able director, it would've been a better movie.




Eye See You (2002)

Rate: 5
Viewed: 12/19

EyeSee
12/19: What was shaping to be a vintage Stallone movie, Eye See You ends up being a major disappointment.

To pinpoint the chief cause is the editing job. It's such a mess. Many scenes during the second half don't flow well. First, I looked up to see who did the work, and it's Tim Alverson and Steve Mirkovich. The latter is probably the lead guy while the other is a first-timer. Steve edited films such as Big Trouble in Little China, Prince of Darkness, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Broken Arrow, The Ghost and the Darkness, and Con Air. Well, half of them are terrible.

It's funny that I mentioned a couple of John Carpenter pictures because the more I see the guys who are stationed at D-Tox center in the middle of a huge snowstorm, the more I can't help but think it's The Thing all over again. In fact, Eye See You is exactly the same film but with a cop killer instead of a creature from outer space. There's a bit of Seven going on, too.

The third problem is there are too many characters. It's difficult for me to keep up with them or remember their names. When somebody mentioned Slater, I was like, "Who?" and failed to picture him mentally until he appeared again ten minutes later despite seeing him many times.

On to the positives, well....it's only one. I have to say Sylvester Stallone gave a pretty good acting performance during the first half by going back to how he was during the 80's. But he would lose it afterwards and be eternally blah. I don't know what happened there, but I can't blame him anyway because the material was failing him.

Interestingly, Eye See You was shot in 1999 but got shelved for three years due to the extremely negative initial reviews, causing it to be quietly released into theatres in a limited run despite a budget of $55 million. There were a lot of editing changes in the interim to improve the product more, yet it ultimately didn't work. The internet search for Eye See You is confusing because the original title is D-Tox which sounds stupider.

All in all, if Tom Berenger can't make Eye See You any better, there goes the film.




Eyes of a Stranger (1981)

Rate: 5
Viewed: 10/19

EyeStrange
10/19: Originally conceived as a murder mystery movie, Eyes of a Stranger changed course by latching onto the boom of the slasher genre while being funded by the production team that was behind Friday the 13th.

The story isn't original. Some random nondescript guy with glasses has the taste for serial rape-murders. Why does he do it? I don't know. He just kills people. Fuck 'em, he says, and I'm cool with that. Moving on...

What's unusual is how technically well-shot it is. There are plenty of good horror moments courtesy of Tom Savini, but in between is a lot of boring filler. When the movie first came out, it was heavily censored, but today, the DVD bares all. I have to say the gory details are necessary to give it a bite. The head in the fish tank is great, and so is the bullet hole in the serial killer's forehead.

Save for Jennifer Jason Leigh who makes her screen debut, nobody, not even Lauren Tewes, can act. I'm impressed with Jennifer Jason Leigh's signing, however brief it is, which is 100% correct and clear. So is the blind deaf-mute bit. How and what happened to her when she was a little girl is never fully explained. Nevertheless, there's no question Jennifer Jason Leigh's polished acting skills demonstrated she's far ahead of everybody in the cast.

Most bothered is I am by the awesome coincidence of a female news anchor living practically a tower away from the serial killer given she's covering the story and he just happened to fall into her lap. Bullshit, and not in Miami. Funnily, it's where people were being killed left and right during the drug wars, and I'm sure the serial killing incidents were the least of everybody's worries. Another downer is the reminders. It's been Friday the 13th and Body Double at some points while it's Wait Until Dark toward the end.

All in all, horror fans will like the gory scenes in Eyes of a Stranger while Jennifer Jason Leigh fans will like her performance.




Eyes of an Angel (1991)

Rate: 5
Viewed: 8/21

EyesAngel
8/21: I can see why the release of Eyes of an Angel was delayed in the United States for three years until Pulp Fiction happened because it's baaaaaaaaad!

The plot is as loopy as it can be. A Chicago mob-connected guy wants to get back into the game after the death of his drug-addict wife. He witnesses a dogfight which involves a Doberman Pinscher who loses, is therefore dumped into a freezing river, and survives the ordeal.

Possessing a terrible temper, the guy is mean to his daughter, often treating her as a doormat. To feel better, she befriends the animal, but he doesn't want it. Crazy things happen to him in the meantime. Then, he and his daughter run away by car to Los Angeles while the dog hitchhikes on his own for 2,000 miles to catch up with them. For a minute, her paws are shown badly scarred, but after a night of rest, she's ready to go again.

By the time the father will accept the dog back, he gives his okay to let the animal back into dogfighting although nothing happens and everybody in the audience has a change of heart. A happy ending follows although the dog is never named at any point in the film.

Uh, what prompted John Travolta, who's often at his worst, to do this movie? His career was in a total slump during the 80's, only to be revived by the smash hit Look Who's Talking. He made a huge mistake again by appearing in Eyes of an Angel, but luckily, Pulp Fiction came along and the rest was history. By the way, the girl who plays his daughter is terrible. She did two more pictures, and her career was permanently over afterwards.

All in all, Eyes of an Angel is a rare example of a dog outperforming an established A-list star.




Eyes of Laura Mars (1978)

Rate: 4
Viewed: 2/06

EyeLM
2/06: Eyes of Laura Mars is a ridiculous murder mystery picture.

The filmmakers throw a mix of obvious suspects, and they all get killed. All of a sudden, an improbable surprise appears. Do they expect me to be gullible to believe it? Worse, there's no explanation why.

What a poor job by Faye Dunaway. She's either being herself or opening her eyes as wide as possible to compel me to say, "Oh, yeah...that Faye is a freak." Anyway, what the hell happened to her? She was once a beautiful and capable actress. The decline in the quality of her films, going from Chinatown and Network to Eyes of Laura Mars and Mommie Dearest, is shocking.

Brad Dourif has further emboldened his standing as one of the worst actors ever, but Tommy Lee Jones isn't bad himself.

All in all, Eyes of Laura Mars is best watched with both eyes shut.




Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

Rate: 5
Viewed: 3/06, 4/13

EyeWS
3/06: Stanley Kubrick's final masterpiece Eyes Wide Shut features lavish cinematography and is sensual.

I love the buildup of the conflict and the mysteriousness that surrounds the plot, and the performances rendered by the cast help it to be sexually arousing.

Tom Cruise, once again, is marvelous. He has a gripping moment when his character, Dr. Harford, suddenly found out what happened to the hooker and had a change of heart before going further. Then, the doctor has a moment of truth when he realizes he doesn't belong in the underworld. Hence, the film is best described as man's search of himself through a rude sexual awakening. If not for his idiotic pothead wife, the journey won't have happened.

All in all, Eyes Wide Shut is a fabulous erotic picture that's enriched with masterful direction and tasteful cinematography.

4/13: Sometimes, it's a good idea to rewatch a film when enough time has passed to see if the original judgment still holds.

Unfortunately for Eyes Wide Shut, it doesn't pass the test. I realize now how superficial and boring it is. Stanley Kubrick is famous for making his pictures methodically slow and dead with no feelings. This one is no exception to the rule.

I remember in A Clockwork Orange how women were constantly naked all the time and portrayed as sexual objects. Kubrick would do the same thing for Eyes Wide Shut. Many think of it as a sexy erotic picture, but I find the more naked women are, the more boring it is. Hence, "less is more" can't be any more true in this case. Ironically, Kubrick contacted the master of erotica, Zalman King, yet he still failed.

Although Tom Cruise gives a great pensive performance, it's Nicole Kidman who's the worst. The way her character laughed and thought she's the exalted one makes me want to tell her she's a gold digger and a failed art gallery owner with nothing going for her. In fact, Dr. Harford is better off without her by being with somebody else more deserving because what I've seen out of him is through and through success.

Of course, I can characterize the whole trip as a confusion for the doctor about his standing in the marriage and whether or not it's been a fraud. Ultimately, the film fails to prove a point and instead makes a showy grandiose display of opulence and beautiful interiors.

All in all, Eyes Wide Shut is the last work of Stanley Kubrick's career which pretty much describes his filmmaking style in a nutshell: beautiful, boring, slow, mechanical, unrealistic, and pointless.