C List of Movie Reviews
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C.H.U.D. (1984)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/13
4/13:
What seemed like a good horror mystery story in C.H.U.D. (which stands for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller)
gets undone by the lazy ending.
The film is marked by a series of ups and downs: an acceptable yet implausible story, above average acting, low intelligence,
and enough suspense to keep the pace going. It's the last fifteen minutes, especially the idea of gassing the sewers, that
makes me think of the storm drains. Aren't they impossible to seal off?
That's when I knew the director got lazy as evidenced by the sight of an unsealed storm drain during one scene when
the police captain was gunned down. This same sort of laziness is also manifested by placing the whole mystery on
one guy, Wilson, who's supposedly the head of a company. If they're going to place chemicals inside the sewers of New York
City, I'm sure enough people will see it happening and therefore raise alarms. But the police actually helped out by
covering up the matter which is highly unlikely.
All in all, C.H.U.D. never gets it together and thus fails to be a good horror film, but three actors did cast for
Home Alone, the pinnacle of their careers.
Cabaret (1972)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/17
2/17:
A surprise winner of 1972, Cabaret, which was shot on location in Germany, bested The Godfather at the Academy
Awards by 8 to 3 and remains the film with most Oscars without winning Best Picture.
Liza Minnelli is famous for this movie because of her unique iconic look. Although she's special and hits the
right notes, I'll have to say it was her makeup that did it, but she deserves the Oscar for Best Actress. Her
character is supposed to be less talented.
Even better than Liza Minnelli is Joel Grey. Winning the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, he did the impossible by beating
out Al Pacino, James Caan, and Robert Duvall for The Godfather. I have to agree with the decision
because he's marvelous and unforgettable as the Master of Ceremonies. He did the role for the stage version, too.
Here's a piece of trivia you might not know: Joel Grey, whose name is actually Joel David Katz, is the father of
Jennifer Grey, the very same actress from Dirty Dancing and Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Because of the foreboding invasion of Nazism, the story, however little it is, is haunting and surreal, thanks to the
brilliant Oscar-winning editing by David Bretherton. In many ways, the film reminds me of Kiss of the Spider Woman.
Additionally, the shows are well-choreographed, and the lyrics are catchy.
All in all, setting an example of how a musical should be, Cabaret is considered to be the Zeitgeist film of
Germany's cabaret scene of the 20's and 30's.
Caddyshack (1980)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/03, 12/05
12/05:
Caddyshack is a plain terrible movie.
I can't believe it's been voted among the greatest sports movies ever made. Filled with stupid characters,
there's no story to speak of. The jokes thrown into the turd pool are flat. Really, what's so appealing about
the film?
All in all, crass, tasteless, racist, and unfunny, Caddyshack is overrated.
The Caine Mutiny (1954)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
7/12
7/12:
I once read in Marlon Brando's autobiography Songs My Mother Taught Me that he criticized Humphrey Bogart for his
one-dimensional acting.
Knowing Marlon Brando was always full of it, I must point out the kind of career Humphrey Bogart had. He didn't
start out at the top. It took him over ten solid years of supporting roles to reach the A-level status. At the
same time, quality was written all over his face.
The differences between a master actor and a one-timer are twofold: the consistency to play different characters at a
high level and the ability to transform seemingly ordinary films into classics. That's why Humphrey Bogart set himself
apart from the pack. I have to admit Marlon Brando was never that kind of actor. Sure, he gave good
performances in several films, but he stunk in so many films that were notorious flops in their own right.
As for Humphrey Bogart, he was constantly outstanding by churning out classic pictures one after another. In short, he was
in a league of his own.
Nearing the end of Humphrey Bogart's career, The Caine Mutiny is the proof of his greatness. What a brilliant performance
he gave. Simply put, Humphrey Bogart steals the show. Contrary to what people think, Queeg isn't the villain.
He's just a worn-out officer who has trouble quitting the service while being ahead. Hence, it's Fred MacMurray as
Keefer who's the Iago. I admit I've never liked the actor, but his personality serves the character very well.
Another performance that's as good as Bogart is from José Ferrer. He's brilliant as Greenwald the lawyer, helping to
transform The Caine Mutiny into an intellectual picture that deals with the aftermath of the mutiny.
His drunken words at the end put each of the characters in perspective, giving me an idea the film might be a masterpiece
after all. But I'm going to stop short of giving it a '10' because it's been uneven throughout.
The performances by everyone minus Bogart, Ferrer, and Van Johnson are off, and the stock
footage, which was supplied by the Navy, is lame. Additionally, the romance interlude between Willie Keith and May is
unnecessary, failing to add anything to the overall plot.
All in all, because of Humphrey Bogart's Oscar-nominated performance, The Caine Mutiny is a Navy classic picture.
California Suite (1978)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/16
6/16:
Despite Neil Simon's great writing, California Suite is an uneven comedy picture for the most part.
Some of the best lines are as follows:
"Gorgeous color. The smog. I wonder if they sell it in bottles. It would make a wonderful present for the folks back home."
"Now, we all got whiplash. Okay, honey?"
In response to "Billy boy. How's the new script coming?", "I found all the words in the dictionary. I just have to put 'em
together."
"I'm not the one with the Bobbsey Twin haircut and the Peter Pan phraseology."
"Can we go? I feel like we're playing From Here to Eternity."
"You drank everything in this state. Try Nevada."
There are four parallel threads, and the best is with Michael Caine and Maggie Smith. To be honest
with you, it has been him all along. What a great performance. The way Michael Caine delivered his lines with indifference is priceless.
Maggie Smith was already dying, unable to keep up with him. How didn't he get nominated for an Oscar?
The others, except for Richard Pryor who has his moments, are either average or bad (I'm looking at you, Bill Cosby).
All in all, California Suite is worth watching for the dialogue and, most of all, Michael Caine.
Caligula (1979)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/13
11/13:
Caligula is a trashy sexploitation picture that fails on so many levels, hence its much-deserved disreputation.
Moreover, it's so theatrical, nonsensical, unstructured, and free-going that it no longer resembles a film.
Random scenes are followed by more random scenes, making the whole thing to be a disjointed mess. Any notion of a plot has
gone out of the window.
Of course, none of what's shown is factually true, so I'm instructed to pay more attention to the sex scenes and the parade
of naked men and women. That being said, the Roman emperor was probably used as an excuse to make the picture somewhat
relevant.
However, I admit Malcolm McDowell is perfect as Caligula. Peter O'Toole is fine as
Tiberius, but Helen Mirren is a joke of an actress. By the way, Netflix sucks. Since it was the only way I could see
Caligula with English subtitles, it was heavily edited with all of the X-rated stuff cut out. Why?
All in all, Caligula is a big sexfest mess.
Call Northside 777 (1948)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/08
2/08:
Call Northside 777 is another great one in James Stewart's oeuvre.
There's no doubt that the more films I see, the more I feel James Stewart may have solidified himself as the best
actor ever. It's nice to see Lee J. Cobb to lend a supporting hand. Richard Conte also stars.
I like the story, and there's a human element to it. Henry Hathaway's direction is sleek and fresh. An interesting
trivia is the man who administered the lie detector test is the very inventor himself: Leonard Keeler. You can't do better
than that.
However, I can't label Call Northside 777 as a true film noir. One drawback is it hangs by the thread. When I say
this, the momentum dissipates every time P.J. McNeal runs into a dead end. Of course, luck finds him, and then things pick
up again.
All in all, Call Northside 777 is an entertaining whodunnit mystery thriller.
Calling All Curs (1939)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
Calling All Curs gives a new meaning to the word "suck."
All in all, is it ever going to get better in the future for the Three Stooges?
Camelot (1967)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/16, 5/24
1/16:
Must Camelot be a musical?
And must it be three hours? At any rate, Camelot is an overlong bad picture although it's visually appealing. It
has no story. If there's one, it doesn't make any sense. I'm just taken from a random scene to another with no connection
in between. At least, the jousting scenes are fantastic and well-choreographed, and I like the costumes.
As terrible as everybody is save for David Hemmings, Richard Harris' acting is what got my attention. Sure, his deep eye
shadow can be distracting at times, enough to win a Brando look-alike contest. When it's time for Richard Harris to say
his lines or sing, he can be powerful and moving.
All in all, Camelot might have succeeded if it was much shorter and had a better script.
5/24:
Raising my rating from '4' to '5', Camelot is still too long.
Granted, it's Richard Harris' most famous film, and he's the best thing about it, having fought for the role after Richard
Burton was turned down because of his high salary demand. I got confused before starting the movie because I thought it
was Julie Andrews who played Guinevere, but, despite playing her on Broadway, she declined the role which went to Vanessa
Redgrave, probably due to not getting along with Richard Harris during the filming of Hawaii.
Two bonuses are the costumes and the cinematography; it's wise of the filmmakers to keep them simple to fit the Old English
style.
The biggest trouble, apart from the running length, is that little happens between the monologues or musical numbers.
It's a better idea to insert action to break up the monotony although most of it occurs in the final half-hour. Yeah,
I admit the story is dim-witted and not well-thought-out, but as long as Richard Harris is game for it, it's fine by me.
The next issue is the unconvincing display of love between Guinevere and Lancelot. It would help if Vanessa Redgrave and
Franco Nero had any chemistry, but they just don't. I wonder if David Hemmings would've done a better job with her since
they worked together in Blow-Up. By the way, his role is so short that it should've been
expanded more because of how much energy he brought to the show compared to Vanessa Redgrave and Franco Nero who are simply
flat.
All in all, without Richard Harris, there's no Camelot, period.
The Candidate (1972)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
11/15
11/15:
If you ask me what's the best film I've seen for politics, my answer is The Candidate.
What's brilliant about it, which feels like a documentary, is nothing has changed. In fact, it's the bona fide blueprint
of how to run a successful political campaign. Hence, I won't be surprised if it's the standard reference guide for many
fledgling politicians.
My favorite moment is when Bill McKay, who's marvelously played by Robert Redford, made fun of himself by how he sounded
while riding in the limo. It's also the moment Bill realized he sold his soul during the process.
There are a lot of small moments that are just as priceless such being mobbed by horny women and grabbed by people in
every direction (sometimes, it feels like they were going after Robert Redford, not Bill McKay), having no privacy, sounding
and looking like a complete fake, editing videos for maximum effect, and spouting empty rhetoric (read that as "bullshit").
It's not a surprise the screenplay won an Oscar which was written by Jeremy Larner (the only one of his career).
Yet there should be Oscar nominations for Best Picture, Best Actor (Robert Redford), Best Supporting Actor (Peter Boyle
and Don Porter who's perfect as Crocker Jarmon), and Best Director (Michael Ritchie).
All in all, The Candidate explains why politics has always been full of shit.
Candy (1968)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/24
1/24:
Advertised as a sex-farce comedy, Candy is rapeloitation.
Ewa Aulin plays a stupid character who's manipulated by men behind the scenes to make her appear as a willing participant
with dopey eyes. Although the look of the film is creative, the script makes no sense. If you listen to Richard
Burton's recitation of a poem, it sounds exactly like the rubbish from Under Milk Wood,
a disaster-of-all-sorts film he would make a few years later.
The list of luminaries involved with this dreadful production is staggering: Richard Burton, Ringo Starr, Walter Matthau,
James Coburn, John Huston, and Marlon Brando. All should be embarrassed of themselves. Brando said Candy was the
worst movie he did. His excuse is not good enough. He had everything to do with it by bringing in the much-needed financing
and therefore everybody else on board. It doesn't take more than a couple of brain cells to figure out what's going on by
reading a bit of the script beforehand.
All in all, anyone who thought Candy was great and funny is a full-blown moron.
Candyman (1992)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/03, 9/08, 3/19
9/08:
Candyman is a slick horror thriller with some of the most hypnotizing scenes.
If there's anything to watch, it's Virginia Madsen's mesmerizing performance that makes the biggest difference in the
storytelling. She's strong, assertive, beautiful, and sensual as Helen Lyle. Reportedly to be the favorite role of his career,
Tony Todd is effective as Candyman. Whenever he appears in a scene, he's bone-chilling.
What I appreciate is the intricateness which is innovative and different in a neo-noir manner. That's why I've continued
to revisit the film over the years since it first came out. Impressive is the scene of Virginia Madsen and Tony Todd
being covered with bees; I can't imagine how they endured the constant tickling.
All in all, Candyman has a well-constructed story with plenty of suspense to boot.
3/19:
Candyman is an underrated horror film.
The way the editing is, it easily sucks me in. When I first saw the film in 1992, I knew the beautiful-looking
Virginia Madsen had the goods and was destined to be an Oscar-winning actress. Playing Candyman, it's Tony Todd's finest hour
in acting.
According to IMDb: "The bees were bred specifically for this movie. They needed to make sure that the bees were only twelve
hours old, so that they looked like mature bees, but their stinger wouldn't be powerful enough to do any real damage." Tony
Todd was stung over twenty times and had bees inside his mouth while Virginia Madsen, who's allergic to bees, was
covered by them.
All in all, all you have to do is say it five times: "Candyman, Candyman, Candyman...," but if you won't, it means
the film worked.
Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh (1995)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/15
5/15:
A sequel to Clive Barker's horror classic, Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh borrows a lot from the original but gets
points for explaining the origin of Candyman.
Tony Todd is mesmerizing, chilling, and effective as the villain and has good lines, and he'll always be Candyman.
His death scene gives me a new perspective of why he kills people, and I have to say I don't blame him.
Kelly Rowan obviously saw the original, deciding to go with the idea of copying Virginia Madsen's facial expressions
although I wouldn't say she was terrible. She does what she can do to get the show moving.
A lot of effort is put into the film, and the production values are consistently high. It has enough energy to
keep me interested, thanks to the good story. However, it can benefit more from incorporating different shots of New
Orleans to obtain The Big Easy flavor.
All in all, Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh is a decent sequel, but the original remains unmatched.
The Cannonball Run (1981)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/06
1/06:
Because of the all-star cast, The Cannonball Run promises entertainment but fails to deliver.
Worse, it has left me bored to tears. There are many pointless scenes, but I admit the doctor did crack me up.
But as far as the rest goes, it's stupid. I wish the rules were explained to me, so I can see the point of
the race. But instead, the filmmakers have decided to push Farrah Fawcett's tits close to my eyes.
Cover three-thousand miles in thirty-two hours? It's probable, but it'll require a lot of planning, luck, and straight
driving with no breaks. Of course, things are made too easy for all drivers to be there on time which
would predictably become a footrace toward the end.
All in all, The Cannonball Run should be cannonballed out of the world.
Can't Hardly Wait (1998)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/08, 1/22
12/08:
I guess I don't have to tell you the first two words of Can't Hardly Wait is grammatically incorrect because it
invokes a double negative.
That being said, it serves as a warning of what's to come because the movie is a straight-up rip-off of
Dazed and Confused and American Graffiti all rolled into one.
Not much of a comedy, it's embarrassing and cheesy like the sight of Seth Green. The film actually
falls under the category of "so bad and stupid that it's pitifully funny." All characters are superficial and shallow losers,
and I can't say I give a fuck about them or their problems.
Take Jennifer Love Hewitt's character. What's so damned special about her? The way she talks sounds like an uneducated person
with zero credibility. And the loser alpha male fell for her? Boy, he'll make a great frat boy with a full-blown drinking
problem. Speaking of that, I've enjoyed Jerry O'Connell's performance as Trip McNeely.
All in all, there should be a film about Trip McNeely that centers around his fall from grace.
1/22:
Corny as hell, Can't Hardly Wait is energetic in an American Graffiti way.
When I look at Preston's eyes, I think of the creepy Emilio Estevez lusting after Dale Biberman in St. Elmo's Fire.
Seth Green, oh my goodness...forget it. Many characters remind me of the people that I knew either in high school or college.
Yep, it's the same exact personality.
My favorite is Trip McNeely who appeared out of the blue as the burned-out frat brother. The scene may take a minute or
two, but Jerry O'Connell is effective. If you read the symbols on his shirt, they spell out D I K for Delta Iota
Kappa. The funniest part is when Mike Dexter was left alone with the crowd and somebody yelled, "fag," causing the room to
erupt in laughter.
Speaking of the cast, I noticed in the closing credits that several thespians' went missing. They're Jerry O'Connell, Jenna
Elfman, and Breckin Meyer. It's weird to see Reni Santoni in a tiny, throwaway role. One of the girlfriends is played by Jaime
Pressly. I don't think one is going to find somebody prettier than her in college. Unusual is Amanda Beckett doing nothing much
at the party; for the most popular girl, she just stands or sits on the sofa.
All in all, one can say Can't Hardly Wait is a bad film, but it's catchy with well-developed characters and
quirky moments.
Cape Fear (1962)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/06
5/06:
Now, I can see why Cape Fear was remade.
The 1962 version has good pace and is nice-looking but is boring to sit through. Although the premise is interesting,
it lacks suspense. Although Dirty Harry has been proclaimed to be the earliest known film that's concerned with the
rights of a criminal, Cape Fear actually got there first.
Robert Mitchum seems to find his fit as Max Cady. However, Robert De Niro's rendition is so much better. As usual, Gregory
Peck is stiff as the worried father/husband. I wasn't sure if he cared.
All in all, I prefer the 1991 version of Cape Fear over the original.
Cape Fear (1991)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/06, 2/13
6/06:
Martin Scorsese's version of Cape Fear is much more thrilling and suspenseful than the original.
All it does is concentrate on two aspects: style and acting. For every wrong in the 1962 version, it's been corrected in
the remake. There's an excellent use of manipulation by forcing me to care about Bowden's family.
Martin Scorsese has established himself as an aesthetic filmmaker, a true auteur, because of how he envisions a movie to
give the audience what they want. I'm glad he didn't plagiarize much from the original but rather
remake it from a new perspective while giving it plenty of movie moments.
The performances are uniformly excellent. Robert De Niro is effective and chilling as Max Cady. Juliette Lewis
embodies the look of an innocent teenage girl. Nick Nolte does everything that Gregory Peck couldn't do. A terrific scene is
when Robert De Niro and Juliette Lewis were alone in the auditorium. It's why she was rewarded with an Oscar nomination for
Best Supporting Actress.
All in all, all the credit goes to Martin Scorsese for transforming a bland movie into a taut thriller for Cape Fear.
2/13:
Robert De Niro is at his villainous best in Cape Fear.
He's the reason why I love to revisit the film from time to time.
All in all, the remake of Cape Fear blows the original out of the water.
Captain Ron (1992)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/14
8/14:
I haven't seen a comedy in a long time that made me laugh so much.
Hence, Captain Ron is the latest to do it with lots of wonderful, zany moments. What a treat it's been, thanks to Kurt
Russell's spontaneity. His eye patch is a homage to his Snake Plissken character. The idea of family sailing together for
bonding purpose is nice.
Martin Short is also funny. Not many people are quick to realize how good he is in comedies, but he does it well. Hard to
believe, Mary Kay Place looks unrecognizable in comparison to The Big Chill. I like the kids which is a rare statement
coming from me.
All in all, Kurt Russell gets the full credit in making the comedy come alive in Captain Ron.
Captives (1994)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/17, 10/20
8/17:
In Captives, a pretty supermodel-like female dentist works at a prison and falls hard for a convicted murderer of his
wife.
Uh...right. Mind telling me what goes through that batty brain of hers? And what positive outcomes, if there are any, can be
derived from this situation? However, I'll forgive Rachel since she's been emotionally vulnerable in the wake of her broken
marriage.
Playing a character who likes to kick men on their balls many times over, Tim Roth single-handedly steals the film with his
eyes. The next picture would see him win an Academy Award nomination for giving the best performance of his career in
Rob Roy.
Julia Ormond is okay, but the story is stupid all around. Notwithstanding her apparent beauty, she
stayed in the limelight for one more year by appearing in Legends of the Fall, First Knight, and
Sabrina, and then disappeared for good.
All in all, Captives relies greatly on the chemistry between Tim Roth and Julia Ormond to make the harebrained plot work.
10/20:
Prison romance between inmate and staff is a big no-no, but Captives wants to go down this route anyway.
However I'm supposed to feel about the issue is washed away by the electrifying chemistry between Tim Roth and Julia Ormond.
Sure, there's a plot, and they predictably get into trouble, but who cares? These two are perfect for each other, and that's
all it matters.
Well known for appearing in Legends of the Fall, First Knight, and Sabrina, Julia Ormond is
effective like never before in Captives, and she's beautiful. Then again, what's somebody like her working in a
prison? Equipped with alluring eyes, Tim Roth can steal the film in his own quiet way by surprising me in terms of how good of an
actor he is. I have to say Captives is 80% Tim Roth; if not for him, it's tough to envision it working out, and
his co-star would've been stuck with a weak life preserver.
All in all, because of Tim Roth and Julia Ormond, Captives should be re-titled as Captivating.
Caravaggio (1986)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/17
11/17:
Knowing for years that Caravaggio had good reviews, I wasn't able to find a DVD copy until now.
Afterwards, all I can think of is: "Were these people high or what?" Although a nice-looking movie, it
has no content to speak of. I barely learned anything about the artist himself.
At one point, it's been confusing to decide if Nigel Terry and Dexter Fletcher (the young Mick Jagger look-alike
from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels) were playing the same character. Worse is trying to determine whether or not
Caravaggio lived in the 16th century due to the sight of modern technology such as a typewriter, an automobile, and a train.
The acting and the writing are fine, but I might have enjoyed the movie more if it had substance. Instead, the entire thing
takes place in one room to, I guess, save money. By the way, it's nice to see Sean Bean in a debuting role. I didn't know he went
that far back in spite of being known in 1992 when he appeared in Patriot Games. At any rate, I have to say Sean
Bean was handsome during the 80's.
All in all, experimental, ambitious, and complex, Caravaggio is disappointing.
Carbon Copy (1981)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
9/14
9/14:
Carbon Copy is one of the most racially offensive movies made.
Before asking why Denzel Washington agreed to appear in it, you must understand his career was at the nascent stage. He
had to take the role in order to move up the ladder before he would become Denzel Washington as we know him today. So far,
he won't talk about this film.
What's surprising is the year it was made in. I thought Hollywood was wise enough to
move past that point. Worse yet, it was directed by a black director. Didn't he have the foresight it was a terrible racist
piece of work? Shame on everybody, especially George Segal, for taking part in this.
All in all, Carbon Copy isn't funny.
The Cardinal (1963)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/14
5/14:
Disappointing, aimless, or hypocritical?
All of the aforementioned adjectives fit The Cardinal. I expected more from Otto Preminger who
was responsible for directing The Man with the Golden Arm and Anatomy of a Murder, but then again, he did do
In Harm's Way, which is a big facepalm, a couple years after this film.
How pitiful is John Huston, who's mesmerizing whenever he appears, has roughly five minutes of screen time. The scene
of him visiting Burgess Meredith is best part, hence the Academy Award nomination. Perhaps John Huston didn't
believe enough in the material to stay any longer.
Tom Tryon gives a decent, but not outstanding, performance as Stephen Fermoyle. In many ways, it feels like I'm
witnessing the priestly rise of Michael Corleone to the Godfather position. However, The Cardinal portrays none of the
merits that makes his ascension worthy. In fact, it's been a promotion after another for who knows what
reasons apart from his skillful display of various languages and politics.
I guess, in order to effect changes, it has to be brought on by somebody from the higher up such as bishop, cardinal,
nuncio, etc. So, if that's how faith works, then I feel sorry for everybody involved. Hence, it's clear that
moneymaking ability is of the utmost importance in order to be in good graces of the Church and, above all, the Lord.
The Cardinal has good pace, but I've ultimately decided it had gone too long by the time Annemarie did her "woe
is me" spiel. Worse, it's pointless, resolving nothing much. Many scenes don't tie up very well; there are
disjointed key events with Fermoyle being there as witness which are nothing new. Today, the Roman Catholic Church
is a gigantic joke, falling into a long decline since Martin Luther's posting of The Ninety-Five Theses.
Other religions are not immune to the same fate, either.
All in all, The Cardinal suffers greatly from Otto Preminger's weak direction.
The Carey Treatment (1972)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/21
2/21:
Not exactly The Hospital, The Carey Treatment is a fun 70's murder mystery thriller with doctors involved.
It's an interesting change of scenery for Blake Edwards who was more into romance with witty writing. However, the
movie was edited so badly that it's not close to what he envisioned. Blake Edwards would eventually do a
satirical picture called S.O.B. about his experience working on The Carey Treatment.
A lot of times, I was thinking of Coma but didn't realize until the end Michael Crichton (credited as Jeffery
Hudson in the film which wasn't revealed until decades later) penned the story. What's nice is it moves at a brisk pace.
The winner is James Coburn who has great style: mellow and easygoing. He's also the perfect actor to embody the 70's.
Of course, James Coburn needs a hip girl, and it's Jennifer O'Neill who supplies it in heavy dose. The best part is
when his character gave a frightened girl the Carey treatment by driving recklessly fast to get answers which is reminiscent
of Alec Baldwin doing the same to Demi Moore in The Juror.
The trouble with the film is it's low in substance. Moreover, the scheme is far-fetched. One has to be a genius to come
up with something like that. At least, a nasty villain is provided by Michael Blodgett as Roger Hudson. The massage scene
between him and Coburn is high in tension.
All in all, The Carey Treatment isn't bad, having been saved by the ever-charismatic James Coburn.
A Caribbean Mystery (1983)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/15
7/15:
A Caribbean Mystery is like any typical murder mystery movie: create a list of suspects, keep me in the
dark for as long as possible, throw in a lot of red herrings to confuse them, and wait until the very last minute to
solve the mystery with a detailed explanation of who, how, why, when, and with what.
Truman Capote's character said it the best in Murder by Death: "You've tricked and fooled your readers for years.
You've tortured us all with surprise endings that made no sense. You've introduced characters in the last five pages that
were never in the book before. You've withheld clues and information that made it impossible for us to guess who did it."
In other words, it's no fun to watch A Caribbean Mystery.
All in all, memo to Hollywood: when doing a murder mystery movie, be sure to throw a bone or two, so I can feel
involved in solving the case.
Carlito's Way (1993)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
3/08, 6/17, 7/20
3/08:
Directed by Brian De Palma, Carlito's Way is the tamed version of Scarface which also starred Al Pacino.
The story, which was penned by New York State Supreme Court justice, is interesting and gets better by the minute.
Al Pacino, who's finally calm and never screaming, and Sean Penn are mesmerizing. There's a nice lineup of strong supporting
performances that help it to be an effective gangster drama.
The ending takes place at the train station. Although I've seen this already in The Untouchables,
the execution is crisp and well-done. But the introduction is unnecessary as it gives away the ending.
All in all, Carlito's Way is not exactly Goodfellas, but Al Pacino makes this one worth it.
6/17:
What sets Brian De Palma apart from nearly all directors is his alluring visionary style that's unlike anything I've seen.
The Odessa Steps scene in The Untouchables is a good example. Another is the opening sequence in
Snake Eyes. If you can't get enough, then I recommend Carlito's Way which is maybe the apogee of De Palma's
artistic vision. Yes, it seems to be another Scarface, but this one is much better, more refined, and more mature.
If it was directed by anybody else, the story of Carlito Brigante would've been ordinary, lacking any tension. Where
Brian De Palma succeeds the most is taking advantage of editing as the fourth dimension to transform the
film into a work of art. The last twenty minutes is a perfect example of what I mean.
Fresh off from the mostly-undeserving Oscar win for Scent of a Woman, Al Pacino may have turned in the best performance
of the decade as Carlito Brigante, an extremely likable Puerto Rican ex-gangster who's set in reforming his ways but can't
turn his back on code of honor. It's why the following line by Michael Corleone in The Godfather Part III is
perfect: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in."
Based on New York State Supreme Court justice Edwin Torres' book After Hours, David Koepp's script is well-written
and full of subtleties about the street life in El Barrio. If you pay attention to what Carlito sees, you can predict what
he's thinking and planning to do. Hence, Carlito's Way is an intelligently crafted picture.
Brian De Palma's gift lies in scene construction that's like nothing I've seen before: a careful set-up of the
players as they take their time, giving me an ominous feeling that something big will go down. It's what he did early
on when Carlito was at the club, thinking of all the angles, which led to the long chase that ended at the train station.
Even better is the chilling ending as Benny Blanco from the Bronx is running alongside Carlito, who's happily waving at his
girlfriend, and turns around to shoot him to death. A neat thing about it, which comes in full circle, is I
forgot about the beginning of the film. It's because the story is absorbing.
Anyway, the performances are outstanding. I may have been harsh on Sean Penn and John Leguizamo in
the past, but they're brilliant. Above all, Al Pacino is in top form.
All in all, there are so many things to like about Carlito's Way that it's easy to revisit the film from time
to time.
7/20:
There are three films that rank high in Brian De Palma's oeuvre, and they are: The Untouchables,
Mission: Impossible, and Carlito's Way.
What they all have in common is exquisite photography, strong acting, and a climax that's either on the train or at the train
station. Despite the film being too long, the last twenty-minute crescendo leading to the surprise death of Brigante Carlito
is riveting. I can't recall Al Pacino giving a bad performance; he's always mesmerizing in every film, playing
a different character each time with nothing but straight acting. That's the case here.
I usually think of Sean Penn as a fake actor, but he can be good in some films. In Carlito's Way, Sean Penn gives
the performance of his career, and he's something else as a crooked lawyer with no principles. His hair is a
nice touch. John Leguizamo is perfect as Benny Blanco from the Bronx, and Penelope Ann Miller doesn't get enough credit for
helping to make the story work. Ironically, Al Pacino said in The Godfather Part III, "Just when I thought I was
out, they pull me back in." It's exactly what the movie is all about. Unfortunately, the biggest mistake is spoiling the
ending during the opening credits.
All in all, Carlito's Way is a well-crafted, entrancing neo-noir with Al Pacino and Sean Penn at their best.
Carlito's Way: Rise to Power (2005)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
10/08
10/08:
Although I was impressed with the original, I didn't think Carlito's Way: Rise to Power had to be made.
Well, my assessment turns out to be correct. The sequel, which pretends to be a prequel, is okay, just slightly below
average. It's not boring, but I didn't care about what's going on. Just because the characters wear 70's clothes and drive
70's cars doesn't change the fact how obvious the whole thing takes place in the 21st century. The dialogue isn't
up to the standard, either.
The performances range from corny to all right, but they're nothing special. Sean "Puffy" (Piffy, Diffy, Diddy, whatever
the hell his nickname is these days) Combs should never be permitted to act again. He flat-out stinks. I remember Luis
Guzmán was in the original, but I was trying to remember how he was connected until I learned later he's
playing a totally different character. Way to go, fellas, for confusing the hell out of me.
The first film started out with Carlito giving a big speech in court, but Carlito's Way: Rise to Power doesn't end
there. Rather, it shows paradise for him; so, what happened in between? Is paradise not enough? Even worse, all characters
from the original don't appear in the sequel.
All in all, Carlito's Way: Rise to Power is a disappointment and should be disqualified for being labeled as
a prequel.
Carnal Knowledge (1971)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/14, 3/23
2/14:
Mike Nichols directed Carnal Knowledge.
I've long considered him to be one of the best directors and liked his films because they're fresh that's filled with
witty dialogue, even after many years. In short, his pictures have stood the test of time.
Although I find the introduction funny, I've been disturbed in the long run by the increasingly objectionable content
when it comes to the reduction of women to nothing more than trophies via sex conquests. The moral is perfectly summarized
during the picture show when Jonathan, who's played wonderfully well by Jack Nicholson, gave his final review for each women
based on her sexual proficiency.
Basically, Carnal Knowledge is about the abyss of emptiness as the two men sink deeper in their destructive womanizing
ways. Hence, it's a daring, polemical picture for dealing with the objectification of women, wife swapping, brazen womanizing,
and colloquial myopic view of women. It reminds me of Alfie with Michael Caine. By the way, the answer to
the Seinfeld question in reference to Candice Bergen is: "No, she did not."
All in all, Carnal Knowledge is among Mike Nichols' best pictures.
3/23:
The quality is there in Carnal Knowledge, but the script makes no sense.
Mike Nichols was capable of getting best acting from the cast for many films. Just think of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?,
Silkwood, Wolf, and Primary Colors. Carnal Knowledge is no exception. Jack Nicholson is,
of course, the man, and he steals the show, no matter how distasteful the subject matter is.
However, the dialogue is poor. Yes, it sounds quality, but the words don't come together fluidly to describe what's going on.
Take Bobbie filling Jack Nicholson's character with angst. He's sick of her, but how exactly? Whenever he tries to explain, I
still don't get it. The situation was more clear in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? despite everybody being drunk.
The other issue is I can't help comparing Carnal Knowledge to Alfie. Both are same type of films. Yet
Bill Naughton's writing was so brilliant that it literally made Michael Caine an international superstar. The point has been
made, and the topic isn't funny: the sexual degradation of females.
All in all, Carnal Knowledge's chief downfall is the weak screenplay.
Carnival of Souls (1962)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/05, 5/05, 11/07
4/05:
Prior to seeing Carnival of Souls, I was expecting a thrilling horror movie.
It turns out to be abstract in the soporific manner. There's a link between the story and Henry James'
The Turn of the Screw which somewhat voids the originality. Sidney Berger gives a delicious performance as John Linden,
the neighbor creep who badgers Candace Hilligoss' character.
All in all, Carnival of Souls puts me to sleep.
5/05:
Made for $30,000, Carnival of Souls is still a slow picture to sit through, putting me to sleep many times.
There isn't much of a story. Sidney Berger is superb once again. The colorization isn't bad and helps the pace a bit more.
All in all, if I want a good night's sleep, Carnival of Souls would be my first choice.
11/07:
Once again, Carnival of Souls is still not a good picture.
It moves slowly because there's no plot along with the poor acting. My opinion of Sidney Berger's performance is now
changed as he's incessantly annoying. By the looks of the film, Herk Harvey gets a lot of credit
for shooting it on a shoestring budget.
All in all, Carnival of Souls is lackluster.
Carolina Skeletons (1991)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/21
6/21:
Made-for-TV or not, Carolina Skeletons is an intriguing film because of the storyline.
The premise is partly based on the case of George Stinney, a 14-year-old black boy who was the youngest person ever to be
electrocuted in the United States for the murder of two white girls in Alcolu, South Carolina. Although guilty of what he did,
Stinney was deprived of many rights to a fair trial before being sent to the electric chair so quickly. Eventually, his
conviction was vacated on technicalities. Like it matters anymore, he's been dead for over seven decades.
This is where things are different in Carolina Skeletons, making for a compelling murder mystery. The acting
by Louis Gossett, Jr., and Bruce Dern goes a long way to sustain my interest. Of course, there's a revelation at the end that'll
turn the tables.
The trouble is the filmmakers want me to believe the setting takes place during the 60's when it feels like present
day, namely the 90's. For a very dark-skinned male, some of James Bragg's behaviors are hard to swallow, especially in
the deep South. Therefore, In the Heat of the Night is more believable.
All in all, Carolina Skeletons is a case of righting racial injustice, and remember: it's only a story but not
exactly what happened to George Stinney.
Carrie (1976)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/08
5/08:
Carrie has been universally touted as a classic horror film, but honestly, I'll say it's more of a drama piece with
some supernatural elements.
Yes, I love the buildup, which is adroitly done, right from the start until the "moment" begins. Yet the editing
leaves me feeling cheated because the pivotal scene is so short. After it happens, then the next thing I know is Carrie
walks out of the gymnasium and goes on the road where she avoids a car by using her telekinetic powers. The rest of the way
doesn't help, either.
If I had to redo the film, I would've prolonged the moment for a bit while and then end it right there. That's it.
Why ruin a good thing? Hence, Carrie becomes the ultimate revenge flick.
Playing the eponymous character, Sissy Spacek gives a nice, soft performance, but she should've had more screen time. I like
William Katt as Tommy Ross. He's gentle. Piper Laurie, as Carrie's mother, isn't bad, but I would've preferred
Faye Dunaway like how she did with Joan Crawford to make it more believable. It's weird to see John Travolta because he acts
like himself the entire time.
All in all, although I never went to my high school prom, Carrie makes up for it.
Casablanca (1942)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
11/02, 11/03, 3/05, 4/06
4/06:
You'll find Casablanca at the top of my Best Films List because it's, without question, the best movie made.
It's perfect, perfect, perfect every step of the way, a bona fide film noir picture. A lot of people, including
the critics, still don't get this. Those who dismiss that label have no idea of what they're
talking about. Some have debated whether it's the script or the acting that makes the film. To me, it's been both.
Nobody has been better: Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Claude Rains, and Paul Henreid. The first three
should've won Oscars for their timeless performances, and they'll always have a place in cinema history. It's
also one of the most quotable movies of all time with some of the best lines ever written:
"The Germans wore gray, you wore blue."
"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine."
"You ran guns to Ethiopia."
"Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake."
"We'll always have Paris."
"Here's looking at you kid."
"Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." (the most misquoted line of all time)
"I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!"
"Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time."
"I stick my neck out for nobody."
"Round up the usual suspects."
"I'm only a poor corrupt official."
In response to "Are you sure this place is honest?", "Honest? As honest as the day is long!"
"Perhaps you have already observed that, in Casablanca, human life is cheap."
"Play it, Sam. Play 'As Time Goes By.'"
All in all, movies come and go, but there will be only one Casablanca.
The Case of the
Hillside Stranglers (1989)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/15, 6/22
3/15:
The Hillside Stranglers case is among top five in the annals of serial killers.
There are fascinating elements about it that fall in line with the dominant-submissive relationship theory. Additionally, as
demonstrated in the telefilm, there's the pursuit of getting high again after a kill. Some reviewers have complained about
the detective getting in the way too much, but I find this angle interesting because of the toll on his family life despite
the need to catch the serial killers which makes the detective a true hero.
However, Richard Crenna is okay as Bob Grogan, but my respect for him did increase over time. Billy Zane is
perfect, and I love his trance-like happy-go-lucky persona. But it's Dennis Farina who's both mesmerizing
and chilling. He's smooth, manipulative, and charming rolled into one; it's a great performance out of him. The scene
with his character and J.D. at the Auto Upholstery Shop is good and scary.
Billy Zane and Dennis Farina have done a good job of portraying the real-life serial killers by capturing
their true personalities, so I'm impressed. Even more is the details of the case which are more or less consistent with what
actually happened. The hypnosis stuff is neat to watch with the psychologist explaining how he had come to the conclusion
of Kenneth Bianchi failing the test.
All in all, The Case of the Hillside Stranglers may come off as an uneven picture, but it's the performances that
ultimately win me over.
6/22:
The biggest trouble with The Case of the Hillside Stranglers is Richard Crenna.
He's one of the most mediocre actors I've ever seen. Whenever the focus is on him, it's been blah, putting a damper on
the momentum. Hence, the saving graces are Dennis Farina and Billy Zane. The former can cut through ice by his menacing
stare while the latter is good at being dopey.
Of course, The Case of the Hillside Stranglers is a telefilm which means they aren't going to reveal much of
the gruesome details. But it's better than Manhunt: Search for the Night Stalker which was about Richard Ramirez.
Both were subjects of the most notorious serial killers in Los Angeles history. A link between these two is Frank Salerno,
the chief investigator from the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department who worked with Bob Grogan for the first case and then
applied what he learned for the second case.
All in all, The Case of the Hillside Stranglers would've gone a long way by spending more time on the killers
than the detectives.
Cashback (2004)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
6/07
6/07:
In the absence of a story, Cashback is a short film that likes to show off a lot of gorgeous-looking naked white women
at a supermarket while time is frozen.
Wasting my time for eighteen minutes, it's another piece of shit. If that's the best Sean Ellis can do, then he has no future
in Hollywood.
All in all, Cashback is obsessed with turning women into sex objects.
Casino (1995)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/04, 3/09
3/09:
After Raging Bull and Goodfellas, Casino is the third film by Martin Scorsese featuring Robert De Niro,
Joe Pesci, and Frank Vincent, among others.
Mostly a rehash of the previous two, the first eighty minutes seemed to work well. I was thinking to
myself, "Why doesn't it deserve a '10'?" Then, the next hundred minutes proceeded to answer my question.
The editing isn't bad, but there are too many brief scenes. As a result, everything feels rushed, but I get the gist of
what Las Vegas is all about and how Ace Rothstein does his job. Then, I'm introduced to numerous characters while being let in
new subplots. It was working out well until the fall started. From there on, the subplots are poorly utilized, and a
trainload of new characters come and go without me knowing who the heck they are. The drama between Ace Rothstein and his
wife is unconvincing, not adding a great deal to the movie.
Anyway, what an awful performance by Sharon Stone. I still laugh at the fact that she was given an Oscar nomination. In short,
Sharon Stone got miscast. Robert De Niro is fair who's stuck with an underdeveloped character. At any rate, his run
as a terrific Scorsese actor is over. Joe Pesci has his moments yet has the same problem as Robert De Niro's. Rather, he's
used for the purpose of filling in the time.
Increasingly, the film has become about the colors of Robert De Niro's suits, the lights of Las Vegas, and Sharon
Stone's wardrobe instead of quality acting and storylines. Let's be fair: Martin Scorsese is done. He has done enough
classic films, and it's been an outstanding career for him.
All in all, Casino is a disappointing film for a lot of reasons.
The Cassandra Crossing (1976)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
9/23
9/23:
I don't understand a lot of things that have happened in The Cassandra Crossing.
Did the soldiers know they were being sacrificed on purpose? If true, then I'm surprised they're willing to go ahead with
it. It'll be curious to find out how they eat, drink, or go to the bathroom while guarding the passengers inside the train
because at some point the biohazard suit will have to be taken off. By the way, why not slow down the train? What's the
rush here?
Why did Robby say there were soldiers atop the train? I'm only asking this because I didn't see anybody there at all. It's a
hell of a lot easier to move toward the front from the top than by the side. When Robby was shot dead, why would the metal
sheet show slits when its purpose is to contain the smell of the plague completely? By the way, he's a mountain climber who
happens to be a heroin addict? It's not possible.
I fail to comprehend why the United States Army is taking over the outbreak situation that's occurring in Europe. What
justifies their authority? Also, why announce to everybody on the train there's a bomb threat when something more
innocuous like debris on the tracks will do?
Why are the soldiers shooting at the train passengers? Are they supposed to be helping them out? At the end of the film,
there's a lot of gunfire, but why are several passengers getting up and walking in the middle of the hallway? Don't they know
what the hell is going on? After the train crashed, I was surprised to see plenty of never-seen-before, nonchalant
passengers in the front. Everybody keeps saying there are 1,000 aboard, but the feel has been consistently thirty or so.
What Dr. Chamberlain proposed makes sense when he said the infected should be moved to one end of the train while the
healthy go to the opposite end. That way, if there are no signs for a week or two, they're deemed safe and therefore
allowed to enter the next phase while the rest will stay put for additional quarantine. But noooo....Colonel MacKenzie, by the
order of his superior(s), says: kill them all, no exceptions. Pretty extreme, I must say. Imagine the avalanche of lawsuits.
Meanwhile, it's an interesting collection of all-stars: Richard Harris, Sophia Loren, Burt Lancaster, Ava Gardner, Martin
Sheen, Lee Strasberg, and O.J. Simpson. Richard Harris has done better in a different disaster picture called
Juggernaut while Sophia Loren gives more effort than usual. The rest of the cast is okay although Lee Strasberg
may have overacted a bit. On why she took the role, Ava Gardner said, "The real reason I'm in this picture is money, baby, pure
and simple." Okay, thank you very much... Ann Turkel, who sang one song, was Richard Harris' ex-wife.
All in all, The Cassandra Crossing is a good remake candidate given the multitude of head-scratching logic flaws.
Cast a Giant Shadow (1966)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/15
10/15:
The two adjectives to describe Cast a Giant Shadow are: long and boring.
Who cares about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict? Oil is the only reason why the United States has a vested interest in
the region. That's it. There's really nothing else.
Cast a Giant Shadow is a remake of Lawrence of Arabia. I only wish it wasn't so long. The story
is hard to follow and not interesting. Poor production values are markedly evident with instances of rear
projection effect and a clapperboard that was accidentally shown during one scene.
For comic relief, Frank Sinatra, who pretends to be a pilot, squirts Seltzer water at an enemy fighter plane. Who has ever
seen a magnificent-looking female creature like Senta Berger while fighting in the Middle East? She should've given up on
the war, gone straight for Hollywood, and cashed in on her looks. On the other hand, Kirk Douglas is excellent.
All in all, despite the all-star cast, Cast a Giant Shadow is a disappointing war picture.
Castle Keep (1969)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/20
6/20:
For a long time, I thought Battle of the Bulge was the worst WWII picture made, but it's now
dethroned by Castle Keep.
Awful, stupid, boring, talky, and feeling somewhat 60's, Castle Keep is not fun to sit through
when I was expecting something along the lines of The Train, Where Eagles Dare, and The Great Escape.
The plot makes no sense, and I don't know why the gang of eight soldiers decided to defend the Maldorais Castle.
The final thirty minutes is an incomprehensible mess of mass shooting and explosions. Why are there fire engines amidst
all of this? If anything, the mini art lecture is the only good and funny part of the film, and...that's it.
The always excellent Burt Lancaster is wasted. Why is his character concerned about sex (I know, Burt
absolutely had to make a move on Astrid Heeren, but still...) when he should be focusing on the enemy? It makes little sense
for him to wear an eye patch when Peter Falk should wear one since he had a glass eye on the right
side. For comic relief, Columbo decides to be a baker. Huh?
Although Bruce Dern and Scott Wilson also star, the cast is bland, and I don't like any of their
characters. Amazingly enough, these eight guys can mow down hundreds of Nazis without getting hurt until the end. Even though
they brought a lot of weapons to the castle, I don't think it's possible because of the weight.
By the way, don't bother googling for the castle. It's not real, and no...it's not the Neuschwanstein Castle which served as an
inspiration for the Magic Kingdom Castle. If I were the Maldorais' owner, I would be very angry about Falconer
stealing his wife, Beckman taking the paintings as if they belong to him, and Clearboy keeping the Volkswagen. He taking
them in stride is the most unbelievable aspect.
All in all, Sydney Pollack should be flogged for Castle Keep while spending a lot of time on pointless talk
and squandering Burt Lancaster's potential to make an exciting action-war drama.
Casualties of War (1989)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
12/16
12/16:
Casualties of War may be the first film Sean Penn doesn't cry in.
Congratulations, Sean. I didn't know he could do it. All the kidding aside, Casualties of War, which is based
on a true incident, is a compelling war drama picture that seems to be another one about the Vietnam War but has something
unique to talk about: the kidnap, gang rape, and murder of a young Vietnamese woman by four U.S. Army soldiers.
Max Eriksson was basically faced with three choices: kill his fellow soldiers to save the girl which would make him a murderer
in the eyes of the U.S. Army, run away which would be viewed as an act of desertion, or let the rape happen.
Hence, Eriksson was powerless to do anything about it because he couldn't reason with the armed and dangerous
soldiers who were either stupid or irrational. Then, he reported the crime to his superiors who told him to forget about it
because doing so would make the U.S. Army look bad. Eventually, the whole matter was investigated, reaching the military court.
Although the actual soldiers were tried and sentenced, their punishment was lenient, and they served little time, only
to be dishonorably discharged at the end.
Michael J. Fox handles his role very well, showing a lot of sensitivity. It's probably the best work he has
done in his career besides Back to the Future. Sean Penn is better than most pictures. Somehow, he acts like
his brother Christopher, making it hard for me to distinguish between the two at certain moments. During the filming, he
made Michael J. Fox mad in some scenes, just to get an effect out of him under the director's orders, by berating him
that he was "a little TV actor."
Don Harvey gives the best performance. His role could've gone to Stephen Baldwin, but luckily, it did not. Stephen was
first cast as Hatcher, but he was soon replaced by John C. Reilly after several scenes. A long time baddie, Don Harvey is
the most effective, showing a chilling coldness. There are people out there who are like him, and he captures that
kind of personality, making himself too real.
John Leguizamo is surprisingly lucid which is a rarity. In his autobiography
Pimps, Hos, Playa Hatas, and All the Rest of My Hollywood Friends: My Life, he said he got slapped hard
in the face by Sean Penn every time for fourteen takes. Dale Dye is also great. Interestingly, Sean Penn, John C. Reilly,
and Don Harvey would reappear in a touchy-feely war picture entitled The Thin Red Line.
The film was shot on location in Thailand, and the bridge where the girl was murdered is part of the same
rail transportation system that was used in The Bridge on the River Kwai. Unfortunately, it didn't do well
at the box office, grossing $18.7 million against a budget of $22.5 million despite having something important to say.
All in all, Casualties of War is an unusual film from Brian De Palma, has great performances, and tells a serious
story about war crimes against humanity.
Cat Ballou (1965)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/14
1/14:
Awful doesn't begin to describe Cat Ballou.
Everything about it must be filled with invective words to get the idea of how unimaginably bad the film is. And the chief
reason? Jane Fonda. Still riding on the coattails of her father, Jane Fonda is an inane actress. With the exception
of They Shoot Horses, Don't They? and a few others, she kills every picture with her presence.
So, how bad is Cat Ballou? Nat King Cole showed up, played some music, and then died. On the other hand, the
peripheral characters are harebrained, making it a chore to watch.
Finally, Lee Marvin...his performance is somewhat interesting because he's usually stoic and lacks much of a repertoire
in mannerisms outside of his military airs. But this one, he shows a lot of range I didn't think it was
possible. However, his Academy Award win? Stop making me laugh hard. Good gracious, no. It's decent but nothing special.
All in all, when I think of Cat Ballou, I picture Kid Shelleen with his forehead against the red brick
wall urinating on the film while farting loudly.
Cat Chaser (1989)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/08, 2/22
5/08:
Cat Chaser is a through and through neo-noir picture that's complicated to comprehend on the first try.
I'm familiar with the two previous works by Abel Ferrara: Bad Lieutenant and King of New York. Technically
flawed, he can direct and is capable of making a film work but doesn't know how to maximize its potential while dealing
with the script. Oftentimes, Abel Ferrara would hold back, never fully sure of the correct direction.
Bad Lieutenant is a good example because Harvey Keitel gave his best performance, but it was the message that went
nowhere. Christopher Walken of King of New York was destined to be great, but there was too little of him and
a lot of nothing else throughout.
For a while, I thought Cat Chaser would go down the same path as the other two, but it turned out to be
better than I anticipated. Abel Ferrara may have played with fire by making the story overly complicated, but his handling
turns out to be just after all. Anthony B. Richmond's cinematography is a big treat, too.
Peter Weller does a great job of playing the typical odd man out who finds himself involved in some intricate situation yet
stays out of the mystery as much as possible by rejecting the risk. Kelly McGillis continues to impress me after appearing
in The Accused, Top Gun, and Witness. She never gets enough credit as a serious actress.
On a side note, I've read about the complaints that the DVD version of Cat Chaser doesn't contain some scenes as shown
in the original version and is missing some dialogue that's essential to the story. Hence, there's a VHS copy that's more
faithful. Honestly, I think the DVD movie is fine as the way it is.
All in all, Cat Chaser is a solid neo-noir that needs to be viewed again.
2/22:
Cat Chaser is the only sensible film ever directed by Abel Ferrara.
I'm going to clear up the misunderstanding in regard to the scheme:
Rafi tried to rip off Moran by taking advantage of the angle concerning Luci Palma's whereabouts. Once it didn't work out
and Moran saw through him, Rafi was thereafter recruited by Nolen for a bigger payoff that was conceived by Jiggs:
$2 million from DeBoya.
Jiggs, along with his two helpers, tried to convince Moran to join them, but Moran refused the offer because he knew the
risk wasn't worth going to prison or dying for. Somehow, Jiggs got these three to go to DeBoya's house and confront him,
resulting in the deaths of Rafi and Nolen and the capture of Moran. DeBoya may have wanted to save the worst for Moran when
he's good and ready for what he did with his wife.
The whole time, DeBoya's wife was never a femme fatale. She only wanted the money as promised by the divorce settlement,
but her husband reneged on it at the last minute which wouldn't stand up in court. Hence, she took the money under the bed because
she felt entitled to it by law and no more. The rest of the way is self-explanatory.
That being said, Cat Chaser is a great, underrated neo-noir thriller with a complicated plot. Shot on location
in San Juan, Puerto Rico, and Miami, Florida, it's similar to Body Heat but in a different way. However, the
narration is superfluous which was added during the post-production without the director's approval.
Because of his tanned looks, Peter Weller is perfect. Kelly McGillis, Charles Durning, Frederic Forrest, Tomás Milián, and
Juan Fernández, who's actually Dominican, are all superb. For some reason not made clear, Kelly McGillis hated the filming
experience, and she never did another major picture for years.
All in all, Cat Chaser is a difficult film to understand at first, but it'll be clear after several viewings.
Cat People (1942)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
12/11
12/11:
The 1942 version of Cat People is a snoozefest.
When I thought the original would be better than the remake, it turns out the latter is preferable. Two biggest
reasons for the failure are poor acting and slow pace.
Simone Simon can't act. She tries, but it's all phony. Kent Smith, who plays the husband, is so
unconvincing that he should've made an appearance in Plan 9 from Outer Space. The rest is on the same level as
the other two.
The pace is hampered by the nonexistent plot, uneventful moments, and lack of suspense. So, let me get this
straight: Oliver Reed married Irena Dubrovna and still hasn't kissed her? I think that says it all.
All in all, Cat People has no lives to begin with.
Cat People (1982)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/11
11/11:
My head shakes at the sight of Cat People.
I haven't seen the original yet, but this remake...what the heck? Every time the unsexy Nastassja Kinski takes off her
clothes, John Heard's character goes nuts and proceeds to have sex with her. Does Oliver, a doctor of zoology, realize he's
guilty of bestiality? The movie is like this throughout, and that's all there is to it.
Furthermore, Cat People is as soft porn as it gets while there's no story, no intelligence, no point, and no
comprehensibility to speak of, but it has a lot of gratuitous nudity to pass the time. Hence, the poor Malcolm McDowell
has nothing to work with.
On the positive side, it has good cinematography which includes a pretty-looking jaguar although I see some instances of
animal abuse.
All in all, if Paul Shrader wanted to show a lot of nudity, why didn't he do a porno flick instead?
The Cat's Meow (2001)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/19
2/19:
There's a lot of movie history in The Cat's Meow which is only a theory of what happened.
On November 16, 1924, film mogul Thomas Ince was found dead on a yacht that was owned by William Randolph Hearst, the famous subject
of Citizen Kane. On board were Hearst's long-time partner Marion Davies, Charlie Chaplin, Elinor Glyn, Louella Parsons,
Margaret Livingston, and a few others.
The mystery hasn't been solved to this day, but it's more than conceivable that William Randolph Hearst killed Ince when he
meant to kill Chaplin for taking interest in Marion. I suspect Peter Bogdanovich knows the truth after hearing it from Orson
Welles who used to stay at his place on and off for a period of years. That's how The Cat's Meow happened.
In fact, Orson Welles wanted the story be included in Citizen Kane but chose not to in fear of what Hearst might
do to him. The rumor has also been substantiated by Mamie Van Doren.
By the way, Thomas Ince, according to Wikipedia, was responsible for "revolutionizing the motion picture industry by creating
the first major Hollywood studio facility and invented movie production by introducing the 'assembly line' system of
filmmaking," was the "first mogul to build his own film studio," and was "instrumental in developing the role of
the producer in motion pictures."
Back to the film, it's interesting to see how the Hollywood luminaries behaved back then. The acting, especially
from Edward Herrmann and Eddie Izzard (Chaplin actually had deep blue eyes, but they turned dark in black-and-white films),
is top-notch. I'm starting to appreciate Kirsten Dunst's talent.
All in all, The Cat's Meow has me convinced that William Randolph Hearst fatally shot Thomas Ince by accident,
with Louella Parsons as a witness, and therefore covered it up.
Catwoman (2004)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
You know a film is destined to fail when it's directed by somebody named Pitof.
That's the case with Catwoman. Seriously, who the fuck calls himself Pitof? It sounds like a rice cuisine.
Anyway, the movie is besieged with many flaws.
The acting is somewhat decent, and the story moves along. However, the scenes are too fast that's heavy in CGI.
Remember the mantra: less is more. Repeat after me: less is more. Got it, Pitof? Good. Now, get the fuck
out of here. And do something about your name, dammit.
One hour into Catwoman, it's the beginning of cheesy scenes and sexual innuendos. Then, there's the
stripper-like basketball sex in front of the second graders! That's when I knew the movie was over.
All in all, it's time to get rid of the asshat director with the most ridiculous one-word name of all time.
Caught in a Cabaret (1914)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
I would love to get my hands on a big hammer and use it to smack the hell out of Charlie Chaplin to eternity.
Caught in a Cabaret sucks. It's very infantile, boring, and stupid. At this point, I'm questioning myself if I can
survive any more crap from Charlie Chaplin. It's a true test of mental endurance.
Charlie Chaplin is an awful actor. He lacks range. All he does is repeat the same shit over and over. I question
how it is that Charlie Chaplin became famous. At least, his garbage is, for all intents and purposes, now forgotten.
All in all, many silent pictures aren't worth preserving nowadays, and Caught in a Cabaret is one of them.
Caught Up (1998)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/23
6/23:
After watching Jason's Lyric, I looked up what else Bokeem Woodbine had done in a leading role during
the 90's besides Strapped, and it turns out to be only Caught Up.
Well, that's unfortunate because he's a good actor. Bokeem is mostly fine, but it's not his best stuff.
The movie is rather silly that's made worse by the back-and-forth between comedy and neo-noir. Had the filmmakers
stuck with the latter, it might have played better. At the same time, what a mistake to get Basil Wallace because he already
did the same role in Marked for Death, a Steven Seagal picture.
The biggest WTF is using Cynda Williams to play two characters: the fortune teller and Daryl Allen's ex-wife. It makes
no sense. When the woman's body was found stabbed next to Daryl, I didn't think it was the fortune teller. At the
end, there's a twist that makes the intended black comedy worse although I can see why it happened this way.
All in all, Caught Up is an okay movie, and it's better than nothing if you want to see more of Bokeem Woodbine.
CB4 (1993)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
3/04, 11/14
11/14:
I don't know how anyone can see the potential in CB4.
It's crap about rap. Supposedly funny, I didn't laugh once. I guess everybody is afraid to make fun of anyone assocated with
the (c)rap business. Chris Rock might want to drop the label "comedian" to describe himself. At the same time, who
finds Phil Hartman or Chris Elliott funny?
The movie is also New Jack City/Boyz n the Hood reunion for Ice-T, Allen Payne, Ice Cube, and Chris Rock. I
suppose Judd Nelson was deemed too white to be included. Blinking my eyes incessantly, I can't get over the uncanny
resemblance Charlie Murphy has to his brother Eddie. There have been times I thought it was the latter.
All in all, take away the B in CB4, and it's what I want to use to blow up the crap film.
Cecil B. Demented (2000)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/04, 2/18
2/18:
Melanie Griffith's A-list status is officially over after appearing in Cecil B. Demented.
Named the Pope of Trash, John Waters has made a career out of creating films in bad taste, and his most infamous of them
all is Pink Flamingos. Twenty-eight years later, he gives it another go, and it's called Cecil B. Demented which
is a clever twist on DeMille's name.
Although one might be unaccustomed to the weirdness, it's actually tame that's almost devoid of shock value as compared to
Pink Flamingos. I try and try, but the movie isn't good. The acting is okay with Melanie Griffith taking the most
risk for doing something like this. I like the concept, but cinema has passed by John Waters.
All in all, Cecil B. Demented is not John Waters enough.
The Cell (2000)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/05, 4/06
4/06:
Extravagant, excessive, pretentious, and revolting, The Cell is a hybrid of The Silence of the Lambs and
Moulin Rouge.
I'm compelled to ask this question: what's the use of showing all of the fancy dream crap? All the agents need is a clue to
find the serial killer's location without having to muddle their way inside his useless world. If you want the best film for
this sort of thing, then go with Manhunter.
The FBI agent had less than forty hours to figure it out, and I'm pretty darned sure she can get results in a
matter of minutes. Going through the mind of a serial killer and saving his soul is a waste of time because really...who
cares? Just catch and kill him already. On the other hand, the acting seems to be fine, but the dialogue is vapid.
All in all, The Cell is an excuse to show off the awesome visual power of CGI.
Celtic Pride (1996)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/03, 7/08
7/08:
It's a good thing Celtic Pride was made because the film mocks the diehard, rabid sport fans who come out
of every nook and cranny like fucking cockroaches.
Pick any sport of whatever level whether it's football, basketball, soccer, baseball, wrestling, or hockey. Every one of them
has them all. They're annoying, dumb, and narrow-minded because their lives must revolve around the sport. When the
event comes, it's so, so, so important that they have to be there or see the game.
Nothing is more sickening than a fan thinking he won when his team captured a championship or making an excuse why it
lost. Well, guess what? The loser wasted 100% of his time and money following the team and playing virtually no role.
At the same time, he feels the need to trash-talk to others like he's a big fucking man with a big fucking set of
balls. He's always an armchair quarterback to explain how the game should be played in spite of not
recording a single minute in professional sports.
Also, he has paid thousands of dollars for tickets, pictures, autographs, and other sport memorabilia. Does
this sound weird when he has at least ten framed pictures of athletes in his house if he has no personal relationship with
any of them? In the mind of this numbskull, Super Bowl Sunday should be declared a national holiday. Now, I wonder why he
isn't involved with professional sports. Ah, yes. The answer is clear: he...is...a...fucking...loser.
Celtic Pride confirms everything I've said. It has some funny parts but is dumb and lame for the most part.
The characters of Dan Aykroyd and Daniel Stern are pitiful and unlikable. Damon Wayans doesn't do much to generate
laughs, and I don't feel anything for him. The kidnapping angle is illegal and will result in felony charges. As
stupid as the final outcome is, it's unrealistic.
All in all, if you're a diehard sport fan, you better take a long and hard look at yourself and decide whether or not you're
fucked in the head.
C'era una volta il West (1968)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/08
4/08:
If there will be a study whether films cause Alzheimer's disease, may I present
C'era una volta il West, which is better known as Once Upon a Time in the West, for the first trial?
I won't be surprised if there's proof of it. Just like The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, it's a one big, long,
and slow staring contest. Forget plot. It's all about the eyes...the depth of them. Hence, Sergio Leone has solidified
himself as one of the all-time worst directors.
Visiting the tanning salon recently, the characters don't say anything; in fact, they don't speak that much
for three hours. I sat and waited for anything to happen before falling asleep because I couldn't take the slowness anymore.
Henry Fonda's character had the chance to kill Harmonica exactly where he was but forewent it. Because of this specific
moment, the film is permitted to go longer. More obscene than the pace is the sheer amount of close-ups. If I have to
watch one more, I'm going to buy a gun and use it on Sergio Leone's corpse.
All in all, Once Upon a Time in the West has to be the most boring movie I've seen in my life.
C'est arrivé près de chez vous (1992)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
12/13, 11/17
12/13:
It's been years since I saw a daring, original picture, and this time, it's called C'est arrivé près de chez vous which
is better known as Man Bites Dog.
Thanks to Benoît Poelvoorde's arresting Oscar-worthy performance, it's also one of the most compelling movies I've ever seen.
A one-man tour de force, he's charming, likeable, and manipulative. The style is akin to Reservoir Dogs,
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, and This Is Spinal Tap all rolled into one.
Michael Rooker's Henry is an unsmiling psychopath with a myopic view of how world is while Ben is a fun-loving sociopath with
wide-ranging array of taste. Endlessly talkative, he's also knowledgeable, philosophical, and worldly in many areas through
situational analysis. Yet both characters are alike because they kill without compunction and it's just another day to them.
The Spinal Tap technique is effective because it's interesting to see how the filmmakers are being slowly
manipulated, minute by minute, into Ben's world by helping him to dispose of dead bodies, clean up the mess, and participate
in crimes. During this process, they've become accessories to the fact by going along with his actions because
they think he's funny and cool which makes things pretty weird, hence the intrepidity of the premise.
Unfortunately, the film drags a bit during the second half, losing some momentum and thus making me unsure if it deserves a
'10'. However, it does manage to survive by turning the tables to make things interesting as if karma will bite on Ben's ass.
All in all, think what you want, but there's no question C'est arrivé près de chez vous is a unique film.
11/17:
If I can think of a disturbing film that works well on many levels, it's C'est arrivé près de chez vous aka
Man Bites Dog.
The most compelling character of the mockumentary is Ben who's excellently played by the Belgian actor Benoît Poelvoorde. A
tour de force, he's impossible to look past however arrogant, sociopathic, and detectable he can be. His character can be
charming and smart for a minute and then turn on a dime by killing people without any thought.
Giving the film a '10' last time, I've decided to drop a point for being slow at times, and it feels somewhat dated by now.
Nonetheless, it's still a daring picture that pushes the boundaries of violence as art.
All in all, C'est arrivé près de chez vous makes for an arresting viewing.
Chain Reaction (1996)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
10/06
10/06:
Chain Reaction is, quite simply, a chain reaction of bad filmmaking.
A rip-off of The Fugitive, it has nothing much to offer. Basically, Keanu Reeves is Harrison Ford, Fred Ward is Tommy
Lee Jones, and the menacing weird-looking Russian is the one-armed guy. The director is none other than Andrew Davis.
Everybody talks about this important technology milestone, but what is it? They need to be more specific. Better yet, they
should show me the money everybody keeps refering to.
All in all, Andrew Davis needs to stop going back to the blueprint as outlined in The Package and start coming up
with something new.
The Chamber (1996)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/17
7/17:
Most John Grisham movies tend to work out, and they've been entertaining although his books are better.
During the 90's, it seemed Hollywood was churning out one or two annually. Then, The Chamber got released
that precipitated a serious decline in quality. Soon after The Gingerbread Man, that was the end of it with
the exception of Runaway Jury which came out in 2003. There hasn't been another John Grisham picture since then.
The Chamber is unique for getting made before John Grisham could finish the book, having initially sold the film rights.
As a result, it grossed $22.5 million against a budget of $50 million. The author called the whole thing a "disaster" and a
"train wreck from the beginning."
The biggest trouble is the believability factor as the hate feels fake. It's just Gene Hackman pretending to be a wigger
who happens to hate Jews and black people. Faye Dunaway trying to lay it on thick is a sad and pathetic sight. In short, her
status as a great actress is clearly kaput. Chris O'Donnell, whose hair appears dyed with black shoe polish, is
out of his league. To label him an actor is a huge stretch. His movie career ended not long after Batman Returns.
For the most part, The Chamber is Dead Man Walking redux with some taste of Rudy Baylor. Even two actors
from the latter are brought back for their second rodeo: Raymond Barry and Robert Prosky. Worse is the switching of sides:
Faye Dunaway from the outlaw in Bonnie and Clyde to a shamed daughter of a bigot murderer, Gene Hackman from the
ball-breaking FBI agent of Mississippi Burning to a fourth generation KKK member, and Raymond Barry from the
victim's father of Dead Man Walking to a white supremacist.
Bo Jackson is distracting because it's Bo freaking Jackson. It's obvious he's being used to score points. Taking
advantage of his adorable eyes, the message of the film is: "If Bo says it's okay, then it's okay." Nope, I'm not going to buy
it. Bo's third career wouldn't last long because he couldn't act.
All in all, in order for a movie to work, I have to care about the characters, but it didn't happen in The Chamber.
The Champ (1979)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/16
7/16:
The Champ is one part Jon Voight and 99 parts crybaby Ricky Schroder.
The story is as hokey as it gets. Billy Flynn decides to get into the ring, so he can have one last shot at a big payoff.
Given the sight of the fight match, exactly how much money are we talking about here...$500?
Why not Billy get a regular job instead and preserve his brain? And of course, Billy was going to die in the ring because
he hardly trained for boxing after going away for seven years. The kid is definitely responsible for his father's death by
the way he kept calling him "champ." I bet the more often Billy heard it, the more he was pressured to get back to
the ring to prove himself once again. What a stroke for his ego. How about calling the old man "dad" for a change, huh kid?
Ricky Schroder is by far the worst part. All he does is cry, cry, and cry. Buckets of tears would flow out of his eye sockets
like the Mississippi River. Apart from the overused acting technique, Ricky Schroder is dependent on his cuteness,
which is equipped with Aryan blond hair and blue eyes, to make up for his nonexistent thespic abilities.
Who cares about Billy Flynn's death? His ex-wife must have felt ecstatic to know she'll have the pretty son all to
herself for the rest of her life. Hypothetically speaking, if the kid was either average-looking or downright ugly, would she
have taken interest in him? I'll say no. See, being cute did play a big part in her decision.
All in all, The Champ is about how a little kid got his daddy killed for nothing.
The Champion (1915)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
6/07
6/07:
Way to go, Ms. Charlie Chaplin.
The Champion is another addition to my Worst Film List. The title is a misnomer as it should've been called
The Cheater. Nothing works. It's been a waste of time.
If Charlie Chaplin was alive during the mid 80's, I would have paid good money for him to step inside the punching bag before
Mike Tyson was ready to unleash his fury. Now, that would've been entertaining.
All in all, fuck Charlie Chaplin, and fuck his garbage films.
Chandler (1971)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
12/16
12/16:
Warren Oates sucks, has zero appeal, and looks like a catfish.
Chandler is a good example of what I mean which is a bizarre film about nothing. Director Paul Magwood would
never do another picture for the rest of his life. What a terrible job he did.
Why did Leslie Caron agree to appear in this mess and be kissed by Warren Oates? Was she out of her mind or what?
Leslie Caron's character jumps out of the car going 70 MPH and looks great afterwards with nary a broken bone
or a smudge of grass on her perfectly white dress.
Gloria Grahame has about two minutes of screen time and then disappears. It's perhaps a smart move on her part. I still don't
have the foggiest idea what the plot is supposed to be. Can anyone explain it to me, huh? Interestingly, the movie was
re-edited to make the plot easier to follow which elicted an "oh, yeah?" from me. Well, it didn't work.
However, I like the photography, and California's central coast has never looked prettier. Also, I love the anachronistic use
of the old 40's cars (which are 1946-47 Plymouth Deluxe four-door sedans) for what's essentially a 70's picture. The paint
sure brings the color yellow out of one car.
All in all, you should enjoy the cinematography and the 40's cars in Chandler because that's all there is to it.
The Changeling (1980)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/06, 5/23
8/06:
What a great picture The Changeling is.
It's full of suspense with an exciting mystery story to boot. There's never a letdown for a single minute, and it's a lot
of fun to watch the whole thing to unfold. At first glance, I thought The Changeling would be another typical
haunted house picture, but it turns out to be much different than others. George C. Scott is excellent; this
one couldn't have worked without him.
Additionally, I'm impressed with the filmmakers for not relying on special effects, and there isn't any. Instead, they took
advantage of the power of good old-fashioned storytelling. How the house communicates with the characters is fascinating stuff.
All in all, The Changeling is a superb supernatural murder mystery picture with plenty of suspense.
5/23:
If you loved Burnt Offerings, The Changeling should be right up your alley.
Only this time it's not a horror but a murder mystery movie. The story is intelligent with the house communicating with
a newly moved-in inhabitant to right a wrong. My theory as to why it took so long is that the spirit of the deceased boy
first needed somebody living in the house in order to make the connection between what happened and the senator. The next
critical point is he had to be willing to try.
Meanwhile, the photography shots from a geometric viewpoint are excellent while the editing takes the film
to another level. Of course, George C. Scott is the best, and he's perfect for the role. The biggest flaw is how it can be
his character was able to figure out a great deal so quickly. That kind of stuff takes a while. By the way, Trish
Van Devere, who plays the real estate agent for the historical society, was his real-life wife, and the house as shown in the
film doesn't exist.
All in all, The Changeling has the elements to be a successful haunted house thriller, and having George C.
Scott on board is the final clincher.
Changes (1991)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/21
6/21:
Partly Rebecca but mostly Danielle Steel, Changes is an absorbing romantic drama telefilm that's sometimes
overwhelmed by the large number of people involved.
Because of the high production values, great fashion sense, and impressive-looking people, I can't help but feel the
similarities to Alfred Hitchcock's sumptuous pictures. Think of Cary Grant, Grace Kelly, James Stewart, and Kim Novak, the
clothes they wore, and the elegant in/exterior setups.
It's all wonderful, but they're, I hate to say this, heavily drenched in white privilege, especially when the wife's Hispanic maid left
her family in New York City for California to serve the other family's needs. I have a big problem with it. Plus, how can
she handle that many people on top of the huge mansion? Melanie and Peter need a team of salaried helpers.
The story is engrossing. There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to how long to get married after the initial meeting, but
I think Melanie and Peter dove into it too quickly because they (mostly he) felt so good at that moment when they should've
taken the time to get know to each other first. Of course, the quick adjustment has become too much for the children, and I
can't blame them.
As good as the movie is, there are too many people at once. I don't want to say it's the director's fault because
Changes was a telefilm that's meant to be roughly ninety minutes long plus commercials. It's a tough task, trying to
juggle everybody at once and making sure each person's issue is fully addressed. The last twenty minutes is unbelievable
as the separate sets of children, all of a sudden, decide to get along.
There are some events that appear out of nowhere with a few of them not receiving proper closure. The abortion stuff between
Val and Mark is shocking; I expected more from them and wondered if it constituted incest. The doctor seems to
move on fairly well from the death of his patient Marie Dupres because of the heart transplant rejection. At the same
time, there's a small follow-up of Melanie's difficult transition at work.
Cheryl Ladd and Michael Nouri give the strongest performances, and both are excellent. I still can't get over his uncanny
resemblance to Steven Bauer. One thing I like, which is rare for a couple in movies, is that Michael Nouri is tall as
compared to Cheryl and the height difference is frequently exploited. The kids aren't bad. I'm surprised to see
Jerry Seinfeld's mother in the role of a baddie; now, I can see Liz Sheridan doing plenty of
horror movies. Flowers in the Attic would've been a perfect fit for her.
All in all, no matter what the negatives are, Changes is enjoyable, thanks to Cheryl Ladd and Michael Nouri.
Changing Lanes (2002)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
Changing Lanes is a rocky roller-coaster ride that can be sometimes good and sometimes bad.
As for the rating, I went from '7' to '5' and then up to '8' which nosedived to '4' before finally settling for
'6'. It's not that I didn't like it, but rather, I was overwhelmed with everything that had occurred. In short, it's been
over the top.
The acting isn't bad. At one point, I was at the verge of saying, "My dear Ben, you cannot act," before stopping
myself short because I think Ben Affleck did all right in a sleazy way. His co-star Samuel L. Jackson is fine as usual.
Having William Hurt on board to make a cameo appearance is a nice touch. Toni Collette of Shaft looks like she has
bone marrow cancer.
But Changing Lanes is story-driven. There are several moments that are illogical. One particular scene
when Gavin Banek pulled the fire alarm, resulting in activation of the sprinklers, and went to the boss' office to
retrieve a paper document from the file cabinet. You know, at this point with the sprinklers spraying a lot of water
around, the odds of escaping from the room with a dry paper document on hand can't be that high, right?
Another one is when the tire of Gavin's car got unhooked. It seemed too good to be true. Normally, when a car is found
left behind on the highway especially in a major city, it won't remain there for long, getting flagged and then towed.
So, when Banek crashed his car, he got out and walked past by the other vehicle. I've said, "What a fascinating coincidence."
If director Roger Michell would focus on just two or three twists, the movie might be easy to swallow, but he
decided to push the envelope further until going off the ledge. The ending isn't satisfying. I was disgusted when Banek came
to the school, where the black father's sons attend, and spouted lies about him. It's an unsettling and disappointing moment.
All in all, Changing Lanes is provocative but ultimately overwhelming.
Chaplin (1992)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
9/14
9/14:
I've seen a lot of Charlie Chaplin films...in fact, a majority of them.
Charlie Chaplin has to be the most overrated comedian of all time, and, I'm sorry to say, nothing he ever did is
funny. Instead of laughing, I always drifted to sleep, no matter how short his films were, because they were
boring and monotonous. In short, his pieces of shit are tragic relics of Hollywood's completely forgotten silent cinema.
Save for TCM, it's impossible to find any Chaplin films on television. However, if there's anything positive
to say, it's this: he was talented when it came to performing physical stunts. For some reason, I hadn't
come around to seeing Chaplin until now. Back then, I knew Charlie Chaplin was a full-blown pedophile with
a ferocious temper tantrum. I was curious if that would be captured on screen. Alas, no. Instead, what I saw left me
feeling weird and puzzled.
In a way, the storytelling is reminiscent of Citizen Kane. Yet there's too much that's hidden away from the public.
Hence, the answer is: read a biography to get the full details. So, Chaplin has been a disappointing movie, but
Robert Downey, Jr., has done a fantastic job of playing the titular character. It's probably the best work of his career.
Box-office-wise, Chaplin was made for $31 million but bombed, grossing a third of the budget and thus validating the
public's opinion of Charlie Chaplin which is practically nil. In fact, most of them have never seen a single Chaplin
film, perpetuating the myth of him being a great comedian when it's not true.
All in all, Chaplin is a good film, but it's too long to sit through.
Charade (1963)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/14
8/14:
The fans of the popular game will be disappointed to discover there's no such thing in Charade.
The movie seems to have been directed by Alfred Hitchcock, but Stanley Donen did it. Uh, who? Boasting of a résumé with
zero mystery thrillers, he may have lifted the style from the Master of Suspense. In fact, there's a
bazaar scene that looks like a rip-off from To Catch a Thief. That being said, Charade is an inferior hybrid
of Suspicion and To Catch a Thief.
Cary Grant is too old, old enough to be Audrey Hepburn's father, because he's 26 years her senior. Why did
he shower with his tuxedo on? It's because he was overweight with his body looking ugly. Regardless,
Cary Grant gives an okay performance, but I prefer him younger and also in a true Hitchcock picture. In fact, he has
the best scene, which is funny, by playing the game of necking an orange.
On the other hand, Audrey Hepburn...my, my, my. One reviewer said she "takes women back to the early quarter of
the century—turning them into helpless lovelorn suckers for a man." I'm going to double down by saying her
performance takes acting back by at least twenty-five years. She's awful, laughable, and ridiculous. Her facial
expressions are unbelievable. Every scene involves Audrey Hepburn making a stupid needless fashion statement as in "oh,
aren't my clothes so pretty?" What a fucking fool.
The plot is nearly nonexistent, and the strategist's identity is simple to figure out. So, the ending isn't a surprise.
I don't know why the movie had to last so long which took me four days to complete because I had no motivation, thanks to Audrey
Hepburn's hopeless acting. Notice the setting is supposed to take place in Paris, but the city is hardly shown much. In fact,
especially during the boat ride, there's a rear projection screen. How pathetic.
All in all, Charade is a straight-up Hitchcock imitation.
The Charge of the Light Brigade (1968)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/17
9/17:
I tried hard to like The Charge of the Light Brigade, but it's a boring picture that flopped at
the box office in 1968.
By the way, what's with the stupid Monty Python animations? What purpose do they serve for the plot? Only if they
stuck to the facts of the battle, it might have come off as an okay film about military blunders. But I shan't expect
much from Tony Richardson whom I regard to be a poor director. Many problems occurred on the set
which are as follows that's according to IMDb:
1. Tony Richardson fired a stunt coordinator because of his maniac swordplay that killed several horses.
2. He also fired John Osborne for refusing to rewrite his script because it was too close to the facts as outlined in the book.
(Gee...talk about defeating the purpose.)
3. An earthquake destroyed the hotel that was used for the filming.
4. Famous for appearing in Michelangelo Antonioni's Blow-Up, David Hemmings, a James Spader look-alike, proved
to be difficult to work with. He would never reach the same heights again during the rest of his career.
5. The crew, especially those who played Turkish soldiers, fought verbally and physically with local villagers who resented
their incursion into the area.
6. Tony Richardson's strange mixture of perfectionism and historical flippancy pissed off both his crew and advisors.
7. At one point, the director wanted the Guardsmen at the Battle of the Alma to wear blue tunics, thinking they would
look better on screen than the authentic scarlet. He only relented when his military/historical adviser, Boris Mollo,
threatened to resign.
8. While filming the final battle, the soldiers were called away for a NATO war exercise, forcing Richardson to shoot the
scene with a few dozen stuntmen.
9. Rex Harrison was approached to play Lord Cardigan, but a newspaper erroneously reported George C. Scott was being
cast for the same role. This news infuriated King Rex, causing him to drop out of the project. The part ended up going to
Trevor Howard.
10. By the time the filming was completed, it was the most expensive British motion picture ever, generating
negative press. Tony Richardson refused to screen the movie for the critics, and he went an extra step further by insulting them
in print as "intellectual eunuchs."
All in all, The Charge of the Light Brigade jumps all over the place with hardly any charge as promised.
Chariots of Fire (1981)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
12/06, 3/22
12/06:
Presenting one of the most moving stories ever, Chariots of Fire is among my all-time favorite pictures.
The opening scene of runners on the beach is powerful. I can watch that all day and not be bored. It's right up
there with Rocky training montages which would get me going, no matter what. The acting is unbelievably good, and so
is Hugh Hudson's direction.
Yes, Raiders of the Lost Ark is a unique movie experience, but Chariots of Fire is in a different league as
a once-in-a-lifetime picture just like 2001: A Space Odyssey and Lawrence of Arabia, focusing solely on
the human spirit instead of the story. That's why it'll stand the test of time.
All in all, only few films have the distinction of being among the most beautiful made, and Chariots of Fire is one of
them.
3/22:
The Academy Awards voters made the right choice in 1982 when they selected Chariots of Fire as Best Picture.
The opening scene still gets me every single time. It's powerful and represents what the movie is all about: the celebration
of human spirit. Honor and virtue are routinely stressed and backed by actions.
Ian Holm may have been Oscar-nominated for Best Supporting Actor, but in truth, Ben Cross and Ian Charleson, both who were
unknown at the time, are more deserving. They've made the movie as it is. The racing scenes are excellent, just
a fantastic way of breaking them down from a different perspective. However, the writer took liberties with the story of what
actually happened.
Harold Abrahams did win the 100 meters and also a silver medal in the 4x100 meter relay in the 1924 Olympics, but he wasn't
the first to complete successfully the Great Court Run (David Cecil, aka Lord Burghley, did). In fact, he had never attempted
it. Moreover, he didn't meet Sybil Evers until 1934, and they were subsequently married, his second time around the block.
Abrahams was also a long jumper which ended his running career in 1926, breaking his leg. His friend Evelyn (not Aubrey)
Montague took sixth in the 3,000 meter steeplechase race in the 1924 Olympics. He attended Oxford, not Cambridge, and
died in 1948, not after 1978.
Back to David Cecil, he refused his name to be used because of the film's fictional component and would regret his decision
afterwards upon seeing it. Hence, Lord Andrew Lindsay had to be invented to take his place. Cecil did win the 400 meters
hurdles in the 1928 Oympics while taking silver in the 4x400 meter relay for 1932. He performed the hurdles stunt as depicted
in the film but with matchboxes instead of champagne glasses.
The Flying Scotsman, Eric Liddell is perhaps the most famous athlete ever to come out of Scotland. He was also Chinese, having
been born in Tianjin (Tientsin) and spending most of his life in China. In fact, Eric Liddell was the first Chinese athlete
to be an Olympian champion. Just about everything as stated in the film is true. He won the gold in the 400 meters while
taking the bronze in the 200 meters (Abrahams took sixth which was dead last) in the 1924 Olympics. The 100 meters was
his best event; he already knew the heat was going to be held on Sunday, skipping also the 4x100 meter
and 4x400 meter relays for the same reason. Hence, Eric trained for the 400 meters, and his previous best time was 49.6 seconds.
One of the team masseurs, not Jackson Scholz, handed him the inspiring note, just exactly as stated, prior to the championship
race, and he ran his heart out with a surprising time of 47.6 seconds, setting both Olympics and world records. Afterwards,
Eric Liddell went back to China for Christian missionary work and died in 1945 of brain tumor while at a Japanese-run
internment camp during WWII.
Sam Mussabini did exist and coached many athletes with some of them winning eleven medals in five Olympic Games. Having worked
as a cycling coach who was also knowledgeable about the game of billiards, he died in 1927 at age 59. His famous quote
was: "Only think of two things – the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other."
Elsewhere, one of the two masters at Cambridge University is John Gielgud while the other is Lindsay Anderson.
He was the director of a powerful British kitchen sink drama picture called This Sporting Life with Richard Harris
and Rachel Roberts. All of the actors trained for three months so they could pass for runners.
Because of the anti-semitistic message, Cambridge refused the producers permission to film there. Hence, it was
done at Eton College instead. After the film's success, the administrators immediately regretted the decision. The famous
beach scene was shot on location in West Sands at St. Andrews on the Fife coast of Scotland. To his credit, Ian Charleson
made sure that when he died of AIDS in 1990, the cause of death would be publicly made, and therefore, he's the first
major celebrity from the UK to acknowledge it.
All in all, Chariots of Fire is a British masterpiece.
Charlie's Recreation (1914)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
Charlie's Recreation is dreadful, brainless, outdated, and tedious.
When I say the word "tedious," I mean BORING. It's more of the same like the previous film shorts. There's a lot of pushing
around, and the average IQ of the cast has to be at an all-time low. There's no story to speak of. Coming this far after going
through many Charlie Chaplin film shorts, it's obvious this is the best he could do.
All in all, Charlie's Recreation is another idiotic Chaplin picture that's made for mental midgets.
Charly (1968)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/13
11/13:
My favorite highlight of Charly is the random sight of Charly sporting a Spock-like goatee which prompted me to say,
"What the hell?"
The motorcycle scenes come in a close second. Anyway, the film is a ridiculous adaptation of the novel
Flowers for Algernon and is nothing like it. There's no depth. It's just a lot of Charly's pensiveness,
but I have no clue what his thoughts are. Furthermore, there's no analysis of them.
Giving a performance that's nothing special, Cliff Robertson won the Oscar because he hit the gold standard:
a white intellectually disabled person. The consequence is future Oscar wins for Dustin Hoffman and Tom Hanks for
Rain Man and Forrest Gump, respectively. I find Cliff Robertson's portrayal of an intellectually disabled adult
to be unrealistic, and when Charly speaks, he sounds too advanced given his low IQ.
The transformation of Claire Bloom's character from a serious professional with ethics to a lovey-dovey worshipper has my head
shaking. It brings in a highlight when she asked Charly to be her husband despite knowing he'll be back
to his old self! What a marriage it'll be if it actually goes through.
All in all, Charly is a puerile attempt at drama to make a statement about science and disability while missing the
point of the book.
The Chase (1966)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/08
3/08:
I spotted a DVD copy of The Chase in the bargain bin for five bucks and looked at the names of the cast: Marlon Brando,
Jane Fonda, Robert Redford, Angie Dickinson, and Robert Duvall.
Looking up the director, it said Arthur Penn of Bonnie and Clyde and The Miracle Worker. Peering a bit further,
Sam Spiegel was the producer. I thought to myself, "Wow, what a find." I proceeded to watch the film but
fell asleep not long after. By the time I was done, I couldn't believe how boring and disconnected the whole thing was. For all
it could offer, I pinpointed a major problem: too much star power.
In other words, The Chase should've been Marlon Brando's picture, and he's darned capable of carrying the cast.
Instead, he's reduced to a tool, following a routine that's akin to what he did in On the Waterfront but, this
time, with no sense of purpose.
The cast looks dazzling, but who are we kidding here? It's obvious Robert Redford is a pretty boy
whose acting abilities have the depth of a shot glass. Jane Fonda has never been a good actress to start with, having ridden
on the coattails of her famous father ever since she was born. Before carving fame in his own way years later, Robert
Duvall is too young to make an impact.
I'm not sure if I should be disappointed with Arthur Penn, but consider the facts, the film was made in 1966 which is one year
before Bonnie and Clyde and four years after The Miracle Worker. In short, he made a masterpiece, a dud, and a
masterpiece in that order. Marlon Brando thought the fight scenes between his character and several residents were filmed too
quickly. So, he instructed Arthur Penn to slow down the speed to make them look beautiful. It was eventually applied for
Bonnie and Clyde.
The Chase isn't entertaining and should be ninety minutes long with a reworked plot. All it does is
force me to wait and wait for something to happen. When it does, there's no impact. I predicted Robert Redford's character
would be killed, and...he was. The most laughable scene is the fight with many shadow punches thrown.
All in all, The Chase is a dud, and it won't stop there because Arthur Penn went on to direct The Missouri Breaks
starring Marlon Brando.
The Chase (1994)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
4/03, 12/20
12/20:
If you're looking for a quick, light entertaining film, The Chase is your best bet.
Kristy Swanson and Charlie Sheen had early roles in Ferris Bueller's Day Off but didn't have a scene together.
Now, they do here, and believe it or not, it's nearly their last good film before losing their relevance in Hollywood permanently.
Despite the terrible cop-out ending, there are plenty of zany moments that keep the film going as it makes fun of the news
media tactics. The best parts are Cops-like point of view and the musician-actors: Henry Rollins, Anthony Kiedis,
and Flea. Kristy Swanson and Charlie Sheen are obviously the main attraction.
Of course, the story makes no sense because Jack Hammond's case can't just hinge on one single thing. His alibi could be
verified through his work records if the alleged robber committed crimes over a course of time. Then again, where's the money he's
supposed to have stolen?
All in all, The Chase was ahead of its time before the O.J. Simpson's low-speed chase appeared on L.A. freeway three
months later, putting the tabloid media industry into an overdrive that had never gone away to this day.
Chasing Amy (1997)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
4/09
4/09:
Chasing Amy is a film that explores intimate relationships.
The material feels fresh as evidenced by the profanity-filled conversations, and the performances are surprisingly good.
But the truth is everybody is corny as hell. The prevalence of cigarette smoking is also too much. The story was working
well until the last twenty minutes or so, and then it fell apart. The conclusion doesn't feel satisfying.
All in all, Chasing Amy is a mix of fresh and corny.
Chastity (1969)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
12/21
12/21:
Showing off a bored look constantly, Cher makes her screen debut in Chastity, and my advice to you is: RUN.
There's a movie poster that asks: "What's wrong with Chastity?" The correct answer is: everything. It's a stupid,
pointless movie with lots of Cher walking, running, moping around, and talking to herself. She and her husband Sonny Bono spent
half a mill to make her a star, but the movie flopped so badly that they ended up owing the IRS $270,000.
Nothing happens. No great revelations are made. It's about getting Cher naked, but she almost never is, resulting
in a big tease for nothing. Finally realizing how fucking useless her character has been, she breaks down and cries about
it. Perhaps a major change in her attitude is needed?
All in all, Chastity is so bad that Cher didn't act again for more than a decade.
Chattahoochee (1989)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
4/20
4/20:
Chattahoochee is a strange prison movie that's somewhat alike to Brubaker from the inside out with attention
on institutional mental health care in the state of Florida.
I can't tell whether it's a badly directed or a badly edited film; there's something wrong either way. That's a shame
because Gary Oldman was on the verge of giving the performance of his career. Instead, it's been taken away by shoddy
technical aspects such as too many close-ups, poor storyline flow, and awkward transitions.
However, the story is true, and it's what happened to Chris Calhoun, a Korean War vet who suffered from post-traumatic stress
disorder (PSTD) and attempted suicide so his wife could collect insurance money. Actually, he was hoping to have the cops
kill him to make the ploy look better on paper.
Once sent to the Florida State Hospital Chattahoochee, Calhoun was physically and sexually abused by staff and witnessed many
hellish conditions that were beyond the meaning of reasonable care and treatment. What he went through was actually a lot
worse than what's shown in the film. Evidenced by Calhoun's letters to Martin Waldron of the Tampa Tribune with the help
of his sister, the Florida state government finally enacted reforms in its mental health system.
The aforementioned is the best part of the picture. But the rest is simply incompetent filmmaking. After seeing Frances
McDormand, I'm starting to realize she made a career out of playing the same character over and over which
is so damn annoying. Dennis Hopper is merely a throwaway big-name actor in this mess. By the way, James Ponti wrote an article
about Chris Calhoun which was published on May 27, 1990, in the Orlando Sentinel, making for a highly recommended read.
All in all, Chattahoochee is worth watching for two reasons: Gary Oldman and the story of what happened.
The Cheap Detective (1978)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/15
1/15:
I started with Murder by Death and followed it up with The Cheap Detective, both written by Neil Simon.
The former set the bar so high that the latter had a hard time matching it. There are some familiar faces for another go-around
such as Peter Falk, James Coco, Eileen Brennan, and James Cromwell. It's a clever spoof mix of Casablanca and
The Maltese Falcon with a modicum of To Have and Have Not. To appreciate Murder by Death, it's best to
watch them beforehand, or you won't get it.
I find the gimmick to be a treat, causing me to think of the scenes, the lines, the characters, and
the atmosphere from these classic films noirs. However, there are more misfires than
not, and the momentum is never there to get the film going. No matter what, I had a good time and would want to see it again.
All in all, The Cheap Detective is lovely fun that brought back memories.
Cheaters (2000)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
4/20
4/20:
How do the students prepare to defend themselves against accusations of academic cheating?
Simple: they watch Stand and Deliver and take notes. I thought it was the most perfect "aha" moment out of many in
Cheaters. It's the best I've seen when it comes to academic fraud, and the strategies used to get ahead are spot-on.
At one point, the teacher (Jeff Daniels) tried to rationalize why cheating was okay and cited a couple of examples how the
other school was cheating, too. I agree, but the problem here is: he and his students have made it too obvious; they should've
learned how to lay low by blending in. Had they done it, there's no way of getting caught.
How some schools cheat is not immediately clear to a lot of people, but this is what they do: recruit and enroll the high-IQ
students, therefore stacking their teams with many super smart players. To be accepted at Whitney M. Young Magnet High School, the
prospective students must take entrance exams first which explains why they always win the Illinois State championships in
academic decathlon (the last I checked, it's been 34 out of the last 35 years).
The only way the game is made fair is to homogenize the student population which is how it's done in public schools although
any of them with a high percentage of black and/or Hispanic students won't do well in these academic competitions. It's
just the way the IQ distribution works across races; hence, you'll see so many Asians excelling in science, math,
geography, and spelling bee competitions.
I wouldn't feel bad if I were the students who either never participated or didn't do well in such endeavors. I just
question the point of them because it's an awful waste of time when kids should be kids who only have eighteen years
before leaving high school to work for rest of their lives. There's no reason to be so serious at such a young age by memorizing
useless trivia and facts; when the students win, what did they really accomplish: a memory championship while pissing away
their childhood?
When I heard the guy in wheelchair talking about random number probability experiments, mixed model methodologies, two-way
ANOVAs, and statistical variances and parameters, I immediately knew the film's research was legit. Schools
who got caught cheating on the state or national examinations showed an abnormal increase in scores in a short amount of time
as compared to the past. It's not possible because, historically speaking, students on average don't improve
that much. It has a lot to do with IQ.
Let's go back to the movie Stand and Deliver and examine why they were suspected of cheating. There are three possible
reasons: (1) They were taught the same methods; (2) They responded more or less the same way on the AP Calculus exam; and (3)
They shared the same answers. Knowing the subject well, there should be little variability among the answers. A big factor is
they studied together for a long time whereas in Cheaters it was only for two or three weeks between regional and
state competitions which is a huge jump in improvement.
Well, Cheaters is perfect. They got everything right which happened to Chicago's 1994–1995 Steinmetz High School team
during the academic decathlon. It's also a funny movie in a matter of factly way. The cast is outstanding with super
strong performances, especially by Jeff Daniels and Paul Sorvino.
When D. Sharon Grant, the Board of Education president, talked about how cheating was a monumental offense and how honor had
to be held in high esteem, I literally rolled my eyes during her high-and-mighty talk and said she probably stole money from
the taxpayers. Then, I laughed hard at the end, learning Grant was sent to prison after pleading guilty to state and
federal charges for failing to file tax returns for 17 years. In 1994, she made $175,500, a princely sum when most people made
roughly ten to fifteen percent of it, and "used a phony name and Social Security numbers to conceal $644,000 in income in one
Chicago financial institution."
Remember Jolie Fitch, the female protagonist who's played by Jena Malone? She went to college for a bit while but got *whoops*
pregnant and therefore dropped out of school. The last info of her is she was working in a department store somewhere
in Chicago. Nice try, Jolie, for making people think you were too cool and smart.
All in all, I'm impressed with Cheaters when I thought it would be another hip teen comedy and consider it to be the
best movie made about cheating which is prevalent today not in just academics but in every other arena such as
politics, sports, military, and business.
Checking Out (1988)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/20
4/20:
Although Joe Eszterhas wrote the screenplay for Checking Out, it's not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination.
I don't know if he was trying to mimic The Hospital, a film that stars George C. Scott who gave one of his best
performances, thanks to the superior script written by Paddy Chayefsky. No matter, Joe Eszterhas would do better by
writing the screenplay for the powerful Holocaust drama Music Box that was released during the same year.
The trouble is the plot going too many directions when I thought the hypochondria angle had the most promise.
If not for it, I would've been fine if Allan Havey kept spouting punchlines after another the whole time. He's
good at it. Unfortunately, it's Jeff Daniels' show. When he's bland, he's bland, turning Checking Out into a
bland movie. Nothing works.
At least, there's John Durbin who plays an oddball named Spencer Gillinger. He's a walking contradiction. If Spencer dies
soon, it's because he doesn't know what the hell he's doing and somebody will get a large inheritance from him. If I see
the movie again, it will be because of him.
All in all, it's best to think of Checking Out as a bad hiccup for Joe Eszterhas.
A Child Is Waiting (1963)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
The three biggest mistakes of A Child Is Waiting are letting a normal child actor play an intellectually disabled character,
casting Judy Garland in the first place, and making Burt Lancaster director of the state institute.
I've worked with intellectually disabled children for a long time and can tell right away that Reuben Widdicombe isn't among
them. It's quite frankly annoying because I predicted he'll do something "miraculous" at the end. He did so by talking for
the first time. Instead, I prefer Burt Lancaster to work with two to four kids who are genuinely disabled to bring out the
spontaneity. He's strong enough of an actor to deal with whatever happens.
As for Judy Garland, I'm surprised to see her acting this late. In fact, 1963 marked the final year of her career. On screen, she
looked too fragile and was ready to go to pieces. If it was up to me to hire a teacher's aide or whatever, I would've passed on
Judy Garland's character and sought out a more stable person. By the way, doting on one child is strongly discouraged; what about
the others who need attention, too?
I wish Burt Lancaster was a teacher instead. It should give him more flexibility with the material, so he can demonstrate what it's
like to work with intellectually disabled children. Hence, the whole movie is a huge missed opportunity. In spots, he's shown
playing basketball and teaching speech to them. That's great, but there should be more of him with them including grooming, eating
and drinking, going to the bathroom, disciplining, dealing with their parents, keeping track of educational/life skill goals and
progress, and so on. It never happens that a major movie star does this, especially when he's surrounded by a cohort
of truly disabled kids.
It's interesting when Burt Lancaster said, "We can all suffer from it, like the sister of the president of the United States."
I thought that was a secret at the time. He meant JFK's sister Rosemary who was born mentally retarded and had behavior
issues. Her father, Joseph Kennedy, had her lobotomized without his wife' knowledge simply because she wasn't Kennedy enough.
Afterwards, he abandoned her at some institution in Wisconsin under an alias. Prior to the lobotomy operation, the family
pretended she was normal but slow in catching up with her siblings, and she was actually not that severely disabled, being able
to read and write at 4th grade level.
All in all, although well-meaning, A Child Is Waiting is too average to shed light on the care and education of
intellectually disabled children.
Children of the Corn (1984)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
10/04, 7/12
7/12:
The first moment I saw Courtney Gains' face in Children of the Corny, I knew I was in deep trouble.
I still remember the other film when he was pretending to be a gangbanger. But really, the worst actor of the show is
John Franklin as Isaac. More often than not, his mouth would be frothing while spitting out the damning words in a quaint manner.
I can't help but find him hysterically funny.
Some moments, especially Courtney Gains' "outlander" screams, are pure comedy gold. How about Burt? For a medical doctor,
he's sure dumb. When you go into a town that's completely barren and see only kids running around, it's not hard to put
two and two together within a few minutes.
The phone line is dead because the café is abandoned along with the town hall, police station, etc. Yet Burt keeps
walking around in search of a working phone. I want to grab him by the labels and tell him, "Forget the fucking phone!
Just drive on to the next town already." If he finds one that works, what good will it do?
An annoying trait in horror films is when the characters decide to split up. This decision always dooms the individuals
because they have a better chance of survival by staying together. This is what happened with Burt and Vicky. What's the
purpose? And why?
Also, when Burt finds Sarah in the house, what he should have done is ask her a lot of questions. Yet Burt gives up after a
few and leaves the house to look for *gasp* a working phone! Later, he enters a church before witnessing an impending ritual
sacrifice. Thereafter, he's stabbed in the chest by a crazed girl who wields a good six-inch blade which should have punctured
his lung. Yet Burt manages to overcome it and has plenty of energy to perform heavy duty work afterwards. Why...he must be a
superman after all.
If a person can't see beyond rows of cornstalks, he should get on top of the car roof. A house or a barn will do, too.
But walking to the middle of the corn field to get the desired effect is obviously not going to work! On the other hand, the plot
isn't possible because all towns are interconnected. Drifters, especially truck drivers, come and go through them. Folks have
out-of-town relatives. The state comptroller monitors the funding that towns receive and checks if the money has been
spent or not. So, no...I'm not buying the whole thing.
All in all, Children of the Corny isn't a horror film by any means.
Children of the Corn 666:
Isaac's Return (1999)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/12
8/12:
Oh, my goodness...whose bright idea was it to have John Franklin back?
Did anyone know he was the worst actor of the original, beating out the ineffable Courtney Gains? How the
Children of the Corny franchise had lasted this long is beyond my belief.
Children of the Corny 666: Isaac's Return is another crapfest just like the rest of the others. If you ask me what
the plot is about, I'm clueless. As much as I hate John Franklin, the sight of him as a midget puppet is deserving and
funny.
All in all, Children of the Corny 666: Isaac's Return shouldn't have been made in the first place, and once and
for all, please let the franchise die.
Children of the Corn II:
The Final Sacrifice (1992)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/12
7/12:
The last three words in the title of the sequel is The Final Sacrifice.
What final sacrifice are they talking about? Who's the final sacrifice? And for what? Danny the silly leader proclaims
the world is watching them to perform the ritual sacrifice. Yet it's only like...ten. Does he know there are over
five billion people in the world, making them to be seemingly trivial in comparison? Perhaps it's time for him
to take some remedial math classes.
After watching the show for a while, the filmmakers' laziness had become
apparent. There are no reporters around? No full-blown investigation whatsoever? Where's the setting now: Gatlin or
Hemingford? I can't tell. If there are carcasses around, the stink will be all over the place, yet nobody notices. The Indian
dude is useless and dies rather easily. How about the old lady whose house got dropped on top of her? Concrete blocks are
used to elevate it, but the machine is kept running all the time? I don't think so.
What is the relationship between Angela and Danny? Did she adopt him? And why? While the national reporter Garrett is snooping
around for a story, I can't help but ask, "Is it so obvious?" He should've taken pictures of the children staring at the
house and the mark along the side. It would be simple enough, but nooo... Instead, Garrett decides to procure aid from
his son and ask the town residents some simple questions while he's in a state of disbelief. He doesn't even notice Danny has the
makings of a cult leader.
The word "sin" is very popular. And so is "fornication." The look on Danny's face while he's screaming words and pointing out
people who are defiling(???) the corn is overboard. Yeah, it's smart of the cop to put out a piece of cornstalk
while allowing the monster harvester to run before leaving the scene. The two tied-up men escape anyway. On the other hand,
why did the nitwits get out of the van during the middle of the twister?
All in all, Children of the Corny II: The Final Sacrifice is trash.
Children of the Corn III:
Urban Harvest (1995)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/12
7/12:
The formula is in.
I repeat, the formula is in for Children of the Corny III: Urban Harvest. Find an annoying young boy and designate
him as the cult leader. Make sure there are a lot of cornstalks around. Let the children follow the leader while he spews
out some of the most ridiculous religious lines ever. Finally, the plan goes up in flames by the time the leader is ready to
cross the Rubicon for the glory of it all. Of course...nothing bad ever happens.
It goes overboard with the awful-looking special effects. Daniel Cerny, who plays Eli, gets the lion's share of the blame for being
annoying and therefore has my vote as the worst leader thus far. The last ten minutes is enough to seal its fate as
one of the worst pictures made.
Notice Eli planting some seeds in the middle of an abandoned factory. Then, it's magically transformed into a 4' by 20'
plot of cornstalks. Every time somebody walks into the middle of it, it's like being in an Iowan cornfield. Also, notice the
plastic Barbie doll that's lifted by a space mutant (whatever it is called). Some have alluded to it as Mr. Potato Head.
By the way, no corn is ever half-peeled. It's either fully peeled or not, but there's no middle, period. Two brothers are
taken for Amish, yet they're anything but lame sons of a farmer. There's a big difference, okay?
All in all, I'm reluctantly going ahead with the fourth part.
Children of the Corn IV:
The Gathering (1996)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/12
8/12:
Well, the sight of Karen Black is disgusting.
It's no wonder why Jack Nicholson's character wanted to get away from her in Five Easy Pieces. Naomi Watts was better
in The Ring. Anyone could have done her role, and it wouldn't have made a farthing of difference.
Children of the Corny IV: The Gathering is terrible on many levels and is no different from most
horror films during the 90's. Basically, characters are killed in various ways, so their deaths can be successively gorier.
Well, I'm bored.
All in all, Children of the Corny IV: The Gathering should be thrown into a dunghole and set on fire.
Children of the Corn V:
Fields of Terror (1998)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/12
8/12:
Because it has some energy, Children of the Corny V: Fields of Terror is better than the last two sequels.
I give it a '2', but that's not saying much. The little boy with big ears...what he needs is an atomic wedgie, so he can run
to his mommy and bawl his eyes out on her bosom.
What's with the nonsensical scripts being approved for production? Did these people have a special connection in Hollywood, no
matter how rubbish the work was? What kind of drugs were they consuming these days? It's what happened for
Children of the Corny V: Fields of Terror.
All in all, why are they still making more sequels for the Children of the Corny franchise?
The Children's Hour (1961)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
11/16
11/16:
I've never thought it would be possible, but two actresses whom I hate the most appear in the same film: Shirley MacLaine
and Audrey Hepburn.
As the story overshadows the cast, three quarters of The Children's Hour, which is a remake of These Three,
seem to go well, keeping up my interest. Then, it starts to fall apart at the seams when Shirley MacLaine and Audrey Hepburn
have a scene together which feels more fitting for daytime soap opera.
At the end, Audrey Hepburn goes for a walk which lasts for approximately four minutes before turning around to walk back
to the house for a full minute. Man, talk about a drag. I was thinking of either '7' or '8' up to that point
before settling for '5'. If the whole sequence of events was replaced with courtroom scenes, I would've kept the original
rating. Ironically, the American Film Institute nominated The Children's Hour for Top 10 Courtroom Drama Films. My
goodness, they must be idiots.
My argument is the same every time I see Audrey Hepburn in a film: she has always been a model or rather an ornamental
decoration but never an actress. William Wyler lets me down big time when he decided to focus on her looks toward the end. If
he replaced Audrey Hepburn with more competent actress, the film would've worked out based on the strength of the story.
Shirley MacLaine is okay; she doesn't try to get out of the way to steal any of the scenes. It's her co-star who
constantly does it, even putting her face out just to remind everybody how "cute" she looks. Having little to work
with, James Garner looks suited for TV work. Actually, he sued Warner Brothers to be released from his contract for
Maverick, and The Children's Hour was the first film he worked on afterwards.
Fay Bainter is the winner who got rewarded with an Oscar nomination for playing the grandmother. She does a good job,
but I hate her character, regardless. In fact, she's typical of many parents today because they won't believe their
kid is a bad seed. Unfortunately, the child actors are annoying to put up with, but there's one who gets a special "fuck you"
from me: Karen Balkin as Mary Tilford. Thanks to her father who was a television executive, this was the only
film of Karen Balkin's career as a child star, and she would do another thirteen years later before flaming out for good.
Now, I want to talk more about Mary's behavior. What she has is oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). The
symptoms include being defiant, arguing with adults, displaying vindictiveness toward people in authority, and refusing
to obey. They have angry outbursts and have a hard time controlling their temper. Moreover, they tend to be pathological liars and
would say anything, even if it's totally irrational, just to get out of the situation.
To be diagnosed with ODD, it has to last longer than six months and be excessive as compared to what's usual for a child at her age,
and there's no cure for it. The next level of ODD is conduct disorder (CD). But Mary doesn't have it because, in order to
qualify, she has to show aggression toward people or animals, destroy property, and display a pattern of theft or deceit. If
her ODD is left unchecked by not receiving treatment, it's probable she'll advance to the next stage.
Based on my experience, Mary is more of '5' on a scale from 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest. I've known a few, both girls
and boys, who were truly '9' or '10'. So, The Children's Hour is actually a good film to learn some about the behavior
disorder which is often occurs among low-income kids.
There's one part that bothers me the most, and it's when the two girls were confronted about what happened. The correct way of
handling the situation is to put them in separate rooms for interrogation and then compare their stories to see if
they match up. Apparently, the first mistake is letting Mary have full control of the situation so she can intimidate the
other girl. The second mistake is putting words in her mouth such as explaining the situation and then asking her, "Is that
what happened or not?" That's how it happened with the McMartin Preschool Abuse case, resulting in zero convictions.
On the other hand, the way lesbianism, an idea that's conceived by Mary from reading the forbidden book, was handled leaves me
feeling peeved. The tragic ending is a huge insult to gays and lesbians. Basically, the film says homosexuality is
a sin, and to escape it, suicide is the only answer. If Katharine Hepburn was originally cast, she would've seen to it
the topic be handled with justice. I think either the higher powers forced her to drop out or she was simply too old to be cast.
All in all, The Children's Hour could've succeeded, but the filmmakers made a lot of mistakes.
Child's Play (1972)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/15
2/15:
The sight of the dopey-looking Beau Bridges walking down the halls kick-starts Child's Play.
It's not that film with the demonic doll but rather about satanic behaviors among Catholic schoolboys, leaving the school
authorities bewildered. Although it appears James Mason and Robert Preston (whose role was supposed to go to Marlon Brando who
was coming off The Godfather, but he got thrown out by the producer for wanting to make some changes to the script which
led him to be cast in Last Tango in Paris; the rumor about Brando not wanting the role because of the fear of being upstaged
by James Mason is factually untrue) give good performances, they undermine the film by acting stiff and talking too much.
Bored to tears by enduring so many "being a teacher is everything" speeches, I lost interest at the hour mark
and didn't care much for the anticlimactic revelation. Considering the fact that Sidney Lumet is the director, I was
expecting more, but he would make up for it in the next picture: Serpico.
One of the biggest problems is the paucity of teachers and students involved; it's hard to believe this is an
actual school. In reality, when the situation becomes serious enough, they usually call for the police, but the idea is never
discussed by the church officials. Sometimes, the Vatican is consulted, and they may send out the appropriate personnel to
deal with such strange matters.
In the meantime, there's the lack of interaction when it comes to students who are only shown whenever bad things are
happening; otherwise, they're one-dimensional and have no personality. Beau Bridges is unconvincing and doesn't do much.
Ditto for his priest colleague who's another wasted character.
All in all, Child's Play has The Omen-like potential, but the incessant talk by the two principal characters
virtually kills it.
Child's Play (1988)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
Child's Play is a lame horror film with the same Friday the 13th formula that's been used too many times.
But this time, it involves a doll. How pathetic is this: a spoiled kid who gets what he wants? No wonder why I was rooting
for Chucky to kill him.
Chris Sarandon gives a nice performance to prevent the film from being total trash. When it comes to annoying characters,
Chucky tops the odious red-haired boy from Problem Child.
All in all, I hated watching Child's Play back then and still do today.
Child's Play 2 (1990)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
Filled with poor characters, unintelligent story, and "yeah, right" moments, Child's Play 2 is a terrible piece of crap
that's a stupid waste of time.
Simply put, everything has been nonsense, and it isn't even a horror film. If Chucky is turning into a human
being, it'll be believable if he's killed after being thrown through the car windshield.
Anyway, why was the doll remade? What's the significance? Oh, yes...to make an ungodly amount of money from the
sequels. Guess what? I still don't believe Andy, either.
All in all, once is enough, but twice is going too far.
Child's Play 3 (1991)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
Oh, no...not another sequel.
There's nothing new in Child's Play 3. Stupid as bananas, it's more of the same and is therefore boring as hell.
All in all, Child's Play 3 belongs in the incinerator.
China Moon (1994)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/20, 3/20
1/20:
China Moon is an outstanding stylish neo-noir of who's fooling who in the tradition of
Body Heat and Double Indemnity.
Instead of William Hurt and Kathleen Turner, it's Ed Harris and Madeleine Stowe stirring up things. As a bonus treat,
Benicio del Toro takes the place of Mickey Rourke. Charles Dance is also excellent as the sinister philandering husband.
The results are terrific with an absorbing plot and plenty of twists. Benicio del Toro and Charles Dance were once bad guys
in different Bond films, and now, they do it again. By the way, first-time director John Bailey used to be Lawrence
Kasdan's cinematographer for several pictures, but he didn't work with him during Body Heat.
At first, I thought the setting was alongside the coastline of either Georgia or South Carolina because of the absence of heat or
humidity, but it turned out to be Florida (Lakeland, Barstow, Tampa, and St. Petersburg) just like in Body Heat. If
you notice how clear the water is when Ed Harris and Madeleine Stowe went for a swim off the row boat which was incidentally
built by Benicio's father, it's most definitely Rainbow Springs State Park which is located near Dunnellon. Yet if I think about it,
why did they dump the body there where it could be easily seen, no matter how deep the water was?
There are big questions. Why would a guy cheat on somebody beautiful like Madeleine Stowe? Shame on her character's husband.
Why would Kyle (Ed Harris) throw away his code of ethics when he could've called in the killing as justifiable homicide?
The explanation of the events leading up to it would've held up. What was Kyle thinking at the end? He should've known
better in terms of handling the situation like...getting a lawyer right away to protect himself once he figured out the angle.
There are two things I found funny in regard to Madeleine Stowe. One is her character's last name is Munro. She was
also Cora Munro two years earlier in The Last of the Mohicans. However, here's the situation: China Moon was
filmed in 1991 but saw its theatrical release delayed for three years due to Orion's bankruptcy. The second is: if you observe
closely when Madeleine shot the gun toward Charles Dance, she's wearing an ear plug which gives away the idea that it was a
possible setup right from the start, which turns out to be true, but her character had already fallen for Kyle despite the
plan of using him for a fall guy. That's the difference between China Moon and Body Heat.
All in all, if you loved Body Heat, you'll love China Moon.
3/20:
China Moon is an all-around outstanding neo-noir with Ed Harris, Madeleine Stowe, Benicio del Toro, and
Charles Dance.
All in all, I'll be watching China Moon again.
Chinatown (1974)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
9/04, 5/06, 1/09, 10/10, 5/21
5/06:
Chinatown is the quintessential neo-noir picture.
Everything about it is meticulously crafted which starts with Robert Towne's screenplay that's followed up with
the exquisite cinematography. Do you want to know what blows my mind away? It's the fact that The Towering Inferno won
the Oscar for Best Cinematography. What a joke.
Under the guidance of Roman Polanski, the neo-noir
aspect is buoyed by the cast which includes Jack Nicholson, Faye Dunaway, and John Huston, among others.
The final line "Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown" is unforgettable.
All in all, Chinatown is the best neo-noir picture ever made.
1/09:
From the brilliant opening scene when Jake Gittes tells Curly not to eat his Venetian blinds to the ominous ending
with an unforgettable final line, Chinatown is bar none the greatest neo-noir picture ever made.
I love how John Huston bridges the connection from film noir to neo-noir by being the director of
The Maltese Falcon and making a powerful appearance as the nefarious old man who raises the stakes even higher in
Chinatown. Larger than life, he hasn't lost the touch.
All in all, Chinatown is a sublime neo-noir masterpiece that has no equal.
10/10:
"Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown."
This line says everything what Chinatown is all about. What a beautiful film with an unbeatable cast.
All in all, Chinatown is a top twenty masterpiece.
5/21:
Chinatown is the number one film of the neo-noir genre, and there's no contest.
It starts with the brilliant script by Robert Towne. Then, Roman Polanski picks up the rest by having his go-to guy in
Jack Nicholson to pair up with Faye Dunaway who makes her mark as the selfless but damaged femme fatale. The final
stroke of the masterful cast is getting John Huston to play the feared Noah Cross. To cap it all off is the stunning
cinematography by John A. Alonzo.
There hasn't been anything like Chinatown before or since then. What I love is the pace that runs at a normal speed.
Jack Nicholson's character has his own language which is a lot of evasive talk with the intention of saying as little as
possible, yet it's been class all the way through. The clues are there for the taking, and I'm never cheated at any minute.
I have a lot of favorite Jake Gittes moments: the intro when he tells Curly not to eat his Venetian blinds, Roman Polanski
coming up to him and then cutting his nose for being a nosy snoop, Evelyn Mulwray standing behind him as he tells his Chinaman
joke, calling the guy at the Hall of Records a "weasel," getting into a fight out in the orange groves, and, of
course, one of the greatest endings ever when he's advised, "Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown."
Interestingly, part of the plot is true for Jack Nicholson. Not knowing it for many years until just after
Chinatown was theatrically released, he was raised by his mother's parents who acted as his parents instead of
grandparents. Jack's real mother pretended to be his sister. He also had an aunt for a sister.
All in all, there are a handful of movies that I've seen over ten times, and Chinatown is among them because it's
so good.
Chinese Box (1997)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
4/16
4/16:
Chinese Box looks like it should be a winner, but the story is uninteresting and choppy to follow.
Jeremy Irons is great as always. Gong Li is beautiful, but I think she should've been better utilized with more dialogue
to take advantage of the romance. Otherwise, she's a mannequin.
Maggie Cheung isn't bad. However, I fail to see what she has to do with the grand scheme of things; is it to show the demise
of Hong Kong during the takeover? I understand Wayne Wang wanted to create a metaphor, but I'm not sensing the connection.
The abuse of her character would've happened, regardless.
All in all, Chinese Box lacks clarity despite the excellent location shots in Hong Kong.
Chocolat (2000)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/08
2/08:
Chocolat is another failure at the hands of Lasse Hallström.
As indicated by the performances, the amount of pretentiousness has left me overwhelmed. I've never been a fan of Juliette
Binoche, and apart from her looks, I still fail to see what makes the actress appealing. She doesn't know how to be
effective at the right time and still can't lead a film.
Judi Dench is another stinker who helps to ruin the show, too. All she does is overact in a melodramatic manner by overplaying
the serious frown. Carrie-Anne Moss is average and has no idea what it takes to be a good actress.
Johnny Depp enters the picture midway. As usual, he turns in a bland one-dimensional performance, and it won't matter if
he didn't appear at all. So, this leaves Alfred Molina who might be the only potential saving grace, but his character
turns out to be tiresome.
The plot has me unimpressed. Along with her daughter, the mother enters a religious
village, makes batches of chocolate treats, and use them to uplift everybody's spirits. Yeah, *yawn*...wonderful. In back of
her mind, she must be going, "Ka-chinggggg!"
All in all, having too much chocolate is a bad thing, and that's what happened in Chocolat.
The Chocolate War (1988)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/20
5/20:
Featuring a parade of assholes, The Chocolate War is an unlikeable mean-spirited picture.
There's nothing wrong with actor-turned-director Keith Gordon's direction; if that's how Robert Cormier's book (of which I
didn't read) went down, then so be it. The problem is the material isn't appealing, but yes, I recognize the issues
and have encountered them all my life.
My problem with the premise is it's too simplistic. There are only two teachers working at the religious private school,
so where are the parents? Don't they have some influence? Tim Hunter did a much, much better job of getting away with the
absence of authority in Over the Edge and River's Edge.
The other is more of a "what?" It's just fucking chocolates, and it's so boring to sell them all the time. I'm sure
these idiots can try to be more creative by branching out to other areas for fundraising such as car wash, lawn mowing/snow
shoveling service, book fair, talent show, ice cream social, and raffle. Think about it: 400 students, and each mows a lawn
for ten bucks; this comes to $4,000 easy, and that's 10% of the goal. Best of all, it's useful and serves a purpose.
Amazingly enough, given the high quality production values, The Chocolate War drew a budget of $500,000 yet only
grossed mere $300,000 at the box office. That's bad enough when it could've had success at any point of time the last ten
years given how negative the country has been including the disgusting rise of utterly pointless hazing practices at
university fraternities.
If there's any consolation, none of the actors went on to be stars despite the film serving as a possible springboard
for many. There's one I'm familiar with, and it's Wallace Langham who played a writer, along with Jeremy Piven, in
The Larry Sanders Show.
All in all, drawing a lot of parallels with Lord of the Flies, The Chocolate War isn't effective enough to be a
teaching tool.
Choose Me (1984)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
8/14
8/14:
Choose Me is a catchy romantic neo-noir with no story.
I love the atmosphere, the use of colors, and the side-to-side photography. Robert Altman made the fatal mistake by going
overboard with the latter in The Long Goodbye. The script is top-notch that's full of ironies with great one-liners.
The big reason why the film works is Keith Carradine. I like his character and, most of all, his directness. Lesley Ann
Warren, who although doesn't live up to her character well, plays along with the show. And so do Rae Dawn Chong and
Geneviève Bujold.
All in all, thanks to Keith Carradine, Choose Me is a lot of fun.
Chopping Mall (1986)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
9/12
9/12:
This is a true story: I rented Chopping Mall from Netflix, and when the DVD came, I found it literally chopped into two.
Anyway, it's a typical Corman picture: misleading title, low budget, cheap design, unknown cast, ripped-off
concepts, and crappy screenplay. There are two big mistakes.
The first is the exploding head. It's a concept that's stolen from Scanners which should've been done with the
useless screaming female character. Second, John Terlesky's Mike shouldn't be eliminated so early. Once he's dead, there goes
the momentum. It's been downhill from there on.
The easiest thing to do while at the mall is to walk outside of the door from the rear since all stores have backdoors
for loading and unloading purposes. If not, then climb to the top of the roof and get out of there through the tied-up bed
sheets. Of course, you won't find a sporting goods store in any mall carrying semi-automatic weapons during the 80's.
Oh, I'll save you the disappointment: no character is ever chopped up.
All in all, Chopping Mall is a so-so horror picture that'll beat going to the mall nowadays.
Christina's House (2000)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/18
9/18:
What is it going to take to sell a bad horror film on an unsuspecting viewer?
It's simple: look at the movie poster, and you'll have your answer. I fell victim to that. Anyway,
Christina's House was going okay for an hour with a lot of cheap scare-'ems moments, but I was more disturbed by the
father's incestuous behavior toward his daughter even though Jerry Wasserman's bizarre presence as the sheriff came in a
close second.
As soon as the killer's identity was revealed (which was predictable by the first minute he showed up), the movie fell
apart during the last half-hour. Had it ended ten minutes early, what I saw hitherto might have been acceptable given
the run-of-the-mill theme.
The close-ups were too many and annoying to put up with. I kept seeing Allison Lange's heavy makeup and wondered if she's
ugly in real life without it. Ditto for the girl with the overdone red lipstick. By the way, Allison isn't related to
either Jessica or Hope Lange; otherwise, I would've cried, "Nepotism!"
For a bit while, I thought about the booby trap in the foyer where the floor opened straight down underneath the rug, causing
a fall toward the man-made pot that's lined up with circular saw blades, and concluded the idea to be impossible. These
two floors would have to be at least twenty feet apart to allow some leeway in the opening; otherwise, it isn't a
big drop as depicted.
After the dead body was found in the water at the front of the house, everybody seemed to forget about it afterwards. There
were no cops around, too. That's because the weird noises inside the house were more important.
All in all, don't fooled by the DVD cover of Christina's House because it's anything but.
Christine (1983)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
Although John Carpenter is the director, Christine doesn't work for a horror film.
It has a nice, albeit somewhat corny, first half until Arnie, who's played by Keith Gordon, starts going wrong. From there on, the
movie falls apart like wheels coming off a car. Perhaps it's John Stockwell, Arnie's friend, who disappears but comes back
with a tiny amount of screen time. He's the best thing going since his acting is better than the rest of the cast.
The psychological aspect John Carpenter keeps presenting is so obvious that it has become lame over time. While this is
going on, the story isn't too bad, but there aren't enough details about the car. During the second half, I notice many
characters drop out like flies after being shown for a while early on. Arnie is the worst. I can't stand
him, prefering the girl, his friend, or anybody else with the exception of Harry Dean Stanton.
Logic is often punch-holed throughout. Untrained people are capable of running as fast as twelve miles per hour maximum for no
more than a minute if they don't tear their hamstring or achilles yet. Hence, it's impossible for a car not to overtake them, no matter
how slow it goes. In other words, Christine should've mowed down anyone.
Also, when somebody is hit by a car, it'll be impounded by the police for investigation which will last for a while. So,
it's a surprise Arnie got his car back quickly. Also, he'll be suspected of Darnell's murder. I've been confused whether it
was Arnie driving Christine the whole time or it was the car itself. If it's the latter, then what's the reason?
If it's jealousy, well...I don't get it.
All in all, if Keith Gordon got replaced, Christine would be better.
Christmas with the Kranks (2004)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/06
9/06:
So...this is what Christmas must have been like in Nazi Germany?
I thought a modern film starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Dan Aykroyd couldn't be that bad. Then, add Tim Allen to the mix.
Maybe it would be okay. Boy, it turns out I was dead wrong, but they aren't the problem.
Christmas with the Kranks is basically a re-creation of Christmas in Nazi Germany. The poor writing drowns the terrible
premise that's riddled with wrong messages.
I didn't see anything wrong with a husband and wife vacationing on a cruise
during Christmas. But one town doesn't think so! What the hell? Wake up and smell the coffee. It isn't Peyton Place
anymore. This is America where privacy is everything.
If I ever see the Spike kid in real life, I'm going to make a spike out of him. By the way, I never got the answer
to the question why the daughter was coming back from the Peace Corps mission which is supposed to be a two-year
commitment. Looking at her, I'll be in a state of disbelief if she volunteered for it.
All in all, I can't believe I watched a 21st century Nazi picture about Christmas.
Chung Hing sam lam (1994)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/15
10/15:
I was following the story of Chung Hing sam lam (Chungking Express) for a good while during the first forty
minutes, and then all of a sudden, the horses had been changed in midstream.
From there on, I was confused, trying to figure out whether or not the people were the same because I normally can't tell
Asians apart. Hence, the more appropriate English title should've been Chungking Pointless.
The movie is about an intellectually disabled girl with ADHD symptoms falling in love with a traffic cop who can't put two
and two together to save his own life. In short, it's a Hong Kong version of Jean-Luc Goddard's À bout de souffle.
The cinematography works, but the director tries too hard to score points for being cute which proves to be the film's undoing.
Because there's no story, there's nothing to look forward to but the ending.
All in all, Chungking Pointless falls apart due to the ill-advised gimmick by featuring two unconnected stories
in the same film.
The Cincinnati Kid (1965)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/06
5/06:
There isn't a whole lot to be found in The Cincinnati Kid.
No matter how many stars there are in the cast, you cannot make an exciting movie out of poker. It has a suspense-packed
scene that Steve McQueen handled well acting-wise, and that's about it. The constant highlight of the show
instead is Ann-Margret flaunting her body constantly. But I don't think that's what the film is meant to be about.
The acting is lame, and the black kid is a prime example of what I mean. I know Steve McQueen likes to be pensive,
but damn, he should learn how to change it up more. At the end, there's a high-stakes final game that fail to grab me.
All in all, The Cincinnati Kid is a one-pair loser.
Cinderella Liberty (1973)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/21
9/21:
Cinderella Liberty is a long, dull movie about a dopey sailor falling in love with a whore as he tries everything to
help her out.
Um, why? A whore is a whore, period. There's too much take, take, take on her part, and the sailor doesn't get much out of
it except free sex and some feeling. She must have exclaimed to herself, "I can't believe my good luck!"
The sailor can do a hell lot better than her by being involved with someone who's in an amenable
situation. Yet why does he choose this particular whore? The boy is no help, either. Of course, the sailor gets dumped with
him while she skips out of town, and the end. Talk about a loser left holding the bag.
At least, James Caan is convincing from start to finish, and he's the only reason why the film has a pulse. However, Marsha
Mason is average; the sight of her pencil-thin eyebrows makes me think how horribly she'll age just like the meth heads.
It eventually happened, and she gained a lot of weight, too.
After seeing some films, I'm starting to realize how bad of a director Mark Rydell is. The way he controls the mood
is manipulative. Also, he puts unlikely people together through contrivances while tossing several
quirky characters into the mix for good measure. Hence, this movie is his ultimate blueprint.
All in all, An Officer and a Gentleman and The Last Detail are much superior to Cinderella Liberty with
the last two that were authored by Darryl Ponicsan.
Citizen Cohn (1992)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/20
1/20:
This is James Woods at his most arrogant.
I've never heard of Roy Cohn until I saw Citizen Cohn. In retrospective, I feel blessed to have been ignorant. Wow,
the guy is among the worst Americans ever lived along with Joseph McCarthy, Richard Nixon, J. Edgar Hoover, Jesse
Jackson, and Al Sharpton. Roy Cohn was Donald Trump's lawyer for twelve years; if the connection isn't
sinister enough, I don't what else is.
"You knew when you were in Cohn's presence you were in the presence of pure evil" is how Victor A. Kovner described Roy Cohn.
A closeted Jewish homosexual, he hated gays, women, Communists, and Jews, and died broke in 1986 from complications of AIDS,
shortly after being disbarred. The whole time, Roy Cohn was misleading the public and himself that it was liver disease. Donald
Trump immediately dropped him when he found out, prompting Roy to say that he "pisses ice water."
As for the famous case of his career, Roy Cohn engaged in judicial and legal improprieties that resulted in death
penalty for Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. Although the former was actually guilty, the latter was somewhat involved.
Alan Dershowitz wrote an article which stated
"the FBI 'enhanced' evidence, got witnesses to 'improve' their stories and worked hand-in-hand with the judge." In other words,
Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were framed by the United States government.
Iva Schlesinger loaned Roy Cohn $100,000 at 8% annual interest on January 3, 1967, but he never paid her back until
she sued him. It took full seventeen years before he started to, only because he was in the process of disbarment,
which came to $127,584 when it should have been $370,002. That's what Roy Cohn was: a thief.
Anyway, James Woods gives the finest performance of his career. He's mesmerizing. Although Citizen Cohn was made for
TV, a precedent should've been set by giving James Woods an Oscar
nomination. His co-star, Joe Don Baker, is excellent and somewhat looks like the man himself: Joseph McCarthy.
All in all, Citizen Cohn is about evil with James Woods relishing every bit of it.
Citizen Kane (1941)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
8/04, 10/06, 4/12, 11/15
10/06:
For the sake of film appreciation, knowing the story behind the scenes of Citizen Kane will aid you in
understanding what the hoopla is about.
All in all, no Best Films List is valid if Citizen Kane isn't among the top five.
4/12:
When Citizen Kane was released, Orson Welles reached the top of the mountain and became an immortal god of cinema.
Afterwards, he had nowhere to go but down...down he went hard. It puts everything about cinema into perspective. An important
film for numerous reasons, it's one of the best-shot works of art in terms of storytelling through the power of cinematography.
The controversy behind the scenes is the reason for its mammoth reputation which makes the whole thing fascinating.
All in all, Orson Welles will never escape from his association with Citizen Kane.
11/15:
Citizen Kane is among the best films made.
It remains unsurpassed in terms of cinematic achievement. To make for a spellbinding viewing is how busy and interesting many
scenes are by using different photography techniques. Sometimes, I had to pause the movie to look at everything. That's part
of Orson Welles' charm.
The final ten minutes sums up everything in terms of what it's about which is the neverending, unsolvable goose
chase of why the person became who he was. Although the "Rosebud" mystery seems to simplify things, there are
questions left unanswered. Again, that's part of Orson Welles' charm, and he was putting on a magic show.
All in all, Citizen Kane is a top five masterpiece.
Citizen X (1995)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
5/06, 2/17
5/06:
When I say this for Citizen X, it's a compliment: I've never seen a film that tackles a subject as macabre
while being so damned funny.
One of the best I've seen on serial killers, the dry humor works throughout. Impeccable acting is
evident, and the three who shine the most are Donald Sutherland, Stephen Rea, and Joss Ackland.
Having the first two together is like a match and kerosene combusting together, and they both ignite the screen.
The writing is excellent, too, giving everybody great lines.
All in all, Citizen X is a phenomenal picture about a real-life Russian serial killer.
2/17:
Shot on location in Hungary, Citizen X is the story of how an infamous serial killer was captured in the USSR which
took numerous years because of the bureaucrats and limitations in technology and manpower.
What's not mentioned is that by investigating over 150,000 citizens, the authorities incidentally solved more than 1,000
unrelated crimes including 95 murder and 245 rape cases. I suppose it's what you call "looking at the bright side of a
negative situation."
I'm not a fan of Stephen Rea, but he gives the performance of his career. Donald Sutherland is special. Sustaining the quality
of the cast, Max von Sydow, Joss Ackland, and Jeffrey DeMunn round out the rest.
Director Chris Gerolmo has done a great job with the screenplay, keeping me interested despite the frustrating
bureaucracy while men try their earnest best to catch the serial killer. He also makes me care for the lead characters who
have become unlikely heroes based on the hardships they've gone through.
All in all, Citizen X is a serious, straightforward serial killer picture that's far better than
The Silence of the Lambs.
City Dragon (1995)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
*face palm*
There's a little concept that's called "story." If none can be found, there's no movie. Apparently, nobody associated with
City Dragon had heard of it. Instead, I'm treated to 100 minutes of rapping dialogue, soft porn, and a lot of nothing.
Oh, yeah...there's martial arts stuff thrown into the mix, but it's few and far between.
Out of the blue, a bunch of males decide to have a fight with the protagonist, Ray, who can pick up nunchuks that happens to be on the
ground and shows off his skill with it for a minute before proceeding to take out everybody. Also, at the end, when Ray has a finale
battle with John, the baby is left on the ground, and they proceed to fight while the baby is still laying there.
Often shirtless, Ray can approach a hot-looking female and say the cheesiest pickup lines ever, and she'll sleep with him right
away. One of them agrees to marry him, but he cheats on her with his boss many times. She finds out about it and leaves him,
but at the end, she's back with him. But why?
While I was reading off the opening credits, I happened to notice a name that's mentioned five times in four different ways.
"Philthy" Phil Phillips, Philthy Phil, Phil Philips (no, that's not a misspelling), and Philip Phillips. Also, MC Kung Fu and
Stan Derain, which appears four times, are one and the same. Maybe I'm stupid, but why his name twice as
an "executive producer" and a "producer"? Aren't they the same thing but more responsibilities?
All in all, I hope to never see anything like City Dragon again.
City for Conquest (1940)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
Although I've enjoyed some parts in City for Conquest until end of the boxing match, the film is a disaster.
It's a film noir in the absence of a plot. The narrator is terrible who keeps killing my motivation. Whenever he
appears, I can't bear the sight of him. What does he have to do with the whole thing?
Some characters including Anthony Quinn's are abruptly dropped throughout while the boxing scenes are pathetic.
James Cagney holds his own, but he's too old to play the boy. Every time Ann Sheridan is shown, she's either smiling
hard or at the verge of tears.
I've never seen Elia Kazan on screen as an actor, and he plays Googi. After seeing his performance, I'll say he was wise to
stay behind the camera not long afterwards for the rest of his life. Losing steam after the end of the boxing match,
the rest becomes drawn out.
All in all, City for Conquest is a weak film noir that doesn't work on the whole.
City Hall (1996)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/04, 5/05, 7/20
5/05:
Forget everything in City Hall.
Instead, focus your eyes on Al Pacino who's at his thrilling best as the corrupt mayor John Pappas. His funeral speech is
powerful and moving. Unfortunately, the movie is slow except when Al Pacino appears.
Nevertheless, the story is interesting with a lot of politics involved. It's a labyrinth to navigate through.
Although inconsistent, John Cusack plays an intriguing character, and Danny Aiello does enough to make
his role work. Bridget Fonda isn't bad; it's better than her usual.
All in all, Al Pacino is at his vintage best in City Hall.
7/20:
Peter Burton is back from True Colors and ready to redeem himself after selling out so many people to be a major player
in Congress.
However the size of John Cusack's role is for City Hall, Al Pacino is captivating from start to finish. The funeral
speech is among the greatest scenes of his career. As a result, he should've gotten an Oscar nomination. On the other
hand, Danny Aiello is a perfect New Yorker.
The story is interesting. There's a lot of corruption going on, and multi-million dollar deals are made between
a couple of men in power because they happen to be friends and it's a favor either way. It only takes one bizarre shooting
incident to bring them all down through paper trail.
All in all, the reason to see City Hall is Al Pacino who's at his thrilling best.
City Heat (1984)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
Wow, Burt Reynolds and Clint Eastwood are in the same picture for City Heat, but it didn't work.
What an awful film. Clint Eastwood is fine but not right for the role. Either he's miscast or needs a better director. Burt
Reynolds is so horrendous that I feel compelled to ask him, "Are you fucking serious?" Some of the reasons why it failed are:
too much gunplay, terrible acting, nonexistent story, and bad attempts at neo-noir.
By the way, an executive at Universal Pictures once told Clint Eastwood and Burt Reynolds, respectively, during the same meeting
in 1959 the following: "You have a chip on your tooth, your Adam's apple sticks out too far, and you talk too slow" and
"You have no talent."
All in all, City Heat is an embarrassing mess.
City of Ghosts (2002)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/18
10/18:
Matt Dillon...the director?
To date, City of Ghosts is the only film he has ever directed. It's an auspicious endeavor and a good entry into the
neo-noir genre. Shot on location in Cambodia and Thailand, it's also strange and unique but, more importantly,
atmospheric.
Starring Matt Dillon is the more the merrier, and he turns in a solid performance. James Caan, Gérard Depardieu, and
Stellan Skarsgård of Good Will Hunting lend their support. An unsung performance comes from Kem Sereyvuth, a
nonprofessional Cambodian actor, as Sok.
Notice Sok carrying a porcupine ball. Found mainly in Southeast Asia, the edible fruit is called "durian" which has a
notorious reputation for its super-strong smell, leading to banishment from certain hotels and public transportation.
There are four signs posted in Singapore mass transit, and they're: No Smoking, No Eating and Drinking, No Flammable Goods,
and No Durians.
All in all, Matt Dillon can direct.
City of Joy (1992)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/15
7/15:
City of Joy is the third film for me from Roland Joffé's oeuvre.
There's a constant application of his trademarks: big-name white star, exotic locations, high realism by taking advantage of the
native inhabitants, and a wrestle with morality. What I like is the human side of the story: how people manage to
survive the slums in a Third World country like India. When I think of it, overpopulation immediately comes to my mind
along with the lack of infrastructure in depth.
Who can live this way in spite of the contaminated water and poor air quality? But they just do. It's why the movie makes for
an arresting viewing. Although Patrick Swayze is the star of the show, Om Puri gives the most moving performance. In fact,
if the movie was only about him and his family, it might have gotten a rating of '10' from me.
So, what went wrong? Well, for starters, the film is too ambitious. The problems are complicated,
and to come up with solutions to finish off the film is impossible. That's why the fairy tale ending doesn't work.
It's simple and neat, leaving many questions behind. The sub-conflicts don't flow well as they're unconnected to each other.
The other problem is Patrick Swayze. There's no transformation within his character. He's still himself throughout, no matter
what. Either Patrick Swayze is miscast or isn't suitable for this type of picture. I don't like the moments when his
character was forced to justify his actions because he has to feel bad about what the poor Indians are coping with; it's at once
disingenuous and manipulative. On the other hand, Pauline Collins' performance is okay.
All in all, City of Joy is a noble filmmaking effort, but I wish Roland Joffé didn't have to tackle so much.
A Civil Action (1998)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
9/10, 5/19
9/10:
John Travolta selected many great roles during the 90's, and playing a lawyer in A Civil Action is one of them.
He's at his vintage best. Robert Duvall is great, too. That's why they're respected Hollywood veterans. The
story is interesting but typical as compared to The Rainmaker. But I'm still a sucker for courtroom movies
because they're always compelling to watch.
The film doesn't focus too much on the merits of an environmental pollution lawsuit but rather
how lawyers operate and work on their cases. There's no clear explanation why Jan Schlictmann decided to change who he was
after he had a Siddhartha-like moment by following the river to the tannery factory that caused the death of many children.
I read once in a magazine when Bruce Willis wished he had a moment of silence during a scene. Well,
John Travolta did it, transforming his character into a hero.
All in all, John Travolta is the reason to watch A Civil Action.
5/19:
John Travolta scores a winner in A Civil Action by going from a man who's motivated by money and finer things to a
lawyer who only wants to serve people.
It's a remarkable performance and the right kind for John Travolta to dig deep and thus change his personality over time. On
the other hand, the 1980 environmental pollution case, which happened in Woburn, Massachusetts, is interesting to follow and can
happen anywhere. Somewhere along the way is a lesson of ethics about what matters more: money or justice. Although having
Robert Duvall on board is nice, his character's antics are stupid, taking a lot away from the film. Hence, there's no reason
for him getting an Oscar nomination.
All in all, A Civil Action shows how lawyers operate.
Clash by Night (1952)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/08
10/08:
Clash by Night has a slow first half before picking up the pace and ends well at a high note.
The performances rendered by Barbara Stanwyck (who hardly put in much of effort), Robert Ryan (who can do
better), Marilyn Monroe (in a limited role), and Keith Andes (who got lucky despite his limitations and would commit suicide
in 2005) are fine, but it's Paul Douglas who steals the show. I feel for his character and can sympathize with him.
Fritz Lang's direction isn't bad, but he wastes a lot of time on trivial things like seagulls, fish, seals,
and secondary characters. Also, there's no way a pretty girl like Marilyn Monroe would work in a fish factory. Come on,
please. For a while, I considered giving the film a '4' until I began to see the central point. By the way,
Clash by Night isn't film noir but is rather heavy in drama.
I had a hard time believing Mae Doyle's attraction to Earl due to his smarmy leechlike personality. If Robert Ryan
was replaced by Lawrence Tierney or maybe Marlon Brando, it would work better. The message is, in order
to save a relationship, to have the priorities in order while easing up on the selfishness; in short, it's the reverse
version of A Doll's House.
All in all, Clash by Night is a solid drama picture.
Class (1983)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/24
1/24:
So...that's how it is for the rich people in Class, huh?
Well, you can't unsee this: Rob Lowe and Andrew McCarthy in women's bras and underwear. But it served as a
signal of what's to come which caught me totally off-guard. For an hour, I was thinking, "Yeah, okay...so, what's the plot
here?" Then, the damning twist revealed itself despite the display of gross behavior that's put on by the frat boys.
That's the movie right there only that I'm disappointed with the outcome. So, all Skip can do is laugh about it and still be
friends with Jonathan in spite of him having slept with his mother. Um, right...carry on, I guess. Then again, it explains why
Skip is fucked in the head: the drugs, the drinking, and the stupid pranks. I think the filmmakers wanted to make the
perverted plot easier to swallow by mixing in the elements of 80's light comedy. As a result, the ending comes off as awkward.
Honestly, there's a lot of potential to begin with. The structure should be kept as it is: Jonathan unknowingly sleeps
with Skip's mother and has a rude awakening later at the mansion and Skip somehow finds out about it. But this time: Jonathan
stops right there out of embarrassment. The real question of the Greek tragedy is: how will Skip deal with it? That's
up to Rob Lowe to figure it out through acting which explains why Timothy Hutton ended up winning the Oscar for
Ordinary People. However, they cut too much out of Jacqueline Bisset's character who
was living a repressed life, but there's no reason to feel sorry for her: she married for his money.
Anyway, it's a solid debut for Rob Lowe and Andrew McCarthy as the latter gave the performance of his career yet
continued to repeat the same trademarks to death. There are first-timers, too, such as John Cusack, Lolita Davidovich, and
Virginia Madsen (she's the one who exposed her breasts during the get-together for the dance committee; that's her
character's fault for starting the fracas which serves as an excuse for the nudity). Alan Ruck can be instantly recognized as Ferris
Bueller's best friend.
All in all, if the direction could be slightly tweaked, Class would have acquired depth.
Class Action (1991)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
Class Action features a well-written story that's backed by strong acting performances, thanks to
Gene Hackman and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio.
Adroitly directed by Michael Apted, it's a complex film that'll pay off in dividends, and the ending is
great. I love how the conflict feels real, and it's interesting to watch the lawyers, who happen to be father and daughter,
on the opposing sides. Laurence Fishburne also stars.
All in all, Class Action is a different kind of courtroom picture.
Class of 1984 (1982)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/12, 3/23
1/12:
I saw Class of 1999 first and liked it, but I didn't realize it's a remake of Class of 1984.
The original is way better. It's nice to see Perry King again after he made a fool out of himself in
The Lords of Flatbush. I thought he would be a big star, but it never happened. Anyway, Perry King is fun to watch
in Class of 1984.
The best performance of the show has to go to Roddy McDowall who plays the poor, sad biology teacher. Suffering from a
nervous breakdown, he snaps one day and decides to pull a gun on his students in the hopes of trying to teach them something.
Although extreme, I feel for him during that moment.
Roddy McDowall also has the best scene when he reacted to the sight of skinned rabbits which turned out to be real but were
already dead. Honestly, Class of 1984 isn't far from the truth of what goes on in classrooms nowadays.
As a former teacher, I've seen similar incidents.
All in all, Class of 1984 may have been extreme in 1982, but not anymore.
3/23:
If I saw Class of 1984 back then, I would've thought of the film to be extreme, but today, it's quite accurate.
It's interesting how Mark L. Lester saw the future of education. The more urban the setting is, the closer
it is to reality. You may hear the motif "We Are/I Am the Future" many times, but it's true: they're the
future. Look at their behavior today, especially the adults: aggressive, stupid, and dangerous.
I've worked as a teacher, and there's always a Peter Stegman in every high school: bright and precocious but
waste of time for not giving a shit about himself. Strangely, Tim Van Patten seemed to have the makings of a superstar,
but the cardboardish Michael J. Fox ended up being the it guy, thanks to Back to the Future.
Perry King is terrific, and I know how his character feels. It's better to quit the job rather than fight the
unbelievability; the truth is: the administration knows what's going on but don't care while being highly paid. The best
acting performance has to go to Roddy McDowall. It's brilliant, especially when he's confronted with dead rabbits
and reaches the breaking point by holding his classroom hostage with a gun.
All in all, Class of 1984 is one of the most accurate movies made about the reality of education in the United States.
Class of 1999 (1990)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
9/11
9/11:
Not bad at all, Class of 1999 is The Terminator meet The Warriors in a school setting with some
Escape from New York thrown in.
For a low-budget movie, it's creative. The filmmakers knew what kind of risk they were taking on, knowing
it was going to come off as cheap-looking. That's why they had some veterans on board such as John P. Ryan, Pam Grier,
Malcolm McDowell, and Stacy Keach to score points in quality.
All in all, Class of 1999 isn't boring by any means.
Clay Pigeons (1998)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
1/24
1/24:
Clay Pigeons is a black comedy picture?
I'm not sure what people saw because it's never funny at any point. Yeah, the plot seems Fargo all
over again, but the formula is familiar as seen in Best Seller,
Point Break, Assassins, and
Switchback: the protagonist befriends a male and then slowly discovers he's a ruthless criminal.
Once again, Vince Vaughn steals the film, but he's let down by the cast. I hate Janeane Garofalo, and Joaquin Phoenix is a
terrible actor who's always using the same look. Scott Wilson is okay, having done this before while relying on his
reputation from In Cold Blood.
The biggest issue is the unbelievability. At the beginning, Clay had nothing to worry by reporting to the police
about what happened with Earl. The downside is he would have to come clean about the affair. Later, how is it
that Clay suddenly found Lester Long with the girl at the lake? Ditto for the FBI agent. Before that, she never knew the
description of the serial killer? It's impossible given Vince Vaughn is 6'5" tall. Only Barney Fife is at the
police station when he's sleeping? Aren't there supposed to be secretaries and dispatchers? Then again, why is he running the place all by
himself? Who the hell trusts him?
All in all, Clay Pigeons has nothing new to offer, but fans of Vince Vaughn can safely check it out.
Clean and Sober (1988)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/06
2/06:
Clean and Sober starts off well, has a fair middle, and finishes weakly.
Although it's an interesting picture, I don't feel convinced by Daryl's desire for the female. Neither is the fact that he's
addicted to drugs. Anyway, Michael Keaton is okay, and he does enough to make the film. Morgan Freeman has
some screen time before hitting big the following year.
All in all, Clean and Sober is blah.
Clear and Present Danger (1994)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
1/04, 2/05, 9/08, 8/18
9/08:
A thinking man's film, Clear and Present Danger is another thrilling ball of yarn from Tom Clancy and is
more improved as compared to Patriot Games.
Harrison Ford is an entertaining actor, and Jack Ryan is my favorite from him besides Indiana Jones. By far, the most
memorable character is Ernesto Escobar who's played by Miguel Sandoval. He has a great scene which takes place during a
batting practice session.
Speaking of villains, there aren't one, two, or three but many of them. Not only are they from the bad side, but they are
also from the good side. That's why the movie is interesting.
Among the President of the United States, Ernesto Escobar, James Ritter, and Félix Cortez, who's the biggest badass? It's
a good question. I'm not sure, but I admit they're all great in their own way. Henry Czerny, what a fabulous
performance. I love it when he goes "Boom." The same goes for Joaquim de Almeida who's unforgettable as the
Latin Jack Ryan. There are classic lines such as:
"The old Two-Step Potomac."
"I don't dance."
"Boom."
"Do you play tennis?"
"How dare you come in here and lecture me!"
"How dare you, sir?"
"Boom."
"Jack, computer theft is a serious crime."
"You are such a boy scout."
"The course of action I'd suggest is a course of action I can't suggest."
"Boom."
"How dare you come into this office and bark at me like some little junkyard dog? I am the President of the United States!"
"Boom."
The cast is great: Harrison Ford, Anne Archer, James Earl Jones, Willem Dafoe, Donald Moffat, Joaquim de Almeida,
Harris Yulin, Miguel Sandoval, and Henry Czerny.
All in all, Clear and Present Danger is the best Jack Ryan movie ever made.
8/18:
Clear and Present Danger is by far the best film of the Jack Ryan franchise.
The story is so good with many kinds of villains, and the acting, especially by Harrison Ford, Joaquim de Almeida,
Miguel Sandoval, Henry "Boom" Czerny, Harris Yulin, and Donald Moffat, is terrific. I like the other two:
The Hunt for Red October and Patriot Games. Yet Clear and Present Danger has more complicated plot,
making for a satisfying film.
The SUV ambush scene is well done even though it's unbelievable that Jack Ryan was the only one to survive it.
Interestingly, he was allowed to get away on the other side. It would've been dangerous and certainly not over for him.
The other best part is the confrontation between Jack Ryan and the President of the United States who couldn't
believe his ears, prompting him to say, "How dare you come in here and lecture me!" before following it up with "How dare you
come into this office and bark at me like some little junkyard dog? I am the President of the United States!"
All in all, Clear and Present Danger is fantastic.
Cleopatra (1963)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/12
10/12:
Congratulations, Cleopatra, for holding the distinction of the longest movie I've ever seen in my life.
Anyway...wow, that was long, and I'm trying to get over it. Although Cleopatra has been universally
panned by critics and filmgoers alike, I have to say it's not bad. Elizabeth Taylor is decent, but the rest of
the cast is too theatrical for my taste. Just tone it down, please. At the same time, the script is
somewhat incomprehensible and needs to be clarified more, so I can understand what's going on.
The biggest issue is the lack of emotional attachment among the characters. I mean, what do I care if some have died?
What do I know about them? Rome is in danger? Who cares? Rome eventually fell, but so what? Who cares about the
Romans? Egypt is a force to be reckoned with? Who cares? I don't care about all of that stuff. What's different about
Lawrence of Arabia is it made me care about the characters, thanks to the power of the Arabia conflict and the
desert. Take Ben-Hur. It was a triumph for Judah Ben-Hur to overcome the impossible odds which demonstrated his
character. Hence, the chariot race was an unbelievable spectacle. But Cleopatra, where's all of that? Hence, I feel
nothing.
At any rate, it deserves an Oscar for Best Cinematography because it's spectacular. In fact, the winningest feature is
Elizabeth Taylor's breasts. Every scene has her showing lots of cleavage, and her breasts are rock-hard in a shapely form.
Maybe the film is about her breasts after all, huh? Maybe they ought to re-title it as Cleobreastra, so
the confusion can be out of the way.
Historically speaking, most of what's shown is false. As for Cleopatra's facial appearance, she was a plain-looking, perhaps
ugly, woman who had the nose of a witch. It's still a matter of debate among historians, and we'll never know because she
lived more than 2,000 years ago. During the final scene, I thought Elizabeth Taylor would be naked from the waist above, as
the legend goes, prior to being bitten by an asp to recreate Cleopatra's suicide. Nope...it didn't happen this way.
All in all, Cleopatra is a very, very long movie that forced my eyes to work harder than they need to.
Clerks (1994)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
12/16
12/16:
Clerks is well-made for a low-budget picture.
It's hard to find faults, but there's one that precludes me from giving the movie a '10' or recommending
it to anyone: the atrocious, off-putting pornographic language. If Kevin Smith can cut it out while
retaining the same style, then Clerks is a winner.
I can relate to a lot of stuff that are covered
in the film. My town used to have a general store that offered video rentals. Middle and high school kids would visit
to check out the video section while the adults stopped by for coffee, drinks, smokes, and deli sandwiches. One day, the owner
got busted in Atlantic City for prostitution and child molestation and was forced to sell the store to cover his legal
fees. Eventually, Wawa came and became a permanent fixture. Now, everybody goes there, but it's not the same anymore.
Also, the boys were playing street
hockey atop the store's roof, and one of them hit the orange ball that went over the roof and into the storm drain. It's a
common occurrence, which is annoying, and I've been through it before many times.
Anyway, the cast is fantastic, and only two stand out the most: Brian O'Halloran and Jeff Anderson as Dante Hicks and Randal
Graves, respectively. The rapid-fire dialogue between the two makes it hard to keep up with them, causing me to
rewind the video a bit from time to time to catch everything they were saying. On the other hand, it's a smart move on Kevin
Smith's part to shoot the film in black and white beause the photography looks marvelous.
All in all, Clerks may be the only good film of Kevin Smith's career.
The Client (1994)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/05
12/05:
Adapted from John Grisham's novel, The Client is a poorly directed murder mystery thriller.
Thanks to his great-looking set of blue eyes, Kim Coates is chilling as the badass Gronke. Forget
the rest of the cast. They're average at best. Brad Renfro is awful, killing the movie. I blew raspberries in
1995 when I found out Susan Sarandon was Oscar-nominated.
I read the book, and it's an interesting story. But is it believable? I'll have to say no. When Gronke was in the
elevator with the boy, why did he let him go? He would've killed him, easy as pie.
All in all, The Client is average.
Cliffhanger (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/04, 11/07, 8/15
11/07:
Cliffhanger is a good example of an action flick that depends on the lead star to make it work.
Oh, my...the logic errors, so where to start?
1. The introduction gets my vote as the most memorable, but it invites so many questions. What is the girl doing there? For
a rookie climber, how did she make it up that high? Why can't they use the winch that's attached to the helicopter to lift her
up from there? Do they have to cross over between two peaks via steel cable? How can Gabe Walker, with all of his muscles,
not hold on to the girl longer?
2. Gabe wears a T-shirt in the middle of the mountains in sub-freezing weather, and he only needs a thin long-sleeved sweater
to be warm within minutes.
3. I don't care how muscular anyone is; he's not going to be able to climb the rocks for a long period of time.
Bulking up is a waste of oxygen which quickly leads to forearm pump.
4. When the two dudes base-jumped off the cliff, the subsequent cutaway shot looked like they just came out of an airplane.
5. During the night scenes, why are there searchlights in the middle of the mountain?
6. How can Gabe catch the rabbit before fitting it with a tracking device? Do you have any idea how damn fast rabbits are?
According to IMDb: "Sneak-preview audiences saw a scene where a rabbit gets killed by gunfire. Their reaction was strong
enough for Sylvester Stallone to invest $100,000 of his own money to have the scene re-shot so that the rabbit escaped."
7. Gabe goes underneath the ice and then comes out of it ten minutes later. Completely dry down to his hair, he's never
shivering or beset by the effects of being soaked in sub-freezing water. In reality, it should've shocked him to the core,
enough to induce hypothermia.
8. At the end, Qualen, pointing his gun at Jessie while he's manning the helicopter which requires two hands at all times,
orders her to surrender with hands up. How does he do both at the same time? She can run away from him because he still
has to find somewhere to land the helicopter.
9. Remember the scene when Gabe jumped in the air across the gorge? Impossible.
10. When Walker tripped over the booby wire while walking over the bridge, it should've blow up immediately.
Regardless, it's an entertaining action flick. Some of the stunts, including the plane-to-plane transfer, are
breathtaking. So is the mountainous setting which was shot on location in Italy, not Colorado. Sylvester Stallone is excellent
as the lead star as he provides a lot of excitement.
All in all, Cliffhanger is a fun picture.
8/15:
Back then, I would watch Stallone pictures at the movie theatre as long as there was plenty of action, and Cliffhanger
was among them.
It's still a great movie. Believe me, I can point out a lot of logic errors throughout the film, but the action is amazing,
enough to overcome the negatives.
If there's anything memorable, it's the introduction when Sarah met her fate in a spectacular fall which
is breathtaking to watch. Sylvester Stallone has so many great scenes that they're worth the price of admission. Hence,
the movie was a box-office hit, thanks to the potential viewers being sold by the trailer.
All in all, Cliffhanger is one of those movies I can watch over and over.
Clinton & Nadine (1988)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
If you want to go that far back and see Andy Garcia at his sexiest while he's in a leading role, Clinton & Nadine
is your answer.
It's a solid neo-noir, reminding me of the films that Robert Mitchum used to do with Jane Russell, Jane Greer, Faith
Domergue, and Jean Simmons. This time, it's Ellen Barkin who assumes the role, evincing good chemistry with Andy Garcia.
Ellen Barkin may have given the best performance of the film because she plays a damaged person who's careful in what to say and
is always direct about getting straight answers. Andy Garcia is fun to watch while Morgan Freeman has always been a strong
actor, regardless of how small or big the picture is.
The biggest mistake is the final ten minutes. It's what killed the film for good. Clinton and Nadine won't get away with it
scot-free after the three bad guys are let go. They'll hunt them down until they're dead. By the way, the colorful containers
at the beginning weren't stocked with drugs but parrots that Clinton smuggled from Mexico into the United States.
All in all, if you love low-key films noirs of the 40's and 50's and want something similar from the 80's, then I
recommend Clinton & Nadine.
Clockers (1995)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/06, 6/20
5/06:
Clockers is a gritty film about the drug culture and how black people are trapped within it.
Although Spike Lee does a nice job of transforming some scenes into a work of art, he's poor in trying to make the characters
appealing through talky dialogue. I don't understand why he has to revolve the plot around Strike who makes it impossible for
me to care about him.
The best part is the buildup toward the climax which is fascinating to follow, but the ending is rather too merciful.
They get away with murder after all? Ha! Only in Spike Lee's world. The four who give standout performances are: Delroy Lindo,
Harvey Keitel, Thomas Jefferson Byrd, and Isaiah Washington. Without a doubt, the first could've been nominated for an
Oscar; he plays a bad motherfucker.
All in all, I'll have to see Clockers later for a re-evaluation.
6/20:
A box-office disappointment abut blacks killing blacks, Clockers is a tale of two halves that may have ripped off a
film in many ways.
The first half is long and talky, and I was hoping things would speed up more. Then, it does during the second half,
finally getting my attention. However, I hate the ending. So, it's four black people getting away with murder? I just don't
think so. Murder is murder is murder, period.
There's a lot of talk involving Strike who's pressed by different guys from both sides, and it goes on and on and on. Yes,
it's interesting, but the movie becomes long this way. By the time the hassle ends, it's too late, and the show is over.
At the same time, I kept thinking of another movie called Strapped which came first in 1993. There are features
in common with Clockers. Strike and Diquan, Rocco and McRae, Rodney and Ben, and Tyrone Jeter and Chucky, and they
have similar subplots. Even Fredro Starr is in both films. While Clockers has a surprise ending, Strapped is
shocking. That's why I say Spike Lee is a rip-off artist; hell, look at the movie poster: does it look like something
that Saul Bass did for Anatomy of a Murder?
If there's anything to like, it's the excellent acting. The strongest performance comes from Delroy Lindo. He plays
the baddest dude. Everybody else is pretty good: Mekhi Phifer (in his debut film role), Harvey Keitel, John Turturro, Thomas
Jefferson Byrd, Isaiah Washington, and Keith David. The dialogue is also well-written, even though it feels talky which will
be toned down during the second half. By the way, "clocker" means a "low-level drug dealer who operates on the streets."
All in all, I hate Spike Lee's films which are always overrated, but I have to say Clockers is among few of the
best of his career along with He Got Game and Jungle Fever.
A Clockwork Orange (1971)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/02, 5/04, 7/13
7/13:
IMDb fanboys are madly in love with A Clockwork Orange because it looks cool and hip.
But let's be real: it's not an interesting picture. The book, of which I read a couple of times, has a unique play with
words. Beyond than that, there isn't much to go on, and it doesn't have a point.
People think it's a philosophical story with morals. Ha! That's a joke. For the most part, the film does a good job of
capturing the vision of the book, but it's still not the same. And the rest of you, o my brothers who are the kopatters of
merzky cal, can keep on peeting that chasha of the real horrorshow moloko and stay gloopy as usual.
All in all, A Clockwork Orange is overrated which contains little of the Nadsat language.
Closet Land (1991)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/20
4/20:
Anybody who liked Closet Land probably had his head kicked in by a rented mule.
The premise is this: while surrounded by Eiko Ishioka's easy-to-distract interiors, Madeleine Stowe is tortured by Alan
Rickman for ninety-five minutes. That's it. There's nothing else. Making her directorial debut, Radha Bharadwaj would do one
more film before concluding her sorry career.
Four million dollars got spent on this steaming pile of crap, and the total take at the box office was 259,012 measly dollars.
It's no wonder why I had a hard time finding a VHS copy. I read Closet Land had the reputation of being passed around
as an easy way to lose friends.
Madeleine Stowe and Alan Rickman do their best, but for two people, it's impossible to make a film work for more than
thirty minutes when the dialogue sucks. The champions in this department are still Laurence Olivier and Michael Caine when
they did Sleuth mostly because of Anthony Shaffer's superlative writing that made their acting so good, hence the Oscar
nominations.
In my opinion, the most effective way to win over somebody is to torture a small girl. The whole thing will be over in one
minute flat, and she'll sign the confession. And when she does, it'll be a "who cares?" moment. It won't
matter because after the author is released, she can move to another country, continue writing children's books, and forget
the whole thing ever happened.
All in all, the point of sitting through the torture of Closet Land is completely lost on me.
Clue (1985)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
4/05, 9/07
9/07:
Dang...how bad is Clue?
It's about a fine board game that's shamed to smithereens. In fact, the title should be changed to
The Colleen Camp's Breasts Show because that's what the movie is all about.
Sadly, the filmmakers forgot the board game was meant to be family fun by opting for the overly
sexist tone. So, what went wrong? Well, it begins with the characters.
First of all, I can't tell the difference between Miss Scarlett and Mrs. White. Ironically, I thought Colleen Camp
was Mrs. White, but she's not and is rather Yvette the maid (Uh, who? Was she in the game at all?).
Second, why isn't Professor Plum wearing something purple? That being said, Colonel Mustard is almost the only character
who fits the correct description.
Third, why is Wadsworth in the movie? There were seven characters, with another dead, in the board game. But no, it
must go further to introduce a billion of other people who weren't associated with the game in the first place.
Fourth, Tim Curry should've never appeared in the movie, having almost single-handedly ruined it.
Now, what's with the ending? Do you honestly believe Rocky would have won Best Picture if it had three different
endings? I can envision them as follows:
1. Rocky gets the girl after the fight.
2. Rocky wins the fight, and the girl runs to him.
3. Rocky gets beat to a pulp, and the girl runs to Apollo Creed.
What's supposed to be a simple murder mystery game, The Colleen Camp's Breasts Show manages to go off the cliff by
including government and sex secrets. Unsuprisingly, it was a miserable failure at the box office in 1985 but is more
appreciated by the moviegoers (please read that as "sheep") nowadays.
All in all, The Colleen Camp's Breasts Show isn't Clue in any way, shape, or form.
Clueless (1995)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
4/08
4/08:
Clueless is another mindless dud in Alicia Silverstone's résumé.
Totally clueless, Amy Heckerling cannot direct. Now outdated, it's about fake people whom I don't give two shits
about. My mind started to melt ten minutes into it, and by the time I reached the end, it was already dead from a nuclear
holocaust.
All in all, I prefer to strangle the characters than watch Clueless again.
Coach Carter (2005)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/08
10/08:
Although Coach Carter has good points, it invites several bad ones as well.
Samuel L. Jackson is fine and should be doing more of the same because lately he has been appearing in crap films. The cast
turns in decent performances. However, the plot is too familiar, ringing loudly the feeling of "been there,
done it before." What I didn't expect is how far the discipline went. Hence, it's a warm welcome.
Moreover, I like the fact that there's stress on the idea of "teamwork" plus the fundamental importance of academics and life
coming first before basketball. That's why I like the movie a lot, and it should relate well to anyone today. Unfortunately,
schools nowadays are about sports first. The basketball scenes are top-notch with nothing fancy. So, I like to think of
Coach Carter as Hoop Dreams meets Hoosiers.
As for the negatives, the profanity is too much, and I'm disappointed in the language that's used by the coach.
It's counterproductive and goes against what I believe in. Never in my life have I heard a coach uttering a four-letter word.
I'm also disappointed by how lax the coach is, especially when his players were caught attending a party that's filled
with sex, alcohol, and probably drugs. I mean, what was that? It should've resulted in total expulsion of the involved
players. But somehow, the coach swept the incident under the rug and moved on. Also, it's ridiculous when each time a player
does something that's against the rules he's eventually taken back by begging.
Watching the interviews with former players and finding out they "graduated" from college, I couldn't help but notice the lack of
education by the way they sounded. Even worse, the coach would begin his sentence with "We was..." and "They was..." Come on, I
expected more from him.
Of the actors, I notice how good-looking everybody is. Sorry, it doesn't work that way in real world. Their actual ages at the
time of filming are hysterical: 27, 22, 23, and 26, and one was 31! The advocacy of abortion for female teenagers should've
been completely dropped. By the way, is it just me, or do the high school cheerleaders resemble strippers?
All in all, despite the MTV label, Coach Carter isn't a bad film, but it should be approached with caution.
Cobb (1994)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/10
3/10:
Well, that guy was really mean.
Cobb is a sad disappointment for anyone wishing to know more about Ty Cobb, the holder of the highest career batting
average in Major League Baseball. Basically, Ron Shelton, who's a terrible sport film director, decides to show him as
the meanest son of a bitch who ever lived, and that's that. Whoopeee, but it's not much of fun.
Let's give credit where credit is due: Tommy Lee Jones is good, making two hours to go quickly. He's compelling and
interesting at the same time, but it's too bad there isn't much of substance to complement him throughout. Robert Wuhl is
the kind of actor who doesn't blend in well on screen due to his face, but in this, he's fine. By the way, the sight
of sportswriters debating who's the greatest in whatever the sport is pathetic.
All in all, Cobb should be seen only for Tommy Lee Jones' performance.
Cobra (1986)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
12/02, 6/03, 11/03, 4/04, 11/04, 12/06, 2/08, 10/10, 1/17, 8/20
12/06:
Marion Cobretti is among the best characters to ever grace the silver screen.
Can anything be more exciting than Cobra? It's maybe the most aesthetic neo-noir picture made. Sylvester
Stallone has outdone himself this time by creating one of the coolest characters in movie history through Marion
Cobretti, the pride of the Zombie Squad.
The critics' hate for Stallone is completely undeserving because he's a great storyteller with creative imagination.
Fantastic writing, action sequences, and style all make the film work.
All in all, Cobra is a neo-noir masterpiece.
2/08:
Seeing it for the seventh time in the past six years, Cobra still hasn't failed to entertain me.
It might be the most creative Stallone picture made. The neo-noir look is what makes it exciting. Without the character
development through Marion Cobretti with his cool toys, it would've been another mindless actioner.
Some of the best parts are: the reading of crime statistics during the intro, the ultra cool-looking '50 Mercury car,
the matchstick on Cobra's mouth, the car chase which rivals Bullitt, the Mercury spinning around to the rear as
Cobra uses his Jati-Matic on the truck, the distinctive-looking knife, the night slasher's comical pig speech, the overlarge
sunglasses, and the shopping market incident.
All in all, I don't care how many times I've seen Cobra because it's my kind of movie.
10/10:
There are many great scenes in Cobra that make it one of the best neo-noir movies made.
Kudos to Sylvester Stallone when it comes to his unbridled creativity, James Symons and Don Zimmerman for the editing, and Ric
Waite for the cinematography. There's never been a film like it before or since then. It's been confirmed the main
star, not George P. Cosmatos, was the true director.
All in all, Cobra is an underrated neo-noir policier.
1/17:
Cobra stills holds up and makes for a fast viewing because it's too much fun to watch.
8/20:
Sylvester Stallone is a genius when it comes to starring in action-packed motion pictures.
Cocktail (1988)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/12
5/12:
Cocktail...now, that's what I call a bad movie.
But it's a good thing Tom Cruise had done many impressive films during the 80's and early 90's to wipe it away from memory.
Doug Coughlin is so full of crap that the best he can do is suicide. I mean, how is it possible for him to
marry a rich chick? All of a sudden, Doug has money like he's the Wolf of Wall Street.
Brian Flanagan is an annoying jerk who serves no purpose except to reveal how much of a snake he is. The inside of his head
must be full of rocks. I won't be surprised if he suffers brain damage from smelling alcohol all the time at work. On top
of it, he sure drinks a lot and is on his way to alcoholism in a record time.
At least, Gina Gershon's character did the right thing by being a cold-hearted bitch and proceeding to make out with his
friend, backstabbing Brian before dumping him. Elizabeth Shue...Elizabeth Shue...Elizabeth Shue...jeez, she's terrible.
The movie is only watchable because of the bottle-throwing crap which is called flair bartending, a top ten pointless skill.
All in all, Cheesytail is more like it.
Coffee and Cigarettes (2003)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
4/19, 8/20
4/19:
After seeing Stranger Than Paradise, Dead Man, and Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai, I'm starting to
see how good of a director Jim Jarmusch is when it comes to style.
The way Jim Jarmusch has his films photographed in black and white is top shelf. There's something unique he brings out from
each. It's been the same again in Coffee and Cigarettes which features eleven highly uneven vignettes that were shot over
seventeen years. So, I'll go through them one by one:
Strange to Meet You: This is the funniest and almost the best vignette which is the original going back to 1986 when
nobody knew who Roberto Benigni was. I still can remember his wackiness when he walked atop people during the 1999 Oscars show.
In this, I'm quite sure Roberto didn't understand a word Steven Wright was saying. Nevertheless, both are funny.
Twins: The actual quote of what Elvis Presley supposedly said was, "The only thing Negroes can do for me is buy my
records and shine my shoes." It's been debunked for decades, and he would've never said anything like it. The part that
Elvis had a twin brother who was a stillbirth is true though.
Somewhere in California: Shot in 1995, this one isn't but is not great. It's nice to see Iggy Pop and Tom Waits
make something out of nothing during an awkward encounter while having no willpower when it comes to quitting smoking.
Those Things'll Kill Ya: Starting out on a bad foot, it wins me over with great performances by the three Italians.
They have good lines as well.
Renée: So boring and a waste of time although I get the point.
No Problem: It's worse than the last one and can be safely cut out.
Cousins: This vignette is among the top three. Cate Blanchett is so good that the way the other person looked
had me thinking if it was indeed her, too, which turned out to be the case. Hence, what a performance. It underscores the
mantra that attitude is everything. My favorite part is: after Cate left, Shelley was told there's no smoking
allowed in the lounge. Talk about killing it.
Jack Shows Meg His Tesla Coil: Pointless.
Cousins?: By far the best vignette, if I'll watch the movie again, this is the chief reason. It's so good
that Alfred Molina and Steve Coogan (Who the hell is he? The other guy is a famous actor who appeared in
Raiders of the Lost Ark and Prick Up Your Ears. Now, get the fuck out of here.) should have been Oscar-nominated.
How Steve got exposed for his snobbery is worth the price of admission when he got excited after overhearing Spike's name
during the phone call.
Delirium: It's so bad that a pattern has started to emerge by now: black people have the worst vignettes.
Champagne: What a terrible way to wrap it up which put me to sleep.
The final result is: four great vignettes, two so-so, and five awful, hence '6'.
All in all, Coffee and Cigarettes can be engaging at times but is very uneven.
8/20:
Yeah, okay...Jim Jarmusch specializes in pointless black-and-white indie pictures.
As many movies as I've seen of his, I've kept hoping there's some kind of insight or at least go somewhere, but they never do.
The only exception is Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai which is when the director finally got his shit together.
As for Coffee and Cigarettes, the only one worth watching is "Cousins?" This vignette could've been submitted for
Best Short Films, earning Jarmusch an Academy Award win. Of course, he can throw in another that features Cate Blanchett who plays
two different characters at the same time. I don't know how she pulled it off because I can't see a split of two screens or
something to that effect. But the rest is pointless and can be safely discarded.
All in all, you should fast forward Coffee and Cigarettes until the two aforementioned shorts, and you'll be done
with it in no time.
Cold Creek Manor (2003)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/21
1/21:
Not a horror picture, Cold Creek Manor is a suspenseful psychological thriller that's a hybrid of
Burnt Offerings, Liebestraum, and Cape Fear.
What's gratifying is there are no cheap tricks or CGI crap. Everything looks realistic, and I initially thought the movie was
going to be of the supernatural type. It's why Mike Figgis is an outstanding director. He keeps the tension high, and the cast
is perfect.
The trouble with Stephen Dorff is he's always out of tune, but this time, he finally gets the notes correct, giving
the best performance of his career. Therefore, Stephen Dorff is largely the reason why the film works, and I love
what happened to his character at the end. He deserved it for overstepping the personal boundaries through manipulative means
although I understand the family photos and all.
Dennis Quaid and Sharon Stone make for an unusual pairing, and they're excellent together, giving authentic
performances. Aging a lot (ditto for Juliette Lewis who looks way worse and was 30 at the time), Sharon Stone
is almost as good as she was in Intersection. The kids are okay but still annoying.
If I think deeply about what should've happened, the cracks start showing up. At the beginning, it's an
established fact that Dennis Quaid plays a documentarian, yet he doesn't bother using his research skills to find out about the
history of the house and the family that lived there through library records, interviews with locals, the hall of records,
and newspaper clippings.
Speaking of the locals, there's barely anyone around. The husband would have branched
out by contacting a more refined set of people who speak his language. Therefore, this restriction becomes difficult to
accept. I don't understand why Cooper kept going to the female sheriff whose sister has a relationship with the subject of the
complaint. That's too much bias at play.
At one point, Leah made total sense when she told her husband they should forget about the house and leave right away. I agree
with her 100% although I understand Cooper's burning need to solve the mystery. Perhaps he's thinking of the victims. At the
end, I'm shown images of them that are still at the house after what happened. Um, why? Just get out already and move to a
better location.
The snakes were definitely planted inside the house; there's no way around it. I don't like Figgis' decision to include one
scene of Dale and his father at the nursing home because I'm not supposed to know about it since the film is through
the Tilsons' perspective. By the way, I didn't realize it's Christopher Plummer playing the father when I thought
it was James Coburn because of Affliction (the latter died one year earlier anyway).
All in all, Cold Creek Manor is worth watching.
Collateral (2004)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
10/21, 12/21
10/21:
It's hard not to be entertained by a Michael Mann movie which is always shot on location.
Having seen Miami Vice first with Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx, I was a bit apprehensive about Collateral, but
my fears were unfounded. It's a super entertaining, non-stop thriller that's in the mold of The Terminator with Club
Fever substituting for Tech-Noir. Even it has an interesting piece of trivia about Miles Davis.
Instead of a machine, Tom Cruise plays a mission-driven contract killer who's a human being but is lethal all the same.
Jamie Foxx may have been Oscar-nominated, but it's his co-star who deserves it more. The truth is: Tom Cruise is the
show and steals every single scene. I love his radical look. His gun-handling is unbelievable. The best
part is the ensuing action after he asked, "That my briefcase?" Chasing after Jamie Foxx and Jada Pinkett Smith, Tom Cruise
actually fell down to the floor when his foot slipped off the office chair.
I can tell Tom Cruise put in a lot of work into his character; it's too bad I don't know the rest of the details that made
him what he is. Make no mistake: he's a sociopath. Something did happen that night which caused him to unravel a bit
by showing some care for the cabbie driver after getting know to him a bit. Had Vincent not done that, the mission gets
taken care of. Max has a coming-of-age experience by going through the ordeal with Vincent; he'll never be the same again.
Hence, I'll say Vincent ironically had a positive impact on him.
With the exception of the Club Fever scene, the choice of video quality is interesting, which is what I'll see in
low-grade foreign films, because Michael Mann tends to go with the best to achieve his vision. After a while, it starts to make
sense as he wants to keep the action real. In many ways, Collateral is the Miami Vice of Los Angeles. The reason
is the utilization of the Viper FilmStream High-Definition Camera which is a first for big-budget pictures. It would be
repeated for Miami Vice but with poor results.
How terrific is Mann involving a few stereotypical cops who are quickly dispatched and the movie strolls along without
them. Mark Ruffalo does a good job, regardless. Jada Pinkett Smith is fine but wears
too much makeup. I didn't realize Javier Bardem was Felix until the ending screen credits. Reviving his role of the
Transporter for a brief moment, Jason Statham makes a cameo at the airport as he and Tom Cruise exchange briefcases.
All in all, Collateral is an all-around impressive movie that's technically well-made.
10/21:
Dropping my rating of '9' to '7', Collateral is still a well-made movie but runs too long with bothersome cheap video
quality.
The wrong person was Oscar-nominated as it should've gone to Tom Cruise for making the film go. It's fascinating how
heavily Mark Ruffalo and Bruce McGill were used yet they got abruptly discarded which reminds me of what happened to Janet Leigh
and Martin Balsam in Psycho.
All in all, Collateral is a fine film.
The Collector (1965)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/14
6/14:
The Collector is a colorful-looking English serial killer picture.
Sad to say, the genre is old and redundant by now because it's easy to list the typical, rather predictable, manners
a serial killer displays. So, there's nothing new to discover, and I'm sure it did
influence some would-be serial killers back in the day. There are some negative aspects.
First, it's talky in a philosophical manner for my taste. I find it unrealistic. Second, Terence Stamp is too
handsome not to attract women; apparently, his character's motives are implausible. Had a plain-looking person
like Tom Courtenay was cast, it would've been believable. Third, serial killers have sex on their minds
when they set out to kidnap a female. So, I don't believe this respect thing.
On the other hand, Terence Stamp and Samantha Eggar make for a workable two-man show. As a result, the movie is
well-made, thanks to William Wyler's unfailingly magic touch. The best part is the psychological game that both characters play:
a lot of give and take. I like how it ends as Terence Stamp's character goes off for the next hunt as if it's another day
which is a rarity.
All in all, The Collector is fine, but it's nothing new.
Collision Course (1989)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
4/04, 4/21
4/21:
Famous for his prominent jaw, Jay Leno had a leading role in only one film: Collision Course.
Jay Leno was a funny guy on The Tonight Show, but he's strangely flat and can't act in this. His love for cars
is evident by driving a 1960 Chevrolet Corvette C1 half of the time. To Jay Leno's credit, he has nice chemistry with
Pat Morita which is the only aspect that's working.
I saw the movie in 1989 and found a couple of scenes to be hilarious. They still are today. One is when Pat Morita told
Randall "Tex" Cobb that he knew karate and then was easily pushed back. This is Mr. Miyagi we're talking about. Soon after,
he would find somebody's foot to smash with a giant bowling ball. The second is when Jay Leno explained to him about the
alarm thing and then somebody yelled afterwards, "Turn that shit off!"
Asian racism and stereotypes were heavily pronounced in films during the 80's. Think of Sixteen Candles,
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and Gung Ho. I thought it would be the case again, but
Collision Course isn't that bad: just casual stuff which is thrown around by one bigot.
All in all, bearing a strong resemblance to Beverly Hills Cop, Collision Course is a bad film.
The Color of Money (1986)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
7/05, 2/06, 11/12
7/05:
A cool-sounding title, The Color of Money is a superbly directed Scorsese picture with great performances
by Tom Cruise and Paul Newman.
All in all, The Color of Money is a cinematic rarity: two heavyweight actors, movie idols in their own right but
from different generations, clash with each other before they make a change of the guard.
2/06:
The Color of Money is a brilliant movie.
It's a dog-eat-dog world of hustling. What's interesting is, as the mentor-protégé thing goes astray, the former ends
up wanting a shot at the latter who in turn denies him his best game.
All in all, The Color of Money is all about Tom Cruise and Paul Newman, and they're fantastic.
11/12:
After finally seeing The Hustler for the first time, I went ahead with The Color of Money and feel
it's superior to the original in many ways.
Thanks to Tom Cruise's overlooked performance, Paul Newman won the Oscar for the first time ever, and he hadn't been this good
in years with the exception of The Verdict. They bring a lot of excitement to the film, hence
the quick pace with high replayability value. In the meantime, I wish there were some references to The Hustler.
It would be nice to have some connection. By the way, who's that guy at the bar? Why...it's none other than Iggy Pop.
All in all, let's hear it one more time from Fast Eddie Felson: "Money won is twice as sweet as money earned."
*the sound of breaking balls*
Color of Night (1994)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/12, 3/20
7/12:
Either it's simple or difficult to judge Color of Night.
I used to think it was good and bad at once because of how unsatisfying the conclusion was after so
much work had been put into peeling off the layers of the mystery.
It's a decent film now because time has been kind to it. I typically think of Bruce Willis as a poor
actor, but this is among the best stuff he has done. What's disappointing is how apparent the dissimulation is. All I
have to do is to look at Jane March's teeth and that's all there is to the mystery.
Demi Moore probably blew her gasket when she first saw Bruce Willis getting it on in a hot and heavy way with Jane March
(who has a case of mistaken identity as she can pass for Shawnee Smith easily) and then sought revenge by appearing in silly
soft porno flicks such as Striptease and Disclosure just to prove how hot she is. At any rate, Bruce Willis
seems to have enjoyed the experience, but I wonder why Jane March hadn't appeared anymore afterwards. Meanwhile, the
supporting cast also helps the film to stay afloat, and they all do a good job.
Notice at the end when Bruce Willis and Jane March climbed atop the tower and there's a shot of the freeway in the background
when in fact there's actually none around the area. If Richie has been sent to jail for drug abuse, then it's highly
conceivable there must come a point during the process that he'll have to strip himself naked, don't you think?
By the way, I don't think the group therapy sessions are helping anyone because nobody's problem has been resolved.
So, I wonder what the going rate per hour is, and where do I sign up for it to be on the receiving end?
All in all, Color of Night is an underrated neo-noir thriller, but a suspension of disbelief is necessary in
order for it to work.
3/20:
I still say Color of Night is an underrated neo-noir picture.
Bruce Willis was a better actor when he had hair. It's certainly among his best stuff. There are moments in
Color of Night when he's really giving all because he believed in the material. This kind of effort is the biggest
difference maker despite the trashy premise. The story is very good with many layers of psychology. I like the cinematography
which heightens the neo-noir style.
Besides Rubén Blades' overacting, the biggest letdown is how often Jane March, a Jodi Arias look-alike, flashed her
teeth. The more she does it, the more predictable the twist is. Nonetheless, it's still a good movie which is
unfortunately not sexy, no matter how many times Bruce Willis and Jane March are hot and heavy for each other.
I like Scott Bakula and all because of his work in Quantum Leap, but he has the most inexplicable dramatic scene when
he yelled and ran around the corner in his office before being jumped by a bad guy. I saw the movie in 1994, but since then, I've
never understood why he did that although it looks pretty cool.
All in all, I may be in the minority, but I like Color of Night a lot.
The Color Purple (1985)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
10/15, 8/21
10/15:
The Color Purple was off to a rough start, but afterwards, it had grown on me, making for excellent black cinema.
Additionally, the movie feels like it was done by a black director because it has that kind of soul. Hence, I
say Steven Spielberg is the best all-around director ever. Most of his stuff are still classics today, and nobody can
beat his prodigious body of work.
He directed a masterpiece shark picture, a timeless action-adventure film (in fact, three of them) with a great Harrison Ford
performance every single time, a Holocaust drama that's the film of the decade, two highly memorable sci-fi pictures,
a dinosaur flick with an amazing display of CGI, a David Lean type of picture that starred young Christian Bale, and a war
picture so realistic that it's like being there.
The performances in The Color Purple are excellent. It's impossible to deny the fact that Whoopi Goldberg, who makes
her screen debut, stole the show. Therefore, what a surprise she didn't win the Oscar in a leading role. Oprah Winfrey,
also in a debuting role, and Danny Glover, who's pure evil despite his famous 100-megawatt smile, are standouts as well.
As strange as the story is, it's difficult to get used to the hard lives as portrayed. Mainly, it's
due to the trappings of post-slavery and lack of modeling in terms of proper behavior for the blacks. Hence, some of
them have the tendency to act bizarre.
All in all, The Color Purple is a timeless masterpiece of black cinema.
8/21:
It's obvious that 1985 was the year of racism in Hollywood.
Completely shut out of every single Oscar nomination out of eleven (when it should've been thirteen; Danny Glover and
Steven Spielberg didn't get theirs) which is still a record today, The Color Purple is far, far better than
Out of Africa, an impossibly long picture that's forgotten today. Capturing the human
spirit so eloquently well, it's a strange yet moving work of art with many powerful scenes.
Making her astonishing screen debut is Whoopi Goldberg. She's the true star. Seriously, where's the Oscar for her? The Academy
has to be joking me as it ranks among the top fifteen of all-time snubs. The voters at the time must have been more than 99%
white. I think they made up for it by giving the award to Whoopi for Ghost although she did
give a great performance.
The cast is excellent: Danny Glover, Margaret Avery, Oprah Winfrey, Adolph Caesar, Akosua Busia, and Willard Pugh.
There's so much their characters had to overcome including domestic violence, incest, forced separation, rape, slavery,
pedophilia, poverty, racism, and sexism. Mister Johnson is the root of these aforementioned problems, going back to his
father and then to his father before him and so on. It's disturbing to watch.
All in all, forget Out of Africa; The Color Purple is the best film of the year.
Colors (1988)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
9/05, 1/20
9/05:
Although ambitious, Colors comes up colorless.
Many themes are clichéd; in other words, there's nothing new to discover. Worse, Dennis Hopper loses focus by
trying to juggle many different perspectives that don't converge to a single point.
Sean Penn and Robert Duvall aren't wasted, but their roles should be more magnified for impact. At the
same time, the film would benefit from showing more of L.A.'s gang-infested streets. By the way, Courtney Gains
plays a gangbanger which is a big "gee whiz" moment considering he was in Children of the Corn four years earlier.
All in all, Colors has a lot of untapped potential, but it needs a re-evaluation from me.
1/20:
Showcasing the police officers' work with the gang-infested streets of Los Angeles, Colors is about approaches when it
comes to handling gangbangers.
Sean Penn's character is all about busting balls and seeing things in black and white while Robert Duvall's wants to talk
things out and keeping the relations as cool as possible. I realize, over time, the latter approach makes more
sense because what the former was doing will eventually cost him, hence the loss of community trust.
My opinion of Colors had been low in the past, but I find it hard to deny its greatness: raw and edgy that's true to
real life. It's a credit to Dennis Hopper's direction. Even more interesting is the fact that he chose this project.
As for the acting, everybody is outstanding. In a role that almost went to Mickey Rourke, Sean Penn gives one of the best
performances of his career, showing a great understanding of his character. When he saw what his ex-girlfriend truly was,
it's a moment of realization that looks aren't everything and that it's better to get know her a little bit more first.
Robert Duvall is, of course, a pro. Trinidad Silva is also memorable as Frog, but he sadly died in 1988 when a drunk
driver hit his vehicle. The secondary thespians, which include future breakout stars Don Cheadle, Damon Wayans, Glenn Plummer,
and Mario Lopez and real-life gang members who were threatened with jail time if they refused to participate, add more realism
to the show.
Impossible to miss is Ice-T's catchy music with a repetitive eponymous hook. There's no question he should've been
nominated for Best Original Song. If you stay to the end of the film, it's an all-time great: the mix of his music and
the photography of Los Angeles streets.
All in all, Dennis Hopper took a risk to show the street gangs of Los Angeles to the world for the
first time, which was a radical idea back then, and it paid off.
Come Back to the 5 & Dime,
Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean (1982)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/18
7/18:
Come Back to the 5 & Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean is a ridiculously long title for a film.
It was mentioned in a book by Don Graham that's called Giant which provided behind-the-scenes story of how the eponymous
epic picture was made and also the biographies of the three main stars, most especially James Dean. Within the year of 1955
after James Dean died in an automobile crash, there were over four million members, the vast majority of them teenager girls,
enrolled in various clubs in the memory of him, and they were called "Deaners."
It wouldn't take long for James Dean to be transformed into an icon due to the strength of his acting in only three films:
Rebel Without a Cause, East of Eden, and Giant. He became the symbol of the Beatnik generation
that's perfectly described in Jack Kerouac's book On the Road. Therefore, it's not difficult to understand why there
exists a play that revolves around a James Dean club which was founded and run by local females. Penned by Ed Graczyk, it
didn't do well in the theater, receiving bad critical notices, and had a short run overall.
Unfortunately, Robert Altman ignored all of that by deciding to film it which was meant to stay within the confines of the
stage. The movie is abysmally bad and full of loony hens who don't know the meaning of friendship or the art of conversation.
They just want to turn into bitches and backstab each other with mean-spirited words and made-up stories. The film is hard to follow
while I'm trying to put up with the nonsensical dialogue and stagy acting. However, that's the point of it as explained by the playwright:
"[The play] can only be described as the result of my own observations and frustrations with progress that ignores a past; the
lack of personalization and pride and the recurring need of people to build facades to conceal the truths of their lives. It
is the facade that makes abnormal people seem normal and the sad people seem happy."
Of the cast, I thought the selection of Karen Black as the transvestite character was dead-on because she had always been an
odd-looking woman with crossed, buggy eyes. On the other hand, I didn't know Kathy Bates' career went that far back. Regardless,
the failure of the film didn't stop Robert Altman from his personal quest of directing more movie adaptations of stage plays
throughout the 80's, causing him to drop out of Hollywood's pantheon of great directors.
All in all, I can imagine James Dean, if he saw Come Back to the 5 & Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean, oddly laughing
and going, "What the fuck is this bullshit?"
Come Back, Little Sheba (1952)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/18
6/18:
Come Back, Little Sheba was the first play written by William Inge in 1950 while he was a teacher at Washington
University in St. Louis, Missouri.
After running for 190 performances, the play found its way to Hollywood. Shirley Booth
appeared in both versions, having become the first ever to win a Tony Award and an Academy Award for Best Actress for the same role.
It was her debuting role in a motion picture at age 54, and she did four more films afterwards, preferring the theater instead.
I can see why Shirley Booth won the Oscar, but it's a very melodramatic performance with childlike imbecility, something
that's unsuitable for film. It's difficult not to let my eyes roll while watching her character, especially when she
called for a lost dog named Sheba, hence the title of the play.
To keep it from becoming too stagy, Burt Lancaster, who was cast in the role that's meant for Humphrey Bogart
after his smashing success in The African Queen, lends his credence and turns in another interesting performance while
being aged by eighteen years with gray hair. That can happen by putting up with a needy, clinging wife for so long.
Bringing modernism to the table, Terry Moore plays a character who's similar to Eve Harrington of
All About Eve and, as a reward, received an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actress.
Complementing her is the muscular Richard Jaeckel. By the way, only stupid idiots will leave a bottle of alcohol inside the
cupboard of a house that's inhabited by an alcoholic. It's like forcing a temptation to happen sooner or later.
All in all, despite the ordinary story which goes off on the deep end of melodrama, Come Back, Little Sheba is a
passable play-turned-film, but it's been Please Go Back, Little Sheba for me.
Comes a Horseman (1978)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/20
8/20:
Despite the big-time names that are associated with Comes a Horseman, the public took a big pass.
Well, that's a shame because it's a terrific Western. You may not know Gordon Willis, but you certainly know his work. Because
of his cinematography for The Godfather saga, he was henceforth named the Prince of Darkness. It's because of the way
Gordon Willis took advantage of the darkness. He did it again for Comes a Horseman which is nothing short of astonishing:
an amazing level of depth in light and black in scene after scene.
Off to a bad start with a shocking early appearance of Mark Harmon (I didn't know he went that far back), the movie is
slow-paced much of the time. But the story works well this way as the characters come alive in their own quiet way. This trait
is easily observed through James Caan. He could've been bombastic in a heroic fashion but chose to be quiet. As a result, he
comes off as an admirable cowboy with winning qualities. I hate Jane Fonda and don't think much of her acting abilities, but
let's call a spade a spade: she's perfectly cast as Ella. The role is tailor-made for her. Jane Fonda shows 100% authenticity
and has moments which are about unfulfilled dreams.
Wanting the whole shebang, Jason Robards plays a compelling character (the precursor to J.R. Ewing?) who's quiet as James
Caan but is still menacing with long stare. It's why the last fifteen minutes is dramatic. By the way, remember the
almost-too-real scene when it's supposedly him being dragged behind the horse after being shot? Jim Sheppard, who doubled
for Robards, actually died doing it.
Outshining everybody is the easygoing Richard Farnsworth. It's so obvious within a few minutes of his speaking that I thought
he must have won the Oscar. It turns out he was only nominated. When Farnsworth's character died, his presence was
missed the rest of the way.
All in all, Comes a Horseman is a superbly shot, deliberately paced Western with realistic performances and great
cowboy action.
Coming Home (1978)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
4/14, 6/22
4/14:
Coming Home is a wonderfully shot picture with superlative acting performances by Jon Voight, Jane Fonda, Bruce Dern,
and Penelope Milford.
In fact, all four of them were nominated for Oscars with the first two coming away as winners. Admittedly, I hate Jane Fonda
for various reasons, but she's really good in this by exhibiting a calm, neutral demeanor toward everybody. It's why
Jon Voight developed an instant connection with her.
For his character Luke, it's been a remarkable transition if I think back to the beginning when he was acting like Ron Kovic
the angry, jaded vet. In fact, you can ask yourself, "Why was Born on the Fourth of July made if Coming Home
came first?" It's because both are different films but with same message.
All the credit is due to Hal Ashby, who had a meager oeuvre of tensomething films including the famous cult flick
Harold and Maude. What makes Coming Home special is he lets the thespians do their job while opting
for a laid-back approach with the camera.
All in all, Coming Home is one of the great anti-war pictures that tells a profound story of ex-soldiers who are
left scarred by their wartime experience.
6/22:
If you hear the phrase "emotional truth" through acting, Oscar winners Jon Voight and Jane Fonda exemplifies it the best in
Coming Home.
Just like The Best Years of Our Lives, it's a powerful film about the impact of war on different people that's
further explored in Born on the Fourth of July. In fact, Ron Kovic's tale, published in 1976, is how Jane Fonda's
personal film project got started. While it's difficult to get past her and Jon Voight's outstanding performances,
Bruce Dern and Penelope Milford are excellent, earning themselves Oscar nominations.
All in all, Coming Home shows what superior acting can do for a motion picture.
Coming to America (1988)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/04, 12/12
12/12:
Coming to America.
You know, I have seen the film many times since 1988, but recently, for some reason, I learned for the first time
ever that the white man in the barbershop was Eddie Murphy. So, it's no wonder why Rick Baker was given an Oscar
nomination for Best Makeup. In fact, he should've won it because that's an amazing job.
Anyway, I like the story as presented, and it's a rare treat to see something original. Coming to America is a
funny film because of the random moments and scenes, especially with Randy Watson aka Sexual Chocolate.
The cast isn't bad, but it's Eddie Murphy who steals the show throughout. He used to be good at these comedies during the
80's, but since then, which actually started in 1992, he's been the same again. By the way, I see Cuba Gooding, Jr.,
sitting on the chair in the barbershop while listening to the stupid boxing debate. Does he look 30 years old or what?
I'm curious to know: how much money did the king of Zamunda steal from his own subjects?
All in all, the story is the reason why Coming to America works.
Commando (1985)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/03, 7/17, 3/23
7/17:
Oh, boy!
It's time for some mindless violence. Commando provides an endless supply of it. Sure, there's a story and some
character development. But really...what the movie is all about is Arnold Schwarzenegger taking off his shirt and kicking
some serious ass.
Hey, say...didn't Sylvester Stallone do this already as John Rambo? Mark L. Lester, the director, said, "It's the granddaddy
of action films as we know them today." Uh...no. That's Rambo: First Blood Part II. Even I have a hard time
separating between John Matrix and Predator's Dutch. But let's be fair: Commando came first before Predator
although it's easy to think it's the other way around. Now, forget logic; it isn't important.
Yes, John Matrix jumps more than 500 feet in the air from a commercial jet aircraft with a takeoff speed that's roughly
200 MPH and never breaks a bone or looks wet after landing on the three-foot-deep marsh.
Yes, there are dummies being blown up everywhere.
Yes, it's the stunt double doing some of the work for Arnold.
Yes, Arnold can't possibly carry the tree log, which turned out to be balsa wood, on his shoulder with ease.
Yes, Vernon Wells can't possibly match up with Arnold. Just check out their muscles; there's no comparison.
Yes, Sully doesn't look like a Green Beret.
Yes, ripping the seat out of a car serves no purpose.
Yes, crashing the car against a telephone pole will force Rae Dawn Chong to leap out before smashing her head.
Yes, John Matrix can't possibly break a steel chain apart and ride down while holding on to weak balloons.
Yes, soldiers don't perform somersaults when grenades are thrown near them.
Yes, it's not possible to have an infinite supply of ammo.
Yes, the Chevrolet Blazer Cheyenne is going to flip over, even by the slightest tilt.
Yes, the grenades, when pinned to the vest, can be accidentally pulled, killing the person himself.
Yes, what self-respecting gun store sells military weapons such as rocket launchers and grenades?
Yes, alarms will be sounded whenever there's an intruder lurking inside the cargo area of an airplane.
Arnold Schwarzenegger may look huge in the film, but he's actually thin when compared to his bodybuilding heyday. He lost
a lot of volume, especially in his chest and legs which look pencil-thin, hence the need for constant cover-up. By the way,
I didn't realize Vernon Wells (Bennett) played Wez in The Road Warrior. Then again, he had a mask on.
All in all, Commando is a fast, easy watch that should be enjoyed without nitpicking.
3/23:
Yep, Commando is as mindless as it gets.
So many impossible things that John Matrix is capable of: carrying the giant 1,000+ pound log on his shoulder, landing safely
on a shallow marsh from 500 feet in the air, breaking a steel chain apart with his bare hands, surviving plenty of
dangerous driving stunts with no seat belt on, and mowing down hundreds of baddies in sight with nary a bullet on
his own body.
Regardless, it's a fast, fun action flick that seems to have been made after Predator but did come first in the chronological
order. Also, there's no denying Arnold Schwarzenegger's star power which is alone enough to sell the show.
All in all, just turn off your brain and enjoy Commando.
Commandos Strike at Dawn (1942)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/24
2/24:
Commandos Strike at Dawn is a WWII piece of crap starring Paul Muni.
Norway gave up fighting two months after it was invaded by Germany in 1940, and with the exception of the heavy water sabotage stuff,
the citizens stayed passive until the end of war. They were actually the most pro-Nazi of any invaded country in WWII history, and many were
Communists. too. About 300,000 Nazis were stationed there during that time which proved to be a drain on manpower for Hitler.
Despite being close to England, Norway, which is over 90% mountain, had no strategic value besides a port that received iron ore
from Sweden.
Anyway, the film is dull. By the time the commandos come, it's too late to care. Paul Muni is ineffective, showing none of the thespic
power that he demonstrated during the 30's. He probably took on the role in the name of good cause, nothing more. Standing in
for Norway, all scenes were shot on location in Greater Victoria of British Columbia, Canada.
All in all, Commandos Strike at Dawn has a bit of everything: wordy dialogue, banal war action, forgettable cast, and
wasted Paul Muni.
Como agua para chocolate (1992)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
4/06
4/06:
Sensually unusual, mysterious, and romantic, Como agua para chocolate (Like Water for Chocolate) has one of the
best cinematography I've ever seen.
What a brilliant direction by Alfonso Arau. It's the story that makes the film work. Terrific performances are rendered
by the cast. Lumi Cavazos is perfect.
All in all, Como agua para chocolate is magical.
The Company of Wolves (1984)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
9/11
9/11:
Talk about a film that goes from one random scene to another.
It's exactly how The Company of Wolves has been, one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen in my life. Neil Jordan is
the director who has made stinkers such as We're No Angels, Michael Collins, and The Crying Game.
I knew it was directed by Neil Jordan when Stephen Rea's name appeared in the opening credits. So, what killed
the film for me? It's the stupid-looking boy with dopey face. Whoever decided to cast Angela Lansbury as the grandmother
should be fired because it's as idiotic as it gets. I won't be surprised if Angela Lansbury's
performance in The Manchurian Candidate was the sole reason.
For some while, the setting appeared to take place during the 18th century, yet there's a Rolls Royce? It turns out
to be a dream. When I saw Terence Stamp inside, I actually thought he was going to ask, "Pardon me. Do you have any Grey
Poupon?" Just because The Company of Wolves is a dream film doesn't excuse what trash of a celluloid it has been.
All in all, The Company of Wolves, which is a rip-off of Little Red Riding Hood with numerous typical werewolf
transformations, is strictly for idiots who partake of bestiality for fun.
Compulsion (1959)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
12/15
12/15:
It doesn't take long for me to realize Compulsion is about the case of Nathan Leopold and Richard Loeb.
If you aren't familiar with what happened in Chicago during 1924, it's worth reading. The film is almost
detail-for-detail of the case. The downside is it's boring to watch. The other is Rope came first, so
Compulsion feels redundant at least from a philosophical perspective.
The sourest aspect is Orson Welles' preposterous performance. Nothing he said makes sense. Because he received a top billing, I
thought the plot was about him, but it's not...only a minor part.
All in all, Compulsion fails to stir my interest about the two "supermen" who received fame for committing the
so-called crime of the century.
Con Air (1997)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
4/04, 3/20
3/20:
Carrying on the bombastic style that's initiated by Michael Bay in The Rock, Con Air is of the popcorn junk
kind that forces me to leave my brain at the door.
It was a stupid movie back then, and it's still a stupid movie today. Yet Con Air is somewhat entertaining,
thanks to the nice collection of big-name actors such as Nicolas Cage, John Malkovich who has the best lines (yet what the
heck was he doing in this?), Ving Rhames, and Danny Trejo although I can do without John Cusack and Dave Chappelle who's
absolutely unfunny and obnoxious.
The CGI is the worst part in spite of the decent editing. It's been a stream of unrealistic moments, and there's no way anyone
could survive the explosions or daredevil stunts. At the same time, there's a loss of credibility in the logic
department.
Take one scene: a plane tows DEA agent Duncan Malloy's 1967 Chevrolet Corvette Roadster maybe a half mile away from where he
and Larkin are standing, and the car is suddenly dropped right by their feet. Another is when the guards discovered a bunch of
artifacts about the planned escape behind a fake brick in Cyrus the Virus' prison cell, but why didn't he burn them before
his departure? How it went down in Las Vegas is sheer stupidity. Shooting the plane down over the desert landscape would've
been justified in hindsight.
At the beginning, Cameron Poe is given ten years for manslaughter. Really, what he did can be justified in the name of self defense, and
he shouldn't have been tried in the first place, let alone be found guilty. It's the most difficult premise to swallow.
Later on, the planted DEA agent decides to pull out his gun at the worst time possible when he should've waited longer.
Garland Greene said, "Define irony: a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in
a plane crash." No, they didn't...just a few members of Lynyrd Skynyrd but not the entire band. By the way, why am I supposed
to root for him? The sadist killed over thirty innocent people, and he looks cool because he's Steve Buscemi?
All in all, Con Air may be over the top, but it's not bad for the most part.
Conan the Barbarian (1982)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/07
10/07:
Conan the Barbarian is the kind of film that's for silly people who believe Vikings wore horned helmets for real.
There have been times I thought it was shaping into a pornographic picture. The lines are crap, the storyline feels like it
was taken from a children's book, and the action is at best minimal. Also, there's a lot of walking around
for the characters with nothing to do.
The acting is mostly fair. Arnold Schwarzenegger fits the bill as Conan, a Hercules-looking musclehead, but he says
little. I like the re-enactment of the olden times, most especially the primitive warlike tribes. The costumes are nicely
designed, and the background setting isn't shabby, either.
All in all, Conan the Barbarian is like looking at a dot and not thinking much of it but accepting it as a dot.
Conan the Destroyer (1984)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/07
10/07:
Coooonnnnnnaaaaaaawwwwnnnn!
Jeez, what a boring film Conan the Destroyer is. It's somewhat better than the original for being shorter,
less tedious, and more passable to get through. Yet it's hard to take the sequel seriously because of Wilt Chamberlain.
The cast is lousy. Tracey Walter, Grace Jones, Wilt Chamberlain, and Olivia d'Abo should be cut out. However, I like the
costumes and the set design. It's too bad the poor dialogue has to wreak havoc. I'm disappointed in Conan for
walloping the poor camel.
You might be asking this all-important question: why was there no third part for the Conan franchise?
It's because The Terminator came and the rest is history.
All in all, please...no more Conan bullshit for me.
The Concorde - Airport '79 (1979)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/08
8/08:
The Concorde - Airport '79 isn't as bad as the critics claim, and I've enjoyed some parts when the disaster struck
which can be exciting.
It has a few laughs here and there. There are several nice performances from the D-list cast, but the plot is stupid.
After what happened with the Concorde the first time, I'm surprised it was allowed back in the air the
next day after a quick inspection. Even more so is the lack of fear among the passengers as they return to the same plane for
another trip, flying from Paris to Moscow. I guess it's another car drive to them.
Having the distinction of being the only actor to appear in all four films of the Airport franchise, George Kennedy now
has the most screen time ever. Alain Delon does well working with him. Susan Blakely is wooden as Maggie Whelan who's been
"whatever" much of the time. Robert Wagner doesn't get enough respect as the villain. Maybe he should've yelled, "Dammit, I
am Robert Wagner!"
All in all, The Concorde - Airport '79 is an okay entry for the Airport franchise.
Confessions of a Sorority Girl (1994)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
4/15
4/15:
Confessions of a Sorority Girl?
They must mean A Portrait of a Sociopathic Bitch. Containing every cliché there is in the book, it has the basic
good-girl-bad-girl plot about a social climber who wants to be the queen of a sorority house. Beyond that, there are many
eye-rolling moments.
As the setting intends to resemble the 50's, everything has been the 90's including social norms. Jamie Luner, who plays
the loser bitch, is ugly and does nothing for me. On the other hand, Alyssa Milano, who's the sole reason why the
movie gets any attention, does enough before moving on to Double Dragon and Embrace of the Vampire as part of the
"What the Hell Happened to Her?" tour.
All in all, thanks to the misleading cover, A Portrait of a Sociopathic Bitch initially carries the expectations of
a soft porn flick but fails to deliver the goods.
Conrack (1974)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/23
3/23:
Conrack is the first film that's based on a Pat Conroy book.
Given the subject matter and the South Carolina setting (actually shot on location in Brunswick and St. Simons Island, Georgia),
Jon Voight is the perfect choice for the leading role of an idealistic teacher who wants to do good. At the same time, there's
a nice sense of humor throughout. In the end, Conrack ultimately loses out because he's not conventional enough.
The performances are humanistic with different viewpoints. It's easy to see why Martin Ritt is the right choice to helm the
director's chair, coming from Sounder. I thought Paul Winfield would have a bigger role, but it's fine. Jon Voight
alone is enough, and he's literally the show. I like the camaraderie he developed with the black kids who were Pat
Conroy's students in real life.
Unfortunately, the content isn't fulfilling and doesn't lead to anywhere significant. The teaching stuff is simplistic
at best and useless at worst. I wasn't expecting a lot out of these black students given their profound ignorance. At least,
racism isn't harped on although it would've been easy for Martin Ritt to do so.
All in all, Conrack is a nice, little picture with a fine performance by Jon Voight.
Consenting Adults (1992)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/24
1/24:
After their time working on The January Man, Kevin Kline and Mary Elizabeth
Mastrantonio decided to do another dumb picture, and this time, it's called Consenting Adults.
At first, I thought the appropriate title was Swapping Wives, but director Alan J. Pakula found a way
around it to make the film easy to swallow. Then, the twist came, and I was like, "Okay..."
Given the fact that the wife sought divorce and then shacked up with Eddy, I thought she had to be in the scam the entire time,
but after fourteen years of trust? It turns out that she never was, causing me to declare Consenting Adults a really,
really stupid movie. Why Richard was comfortable having her back afterwards is beyond me. The same goes for her after he
agreed to the wife-swapping deal without her permission.
The biggest mistake is being buddy-buddy with a newly moved-in neighbor. The more entrenched the relationship becomes, the harder
it'll be living next to him if things go sour one day. Then, somebody will have to move out, hence the ending which shows an
isolated house with grass for miles and miles.
Forest Whitaker is ineffective as David Duttonville the insurance investigator. I wasn't sure if he was for real
because there's no official confirmation of his identity. What Richard Parker should've done when he finally tracked down
Kay (Olivia Kamen) at some run-down hotel in South Carolina is to bring Duttonville and a police officer along with
him for confirmation because this is a murder/scam case they're dealing with. Instead, he handles it alone which keeps making
his situation worse and worse.
When Kevin Spacey first showed up, I began to laugh. Look at his ridiculous hair. What a bad dye job. Then again, he has
made a career out of playing arrogant assholes, thus giving himself away as the main instigator. It's bad enough when he's
sporting an Uzi while waiting for Kevin Kline to come up the stairs but is surprisingly hit in the behind through the
window on the second floor. So, what's this...Mission: Impossible?
All in all, you're better off seeing either Frantic or Malice.
Constantine (2005)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/06
6/06:
Constantine moves well during the first half-hour but crumbles the rest of the way.
It would be nice if the filmmakers can just focus on the meat of the plot while keeping up with the quality of acting. But
instead, they decide to use CGI to showcase its power in a masturbatory manner. Come on, I want a story, not abuse on my eyes.
All in all, here's a memo to everybody who was involved with Constantine: learn how to simplify.
The Contender (2000)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
5/04, 6/22
6/22:
Better than Advise & Consent, The Contender is a modern remake that branches out with a strong cast.
Honestly, I hate politicians and how they conduct themselves. They're nothing but criminals in expensive suits with well-timed
lines and manners. Anyone can spot them as a fake from a mile away. Unsurprisingly, The Contender is full of
them, yet it's a well-made movie with exceptional acting across the board although there's an obvious liberal slant.
It's extremely difficult to see Laine Hanson succeeding through the confirmation as Vice President of the United
States due to the less-than-stellar content of her character. In reality, the scandal should have finished Laine's career
in politics before Kamala Harris can stop giggling like a goddamn fool, regardless of what she said to the President at the end,
because public perception is literally everything.
Gary Oldman may be a solid actor, but I find him guilty of being phony at times. Nevertheless, he has done a
fine job while Joan Allen isn't bad although I hate her character. Sam Elliott may have given the performance of his
career; as a result, he got robbed of an Oscar nomination. Happily, it went to Jeff Bridges who's by far the best
performer of the show. By the way, that's not the real Arlington National Cemetery because nobody is allowed to run there.
All in all, if you love political films, don't miss The Contender.
The Conversation (1974)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
3/08
3/08:
Must I sit for two hours straight to find out almost nothing happens?
That's what I endured when I saw The Conversation while dying for an ending. They should've re-titled it as
The Sloppy Private Operator Who Can't Manage Himself Properly. The plot is about nothing which revolves
around a simple conversation that may or may not lead to something sinister only that I stopped caring midway.
Gene Hackman plays the most boring introvert ever. It's depressing enough that I don't care to fathom his reasons to tear
his apartment apart at the end. Perhaps he finally realized that his life sucked.
All in all, The Conversation is overrated.
Convict Cowboy (1995)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/14, 4/22
7/14:
If Jon Voight is the leading star, I'll watch the picture.
That's how much I respect him. This time, it's Convict Cowboy. As always, Jon Voight delivers his best stuff, even if
it's for a telefilm. Kyle Chandler isn't bad and Ben Gazzara has a nice little role, but Maria Gay Harden inexplicably
disappears after she's set up for a romance plot. Instead, the movie is focused on Jon Voight and Kyle Chandler doing their
thing.
All in all, if you're a Jon Voight fan, then check out Convict Cowboy.
4/22:
Here's a film that mixes Jon Voight with cowboys, prison, and rodeo: Convict Cowboy.
Despite not being on the same level as Junior Bonner, solid acting comes through loud and clear.
Jon Voight is unbeatable. Kyle Chandler is up for it, matching him scene for scene, but he should be wearing gloves while working outdoors.
The story is good and makes for an easy viewing.
There's an attempt at love with Marcia Gay Harden's character, but it was never going to work out. So, the focus is shifted on
the mentor-protégé relationship between the characters of Jon Voight and Kyle Chandler. The way the former is set up reminds
me of Runaway Train with the latter standing in for Eric Roberts. There's no escape involved; it's just two
guys doing their time.
All in all, you can do no wrong by giving Convict Cowboy a chance.
Convicts (1991)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/16
1/16:
Convicts is the most brain-dead movie I've seen in my life.
Hey, I'm a big fan of Robert Duvall, but this is so retarded. A routine conversation between his character and the boy
goes like this:
"What was his name?"
"Paul Horace Robedaux, sir."
"Your daddy's dead?"
"Yes, sir."
"Now, who the hell are you?"
"Horace, sir."
"What was your daddy's name?"
"Paul Horace. Paul Horace Robedaux."
"What's your name again?"
"Horace, sir."
"What was your daddy's name?"
"Paul Horace. Paul Horace Robedaux."
"Your daddy's dead?"
"Yes, sir."
It goes like this over and over like a broken record throughout, and I'm not kidding. The best explanation of why Robert
Duvall agreed to take on the role for Horton Foote, an overrated screenwriter, is that he won the Best Actor Oscar for
his other play Tender Mercies and did Convicts as a favor.
All in all, who wants to watch a film about a fully senile man?
Coogan's Bluff (1968)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/07
7/07:
Is Coogan's Bluff the weirdest Clint Eastwood movie I've ever seen?
And was he auditioning for a role in an adult film? Coogan chases different women. One is seemingly clean, but
he rejects her, preferring to go after a loony junkie and has a one-night stand with her.
Although Coogan's Bluff can be considered as a warmup to Dirty Harry, the plot and direction are terrible.
Coogan transports his guy to the airport, gets whacked in the head, and loses him. At the end, he gets him back. It sounds
like Madigan all over again. In fact, both were released during the same year, so which came first?
All in all, the title Coogan's Bluff is appropriate because I was expecting a Dirty Harry-like movie yet got
bluffed.
The Cook, the Thief, His Wife
& Her Lover (1989)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/15
3/15:
I haven't seen a film that's unusual and different like The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover in a long time.
The change of scenery is welcoming, and it pays off handsomely well. However, my opinion is still mixed. First of all, the
cinematography and the colors are enticing. It's never static but is always moving from one room to another in the restaurant
through a long tracking shot. Every room has a dominant color, and it's reflected by the wardrobe changes of characters
walking from one room to another.
One reviewer described the play as a "character study of weird people," but I beg to differ: it's rather a "character
study of masochists and sadists." Only Albert is a walking practitioner of the Seven Deadly Sins; after abusing his prerogative
so much, he's finally outdone by his wife because she has had enough and can't take it anymore. Sure, there's no feeling for
anyone because they're unconventional and repulsive.
The problem is the amount of excess although it's not as bad as Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma. Hence,
the pace can be uneven at times. There are too much talking, too much abusive behavior, and too much repetition. The
days are recycled as they're more of the same. Therefore, the running length should be shorter.
Momentum is slowed down by the time the lovers appear in the book depository when the setting should be within the confines
of the restaurant. There are many set pieces which can be thought of as metaphors, yet I can't make them out.
I like the mural, The Banquet of the Officers of the St. George Militia Company which was painted by Frans Hals in 1616,
that's situated behind the patrons. It represents the base elements between two generations which haven't
changed an iota: the pursuit of avarice, torture, and gormandizing. The long tracking shot from outside to the kitchen to the
dining room to the lavatory represents the digestion cycle with a different dominant color room by room as the mood changes for
each stage of the cycle.
All in all, The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover tops anything by Fellini and is among the most avant-garde
pictures made.
Cool and the Crazy (1994)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/15
8/15:
Cool and the Crappy is an unknown telefilm that contains some of the worst acting ever on celluloid.
There isn't a plot in this dud, either. Because of the cars, the clothes, and the ugly baby carriage, it tries to
be a 50's picture but stays within the 90's. The ending, which is filled with black-and-white pictures, is beyond
ridiculous.
Alicia Silverstone gave only one good performance, and that's The Crush. The rest of her career had been
forgettable because she always played herself. Jared Leto wouldn't hit his stride until Prefontaine before
following it up with Requiem for a Dream.
Jennifer Blanc's character, Joannie, is unbelievable for somebody who's supposed to be from the 50's. For the majority of the
time, she's like Joan Cusack on crack. The most amusing, over-the-top acting honor goes to Matthew Flint who reminds me of
Ben Affleck. In fact, he looks like a clone of him.
All in all, Cool and the Crappy doesn't work as anything.
Cool as Ice (1991)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
7/07, 11/11
7/07:
The tagline for Cool as Ice reads: "When a girl has a heart of stone, there's one way to melt it."
So, how? "Just add ice." Um, okay...how exactly does that work? Anyway, the movie starts off well with good dance moves and
lyrics. Then, the story rolls along that's akin to The Wild One. Some have pointed out to Rebel Without a Cause,
but it's technically incorrect. My initial expectations were kept low, but the film turns out to be enjoyable. Sure, some scenes are
cheesy.
One of the most memorable figures in 90's music, Robert (Not Rip) Van Winkle, aka Vanilla Ice, makes an impressive debut
performance. Opposite him is Kristin Minter who holds her ground as she puts up with the silliness.
All in all, Cool as Ice isn't terrible as people have made it out to be.
11/11:
Cool as Ice makes for a fair viewing.
All in all, Cool as Ice is harmless.
Cool Hand Luke (1967)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/06
4/06:
Cool Hand Luke has left me baffled.
It's about a person who chooses to piss his life away for no apparent reason. That makes it hard for me to care about him.
The movie is too long, and the momentum dies after a couple of Luke's escape attempts. I have no sympathy for
him, and the ending doesn't do anything for me. The well-known line "What we've got here is failure to communicate" is
overrated.
Paul Newman relies on his good looks to get by instead of getting into his character. George Kennedy's Oscar win is a
joke. It's nothing special. On the bright side, I like the prison life and the subplots, especially the
tanned woman and the fifty eggs contest.
All in all, there are better prison pictures than Cool Hand Luke.
Cool Runnings (1993)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/14
2/14:
Cool Runnings is a funny picture, thanks to the quartet of Jamaican characters.
Although John Candy is featured, he provides nearly none of the comedy that I expect from him. Rather, he's
relegated to a secondary role to keep things moving at a brisk pace.
Cool Runnings may be based on a true story, but most of it is completely fabricated which makes things a bit weird.
However, from a cinematic perspective, it's exceptional, and the bobsledding scenes are the most dramatic. For a
Disney picture, it unfortunately has a couple of unnecessary profane words.
All in all, Cool Runnings makes for a fast, enjoyable viewing.
Cool World (1992)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
2/15
2/15:
It's impossible to watch Cool World without thinking of Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
Both are similar when it comes to bridging the gap between two worlds: real and cartoon. However, what makes the former different
is it's not for kids. Believe it or not, I was liking the film and ready to give it an '8' until the last fifteen minutes
which is a total screw-up of an ending. Harris, who's played by Brad Pitt, was supposed to die as a way of saying "This is
what happens in the real world." Ditto for Holli.
I have no idea what the hell happened to Jack Deebs as he becomes some sort of a superhero(?). There should be a
more appropriate ending for him from a moral standpoint because he's the one who created Cool World. So, that's why I like
the film for its premise: two separate worlds where the characters have to abide by certain laws.
The idea of no cartoon characters allowed to have sex with human beings in Cool World is great because it'll upset
the balance of life. The film shows why and what will happen afterwards. Also, I like the idea of Harris electing to live
in Cool World because he doesn't want to deal with the problems that are associated with the real world. The background looks creative
in order to blend in with the set pieces.
In the meantime, Brad Pitt, Gabriel Byrne, and Kim Basinger turn in fantastic performances although it's hard to make their
acting work when standing next to the cartoon characters. Hence, they end up being slightly off the mark whether it's by eye
or physical contact. There are times the cartoon characters can be too many.
All in all, Cool World is an interesting neo-noir picture that's marred big time by the ill-advised ending.
A Cool, Dry Place (1998)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
1/24
1/24:
It doesn't take me long to recognize A Cool, Dry Place is a Kramer vs. Kramer clone.
This time, it goes in a different direction because there's no divorce happening; just a separation with both parties
who eventually come to terms with reality. I sided with the father the entire time. Obviously, the mother
sought reconciliation with the kid because he happened to resemble her. Otherwise, she wouldn't want to be reminded of
his father on a daily basis.
Now, I must point out the stupidity on Russ' part. There are millions of successful working single mothers, highly paid or
not. Hence, I fail to see why Russ couldn't take the job in Dallas. All he had to do is put Calvin in school; hiring a babysitter
is a no-brainer, too. His true problem is, metaphorically speaking, cutting off the umbilical cord. Also, Russ had the
right to press charges against his wife for kidnapping, yet for a lawyer, the thought never occurred to him.
The only good performance is given by Vince Vaughn who does enough to make the movie work, but the kid is annoying and
is therefore used as a prop to advance the plot. By the way, is Calvin supposed to be autistic or what? Monica Potter is awful;
the goal was to make Russ feel chemistry with her character, but it's practically nonexistent, so what can be the issue after
all? It would be more believable had Anne Heche been cast instead. If you don't believe me, then I recommend you to
check out Return to Paradise, a top two Vince Vaughn picture.
All in all, although underwhelming, A Cool, Dry Place is worth watching to catch a glimpse of Vince Vaughn's
Brando-like acting during his prime from 1996 to 1998.
Cop (1988)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/20
4/20:
Based on James Ellroy's novel Blood on the Moon, director James B. Harris makes no apologies for going neo-noir
in Cop while unabashedly breaking every rule in the police handbook.
I wonder if James Woods signed up for the politically incorrect role so he could blow the sucker away at the end.
If that's the case, I don't blame him. Again, it's another terrific performance by James Woods. His personal style
is all over the film.
Yeah, there are a lot of times that made me go, "Hmm...okay." None is more obvious than the part when Detective Hopkins
apprehended the guy in his car, shot him to death, and went home with the deceased's girlfriend while leaving his partner behind to
clean up the mess. The most amusing moment is when he rolled his eyes after listening to Kathleen McCarthy's super-boring talk.
Like the plot, the supporting cast is excellent: Charles Durning, Lesley Ann Warren, Randi Brooks, Raymond J. Barry, and
Charles Haid. Most importantly, it's the direction that keeps the film on point as it's gritty and dark.
This way, the characters can be real even they may come off as idiots.
All in all, a film goes a long way when James Woods is at his best, and that's the case for Cop.
Cop Land (1997)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
9/03, 9/05, 6/17, 3/20
9/05:
After seeing Cop Land, I was thinking how the plot didn't seem to be coherent.
The logic doesn't hold water because there's no way the sheriff would've finked to Ray and kept Superboy at his police
station without alerting the NYPD while being dumb enough to have no backup in the morning prior to walking outside with
Superboy. Also, the Nixon's quote "No one is above the law" feels ripped off from Steven Seagal's picture.
Anyway, what a stellar all-star cast. But the performances don't live up to the hype although the intensity is there and the
climactic scene is dramatic and explosive. Robert De Niro overacts. Harvey Keitel is typical. Ray Liotta tries
too hard to imitate the same stuff from Goodfellas. Sylvester Stallone looks depressed. Robert Patrick is still
recovering from the dart incident. Yet it's interesting to witness the meeting of two washed-up ex-boxers in the same room:
Jake LaMotta and Rocky Balboa.
All in all, Cop Land is a nice try.
6/17:
James Mangold must have called Martin Scorsese and asked, "Can you give me the guys from Mean Streets,
Raging Bull, and Goodfellas?"
And Marty said, "Hell, yes!!!" One of the best scenes in Cop Land is when Jake LaMotta meets Rocky Balboa, both
over-the-hill fat slobs who are out of it. It's a surreal moment. So is seeing Robert De Niro and Harvey Keitel together.
That's a lot of Mean Streets memories right there.
What I love is the quality of the cast: Sylvester Stallone, Harvey Keitel, Ray Liotta, Robert
Patrick, Cathy Moriarty, Frank Vincent, Michael Rapaport, and Annabella Sciorra who can be easily mistaken for Marisa Tomei.
Even Debbie Harry and Method Man are included.
When I first saw Cop Land in 1997, I thought it was a blah movie that featured Sylvester Stallone's futile attempt to
be taken seriously after gaining forty pounds. But it has stayed intriguing over the years. Today, I recognize it
as an exceptional neo-noir thriller that's Western-like. It's funny how time can be kind to films this way.
I have to say Sylvester Stallone gives the best performance of the show. There's a lot to like about what he did
with his character: a poor, pathetic hard-of-hearing bum who isn't bright and lets himself be pushed over by everybody
in blue. It's sad but effective. Then, the dirty guys appear in the likes of Harvey Keitel, Ray Liotta, Robert Patrick,
and Arthur J. Nascarella with names like Ray Donlan, Gary Figgis, Jack Rucker, and Frank Lagonda. That's some serious
powerhouse acting.
The best scene by far is the shootout; it's brilliantly shot and almost reminiscent of Brian De Palma's stuff. My
favorite is when Ray tried to say something and Freddy gave a powerful yet haunting line: "I can't hear you, Ray."
Sylvester Stallone shouldn't have regrets about taking on the role considering the fact that it was a move that set his career
back for years. It's one of the best performances I've seen from him who owns everybody which is no
easy achievement given the number of high-profile actors. By the way, NYPD officers are not allowed to live outside New
York state despite wanting to escape the city's high tax.
All in all, give Cop Land another try, and you'll be surprised how much better it looks today.
3/20:
I keep forgetting how good Sylvester Stallone is as a total loser in Cop Land.
That being said, he should've received an Oscar nomination for Best Actor. Armed with an interesting screenplay, it's
brilliant in the tradition of Sydney Lumet's police corruption films. The cast is dynamite, bringing together
guys and a gal from Mean Streets, Goodfellas, Raging Bull, and Rocky combined. When I saw Stallone and
Robert De Niro in the same scene, all I could think of is Rocky Balboa meeting Jake LaMotta.
I love the appearances of Ray Liotta, Harvey Keitel, Robert Patrick, and Arthur J. Nascarella. They bring a hard edge to the story.
Sure, nobody is perfect or smart, so they're flawed human beings. The last fifteen minutes is the
most explosive and the best part which is the reason why I love seeing the film over and over.
All in all, Cop Land is the policeman's version of On the Waterfront.
Cops and Robbersons (1994)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/04, 11/08
11/08:
Cops and Robbersons was supposed to be a funny movie because it had Chevy Chase.
Yet it didn't work out that way. Lately, I've been realizing that the more Chevy Chase movies I watch, the more
overrated he is. He isn't a funny guy. The only exception is National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. By the way,
he looks stupid in the movie poster with his hand on his chest.
Anyway, back to Cops and Robbersons which is a nice title. It's five percent funny but ninety-five percent stupid.
Chevy Chase tries to generate comedy by acting like an idiot. His character longs to be a cop, but I never get to know why he
couldn't be. I'm sure he could find a way to make it happen. All he has to do is move around. It's not clear why the
family has problems.
On the other hand, I hoped Jack Palance's character would tell him the hard cold facts of what it's like to be a cop,
but he never did. He ironically keeps the film moving by his antics and has good lines such as "I don't mow lawns"
and a couple more that are in the form of "I don't..."
All in all, the proper reaction to Cops and Robbersons is a blank stare.
Copycat (1995)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/03, 7/19
7/19:
Copycat is an underrated serial killer picture that pairs two of the best actresses from the 80's: Sigourney Weaver
and Holly Hunter.
Both are excellent. Adding Harry Lee Connick, Jr., into the mix is a treat. It's probably the best performance
of his career. He plays a creepy-looking guy. Dermot Mulroney is also good and backs Holly Hunter up very
well. William McNamara appears to be the second coming of Ethan Hawke which, for some reason, never materialized.
The story is clever, using ideas from past real-life serial killers, to make the film work better and more logically than,
say, The January Man. I appreciate the tie-ins, making me guess which method goes to which infamous serial
killer(s).
All in all, Copycat is an underrated policier with plenty of intelligence, great acting, and intrigue.
The Cotton Club (1984)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/23
10/23:
What goes on in The Cotton Club is more or less true.
The club did show only light-skinned black entertainers, had been strictly patronized by whites, and was owned by a British
gangster named Owney Madden. Not many people know Harlem was a white community for decades until the blacks took over
during the 30's. There's a mix of factual and made-up names (Dixie Dwyer didn't exist and was probably
George Raft). The rest of the details is fictional.
Standing out the most are the costumes and the cinematography. They are what makes the film go. However, there are too many
subplots. Francis Ford Coppola is a gifted storyteller, but he lost control over them. I don't see the point in the
relationship of Gregory Hines' and Lonette McKee's characters. The same can be somewhat said for Richard Gere and Diane
Lane although they have fair chemistry, hence two more films together.
Thanks to the all-star cast, the performances on the whole are easy to like. Richard Gere actually could play the cornet. James
Remar steals the show as Dutch Schultz. It's strange seeing Laurence Fishburne because he went on to do an expanded version
of his character in an overlong film called Hoodlum involving Dutch Schultz and Lucky Luciano.
All in all, although The Cotton Club has a bad reputation due to producer Robert Evans' mishandling, it's an
enjoyable period picture.
Cotton Comes to Harlem (1970)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
11/21
11/21:
Theatrically released one year before Shaft and Sweetback's Baadasssss Song, Cotton Comes to Harlem is among
the first pictures of the Blaxploitation genre and represents it very well.
Unfortunately, time hasn't been kind to the film which was shot on location in Harlem. The trouble is it decides to
be frivolous at inopportune times. Had they been cut out, the detective plot would've been on the same level as Shaft.
Instead, it's a message picture of how black leaders take advantage of their own people in the name of black power which
is true to this day. Just look at the bullshit put up by BLM. What Deke O'Malley talks about smacks of
"Back to Africa" movement that was led by Marcus Garvey who had no infrastructure in place and never had been there in his whole life.
There's no question the dialogue is well-written, but it can be stagy at times. There's a good assortment of characters,
however foolish some of them may be. The acting is fine for the most part, but there are no standouts.
All in all, Cotton Comes to Harlem is both silly and dull to pass for entertainment.
The Count (1916)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
10/07
10/07:
My cat watched The Count for a minute and then fell asleep.
He never woke up again for five hours which is a strong indication of how boring the movie is.
All in all, The Count is more of the same bullshit from Charlie Chaplin.
The Counterfeit Traitor (1962)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/19
7/19:
Although The Counterfeit Traitor contains good moments for an espionage picture, it has noticeable problems.
When I mean problems, they begin with the terrible shooting of Frau Marianne Möllendorf which marks the height of 60's
restraint because she's never shown physically harmed. The film goes like this for the majority of the time.
Yes, William Holden is great, and this should've worked for him. Yet it's not real enough.
On the other hand, Lilli Palmer, a true
German-Austrian Jew who was once married to Rex Harrison, is even better. I can tell she achieved realism by putting a
lot of passion into her role. In short, Lilli Palmer is the reason why the film moves well at crucial points.
Another nice part is it's shot on location all over Europe. The story is complex in a bewildering way. Once I
get the main gist of the plan, the goings-on become tolerable. Yet it's too long for an old-fashioned movie: 140 minutes. The
costumes are distracting, and I can tell Edith Head was trying to make a ridiculous fashion statement when Holden's
character was secretly escorted by Ingrid van Bergen who made herself obvious by wearing a shiny black jacket with green
labels. Enough of that crap; this isn't a Hitchcock movie. It's supposed to be a WWII drama with lives at stake.
A lot of the facts as presented never happened. But Eric Erickson was a real person who helped to end
WWII early by pretending to be a Nazi in order to find out the coordinates of top-secret synthetic oil plants which were
eventually bombed. However, there's no dramatic escape. Yes, a female spy was involved, but her real name was Anne-Maria
Freudenreich.
All in all, had the acting been more real, the running length shorter, and the costumes less silly,
The Counterfeit Traitor would be a highly recommended WWII espionage thriller.
Countess Dracula (1971)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/13
4/13:
Hammer Horror films have a reputation for not being well-made, but Countess Dracula is an exception to the rule.
The story has an uncommon angle which deals with a female vampire who thirsts for human blood just to stay young. Fitting
for a Hammer Horror production, it's, of course, colorful but oddly lacks blood.
Meanwhile, the performances aren't bad. Nigel Green, who plays Dobi, is the standout. Ingrid Pitt, who's known for appearing in
Where Eagles Dare and The Wicker Man, does a good job of playing the titular character.
All in all, Countess Dracula is decent.
A Countess from Hong Kong (1967)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
11/06
11/06:
Directed by Charlie Chaplin, which is the final of his career, A Countess from Hong Kong is an okay picture.
Although the tramp tried so hard to make it be all about him, I was only interested for Marlon Brando's sake. Charlie
Chaplin was still stuck with the slapstick mentality from the 10's and 20's silent films, and it's embarrassing to watch.
Had he dropped that by adapting to the changing times, it would've been better because the story was working out well.
Marlon Brando looked trapped acting-wise, probably at Charlie Chaplin's insistence. Years later, he wrote in his autobiography
the director was sadistic by the way he treated his son on the movie set. In turn, Chaplin thought Brando was impossible
to work with which is nothing new. Meanwhile, Sophia Loren still couldn't act.
All in all, A Countess from Hong Kong is not much of a comedy.
Country (1984)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/21
7/21:
Out of the three "Save the Farm" pictures during 1984 (the other two being The River and Places in the Heart),
Country is the dullest.
Not being informed of what happened, it's difficult to pass judgment on Ivy's family. Had I been allowed to see the big picture
going back by maybe five years in regard to their financial situation, I'll be able to figure out whose fault it is. Hence, I
can't sympathize with them and think they should move on because of their inability to pay off the loans.
Since there are four able-bodied people in the family, why not each of them get a job to make at least eight grand during the
year so that way they can contribute $32,000 toward the loan? Heck, the little girl can take on babysitting jobs for twenty
dollars a day.
As for the cast, the acting is all right. Jessica Lange's Oscar-nominated performance is overrated and doesn't do anything for
me. Any chance of redemption for Sam Shepard's character is impossible after he beat up his wife and son. If standing outside
in the freezing cold will make him look better, he has another think coming.
What really happened is: after the boom of the 70's that saw consecutive record harvests which led to greater amounts of money
borrowed by the farmers for expansion, they went bust during the early 80's after the prices of their land and crop had gone down
significantly due to high surplus because of the grain embargo against USSR. Hence, they couldn't make their loans, and in
turn, there were many bank failures which was a record since the Great Depression. In 1962, total farm debt was $60 billion,
but it ballooned to $216 billion after thirty years. The government tried to scale back on its support for the farmers as
the interest rate increased too much in order to slow down the rate of inflation.
Elsewhere, Levi Knebel, who plays Carlisle, was sentenced to ten years in prison for manufacturing meth in 2012,
and there's a mugshot of him online sporting a black eye. He had been arrested in the past for drug-related offenses. Country
was the only film he did, and he was 17 at that time. Playing the intellectually disabled son of Arlen, Jim Ostercamp of Waterloo,
Iowa, died in 2014 at the age of 60.
All in all, Places in the Heart has fast pace and terrific acting while Country and The River are long
and plain.
Courage Under Fire (1996)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
7/08
7/08:
After their time for Glory, Edward Zwick re-teams with Denzel Washington seven years later for another military
picture: Courage Under Fire.
Although Denzel Washington does a nice job, I would say it helped him to get ready for Antwone Fisher. There are a lot
of similarities between these two.
Excellent performances are also turned in by Matt Damon and Lou Diamond Phillips. The former lost a good deal of weight for
the role which is noticeable by the thinness of his face. Now, what the hell happened to the latter? He did
La Bamba and Stand and Deliver, and...just fell off the map. I question the casting of Meg Ryan; there's the lack
of credibility whenever I see her wearing a military uniform. She can't act anyway.
What I like is the story. It's gripping and arresting. The editing, which includes some action in Iraq, is done well-done.
There's a surprising twist near the end that'll start making sense. However, I did feel somewhat lost when one character
committed suicide, leaving behind something that went unresolved.
All in all, Courage Under Fire is an interesting military mystery picture.
Cousins (1989)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
5/20
5/20:
Initially, I thought Ted Danson was just a TV actor, but after seeing Cousins, I was dead wrong.
It's one of the greatest romantic and also funniest movies made, being the main precursor of Hugh Grant's British classic
Four Weddings and a Funeral. Then again, it's a remake of a French film called Cousin cousine which I
haven't seen.
Electrifying is the chemistry between Ted Danson and Isabella Rossellini. It's easy to see their characters are made
for each other. They steal every scene when together. So, why aren't there Oscar nominations for them? It's
incredible. Then again, 1989 was a tough year.
The cast is impeccable and has a great beat, giving the film a lively pace. Some of the best performances come from Norma
Aleandro, Lloyd Bridges, Keith Coogan, and Gina DeAngeles. Not to be missed are William Petersen and Sean Young who play
shallow characters; they're made to be together.
While watching the film, I often wondered why it was called Cousins. Because there are many family members involved,
I've had a hard time figuring out the relations. Now, I see Maria's mother married Larry's father's brother. It makes
them cousins but technically speaking, they're step-cousins. After the brother died and then Larry's father married Maria's mother,
Larry and Maria became step-siblings. To think of incest between them is moot because there's no bloodline involved.
All in all, I didn't know Joel Schumacher had it in him, but he finally directed a winner in Cousins.
Coyote Ugly (2000)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/06
2/06:
The high amount of cringeworthy scenes in Coyote Ugly has made my skin crawl.
A dopey-looking girl who dances sexy like never before gets everything going in New York City just like that? It'll never
happen in a million of years. I still have nightmares from my enrollment in Women's Studies, a college course I dropped
the next day. It's because I don't need to be manhandled by being told that women are the bomb and everything.
All in all, Coyote Ugly says it's okay for me to open a bar and have the female dancers wooing male
patrons before facing the music of going to prison for thousands of pimping violations.
The Craft (1996)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
12/16
12/16:
For a chick flick, The Craft is enjoyable, works well on the fantasy level, and makes it easy to be
interested in Wicca.
Of course, it deals with witchcraft which is a bunch of made-up stuff, and there's no basis in truth. So, suspending
disbelief is the best course of action if you want to enjoy the movie. Good performances are rendered by the
ensemble cast. Robin Tunney, Fairuza Balk (whose first name is a Farsi word for "turquoise" in reference to the color
of her eyes), Neve Campbell, and Rachel True have great chemistry together. The boys aren't bad, either.
Only Robin Tunney, who wears a wig because she shaved her head for Empire Records, stands out with her solid acting,
but Fairuza Balk, an actual Wiccan, steals the show constantly. As for Skeet Ulrich, a Johnny Depp look-alike, it's his
first role in a feature length picture, and he would re-team with Neve Campbell during the same year for Scream.
Many films will go overboard when special effects come into play. But in The Craft, it's appropriately used to
underscore the fantasy power of magic spells. That's why the movie is fun to watch, thanks to Tony Gardner and others.
According to IMDb, one scene contains "over 3,000 snakes including pythons, boas, water snakes, garter
snakes, rat snakes, and a 10-foot Amazon constrictor, even rare albino snakes." But the beached sharks are fake models.
The story works well and teaches an important lesson: power corrupts. When Nancy saw what she could do with the magic spells,
she went crazy with two friends chiming in. But Sarah kept them in check by limiting them to keep the power away. Because magic
spells can't be undone, there are a couple of loose ends that aren't properly tied up at the end such as: what's going to
happen to the blond girl's hair, and what about Skeet's character who's lovey-dovey about Sarah which is dangerous due
to not being able to eat, drink, or sleep?
When Sarah chanted the words, "I bind you from doing harm, Nancy. Harm against other people and harm against yourself," why not
instead say the following: "I bind you from using spells, Nancy. Spells against other people and spells against yourself"?
What's lame is the movie was rated 'R' due to teenagers dabbling in witchcraft. Come on, it's time to grow up, folks, and realize
that Salem ended over 300 years ago and that witchcraft is all made up. Interestingly, The Crucible was released during
the same year, so be sure to check it out.
All in all, The Craft is worth watching.
Crash (1996)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
Talk about disappointment.
Crash is nothing but sex, car crashes, sex, car crashes, sex, and car crashes. That's all there is to the movie.
It looks like David Cronenberg's run of greatness is officially over. The acting isn't the problem, and the chemistry
isn't the problem, either. Simply put, there's no plot.
The concept is intriguing which makes for a good, provocative picture, but it runs on flat tires most of the time. What should
be sexy in a subtle way is tranformed into pornography. Many times, the scenes have left me falling asleep. David
Cronenberg is more interested in visuals. Sometimes, it's too much.
All in all, any film involving both James Spader and Holly Hunter should be worth its salt, but Crash is disappointing.
Crash (2004)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
2/06
2/06:
It's about time: Matt Dillon is awarded an Oscar nomination.
Anyway, Crash is one of the most overrated Best Picture winners of all time yet has a couple of oustanding performances
by Matt Dillon and Terrence Howard. The amount of racism is pretentious, stupid, and silly. I'm only surprised Spike Lee
didn't direct this.
Hurting the film further, there are too many subplots, leaving behind unanswered questions. The theme is more of "let's
tackle the tough issues by confronting them head-on." The emotions as shown by some of the thespians are overdone. Take Sandra
Bullock, she's constantly screaming all the time, and it's embarrassing to watch.
As great as Terrence Howard is, Matt Dillon is special. It's easily one of the best performances of his career. What makes
it so good is how he's submerged into his character of a seemingly racist police officer who isn't in
fact racist, troubled, or psychotic; he's just a human being putting on a front. When the revelation comes, it's easy to
have some respect for him.
All in all, if you need a reason to see Crash, it's for Matt Dillon.
Crazy Little Thing (2002)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
9/06
9/06:
Crazy Little Thing is a clever, if snobbish, picture.
I love how the events are circular, meeting at the same point as the story expands over the course of time. It's a nice
gimmick while being fresh and to the point. At the same time, it's obsessed with sex, but surprisingly, there's no nudity
throughout.
The acting, especially from Jenny McCarthy and Chris Eigeman, is good. I'm a sucker for the voice-over narration
technique, especially when the main character breaks the fourth wall which is implemented well here.
All in all, Crazy Little Thing works.
Crazy/Beautiful (2001)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/06, 2/19
10/06:
Crazy/Beautiful is an exceptional romantic picture with fine performances by Kirsten Dunst, Jay Hernandez, and Bruce
Davison.
At first glance, it seems to be a typical throwaway teenager love story, but it's nothing like that. The premise is interesting,
and the acting goes a long way. High on romance, Kirsten Dunst and Jay Hernandez give everything they have to make themselves
believable. I liked their characters so much that I was rooting for their relationship to work out.
All in all, you'll be surprised to see how good Crazy/Beautiful is.
2/19:
Crazy/Beautiful still holds up well with marvelous performances by Kirsten Dunst, Jay Hernandez, and Bruce Davison.
It's the acting that makes the story to work, and the romance between the lead characters is more than believable. Obviously,
Nicole appears to be a trashy high school female who prefers to tune out, but Kirsten Dunst's incredible acting makes
me care about her. Carlos is a good choice for her based on the content of his character. By the way, despite his Hispanic
look, Jay Hernandez didn't know Spanish and had to learn his lines phonetically.
All in all, the title of the film means Kirsten Dunst is crazy and Jay Hernandez is beautiful, and they're perfect for each other.
Creed (2015)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/16
5/16:
It's another year, and a Rocky sequel must be made.
This time, it's called Creed, a story about the son of Apollo Creed who's trained by none other than Rocky Balboa
for the championship fight. He predictably loses but leaves the ring with honor and plenty of wisdom.
Laden with clichés and predictable moments, the sequel is basically a remake of Rocky, Rocky II,
Rocky V, and Rocky Balboa all rolled into one. Honestly, my message to Sylvester Stallone is this: just stop it
already...you're embarrassing yourself and the franchise.
Sylvester Stallone didn't deserve the Oscar nomination for Best Actor in a Supporting Role. It's an ordinary,
no-great-shakes performance. If he went for the follow-up of Rocky's brain damage that was sustained during the boxing match with Ivan Drago,
it would've made for a compelling film, even if this means demolishing the myth of his character's image by giving
it straight to the audience. Then, I can see an Oscar in the works for Sylvester Stallone.
Anyway, I'm not going to mention the black actor's name; he's awful, and his character is repulsive. Ditto for the
selfish, talentless girl who looks like Lenny Kravitz's daughter. What I hate the most is how ghetto the whole thing is.
The final nails in the coffin occured in two different scenes. First is the sight of the tattoos on Leo Sporino's body. The
second, which is the worst scene of the entire franchise, is Adonis doing his most ridiculous-looking Rocky imitation with the
black guys doing wheelies around him. That's when I knew the film was being catered to a different generation.
During my viewing, I could only think of one thing: boxing is so dead. The sport died more than twenty
years ago. People don't care nowadays. During the post-fight interview, Rocky should've punched Max Kellerman's lights out.
Michael Buffer's trademark announcing style is thirty years past its expiration date. Meanwhile, there's no reason for Adonis'
mother to watch ESPN. Only idiots do that. Why would she take the opinions of two nitwits seriously?
All in all, I'm never watching another Rocky sequel; enough is enough.
Creepshow 2 (1987)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
11/03, 10/04, 3/06
3/06:
Creepshow 2 is a horror anthology film of only three stories: Old Chief Wood'nhead, The Raft, and
The Hitchhiker.
The first and the last are crap, so forget them. A must-see, The Raft is the real deal. The setup and the atmosphere
are well-done. I love the ending; it's brilliant, leaving me with a dead silence.
In the meantime, the cartoon parts, which are supplied as a bonus, are great, and I've enjoyed them. It's nice to see
Dorothy Lamour again. She was beautiful in her prime and famous for appearing in the Road to... movies with Bing Crosby
and Bob Hope. Completely unworthy of Dorothy Lamour's stature, Creepshow 2 was the last film of her career before
passing away in 1996.
All in all, The Raft is the only vignette worth watching out of this steaming pile of crap that's called
Creepshow 2.
Crime on Their Hands (1948)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
Crime on Their Hands is like an arch.
It makes a short uphill climb, reaching for the apex, and finally heads south, way below where it started.
All in all, Crime on Their Hands is another trash film short by the Three Stooges.
Crime Wave (1953)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/09
1/09:
Crime Wave is a standard film noir picture.
For starters, the acting isn't bad as Sterling Hayden leads the way. It's a nice treat to see the young Charles
Bronson in a hoodlum role which is probably due to having worked with director André De Toth for a 1953 picture called
House of Wax.
The lighting is well-handled as the contrasting colors of black and white are visibly demarcated, heightening the
gritty feel. However, the main problem is the story which says nothing new, setting up for a bland final outcome.
All in all, Crime Wave is of the film noir material but can use some creativity to let it stand out more.
Criminal Law (1988)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/22
5/22:
Criminal Law starring Gary Oldman and Kevin Bacon might look good on paper, but it's a terrible movie.
The plot makes no sense. What's consistently on my mind is this: why didn't the police surveil the serial killer 24/7? I mean,
everybody knows who's doing it, but for now, they don't have enough evidence to put him away. The consequence is: women are
being murdered.
On the other hand, the lawyer is sure active outdoors. Almost midnight, he's out in the pouring rain and then slips down in
the middle of the woods to find a dead woman's body. Later, he's going through an underground tunnel from the gazebo to the
serial killer's bedroom. For a Harvard graduate, Ben Chase isn't smart and has a lot of free time, so when does he
ever work on cases?
I have to admit the editing did sustain my attention. However, there's a weird sex scene midway that serves no purpose.
Although Gary Oldman's intensity is all over the place and he inexplicably spits a lot, the cast is decent for the most part.
Kevin Bacon gives a believable performance, but it's all for naught anyway.
All in all, given the failure of Criminal Law, it isn't a surprise Martin Campbell is the director because he's
an idiot and his résumé is full of idiotic films.
The Crimson Pirate (1952)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
Prior to seeing The Crimson Pirate, I thought Burt Lancaster would do so many stunts, but it turns out not to be the case.
In fact, he does less here than The Flame and the Arrow. Once again, Nick Cravat
plays Burt Lancaster's mute sidekick, but he's a really creepy-looking guy. Obviously, the script feels like it was done on
the spot. In fact, that's what happened, hence the half-witted going-ons with zero comedy. There are plenty of anachronisms
such as a hot air balloon, a submarine, a flamethrower, and nitroglycerin. The violence is unbelievable given the zero drop
of blood.
At least, the Technicolor photography does the film favors. The costumes look nice, and so do the ships and the locales.
Sometimes, I'm reminded of Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
(actually, The Crimson Pirate is how it got started for Disney), especially when Burt Lancaster and two guys walked
underwater with the canoe on their heads (impossible).
All in all, ridiculous and cartoonish, The Crimson Pirate is for little kids.
Crimson Tide (1995)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/08
2/08:
Big, bad Denzel Washington goes against big, bad Gene Hackman in Crimson Tide.
That's the fun part. Although a pretty good submarine picture to relax with, it isn't great enough to
join the ranks of Das Boot and The Hunt for Red October.
The acting by the two principal leads isn't bad. The tension between them has kept me gripped, allowing me to overcome the
sluggish start which would linger for forty-five minutes. Viggo Mortensen helps out and does relatively well.
I sort of like the ending even though it's a surprise and a sharp 180 degrees at that. What I mean by it, villains are
usually overcome with their ego, wanting everything no matter what, but not this time with Gene Hackman's character who admitted
he was wrong and took it like a man.
All in all, Crimson Tide is a lot of fun because of the angry, screaming contest between Denzel Washington and
Gene Hackman.
Crin-Blanc (1953)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/19
6/19:
After seeing Le ballon rouge, I thought Crin-Blanc (White Mane) would be more of the same, but instead,
I saw fighting among horses, a defenseless rabbit being chased, and a boy and his horse who are nearly drowned.
I mean, what the hell? This isn't my idea of entertainment or what passes for a children's film. It's so slow that hardly much
happens. The ending tells me nothing: just stupid thinking on both sides. So what if the herders finally catch the
boy and his horse? It's not going to solve much.
While the horse is bucking off and running around the ring at a high speed, it has to be painful to hold on to the rope. Talk
about a bunch of burns and blisters on the hands. Incidentally, the director of the film is Albert Lamorisse, and he invented
the board game Risk in 1957. He died at the age of 48 in a helicopter accident while shooting a documentary
short in Iran. Folco's little brother is his son Pascal who's the same kid in Le ballon rouge.
All in all, if an animal is doing too much work to make the film, there's no point in watching it in the first place.
Criss Cross (1949)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
2/14, 6/24
2/14:
Thirty minutes into Criss Cross, I was skeptical of its place among top noir pictures according to several
publications.
Undeterred by the sluggishness and the B-picture feel, I stayed with it to the end, and the movie got better as time
wore on. Granted, Criss Cross has it all to fit neatly into the definition of a true film noir, but is it a great
picture? I'll say no, but it has a good story, decent acting, and cinematography but lacks the certain verve to be memorable
like The Maltese Falcon,
Double Indemnity, and
The Postman Always Rings Twice.
Worst of all, it's too similar to The Killers which was also directed by Robert Siodmak
that starred Burt Lancaster. Hence, I classify it as a remake of the aforementioned picture. No matter what, anything that's
film noir with Burt Lancaster is always a treat.
At least, the ending doesn't disappoint. However, I'm left with two questions: how did Anna get ahold of the money, and how
did Slim Dundee arrive at the place so frigging fast? Speaking of Slim, Dan Duryea has a lot of unrealized potential and can be
more sinister given his sartorial taste. Yvonne De Carlo is perfect as the femme fatale who looks similar to Lauren Bacall.
All in all, although a remake of The Killers, Criss Cross is a good, but not
great, film noir.
6/24:
Criss Cross is an okay but solid film noir picture.
The first half is slow, but it begins to take off during the second half and has a strong ending. In tremendous shape, Burt
Lancaster is right for the role, but the rest of the cast is merely okay. Tony Curtis makes his screen debut. That's how he caught
Burt Lancaster's eye by appearing in Trapeze and
Sweet Smell of Success some years later. By the way, how did Yvonne De Carlo's
character get her hands on the money after what happened during the armored car robbery? If you think about that, you'll realize
it doesn't make sense.
All in all, it's the first half that hurts Criss Cross the most.
Crocodile Dundee (1986)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
7/19
7/19:
Ask people to name a film from Australia, and the most popular response will probably be Crocodile Dundee.
It was a big hit in 1986, finishing second behind Top Gun by less than two million dollars and therefore making Paul
Hogan an overnight international star. He's most famous for playing a Rod Ansell-inspired character named Michael J.
"Crocodile" Dundee who looks every bit as authentic as Tarzan right out of the jungle.
Unfortunately, Crocodile Dundee isn't a strong movie nor is much of a comedy. Where it's weak in, Paul Hogan makes
up for it with his character who's instantly likeable with interesting quirks. Sue Charlton, played by Linda Kozlowski who
would be Paul Hogan's wife, is a stand-in for the audience and shows admiration for his Australian display of what it's to be
a man's man.
All in all, Crocodile Dundee is a unique film with a throwback reliance on simplicity, good-natured humor, and Australian
brand of originality.
Crocodile Dundee II (1988)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
9/19
9/19:
Not as good or fresh as the original, Crocodile Dundee II still has one winning asset: Paul Hogan.
When the famous Australian outback character came back again, it's good fun. Some of the other original characters return,
too. My favorite scene is when Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee threw a knife at the top of a barfly's head. The other is when
he talked a jumper out of his suicide attempt by strolling casually to him along the ledge of a high-rise building.
Unfortunately, there's not much of substance. The part when Dundee took everybody back to Australia's Northern Territory
is super boring and makes no sense. Why not kill the bad guys first and save everybody a trip?
All in all, it's hard to dislike Crocodile Dundee II because of Paul Hogan.
Cromwell (1970)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
8/18, 2/20
8/18:
Think of the great actors who like to shout such as Marlon Brando, Richard Burton, Jack Nicholson, and Oliver Reed.
Then, add Richard Harris to the list. Fiery, bold, and assertive in Cromwell with a strong command of the English
language, the guy can act. This is British history at its finest, and the story of Oliver Cromwell is pretty
much more or less true, at least in spirit. Yet it has many historical inaccuracies which is interesting because director
Ken Hughes read more than 120 books on Cromwell for nine years.
Skipping the Battle of Marston Moor in July 1644 is unforgivable to begin with. "Was not Gideon outnumbered by the Amalekites?"
Not really, it was the Midianites. There's no mention of the Second Civil War or Cromwell's brutal Irish campaign. A lot of
numbers, especially the dates, in the film are wrong as well. Oliver Cromwell ruled as a dictator afterwards and wasn't for
the common people as originally thought, yet he sowed a lot of seeds that would be important in the shaping of democracy.
Yet Cromwell has some of the best acting and most terrific battle scenes ever. Of course, because of the thousands of
extras and warlike atmosphere, it's reminiscent of Braveheart minus a love story. The British production
won the Oscar for Best Costume Design with approximately 4,000 costumes, 16,000 historical props, and thousands of
wigs which were ordered from all over Europe.
Alec Guinness sets the bar so high in terms of how to act like a king that I don't think anyone can match. I often
forget how gifted of an actor he was back then. Skip the Star Wars crap; it's not who he was. His true body of work
lies in the British theater and cinema from the 30's to 60's.
All in all, Cromwell is a good start for many viewers: the story of Oliver Cromwell, the conversion of England's rule
from monarchy to parliamentary democracy, how good of an actor Richard Harris and Alec Guinness were, and the appreciation of
British history and acting.
2/20:
An Oscar winner for Best Costume Design, Cromwell is a thrilling epic with stirring performances by Alec Guinness and
Richard Harris.
A lot of it reminds me of Braveheart. The story of Oliver Cromwell's rise to power and sweep of feudalism to pave the
way for democracy, freedom, and tolerance is more or less true, culminating in the execution of King Charles I, but the film
skips the parts that paint him as a war criminal and an ethnic cleanser, particularly of the Irish people. That being said,
it's a strange choice for Richard Harris, a fierce Irish nationalist. Nevertheless, he gives a powerful performance.
If not for Alec Guinness, I don't think Cromwell would've worked. He acts like how a king should act like. It's a
remarkable display of royalty, and therefore, he should've been nominated for an Oscar. The writing is also excellent which
makes taking sides a difficult endeavor, and the blasphemies such as "God's teeth"
and "in the bowels of Christ" is true of that time. By the way, if you've heard the phrase "warts and all," it originally
came from Oliver Cromwell who sat for a portrait but didn't care what he looked like.
All in all, Cromwell is British history at its finest.
Crónicas (2004)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/22
3/22:
Spanish for Chronicles, Crónicas is an interesting Ecuadorian picture with a great twist at the end.
John Leguizamo proves himself to be a talented actor, and he should be doing Spanish-speaking movies more often. The cast is good
as well with lots of raw third-world cinematography. But it's a story-driven film that's a mix of Network and
Mad City which is set in Ecuador.
I knew from the beginning that Vinicio Cepeda was the guy everybody was looking for. After he was to jail for an
unrelated charge, he enlists the help of an exploitative news reporter and subsequently turns the tables on him. That's when
Crónicas started to gain respect from me as a different kind of picture.
All in all, the voters made a big mistake when Crónicas wasn't Oscar-nominated for Best Foreign Language Film.
Crooklyn (1994)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/02, 8/06
8/02:
Crooklyn is one of the worst films I've ever seen in my life.
It represents everything that's fundamentally wrong with Spike Lee. The story is god-awful, hitting the bottom point in
terms of moral values while reaffirming the fact that many black children don't behave or speak properly like their white
counterparts. It's why there's not much of hope when it comes to excelling in school and getting a high-cognition job.
Troy, the little stupid selfish bitch, makes me sick to my stomach. Even more is the black kids beating up a white neighbor
which shows what kind of racist Spike Lee is. The worst line is: "I hope we don't have to dress up for mommy's funeral."
It's no wonder why she died. Wake the fuck up, Spike. This isn't the 60's when he can pretend to be the Malcolm X of his race
nowadays. What a fucking idiot he is.
All in all, Spike Lee is one of the most overrated filmmakers of all time.
8/06:
Crooklyn is appropriately titled because of the neighborhood that's a breeding ground of future black criminals.
All in all, Crooklyn makes me sick, securing an ironclad place in my Worst Films List.
Cross of Iron (1977)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/17
6/17:
Sam Peckinpah is finally back in Cross of Iron after directing four straight stinkers with each that's successively
worse: The Getaway, Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid, Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia, and
The Killer Elite.
Being nothing like The Wild Bunch, Straw Dogs, and Junior Bonner, these pictures are garbage,
showing no movie magic or coherent storytelling qualities. At that point, it seemed like Sam Peckinpah drank himself to
death, failing to see the difference between crap and shit.
Enter Cross of Iron. This one has it all. Yet it's not a great movie. The trouble is there's no story, just a weak
subplot that's about the chaos of a WWII battle. But it's not enough to sustain a picture for over two hours. The
poorly conceived ending must have happened because the filmmakers ran out of money.
The acting is decent but not believable enough. Everybody is too American or Engish to pretend to be Germans. Plus, they all
speak English. James Coburn is no good while James Mason is forgettable and therefore is of no consequence. When it comes to medals,
Mason already starred in The Blue Max. I don't know how many times Maximilian Schell had done the same role
in his lifetime, but it's been a lot.
All in all, Cross of Iron is the last good Sam Peckinpah picture, so enjoy it for the sake of editing.
Crossfire (1947)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/08
10/08:
Crossfire can be credited as the first picture to tackle a "hate crime" issue, and it works.
The performances are well-done. Robert Young stands out the most with his honest, sincere portrayal of a man who understands
the problem. Giving his speech to Leroy is powerful.
How Gloria Grahame's Ginny was set up is silly because I'm annoyed with her refusal to cooperate with the
detective because really...what's there to lose after all? Other than the acting, there isn't much else for the film, and
the story is as flat as a pancake although it has a clever trick in terms of trapping the killer.
All in all, Crossfire is a decent message picture that's by no means film noir.
The Crossing Guard (1995)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/17
10/17:
This is Sean Penn at his most indulgent and manipulative.
His take on human behavior almost reminds me of Kevin Spacey's pathetic attempts during Albino Alligator which is the
reason why he almost never directed again. The reality is people don't generally act that way.
Why did Jack Nicholson waste his talent on a small film for Sean Penn? He could've found a better, more sensible
script given his experience with such pictures during the 70's. In The Crossing Guard, Jack Nicholson acts like a
ten-year-old boy.
I don't care for the characters; everybody is acting for the sake of acting. They could've done it in theater, and it
wouldn't have made a difference. What do the lead character's party with strippers and the convicted felon's night out with
some bohemians have to do with the grand scheme of things? Either way, it makes for bad filler.
All in all, because he's fucked in the head, Sean Penn is an all-time bad director.
Crossroads (2002)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
11/20
11/20:
Yep, Crossroads...the infamous Britney Spears motion picture.
I waited this long on purpose because of my absolutely nonexistent interest in her. Finally, I saw the movie and
thought it was all right for the most part which had plenty of singing. However, the ending is cheesy to sit through.
It also brings back a bit of the 50's musical feel except this time there are a lot of exposed skin and some weird drama like
rape and child abandonment. One song is called "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman," so what is she then...a whore?
The performances are adequate, and nobody is terrible. Taking advantage of her flawless tan and bare
torso for the film's major selling points, Britney Spears is fine, not starring in a major film again when she could've
done more just to please her fans. Being eight years her senior who was coached by Robert De Niro for the role, Anson Mount
channels too much of Jonathan Rhys Meyers, and they even look the same.
I've driven on I-10 from Jacksonville to Phoenix many times, and the road the characters were on ain't it.
If they're low on money during the trip, there's no reason to deviate from the interstate highway which is the fastest way to
Los Angeles. Ditto for taking the detour to New Orleans and blowing a big chunk of their cash on a nice hotel in
the French Quarter when they should've gone straight ahead for Lafayette for cheap yet acceptable lodgings. Then again,
camping outside is free.
All in all, Crossroads is like a can of soda pop: all sugary but empty in calories.
The Crow (1994)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/03, 11/03, 3/19
3/19:
One of the most shocking news in Hollywood history is when Brandon Lee was accidentally shot to death during the filming
of The Crow.
All I could think of at that time was: "Why?" Twenty-five years later, it still makes no sense. Strangely, when I read books
about scandals and bizarre moments in the annals of cinema, Brandon Lee's death is invariably omitted. To me, it's on the same
level of what happened to Rudolph Valentino, Jean Harlow, James Dean, and, most ironically, Bruce Lee when they passed away
at a relatively young age.
Michael Massee, who plays Funboy, pulled the trigger while thinking it was a prop gun, passed away a few years ago. It wouldn't
be a surprise if the cause of his death was being eaten by the regret of what happened. Massee admitted he
had never seen the movie.
Anyway, The Crow isn't a good movie which is stuck with a terrible script. The story is silly, and the cycle
of revenge for four or five characters is repetitive. The visual look is heavy in black which gets tiresome after
a while. The acting is fair, but Brandon Lee, makeup and all, rises above everybody except for maybe Michael Wincott
who has some fun for a while.
All in all, The Crow is a prime example of an actor who's bigger than the movie.
The Crucible (1996)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
2/14
2/14:
It's hard to find any fault in The Crucible which is as good as the play per se.
Getting Daniel Day-Lewis for the role of John Proctor is the chief reason why the film works. Also, it's refreshing not
to be bogged down by the language as the story moves briskly well from start to finish.
Having Paul Scofield, who's well known for his Oscar-winning performance in A Man for All Seasons, elevates
the whole thing along with the help of Winona Ryder and Joan Allen. It's the acting as well as the script
that make The Crucible a superb picture to watch.
The viewers need to keep in mind everything that happened in the Salem Witch Trials predates the passage of the U.S.
Constitution by a full century. Not only was witchcraft practiced in colonial America, but it also played a large part
in Europe for centuries. Nugatory and senseless, it highlights the necessity of a sound judicial system.
All in all, The Crucible is excellent.
Cruel, Cruel Love (1914)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
For a Chaplin picture, Cruel, Cruel Love is much better this time around because of the improved quality.
Yet it's still the same crap. Once again, Charlie Chaplin is an abominable asshole, giving me a hard time to put
up with his antics. It would be nice to see more words to get an idea of where the plot is going. Hence, there's no
wonder The Birth of a Nation is often credited as the first picture to tell a coherent story.
All in all, Cruel, Cruel Love is an improvement over the seven previous Chaplin film shorts.
Cruising (1980)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/07, 8/15
12/07:
Cruising is a disappointment.
Even worse is Al Pacino. What he did is absolutely nothing. Pretending to be a homosexual character, Al
Pacino never kisses a guy, only to let him cop a feel of his chest for one moment, or partakes of oral sex either way.
In short, he chickened out, plain and simple.
The best part is the gay leather/S&M bar scene which is convincing and represents a world unto itself. Sadly, this would
last for the first half of the picture before it's unceremoniously dropped, settling for an ambiguous resolution of the bland
murder mystery case with the biggest head-scratcher ending.
All in all, failing in what he's supposed to do for Cruising, Al Pacino lost some credibility.
8/15:
Because his girlfriend dons leather gay bar accessories, the incomprehensible ending suggests Steve Burns was the serial
killer the whole time.
Huh? One reviewer developed a theory that Burns, who was originally heterosexual, had been losing his mind and needed to
kill homosexuals. I don't buy it. The other theory is Steve was becoming gay because he started to like the
leather/S&M stuff. It's possible based on his hostile, if ambivalent, feelings toward his girlfriend.
Anyway, Cruising is infamous for the mistreatment of homosexuals and transsexuals and the perpetuation of stereotypes
about them. Today, the whole thing is pretty tame. Even Killer Joe is worse. The gay activists need to
remember it's just another world which doesn't have to be real or accurate.
What I love about the film is the leather/S&M subculture that exists within the gay bars. It's like being there, and William
Friedkin never lets me down with the visuals. Sadly, this occurs only during the first half. But the most disappointing
of all is Al Pacino's craven performance.
It's obvious Al Pacino took the safe route as indicated in one scene when he had a yellow bandana hanging out of his
left rear pocket and replied he preferred to watch. So, my question to him is this: "If you're not going to take risks,
why bother being in the film?" I know he's a great actor, but I'm disappointed in him. However, there's a
prevailing theory that Al Pacino did participate but the film was heavily edited to protect his reputation.
The other problem is the second half. Nothing much happens. It's almost like watching another movie that has nothing to
do with the first half. Then, the stupid ending comes. Can it be a matter of forced editing to appease the imminent
protestors and the studio's head honcho? Looking up information on the Internet, it turns out that at least thirty minutes of
footage was cut out.
All in all, Cruising remains a unique film with a lot of potential, but I wish William Friedkin continued on
with the first half to keep it consistent or maybe he should release the original uncut picture to clear up some of the
questions (but he insisted the deleted footage contained mostly gay pornography and was therefore destroyed by the
studio).
The Crush (1993)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/05, 12/07, 11/19
12/07:
The tagline for The Crush is: "He thought it was just a crush. He was dead wrong."
I'm thinking to myself, "Why is the film still called The Crush?" Anyway, it's not bad. The plot is highly
plausible. Of course, Nick Eliot, who's played well by Cary Elwes, didn't think long and hard about the ramifications of
his problem.
Anyone watching the film can learn from it and know better in terms of what to do with an underaged girl. It's
literally happening at an alarming rate in America and even more so in schools today. A strong candidate for the Worst Actress
Ever award, Alicia Silverstone turns in the best performance of her career. She's why I revisit the movie from time to time.
All in all, it's the story, along with strong acting, that makes The Crush a highly watchable thriller.
11/19:
If there's any film that gets top marks in the believability department, it's The Crush; in fact, the plot
happened to the screenwriter.
Forget Clueless. The Crush is the only film of Alicia Silverstone's career that she, who makes her stunning debut
at age 16, gives a fantastic performance. Cary Elwes is perfect as an everyday man with no assumptions about life. He's
credible and somewhat naïve. Jennifer Rubin doesn't get enough credit as his photographer friend.
The best part is the little innocent things that'll be troublesome down the road; it's a great snowball effect that
Nick Eliot didn't see coming, therefore making for a captivating story.
All in all, The Crush is an underrated erotic thriller.
Cry Freedom (1987)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/14
12/14:
Cry Freedom is one of these schmaltzy "oh, it's so important that you must watch" films when it's in fact an overlong,
substanceless bore just like Gandhi.
Suffering from the running time of two hours and thirty-seven minutes, I can't believe I survived the whole thing. At the
end, I fast-forwarded through the long list of foreign names of individuals who died under mysterious circumstances because
I didn't care anymore.
Denzel Washington is okay as Steve Biko, but his character dies about one hour into the film. Then, Kevin Kline, who's
out of his element, takes over as his character "dramatically" escapes from the jungles of South Africa. Only if it could be
believable with any iota of tension.
Although apartheid is obviously a big no-no, I doubt most of the folks who lived through it had ever thought about the
aftermath when South Africa was finally set free in 1994. Take the American Revolution. The colonists founded a democratic
country after fighting for independence. Yet South Africa is in complete chaos as it's the rape capital of the world with
one of the highest rates in murder, AIDS, poverty, inequality, corruption, and unemployment. Even the current president, who's
black, is a rapist and a polygamist, producing twentysomething children. It's a travesty to say the least.
All in all, lacking depth, Cry Freedom should be shorter with more substance, but the current state of
South Africa renders my suggestions moot anyway.
A Cry in the Dark (1988)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
12/15
12/15:
I knew most of Seinfeld quotes by heart, but I never realized Elaine's "Maybe the dingo ate your baby" was based
on a real-life Australian case, which is one of the strangest I've heard of, that was made into a movie called
A Cry in the Dark.
In fact, it would've been good fodder for Arthur Conan Doyle while coming up with a new Sherlock Holmes story. Well, yeah...this
is the film with the famous quote: "The dingo took my baby!"
Beyond that, it gets weirder, especially the media's invasion of the family's life and the strange twists and turns
during the court case which ultimately saw the mother as the killer of her own baby. Eventually, she got exonerated of
all charges after it had been conclusively proven the dingo did in fact take the baby, something I knew from the
start, and therefore attacked her to death.
Great performances are rendered by Meryl Streep and Sam Neill. Both surprised me by being less of themselves and more
of their characters. However, it's the story per se that's the winning feature of the film.
All in all, there's no question A Cry in the Dark is an all-time great classic that shows the truth can
sometimes be stranger than fiction.
Cry, the Beloved Country (1995)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
South Africa is a "beloved country"?
Okay, if they say so...it's currently the rape capital of the world and has been so for decades. In 1994, the initial year
of independence, there were about 19,000 reported rapes. Seven years later, it rose to 25,000. Out of that number, about
7% resulted in convictions. To this day, there's barely any improvement.
Back to the film, Cry, the Beloved Country is awful. I can see why I had never heard of it, thinking it may have
been made before (it was in 1951 with Sidney Poitier), and why it grossed less than $700,000 against a budget of $4 million.
Hence, don't be fooled by the adulations on the DVD cover: "★★★★ Powerful!", "One Of The Great Films
Of The Year!", "Electrifying!", and "A Triumph!" You can blame the excessive marketing on Miramax's rapist-producer Harvey
Weinstein (see Shakespeare in Love for further proof).
The main problem is the father's boy admitted to the murder and that's that. There's no drama involved. Instead, we have a
lot of weeping from James Earl Jones when he's faced with Richard Harris. What surprised me the most during the ordeal is
how strangers the black father and son are. It's like they never met each other before, and I'm supposed to care how?
The other is the story doesn't flow well. I blame the editor by making it too episodic. At least, the cinematography is
nice, and Richard Harris gives a strong performance which is almost reminiscent of what he did in
The Field. James Earl Jones is okay; had the story been all about his character, the film
would've died much worse. Therefore, everybody was lucky to have Richard Harris on board. By the way, "umfundisi" means
"pastor or minister" in Zulu while "umnumzana" is "sir."
All in all, if you want power in regard to South Africa, then I recommend
A Dry White Season over Cry, the Beloved Country.
The Crying Game (1992)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
2/06
2/06:
The Crying Game has a magnificent twist, but sadly, it alone isn't good enough to sustain my attention.
Famous for this film, Jaye Davidson is phenomenal. He'll never have anything like this again for the rest of his
life.
The first third is boring and cheesy. The next third is better although it reeks of bad acting.
Finally, the final third is back to boredom. Hence, it only has one good thing going: the twist. Take that away, and
there's nothing else.
All in all, it's all about Jaye Davidson in The Crying Game.
Cube (1997)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/16
5/16:
I guess this is what it's like being trapped inside Pinhead's cube.
Hence, think of Cube as Hellraiser inside out. I like the concept, especially the mathematical aspect,
and think it's ingenious. The film was shot inside a single 14 by 14 by 14 feet cube in twenty days with a hand-held
camera.
The characters are named after prisons around the world, which serves as a metaphor, and each of them brings a specific skill,
along with a fatal flaw, to the table to solve the puzzle. To get out of the cube, they overcome their shortcomings by
working together as a team. In a way, they succeed but fail at the end.
As interesting as the movie is, the acting leaves a lot to be desired. Quentin, the black guy, keeps giving a wide-eyed look
to make up for his lack of thespic abilities. The biggest disappointment is the ending. I hate it. There's no way
Quentin would've figured it out. For a much deserved comeuppance, he should be killed in the next room by picking
the wrong door due to his lack of math skills. On the other hand, I thought the guy with autism would be revealed as the inventor
of the cube which would've been cool and a fitting finish.
All in all, despite the negatives, Cube is an enjoyable, intelligent modern sci-fi thriller that's straight from
The Twilight Zone (actually, the idea orginated in the 1961 episode Five Characters in Search of an Exit).
Cujo (1983)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/08
4/08:
My goodness, it's just a freaking Saint Bernard!
Dee Wallace, a veteran of the horror genre, comes back for another stab. This time, it's called Cujo which is based
on a novel by Stephen King. With the exception of a few stories, they've hardly translated well into successful movies
because either the production values are bad or the storyline is stupid. For Cujo, it's been the latter.
When I saw the dog, I said to myself, "Okay, it's a Saint Bernard, so what?" Initially, I thought it's going to be a
Doberman Pinscher or a Rottweiler. But a Saint Bernard? Shit, man...everybody knows they're among the friendliest dogs.
Now, I don't know about you, but when it comes to identifying the true villain, it's been a toss-up between the Ford Pinto,
which is the worst car ever made in the history of automobiles, and Danny Pintauro. Saying that, the movie should be called
I'm Stuck in a Crappy Ford Pinto with Crybaby Danny Pintauro While I'm Being Terrorized by a Rabid Saint Bernard.
Honestly, I felt bad for Cujo but not the others.
The family should've spotted the bleeding on the dog's nose and took him to the vet. Based on how he looked, I wonder if there
was animal abuse going on during the making of the film. I wouldn't be surprised if Danny Pintauro confessed he became
homosexual after going through the horrifying, traumatizing experience when he saw the abused dog taking revenge on him.
All in all, check out Cujo only if you want to see what a Ford Pinto looks like, but don't see it if you hate Danny
Pintauro with intense passion.
Cul-De-Sac (1966)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/16
3/16:
It's hard to believe Roman Polanski went from Cul-De-Sac and Repulsion to Rosemary's Baby
and Chinatown, but he did it.
Like Repulsion, Cul-De-Sac, a nice-looking black-and-white picture, is pointless and a genuine waste
of time. Knowing what it's like to have chickens, I can't overlook the amount of shit they'll produce around the house.
If there's anything positive, it's how the characters are defined: Richard the tough-minded gangster, George the
weak-willed husband, and Teresa the free-spirited nympho. Françoise Dorléac, Catherine Deneuve's older sister, would die the
following year at 25 in a car accident.
All in all, I felt exactly like Donald Pleasence at the end when I finished Cul-De-Sac.
The Culpepper Cattle Co. (1972)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
5/22
5/22:
The Culpepper Cattle Co. was there first, not Unforgiven.
Dusty and realistic, it has a cast of hardened men who lead a cattle drive from Texas to Fort Lewis, Colorado. A kid is eager
to join them but soon finds out how unfit he's for the cowboy life. It's been a series of poor decisions, causing everybody
to resent him. Bad things happen, and there are consequences to pay for while law and order isn't a valid concept. The ending
is Peckinpah-esque. According to Wikipedia:
"The Culpepper Cattle Co. has been praised for its attention to detail and period atmosphere. A subtle example is seen
when Frank Culpepper leans against a water barrel and his arm above the wrist is exposed—it is white, untanned. People rarely
took off any clothing in public (there is a comic moment when the cook is embarrassed to be seen with his shirt off), and the
idea of an 'all-over' tan would have been absurd, if not incomprehensible. Only working folk had a tan. Cowboys were
'fish-belly white' over most of their bodies."
The performances are very good, coming from Billy Green Bush, Luke Askew, Bo Hopkins, and Geoffrey Lewis. They play
tough characters. While Anthony James doesn't appear until the final third, Gary Grimes serves as a representative for the
audience and does a fine job. At the beginning, he shows a gun to another boy; that's Charles Martin Smith
making his screen debut. It would be another year before he'll be famous for American Graffiti.
All in all, if you want to see a realistic cowboy picture, The Culpepper Cattle Co. should be your first choice.
The Cure (1917)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
The Cure has left my mind hopelessly blank.
All in all, skip this trash.
Curly Sue (1991)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
4/06
4/06:
Why did Curly Sue have to be made?
What an awful film. I hate everything about it, and not for one second did I laugh throughout. Unsurprisingly,
Curly Sue failed at the box office and was roundly panned by critics.
James Belushi and Kelly McGillis are okay. But it's Alisan Porter whom I hate the most. She would never appear in
another major film for the rest of her career. Thank goodness. The excessive amount of sugar she pours would've been fatal.
The story sucks and is implausible. No hotshot female lawyer would risk her life by taking care of two "derelicts." Even
if there was a car accident, the prudent thing to do would be checking out the damage, getting the man treated at the
hospital to prevent further brain injury, and reporting it to the police. Instead, she ends up being taken advantage by them
which forces her to give up everything she worked for.
All in all, I want to be like Jimi Hendrix so I can set Curly Sue on fire.
The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
9/05
9/05:
A sensational Hammer Horror picture, The Curse of Frankenstein has beautiful colors and adapts well to the
19th century style.
Before it was made, horror films were tame and primitive, but this one went a notch above the usual by showcasing many
features that weren't seen before, especially in color.
Peter Cushing is a surprise when I was anticipating him to be in the likes of Christopher Lee and Vincent Price,
but he resembles nothing like them. Robert Urquhart is a perfect imitation of Alec Guinness. The way he said "madness"
reminds me of The Bridge on the River Kwai.
All in all, The Curse of Frankenstein is probably the best Frankenstein movie made.
The Curse of the Cat People (1944)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
12/11
12/11:
If the title is The Curse of the Cat People, then I must ask this question: where are the cats?
The sequel has nothing to do with the original and is more of a remake than a continuation. Speaking of tragedy, how about
Oliver? Some Father of the Year he is. The ending is the final nail in the coffin when Oliver lied to his daughter
that he saw her imaginary friend.
Pretty much, the film is about neglect and parental abuse via spanking as they're condoned by the people involved. Amy's
parents should be reported to Family Services and the girl therefore placed in a better home because what I
have seen from her is perfectly normal.
I thought Amy would be killed at the end, but it never happened which is a disappointment because it would've made for a
justifiable ending. By the way, the old woman needs to shut the hell up, drink more liquor, and pass out for good.
All in all, The Curse of the Cat People has no lives to begin with.
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
Because I hate Woody Allen, it takes a great deal of motivation out of me to watch his movies.
So,
I mustered up all as I could before starting The Curse of the Jade Scorpion. To my no surprise, it's more of the same:
talk, talk, talk, and talk about nothing. I always fall asleep. So hard for me to stay awake.
It seems the film is an excuse for Woody Allen to get his filthy paws on Charlize Theron and Helen Hunt. He
probably fantasized about it for a long time while penning the screenplay. Speaking of disappointment, I wanted
Woody Allen's character be sentenced to death for his crimes. Oh, right...isn't he supposed to be in prison for statutory
rape and get beaten up by black men?
All in all, I wish Woody Allen never existed.
Cursed (2005)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/22
3/22:
The Master of Suck is back at it again.
This time, it's Cursed, a gigantic box-office failure, that almost signals the end of Wes Craven's directorial career. He
sure made lots of stinkers. Christina Ricci, Joshua Jackson, and Jesse Eisenberg had done better in others, but Wes
couldn't manage to get a decent performance out of them?
I didn't notice this before, but it's impossible to look past Christina Ricci's huge forehead which is prominently
featured in every scene. What the heck happened? I checked out several movies from the past, and it was never the case. The
title Cursed seems about right as if Christina Ricci has a white space helmet on. On the other hand, I'm surprised
she was cast, figuring her to be better than this mainstream shit.
The seven-time Oscar winner Rick Baker was asked to do the makeup effects for what's essentially another werewolf film. Hmm,
is the genre already old, especially in the 21st century? He did it before for An American Werewolf in London (first
Oscar win ever in this category) and Wolf. Speaking of the latter, the plot is somewhat similar only
the genders are reversed: Christina Ricci for Jack Nicholson, Jesse Eisenberg for Michelle Pfeiffer, and Judy
Greer for James Spader.
Back to Rick Baker, what I saw looks like his expertise wasn't needed after all. It's been mostly CGI. Maybe he
focused more on the wax figures like the Wolf Man in the mold of James Spader, Cher, and Whoopi, among the others. As a matter
of fact, he was fired by the Weinsteins who ironically proclaimed the film would "reinvent the werewolf
genre." Uh, right. Ultimately, Baker's stuff was thrown out of the window which were replaced with CGI.
Retiring in 2015, Rick Baker said: "First of all, the CG stuff definitely took away the animatronics part of what I do. It's
also starting to take away the makeup part. The time is right, I am 64 years old, and the business is crazy right now. I like
to do things right, and they wanted cheap and fast. That is not what I want to do, so I just decided it is basically time to
get out. I would consider designing and consulting on something, but I don't think I will have a huge working studio anymore."
Appropriately titled for going through many reshoots, rewrites, and recasts for five years while the budget ballooned from
$35 million to $100 million, Cursed sucks. It's too fast-paced, making it hard for me to focus on anything. Craig
Kilborn shows up, but who the hell is that? Is he supposed to be famous or what? The same can be said for Scott Baio who's a
total has-been.
There's a lot of fluff, thanks to the awful special effects. It's never enjoyable for a minute. At the same time, I
was thinking Joel Schumacher could do a lot better with this. Written by Kevin Williamson, the word "hip" is never felt
like it did in Scream nor is "horror" for that matter. The gay subplot is weird, but I can see Bo and Jimmy
producing a beautiful litter of puppies at the end.
All in all, it's time for the Master of Suck to stop making movies and just go away very quietly.
Cutter's Way (1981)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/14, 4/15
3/14:
Cutter's Way is a brilliantly made picture featuring a veteran cripple who seems unhinged as he takes
a swarthy, handsome-looking guy along on a wild goose chase.
One question needs to be settled: did Richard Bone (or rather, did I) buy his conspiracy theory? I had a hard time
deciding but ended up not believing Alex Cutter. Hence, I'll never know for sure given the suspenseful ending.
What's unbelievable is almost nobody received accolades for their wonderful performances. John Heard is masterful,
Jeff Bridges is at top of his game, Lisa Eichhorn is fantastic, Arthur Rosenberg is a natural, and Ann Dusenberry is
seductive.
There are many elements that make it a terrific neo-noir, and the downward spiral into a man's fantasy is
at once disquieting and real. Richard Bone going ahead with it is a surprise. Perhaps it might explain a lot why
the theory of dominant-submissive relationship makes sense, and charm does go a long way.
All in all, Cutter's Way is one of the best films in the neo-noir genre.
4/15:
I'm downgrading my rating of Cutter's Way from '10' to '8' for being slow in terms of getting to the bottom of the mystery.
John Heard gives a fantastic performance as the idealistic cripple who sees the world in black and white. The
ending leaves me hanging because there's still no concrete evidence to back up his claims.
Looking his best than ever, Jeff Bridges' character is complex yet practical but isn't totally convinced by his friend's
theory. No matter, he's willing to play along with quiet fascination. His gamble proves to be too much as the people
closest to him die. On the other hand, Lisa Eichhorn is melodramatic and theatrical as Mo.
All in all, brilliant in execution, Cutter's Way is a fascinating study of two characters with contrasting
psychological makeups deciding to work together for better or worse.
Cutting Class (1989)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
9/12
9/12:
It's usual for a soon-to-be megastar to have an early start by appearing in a low-budget horror film, and
Cutting Class is such that for Brad Pitt.
Truth be told, the movie isn't bad. It's actually quirky and campy. The chemistry Brad Pitt has with Jill Schoelen is
top-notch. Donovan Leitch sometimes gets in the way but serves his purpose. However, Brad Pitt can be too cocky, ruining his
likeability, but it depends on the viewer's judgment.
Poor Jill Schoelen has to live with the fact that after dating Brad Pitt and dumping him in the harshest way possible,
her career had gone completely south while he went on to be one of the most recognizable actors on the planet. What happened
is he, who was penniless at that time, was asked by Jill to purchase a flight ticket for her to Budapest only to find
out she fell for another man.
Now, only if Roddy McDowell of Class of 1984 can come over along with his gun, he might have been
well-prepared for this mini-Scream thriller. I won't say Cutting Class is all horror as it's more of
a comedy. There are some scenes, most especially with the janitor, that are too funny to watch. The whole thing with
Martin "Help! Help! I'm Stuck in the Wood for a Week with an Arrow in Me!" Mull has to be seen to believe.
There's a guessing game going on as to who the killer might be. Once I locked on him, I sadly second-guessed myself many times,
but my first choice turned out to be correct. In reality, when a person is killed or goes missing, cops are
alerted. But not in this, that notion is often shrugged off.
All in all, Cutting Class is a misleading title because it's supposed to be about kids playing hooky but never did.
The Cutting Edge (1992)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/08, 2/22
3/08:
I was initially told that The Cutting Edge would suck in a major way and that I ought to see it for the sake of
mocking it.
Well, I had a pretty good time and was darned entertained by the quirky love story between the two opposites. The first half
is marked with a sharp sense of humor, witty lines, and terrific chemistry. Then, there's a slowdown during the second half,
but it manages to have a solid finish.
The true winners are D.B. Sweeney, Moira Kelly, and Roy Dotrice. All have turned in excellent performances. Although
The Cutting Edge involves figure skating, I like how it's treated as a secondary plot device.
The camera work is interesting as it's clear the leads aren't skating all the time. Subplots are nicely developed, and not
much time is spent on most of them just to keep things moving. That's how the director is able to have plenty of space to
squeeze in more scenes yet stays faithful to the concept that it takes a lot of work to prepare for the big contest.
The way the chemistry is built up between the two opposites pays off dividends at the end when they realize they're in love
with each other before turning in the best skating performance of their lives. The main treat is watching them fight all
the time hitherto. Of course, I don't get to see the actual show in its entirety, but that's okay. Like I said, figure
skating only plays a secondary part.
All in all, The Cutting Edge is an all-time great romance classic.
2/22:
The Cutting Edge works well in two ways: a romance picture that happens to involve figure skating.
The chemistry between D.B. Sweeney and Moira Kelly is top-notch. Although the former isn't bad, it's the latter
who makes the movie work with her oft-repeated facial expressions. Of course, it's not them who did all the
skating, hence the skillful editing. In many ways, the movie reminds me of Flashdance but better.
The best part is the back-and-forth bitching. Great lines are thrown in during their repartee. It's what makes
the film go. Of course, the so-called Pamchenko move is impossible. Using the female skater as a hammer
throw? Why...she's going to be tossed out of the rink from the sheer velocity of the spin.
All in all, forget the rest of the sequels; The Cutting Edge begins and ends with D.B. Sweeney and Moira Kelly.