F List of Movie Reviews
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...First Do No Harm (1997)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/21
2/21:
...First Do No Harm is a made-for-TV disorder movie of the month, and this time, it's about epilepsy.
In some ways, I'm reminded of Lorenzo's Oil. The drama is compelling to follow as it happened to director Jim Abrahams
and his son Charlie (that's him in the film who was taken away by his mother; in reality, he went from having 90 epileptic
seizures per day to none after going on the diet). So is the acting, especially by Meryl Streep (who did the movie for free)
and Seth Adkins.
Of course, it's completely frustrating for the parents, who know nothing about medicine, to put their total trust in doctors
and hope for the best outcome yet sometimes feel like they haven't really solved the problem. I'm particularly impressed with
the demeanor shown by Meryl Streep and Fred Ward, but Abrahams makes the mistake of going too fast for a while, giving me a
hard time to keep up with the dialogue.
During the film, I don't think I've learned much about the disorder itself, but the Ketogenic Diet is new to me. Children with
epilepsy are first tried out with drugs which often work, and if they don't respond to them, then either surgery, a medical
device like vagus nerve stimulation, or the aforementioned diet is the next prescribed course of action.
The Ketogenic Diet requires 3 to 4 grams of fat for every 1 gram of carbohydrate and protein. In other words, 90% of calories
must come from fat when it's normally 25% to 40%. Make no mistake about it: the guideline of following the diet is extremely
strict, down to the gram with ratios and calorie counts. At the same time, they take anti-seizure medication. If the child
cheats on the diet, the penalty is a seizure.
The result is over 50% of the children have their seizures cut down by more than half. Between 10% and 15% are free
from seizures for life. The longer these children are on the diet, the more favorable the outcome becomes. The older they are,
the more likely they are placed on a slightly modified diet. Children on the Ketogenic Diet are often heavily monitored due to
deficiency in minerals and vitamins. Some of the usual side effects include kidney stones, high cholesterol, constipation,
slowed growth, and bone fractures, hence the need for labs and bloodwork tests every three months and bone density scans
once a year.
All in all, ...First Do No Harm is a well-meaning informational film about children with epilepsy, but it's only one
treatment method that may or may not work.
F.I.S.T. (1978)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/06
2/06:
Coming from Sylvester Stallone, F.I.S.T. is a pleasant surprise, and the absorbing story is similar to Jimmy Hoffa's
reign as Teamsters union boss.
Although a bit underdeveloped in certain areas, I've enjoyed it thoroughly for the sake of labor union practices.
The film makes for a decent exploration of a man who starts out as an easy-going fella and ends up being the opposite of himself.
Many concepts from The Godfather, The Godfather Part II, The Deer Hunter, and
Once Upon a Time in America are blended together for F.I.S.T. I like how the ambience is constructed to match
the olden times. The cast delivers good all-around acting performances. Sylvester Stallone does a fine job, coming off a
two-year layoff from Rocky.
All in all, F.I.S.T. comes the closest to the story of Jimmy Hoffa.
Face on the Barroom Floor (1914)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
10/06
10/06:
Run for your lives because...here comes Charlie Chaplin!
Watching Face on the Barroom Floor gives me a powerful incentive to buy a handgun and use it on him. It's absolutely
one of the worst and most depressing films I've ever seen. There's no story, and there's no motivation to go on living.
All in all, Face on the Barroom Floor represents the worst of silent films.
Faces of Death (1978)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/15
5/15:
For many years, Faces of Death had an underground reputation for being the mondo picture to see.
Being aware of it since the middle 80's, I had not seen the film until now. The experience is similar with Pink Flamingos
when I begin to say, "Okay, I am ready," and then cross the threshold. Well, Faces of Death promises everything and
never fails to deliver. I realize now the first half hour serves as a weed-out phase. Once I make past it, the scenes
become easier to stomach and are more scientifically educational.
What I like is, due to the wonderful narration by Dr. Francis B. Gröss (Michael Carr), the
perspective it brings because death is a fascinating topic for many people. It's cool when he alludes to the phrase "the many
faces of death." Nobody knows what happens in the afterlife, and it has generated a lot of discussion for millenniums.
Even some civilizations, especially the Egyptians, have made it a focal point of people's lives.
As much as I realize many scenes were faked, there are still some that are real and therefore interesting. I think
it's because the people have been shielded so much from such visions they never know what really goes on behind the curtain.
That's why they only see the final product. A lot of people have bashed the film for being fake or funny, but the criticism
is unwarranted. Faces of Death is, like what The Endless Summer did for surfing, a beautiful poetry about death
and decay. For some reason, it's fascinating in a morbid way.
All in all, Faces of Death is an unforgettable shockumentary.
Factotum (2005)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
In case if you are wondering, there's no way to prevent yourself from sneezing while driving.
You just have to let it happen and do your best. The sneeze attack only lasts for a second or two. Anyway, Factotum is
a slice-of-life film that attempts to tell a story. Sometimes, it's meaningful, but more than often, it's not.
The performances are average. Matt Dillon is fair. Anyone could have done his role, and it still wouldn't make a difference.
As a matter of fact, Mickey Rourke did the same thing in a 1987 Charles Bukowski picture called Barfly with Faye Dunaway
which was a lot more masterful.
Factotum has nothing to say although the first half works and is hysterical at times, but the second half goes nowhere.
So, that's why Drinking, Smoking, and Getting Fired makes for a better title because it's what the movie is all about.
All in all, Factotum is pointless.
Fahrenheit 451 (1966)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/14
5/14:
Fahrenheit 451, which is based on one of the most overrated books ever written, seems to have nothing to say,
fueling more to the fire until it reaches the desired temperature.
Oskar Werner, whom I liked in The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, sleepwalks throughout although it
might be a true portrayal of Guy Montag or a spiteful act that's intended toward the director. Either way, it's annoying
and frustrating. On the other hand, Julie Christie...I don't know how her career survived so long because she clearly
cannot act, and Fahrenheit 451 is proof positive of this.
Prior to watching the film, I did not bother to go on the Internet for any background information. I spent a lot of time
trying to figure this out before concluding the two characters had to be played by the same actress. So it's true. Then, what's
the frigging point? By the way, Clarisse was killed off at the very early stage of the book, causing the momentum to die.
Now, as I understand, Fahrenheit 451 is about burning books to suppress the freedom of intellectual expression. Well, if
people have a problem with it, why not just move out and live in another country where books are allowed? I'm not sure
what the old lady is trying to prove by setting fire on herself. I mean, it's not like the act of defiance will produce
ramifications that will be remembered for years to come. A monk did it to protest the Vietnamese government's oppression
of Buddhists, but today, nobody remembers that.
Finally, the idea of book people whose life's goal is to memorize a book, what's the point? Just memorize the book, and
that's it? How do people decide which books to memorize? Why not produce audiobooks instead? It wouldn't
be considered as illegal because none of the words said aloud is in print.
All in all, no more Fahrenheit 451 and certainly no more Julie Christie for me.
Failure to Launch (2006)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/07
7/07:
Although Failure to Launch has enough energy to be a watchable romantic comedy film, the title pretty much says it all.
The movie was off to a fast start but got stuck in a quicksand. I kept saying, "Slow down, and take your time." Once it did,
Failure to Launch would be funny and witty during the middle stretch. Finally, the momentum dissipated as the ending
became weak and therefore impossible for me to buy as it rehashed the same stuff from EdTV.
The acting is good except for Sarah Jessica Parker who seems miscast. She doesn't show enough chemistry with
Matthew McConaughey who, once again, is the winner (but it's getting old already). I've got to question the inclusion of
Terry Bradshaw. Why did he have to be butt naked? What a stupid mistake. So is the idea of going too far with animal bites.
One time is okay, but a bird, a chipmunk, a dolphin, and a lizard? Come on.
All in all, in spite of having been doomed by a predictable plot, Failure to Launch is an entertaining movie in spots.
A Fair Exchange (1914)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
6/07
6/07:
Oh, how nice.
A Fair Exchange says it's okay to commit infidelity, that is, to cheat on your significant other. In the midst
of this, I have to laugh and laugh because it's all perfectly normal.
All the more reason why Charlie Chaplin films are among the worst of the worst. Depravity and sadism rule
his world. The sight of Charlie Chaplin flashing his shit-grinning smile is frighteningly sick. It's like Satan coming
alive. No wonder why he preferred his nubile girls to be young as thirteen.
All in all, A Fair Exchange gets an automatic nod for being included in my Worst Films List.
Fair Game (1995)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
I guess the producers' thinking behind the need for Cindy Crawford is her tits, hence the selling point of Fair Game.
What a brilliant stroke of masterpiece. Anyway, it's a terrible movie despite having some good action sequences, but the last
twenty minutes kills it big time. The only saving grace is William Baldwin, but he alone isn't enough to save the picture from
being such a bomb. Speaking of that, when Cindy Crawford's character got blown out of her house into the water, it's remarkable
to see how pretty her face still is.
The plot makes zero sense. Two questions occurred to me during the last ten minutes. Why didn't the bad guys get away in boat
from the state of Florida after accomplishing their mission? When the bad guys apprehended Kate McQuean, why didn't they kill
her right away if that's the purpose?
I can see the KGB has the technological advantage over Americans by being so wicked smart with computers. So, why
don't the agents make the changes to the information about boats? That way, they can render McQuean useless. Meanwhile, it's
a surprise to see how well Baldwin's character, a city flatfoot, had managed to elude the bad guys who were highly trained
in covert operations.
All in all, Fair Game is like drinking milk: it takes time before you realize it had already gone sour.
The Fall of the House of Usher (1960)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
8/03, 8/06
8/06:
The Fall of the House of Usher, a short story penned by Edgar Allan Poe, resembles the same kind of pictures
that Hammer Horror had produced during the heyday.
Of all films produced by Roger Corman, this is the most expensive at $200,000, so it's not a bad job. Vincent Price is pretty
good as Roderick Usher and has nice lines to work with. Highly camp for a horror picture, it works well with low expectations
although the ending comes off as cheap.
All in all, The Fall of the House of Usher is a decent horror picture with nice cinematography to boot.
The Fall of the Roman Empire (1964)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/16
3/16:
The Fall of the Roman Empire had a budget of $19 million but grossed approximately five million dollars, bankrupting
producer Samuel Bronston's company.
Therefore, the film should be renamed as The Fall of the Bronston's Empire. Some of the scenes are apparently
ripped off from Ben-Hur, Lawrence of Arabia, and El Cid. Too much familiarity is also produced by bringing
cast members together from these epic masterpieces: Stephen Boyd of the first one; Alex Guinness, Anthony Quayle, and Omar
Sharif (who hardly has any screen time delivering only four lines) of the second; and Sophia Loren of the third. Why not
go for broke by also getting Charlton Heston and Peter O'Toole? Now, that will be the epic of rip-offs.
Throughout the lavishly made film, I had a hard time staying awake. Despite the amazingly good-looking in/exterior sets and
the sheer number of extras, the script makes no sense and is mind-numbingly boring. It's like everybody showed up on the set
with no preparation for their characters and was given a bunch of lines to recite before calling it quits for the day.
Neither Stephen Boyd nor Christopher Plummer fits the bill as a leading man; that's why I didn't realize until the last hour
they were the principal stars. The trouble with Sophia Loren is her nonexistent acting ability. A better fit for Italian soap
operas, she has to resort to many phony acting tricks to convey her feelings. It's clear at that point Sophia had no
theatrical training of any kind. Here are some notable trivia from IMDb:
"Stephen Boyd blamed the massive commercial failure of The Fall of the Roman Empire for ruining his movie career."
"Alec Guinness admitted that he never saw more than twenty minutes of the completed film."
"Sophia Loren was the highest paid cast member at $1 million."
"It was envisioned that [Charlton] Heston would be cast as Livius, but he turned it down after finding out that Loren would
be the leading lady."
All in all, The Fall of the Roman Empire represents what could go wrong in a Roman epic picture.
Fall Time (1995)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/16
5/16:
Fall Time is a wretched homoerotic, Reservoir Dogs wannabe mess that serves a good example of actors earning
their paycheck.
Mickey Rourke is better than this crap. I can't believe he said the lines with a straight face. His character has a stupid
moment at the end when he challenged the kid to shoot him. And he does, killing him in the process.
Here's another that'll never happen in real life: a sexually luxurious female raping a male doofus. Really, explain to me the
logic of it. In the meantime, why doesn't Stephen Baldwin's character immediately kill the two captives and move on? I'm not
sure why he has to pour so much emotion by breaking down and crying as if he's going to deliver an Oscar-winning performance.
All in all, Fall Time fails miserably for trying to be a cool 50's gay picture.
Fallen (1998)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/24
1/24:
Fallen is a well-made supernatural thriller that features a strong performance by Denzel Washington.
When Elias Koteas' character was being gassed in the chamber, I was immediately reminded of
The First Power, giving me a
good idea of what the story might be about, but it's a better movie, even when compared to
Shocker. Over time, the
locations kept confusing me as the setting seemed to take place in Philadelphia, but I know it doesn't.
Instead of Lou Diamond Phillips, it's Denzel Washington who tries to figure out what's going on, and he gets better,
acting-wise. Logic is held consistent throughout. However, a couple of scenes can be safely removed. One is when Hobbes had a
conversation with Jonesy at the precinct while he's bagging his own gun for evidence. It's pointless. Two is asking the nun what the
word "apocalypse" meant. Come on, do the filmmakers want to tell me that after doing his research Hobbes still doesn't know?
By the way, spiders are animals. Hence, Hobbes' plan would've failed at the end despite the cat coming out of the
house. Birds and squirrels can be also found in the woods. Hence, Azazel shouldn't have any issues going from one host to another
through them. That being said, Fallen is a frustrating movie, and in order to beat the evil spirit, it's probably going
to have to be done in Antarctica just like how it happened in The Thing.
All in all, Fallen is worth watching for Denzel Washington who gives a top ten performance of his career.
Falling Down (1993)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/04, 2/24
2/24:
For Falling Down, Michael Douglas tries to do what Robert De Niro and Peter Boyle did in
Taxi Driver and Joe, respectively, but fail.
Part of the film's downfall is putting too much emphasis on Robert Duvall's character and his dysfunctional relationship with
his wife. I don't see how they're relevant to the problems William Foster is having. Imagine redoing the Scorsese classic, but
this time, half the attention goes to some burned-out cop with wife issues. The next problem is featuring
Rachel Ticotin a lot. It's not necessary, either.
The longer the show goes on, the less interesting William Foster becomes. He's just an angry white guy who's easily ticked off by
the little issues. Time has passed him by as he's obviously a relic from the 60's. Remember the scene when the detective
said the grocer was a Korean and he's a Japanese? Ha! He's actually South Korean while the other guy is Chinese. Gee
whiz...I wasn't that confused, but it's a nice try anyway.
All in all, whatever the message it's supposed to send, Falling Down fails to drive the point home.
Fame (1980)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/17
2/17:
I was all over the map about how I felt about Fame, thinking of a rating between '6' and '8' before settling on '7'.
It's actually a good movie, starting off well in the first half hour before going in circles the rest of the way
with no growth or change among the characters. The editing is well-done, and freshness abounds. Therefore, it's hard
to be bored.
There are many subplots, but nearly all are never properly developed. However, they don't make Fame
frustrating. It's not a musical but a drama film. Yet it doesn't feel like drama, either. Hence, the best way to
describe the whole thing is it's a panorama of adolescence in poverty.
As a secondary mathematics teacher, I used to work in a vocational-technical school, and many of my students were from the
performing arts program. They were minorities who lived in poverty. Regardless, the students thought they were talented and
knew everything, but nothing could be further from the truth. They couldn't sing, dance, or act. They knew nothing about
anything. The whole thing was a joke. After "graduating" from high school despite not being able to read, write, or
perform arithmetic at grade level or doing no real work in academics for four years, they went back to poverty
because they had nothing to offer to prospective employers.
The whole performing arts program is the biggest pile of bullshit ever conceived. Whatever the skills students gained from
it rarely translate in real life. Because all the students wanted to do was talk, they didn't work much
on their reading, writing, and arithmetic skills. My theory of this is the administrators knew these teenagers
were in a hopeless situation due to their low IQ, so the program was created just to keep the trouble down by providing them
false hopes until they graduate.
Back to Fame, the acting is top-notch given the material, and the characters are supposed to be untalented. They
think they're special, but really, they are not. The problems that've emerged toward the end are realistic and typical.
That's why there's a saying, "A leopard doesn't change its spots." By the way, I hate The Rocky Horror Show and think
it's one of the worst movies made. But kudos to Alan Parker for bringing a perspective to it by illustrating how a bad movie
can be made better by taking advantage of the audience's participation.
All in all, Fame should be called Fake because it's about the high school performing arts students who thought
they could sing, dance, or act but were quite frankly untalented.
Family Plot (1976)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/06, 2/17
4/06:
The final film of Alfred Hitchcock's long, illustrious career, Family Plot is below his standards.
As a matter of fact, it's mediocre with little of Hitchcockian trademarks. Nevertheless, the plot is engaging
and camp at times, but the direction it's heading into isn't particularly effective.
Frenzy was rated 'R' which worked in Hitchcock's favor as he exploited the dark side for the first time ever. But
Family Plot, he went for the 'PG' rating which made it increasingly hard for him to discover ingenious ways to grip me
like he did with Psycho, Dial M for Murder, and Rear Window. If there's one thing I'm surprised by,
it's the high amount of profane words which is so unlike Hitchcock.
All in all, Family Plot is disappointing, but what a great career it had been for Alfred Hitchcock, the Master of
Suspense.
2/17:
I disagree with the critics that Frenzy is the last good Hitchcock picture, and I have to say Family Plot is
much better.
This one is not formulaic like many others and has some unique elements. It's also catchy and fun and has characters
who are easy to care about. During the interview, the producer was correct that I would see more things in the film
I hadn't previously seen.
There are great performances from the ensemble cast including Bruce Dern, Barbara Harris, William Devane, Karen Black,
and Ed Lauter. It's really Bruce Dern, whose role was originally intended for Al Pacino who turned out to be too expensive
(I actually can't see him in a Hitchcock movie anyway), who makes Family Plot a fun murder mystery picture.
His presence is greatly helpful.
Barbara Harris is cute and a perfect Hitchcock actress. I bet Alfred would have loved to have used her more often had he
lived longer. The same sentiment rings true for Ed Lauter. William Devane is a smooth talker. He has a great spontaneous moment
when his character, Arthur Adamson, was engaged with two detectives and he just picked off a lint from one of
the detectives' jacket. Hitchcock didn't like that, but this move shows he's firmly in control of the situation.
Karen Black is okay and presents a look that's certainly iconic (Brian De Palma would exploit it for Dressed to Kill
with Michael Caine) for a Hitchcock picture but doesn't try to ruin the film. I thought the whole time it was Marthe Keller
because of her connection with Bruce Dern in Black Sunday. But Karen Black's crossed eyes told me otherwise. Both Black
and Dern did The Great Gatsby.
I thought so, but I wasn't sure. The woman who plays Joe Maloney's wife is Katherine Helmond. She was outstanding as
Mona Robinson in Who's the Boss? Alfred Hitchcock's cameo, the last one of his career, appears as a silhouette behind
the white-windowed door. It's perfect and cool.
Locations are a big thing in Hitchcock films. Family Plot takes place in San Francisco and also around Northern
California. It's interesting how he tried to hide them to make sure it's not a San Francisco or a California picture. The
cemetary scene is very Hitchcockian. I bet Alfred wanted to use it more often or maybe he was really thinking about it on a
deeper level.
There are several moments I don't like. One is the way Barbara Harris was all over Bruce Dern when they were going downhill
after his character suddenly realized the car had been screwed with. It's too silly and not realistic. Two is how quickly the
garage door had closed on the clairvoyant during one suspenseful moment. If I remember earlier, it
took a while for the door to be properly closed. Three is the ending which showed the phony clairvoyant being guided to the
diamond. It's stupid, but Barbara Harris has a nice finish with her wink.
All in all, Family Plot, not Frenzy, is the last great picture of Alfred Hitchcock's storied career.
The Fan (1981)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
10/20
10/20:
Slightly marred by run-of-the-mill direction, The Fan offers an insight of what it's like to be a celebrity that's
being stalked by a wacko.
Although the cast is terrific, it's Lauren Bacall who gives possibly the best performance of her career since
To Have and Have Not. She's truly a star in every sense of the word. It's nice to see her and James Garner in many
scenes together; for a bit while, they brought back the good part of classic Hollywood.
The very young-looking Michael Biehn has a breakthrough role as the Fan. Within five years, he would achieve stardom by
playing heroes in The Terminator and Aliens. I never thought Biehn would play a baddie at this time. Ultimately,
many critics were disappointed with his character for having no depth, but some killers can be just
that. At least, his letters are interesting to listen to.
Sometimes, the direction looks average, but it's not bad for a slasher picture. Star power is the biggest reason for its
success. Additionally, there's relevance derived from the story as celebrity stalking and violence was rampant for many
like Jodie Foster, John Lennon, Ronald Reagan, and Sharon Tate during the two decades prior.
All in all, The Fan wasn't well-received after initial release, but it's honestly a good, if straightforward, slasher
movie with a magnificent performance by Lauren Bacall.
The Fan (1996)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/04, 9/23
9/23:
The Fan presents a very familiar territory for Robert De Niro, having played the same type of character before in
Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy.
Once again, he's good in a bizarre way. The finale is a clincher of who his character is in a nutshell as described by his
erstwhile catcher from the Little League days: a wacko. It's funny the name Barry Bonds is mentioned because Wesley Snipes
looks exactly like him.
The editing is reminiscent of many films by Tony Scott which would be applied in the future for Enemy of the State. This
time, the close-ups are a bit too extreme, making it hard for me to get into The Fan. To make matters worse are the
terrible, slimy performances by Ellen Barkin and John Leguizamo.
All in all, the topic is nothing new, but if you're a Robert De Niro fan (who isn't anyway?), The Fan won't disappoint.
Fandango (1985)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/18
6/18:
Fandango is the film Kevin Costner makes his motion picture debut in a leading role which is my primary reason
for picking it up in the first place.
Another trigger for my motivation is after reading Don Graham's book about the making of Giant. He recounted the
characters of Fandango taking a pit stop in Marfa, Texas, where George Stevens' picture was filmed at. Not knowing the
facts beforehand, the Groovers were informed by a local gas station attendant (which is, by the way, Pepe Serna). Needless to
say, the sight of the Victorian mansion has left me surprised, and the skeletal edifice still stands to this day.
From the get-go, it's obvious Kevin Costner was going to be a bona fide movie star. He's pretty good
here, and the film is a lot of fun to watch which has a keen script. Marvin McIntyre, who plays Truman Sparks,
made sure of it by recreating parts from Zabriskie Point with Easy Rider music.
However, the last twenty minutes stinks but is somewhat salvaged by Kevin Costner's quiet sensitivity. I don't see the point
of having a fifth guy if he's going to act like "Bernie" the entire time. Judd Nelson's character sucks, too, poisoning the
atmosphere by complaining incessantly. Only if he would shut the hell up, the movie might be better.
Having no experience in acting, Chuck Bush, who plays the avid reader Dorman, entered a 7-11 store in Austin, Texas, and came
out of it with a deal to appear in Fandango. I guess the Lana Turner approach of being discovered by Hollywood is still
alive and well. Also, life imitates art as Sam Robards and Suzy Amis, who looks like a cross between Jodie Foster and Sissy
Spacek, would be married in real life, having done so in the film.
All in all, shot at many locations in Texas, Fandango is a well-made, easygoing coming-of-age picture.
Far and Away (1992)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/14
10/14:
What saves Far and Away from being a sappy clunker it would have been is the outstanding cinematography by Mikael Salomon.
It's what carries the film through despite the incredibly long running time. Surprisingly free of profanity, minus a couple
of ridiculous scenes, Far and Away is a suitable viewing in school for history classes. The ending, depicting the
Oklahoma Land Rush of 1893 which was the largest ever, is fascinating. It's something I never knew about, and I had
to look it up. Tom Cruise is another reason why it's watchable as all of his films usually are.
Now, let's go to the negatives. I don't like Nicole Kidman. She's full of herself and not worth caring about. That's the case
in Far and Away, and she makes it unbearable to watch at times. The scene when she gasped at the sight of her co-star's
penis is pathetic. Maybe she should do porn films instead?
Meanwhile, Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise look modern for the late 19th century. Thus, it's hard to believe them because
they're too clean and good-looking. Their relationship is poorly developed given the supposed passage of time. On the other
hand, Tom Cruise's face sure heals quickly for a boxer with no disfigurement anywhere.
Although the chemistry is there, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman seem to have met each other for the first time in every scene.
However, are they really in love? Of course not. It's more like lust. Also, the coincidences and how the characters kept
meeting each other so conveniently over time in faraway places are hard to believe. The running length did test
me many times; having a false ending was a bad idea. Hence, it needs to be at least half an hour shorter.
All in all, it's safe to label Far and Away a sweeping epic, albeit without depth, making a good substitute
for Dr. Zhivago.
Far from the Madding Crowd (1967)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
9/21
9/21:
Here they go again: a bloated lavish British production starring Julie Christie.
Form the get-go, I knew how long Far from the Madding Crowd would be which is almost three hours, making it tough for me
to be motivated. Halfway through, the length didn't seem to be a problem, but the story wasn't getting anywhere. After it's
all over, I came away feeling empty as if nothing happened. Of course, the answer was obvious the whole time which
occurred in the first fifteen minutes: Gabriel was the guy to marry.
Yes, Nicolas Roeg's photography of England's south countryside is beautiful, but it's not enough to overcome the flaws.
For three hours, Bathsheba looks positively stupid despite her so-called stern administration and instead loses control over
who to have for a husband. Bafflingly, she chose the professional soldier after spending time with him for a day or two.
By far the most ridiculous scene is Frank Troy showing off his swordsmanship to impress Bathsheba. Like a
nine-year-old schoolgirl, she seems taken by this display. During the filming, Terence Stamp had a
tough time with it but was prodded heavily by director John Schlesigner to get on with it and stop
acting gay.
I admit Alan Bates gives the strongest performance, but after a while, he ceases to be significant only to serve
predictably as a plot device to make the ending to work. Peter Finch's character is the least developed while Terence Stamp
is fairly okay but plays a total loser in every sense. The most overrated actress of the 60's, Julie Christie still
fails to evince depth when thinking looks will do. Like the secondary cast, the male suitors have a strong start and
then go away for a while before showing up again under some weak pretext which is to fill in the time.
Sometimes, there are situations not explained well. One instance is the sheep lying down on the grass. What happened is
they suffered from "pasture bloat" which is excessive gas as a result of eating too much immature legumes. To save them,
Gabriel has to puncture their bellies to let the gas out. Boldwood mentions "corn" although none can be obviously found
anywhere in the film. Because of the cultural difference, it's a British word for grain of any cereal crop such as wheat,
barley, oats, rye, etc. The Valentine's Day card looks modern when the setting is supposed to take place during the latter
half of the 19th century.
Meanwhile, why isn't Troy in the service after being married? Earlier, he decided not to take vows with Fanny
just because she showed up at the wrong church. Yet it's her, not Bathsheba, whom Troy really loved the whole time. Well,
consider me unconvinced. What the heck was Fanny doing during her disappearance?
All in all, like how the border collie did with the sheep, Far from the Madding Crowd should have been pushed off
the cliff.
Farewell, My Lovely (1975)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/17, 12/18, 9/20
6/17:
Farewell, My Lovely is vintage Marlowe.
Everything about it is what I hoped for in a Raymond Chandler picture and is exactly how I imagined the book to be. At his
hard-boiled best, Robert Mitchum is simply perfect. People have commented that he was too old for the role. I say, "Absolutely not."
In order for the film to be a winner, it must start with a great script. Farewell, My Lovely accomplishes this in a big
way. The screenplay is smart and expertly written, and it's funny, sad, and haunting all rolled into one. There are many
great lines, which are often through voice-over, such as:
"I sparred with the night clerk for a couple of minutes, but it was like trying to open a sardine can after you broke off
the metal lip. There was something about Abraham Lincoln's picture that loosened him up."
"She had all 'A's', none of them on a report card."
"This car sticks out like spats at an Iowa picnic."
"She gave me a smile I could feel in my hip pocket."
"$50, $10 extra if you bleed in my boat."
"Now wait a minute. I've been slapped, scratched, punched, knocked unconscious, drugged, and shot at, looking for your Velma,
so quit trying to make a milkshake out of my insides, will you?"
-"How about Baxter Wilson Grayle?"
-"How many people is that?"
-"One."
What a great supporting cast: Jack O'Halloran, John Ireland, Charlotte Rampling, Sylvia Miles, Anthony Zerbe, Kate Murtagh,
Harry Dean Stanton, Joe Spinell, and John O'Leary. They're all fantastic. Playing the has-been drunk, Sylvia Miles was the
only one to be rewarded with an Oscar nomination; however, did she really deserve it? Just like Arnold Schwarzenegger in
The Long Goodbye, Sylvester Stallone has a very, very minor role and is, at best,
inconsequential. But it's a wonder how he went from being a total unknown to a mega superstar.
All in all, nobody played Philip Marlowe better than Robert Mitchum in Farewell, My Lovely.
12/18:
Robert Mitchum is absolutely gold in Farewell, My Lovely.
Nobody played Philip Marlowe better than him. This is the zenith of his acting career. I can listen to the lines all day.
It's just terrific writing: "This car sticks out like spats at an Iowa picnic." "She had all 'A's', none of them on a report
card." "There was something about Abraham Lincoln's picture that loosened him up." "She gave me a smile I could feel in my
hip pocket." "I'll bet you five dollars you can't find a state they're not wanted in."
All in all, Robert Mitchum is Philip Marlowe of all time, and Farewell, My Lovely is a top ten neo-noir masterpiece.
9/20:
Farewell, My Lovely is still a great, spooky neo-noir with Robert Mitchum in top form.
The lines are fantastic, and following the mystery is much easier compared to
The Big Sleep. Joe DiMaggio's hit streak
timestamps the period at 1941. The guy who plays Judge Grayle is Jim Thompson, the author of The Getaway and
The Grifters. I have to say the acting is a bit on the weak side; otherwise, it's a '10'. Charlotte Rampling
is obviously channeling Lauren Bacall, and her character's implication in the plot did come out of nowhere for me.
All in all, Robert Mitchum proves he's the best Philip Marlowe ever in Farewell, My Lovely.
Fargo (1996)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
8/05
8/05:
The first time I saw Fargo in 1996, I thought it was great.
But seeing the movie again today, it has lost mightily against the test of time. Armed with an average story, the whole thing
is plain and annoying.
I hate the characters except for Steve Buscemi's. William H. Macy is so fucking annoying that he always uses the same
personality in every damn movie. The same goes for Frances McDormand. The script is lame, and the use of jas and geezes is
overdone.
All in all, Fargo doesn't work anymore.
The Fast and the Furious (2001)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/04, 2/06
2/06:
A rip-off of Point Break, The Fast and the Furious is stupid.
All I see is souped-up Hondas, Michelle Rodriguez's fake tomboyish acting, and Paul Walker's gay attraction to Vin Diesel.
"It's just something about engines that calms me down, you know." Here's a free piece of advice: lay off the drugs, ya fucktard.
Oh, yes. Notice at the beginning there are four cars going 140 MPH for like 10 minutes before returning to where they
started at. That would make it roughly 23 miles in distance. Now, what city has a downtown street this long? How about the
three Honda Civics against a huge Mack truck? You know, the laws of physics says the truck is bound to destroy these cars
effortlessly.
All in all, The Fast and the Furious is strictly for idiot fanboys who chug energy drinks all day long and will
die of a heart attack in their late 20's.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/05
6/05:
Oh wow, man, the plot of Fast Times at Ridgemont High is about the celebration of wasted youth.
Far out, man. No, seriously. This film is crap and unbelievable. There are a couple of good moments, and that's it.
Sean Penn is awful. I hate nearly all of the characters. The movie only has a high replayability value for
Phoebes Cates, that's it.
All in all, Fast Times at Ridgemont High is nothing more than a soft porn flick.
Fatal Attraction (1987)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
8/03, 7/08
7/08:
It's clear: Fatal Attraction stole the plot from Play Misty from Me, and Clint Eastwood is calling Adrian
Lyne to get him to fork over the profits.
Glenn Close is unattractive playing the "crazed" stalker. There's something about her hair that throws me off. Bad wig,
perhaps? Plus, her eyes are demonic instead of alluring. She being the mistress is implausible given the fact that the wife is
much better-looking.
When I see the soft lighting and minimalist New York background setting, I'm constantly reminded of 9½ Weeks. In
other words, Adrian Lyne is trying to duplicate his success by using the same concept, hence his reputation as a
one-dimensional director which has been endlessly proven in all of his films.
The first thirty minutes starts off with how and why. Then, the next hour drags down the pace. Finally, things start to pick
up because obviously the truth has to be told. It's the last five minutes that's ludicrously stupid. One minute, Alex
Forrest is choked to death and drowned in the bath tub. Even her eyes make no mistake of it. The next thing I
know, she comes back alive just like Jason Voorhees going for the last stab while looking radiantly alive before she's gunned
down. Thus, reality has been permanently suspended.
After experiencing Play Misty for Me and Fatal Attraction, I must ask this: is there a healthy way to resolve the
conflict without the option of killing the stalker? The approach both films had taken says it's the only solution. But this
is not how the real world works. Anyhow, the funny thing about the sex fling between Michael Douglas and Glenn Close is there
isn't much to see. I think it happened so quickly that I wasn't sure what made them sexy despite the look of the movie poster.
If there's a positive thing to say, Anne Archer and Ellen Hamilton Latzen have done a good job.
All in all, Fatal Attraction should be retitled as Desperate Attraction, and Clint Eastwood still wants
the profits.
Fatal Instinct (1993)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/20
11/20:
Although not truly a laugh-out-loud film, Fatal Instinct is a clever neo-noir spoof that's in the same league
as The Cheap Detective and Murder by Death.
I recognize many, many movies that are referenced, and they are Double Idemnity, Basic Instinct (hence, the
poster), The Postman Always Rings Twice, Martin Scorsese's Cape Fear, Body Heat,
Sleeping with the Enemy, The Mambo Kings, and Fatal Attraction, among others.
What I appreciate a lot is the high level of subtlety. I mean, look at Airplane! and countless other imitations
when the jokes are obvious and thus not funny. But in Fatal Instinct, it's been a nonstop run of cleverness.
Ironically, besides the near nonexistent plot, it's the film's fatal flaw: just too much for me to take in one sitting.
As for the cast, I'm impressed with Armand Assante because I wasn't expecting this kind of performance from him. A veteran
of cult pictures, Sherilyn Fenn is at her usual best, and it's one of the last major productions for Sean Young who continues
to fall from grace which is too bad.
All in all, Fatal Instinct is often better than most of the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker crap.
The Fatal Mallet (1914)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
9/06
9/06:
Just give me the goddamn mallet, so I can pound Charlie Chaplin's skull until it starts spewing out brains.
What a fucking horrid picture. Burn them all. Burn all of Chaplin's films. They're terrible. All horrible. All useless.
The Fatal Mallet is a repeat of the same ungodly shit. And why? What the fuck was wrong with Charlie Chaplin?
The fucking idiot.
All in all, The Fatal Mallet is what Charlie Chaplin deserved to get his head smashed.
Father Hood (1993)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/18
5/18:
Father Hood is a lighthearted film about a bad dad who changes his mind about the responsibilities and decides to
become a good father.
There's plenty of action and comedy. More importantly, it has a lot of Patrick Swayze who shines and is fun to
watch as usual. I like the word play on the title which shows a common hood who's supposed to act like a father to his two
kids by setting a good example.
The abuse the children received in the orphanage and how they were exploited for profit (by none other than
The Shawshank Redemption's Bob Gunton) is common and realistic. That's why Father Hood is a better movie than
the critics claim it to be.
All in all, serious fans of Patrick Swayze will like Father Hood, and I did, too.
Fatso (1980)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/14
6/14:
I remember Fatso when it ran a lot on HBO during the late 80's.
Sad to say, it's a film I never saw but only to retain the knowledge of the title as a derisive label for the particular
group. But thankfully, I finally got the chance to see it as a premiere on TCM recently.
To my surprise, Fatso is an entertaining picture. I classify it as a nice slice-of-life story. Dom Deluise is perfect
for the role although I don't see him as fatso or just plain fat. What Dom needs is some exercise, and he'll
look good slimmed down.
It's the supporting cast that makes it workable. The best performance out of this bunch comes from Ron Carey as
Dominick's little brother. Anne Bancroft is too much. Sad to say, Dom, Ron, and Anne have long passed away.
Candice Azzara, who plays Lydia, provides a nice spark plug to provide a subplot to give the film another dimension.
All in all, Fatso is a low-key picture that's quite good.
The Favor (1994)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/20
6/20:
Showing off his sculpted bod one more time, The Favor, which was shot in 1990 just right after Thelma & Louise,
is the last theatrically released small picture (due to Orion's bankruptcy) for Brad Pitt before his career would take off
astronomically.
Harley Jane Kozak and Elizabeth McGovern are the biggest problem. Their characters have too much screen time and are
neither cute nor attractive. The latter, I can't stop thinking she has the jaw structure of a man despite her deep
blue eyes. The former pisses me off greatly for being such an inconsiderate wife who thinks her high school crush is the most
important thing going on in her life while putting her husband in a world of emotional pain as she neglects their two girls. If
I were him, I would just divorce her. Look at his wife's teddy; when was the last time she wore something like it for him?
When Brad Pitt, Bill Pullman (eh, I guess), Larry Miller, and Ken Wahl take over, they are better and easier to tolerate if
it's only for a brief time. The picture moves well with occasional funny moments, especially in the last thirty minutes.
Then, the female leads come back, and I'm like, "Gosh...what stupid idea do they have next?" It's not fun to be in this
back-and-forth position. By the way, the paintings that are supposedly done by Brad Pitt's character? They were actual works of
The Princess Bride actor Cary Elwes' brother Damian.
All in all, it's hard to believe a female wouldn't be interested in somebody as handsome as Brad Pitt.
The FBI Story (1959)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
5/08
5/08:
After the great introduction of The FBI Story, I was expecting a fun ride into the life of an FBI agent.
Instead, the movie turns out to be The Family Life Plus Some FBI Stories. It's a major bore throughout although there are
occasional FBI tidbits to keep me entertained. Still, the focus remains 90% on the family, and I can't believe it's
149 minutes long. Having Vera Miles on board is a mistake because she takes away the biggest asset of the film: James Stewart.
When there's not enough of him or his FBI work, what's there to look forward to?
At the end, I'm surprised there isn't a single person in the audience within the movie falling asleep during the
narration of Hardesty's "interesting" life. James Stewart is fine when he appears. I don't mind the random jump
from one story to another. They're gripping to watch.
All in all, The FBI Story is outdated like the Ford Pinto.
Fear (1996)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
12/13
12/13:
Fear is a well-done psychological thriller with a great script, expert direction, and across-the-board excellent
performances.
Although Mark Wahlberg is an awful actor, he's effective, albeit corny, as the loser stalker. Reese Witherspoon's acting
is the key ingredient to make the film work because of her reactions to different situations.
The biggest bonus is the inclusion of William Petersen who played two of the all-time great characters in
To Live and Die in L.A. and Manhunter. He obviously brings a lot of energy to Fear. There's
no contest between him and Mark Wahlberg, so it's unfair for the former to have to go against between three and
five antagonists at once. If there's a negative, it's the pain of having to look at the dopehead's face throughout.
All in all, Fear exceeds my expectations, leaving me satisfied.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
1/04, 7/05, 6/08
7/05:
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is true to Hunter Thompson's book and, more importantly, the gonzo style.
Enjoying the reputation of being an eclectic actor and having a predilection for the weird, Johnny Depp is at home. Benicio
del Toro's rendition of the lawyer is dead-on and perfect. I believe the story was meant to be anti-drug.
All in all, I'm impressed with Terry Gilliam by getting everything right for Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
6/08:
I've read the famed book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas three times, but I have a sour perspective of it now.
The misogynistic treatment is what's hard for me to go past. Drugs consumed by the two characters are plain
absurd. Obviously, the novella gets plenty of praise for the exciting Gonzo journalistic writing, which is coupled with
Ralph Steadman's artwork, because the style is unique. If there's any reason to watch the film, it's the
outstanding performance by Benicio del Toro which is probably in the top two of his career with the other being
Traffic. Johnny Depp isn't bad.
All in all, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas contains too much misogyny to be enjoyable.
Feardotcom (2002)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/18
7/18:
I have a knack for seeing worst critically acclaimed films of the year to find out why.
After going through Feardotcom, it doesn't fit the bill, and I've seen way worse. It's not a good movie, that's all.
The concept is interesting and would have worked out well, but the problem with the plot is it's only good for three minutes.
There isn't much to go on afterwards, hence the smoke and mirrors to fill in the rest of the time with many cheap scare-'em
moments.
Another problem is the constant use of darkness. It seems the sun doesn't exist in this. Every time there's a lead to aid
the investigation, it has to be followed up alone in a very scary place during the middle of the night. Why not do it during
the day and also with other colleagues for safety reasons?
I don't understand why Terry, the city health inspector, was allowed to tag along with Mike, who basically disappears much
of the time given the potential to make most of his character, when he should be working with other police detectives. All
Terry is good for is yelling, "Oh, my God!", which is, in fact, almost the final line of Feardotcom.
The barely scary movie looks like it takes place in New York City, but the setting is so foreign that it was
actually shot on location in Luxembourg and Montreal. It's patently stupid to call the website "feardotcom.com"
because doing so is like calling a restaurant "The La Tarantella." A bad movie technique is showing the same sequence
repeatedly, and it's been the case whenever the website is initially visited.
All in all, Feardotcom has a lot of unrealized potential, but the plot seems to be hardly worked on.
Fearless (1993)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/06
4/06:
Fearless is Ordinary People, but this time, it's about an airline crash survivor.
It's monotonously boring and goes nowhere. I'm not enthralled with the story because, for one thing, surviving
the plane crash was a freak event. Just accept it, and move on. Plus, I don't agree with the method used by the
psychiatrist on his patients because it's like dispensing torture by reliving the tragic moment.
I've seen Jeff Bridges give better performances. The enormously talented Benicio del Toro has a nice part. Tom Hulce, who's
famous for playing Mozart in Amadeus, plays the lawyer well even though he's a bit over the top. Frankly, Peter
Weir isn't capable of bringing intensity to the table. With the exception of Witness, he tries hard in many
films such as Dead Poets Society, The Mosquito Coast, and The Truman Show but can't pull it off
successfully.
All in all, Fearless fails to move me.
The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
9/11
9/11:
Coming from Roman Polanski, The Fearless Vampire Killers is extremely disappointing.
There have been countless vampire movies, and this never stands out. Also, believe me, I've seen a good fifty to seventy-five
of them which is so many that there should be a new Hollywood law banning any more. They're all the same. If you want to have
a truly pleasant vampire experience, just read Bram Stoker's book Dracula. Nothing will ever come close to it.
Back to The Fearless Vampire Killers, it's apparent the filmmakers happened to find beautiful settings and
then proceeded to do impromptu scenes from start to finish. Also, they make attempts at comedy which fail to generate a single
laughter out of me. Pretty much, I was looking at my watch and asked, "How much longer?"
All in all, Roman Polanski is officially overrated.
Femme Fatale (2002)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
10/06
10/06:
Quick! Somebody take the camera away from Brian De Palma.
Femme Fatale, my goodness. What the fuck is that? A cinema masturbation? Not only is the movie slow, but it also
makes absolutely no sense. All Brian De Palma does is steal stuff from well-known pictures and implement them in his movies
just for fun. He's truly the master of plagiarism.
Rebecca Romijn-Stamos shows promise of being a great pornographic actress. But when it comes to serious films, give me a
break. Antonio Banderas, it's time for him to call it quits and find something else to do.
All in all, it's over for Brian De Palma.
Fences (2016)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/17
10/17:
Denzel Washington has finally lost it.
The kind of act the one-time Alonzo Harris is known for may have worked well during the 80's and the 90's, but
it's so outdated today that he needs to rethink about his approach and try something else different in order to stay relevant.
While at it, Denzel might want to lose some weight.
Fences is basically the black version of Death of a Salesman. The version with Dustin Hoffman got everything
right for a play-on-film. Because the N-word is freely thrown around by black characters, I might as well
get in the act by calling Denzel's film Death of a Phony Nigger.
At first, Troy Maxson was shaping to be the father many blacks never had. Hearing him talk, I thought Troy
was making sense although he should have shut up much sooner. Then, there was a sudden change in his personality in terms
of how big, great, mighty, and unapologetic he had been to everybody. Listening to him for what seemed to go on for hours
and hours, I got tired, started looking at the timer, and fell asleep occasionally, wishing the movie would end already.
Worst of them is the obvious theatrical feel. I know it's a play when the conversations, which have no
rhythm and are mostly done for the purpose of summarizing what happened in the past, are so fast-paced that I can hardly
keep up with them. At the same time, there's a lot of emphasis on prettifying the colors of Pittsburgh's bleak atmosphere.
Trying to find a point in this soporific mess has been very challenging for me. It's why plays will never translate well on
screen given the formula. Because of Denzel Washington's star power, Fences made business when it normally wouldn't.
Forget the Oscars; nobody deserved them.
All in all, Fences is a long, boring play that will test the patience of many die-hard Denzel Washington fans.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
12/02, 1/05, 12/16
12/16:
Classic 80's filmmaking at its finest.
Adams?
Here.
Adamley?
Here.
Adamowsky?
Here.
Adamson?
Here.
Adler?
Here.
Anderson?
Anderson?
Here.
Bueller?
Bueller?
Bueller?
Bueller?
If there's a good choice for movie of the decade for the 80's, Ferris Bueller's Day Off immediately comes
to my mind. What a well-assembled cast. Matthew Broderick, Jeffrey Jones, Edie McClurg, Jennifer Grey, Alan Ruck, Mia Sara,
Charlie Sheen (who stayed awake for more than 48 hours to play the drugged-out character), and Ben Stein all turn in memorable
performances. Their lines are highly quotable.
One of the students in the economics class who had a mouthful of a line, "My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's
girlfriend..." is Kristy Swanson. When I saw her face after being called on, I said to myself, "She looks familiar," but
I didn't realize it until I saw the interviews. So, anyway, that's her.
Interestingly, Cindy Pickett and Lyman Ward, who play Ferris' parents, would be married during the same year, but they divorced
in 1992. Also, Matthew Broderick and Jennifer Grey were dating each other at the same time and had become engaged thereafter.
But somehow, things went sour after they were involved in a fatal accident, due to Broderick driving in the wrong lane while
on vacation in Ireland, that left a mother and daughter dead.
During the interview, Alan Ruck made a reference to Lee Harvey Oswald when asked to describe Cameron. It's what I
thought for many years due to his brown Caduceus T-shirt. What makes the film unforgettable is the moments. As many of them
as there are, the best is the parade which included over 10,000 people; it looks real and spontaneous.
The timing of every scene is dead-on, giving the film a perfect flow. Time flies by quickly, and I can never get enough.
Clever is the ending of Ed Rooney inside the yellow school bus and then Ferris' "You're still here? It's over. Go home. Go."
Why Matthew Broderick was chosen to play Ferris Bueller is his universal appeal just like James Stewart. It's
impossible to dislike him.
I think of Ferris Bueller's Day Off as a true Chicago picture. Some of the locations include the Wrigley Field, the Art
Institute of Chicago (showing off the Picassos, Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte by Georges Seurat,
and Nighthawks by Edward Hopper), the Merc, and Sears Tower which once held the record for being the tallest building
in the world, lasting for almost a quarter of a century.
All in all, Ferris Bueller's Day Off is timeless.
Fever (1991)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
Fever wouldn't have worked without Armand Assante.
It's a strong, solid neo-noir thriller. I thought at first I was laid a dud, but after half an hour had passed, it began
to take off when Lacy was kidnapped. Therefore, the action is nonstop. What helps, too, is the photography, showing a good
control between light and dark with rich colors.
Once again, it's Armand Assante who steals the show. As Ray, he plays a convincing criminal who knows the life and is very direct.
Sam Neill's character thinks he can get the kidnappers right away, but it's just that Ray is more aware of what it takes. Anyway,
Sam Neill does a good job while the rest of the cast passes muster.
All in all, serious fans of Armand Assante need to take a look at Fever.
Fever Pitch (2005)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
4/06
4/06:
Fresh, lively, and, to some extent, enjoyable, Fever Pitch contains absolutely no crude humor or gag jokes.
It's also clean, almost wholesome, family entertainment which is a big surprise given it was directed by the
Farrelly Brothers. I'm impressed with the concept, and yes, it's very applicable today. I can relate a lot to Ben
Wrightman. Also, I'm pleased to see limited exposure to baseball while the story is unfolding.
However, there are few problems. One, friends of each side frequently appear and drop out. Two, Drew
Barrymore is miscast. Three, as expected, she and Jimmy Fallon have no chemistry. That being said, he should have been
paired up with somebody else more believable.
All in all, Fever Pitch is a quick watch, but I would have enjoyed it more if Drew Barrymore was replaced.
A Few Good Men (1992)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
4/04, 1/05, 3/07, 4/22, 6/22
3/07:
The performances of A Few Good Men are thoroughly outstanding.
Jack Nicholson gives a classic Oscar-worthy performance as Colonel Nathan Jessup, and he has an unforgettable, timeless line
during the electrifying courtroom scene: "You can't handle the truth!"
Tom Cruise is brilliant. People can hate him all they want, but I know a good actor when I see one. I love how he kept it
strictly professional with Demi Moore. Unfortunately, the film is a bit too long and sometimes winding. The momentum might get
going and then drags. The story can be hard to understand, especially when many people's names are involved.
All in all, I'll need to see A Few Good Men again for a better opinion because it's a film that deserves to be rated
at least '9'.
4/22:
A Few Good Men is a remarkable military courtroom thriller picture.
It's hard to decide which is better: this or Anatomy of a Murder. While
Jack Nicholson may have been Oscar-nominated for Best Supporting Actor, it's a surprise that Tom Cruise wasn't. Next to
Ron Kovic in Born on the Fourth of July, Tom
Cruise gives the best performance of his career, right down to his ad-libbed impersonation of Jack Nicholson. Watch how he
shook his hand while drinking a glass of water and then regaining his composure before facing Colonel Jessup again. His
lawyerly demeanor is also better than what he showed in The Firm.
The "I want the truth! You can't handle the truth!" scene is, without a doubt, the most powerful of the film. Earlier, Daniel
Kaffee saw Jessup's true colors after he was dressed down by him and then stored the moment in the back of his head. He
had a workable strategy around it for the longest time but remained unsure if he was willing to risk his career by taking
advantage of Jessup's personality flaw. Once Kaffee saw an opening during his line of questioning in court, he went for the
jugular like a bulldog. It's a calculated move, hence the tipping point of A Few Good Men to receive a '10' from me.
Elsewhere, the acting is uniformly impeccable. Demi Moore, Kevin Pollak, Kevin Bacon, Kiefer Sutherland, and Wolfgang
Bodison...it's very strong stuff. Of course, all the credit goes to Aaron Sorkin for penning a great screenplay which first
ran on Broadway in 1989 before it was picked up by Hollywood. For Demi Moore, it's probably the best performance of her career,
a rarity when she actually figured out what acting was supposed to be all about. I'm glad no romance came to fruition between
her character and Kaffee because this is supposed to be about professionalism. The funniest moment is when Kevin Bacon went
back to the table with the book in his hand and Tom Cruise surprisingly took it away from him while walking past him.
Back to the beginning, I must question the need for revealing the meeting among Jessup, Markinson, and Kendrick. Now, I've seen the
movie five or six times, and the scene always throws me off. Why do this order: Santiago is found murdered first, Kaffee is then
told about the case, the aforementioned meeting, and the rest of the film? They should've either made the meeting to be the
very first scene shown or, better yet, transformed it into a presumption by using Markinson as the holdout to confirm that
the meeting did happen. In the meantime, Kaffee forgot to ask his clients the most important question: how was the rag procured?
By the way, the title sequence of the military performance, especially with the guns, is quite good which was done by
the U.S. Marine Corps marching band and the Texas A&M University Corps of Cadets Fish Drill Team.
All in all, a top five of the courtroom genre, A Few Good Men is among the best movies made.
6/22:
Tom Cruise yelled, "I want the truth!"
And Jack Nicholson responded with "You can't handle the truth!" when it comes for everybody to realize the erstwhile
Top Gun star can clearly act.
All in all, the superb performances, the strong script, and the fine direction have turned A Few Good Men into a winner.
The Field (1990)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/20
8/20:
Richard Harris' signature performance was given in This Sporting Life, but not many people know he received another
Oscar nomination for mounting the greatest comeback of his career in The Field after more than a decade of crap films.
Directed by Jim Sheridan of My Left Foot, it's a strange movie about generational differences. To Bull McCabe, the
field means everything, and to everybody else, they're like, "Okay, so what? It's just a plot of land." When Bull doesn't
get his way, he resorts to violence, but it backfires on him big time.
Unquestionably, The Field is a through and through snapshot of Ireland. It's impossible not to be enraptured by the
verdant landscape that's surrounded by rocks and crags under the cover of melancholy clouds. There are pervasive
cultural stereotypes among its people. All I see is retards and near retards. They drink so much and don't seem
interested in doing something else more meaningful, so I'll leave it to Jim Sheridan since he was born and raised in Ireland.
If the time set in the film feels confusing, it actually takes place during the 1930's.
There are fine performances all over the place. At least a couple of actors would go on to appear in
Braveheart and The General. If there's a perfect character for Sean Bean, it's Tadhg McCabe. John Hurt should
have gotten an Oscar nomination; he's simply fantastic, and yes, he had his teeth caps removed on purpose. Of course, Jim
Sheridan brings back Brenda Fricker after her Oscar win for My Left Foot.
All in all, Richard Harris proved in The Field he was a handful of best actors to ever come out of Ireland.
Field of Dreams (1989)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
11/03, 7/20
7/20:
"If you build it, he will come."
That's the mantra of Field of Dreams which is an all-time great baseball film. Of course, it confirms the
death of the national pastime, and there's no going back.
That's why many old-timers prefer to watch it being played by legends of the game such as Cobb, Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio,
Mantle, Williams, and Shoeless Joe who should've been inducted in the Baseball Hall of Fame decades ago. Hey, wait a
minute...you see what's the problem here? They're all shockingly white.
Yep, Field of Dreams was made for the white folks. The Negro League did exist at that time, and it had better
ballplayers. But there's no room in Iowa for guys like Satchel Paige, Cool Papa Bell, Josh Gibson, Jackie Robinson, and Buck
Leonard. Well, well, well...it's why James Earl Jones was thrown in to make it look all right although it's supposed to be a
white guy by the name of J.D. Salinger.
Anyway, there's no doubt of movie magic that's in the spirit of James Stewart's time-honored pictures such as
It's a Wonderful Life and Harvey. They just don't make movies like them anymore. Why is it so hard these days?
Is it because the United States had become so aggressive and money-centric?
Kevin Costner is a one-of-a-kind actor, having done terrific timeless pictures. Field of Dreams is one of them that
he should be eternally proud of. Amy Madigan, Gaby Hoffmann, James Earl Jones, and Ray Liotta are superb. It's the final role
of Burt Lancaster's glorious career, having made many terrific pictures. I've wondered who The Voice was, but the answer
remains elusive to this day.
All in all, it's hard not be moved by Field of Dreams.
The Fifth Element (1997)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
6/07
6/07:
The Fifth Element is a headache-inducing sci-fi movie with performances that range from corny to excruciatingly bad.
At the beginning, I thought I could stomach it all the way to the end, but when Chris Tucker entered the picture, my eyes
couldn't take the torture anymore. As bad as he is, the special effects are downright horrible, even by 90's standards. I mean,
it was released during the same year as Titanic, having taken five steps backwards from the precedent that
Star Wars had set.
It's painfully obvious Milla Jovovich had no acting ability to begin with. Once, you asked yourself, "Why didn't Luke Perry
succeed in Hollywood?" Look no further than The Fifth Element. Now, what the fuck is that on Gary Oldman's head?
It looks like a condom.
I don't know what the worst part is. It seems to be a tie: the acting, the special effects, the plot, the chemistry, the
script, the direction, the cast, the characters, the feel, the technology, the mood, the tone, and the attitude. It's like
rummaging through a dumpster and finding nothing but worthless shit.
All in all, among the worst films made, The Fifth Element is super Z-grade popcorn junk for the mental midgets.
Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
3/23
3/23:
Fifty Shades of Grey is 9½ Weeks and The Thomas Crown Affair all rolled into one
with some S&M thrown in for good measure.
It's also a "let's see where this goes" type of movie. Obviously, S&M means pain. A soft hit on the hand with a belt isn't
going to cut it. Once the girl is seriously whipped on the buttocks, she suddenly decides the whole thing isn't for her. My
question at this moment is: should the movie have ended sooner during the first ten minutes? It's the only essential info she
needed.
I skipped the hoopla when Fifty Shades of Grey first came out, but I missed nothing. My initial prediction was 100%
correct that it was 9½ Weeks all over again. The story is about the same with one big difference:
9½ Weeks is sensual while Fifty Shades of Grey is sexless. It's been robotic and devoid of human emotion.
Dakota Johnson is brave enough to take on Kim Basinger-like role by being naked a lot, but unfortunately, she's neither
attractive nor desirable. Now, I wonder what her parents (Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith) thought of the film. Entering the
shoes of Mickey Rourke, Jamie Dornan is an odd choice due to his slanted eyes which keep throwing me off. To replace him, I had
been thinking of Ryan Gosling or maybe Justin Timberlake. Both Dakota and Jamie have no chemistry, yet they're able to make
the film work.
Outside of the two stars, there isn't a lot going on. 9½ Weeks had an incredible amount of New York minimalist
backdrop which made it easy to discard everybody else because it was all about John and Elizabeth. Yet in
Fifty Shades of Grey, there's little of the former but too much of the latter, adding not much to the story.
At the same time, many questions are left unanswered.
All in all, Fifty Shades of Grey drops the ball by making it closer to 9½ Weeks while going soft on S&M.
Fight Club (1999)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
12/02, 1/24
1/24:
People, mostly idiot fanboys, have been reading too much into Fight Club.
I remember seeing the movie over twenty years ago and thinking of nothing much. Checking out others'
opinions after my second viewing, I could only say, "Really?" Um, okay. Simply put, Fight Club is a catchy
movie with a catchy script and catchy performances by two leads: Ed Norton and Brad Pitt. That's it.
I can see there's some philosophy going on which isn't far from what started the Reign of Terror during the French
Revolution. But this is the difference: the people en masse got tired of the monarch's wasteful spending. There were
other reasons including the estates system, 100% burden of taxes on the commoners, and the costly wars.
In Fight Club, it's merely dozens of people involved which isn't good enough. The issues are neither huge nor
widespread. Hence, the movie made no impact on the public back then and still doesn't. Then, there's the nonsensical script
that grows worse over time. When the moment comes to reveal the narrator and Tyler Durden are one and the same,
the show is essentially over. The rest of the way is rubbish.
Oh, yeah...the fights? That's great. Now, please see yourself as a willing participant. When somebody is beating the
shit out of your face, I want you to imagine how much it hurts. When your face is severely maligned and you've lost a
bunch of teeth, don't you wish you never did it for fun because you hate looking at yourself in the mirror the rest of
your life? By the way, good luck with the medical bills, and remember...Brad Pitt is still eternally handsome because
it's only a movie.
All in all, if Brad Pitt hadn't been cast, Fight Club would've never gone anywhere.
Film Johnny (1914)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
Here we go again.
More Chaplin bullshit. More running around. More pushing around. More agitation. More slapstick humor. More physical humor.
Uh, strike the last two sentences.
At least, there's some plot here. Although boring and repetitive, Film Johnny is better than some of the previous
film shorts as it's less stupid.
All in all, skip Film Johnny, and watch the Three Stooges instead.
Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool (2017)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/23
7/23:
Based on Peter Turner's book about his relationship with Gloria Grahame, Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool
consistently fails to answer the ultimate question: what the heck happened?
Otherwise, it's a lightweight Harold and Maude type of picture. While the romance per se is not interesting, the
filmmakers drop the ball big time by not going further back to the beginning to examine what led to Gloria Grahame's downfall.
Yes, Gloria Grahame was pretty during her time and had the looks to rival Lana Turner. Oddly, she was never satisfied with
her thin upper lip, opting for many plastic surgeries which eventually rendered it paralyzed. She was prominent in a handful of
films noirs. She's well known for In a Lonely Place and won an Oscar for The Bad and the Beautiful.
Since the mid 50's, she fell off the map after being difficult to work with on the set of Oklahoma!
Gloria Grahame's image was permanently destroyed when she married Tony Ray, her second husband Nicolas' son.
All in all, if Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool won't answer the question, there's no reason to see it.
Final (2001)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/20
5/20:
Calling all fans of Denis Leary, they are in for a treat, and it's called Final although a great deal of patience
is required.
At first, I thought the appropriate title should have been Get Me the Hell Out of the Room with Hillary Clinton! The
longer the movie went on, the more my questions were not answered. Finally, the last twenty minutes began to clear up
everything, boosting my rating from '5' to '7'.
That being said, I'll have to see Final again later. There's no doubt the whole thing is totally on Denis Leary and
Hope Davis' back. Both give excellent performances and may have been Oscar-nominated; one is drily funny while
the other is emotionally restrained because of the seriousness of the situation. Their acting carries the film through
for two hours without boring me which is not an easy thing to do. Of course, there's something special about
Denis Leary.
If there's a negative, it's that Final is too long. My patience was tested from time to time. Therefore, thirty
minutes should be chopped out. Not to worry, I'm pleased by the acting, and the rest is good with a sad ending.
Believe it or not, Final is a sci-fi picture, but there's some daze and confusion going on which is perfectly
reasonable because Bill thought it was 400 years later after getting defrosted from the cryogenic storage. Given he's
intelligent to answer some tough trivia questions about history, Bill should have realized the colloquial English
language hadn't progressed much from what he's used to.
By the way, there's an actor named Earl Hindman as one of the doctors. If you can cover most of his face and just watch
his eyes, it's him as the neighbor behind the fence in Tim Allen's TV sitcom Home Improvement. Final is
the last film of Earl Hindman's career before passing away from lung cancer two years later.
All in all, Final is a well-done sci-fi picture that's very much performance-driven.
Final Analysis (1992)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
7/15
7/15:
Six years after being paired in No Mercy, Richard Gere and Kim Basinger decide to give it another go in
Final Analysis for the last time.
Thanks to the strength of the story, the results are better this time. The only thing I'm surprised is the
screenplay wasn't written by Joe Eszterhas because it seems to be right up his alley. Although I fail to be wowed by Gere's
and Basinger's performances, they do enough to move the story along. Uma Thurman stars but is nothing more than eye candy.
By far the best performer, Eric Roberts plays an interesting character until his untimely death. The momentum sort of goes
away with him afterwards. He would have been good in films noirs during the 40's. Keith David is used at the right
time to interject energy in order to advance the plot, and Paul Guilfoyle is effective in bringing noir.
The story is interesting, but listening to Uma Thuman's character's talk, especially when she mentioned the gun acting
as her "surrogate penis," is a dead giveaway because I'm familiar with Freud's theories. It's obvious she read the
books ahead of time. Eventually, it, along with the dumbbell bar (I was like, "What is it doing there?"), would set up the
intended plot device, making the rest of the way predictable just like Color of Night.
Worse is the need to top one scene after another in a dramatic cliffhanger manner. Paying homage to Vertigo,
Final Analysis never seems to end in the last twenty minutes. All I can do is roll my eyes and further suspend my
disbelief. As a result, director Phil Joanou loses me for good. The only advice he should have heeded is "less is more."
By the way, the lighthouse is the Pigeon Point Lighthouse which is located fifty miles south of San Francisco.
All in all, Final Analysis is interesting, but it's ridiculous toward the end.
Final Destination (2000)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/12
11/12:
Here's a true story that happened to me.
Wanting to see Final Destination again, I checked out the DVD from the library. Then, after seeing minute or two of it,
I realized the movie was the fourth part of the franchise. Whoever came up with the idea of putting The in front
of Final Destination to constitute it as the fourth installment must be a certified moron.
Anyway, chalk up Final Destination as one of those films that are so bad that they are unintentionally funny. Even the
all-around acting is damn terrible. The idiocy of the plot has my eyes rolling. It's hard for me to take which is
why I laughed so much frequently.
Who the hell cares about the spoiled teenagers killed in a plane crash? Take a look at the nerdy protagonist. One moment,
he's pretending to be an airline disaster expert. Then, he takes a break by reaching for the Penthouse
issue. Oh, hey...how about that hammy performance by Tony Todd? It's a sad day for Candyman.
All in all, Final Destination is piss-poor.
Fine Things (1990)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/21
12/21:
Fine Things is an uneven picture that's long in running length while short on substance and intrigue.
A good comparison to one of Danielle Steel's works is Changes. Both are similar in terms of a man and a woman living
their own lives until meeting each other. Then, things happen. This would be boring in Fine Things for a while until
the first true conflict shows up.
When the wife revealed she had been diagnosed of osteosarcoma which is extremely rare, the plot starts
getting better before being stuck in an extended stretch of going-through-the-motions. After she died, I thought it was the
end of it. But nooo...there's more to go by shifting the focus to her ex-husband by wanting his daughter back.
Hence, Fine Things feels like two films in one. It's not that I have a problem with it; the other issue did
make for an interesting viewing. Yet I'm bothered by what I saw because of two reasons: (1) There's no prior history of
the father during his daughter's life; and (2) The daughter was never asked who she wanted to be with after all.
Plus, no investigation is conducted when it comes to the father's arrest history to establish a case of stability while
the stepfather is deemed the total package without a blemish.
D.W. Moffett gives a winning performance as the admirable stepfather who always keeps a positive attitude. Tracy Pollan, who's
currently Michael J. Fox's wife, is fair but is no Cheryl Ladd. I remember Noley Thornton from Beverly Hills, 90210,
but she stopped acting not long after. Cloris Leachman is too much, especially when it comes to the Jewish stuff.
Like it matters...
All in all, cutting at least thirty minutes out of Fine Things will make it a better film.
Fingers (1978)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/17
11/17:
It's not often Harvey Keitel has a lead role, and Fingers is one of the rare ones in his oeuvre and is
surprisingly good.
A New York hoodlum neo-noir in its own right with lowlife characters, it's about a talented but nutty
pianist with a short fuse who carries some sort of a venereal disease and has an explosive sexually pent-up anger
that's used as a way to get even with women.
Played by Michael V. Gazzo who's famous as Frankie Pentangeli in The Godfather Part II, the mob father, running his own
loan sharking operation, has a strong influence over the son who collects debts on the side and beats up guys if they don't
pay on time.
If there's a shocking and unexpected moment, it's the appearance of Jim Brown, the Cleveland Browns running back legend,
who's engaged in a threesome kiss scene with two white women. Speaking of The Godfather, the pizzeria owner is Lenny
Montana who played Luca Brasi in the first part who eventually slept with the "fishes" as indicated in the Sicilian message.
All in all, if I felt disappointed by Mean Streets, Fingers more than makes up for it.
Firefox (1982)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
6/06
6/06:
Normally, I like Clint Eastwood's films, but Firefox is awful and boring.
In fact, I would rather watch Top Gun ten consecutive times than a minute of this. The premise
is interesting, but it still doesn't make any sense. How am I supposed to believe Clint Eastwood's character was able
to outwit the KGB? His fake acting is a dead giveaway.
All in all, I can't believe I endured Firefox, which is one of the worst films made, for 136 minutes.
The Fireman (1916)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
10/07
10/07:
As stupefied as I am, waking up during the middle of The Fireman, I had only one burning question to ask: "Is it
finally over?"
It's like being in the middle of Dante's Inferno.
All in all, congratulations, Charlie Chaplin, you are truly the master of disaster.
Firestarter (1984)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
1/19
1/19:
Because of her face in Firestarter, I can now see why pedophiles love Drew Barrymore who beat out Poltergeist's
Heather O'Rourke for the role.
Every time Drew's character starts a fire, the fan must be turned on to blow against her hair. It's all silly theatrics,
if you ask me. The story is almost similar to Scanners with some Carrie thrown in, but this one is cornier.
Drew Barrymore's terrible acting is part of the problem, but David Keith, George C. Scott (who wore an eye patch because
he had an eye infection), and Martin Sheen are fine.
All in all, I feel like I got first-degree burns on my eyeballs after watching Firestarter.
Firewall (2006)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
11/08
11/08:
Firewall is a vintage Harrison Ford picture.
Unfortunately, it doesn't hold up well as compared to his past films. Hence, it's safe to say Harrison Ford's days
as a blockbuster star are long over.
Of the villains, they look like dumb amateurs, lacking the conviction in trying to pull off the heist.
Incidentally, why shoot the bad guy instead of the spoiled brat son and then promptly warn the family their daughter is
next? I mean, there are three hostages besides the father, and two of them are expendable.
One of the better moments is Robert Patrick, who's instantly recognizable as the blue-eyed T-1000 in
Terminator 2: Judgment Day, going against Harrison Ford. It's too bad there's not enough of it. Robert
Forster, who's a solid actor, doesn't have enough screen time. Virginia Madsen is hardly recognizable, so why bother casting
her in the first place? Paul Bettany, whose character is severely underdeveloped, seems miscast.
Richard Loncraine's direction is a nice treat as he takes advantage of the 90's formula by not going for the fancy stuff. The
adage "less is more" is strictly followed. Still, there are many questions. For example, when the family members
made their escape, why go inside the car? Why not run to the woods, thus making it impossible for the villains to locate
them? Or when Ford's character used the fire extinguisher to smash the windows, why not get out of the house, too? Why didn't
he yell out loud in his office, bringing attention to his problem?
All in all, Firewall is another enjoyable Harrison Ford vehicle, but it's best to keep expectations low.
The Firm (1993)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
11/03, 9/21, 5/23
9/21:
The first best-selling book John Grisham wrote is The Firm, and a movie was made out of it.
It comes with a big budget and a cast of well-known thespians giving somewhat superficial performances. Having read the book,
the ending is completely different for the movie and therefore sucks. Mitch McDeere decides to work for the Mafia because it's
important they're being billed correctly. Yeah...right.
Tom Cruise begins to be in a constant state of shock after finding out the truth for the first time and maintains it throughout. At
the outset, the firm should have realized something's off with his character and acted accordingly. That being said, he's the
wrong guy for the role; a stronger actor would have done the part justice by using appropriate emotions for different situations.
Jeanne Tripplehorn is no better, showing zero chemistry with Tom Cruise. Gene Hackman is ordinary but moves things along. Ed
Harris is extremely bald. For making photocopies, wearing a distracting orange wig, and doing nothing much else, Holly Hunter
strangely received an Academy Award nomination but won it away for The Piano during the same year.
Clocking at two hours and thirty-four minutes, the movie is too long while the script is a mix of okay and terrible. About
an hour is spent on the trivial stuff. At one point, Jeanne Tripplehorn escapes the house, and in five seconds, Tom Cruise
starts running like a madman after her as if he's in a 100-meter Olympic race. While this is going on, Jeanne's head start is
certainly unbelievable.
All in all, John Grisham's The Firm was mostly filmmable to begin with, but Hollywood decided to change a lot of
it and, as a result, made everything worse.
5/23:
For The Firm, I reread the book and decided to watch the film again to see how it compares.
I wasn't impressed with the former, and it was just lackluster. On the surface, the latter seems to be
well-made, having the hallmarks of a first-rate Hollywood production. Yet after spending so much time going through
the plot, the last twenty minutes leaves me cheated, leading to the conclusion that it's been workmanlike
the whole time which is evident through Tom Cruise's eyes toward the end.
The Firm has one of the worst endings ever. Mitch McDeere did all of the work, so he could become a mob lawyer? Uh,
that wasn't in the book. The explanation (overbilling!?!) doesn't make sense, either. It seems the writers left many
concepts intact during the first half of the book but threw out the second half by coming up with stupid crap.
The cast is fine; they are whom I imagined the characters to be but with some differences. It's hard for me to believe
Ed Harris agreed to do such a small part in a supporting role; he's better than that. Jeanne Tripplehorn comes off weak as
Mitch's wife. The most ridiculous is Holly Hunter receiving an Oscar nomination for nothing much; it should have gone to
somebody else more deserving. Equally so is Tom Cruise running hard plenty of times when he's, an overworked rookie
lawyer, supposed to be in bad shape.
Notice the actor who plays Sonny Capps. His name was Jerry Weintruab who's an important influence in the history
of music. Starting out, he discovered John Denver and thus managed his career. Later, he would be the first to conceive a
national tour in arenas which led to Elvis Presley making a comeback during the 70's. The same was done for Frank Sinatra.
All studios turned down Robert Altman's proposal to make Nashville until Jerry came along with his money,
and the rest is history.
All in all, two hours and thirty-four minutes is too long to watch The Firm which has a bad ending.
First Blood (1982)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/04, 4/05, 10/07, 7/11, 2/17, 8/20
4/05:
The uniqueness of Sylvester Stallone is captured in First Blood, a one-man guerilla war film.
Not only that, but a battle is also waged between his character and the elements of nature. It's a good yarn of how one man's
stubbornness can cost more than it's worth. First Blood has a reputation for being overly violent, but
the total body count is merely one which is when Galt fell out of the helicopter and that was an accident.
Stallone does most of his stunts and would break his ribs after doing the final third of the fall from the cliff. You can see
his pained anguish when he landed on the tree branch. At another point, he accidentally put his hand on an exploding squib.
A lot of people seem to forget that First Blood isn't the one that takes place in Vietnam and that it's the original
Rambo picture. So, it's easy for them to be confused because the sequel did overshadow it in terms of popularity. The most
interesting trivia is Steve McQueen was slated to play Rambo, but he was too out of it before dying from cancer in 1980.
All in all, First Blood is the beginning of Sylvester Stallone's highly bankable career in action-adventure films.
10/07:
Sylvester Stallone proves in First Blood why he was destined to be a great action star of the 80's.
With the slight exception of Arnold Schwarzenegger, there hasn't been anyone like him before or since then. My favorite line
of First Blood is "Don't push it, or I'll give you a war you won't believe!" Brian Dennehy is underrated, and he's
perfect as Sheriff Teasle. I wish David Caruso, whom I hate, was tortured more, but I'm disappointed. Not
much of an actor, Richard Crenna is only well known for his association with the Rambo franchise.
As good as the film is, the message bothers me. There are thousands of Vietnam survivors, but the problem is: what makes
Rambo more special than them? First Blood seems to say if a veteran is frustrated by being pushed around
and treated like an outsider, then he should retaliate by nuking a town.
All in all, First Blood is a unique classic film of the one-man guerilla war genre.
7/11:
Raising my rating of First Blood from '7' to '8', it's impossible to compare the original to the following
two sequels because the makeup of each is vastly different.
I give a lot of credit to Sylvester Stallone for his creativity to make First Blood watchably entertaining.
Also, it's interesting by giving attention to the Vietnam vets for their difficulty in reintegrating back to
society. It's like The Best Years of Our Lives but with violence.
All in all, First Blood is a unique film.
2/17:
"Don't push it, or I'll give you a war you won't believe!"
So it goes in First Blood. Naturally, many people think Rambo: First Blood Part II was the one that started
it all, but this is the original. Of course, the sequel would make Rambo internationally famous. There are many good moments
here, but the best of the bunch is Sylvester Stallone performing his own stunts while taking on local cops in the form of
guerilla warfare.
All in all, there hasn't been anything like First Blood before or since then.
8/20:
Still a unique classic of the one-man guerilla warfare genre, First Blood is the first step forward in the creation
of John J. Rambo before he would become internationally famous in the next film.
As much as I like Brian Dennehy, his character was clearly in the wrong, and he will receive no forgiveness from me. Rambo
did nothing wrong from the get-go. Throughout his career, Richard Crenna is only remembered for playing Colonel Trautman,
and that's not a bad way to go.
With the exception of the fall (he did the last third) from the cliff and the motorcycle scenes, the stunt work is all
Stallone. What's interesting about his character is he killed nobody in the process. Only one person died, and that's
Galt who fucking deserved it.
All in all, First Blood is just the beginning.
The First Deadly Sin (1980)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
After appearing in crap films for more than a decade, Frank Sinatra is back by starring in The First Deadly Sin.
If not for the additional elements, it would've been another ordinary murder mystery movie. On top of the imminent passing
of Edward X. Delaney's wife, the high amount of antipathy, and the serial killer's big speech, the film title has
religious undertones that aren't apparent on screen. Instead, it's manifested through people in terms of God's power.
The doctor has it, but the detective is frustrated with him for not getting the job done and decides to keep himself busy by
concentrating on the final case of his career. While at work, he's limited by his superior who doesn't want to hear
anything about his lead of a serial killer who has the power to take people's lives. Then, there's the wheelchair-bound man
at the apartment whose passion in mountain climbing was taken away by an accident. At the end, the serial killer, whose
life was messed up in a big way when he was a child, is caught but gives a final speech before he's killed by Delaney who
stopped caring anymore, especially after seeing what's happening to his wife and knowing he couldn't pursue him the proper
way anymore in spite of his solid detective work.
In top form, Frank Sinatra is almost as he was in
The Manchurian Candidate and is all class by the way he talks while
Faye Dunaway has the thankless task of being bedridden the entire time. Four supporting players are effective: Martin
Gabel, Brenda Vaccaro, James Whitmore, and Joe Spinell. It's interesting to see the first two being eager about the case on
hand versus the antipathetic characters that Delaney have been encountering constantly.
By the way, why is there a big mention of Theoni V. Aldredge during the opening credits for designing Faye Dunaway's
costumes when she's never seen wearing one? On the other hand, if you noticed the curious white sticker on Brenda Vaccaro's
door to her apartment, it's an "Operation Identification" sign which means the resident registered the
serial numbers of her electronic device with the New York Police Department for theft deterrence.
All in all, thanks to Frank Sinatra and the deep layers of symbolism, The First Deadly Sin rises above the usual.
First Knight (1995)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/04, 10/23
10/23:
Here's a fun Richard Gere film: First Knight.
It may be the best work by Julia Ormond despite not showing much of chemistry with the main star. Also, it's nice seeing
Chariots of Fire's Ben Cross again whose Shakespearean acting proves to be useful here. But really...this is Sean
Connery's show all the way through.
What I love the most is the focus on the Arthurian legend which has fascinated people for centuries. The movie does a great
job of enlivening the spirit which is mostly embodied by Sean Connery. If not for him, I don't see how it would have worked
although the best part is Richard Gere as Lancelot going through the gauntlet. The fantastic-looking cinematography
is a bonus.
All in all, there's a lot to like about First Knight, but it's Sean Connery's performance that takes the film to the
next level.
The First Power (1990)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/14, 4/20
9/14:
The story of The First Power is basic: chase the bad guy for a long while, somehow catch him, and finally defeat
him at the end just because the movie has run out of time.
It's not one chase but also a series of them in the same pattern. In between is a lot of spiritual hokum that involves
a great deal of imagery manipulation. After a while, it becomes annoying, and all I can ask for is an early end.
The believability factor is low, especially when a third-rate psychic owns a multimillion-dollar condo with a fantastic view
of Los Angeles.
Lou Diamond Phillips' character, who sports expensive designer clothes for a cop, is forceful and misogynistic, so it's
impossible to like him. Plus, he looks uncool when he's chain-smoking. Tracy Griffith is pretty but discardable. Jeff Kober,
who plays Channing, has Charles Bronson looks but with smoother facial skin. However, it doesn't help whenever his stunt
double is seen doing the heavy-duty work, most especially during the breakout scene from the gas chamber.
All in all, if you hate supernatural policiers, don't bother with The First Power.
4/20:
The First Power is a good example of a budding big-name actor failing the star power test.
Lou Diamond Phillips was good during the 80's, but when 1990 rolled around, he didn't have it anymore, becoming mediocre in
the process. Therefore, he fell off the map until making a nice but small comeback in Courage Under Fire. That being
said, the lack of star power is evident why Lou Diamond Phillips couldn't carry The First Power.
The other trouble is it goes in circles endlessly until the last ten minutes. The supernatural stuff, while it seems cool at
first, is ridiculous because what exactly are the rules? When does Patrick "See You Around, Buddy Boy" Channing become a
spirit, and when does he become tangible? Won't it be a good idea for him to stay in spirit the whole time just to be safe?
Once in a while, I'm thrown off by the little things such as Lou Diamond Phillips' expensive sartorial tastes and the
psychic's multimillion-dollar condo that overlooks the entire city of Los Angeles. So, her gig must pay very well, huh?
By the way, the actress, Tracy Griffith, is Melanie's half-sister although she's not related to Tippi Hedren.
All in all, RIP Lou Diamond Phillips who went from A-list to B films to straight-to-video crap.
A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
8/04, 8/13
8/13:
In A Fish Called Wanda, Kevin Kline is beyond brilliant as "Don't Call Me Stupid" Otto while Jamie Lee Curtis is the
perfect femme fatale that everybody wants her.
Michael Palin is lovable as the stuttering animal activist who ends up murdering three Yorkshire terriers. John Cleese is
wonderful as Archie the husband with a tedious family life. It's one of the wackiest, funniest pictures made, ranking
right up there with M*A*S*H, This Is Spinal Tap, and Zorro, The Gay Blade.
There are hilarious scenes throughout, and it's Kevin Kline who makes many of them work, hence the Oscar win. One more time
from Otto, "It's K-K-K-Ken! C-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me! How you gonna c-c-c-catch me, K-K-K-Ken?" And the joke is on him.
All in all, if you want to laugh, go with A Fish Called Wanda.
Fitzcarraldo (1982)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
4/24
4/24:
I don't get it.
A white guy wishes to bring opera to the Indians who probably won't understand anything that's sung, and to accomplish it,
he's able to get the natives, whom he never met in the past, to do all the work for free to clear out an isthmus that's steep (40% incline)
on both sides. Then, they move a 300-ton steamship across the isthmus before it's wrecked on the other river that's filled with
rapids? I assumed the guy confirmed it was calm going down that way. Had he done so, then the whole thing wouldn't have happened
in the first place.
I don't know how long the whole clearing business took, but if it's months and months, I find it amazing the white guy's
clothes are still in good shape if that's the same thing he wore every single day. Why is the brothel owner willing to
squander her money on this foolish idea? Won't it be easier to have the people transport the rubber to be packed into smaller
boats over the land from one river to another?
At any rate, Fitzcarraldo is a unique semi-epic picture that's sometimes slow-paced. I wasn't sure what to think.
After seeing the end result, the middle portion ultimately became pointless. It's been a lot of work for nothing: the felling of
giant trees, the sheer waste of manpower and time, and the several lives lost. At one point, I could tell a toy model was used for
the ship when it was in the middle of the rapids; the other dead giveaway is nobody was actually on the ship.
By the way, I didn't believe they were able to move the steamship over the hill given the primitive tools at hand along with
the elaborate pulley system which had some steel components. It turns out that they did it with a bulldozer. As for
the clearing part, it had to be years and years if no heavy machinery was used.
All in all, Fitzcarraldo is nonsensical.
Five Easy Pieces (1970)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
5/05, 4/09, 3/21
5/05:
Five Easy Pieces has one of the greatest scenes in movie history, and it concerns a chicken salad sandwich order which
resulted in a famous line from Jack Nicholson: "I want you to hold it between your knees."
Anyway, it's a complicated character study film. Either you get it or you don't. It's Easy Rider all over again. Jack
Nicholson is great. He's one of the finest actors of his generation, having done some of the most important films during the
70's. Five Easy Pieces is arguably one of them.
The following quote sums Jack's character the best: "You're a strange person, Robert. I mean, what will you come to? If a
person has no love for himself, no respect for himself, no love of his friends, family, work, something—how can he
ask for love in return? I mean, why should he ask for it?"
All in all, the two reasons to see Five Easy Pieces are Jack Nicholson's performance and the chicken salad scene.
4/09:
My opinion of Five Easy Pieces has been going up steadily.
If you want to be absolutely certain of Jack Nicholson's place among the pantheon of great actors, look no further than
Five Easy Pieces. What a tough role for him because he was given so little to make his character
work. It speaks volumes of his extraordinary ability to grasp the complexities of what the film was asking for.
I also like Karen Black's performance, and I understand her character better this time around. It's easy to fault Dupea for
not dumping Rayette sooner, but the lack of initiative is actually common when it comes to doomed relationships.
I can't rate Five Easy Pieces higher than '8' because of the paucity in character details. When the movie ended, I
was left with an irritating feeling that I didn't know enough when it came to the history of the family or didn't
understand why Bobby Dupea had become who he was. Regardless, the chicken salad scene is an all-time great and will always
be the centerpiece.
All in all, Five Easy Pieces works because of Jack Nicholson.
3/21:
Jack Nicholson has given many great performances for decades, but one of them that absolutely ranks in the top three is
Five Easy Pieces.
One of the most complicated character study pictures, it has brilliant performances, writing, and direction. It's impossible to
think of Five Easy Pieces without thinking of the chicken salad scene. At the end, what Bobby Dupea was trying to say
is he hates himself and uses people for selfish reasons.
Both Jack Nicholson and Karen Black earned Oscar nominations. The Academy sure missed out on Helena Kallianiotes for giving a
five-minute soliloquy about garbage and filth during the car ride just to spruce up things. As for Karen Black, I feel bad how
her character was being treated; she didn't deserve it from Bobby and could do better than him.
All in all, when people talk about great actors, Jack Nicholson must be included because of films like Five Easy Pieces
and Chinatown.
The Five Heartbeats (1991)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/05
6/05:
Many adjectives can be used to describe The Five Heartbeats: cheesy, corny, terrible, laughable, stupid, and
hard-to-watch.
It's the Barney version of rock 'n' roll that reeks of bad acting. Michael Wright is the only one who gives a
decent performance. No wonder why Robert Townsend, a name I hadn't heard in years, fell off the map.
All in all, The Five Heartbeats has no pulse.
Fixed Bayonets! (1951)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
Fixed Bayonets! is an okay, simplistic war film.
Gene Evans of The Steel Helmet fame is the biggest reason why it has a pulse. Sure, war
is hell, and fighting is tough. Leaders are needed to guide the men through. However, the rest of the cast including Richard
Basehart are forgettable. Believe it or not, Fixed Bayonets! marks the first film appearance for James Dean; although it's
hard to tell, you can see him running at the end until he joins two men to look at the river.
The script is passable, but the cheap-looking wintry environment is weird given it takes place during the Korean War and nobody
breathes cold air. Ditto for stepping into the freezing cold puddle when they should be avoiding it completely. I was going
to say, "What about the feet?" But Samuel Fuller surprised me by having all soldiers rub them together with socks and
shoes off.
All in all, an inferior continuation of The Steel Helmet, Fixed Bayonets! is fine
for what it is.
The Flame and the Arrow (1950)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/21
5/21:
The Flame and the Arrow is an Italian Robin Hood hokum film.
The best (read that as "only") part is Burt Lancaster. I don't think anyone can name me an A-list star who's
capable of rivaling his unbelievable athleticism. Several highlights are catching Nick Cravat in the
air, coming off a bough in a somersault fashion, and perching himself on a thirty-foot high pole.
Unfortunately, nothing else works. For a quarter of the time, I'm forced to watch Burt Lancaster's buddy make a fool out of
himself by using gestures. Yeah, Virginia Mayo is beautiful, but that's a heavy load of makeup on her face. She even wears
it while imprisoned, having been shackled by the neck for days in the mountains.
The dialogue is okay but is dated. It's the plot that doesn't flow, giving me a hard time to decide where
the heck the movie is going. Finally, it's about rescuing the boy, but why not grab him overnight? Dardo
can easily be a night prowler by using his trapeze skills. Instead, there's a lot of fluff in between.
Kirk Douglas may be a famous centenarian, but Norman Lloyd, who plays the trambadour in the film, lived to 106. He
passed away last November. On the other hand, Burt Lancaster and Nick Cravat used to work together in circus shows, hence
their perfect stunts in tandem.
All in all, Burt Lancaster is the only reason why The Flame and the Arrow is watchable.
Flashback (1990)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/15
12/15:
Because Dennis Hopper is in Flashback and it involves many 60's themes, there's an Easy Rider feel going on.
As much as I want to like the movie, it's ludicrous at times, especially the idea of Kiefer Sutherland's
FBI agent character being a flower child who ran away from the commune because he was ashamed of his parents.
Then, to create a coincidence by pairing him with a notorious yet idolized hippie who did something harmless, which is a lot
less criminal than the actions of The Weather Underground, is going too far. One of the better parts is the
tandem of Michael McKean and Richard Masur. They aren't bad. Obviously, their characters should have been sent to prison
for a long time.
All in all, Dennis Hopper fans will like Flashback.
Flashdance (1983)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
5/05, 12/07
5/05:
What a great audition scene in Flashdance that was performed by Marine Jahan, Sharon Shapiro, and Richard
"Crazy Legs" Colón.
Wait a minute. Who are they? Go back to the film and replay the scene. But this time, do it in slow motion. If you look
at Jennifer Beals' face more closely, you'll realize it's not really her. Don't be surprised if you see a man with a
mustache at one point.
Yep, it was the biggest controversy. Regardless, the film was rewarded with an Oscar nomination for film editing. And the
story did not end there. Jennifer Beals claimed she performed the dancing for all scenes in order to get Tom Selleck's
attention who had a thing for dancers.
Anyway, there's no plot during Flashdance which inexplicably became a smash hit in 1983. It's a one big nothing,
but the dancing is great and the music is fantastic.
All in all, buy the soundtrack, but skip the film for Flashdance.
12/07:
My head still shakes after seeing Flashdance again.
All in all, Flashdance is silly.
Flashpoint (1984)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
1/24
1/24:
Unlike Executive Action, Flashpoint is a banal neo-noir film that
involves a very small connection to the JFK assassination.
When the revelation was made, it's hardly a surprise. The rest of the way is a lot of bitching and "easy
there, partner" reminders by Treat Williams and Kris Kristofferson, respectively. One dies, and the other survives to avenge his
death. The end comes which is done well by Rip Torn. As a reward, the lone survivor gets to keep $800,000. Or maybe it should've
been left alone in the first place?
It's true that people connected to the JFK assassination wound up dead. But why is the FBI involved? Shouldn't it
be the CIA instead? Also, I'm surprised to see the headlights are still functional after twenty years buried in the
ground. Meanwhile, Treat Williams and Kris Kristofferson (I didn't know he was a muscular dude) are fine; they do what they can
despite the slow pace.
All in all, if you're crazy about the JFK assassination stuff, Flashpoint might do, but it's a dull movie.
Flat Foot Stooges (1938)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
The short films by the Three Stooges are starting to resemble Charlie Chaplin's dreadful crap closely.
All in all, there's no hope anymore.
Flatliners (1990)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/07
7/07:
A film that boasts of having a cast which includes Kiefer Sutherland, Julia Roberts, William Baldwin, Oliver Platt,
and Kevin Bacon would seem to be a good one.
Unfortunately, that's not the case for Flatliners. The best performance, which is the only one, is given by Kevin Bacon.
Without him, things would have been much worse. Although the plot is stimulating, the intelligence is at an all-time low.
It's been Kiefer Sutherland with lots of style.
In fact, Kiefer Sutherland should place his hands firmly on two huge metal bars attached to an electrical equipment
only to be shocked by 10,000 volts, forcing him to yell with his vampirish eyes popping out: "Today is a good day to die!"
That would have been a great movie moment. In fact, I would pay money to watch him to do it.
You've seen many times in movies and TV shows when paddles hooked up to a defibrillator are used to jump-start the heart. In
reality, they don't make the body to jump a few inches above the gurney involuntarily. Seeing it done repeatedly in
Flatliners is akin to pumping up the level of suspense to give the movie some life. Also, when a person slips into a
coma, it's not unusual for him to come out of it partially, if not totally, brain damaged. So, there's no reason to
experience death for fun.
All in all, Flatliners flatlines.
Flesh and Bone (1993)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
4/18, 12/18
4/18:
Combine Texas, sins of the past, and evil James Caan, and you will find a terrific yarn in Flesh and Bone.
Dennis Quaid turns in another exceptional performance, and he makes the story work by portraying an
emotionally damaged character with a past. When James Caan shows up, watch out. He and Dennis Quaid both take the film to
another level, making it more eerily haunting. I have to say Gwyneth Paltrow does an excellent job of stealing scenes
when she appears. Her character is a typical nihilist with a "whatever" attitude.
Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan made three films together: Innerspace, D.O.A., and Flesh and Bone. The last one
is the best of their oeuvre as a pair. As far as Meg Ryan's acting goes in this, she's okay but nothing special.
All in all, thanks to Dennis Quaid and James Caan, Flesh and Bone is a can't-miss dark neo-noir thriller about
broken, complex characters.
12/18:
Flesh and Bone is an underrated psychological thriller with fantastic performances by Dennis Quaid, James Caan,
and Gwyneth Paltrow.
The story goes a long way with terrific lines, but watch Dennis Quaid's facial expressions and you can almost tell what
he's thinking. James Caan is super evil and proves what a great actor he has been for decades. He takes the
film to another level and has a powerful line, "You see, you and me...we're flesh and bone."
Gwyneth Paltrow's incallous indifference is something else. Hence, she should have been nominated for an Academy Award.
By the way, notice Arlis Sweeney's thieving employee. He's played by Scott Wilson who's famous for playing one of the two
killers in Truman Capote's In Cold Blood.
All in all, Flesh and Bone is one of the finest films made.
Flesh for Frankenstein (1973)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
11/13
11/13:
After watching Blood for Dracula, I went straight to Flesh for Frankenstein.
Naturally enough, my expectations were high, but I've always preferred Dracula over Frankenstein. Just as I expected,
Flesh for Frankenstein is boring, and it doesn't have the same verve as Blood for Dracula.
Joe Dallesandro and Udo Kier are the only actors worth watching, but they alone can't save the film. Arno Juerging was a lot
better in the other one. Luckily, everybody learned his lesson from Flesh for Frankenstein to improve the viewing
experience for Blood for Dracula.
All in all, Flesh for Frankenstein is another dull Frankenstein picture.
Fletch (1985)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/03, 11/05
11/05:
I don't see what makes Fletch funny.
Then again, Chevy Chase wasn't much of a comedian. Having lived through the 80's, I know he was funny, but now, after
looking back at his stuff, they haven't stood the test of time.
At least, there's one particular scene that made me laugh out loud. It's when Chevy Chase saw the names of the doctors,
starting with Rosen, and then was asked by the receptionist for his name. He tried out different names including Dr.
Rosenpenis.
All in all, Fletch doesn't work anymore.
The Floorwalker (1916)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
10/07
10/07:
The Floorwalker caused me to yawn a lot, and my mind was wandering so much that I had no idea what the film short
was all about.
All in all, Charlie Chaplin was full of shit.
Flowers in the Attic (1987)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/11
7/11:
I remember how shocking Flowers in the Attic was when it was theatrically released.
Watching it again last night brought back memories for me. It's almost a masterpiece except for
one minor problem. How fucking stupid can the children be??? So, Christopher will become a medical doctor. My butt. The boy
is so moronic that he should be slinging hash browns at McDonald's. Obviously, I would have known things were becoming
seriously wrong while being locked up in a room for a few days.
Notice how the door opens to the inside of the room. The children should have unloosened the pins from the hinges and removed
the door to make their escape. Anyway, why doesn't the mother get a job to support the children? Single mothers do that all the
time. It's a time-honored American tradition. Despite the plot's idiocy, I still like the film for its dark nature, and that
sort of thing does happen nowadays. At the same time, Louise Fletcher gives a great villainous performance.
All in all, Flowers in the Attic is highly memorable.
The Fog (1980)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/04, 4/07
4/07:
The Fog has an excellent story with a so-so buildup, only to be met with a disappointing ending.
The acting is fair, but Adrienne Barbeau is a mistake. I'm not surprised her career didn't last long. I wish Jamie Lee Curtis
had more to work with. But it's nice to see her and Janet Leigh together in the same film. Tom Atkins is great as always.
He's fun to watch.
All in all, John Carpenter could have done more to make The Fog a better horror picture.
Footloose (1984)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/06
5/06:
What a cheesy movie Footloose is.
I challenge anyone to see Chris Penn's dancing without cringing. It's god-awful. Even worse is the fashion which makes the
film hopelessly dated. The young Kevin Bacon, in his first major leading role, gives a decent performance, showing enough
evidence to become a star.
One aspect I like is the conservative man controlling his town through religion. It does make an interesting study of
how far is too far and when to let it go for good by making way for change.
All in all, Footloose will never be able to shed the corny 80's look.
For Love of Ivy (1968)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
2/22
2/22:
Sidney Poitier is timeless in For Love of Ivy, but it's really bad movie that's subtly racist, bringing back
the days of plantation thinking.
The biggest problem is approach. It's interesting the story was originated by Sidney Poitier, but the whole white dilemma
has to G...O. I have no problems with the romance between Jack and Ivy which is, in fact, the best thing the movie has
going. Abbey Lincoln said her character was 27. Ha! She was clearly old-looking which turns out to be 38.
It's obvious what the problem is: a family of stupid white people are helpless and are just conning Ivy the black maid into
staying by pretending to be her friends while blackmailing a black man to help them out because of his illegal gambling
operation. The reality is they're using her in order to keep everything running smoothly as before. Honestly, I wish this
pretext was dropped by finding something else more suitable while keeping the romance plot intact. That's why
For Love of Ivy hasn't aged well.
Sidney Poitier can act in any decade while Abbey Lincoln looks raw. It's weird to see Beau Bridges as the hippie matchmaker
and a thin one at that. Carroll O'Connor may have not known it at that time he was going to fill Rod Steiger's mighty big shoes
successfully for the TV show In the Heat of the Night. In the third and final film of her career, Lauri Peters was
once married to Jon Voight, but she's not Angelina Jolie's mother.
All in all, fix the approach, and there might be a winner in For Love of Ivy.
For Queen & Country (1989)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
2/19
2/19:
It should be obvious to anyone in 1988 upon seeing For Queen & Country that Denzel Washington had the makings of a
bona fide movie star.
Never mind the fact that he looks completely out of place in Thatcherite England and is not even remotely a Briton.
What matters the most is he's the center of attention from start to finish. That's why the unfocused
neo-noir film survived in spite of the silly ending with nothing else to offer.
I wish I can say Denzel Washington is superlative, but unfortunately, he's not. In fact, it's probably the most formulaic
of his approach to acting. That's not a bad thing because he's fun to watch.
All in all, Denzel Washington stars in an English picture that seems to be meant for Daniel Day-Lewis.
For Your Eyes Only (1981)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/11
2/11:
Aaah! My eyes are hurting now!
To be honest with you, I finished watching For Your Eyes Only four days ago, and while typing the review right now,
I can't, for the life of me, remember what the movie was about. I'm taking a gander at the trailer for some wee help to
refresh my memory. Oh, yes. Okay. All I see is skiing. There are also flying, driving, and scuba diving scenes but nothing
that I haven't seen before. I mean, when are they going to come up with new material?
I'm surprised at one point when James Bond turned down the figure skater's offer when she practically "threw" herself
on him. Probably the producers didn't want to offend the viewers in regard to the age difference. But the real James Bond
would have gone for it because he's such a major poon hound. Anyway, how about the villain: Loqcue? He never spoke a word
during the entire time. Maybe he might be interested in a game of charades, hm?
All in all, For Your Eyes Only, Roger Moore's final James Bond picture, goes around the same block for the
umpteenth time.
Forbrydelsens element (1984)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
10/14
10/14:
The filmmakers really put in a lot of effort to make the cinematography look unusual and different for
Forbrydelsens element.
But unfortunately, the rest of everything else is utterly rubbish and pretentious. It's also artsy-fartsy which is backed by an
insipid, sleep-inducing screenplay. I can make neither heads nor tails what the hell the story is supposed to be about.
In fact, the Danish movie is alternatively titled The Element of Crime when The Elements of a Bad Movie would make
more sense, being something that Amos Poe could have directed. In a vain attempt to keep me awake, they decide to throw
in gratuitous nudity which is happily supplied by Me Me Lai. That's no joke, only she forgot to add the letter "d" at
the end of her last name.
All in all, when a film is part of the Criterion Collection, it often means either "overrated" or "really, really, really bad."
Force of Evil (1948)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/14
3/14:
Force of Evil is an unconvincing movie.
Although John Garfield gives a virtuoso acting performance, everybody else is underwhelming and overwhelmed by him at the
same time. Ditto for the supposed romance between John Garfield's character and Doris. I've seen better fake wooing than that.
The story is muddled and hard to follow. Perhaps I'll have to be born during that era to understand it well enough. As confused as
I am, after not seeing his brother for many years, why would Joe Morse suddenly care about him? Of all the characters, I
don't know who the hell I'm supposed to rooting for. At least, it's well-photographed and looks very nice in black and white.
All in all, what kills Force of Evil is the constant detachment throughout.
Forces of Nature (1999)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
3/08
3/08:
I should have known it.
Looking at the title Forces of Nature on the DVD cover and then up to see who the stars are, the disclaimer "Caveat
Lector" should have been inserted right in the middle of these two. Then, at below, a critic called it: "Outrageously funny!"
Oh, really? Then, my middle finger is very extended at his face to show him what I think of the movie.
Forces of Nature is one of the worst films I've seen in my life. I hate, hate Sandra Bullock, and she ruins almost
everything. I just can't stand her. Ben Affleck wants to show off to the world that he's a good-looking guy,
but I think acting ability is a necessity for him in order to stay relevant in the profession.
This one is basically Planes, Trains & Automobiles meets Sandra Bullock. She and Ben have zero chemistry. Watching them
interact with each other, I've been like, "What the fuck?" Who the hell stops by at South of the Border, which is an ugly
landfill dump of garbage attractions that's located in Dillon, South Carolina? I had been through I-95 many
times, but not once, no matter how many billboard advertisements I saw, did I ever get off there. And since when is
K-Mart a cool place?
All in all, Forces of Nature is an emphatic no.
Foreign Correspondent (1940)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/07
3/07:
Having seen The 39 Steps plenty of times, Foreign Correspondent seems a remake.
The performances are shoddy. Laraine Day gets on my nerves. Joel McCrea is an eh. The story is inept, and there are many
boring scenes with too much dialogue.
However, there's one thing I like. It's when the plane was shot down by a German U-boat before crashing. Using the bird's-eye
view, Alfred Hitchcock shows how small the passengers are compared to the sea.
All in all, skip Foreign Correspondent for The 39 Steps.
Forever Mine (1999)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
11/18
11/18:
Sometimes, there are movies that make it virtually impossible for me to suspend my disbelief, and Forever Mine is one
of them.
This would occur the first moment that Esquema/Alan Riply showed up at the doorstep and Ella Brice didn't recognize him. How
can it be if she slept with probably two men in her lifetime? Had Esquema turned his head sideways to show off his unscarred
face, he would look exactly the same as he did in Miami about fifteen years earlier.
Initially picking up Forever Mine just for Ray Liotta, he barely makes waves and is rather tame. Instead, it's all
Joseph Fiennes who's obviously mimicking Robert De Niro's mannerisms from The Godfather Part II. Somewhere along the
way, Gretchen Mol, whose character never ages for a minute after fifteen years, makes her beauty known. Once upon a time, Vincent
Laresca was Radames in Juice.
In the meantime, everybody tries hard to make me believe the setting takes place during the 70's or the 80's, but it never
works. The storyline is redundant, and the plot twist is impossible to swallow.
All in all, c'mon, Paul Schrader...you can do better than this, having written well-regarded screenplays for
American Gigolo and Raging Bull.
Forget Paris (1995)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/03, 11/11
11/11:
Forget Paris works well when it comes to the narration of a love story, but the movie is uneven throughout.
The idea of Billy Crystal and Debra Winger in the same film sounds great except for one problem: besides making her laugh,
what else is there about him? That's why Forget Paris doesn't work. There are many attempts at jokes. I'll say, for
every five of them, two did make me laugh.
All in all, the title says it all: Forget Paris.
The Formula (1980)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/08
2/08:
Name the film that features two actors who famously refused their Oscars.
It's The Formula with Marlon Brando and George C. Scott. While watching it, I wondered if the former was using an
earpiece, so somebody could feed him the lines he's supposed to say. Well, I was right after all.
Although it's a low point for the esteemed actor, does it matter? Nah, Marlon Brando is just pretending to be somebody else in
the movie. However, there's a lot of fumbling around when he speaks, using halting and choppy sentences. I can barely
follow what he's saying. Every time he lets out "uh" or "you know," I've mostly forgotten what he was talking about.
George C. Scott isn't bad, but he seems unsure of having made the right decision to be involved with
the film. As for the rest of everything else, nothing works.
All in all, The Formula should not have been made in the first place.
Forrest Gump (1994)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/03, 5/24
5/24:
I thought I would check out Forrest Gump again after not seeing it in twenty years.
What blew me away in 1994 were Gary Sinise with no legs and Tom Hanks on screen with famous dead people. So, I had to
check out the DVD special features to discover how they did it. That's why Ken Ralston, George Murphy, Stephen Rosenbaum,
and Allen Hall won the Oscar for Best Visual Effects. I wish the MLK segment with the German Shepherd dogs was kept in the
film because that one is amusing.
There's no question Tom Hanks gave an iconic James Stewart-like performance. I can't see John Travolta, the original choice
who turned down the role, playing Forrest Gump, so it's a good thing he did
Pulp Fiction instead which should've resulted in Best Actor Oscar. But was I annoyed
by Forrest Gump? That, I have to say no. It's rather the unbelievability of the whole thing with him not understanding the
significance of what just happened which is the biggest reason for my '9' rating when it's a really '10' picture all the
way through. I'm ignoring the IQ crap because it's pure manipulation on the filmmakers' part and not compatible with facts.
As for the supporting performances, I find most of them weak. Gary Sinise got Oscar-nominated as Lieutenant Dan? He's just
okay, but it's funny when Gary Sinise mentioned the astronaut stuff because he would star in
Apollo 13 with Tom Hanks again. Robin Wright is blah as Jenny who happens to be a total
wannabe loser which is weird since the whole movie is about Forrest Gump dedicating his life to her. That means Jenny
never knew how good she could've had it if she stayed with him right from the beginning. When it comes to her death, I'm
sure it's Hepatitis C, not AIDS, because of her intravenous drug abuse history, but it's unrealistic because she should
be wasting away first before finally dying.
All in all, Forrest Gump is undoubtedly outstanding, but
The Shawshank Redemption is the true Best Picture winner of 1994.
Fort Apache, The Bronx (1981)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/18
3/18:
Fort Apache, The Bronx is a fair but gritty film that's about the police (cowboys) handling black and Hispanic
criminals (Indians) in the Bronx where the 41st Precinct (Fort Apache) is located.
If it wasn't for Paul Newman who's 56 at that time, the movie, having a made-for-TV feel, would have died at the box office.
He's mostly okay, but there isn't a strong plot to begin with. If I'm surprised by anything, it's Rachel Ticotin's character
who's a heroin addict. Why would a pretty girl like her dabble in something like that? Go be a model for a living.
All in all, Fort Apache, The Bronx is strictly for die-hard Paul Newman fans.
Foul Play (1978)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/11
6/11:
I hate Hitchcock ripoffs that feature a character who's suddenly in grave danger after discovering a nefarious assassination
plot.
And I hate films showing characters on the run for a long time as nothing happens. That's exactly how
Foul Play plays out. What an awful movie. Once in a while, it has a laugh-out moment, but really, I was trying to laugh
because I had expected a comedy.
Goldie Hawn is boring, can't act, and has no talent for comedy. The fact is: the tan, blond hair, and blue eyes got her far in
Hollywood. Looking at Goldie Hawn's nipples through her clothing in Foul Play, it's evident she wasn't wearing a bra.
Chevy Chase is useless. His tan also got him very far in Hollywood. Burgess Meredith seems to have lost his mind by
trying to imitate Bruce Lee, for goodness' sake. The biggest stinker of all is Dudley Moore who adds nothing of value.
Meanwhile, I've been thinking for a while if you put a can of mace, a voice squealer, and brass knuckles in a bag, what
good are they if you can't reach inside for them? Similarly, when Gloria is caught and held hostage in a room, why leave the
bag with her? It doesn't make any sense. Additionally, intelligence is at rock bottom during the final fifteen minutes for the
following reasons.
One, when Gerda Casswell held Gloria and Tony captive, she would proceed to reveal the entire assassination plot to them.
I was like, "What for?" Two, after their release, why would Gloria and Tony bother going through the driving when
he should have simply made a phone call to his superior and informed him of what's going on ahead of time? Three, at the opera,
what's the Pope doing there, watching the show, where the assassination is going to take place? Idiots...get him out of there!
All in all, I call foul on Foul Play.
Four Friends (1981)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
4/20
4/20:
Four Friends is a major disappointment considering it was directed by Arthur Penn.
I was kind of hoping to see something that's along the lines of Return of the Secaucus 7 and The Big Chill,
but nope. Now, I can see why I had never heard of this impactless picture.
For starters, Four Friends is bland and episodic to be put together as a cohesive whole. The cast has no
chemistry to speak of. A lot of times, there's zero understanding in the scenes; they just come and go.
Craig Wasson acts goofy throughout. Michael Huddleston and Jim Metzler play nobodies. Jodi Thelen looks to be on the verge
of being special but quickly becomes tiresome. As Louie, Reed Birney is the only one who's any good, and the whole
thing with his sister is the most interesting part of the film.
All in all, The Missouri Breaks is when Arthur Penn lost his directorial touch permanently.
The Four Musketeers (1974)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/11
11/11:
Damn.
The Four Musketeers...really? D'Artagnan had never received the honor during the middle of the entire saga but rather
to get it at the END.
Jeez, what the heck am I seeing in the film? It's all garbage to me. I admit the plot does stay on the true path, but it
has many detours which are not one percent of what the book was about.
It also fails to depict the following virtues: honor, integrity, nobility, discretion, courage, loyalty, romance, justice,
and esprit de corps. What I saw instead is a demonstration of total ineptness. Whoever made the casting decisions should
never work in Hollywood again. And ditto for Richard Lester who's one of the worst directors ever. Honestly, how can anyone
see D'Artagnan in Michael York? You must be joking me.
All in all, the cinematography saves The Four Musketeers from appearing on my Worst Films List.
Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/09
2/09:
After the slow start during the first half hour, Four Weddings and a Funeral picks up the momentum by executing the
comedic aspects in a fluid manner, allowing the charm to win me over for good.
Andie MacDowell is a beautiful-looking woman, and her screen presence is unbelievably natural. It's keen to notice
how she went from a timid housewife in Sex, Lies, and Videotape to a dominating American in this.
Charlotte Coleman is pretty as the red-haired Scarlett. Hugh Grant is terrific, and he has the knack for showing
off his boyishness personality. Kristin Scott Thomas is also excellent, and so is the rest of the everybody else. What
chemistry they have.
My favorite is the dialogue. It's quite good in a simple way. The cinematography is pleasantly done with wonderful location
shots in England and Scotland. It's interesting to see how the British signs look different from ASL although both operate
within the English language. As for the film, there are two serious problems.
One is the first thirty minutes. It was not working well, and I thought some scenes were poorly done
where everybody was trying to be funny on purpose. Luckily, things started to improve when Mr. Bean broke the
ice with his absolutely silly vicar performance. This brings up an observation: why so much of Simon Callow but little of Rowan
Atkinson? Two is lack of character development. I don't get to know Andie MacDowell's that much. She just
shows up and disappears from time to time. The same goes for some of the others.
All in all, no matter what the negatives are, Four Weddings and a Funeral is a charmer.
Fourteen Hours (1951)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/16
2/16:
Henry Hathaway, famed for showing realism, does it again by delivering Fourteen Hours that's gripping to watch.
The premise is so simple that I'm surprised the producers decided to go ahead with it. For the most part, the
film works. Yes, I know...the story is hysterically funny, and I died laughing through some parts, especially the ones with
Agnes Moorehead and the psychologist trying to explain away the young man's troubles.
Richard Basehart, who had to stand on the ledge for over 300 hours through fifty days of shooting, gives an impressive
performance by showing appropriate emotion at the right time. Paul Douglas is perfect as the no-nonsense cop who pretends to
be affable, so he can finally reel in the potential suicide jumper before getting back to his job. It's kind of like Marty
meets Marty, two pathetic poor slobs who have nothing going for themselves.
As a minor note, Grace Kelly makes her screen debut and plays a character who undergoes the divorce proceedings which is
hard to believe given her beauty. Then again, she was infamous for whoring around in Hollywood before being shipped off to
Monaco.
All in all, despite the excessive attention shown to the wannabe suicide jumper, Fourteen Hours is entertaining.
Foxfire (1955)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
Many times, it's hard to watch an old movie, and afterwards, I'll be like, "That's it?"
That's Foxfire in a nutshell despite the occasional nice photography of Arizona which was done in Kingman and Oatman.
In fact, it's the final film to be shot in three-strip Technicolor. Most of my rating of '4' is solely due to Jane Russell.
She sure can dominate the screen, but the swarthy-looking, silver-haired Jeff Chandler is a loser.
Of course, Jane Russell didn't do it on her own as she had a team of a make-up artist, a hairstylist, a gown designer, and
so on which are listed extensively in the opening screen credits. I don't mind, but it's weird to see Jane Russell looking
so glamorous in a shanty town like Lodestone where the poverty level has to be in the 99th percentile.
The tagline on the movie poster is misleading despite the stars embracing each other: "Jane's Got Jeff." Nothing like that occurs
in Foxfire. It's mostly Jonathan Dartland pushing Amanda away, making me wonder if he's the biggest idiot in the state.
Most guys would be lucky to be married to her if it only took one day of courtship, and she did all of the work. Who cares about
the mine? She already has money. It's Jonathan's golden ticket out.
As for the story, well...there isn't any. Dan Duryea plays a useless character after teasing so much of being a potential plot
device down the road. Nothing of that sort happens. Since his female assistant is half Indian, won't it make sense for her and
Jonathan to be together since they have a lot in common? Anyway, seeing nearly all of the white thespians be Indian-faced
is extremely disappointing. Amanda's visit to Jonathan's mother is pointless. So is learning about his Indian ancestry.
All in all, Jane Russell is the only reason to check out Foxfire because of how she looks and the dresses she wears.
Framed (1990)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/14
8/14:
Billed as a comedy, Framed never lives up to the expectations.
Yes, I notice them at the beginning, but that's it. Jeff Goldblum, who sports a nice, long black hair, is too quiet; he needs
more dialogue. Kristin Scott Thomas is blah. The black FBI agent (or whoever the hell he is) is annoying. Although the
story is interesting and has potential, A Fish Called Wanda should be seen instead.
All in all, I wish Framed was funny.
Francesco (1989)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
7/18
7/18:
Well, Mickey Rourke did it again: deliver a powerful performance during the 80's.
This time, it's for Francesco, a film in his oeuvre I had completely overlooked. Chariots of Fire's Vangelis
provides the musical score. It's an inspiring movie about Francis of Assissi, the patron saint of animals and the
environment. He founded a Christian religious order called Franciscan and was thereafter canonized as a saint for his devotion
to God by expressing his love for all of God's creation, caring for the poor and sick including those with leprosy, and
preaching sermons to animals.
Modern hair and all, Mickey Rourke starts off as stiff and not looking naturally blended in with the environs, especially in
a foreign film. He slowly wins me over by getting into his character with frank realism. That's why when I think of top actors
of the 80's, Mickey Rourke immediately comes to my mind.
It's the narration by St. Francis' followers and the unconventional shoots that got my attention. While watching
it, I was thinking of how badly Derek Jarman bungled it for Caravaggio while trying to tell the story of a tortured artist.
By the way, in 1995 to celebrate 100 years of cinema, the Vatican compiled a list of 45 great films which were divided into
three categories: religion, values, and art. Francesco was among chosen for religion.
All in all, Francesco tells the story of St. Francis of Assissi's evolution from a rich merchant's son
to a full-fledged saint while showcasing some of the best acting from Mickey Rourke.
Frankenstein (1931)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
What a bore.
Frankenstein was a masterpiece all the way until the end of the "It's Alive!" scene. Soon thereafter, it fell
apart. Luckily, the whole thing is only 71 minutes long. Sure, there's some sensitivity in Boris Karloff's eyes, but
that's it when it comes to what he could do for the part. Nevertheless, he looks cool playing the monster.
The throwing of Herr Frankenstein onto the windmill leaves him alive afterwards. That's impossible. How did the villagers
know he had created a monster? Should it be kept as a secret to avoid a worldwide scandal?
All in all, Frankenstein needs a better director to do it justice.
Frankie & Johnny (1991)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
3/24
3/24:
Frankie & Johnny is a strange choice for Al Pacino.
For starters, he had never done a romantic film hitherto. On the other hand, it's a play that gave him another chance to star opposite
Michelle Pfeiffer after their work together in Scarface. However, it's impossible
to overlook their eighteen-year age difference.
Now, remember I mentioned the word "play"? It's the film's downfall atop the long running time of two hours. Because
of the lines and the acting, it's been corny. Yet everything is held together, if tenuously, despite the main stars showing
little chemistry.
Al Pacino is mostly good but can be creepy-looking at times while Michelle Pfeiffer is okay. Her character acting
standoffish won't be understood for the longest time. Once the revelation came, I was like, "So...that's why!" But still,
it doesn't make the film any better or more meaningful. What's hard to believe is that she was okay with Johnny having a one-night
stand with one of her co-workers. Gross.
All in all, Frankie & Johnny is an all-around weird movie because it's about the latter forcing a relationship on the former.
Frantic (1988)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/17
2/17:
Carrying on the tradition of Hitchcockian thrillers, Frantic is the last good Roman Polanski film and a satisfying
one at that.
Not many people give Harrison Ford credit for being a fine actor, especially in dramas, that he was throughout the 80's and
90's. His performance in Frantic is among his best. Roman Polanski's soon-to-be wife, Emmanuelle Seigner, is good, too,
although she's historically a terrible actress as evidenced in Bitter Moon. She's more of a model than anything.
It's the story that grips me the most, and there are many suspenseful moments, reminding me of North by Northwest with
Cary Grant. Something that's missing in many mystery films, I like how a small piece of puzzle that leads to the next one, and
there's nothing fancy about any of them, allowing me to participate with the characters.
I love it when the setting takes place in Paris (which is a first for Roman since 1976 when he directed The Tenant)
and it's a multinational picture. The writing is well-done, and quality is obviously felt in all aspects of filmmaking.
One instance is Dr. Walker's inability to understand French, which is true of most American viewers, to give the picture
a mysterious feel. As strange as it sounds, I think Dr. Walker and Michelle are perfect together, so why bother with the
wife? It's time to trade in the old hag for a younger, better-looking woman.
All in all, Frantic is a must-see film for all fans of Roman Polanski with the promise of no letdowns.
Freaks (1932)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/14
2/14:
Freaks is an unusual picture and deserves a place in any Cult Films List.
However, it's not a good movie because the plot is commonplace and not all that interesting. Basically, Freaks
is a sideshow of freaks, and there's nothing made up about these misfortunate people. When I get over the sight of them, the
novelty wears off fast. Thankfully, it's only one hour long which is good enough for me.
All in all, Freaks gets my attention for the specimen but ultimately loses me by everything else.
Freaky Friday (1976)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/22
2/22:
When I thought Freaky Friday was going to be a nice Disney movie, it turns out to be otherwise.
Because of the rapid, talky voice-over narration, I got lost during the first ten minutes, not knowing what's going on. Then,
the lead characters had their bodies switched which led to a slowdown in the pace and, in turn, a substantial increase in
coherence. I tried to like Freaky Friday, but it's old, disturbing, and stupid all rolled into one. The last twenty
minutes is overdone.
Despite what everybody says, this is not the first body swap movie in the history of cinema: it's, to the best of my knowledge,
The Man Who Changed His Mind which was made in 1936 with Boris Karloff and Anna Lee. There was another that's close: a
1940 picture called Turnabout. No matter, Freaky Friday gets the credit for spawning many imitations.
There's an important concept that's called comic timing. Jodie Foster absolutely does not have it. It's apparent when you watch
TV sitcoms like The Honeymooners, Seinfeld, and Saved by the Bell. That's why these shows are funny and
timeless. But Jodie Foster? She keeps going off the mark consistently by rushing through every moment, hence the missed
opportunities for maximum comedic effect. Why is that? My guess is: Jodie Foster barely rehearsed.
On the other hand, Barbara Harris isn't bad herself. She's cute much of the time which is the film's saving grace. It's
the stupidity of the material that keeps letting her down. For example, why is she, all of a sudden, involved in the
baseball game for kids? What's with the ickiest scene of them all: she, a grown mother of two, hitting on a high
school boy? I thought this was a Disney movie. Ditto for the constant cigarette and alcohol references.
It goes without saying if they aren't going to do the stunts, there's no reason to cast them or, better yet, stage these
activities. That's when Freaky Friday shoots itself in the foot big time by using rear projection whenever Jodie
Foster and Babrara Harris are waterskiing or parasailing. I know it's not Barbara Harris, but her stunt double looks like
Norman Bates dressed up as his own mother. It's bizarre, and...I thought this was a Disney movie.
The field hockey game is the most violent I've ever witnessed. Jodie Foster is getting intentionally hit all over the body by
sticks. What's with the female coaches yelling like wild animals as if winning is everything? Watching the husband dish
out commands to his wife to do this and that, I thought it might be a big topic to talk about at the end, but nope. By the way,
was he cheating on her with the secretary? Again, I thought this was a Disney movie. Also, who schedules many activities
in one day? Annabel sure has a lot of fake friends.
All in all, practically a fossil by now, Freaky Friday doesn't come across well as a message picture or a
Disney movie for that matter.
Freaky Friday (2003)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/08
6/08:
Freaky Friday is not recommended for children due to sexual overtones.
Although I admit the charm had somewhat won me over, it's still done in poor taste. I mean, Freaky Friday is
a Disney movie, and Disney movies are supposed to be about wholesome, family fun.
The use of the word "thong" is inappropriate, and the flash shot of Jamie Lee Curtis baring a bit of her panties from the rear
is one step away from introducing kids to pornography. Lindsey Lohan's preference of attire and how much skin to show off is
appalling to see. I don't care if times have changed, but this is no way appropriate for teenagers while in grade school.
As for the subplot of an underage boy who's in love with a female classmate's mother, I must remind you all again this
is supposed to be a Disney film. Notwithstanding the egregious parts, the performances aren't bad, but the
concept is nothing new. Judge Reinhold and Fred Savage did it already in Vice Versa. Thrown into the mix is a touch
of Home Alone or Uncle Buck, both created by John Hughes, when the bratty kid has a change of heart after
dealing with her frustrated parent.
Anyway, Jamie Lee Curtis is a treat to watch, and Mark Harmon is great as usual. Ah, now the star (not): Lindsey
Lohan. Hm, I don't know anything much about her except for the fact that she had been plastered all over the front
cover of tabloid magazines countless times. But man, she's ugly. What's with her raccoon eyes? Anyway, Lohan's
performance is okay, but she mostly plays it safe. After being switched, Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsey
Lohan don't do a good job of mimicking each other's mannerisms.
All in all, if the inappropriate parts could be cut out, Freaky Friday might be perfectly acceptable for kids.
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/03, 7/18
7/18:
I remember when Freddy Got Fingered came out, just about every news channel ripped the film into pieces which was
eviscerating.
Since then, they don't pay attention to cinema anymore, no matter how awful the films have become. That's why
Freddy Got Fingered deserves a mention as one of the most famous bad films of all time, solidifying Tom Green's
infamy for life. This is my second time seeing it, and I think the critic of The New York Times may have a point after
calling it "Brilliant!" However, I wouldn't go so far as to think the same, but it's certainly inventive, original, and very
funny.
What Freddy Got Fingered has going to separate itself from the pack is the number of crazy antics that scream the word
"outrageous." Tom Green keeps pushing the envelope further and further, threatening to touch the territory that's only
reserved for films like Pink Flamingos. The amount of blood and animal abuse, sexually and not, is when he finally
crossed the line between sanity and insanity.
Some of the best parts are Gord's pitches to Dave Davidson to launch a cartoon show, his relationship with Betty who's
crazy about rocket-powered wheelchairs and performing fellatios, Gord's battles with his father, the musical skit with
stringed sausages, and the Backwards Man scene. Notice Freddy watching a surgery operation on TV. It's the actual
footage of Tom Green's lymph node being removed due to testicular cancer.
All in all, had Tom Green toned down the animal abuse, Freddy Got Fingered might have come out looking better.
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
1/06
1/06:
It would have been cool to see Freddy and Jason duking it out during their heyday, but it's too late.
Nevertheless, Freddy vs. Jason is a bad horror film with a lot of made-for-TV feel that collapses mightily during
the 30-minute finale. The acting isn't good, but the cast is fed with decent lines.
As for the centerpiece, the supposedly epic battle between Jason and Freddy is so stupid that I've lost interest.
Freddy looks right but not Jason. I like the special effects, but the gore is already too much. If they focused on the
story more, the film would have turned out better.
All in all, I can wait for Michael Myers vs. Jason, so when is it not coming out?
Freddy's Dead:
The Final Nightmare (1991)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
9/06
9/06:
It's been so many times that Freddy Krueger had been killed, and now, this is the sixth film of the franchise.
Boy, I must be going out of my mind. But this time, I don't care anymore. I only watched Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
for the sake of finishing off the series. The verdict is in: the movie sucks. No fucking surprise.
Although the acting is greatly improved with a better set of characters, the plot makes no sense. It's hard for me to
believe people were genuinely interested in this crap. I've grown weary of hearing many reasons when it comes to
explaining away why Fred Krueger is Freddy the pizza-faced guy. In fact, I don't fucking care.
All in all, New Line Cinema should have stopped producing more Freddy movies after several parts.
Freedomland (2006)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/10
7/10:
Why must Samuel L. Jackson waste his time with films that feature rubbish stories?
Freedomland is such that. By the way, didn't he do the same thing in Basic with John Travolta? Film critic
Joel Siegel said: "It's his best work ever." Apparently, he has either suffered from total amnesia or not seen
Pulp Fiction before.
Julianne Moore solidifies her position more as one of the worst actresses ever. Look no further than her scene with Samuel L.
Jackson who's collapsing and wheezing while trying to fill ink into his stupid ballpoint pen. Another is when she's babbling
incessantly. I just wanted to slap the back of her head and tell her to shut the fuck up. Meanwhile, I must question the
ridiculous police procedure as portrayed in the film. It's impossible, illegal, and downright unconstitutional.
All in all, Freedomland is a pointless waste of time.
Freeway (1996)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
8/04, 4/15
8/04:
Provocative and unusual, Freeway is a delight to watch.
Many times, it's also in-your-face and pulls no punches. If anything, Reese Witherspoon's performance is the driving force
behind the success of the film. She's surrounded by many interesting characters, so it's easy for her to connect with them
and have engaging conversations.
Kiefer Sutherland's acting is better than usual and brings a level of creepiness to the show that's not seen often.
However, there's no suspense because Kiefer is so typecast that I knew his character was the bad guy, no matter how hard he
can avoid it.
When Vanessa showed the picture of her father to Bob, I knew who that was. It's Richard Speck, the notorious creepy mass
murderer from Chicago. There's a nice tie-in with Little Red Riding Hood which isn't a whole lot.
As a matter of fact, the association feels forced.
All in all, if there's a well-made film about white trash that's fun to watch, it's Freeway.
4/15:
Having viewed Freeway sometime in 1997, I saw how good of an actress Reese Witherspoon was.
Hence, I'm not surprised at her ascent to stardom. Much has been said about the parallels between Freeway and
Little Red Riding Hood, but I feel it's been overblown and not worth bothering about. Minus the red clothes, the red
basket which serves a red herring so to speak, the use of grandmother to advance the plot, and the implication of Bob's
last name, there's not enough evidence to link the two together because most of the plot revolves around how much of white
trash Vanessa Lutz is.
What I hate is the manipulation. There's no way in hell anyone accused of murder, who's presumably transported to another
detention center, stops at a convenience store for bathroom break and is led there without handcuffs on. After Vanessa murders
the police officer before escaping, where's the APB on her? Another thing I hate is the wife's mistreatment by the two
detectives. It's annoying to put up with. Unsurprisingly, it would lead to her suicide because these two can't look past
the notion of "she probably knew what was going on."
Back to acting, the performances are mostly excellent. Amanda Plummer gets the ball rolling as a believable drugged-out
prostitute. Kiefer Sutherland gives one of the better performances of his career; he looks credible as a psychologist by
the way he moves, talks, and listens. Reese Witherspoon can be over the top at times by displaying more range than usual.
The best part is her conversations with Kiefer in the SUV which are well-shot.
All in all, my rating of Freeway is downgraded from '9' to '6' because it moves slow, is manipulative during some
scenes, and can be ridiculous at times.
The French Connection (1971)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/03, 11/13
11/13:
The French Connection isn't what I was looking for from the Best Picture Winner of 1972.
I've been left hoping for more, perhaps some classic moments, but they don't come that often. Gene Hackman is okay, so is
Roy Scheider. Both are fine actors, and William Friedkin is a master director.
However, The French Connection is a 90-minute film of shadowing, car chasing, and sitting down. It's not
interesting to watch. Of course, the ending seems to ask if the effort has been worth the sacrifice.
All in all, The French Connection is a mediocre film, but William Friedkin would do better in
To Live and Die in L.A. which is more of a masterpiece.
French Connection II (1975)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/14
1/14:
As a sequel, French Connection II holds the rare distinction for being better than the original even though it was a
Best Picture winner.
The follow-up is more action-packed with the added international flavor as a bonus. Moreover, the performances are outstanding.
Gene Hackman was okay in the original, but he's way better here because his character is more real, human, and
funny. In fact, his anguished cry "Mickey Mantle sucks!" did make me laugh.
The best part is the ending which is a fitting finish for the long saga of The French Connection.
At the outset, as the opening credits rolled, when I saw who the director of the film was which is John Frankenheimer, my
expectations were immediately shot up. I knew I was going to be in for a ride because he could turn a movie with a seemingly
bland plot into a masterly crafted picture. Well, he did it again for French Connection II.
All in all, French Connection II is a thrilling picture with one of the best performances by Gene Hackman.
French Kiss (1995)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
9/06
9/06:
A talentless actress meets a talented actor.
It's the theme of French Kiss which is a stupid, unromantic picture.
Meg Ryan proves again she can't act because she has no clue of what to do. On the other hand, Kevin Kline saves the
picture from being a total waste. He's just great. If you look at the movie poster, it's Meg Ryan laughing after
Kevin Kline tells her off that she sucks in acting.
All in all, when I've seen one Meg Ryan movie, I've seen them all.
The French Lieutenant's Woman (1981)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/18
6/18:
The French Lieutenant's Woman or...The French Lieutenant's Whore?
Since Meryl Streep's character was discovered to be a virgin after the consummation, it turns out she wasn't a
whore after all. So, we go with the first title. I feel like Jeremy Irons had made a career out of doing the same type of
films over and over as evidenced in The French Lieutenant's Woman, Damage, The House of the Spirits,
Chinese Box, and Lolita.
Let's be fair to Jeremy Irons because The French Lieutenant's Woman is really his first film in a leading role, and
obviously, he's very good. He practically saves the film while Meryl Streep ruins every scene with the most fake acting
possible. They have no chemistry to begin with. The trouble with Meryl Streep is she lets her sultry eyes (Hollywood sure
has a fetish for them, doesn't it?) do the work for her. Her abuse of this trick is constant throughout the dull film.
That's why I've never thought Meryl Streep as a great actress despite her being Oscar-nominated many times which is 21 so far.
I can't say if I like the split storylines which are when the thespians are being themselves and when they play characters in
the movie within the movie. At first, I thought this particular technique, which is unique because I can't recall a film
doing the same thing, was distracting, but it had become better and maybe more compelling than the made-up romance story. The
funniest part during the entire time is Meryl Streep acted way better when she was being herself.
All in all, despite Meryl Streep, The French Lieutenant's Woman lies on the shoulders of Jeremy Irons' exceptional
acting and the endearing Victorian cinematography.
Frenzy (1972)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/06, 2/08, 2/17
4/06:
"From the Master of Shock...A Shocking Masterpiece!" is the tagline for Frenzy.
It's a brilliantly made Hitchcock picture that was, for the first time ever, slapped with an 'R' rating for nudity and
graphic scenes. Why is it such a better sex murder picture than Marnie? It's because Alfred Hitchcock stopped being
genteel and started to expose the dark seedy underworld of sex offenders with obscure fetishes. He also allows the viewers
to see how a serial killer operates: his modus operandi, how he lives, and the air of trust he creates. Behind this
façade is his senseless depravity.
Frenzy was created much earlier before the grisly killings were conducted by Ted Bundy who manifested certain traits
as seen in Robert Rusk. Incidentally, the term "serial killer" wouldn't be coined until Robert Ressler came up with it in 1974.
All in all, I don't know which is creepier in Frenzy: the sex murders or Oxford's wife's cooking.
2/08:
Downgrading my rating of Frenzy from '9' to '7', it's still a great Hitchcock picture.
However, the redundancy turns me off somewhat because the all-too-familiar repetitive formula hurts the film a lot for being
predictable. One gimmick, which is a poor move on Hitchcock's part, is the exotic-sounding but nauseating cuisines.
Mind you, a bit of diversion is a good thing, but it's done too much here.
Jon Finch, who plays Richard Blaney, does not get enough screen time, but Barry Foster is brilliant as the sex
maniac killer Robert Rusk. I must say the ending is rather uneventful and therefore disappointing. It's like
shaking a soda can violently and then opening it only to see fizz coming out instead of an explosion. Yet there's a lot to
like which has great cinematic techniques, nice camera shots, and a wonderful buildup of tension.
For many years since directing Psycho, Alfred Hitchcock hadn't been the same. Frenzy demonstrated he was back
in a big way. Sadly, it turned out to be the last great picture of his career before passing away in 1980.
All in all, Frenzy, although not Hitchcock's absolute best, is interesting food for thought.
2/17:
Frenzy is the most gruesome picture by Alfred Hitchcock and the only one to receive an 'R' rating of his oeuvre.
Hitchcock returned to England after being away in the States for over twenty years. Frenzy is his third
London picture since 1939 with the other two being Under Capricorn in 1949 and Stage Fright in 1950. The remake
of The Man Who Knew Too Much doesn't count.
Although Frenzy is formulaic and feels rushed toward the end, Hitchcock's old touch is certainly back which had been
long missing since 1963. Great performances are rendered by Barry Foster, Jon Finch, Barbara Leigh-Hunt, Ann Massey, and Bernard
Cribbins. They are all outstanding, but it's Barry Foster, in a role that was meant for Michael Caine who turned it down after
calling the character "disgusting" which is a poor move on his part, who steals the film. Oddly, he went on to do
Dressed to Kill.
Technically brilliant for the shots, several instances should be recounted: the use of alleys to show
several important characters coming in and out at the same time, the long reverse tracking shot from Rusk's apartment, and the
moment when Babs turned around to see Rusk after she rushed out of the pub.
Genius is Anthony Shaffer's screenplay. Listening to the dialogue, it's easy to discern the quality of his writing.
By the way, the trailer is amusing and a must-see as Alfred Hitchcock has fun with the murders. He also
makes a couple of cameos separately early in the film which occur during the politician's speech and, right away, the
aftermath. Many critics called Frenzy the last great Hitchcock picture, but I disagree. Family Plot was such that.
All in all, no matter the negatives, Frenzy is a great Hitchcock picture that's worth watching.
Fresh (1994)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
3/15
3/15:
When I think of the best gang pictures in black cinema, Boyz n the Hood immediately comes to my mind which has been the
touchstone.
Watching Fresh, I can't help but think of how good it is as compared to John Singleton's classic. I love the deep
Shakespearean elements, most especially the analogy of a chess match being played out in real life. The characters around
Fresh are used as pawns, and Esteban (Giancarlo Esposito giving the best performance of his career) is the
king and therefore the objective of the game. Fresh's reward is his sister.
Listening to his alcoholic father (Samuel L. Jackson), Fresh makes most of the life lessons by applying them on the
streets to win the game. It's just brilliant stuff. Hanging and shooting his slain friend's bulldog, Fresh crosses the Rubicon
by accepting his death wish. But he, while hiding his feelings, is also supremely intelligent and has a plan of his own.
Around the people, Fresh listens but says nothing and speaks only when told to. To drive the point further, it's easy to
compare him to Chuckie who can't shut the hell up or keep secrets. In short, Fresh has the making of a feared drug lord, but
really, his primary aim is to get himself and his sister out of the ghetto life.
Sean Nelson gives the performance of his career and should have been awarded with an Oscar nomination for Best Actor. I
love the touch of vitiligo on the side of his forehead which is a realistic malady for many blacks. The child
thespians are naturally talented. Lovely is the ghetto lingo which is poetry. There are rare scenes of violence
which come off as either subtle or devastating.
All in all, Fresh is a brilliantly written masterpiece that breaks the mold of the usual black gang pictures.
The Freshman (1990)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/03, 7/08
7/08:
The Freshman is an above-average picture that's ingenious for reusing Marlon Brando as the Godfather.
The plot isn't bad but can be tedious at times. The outcome is weird to believe, but at least, the performances are enough
to overcome it. Marlon Brando is fun to watch while Matthew Broderick, in a strange yet intriguing way, slowly becomes
like Michael Corleone. By the way, I like the moment when the former is cracking walnuts to arouse fear in the latter.
Bruno Kirby, who's another figure from The Godfather saga, is a pain to stomach. Ditto for Frank Whaley. Penelope Ann
Miller is okay herself. I love Paul Benedict who plays the pseudo all-knowing movie buff. I'm just marveled with how he's
used for the purpose of The Godfather tie-in; it's brilliant.
The only reason why I remember Komodo dragon is due to this movie. In fact, every time I go to the zoo, I have the easiest time
identifying the rare animal. That's why I like films like that, so I can learn about unusual things and not forget.
All in all, without Marlon Brando, there's no The Freshman, period.
Freshman Fall (1996)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
Whaddyaknow...Zack Morris rapes Danny Tanner's daughter.
The presented topic of Freshman Fall, aka She Cried No, is highly relevant in this day and age. Campus rape happens
whenever alcohol is involved. It has been going on for so long that barely anyone gets in serious trouble for it. Just ask Brock
Tanner of Stanford University who ended up getting light punishment (three months in jail), and he tried to have his convictions
overturned afterwards. Woe betide anyone who's been raped by a high-profile athlete because the university will go so far
to protect him.
Then, there are the fraternities which are the equivalent of street gangs. They and rape always go hand in hand. Right in the middle
is alcohol. Sometimes, they spike drinks with date rape drugs such as GHB. Regardless of what they do, universities don't care about
rape victims. Never have, and never will. When they get involved, it's about keeping the incident under wraps. Just get the
assembly line moving, so they can continue to rake in the big bucks.
As for Zack Morris, he's a good-looking guy who has a decent chance with Danny Tanner's daughter. All he has to
do is to take her out and get know to her more. In no time, they'll have sex. That's not so hard, hm? As a bonus, they
can study together to get ready for the advanced calculus final exam.
By the way, it's interesting when Zack said to the girl's brother, "Where do you think I learned the game, huh? The trick about
the dirty room. The drink tickets, jello shooters. The game, Mike, you taught me, you taught me everything." The implication is
that Mike ran a house of rapists and that he's indirectly responsible for his sister's rape. What a stand-up guy Mike is,
especially after he defended his frat "brothers" while not believing anything his sister said.
Unfortunately, the outcome in the film is unrealistic; it should've been over after the university hearing because Zack did get
away with rape. That's the way it goes because there's no physical evidence. Instead, I'm shown tons of video footage for his
comeuppance. Impossible. I had been to lots of college parties, but nobody ever recorded anything. Plus, the videotape of the
hearing was supposed to be confidential.
By the way, I'm familiar with advanced calculus. That's actually differential equations they're teaching in class. I'm
surprised to hear "the orthogonality of characteristic functions" at one point. That's not possible this early; it'll come
almost at the end of the semester, just before Laplace Transforms is introduced. Besides, Danny Tanner's daughter will have to
take Calculus I, II, and III before signing up for differential equations. Otherwise, the jump is too great, and no...having
done AP Calculus is never good enough.
All in all, Freshman Fall is accurate except for everything after the conclusion of the university hearing.
Friday (1995)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/16
4/16:
Yep, Friday is truly a low point of the black culture.
You know, I never saw the film until now. Afterwards, I began to realize it may have played a role
in shaping how black people behave nowadays.
Well, this one has it all that perfectly describes the black culture: black-on-black crime, joblessness, idleness, lack of
education, poor speaking skills, drug use, physical fights to solve problems, absence of parental values, incessant profanity,
and toilet humor. It's not funny but rather disturbing.
I hate Chris Tucker. His character bothers me so much that he's whom I imagine what an entitled young black person
is typically like. John Witherspoon degrades himself by playing a disgusting human being. Ice Cube repeats what he did in
Boyz n the Hood. I know he was special as Doughboy, but let's face facts: somebody should have
canceled his movie career a long time ago because he cannot act.
All in all, black people should be embarrassed by Friday and even more so by mimicking the characters' behavior.
Friday Night Lights (2004)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/16
12/16:
I have now seen the most ridiculous supposedly serious high school football picture: Friday Night Lights.
There are five things I hate about it: the melodrama, the camera work, the unrealistic images, the direction, and the
ripped-off concepts from a well-known movie.
Let's be real: who the fuck cares about high school football? It has absolutely
no meaning in the grand scheme of things, and I don't give a fuck whether or not it takes place in Texas. Those who hold the
axiom "God, football, and Texas" sacred are out of their freaking minds and need to have a mental health checkup.
Oh, my goodness. The drama. Every weekend of football is a do-or-die. Win, or die. Lose, and it's the end of the world.
Oh, my goodness. Fucking win at all costs. People are nothing if the team loses. Oh, my fucking goodness. Just
win...the...fucking game. These people are so stupid. It's just a fucking high school football game. Get a life!
Just when I thought the camera work in Any Given Sunday was the worst ever for a football film,
Friday Night Lights comes off as okay. Still, the camera work is piss-poor. Hold the damn camera still, for Pete's sake.
I have to laugh at the idea of the setting taking place in 1988. The whole thing looks so unbelievably modern that I must
ask why they didn't give it up and made the whole thing set at the present day.
Am I watching adults pretending to be high school football players? Check out Derek Luke's body. He's so goddamn fucking
built that he looks ready to play in the NFL. Derek was actually 30 years old at the time of the filming. One guy who was on
the state championship team appears 50 years old with a couple of balding spots on his head.
The football scenes look utterly ridiculous and unrealistic. I'll be surprised if high school football players can play like
NFL players, being physically able to execute such good-looking plays. Plus, they don't normally bleed much during a football
game.
Most of all, I'm disappointed in the direction. Because it was doing so well in terms of displaying societal pressures
that high school players face, I was actually hoping Friday Night Lights would be about the realities
to make a point that life is much bigger than football, but everybody has failed me in this regard.
As soon as it turned out to be just another Hollywood football picture with a sad ending, I had lost interest and didn't care
about what happened the rest of the way. There are many clichés, and I've gotten tired of them all. Speaking of clichés, the
more I see of them, the more Friday Night Lights is Hoosiers in disguise. So, did the filmmakers watch the
basketball picture first and then went from there to restructure the story? Is that how it really went down?
For whatever it's worth, Billy Bob Thornton and Tim McGraw have done a good job. If the attention was centered around these
two, maybe it would have been a more interesting movie. But it's been done before, from a coach
standpoint, with Al Pacino in Any Given Sunday and Denzel Washington in Remember the Titans and, from an
abusive father standpoint, with Dennis Hopper in Hoosiers. Hence, it's superfluous.
All in all, Friday Night Lights is a Hoosiers rip-off, leaving me suffocated with a high amount of
ridiculousness and melodrama.
Friday the 13th (1980)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
9/03, 8/04, 6/06, 11/14
6/06:
Showing off one of the coolest opening sequences ever in a horror film when the blocked title smashes through a pane of
glass, Friday the 13th is the original slasher picture...er, sort of.
A common misconception by the public is that Jason appears in this, but the fact is he doesn't until the second part
and wouldn't don the famous hockey mask until the third.
Kevin Bacon makes his motion picture debut, and his character has the best death scene of the franchise. Hence, the display of
gory special effects by Tom Savani scores points. What I like the best is the setup of the ambience to make it a scary film.
However, thanks to the slow pace, I keep falling asleep and can't stay awake in one sitting.
All in all, Friday the 13th is the beginning of the next ten unforgettable but mostly forgettable sequels that range
from decent to piss-poor to total dreck.
11/14:
I must have seen Friday the 13th five or six times in my life, and every time I do, I always fall asleep about one hour
into it.
The film moves slow...so slow that I'm constantly thinking of what I need to do around the house. Nothing interesting
happens; it's just a lot of random killing around Camp Blood. As annoying as Ned is, I'm surprised he was never killed
because I thought he would get the worst of it. Did Mark Nelson have a stipulation in his contract forbidding the death of
his character or what?
Remember how Kevin Bacon (who, by the way, is the biggest star to appear for the franchise) was killed with an arrow
through his throat? Let's go back several steps and examine the lead-up to it. Marcie and he enter the cabin and walk to
the bed for a breathtaking night of fornication. From the angle of their viewpoint, they should be able to see anyone
under the bed. What's humorous about the entire time they're having sex is Jason's mother being underneath the
bed and listening to them pleasuring each other.
Alice, the final surviving virgin scream queen, runs inside the cabin, secures the doors and the windows, and waits for
something to happen. Really, the smartest thing for her to do is grab ahold of a baseball bat, check the pantry closet to see
if anyone is in there, and extinguish the light before hiding herself. Whoever comes inside, she should be ready to whack
the intruder and beat him silly to death. But no...I have to endure another thirty minutes of a dragged-out ending.
As odd as it seems, I camped for many summers at locations around New Jersey just exactly like Camp Crystal Lake, but
I never once made an association between my time there and Friday the 13th.
All in all, the slow pace is what killed Friday the 13th for me.
Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
11/03, 8/04, 6/06, 11/14
6/06:
Friday the 13th Part 2 is slightly better than the original.
Jason finally appears, donning a pillowcase over his head. This sequel is the first, the only, and the final film showing
him as a human being who's clumsy at times. Over time, he would become a highly efficient lethal killing machine.
Ralph the drunk village idiot is finally murdered but not Ted the orange-haired doofus. What a disappointment. The real terror
begins when the two principal characters are alone in battle with Jason. Then, the novelty wears off faster
than you can say, "Hula-hoop."
All in all, there's a feeling of being cheated in Friday the 13th Part 2, but at least, the filmmakers don't
disappoint by showing Jason's unmasked face.
11/14:
After a forty-year hiatus, the Texarkana Killer returns, but this time, he's in New Jersey.
How comical is when the obvious survivor described Jason as a "frightened retard." Anyway, Friday the 13th Part 2
is slightly better than the original because the pace is quicker. However, it doesn't have much of meat to work with given the
potential.
Out of fourteen counselors, eight actually survived the bloodbath which must be an all-time record for the franchise save
for the Manhattan movie. The fact of matter is the characters weren't properly introduced. So, they're just random faces
in the background including one black person.
Poor Vickie. Her perfume-spraying effort on her neckline, chest, and vagina has gone naught as she gets killed en route to
her breathtaking night of fornication with a guy who's paralyzed from the waist down. Of course, the poor son of a bitch is
also killed because he can't find her, either.
The POV technique is abused because when utilized, it's often not through Jason's perspective. A few
times, it looks like he's hiding behind a tree, yet nobody sees him while walking through the woods. Anyway, who
in his right mind would open up a camp near Crystal Lake after what happened there? It's like asking for it.
All in all, Friday the 13th Part 2 is formulaic, repeating nearly everything that happened in the original with Jason
substituted for his mother.
Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/04, 8/04, 6/06, 11/14
6/06:
Not really a scary picture, Friday the 13th Part 3 is the first time Jason Voorhees dons the famous hockey mask
and finally becomes the horror icon we know him as.
It's also the third straight film that ends in a dream sequence. The characters are routinely killed off without any care
because their acting skills are so abominably bad.
All in all, Friday the 13th Part 3 lacks heart.
11/14:
1-D story, 1-D acting, and 1-D characters all add up to 3-D for Friday the 13th Part 3.
It takes too long to get things going before the characters are killed off, but the pace is more improved during the final
half hour. There are recycled moments and characters from the original. The addition of the biker gang to an already
overcrowded set of characters is unnecessary, making the film look worse than it has to be. It's bad enough when the black
dude came back from the dead in the attempt of saving the lone female survivor.
The overemphasis of objects for the 3-D look is distracting and adds nothing to the overall effect which is a retarded way
of saying, "Look, ma! See how cool it looks!" It bears repeating, because a lot of people don't know this, that
Friday the 13th Part 3 is the first film Jason finally dons the famous hockey mask. He has the most screen
time compared to the previous two films.
However, it's surprising Jason is able to recover from the immense loss of blood and goes back to work the next day:
slashing and dicing. Who gave him priceless blood transfusions...animals? Also, for somebody who lives like a feral
creature, Jason sure wears nicely pressed clothes. I assume he takes pride in his ironing skills? And his face and body
undergo a noticeable transformation. I guess it's true that coming back from the dead again and again makes Jason stronger and
prettier than ever.
Notice the heavy padding on the mustachioed male store clerk Harold's chest, especially when he turns around a bit. It's
obvious he was going to be stabbed hard the next minute. When a person is lying on the road, most drivers tend to see the body
from a distance, trying to figure it out in a calm manner, but in the film, it's been "Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" at the last
second within ten feet of the body. What's with the dirty lens attached to the camera? Seeing the two or three specks of dirt
is distracting throughout the film. Wipe it clean, will they?
All in all, I tend to associate Jason Voorhees with the Friday the 13th franchise through Parts 3 to 4 and 6 to 8.
Friday the 13th Part V:
A New Beginning (1985)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/06, 11/14
6/06:
Oh, boy...more Friday the 13th insanity.
The fifth part is the Halloween III: Season of the Witch of the franchise and is a major source of contention among the
fans. Anyway, not that this point is relevant, but it certainly helps when the characters have real dialogue in a
Friday the 13th picture.
However, the filmmakers do a good job by making the characters to be annoying as much and then having them killed pronto. I
guess the goal is for everybody not feel bad about it. By the way, the hair on the gothic girl looks practically burned.
All in all, if you haven't seen Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning and are expecting more of the same,
well...you're in for a big disappointment.
11/14:
Well, they got one part of the title correct for Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning because it's literally
the beginning of the decline in quality for the franchise.
I'm conflicted by whether to think of the fourth sequel as a true Friday the 13th picture, but I feel it's not and
don't view it as part of the franchise. The mystery is given away in the first 25 minutes, but those new to the
film will not be sure why the EMT took the fat kid's death so hard until the end. And then they'll be fooled into
thinking it's Jason the entire time only that it isn't him but the same EMT guy pretending to be him.
For a human being, the EMT guy sure has the strength of twenty men. As a matter of fact, it's Jason the entire time, yet the
filmmakers tried to trick everybody by making a last-minute switch to reveal that it's not him. What doesn't make sense is the
EMT guy choosing to kill all these people when he should be going for the guy who killed his son.
Let's face it: Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning is among the worst films of the franchise. It has an awful set of
characters, so who cares if they get bumped off? Can you believe it took three writers to come up with the crap for this
sequel? Tommy Jarvis hardly says a thing. It's reported the actor who played him prepared for the role by visiting
a state mental hospital as part of his research. I don't think it's that hard to play somebody with mental illness.
All in all, I love the poster for Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning because the hockey mask is the most fake
I've seen which should be considered as a dead giveaway.
Friday the 13th Part VI:
Jason Lives (1986)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/06, 11/14
6/06:
The formula works for Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives because it's such a huge moneymaker.
11/14:
It really rains a lot in Friday the 13th movies, huh?
In Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives, crazy Tommy Jarvis decides to dig up Jason Voorhees to convince himself that
he's still dead despite hacking him into pieces with a machete over thirty times. I guess he should have gone for another
thirty to make himself sicker than before.
Now, we can blame his idiocy and irresponsibility for bringing Jason back from the dead via electrocution and letting him
claim a body count of 18, the highest ever for a Friday the 13th picture so far.
The killings are routine as ever, and the characters remain dumb as ever. The counselors don't look qualified to run a
summer camp. Who in his right mind wants to reopen the camp at Crystal Lake after five separate series of brutal murders
over a 29-year period? Because Jason is too much of a pussy to kill children, I've lost a lot of respect for him.
All in all, although it's leaner and more refined, Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives is still the same
bullshit with Jason transforming into a supernatural, unstoppable lethal killing machine.
Friday the 13th Part VII:
The New Blood (1988)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/06, 11/14
6/06:
The new blood.
What the hell are they talking about? It's still the same old shit. Jason finds new tools, kills idiotic characters, wimps
out with the final two, and is temporarily put away at the end.
The filmmakers decided to spruce it up a bit in Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood by including a girl with
telekinetic powers. Well, the formula has been beaten so many times to death that I suppose adding something new can't hurt.
Having seen seven films by now is like knowing what happens by a mile ahead before it actually happens. The father coming out
of the water after fifteen years of being sunk is what has my head down and shaking it.
All in all, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood shouldn't have been made in the first place.
11/14:
Yep, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood is the film when Jason dukes it out with the girl with telekinetic powers.
It needs to be seen to believe. Friday the 13th pictures are usually quick, but this seventh part drags. Jason
is literally everywhere. One minute, he is in the woods. The next minute, he's in the house. Then, he's at the woods. Back
to the house again. He does it all so conveniently well that he should run in the Boston Marathon.
Never have the killings been so routine. Apparently, nothing stops Jason. As popular as the machete has been for the franchise,
I've never seen one in real life and don't see the use for it. A better tool would be the "saw." Then again, they did make
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. The characters are the lamest they've ever been. Something bothers me about one of them.
Why is the black girl wearing suspenders inside of her shirt? I guess human beings can stay underwater for fifteen years and
then, all of a sudden, come out of nowhere to fight Jason.
All in all, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood is a pointless sequel.
Friday the 13th Part VIII:
Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/06, 11/14
6/06:
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan sucks so violently hard that it hardly qualifies as a horror picture.
Rob Hedden, the writer/director, had this to say about the film: "Okay, we'll make Vancouver look like New York and we'll do
it that way. But they came back again with, 'You can't do the Brooklyn Bridge in Vancouver. You can't do Madison Square Garden
in Vancouver. You can't do the Statue of Liberty in Vancouver.' Pretty soon, it was half New York, half on the boat. Then, it
was the last third in New York. It just kept getting whittled down and down."
The best part is Jason's priceless WTF reaction when he looked up to see the billboard advertisement of the
Eastern Hockey League.
All in all, the laughingstock of the franchise, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan never takes
place in New York City.
11/14:
Believe it or not, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan is somewhat of an improvement over the last three
sequels.
However, the title is misleading. Jason does not take Manhattan but only to show up there to keep chasing the same
characters from the nearly crewless cruise boat which is the Panamanian version of the Titanic that came out of
Bram Stoker's Dracula.
What makes me sick is Jason didn't even bother killing any of the New Yorkers as he walked through them. I mean, what
exactly excludes them from getting the same treatment as the rest of the characters from the past seven films that have been
invariably receiving? I can't believe Jason's response to the gang members, after kicking over their stereo, is to show
his real face and then walk on. Like the real Jason would do that.
No matter how hard the characters try to run away from Jason, he's always magically transported to the end point before doing
what he always does. The scene when the blonde-haired guy climbed up the mast only to see Jason, all of a sudden, appearing
right behind him in the next shot sums up the entire franchise to this: there's no logic at all because it has no value.
The people just get killed, and the reasons why aren't important. It's been kill, kill, kill. And Jason keeps coming back
from the dead so many times that it's a one goddamn joke. Somewhere along the way, Jason takes the time to cover
up his eyes by placing a black mesh cover behind the holes of his mask. Anyway, Peter Richman, who plays Charles McCulloch,
bears an uncanny resemblance to Skip Bayless, formerly of the Dallas Times Herald and is a regular on ESPN.
All in all, the fans had finally spoken by making Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan the least profitable
picture, causing Paramount Pictures to cease churning out the sequels almost annually; eventually, the franchise got
sold to New Line Cinema.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
8/04, 6/06, 11/14
6/06:
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is an okay entry for the franchise, showing improvement over the previous three
pictures with lots of better death scenes.
River's Edge's Crispin Glover has a big part, but his performance sucks like the rest of the others. In the previous
film, Jason got knifed pretty deep in the shoulder blade and also in the kneecap, but in
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, he's perfectly new like as if nothing happened. I wonder at what point does
he become a robot instead of a human being.
If the franchise began with the second part which took place on Friday the 13th and continued to the next day which is Saturday
the 14th, then the third part picked it up on Sunday the 15th. So, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
went from there and ended on Tuesday the 17th. Hence, why is the movie still called Friday the 13th?
All in all, logic means nothing to Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter or any of the other parts.
11/14:
Kill them all.
They are nothing but mothers, fornicators, hitchhikers, alcoholics, gang members, boobs, camp counselors, virgins, people with
disabilities, fatsos, models, college students, sluts, horror mask makers, nymphomaniac campers, voyeurs, crazies, potheads,
sluts, townfolks, and musicians. Slash, dice, and kill them all. What the fuck do I care? Quick! Predict the plot for the
third sequel. If you guessed it right within ten seconds, you've just won the prize! Johnny! What's the prize for him? Jason
gets to stab you in the belly with a pitchfork!
However, as formulaic as it gets, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter might be the best picture of the franchise
because it has a bit of edge, is scary at times, and gets the terrifying atmosphere down pat. Jason is at his lethal best and
is frightening to look at. But the same can't be said for the victims as they're too pathetic, hopeless, and stupid to survive.
After four days and three nights of senseless mass murders around the area, it's comical how everybody is unaffected
by it all. Yeah, life is the same as before. Anyway, fuck them all.
Corey Feldman is the second biggest star of the franchise next to Kevin Bacon, but it's a strange curio Crispin Glover is
part of this, too, because he was a good actor during the 80's, giving the best performance of his career in
River's Edge. Although Crispin is embarrassing in this, he gets to shag a total babe. Anyway, my favorite line from
one of the characters is, "Help!! He's killing me!! He's killing me!!" Well, do something about it, fuckso.
All in all, here's the sign the filmmakers didn't care about the franchise when they got the hockey mask, as seen in the
movie poster, wrong as the axe chop actually landed on the left, not right, side of Jason's head.
The Friends of Eddie Coyle (1973)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
10/21
10/21:
The Friends of Eddie Coyle is, in a word, dull.
The dialogue is a lot closer to what I would hear in a play. Having appeared in many noir pictures, it's not one of
Robert Mitchum's finest; the secondary players carry the film more. At least, the bank robbery operation looks tight and
convincing, and it can be easily pulled off in real life.
Making for a slow picture, the plot is confusing to follow. I didn't realize Foley was a cop for the longest time,
and at the end, I thought Dillon faked the shooting on purpose. It would have made sense this way because Eddie Coyle could
have been set up properly for the witness protection program. By the way, what kind of arms dealer drives a
neon-colored car?
All in all, for an authentic crime picture, The Friends of Eddie Coyle is boring beyond belief.
Fright (1971)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/12
7/12:
To put it nicely, Fright is a constant race between Brian losing his mind and Susan George getting naked.
The former happened, but the latter never did, much to the disappointment of her fans. At least, for the majority of the
time, they can see the white panties through George's somewhat skimpy yet tight velvet dress. So, it's no wonder why she was
cast for this film, fresh off from her sexy performance in Straw Dogs.
Lost in the confusion, Fright is a lot of screaming, fancy camera work, and foreboding of what I had anticipated all
along. Let me just give you the gist of the film as taken from TCM: "A baby sitter and her young charge are terrorized
by an escaped mental patient." It sounds like pre-Halloween but only worse.
Speaking of ineptitude, how about these cops? Why not distract the guy and go around the back to sneak into the house?
Or why not the babysitter leave through the front door by undoing the locks one at a time while the lunatic is peering through
the window? Worst of all, why does she have a gun? Not only that, but why would the cop also give her a gun? What for? Let
the pros do the work.
All in all, Fright is another British horror snore.
Fright Night (1947)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
Nope.
Try again.
All in all, Fright Night is a lame-brained piece of work.
Fright Night (1985)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
11/03, 9/20
9/20:
Despite the excellent-looking poster and fun horror theme, Chris Sarandon is the only best part about Fright Night.
Having seen the movie over five times since the 80's, I always came away disappointed because it could have been much more. My
thinking is the filmmakers ran out of gas during the second half. At least, it initially works well, and the Peter
Vincent thing is cool who's a mix of Peter Cushing and Vincent Price.
It's hard to believe Jerry Dandridge let himself be defeated by nitwits so easily. He practically invited death upon
himself by saying, "Oh, yeah...Charley, go ahead and kill me because you are more important than me." At least, Jerry has an
indelible movie moment by announcing: "Welcome to Frrrright Night."
I know Chris Sarandon was terrific in Dog Day Afternoon, but his performance in Fright Night may be the
best of his career. He has a great aura of seductiveness which makes it easy to root for his character. Forget the rest of
the cast; they are hopeless just like the über annoying Stephen Geoffreys who ended up doing gay porn.
The editing job is bad. Take a couple of scenes with Roddy McDowell. One shot has a close-up of his face
looking surprised. The next one is what's happening at the moment. It's back to Roddy with the same expression and then
over to the same moment. Back and forth...back and forth...back and forth...come on, enough is enough.
All in all, being in the same league, The Monster Squad is far better than Fright Night.
Fright Night Part 2 (1988)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/20
9/20:
William Ragsdale and Roddy McDowell are back for the sequel to Fright Night.
But the true heart of the show was Chris Sarandon. Without him, Fright Night Part 2 doesn't have much going for itself.
I didn't care about Charley or Peter Vincent in the last film, so why should I attempt to this time around?
Instead of substantive content, what I see is filler. There are a lot of random things happening, but they're of no
importance. At the same time, none of the characters is interesting enough to catch my eye. Some of them try to be funny but
aren't.
It's weird to see Jonathan Gries as the Wolfman after doing it already in The Monster Squad. Then again, how does he
fit into the equation of vampirism? The black female suddenly melts to death, but for what reason? Earlier, she was
moving around on roller skates!
You may think Brian Thompson ate the bug, but really, he didn't. He just threw it outside of his mouth through
some angle trick. Either way, Brian Thompson should be put to shame by watching what Nicolas Cage did with a cockroach in
Vampire's Kiss. Notice the girl using the scam speed reading technique of the Evelyn Wood school. I guarantee you
she achieved roughly 5% comprehension of the book with most of it taken from the book jacket or word of mouth.
Hence, Tommy Lee Wallace is what I call a schlock horror director. It's clear he had learned nothing useful from John
Carpenter in terms of how to make a genuinely good horror picture. Unsurprisingly, Fright Night Part 2 is the final
Hollywood directorial work of his career.
All in all, the Menéndez killings had nothing to do with the downfall of Fright Night Part 2 because, quite frankly,
the movie sucks.
Frogs for Snakes (1998)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/03, 7/08
7/08:
The title of Frogs for Snakes says it all.
Trust me, this is a very, very bad film. Who the hell thought Amos Poe could direct? The acting sucks. The characters
suck. The story sucks. The dialogue sucks. The direction sucks. Practically everything about the film sucks.
Almost everybody in the cast has probably saw the death of his or her Hollywood career afterwards. And I am looking at you, Debi
Mazar. Every time somebody does a monologue from a film, I would end up cringing hard. When John Leguizamo, after listening
to Barbara Hershey, said it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard, I just wanted to shoot him in the head right there.
The back of the VHS cover claims Frogs for Snakes is a "Tarantino," "sexy," a "neo-noir," and "stylish."
Well, I can safely say it's been none of them. For a city that has at least ten million inhabitants like New York City,
I find it so hard to believe that the streets are empty.
All in all, Frogs for Snakes may get my vote for the worst film of the 90's.
From Beyond the Grave (1974)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/19
11/19:
It seems there's no such thing as a good horror anthology movie.
That's because the vignettes are so disconnected that each of them could have been a stand-alone for these worthless short film
Oscar competitions. Worse, almost all aren't good. Sure, there's "The Raft" in Creepshow 2 that did
wow me, but to get to it is to wade through many terrible, lifeless stories.
From Beyond the Grave is such that, but it's of the low-budget crap. I didn't even realize I was watching a horror
anthology until half an hour later. It's not the earliest of its kind for the British cinema; the distinction goes to
Dead of Night which was produced in 1945 by the same company that would be hellbent in repeating the same formula
for From Beyond the Grave.
The Gatecrasher: I've always thought David Warner had the perfect face for horror films ever since I saw his head
get sliced off by a flying sheet of glass in The Omen. He mostly disappoints here which has no story. It's
just some stupid dude in the mirror who demands murders.
An Act of Kindness: Talk about weird and fascinating all rolled into one. The Marilyn Manson female look-alike is
actually Donald Pleasence's daughter. It's a "what the hell?" moment for me. Equally so is the sight of the washed-up Diana
Dors who was England's Marilyn Monroe and became infamous for staging sex parties for over three decades until her death of
cancer in 1984. Interestingly, she was once married to Family Feud host Richard Dawson. Anyway, this segment is dead
on arrival, and we shall move along to the next one.
The Elemental: It's by far the only good (and I'm being kind here) segment, thanks to Margaret Leighton for
enlivening things for a change of scenery. The only question I have is: why perform exorcism in the house and break all the
valuables around the room? It must cost the husband and wife a pretty penny, especially in England.
The Door: One of the earliest movie roles for Lesley-Anne Down, it's no wonder why she was voted Britain's most
beautiful teenager at the age of 15. Lesley-Anne was 19 or 20 years old in the film, but in spite of her, this segment is
boring to sit through.
The most interesting parts are between these lackluster stories when the unbelievably gaunt Peter Cushing has his
chance to shine while a thief is trying to case the antique store (an overly familiar concept in Stephen King's
films) but is foiled each time by a sudden walk-in customer. What I like the best is if the customer rips off the owner,
he ends up paying the price in the upcoming horror story. To make me feel better, Peter Cushing ends the film on a high note.
All in all, the stories told in From Beyond the Grave must have been heavily dredged from the bottom of the barrel.
From Here to Eternity (1953)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
2/06, 2/14, 5/17, 11/19, 7/24
2/06:
Outstanding performances are rendered by the cast, most especially Montgomery Clift, Burt Lancaster, and Frank Sinatra, in
From Here to Eternity.
One of the most famous movie scenes of all time is when Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr embraced themselves on the beach
while being engulfed by the water. It's simply breathtaking. If that's all anybody can remember about the film, then so
be it.
The finale is magnificent: petty conflicts are completely washed away by the Japanese's surprise aerial attack. Before
that are two perfectly placed foreboding symbols: the date on the wall calendar and the signpost showing Pearl Harbor.
All in all, From Here to Eternity is a fine cinematic masterpiece.
2/14:
The spume...Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr...on the beach from here to eternity.
It's among the greatest scenes of all time. The power of their embrace is overwhelming which is why I continue to
revisit From Here to Eternity countless times. Also, included in the picture are the wonderful performances by
Montgomery Clift, Frank Sinatra, and Donna Reed.
Frank Sinatra is so good as the affable Maggio that his Oscar win is much deserved. But
let's be real: it's Burt Lancaster and Montgomery Clift who give powerhouse acting performances. Both are simply brilliant,
and they, not Stalag 17's William Holden who had also admitted this, should've
won the Oscar in a tie.
All in all, From Here to Eternity is an unforgettable motion picture.
5/17:
I'm finally able to look past the famous beach scene and recognize From Here to Eternity for what it is: a
masterpiece with truly great acting.
Paul Fussell talks a great deal about "chickenshit" in his book Wartime: Understanding and Behavior in the Second
World War. It's exactly what Privates Prewitt and Maggio endured in the army which are petty crap that have nothing
to do with performing honorable services for their country.
On the other hand, Burt Lancaster is absolutely sublime, and his scenes with anyone are what makes
From Here to Eternity a super special film. He and Deborah Kerr on the beach is among top five greatest scenes ever;
there's no question about it. It was pretty much the clincher for Best Cinematography Oscar which went to Burnett Guffey
who won another for Bonnie and Clyde. Yet I don't agree with the decision because
one scene alone does not make a film as a whole for the category. I'll give him props for setting up the imminent Japanese
attack on the island which is brilliantly shot and therefore another reason for the film's high replayability value.
I now take back what I said about Frank Sinatra for
The Man with the Golden Arm and declare he was born as an actor in
From Here to Eternity; it's just a terrific performance. That's why he won the Oscar in which I have zero problems
with. Honestly, I don't think Montgomery Clift had ever been better in any other film. His acting is perfect, and he
should've gotten the Oscar for Best Actor; actually, it's more of a tie with Burt Lancaster because their performances
are so close in quality that it's hard to pick one over the other.
All in all, From Here to Eternity is an all-time great picture.
11/19:
From Here to Eternity is unquestionably a top fifteen picture of all time.
Every time I think about it, I think of the beach scene with Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr. It's powerful and
moving. Not to be missed are the all-around great acting performances. Montgomery Clift gets the first credit for making
the movie possible. Burt Lancaster is right up there with him every step of the way. Frank Sinatra is truly special.
Deborah Kerr and Donna Reed are fantastic.
All in all, From Here to Eternity is a deeply romantic film that's about tragedies.
7/24:
Simply the best military picture ever made.
From Russia with Love (1963)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
1/11
1/11:
From Russia with Love is almost comparable with Dr. No, having suffered from the same problems: overt sexism, low
intelligence, and absurd moments.
Obviously, women are constantly treated like sex objects, and this idea clearly comes from the male point of view.
The catfight scene between two gypsies has my head shaking in disbelief.
Another terrible aspect is Robert Shaw's character being killed off easily. Grant is like this awesomely trained villain,
and he finally has James Bond in his hand. Then, he lets himself be talked to, allowing Bond to buy time, and pays the
ultimate price for it.
Of course, I never get to see much of the head honcho of the SPECTRE organization: only his hand and the white Persian
cat. Hmm, was that an idea stolen for the cartoon show Inspector Gadget? As usual, James Bond beds more women than ever.
Hmm, I still fail to see his charm.
All in all, From Russia with Love is rubbish as usual but rises above the crap with Roger Moore.
The Front Page (1931)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/21
2/21:
I'm a big fan of Billy Wilder's remake of The Front Page, but seeing the original for the first time, it's a
boring movie.
The biggest trouble is the dialogue. It's so leaden that over 5,000 words should have been cut out. All the characters do is
talk, talk, and talk. That much is evident in the last five minutes when I wanted the movie to end already. Actually, I
was interested to know which film first came up with the line: "The son of a bitch stole my watch."
I know who Pat O'Brien was: a long-time supporting actor in James Cagney pictures. The Front Page is his first film in
a leading role, and he's young-looking. Unfortunately, Pat O'Brien doesn't have that kind of star quality. His comedic
timing is not great, either. That's why I think Cary Grant would have been perfect, hence His Girl Friday. Adolphe
Menjou tries but is buried by too many lines.
More of a play than anything, I think the writers were too much in love with their words. The delivery is so fast that it's
easy to miss them. Some of the lines didn't register in my mind; therefore, I kept moving on with the film which is not
good. This is the reason why the remake worked plus it had two big stars in Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon who
knew the art of perfect timing while working with a well-written script that's full of witty moments.
All in all, The Front Page may be considered the first screwball comedy, but it's a very old movie and I don't mean
that in a kind way.
The Front Page (1974)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/04, 4/21
4/21:
Out of two versions (The Front Page and His Girl Friday), Billy Wilder's is the best.
To me, the purpose of a remake is correct the flaws of the original and further improve the rest. It's exactly what happened
for the second stab at The Front Page. With the exception of Carol Burnett who overacts, the cast is perfect, and the
pairing of Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau for the respective roles of Hildy Johnson and Walter Burns is genius. Their comedic
timing is unbelievable.
The problems with the original are leaden dialogue, lack of star power, and a long, boring middle. His Girl Friday
is so fast paced that it's difficult to keep up with the overlapping dialogue. The star power of Cary Grant, not
Rosalind Russell, is what helped the picture the most, but he's conspicuously missing for a long stretch of time.
The 1974 version of The Front Page fixes just about everything while solving the problem of the middle. As a result,
it's a funny movie which has the right pace. Billy Wilder was smart enough to end the film by having Walter Matthau say, "The
son of a bitch stole my watch." The dialogue is clear and never overlapping which is the chief reason why the concept
finally worked.
All in all, I don't know why Billy Wilder regretted remaking The Front Page, but it's the best version I've seen.
The Fugitive (1993)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
9/03, 5/18, 7/21
5/18:
Patterning itself after the famous TV show, The Fugitive does me a favor by condensing the plot into a 130-minute film
from 120 episodes with 51 minutes each which comes to 102 hours for you mathematically challenged people.
Whew...that's a lot of time saved. Even Harrison Ford, who actually grew his own beard, never saw the TV show. The film starts
off awkwardly with many problems in logic. Dr. Kimble wouldn't have been able to survive the train/bus crash without broken
bones and all. The opening sequence has also left me thinking the murder and the trial both happened in the same week.
Afterwards, it shapes into a rousing adventure when Harrison Ford gets in his Indiana Jones mode that I love him for it.
That's when the movie becomes better, and it's fun to watch, hence the '9' rating. There are many good moments.
Notwithstanding Julianne Moore, the acting is fantastic, and Andreas Katsulas will always be that one-armed guy.
When I first saw The Fugitive in 1993, I didn't think of the picture in terms of acting accolades. Hence,
I was surprised when the announcement came during the Academy Awards that the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor went to
Tommy Lee Jones. Don't get me wrong. I like Tommy Lee Jones and think of him as a great actor. I don't think he had ever given
a bad performance; the point is that such Oscars are never handed out for action-adventure films despite the fact that
there had been many great ones over the years. I wasn't expecting it at all for Tommy Lee Jones who even admitted this
much, "It's not like anyone is going to win any awards for this film."
After seeing The Fugitive again for the fifth time or so, I can see now why Tommy Lee won it; he's simply masterful
although I don't like his supporting cast, especially that black woman with the weird head thing. Their arrogance is annoying
as they tried to come off as "cool." At one point, I didn't get why Samuel Gerard had to shoot Dr. Kimble, who was basically
unarmed, when he was escaping from the jail-courthouse building.
All in all, The Fugitive is among great action pictures of the 90's.
7/21:
There's a lot to like about The Fugitive: Harrison Ford, Tommy Lee Jones, and the murder mystery.
Finishing number three at the box office in 1993, the editing is superb which earned an Academy Award nomination for six guys.
It's like watching Harrison Ford versus The French Connection. A lot of it is borrowed from The Package with
some Above the Law, both directed by Andrew Davis.
Tommy Lee Jones is an absolute master of organization, telling people to get on it and do their jobs and refusing to take no
for an answer. That's why he won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor although he was really in the leading role. Believe it
or not, it's not his best performance; that will be The Executioner's Song which is a must-see for all Tommy Lee Jones
fans.
All in all, The Fugitive is a thrilling picture that continues to stand the test of time.
The Fugitive Kind (1960)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/08
6/08:
I don't know this for sure, but somewhere in his mind, Marlon Brando must have thought when he did The Fugitive Kind:
Tennessee Williams, black and white, and his boyishly good looks.
Unfortunately, it turned out to be a disaster. The biggest problem is the melodrama. Nothing clicks.
The dialogue is often silly and unconnected, and everybody is lost in the mess. I've been forced to watch a
race between Joanne Woodward and Anna Magnani to see who could deliver the most over-the-top performance.
Thus, Marlon Brando is left helpless, using any of the three basic acting techniques in his repertoire: look up to the ceiling,
touch his facial features or neck, and let out an "uh." The truth is Anna Magnani wanted to sleep with him, but he
refused to acquiesce to her demand. So, it caused tension between them on the set, contributing to the failure of the film
and, ultimately, my misery of seeing it.
All in all, despite the black-and-white look, The Fugitive Kind is a giant dud in Marlon Brando's oeuvre.
Fukushû suru wa ware ni ari (1979)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
Fukushû suru wa ware ni ari, aka Vengeance Is Mine, is a boring Japanese true crime picture.
In fact, 99% of the content is made up in spite of basing the story on serial killer Akira Nishiguchi whose name
was changed to Iwao Enokizu. That being said, given his behavior and method of killing, Enokizu isn't a serial killer by any
means. He's a murderer who happens to be addicted to it.
I guess putting Nishiguchi's life on screen proved to be too challenging for the director, so he opted for the
easiest route. As a result, I'm treated to mundane affairs of Japanese people for two hours and twenty minutes. There are
plenty of sex, fraud, incest, and female mistreatment with an occasional killing; no matter what, the film is patently dull. John
McNaughton did it so much better in Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer.
At the end, Enokizu's father is shown throwing a bone in the air before the next shot is frozen. That's when I thought the
movie was finally over, but no....the director wants to keep going for another and another and another and another. What a
pretentious thing to do to strive for a "special" meaning while the nonlinear technique of nihilistic storytelling is at
best confusing and at worst silly.
All in all, don't be fooled by the DVD cover of Fukushû suru wa ware ni ari as it's anything but.
Full Circle (1996)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
8/23
8/23:
Full Circle is a terrible Danielle Steel movie.
What's the point of watching it if the main character is unlikeable? For her actions, Tana is a shoo-in for the
Slut of the Year award. After rejecting Harry so many times, she was all over his father, found Drew to be no problem despite
being separated from his wife at the moment, and married an older man who could be, for all I know, her uncle. Earlier,
she was going after Yael McBee, but he got arrested in time.
Hence, why does Tana keep turning Harry down? What's wrong with him? As a matter of fact, if she accepted his proposal, he
would have never been paralyzed in the first place and therefore stayed alive. Now, the poor sucker died without knowing
the truth about Tana and his father. Some best friend she is.
Elsewhere, none of the subplots is appropriately developed. There's no emotional growth happening. Everybody is the same, no
matter what. The rape incident does nothing for Tana in the long run. She being ultimately okay with her mother who denied it
ever happened is absolutely bizarre.
All in all, Full Slut is more like it.
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/04, 4/08
4/08:
When I was in the seventh grade, everybody had to do a project for social studies fair, and it must be based on history;
for instance, one could build a small waterfall after the Niagara Falls.
Unfortunately, year after year without fail, a majority of the male seventh graders decided to fill a posterboard with
fake grass and soldiers while selecting the name of some random battle without knowing what it was all about. It's exactly
how I view Full Metal Jacket for Stanley Kubrick.
When Michael Cimino, Francis Ford Coppola, and Oliver Stone saw success through their respective films The Deer Hunter,
Apocalypse Now, and Platoon, an epiphany struck through Stanley Kubrick's mind, and he declared to everybody
he'll make a Vietnam War film only to have completely missed the boat...many years later. This part is funny because
it reminds me of the analogy of 10,000 runners who started and finished a race before some moron showed up at the starting
line afterwards and no one had bothered telling him the race was already over.
As for Full Metal Jacket, I hate everything about it. I absolutely hate it with passion. It's clearly targeted at IMDb
fanboys who love to masturbate in their mommy and daddy's basement while being on the Internet all day long. I didn't like the
movie in 1987, and I still don't like it now. In fact, I saw no redeeming qualities back then and still don't. Oh, you marvel
over R. Lee Ermey's performance? Well, guess what? The whole thing is a rip-off from Louis Gossett, Jr.'s Oscar-winning
performance in An Officer and a Gentleman
Let's be fair and get one thing out of the way. R. Lee Ermey, an actual Marine vet who served in Vietnam, was Louis
Gossett, Jr.'s coach, and he trained him a great deal to prepare for the scenes as a drill instructor. That being said,
it's actually his material. Ermey just can't use the same lines again. Otherwise, they'll sound ripped-off. Anyway, watching
Private Pyle be tortured doesn't pass for quality entertainment since he has to be borderline mentally retarded. Where's
the fun in that?
All in all, Full Metal Jacket is full of shit.
The Full Monty (1997)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
1/19
1/19:
Stupid stories make for stupid movies.
Think about this: a group of six ugly, unemployed men decide to put on a striptease for their town in Northern England because
they can't figure anything else to do for money. Really? How about...moving out and getting a real job somewhere else? Why is
that so hard to accomplish?
The former Best Picture nominee hasn't aged well. Although the film has charm with a nice ending, it tries too hard to mimic
the style of Hugh Grant's English comedy classics. Worse, it has many corny moments and forced jokes.
All in all, The Full Monty...you have to be out of your mind.
The Funhouse (1981)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/19
8/19:
Upon seeing Tobe Hooper's name as the director of The Funhouse, my initial expectations were set to low because he had
done nothing noteworthy besides that you-know-what-I-am-talking-about cult movie.
To my shock, he actually made a *gasp* genuine horror movie. Well, good job, Tobe. I've enjoyed The Funhouse which can
be scary at times. I also love the plot; it's a lot of fun. Yeah, there's the lack of originality in regard to Halloween
and Psycho at the beginning, but it would be better afterwards as soon as everybody is at the freak show carnival.
Headlined by Amadeus' Elizabeth Berridge, the cast has great chemistry. Sylvia Miles is a
trashy delight. The winner of the show is Kevin Conway who's familiar for playing Sgt. Buster Kilrain in
Gettysburg. Gunther in Frankenstein's monster mask is, of course, Leatherface. By the way, you'll notice a two-headed
cow and another one with a cleft palate. They do exist, and it's an unfortunate fact of nature.
All in all, Tobe Hooper made only two genuine horror movies: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and The Funhouse.
Funny Girl (1968)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
1/16
1/16:
Funny Girl is the film that made Barbra Streisand's career in Hollywood which netted her a well-deserved Oscar win for
Best Actress on first try.
As a matter of fact, Barbra Streisand ended up in a tie with Katharine Hepburn given she was a member of the Academy
and thus voted for herself; otherwise, she would've lost. As good as Barbra is in the movie, I don't like her character all
that much. There's a lot of "Oh, look at me. Am I so adorably cute?" Nah...no thanks. It has gotten to the point the film
is about Barbra Streisand at the apogee of her narcissism, therefore dragging the pace.
The color of Omar Sharif's hair looks positively ridiculous. Go back to being Sherif Ali, will ya, Omar? During the filming of
Funny Girl, he had an affair with Barbra Streisand which is a big surprise given the fact that they showed no chemistry on
screen. Another aspect I don't like is the musical. Plus, the interminably long running time doesn't help,
either. There's hardly a story, and the characters drop out like flies throughout.
All in all, there's too much of Barbra Streisand in Funny Girl.
Funny Lady (1975)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/16
3/16:
Because I am a completist, I had to watch Funny Lady, the sequel to Funny Girl that saw Barbra
Streisand winning the Oscar for Best Actress in a tie.
And believe me, I wasn't looking forward to it. Well, I hated every minute of the film. It's all about Barbra Streisand at
the height of her narcissism. Get over yourself already, Babs!
The plot makes no sense. Omar Sharif isn't in it that much, having been basically hung out to dry. Remember one of the
arguments that Fanny Brice had with Nicky Arnstein which is about not being there for their daughter. Well, excusez-moi, I've
never seen Fanny with her, either. Hell, where was the daughter the whole time in two pictures?
On the hand, James Caan gives a great performance and is the lone bright spot. That's why he's an excellent actor. However,
it's amusing to see him aged during the home stretch because he looks much worse in real life.
All in all, I thank James Caan for getting me through the hell that's called Funny Lady.
Fury (1936)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
4/14
4/14:
The first twenty minutes of Fury did force me to turn the TV off four times.
It's so bad, corny, and saccharine that I can't stop rolling my eyes. Afterwards, the pace is somewhat picked up
to get to the heart of the story. However, it's annoyingly manipulative as there are so many leaps in logic that the entire
story seems farfetched.
The court case incenses me, hence the title Fury. It has nothing to do with the facts or how I felt about either side.
Rather, my intelligence was being constantly insulted. I had thought of another film that's similar, and it's M. To my
no surprise, Fritz Lang also directed it. The ending is horrendous and thus a prime example of pure Hollywood hokum.
All in all, Fury is awful enough to deserve a place in my Worst Films List.
The Fury (1978)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/17
7/17:
The Fury is basically Carrie meets Scanners.
Let's be fair: it did come three years before Scanners, but think of the former as a rough draft and the
latter as a masterpiece. The plot meanders a lot, and the motives are never made clear. Many times, the linked threads
don't flow well together. More often gratuitous than necessary are the violent scenes. Character development is rarely
attempted. Serving as automatons to advance the action, people come and go without much thought.
Obviously the star of the show, Kirk Douglas has good moments but disappears for long stretches of time. He was 61 years old
and looked impressive for his age. Sometimes, I'm fooled thinking it's his son Michael, and I still can't get
over how uncanny their resemblance is.
John Cassavetes turns in a one-note performance. I'm surprised at him for accepting something this rubbish. He's better than
this shit. Was John behind his payments for a vacation home he wanted built in Greece or something? The ever wooden Amy
Irving can't go beyond her exquisite looks to be a multi-dimensional character. Simply put, her acting abilities are
hopeless. That's why she pulled the ejection handle by marrying Steven Spielberg before being granted a large sum of money for
divorce settlement.
A shameless Hitchcock rip-off artist, Brian De Palma didn't let me down in the last ten minutes when he finally found a way
to steal the cliffhanger scene from To Catch a Thief. Worse than that, Kirk Douglas' character decides to throw himself
over the roof for a poor reason. Hearing the cops' names when Spartacus held them as hostages, aren't they taken from Robert
De Niro and Martin Scorsese?
By the way, one of the cops may be familiar to you, and it's the newcomer Dennis Franz of NYPD Blue fame albeit
without his trademark mustache. Remember the scene when the schoolgirls were sitting on a table in the cafeteria? The
blonde girl right in the center is Darryl Hannah making her screen debut, too.
All in all, skip The Fury for Scanners.