N List of Movie Reviews
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The Naked City (1948)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/14, 10/19
6/14:
The Naked City is truly a cut above most motion pictures while taking advantage of the New York City environs.
It has a distinctive style that's a tour de force, especially how the scenes are shot in black and
white. It's pretty much The French Connection before there was
The French Connection.
A unique aspect is the step-by-step explanatory manner of how crime is solved which is wonderfully narrated by Mark
Hellinger. It's the venerable Barry Fitzgerald who guides me through how a detective thinks and processes information.
There's a detour here and there that rings true to life, making the picture fascinating.
All in all, there's nothing like The Naked City which is a solid, thrilling New York City film noir.
10/19:
"There are eight million stories in the naked city. This has been one of them."
So it goes in The Naked City, one of the better pictures in Jules Dassin's oeuvre that stands the test of
time which was shot on location in New York City. This has to be earliest film that touches upon police procedural:
the gathering of forensic evidence, the interrogation of suspects, and the beat aspect to canvass the city for
tiny morsels of information to solve a murder case.
Just because a person is good-looking doesn't automatically mean he's in the clear. Fact-checking goes a long way.
That much is found out through Frank Niles, Ruth Morrison, and Dr. Lawrence Stoneman, all complicit in the
murder of Jean Dexter who was only good for a 5-cent news story to keep the bored New Yorkers slightly awake for
six days.
The narration can be heavy-handed at times, but the cast is wonderful. Barry Fitzgerald is remembered the best
for this. Don Taylor, who'll go on to be a long-time director, looks like a mix of Gary Cooper and Alan Ladd
while Howard Duff makes for a great pathological liar.
All in all, The Naked City is the originator of the police procedural genre.
The Naked Gun (1988)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/03, 10/14
10/14:
Recently, I watched Police Squad! for the first time in my life despite the fact that I
had seen The Naked Gun trilogy plenty of times and was curious to know if the stuff was recycled.
What's nice is that it has a lot of fresh material as compared to the show. Instead of Alan North, it's George Kennedy who's
perfectly fine, but I prefer the other one more. It's too bad Johnny the Shoeshiner wasn't asked back because
he was the best supporting character.
Although it's been perceived that O.J. Simpson's appearance would sour the film because of the murders, the reality
is his character is tortured and forced to sniff Frank's fart through his butt which makes it all okay.
As funny as the movie is, there are many jokes that are good for big laughs. The lines are well-written and
subtle. The funniest scene is when Frank and Jane were running on the beach with their hands together and they knocked
down an approaching couple. Almost in a tie is Frank on the ledge with the nude statues. Unfortunately, the idea of an English
"queen" who's about to be assassinated doesn't have any impact on me. I wish the filmmakers would come up with a better plot.
All in all, The Naked Gun will never get old.
The Naked Gun 2½:
The Smell of Fear (1991)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/14
10/14:
The law of diminishing returns is at work here for The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear.
As the jokes decrease in quality, the more of a buffoon Frank Drebin needs to be. There's the noticeable lack of subtlety in
comedy that was the hallmark of Police Squad! The filmmakers had two years to work on
the sequel, and this was the best they could come up with?
Speaking of the TV show, if you remember Robert Goulet getting the "special guest star treatment," he's one of the
fewest to appear in any film of the Naked Gun trilogy.
I like the spoof of the idiot George Bush, Sr., which obviously shows that nobody was a fan of his work. Many jokes
fall flat, and when the funny ones come, there are no hard laughs from me. Remember the guy who held hostages
at gunpoint inside the police station before Frank opened the door which slammed on him? That's Weird Al Yankovic.
All in all, The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear pales in comparison to the original.
Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult (1994)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/14
10/14:
If I can remember anything about Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult, it's the appearance of Anna Nicole Smith.
Posing merely as eye candy, she's paid to be a sex object, kiss Leslie Nielsen at certain times, and keep
herself well-tanned while showing off her bust all the time. As for her acting ability, it's, of course, zero.
The second sequel is a complete detour from what Police Squad! was supposed to be about
as it aims for an increased amount of vulgarity and ribaldness. As a result, I didn't laugh throughout. There are no subtle or
clever jokes; they're instead obvious and forced with no depth...the kind I can see coming a mile away.
All in all, Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult is a sad conclusion of the
Police Squad! franchise.
The Naked Kiss (1964)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/14
6/14:
Coming fresh off Schlock Corridor which is a dreck picture of the highest order, I
began The Naked Kiss with great reluctance.
As expected, it's another tacky trash in Samuel Fuller's oeuvre. Although The Naked Kiss is a bit better than the
other one, it's wildly hokey that contains a lot of singing and pirate bullshit. Obviously, the director meant to
make it camp enough to be added to anyone's list of cult films.
The acting is amateurish, the direction is hammy, the editing is scattered, and the plot is laughably poor. I can't believe
how long one particular singing scene was, causing my mind to die.
Constance Towers, who was 30, looks twenty years older. By the time the revelation was made, it didn't seem significant, yet
Kelly has to kill the pervert to justify her disgust. Yeah, I believe that's murder in the first degree, no matter how everybody
slices it. The whole situation becomes manipulative and corny from thereon, further insulting my intelligence.
All in all, The Naked Kiss is piss-poor crap.
The Naked Spur (1953)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/08
12/08:
The Naked Spur isn't a great Western picture and is too much like
The Treasure of Sierra Madre.
The film tries to pin all of its hopes on the manipulatively bittersweet ending to excuse the time wasted
on frivolous scenes. That's why the appropriate title should be The Naked Snore.
James Stewart has a good moment or two. Janet Leigh is bland and forgettable. Robert Ryan refuses to shut up or stop laughing,
usually both at the same time. When I saw the river for the final climax, I thought of wanting to kayak there.
All in all, The Naked Spur snores and bores its way through for ninety-one minutes with a tired plot and unimpressive
performances.
Nancy Drew and
the Hidden Staircase (1939)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
8/07
8/07:
Sadly, Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase is the last of the Nancy Drew
franchise, but I'm happy to say it's been a lot of fun and enjoyable to watch.
Bonita Granville and Frankie Thomas are once again wonderful together. I'm a bit disappointed, although it's
unimportant, they didn't fall in love with each other.
Interestingly, Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase takes a dramatic turn and enters the territory that's
on the cult side. How the story unfolds is a delightful surprise. One aspect I like is how funny it is. A lot of credit goes
to Frankie Thomas who gives another high-caliber performance.
What Theodore Nickerson said about hauling ice which helps him to be stronger for football, it's true. That's exactly what the
Fighting Illini legend "The Galloping Ghost" Red Grange used to do. He worked part time as an ice toter, earning himself the
nickname "The Wheaton Ice Man."
All in all, they should've made more Nancy Drew movies.
Nancy Drew... Reporter (1939)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
8/07, 8/20
8/07:
Nancy Drew... Reporter is a big letdown not because of Bonita Granville and Frankie Thomas but because of the two
extremely annoying kids.
Really, there's no need for them. Nancy Drew and Ted Nickerson are enough. Everything else is very good, and it has a fast pace.
All in all, Nancy Drew... Reporter would be so much better if the two kids were cut out of the program.
8/20:
Nancy Drew... Reporter is a charming picture that's full of energy.
Bonita Granville and Frankie Thomas are fun to watch. However, the two little kids have to go! They slow down the momentum
and aren't necessary. The story is good, but it's not believable for the slightest bit because Nancy
Drew and Ted Nickerson look too young to pass for adults.
All in all, ignoring the two little kids, Nancy Drew... Reporter is a fast-paced family fun picture, thanks
to Bonita Granville and Frankie Thomas.
Nancy Drew... Trouble Shooter (1939)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
8/07, 8/20
8/07:
What a wonderful film Nancy Drew... Trouble Shooter is except it's terribly racist.
The show starts off slowly during the first half hour but takes off by the moment that Nancy Drew
brainstorms an idea of tracking down a murderer by following the trail of a rare tropical plant.
Quite honestly, I've never seen a movie like Nancy Drew... Trouble Shooter as it's so funny, enthusiastic,
simplistic, and ingenious. When I saw Bonita Granville with the brown hat, she reminded me of Indiana Jones.
Big thanks go to everybody for taking the two spoiled brats out of this film and making sure the focus is on Nancy Drew and
Ted Nickerson. Once again, Bonita Granville and Frankie Thomas are fun to watch, and they're outstanding. However, the
way the filmmakers made the black kid look mentally retarded is unforgivable.
All in all, Nancy Drew... Trouble Shooter is much better than the previous picture.
8/20:
Nancy Drew and Ted Nickerson are back for another round in Nancy Drew... Trouble Shooter.
Having cut out the two annoying kids from the last sequel, the movie is a lot better, retaining its charm from the original.
Obviously, the best part is the chemistry between Bonita Granville and Frankie Thomas. While the former may be the star,
it's really the latter who makes the charm work.
However, what's with the chicken-stealing black kid named Apollo? Racially stereotyped in the tradition of Stepin Fetchit, he
(Willie Best) looks sleepy and simple-minded. At one point, Apollo wore a white night cap, resembling
a KKK figure. Another is Nancy told him to go over the field and dig out the arbensis plant. Why couldn't she do it instead?
Elsewhere, the maid makes a stupid racist comment about giving poison ivy back to the Indians.
It makes little sense for Marley to set the nursery on fire when he only needs to steal the box of sales records.
Ditto for flying the two kids up in the air and then parachuting out of the plane. All Marley had to do is to smother them
quietly. While in the barn, Ted should've smashed the wood boards so he and Nancy can escape through the window.
All in all, Nancy Drew... Trouble Shooter is fun, but not giving Willie Best a proper character is the
biggest mistake of the film.
Nancy Drew... Detective (1938)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
8/07, 3/20
8/07:
Despite not having read any of the Nancy Drew books before, I expected a lame picture, but boy...was I pleasantly surprised.
I can consider Nancy Drew... Detective a great film noir, regardless of the fact that it's aimed toward
young teenage girls. The story is taut, has plenty of suspense, and is full of plain good fun.
Bonita Granville and Frankie Thomas are wonderful together and have great chemistry. Films nowadays will try to force a pair
like them to get sexually involved, but this one never does. That's what makes Nancy Drew... Detective so good because
it tells me a boy and a girl can have a platonic relationship.
All in all, Nancy Drew... Detective is a highly recommended film for kids and adults alike.
3/20:
Nancy Drew... Detective is a charming whodunnit mystery picture with great lines.
Bonita Granville and Frankie Thomas are excellent together and deserve Oscar nominations. It's difficult to beat their
chemistry. A lot of the action they generate is pure old-fashioned fun.
A couple of things bother me. How can a pigeon, or any bird at all, be tracked in the air by car? It's not possible for
miles and miles. The other is when the gunman missed Ted and fell off from the chair, he just passed out. Well, his head
must be weak.
If you heard Nancy saying, "I'll bet you $23.80...," that was the amount of a weekly paycheck made out to the WPA workers during the
Depression which was enough to pay the monthly rent. Eventually, it's converted into a betting joke.
All in all, Nancy Drew... Detective is a lot of fun for people of all ages.
Nanook of the North (1922)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
12/16
12/16:
I had been wary of seeing Nanook of the North for many years because of its notorious reputation as a
fake documentary.
Finally, I mustered enough strength to see it, although I knew the running time would be short, and my fears were pretty much
confirmed. Yep, the whole thing is a fraudulent. Hence, it's safe to say Robert Flaherty was truly the father of mockumentary.
What came to my mind the most every time some action would happen is that there's never a follow-through to ensure
continuity. It's just skilled editing to give the viewers a false feeling of seeing it for real.
One good example of what I'm talking about is the family members climbing out of the kayak. I have to call
bullshit on that because I'm sure the scene was done in a piecemeal with one person being inside the kayak and
then getting out of it before stopping the film to let the next one in and repeat the same procedure instead of doing it all at once.
I wonder if the audience was easily impressed or came away believing the mockumentary at the time. Here are
some of the fake elements that were also incorporated. The male protagonist's name wasn't
Nanook but Allakariallak. The females who played his wives were actually Robert Flaherty's common law wives, and their
names weren't Nyla and Cunayou. One was Alice, and the other's true name remains unknown to this day.
The characters depicted didn't live north of Canada. Allakariallak definitely knew what a gramophone was.
The Inuits stopped the practice of seal- and walrus-hunting long before then. In fact, they did so for good by
going modern with guns and motor-powered boats instead of harpoons and rowing with oars.
When Nanook was shown struggling with the rope, tugging it as hard as possible, from the ice hole to capture the seal, there was
a person on the other end of the line doing the work. The walrus that's being hunted wasn't alive at the point of
kill; it was already dead. The Inuits lived in houses, not igloos, and they wore regular clothes, not furs. During the igloo
scene, it was too dark to film inside the igloo, so a fake igloo had to be constructed in order for the family to pretend to go to
bed during daylight.
None of the shots was produced on first try; everything was repeated until it looked perfect on film. Many of the locals
didn't know how to do the stuff as shown, so Flaherty had an expert brought over to teach them how. Nanook didn't die of
starvation two years after the film was completed. Tuberculosis is probably what did him in.
All in all, Nanook of the North is a classic textbook example of Hollywood Bullshit 101.
Narc (2002)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
8/03, 6/17, 12/20
6/17:
The best part of Narc?
Ray Liotta. That guy will come after you and kick your balls while he's at it. As Detective-Lieutenant Henry Oak, he's
fun to watch and has great intensity in his eyes. By the way, Ray Liotta never grew a goatee before in his life, so he did
it for the film which serves his character well along with the black eyeliner. Also, according to IMDb:
"Ray Liotta gained 25 lbs. for the role by eating foods heavy in carbohydrates. Before he would shoot for the day, he prepared
by eating Chinese food because the soy in the food helps to retain water and give him that 'puffy' look. He also wore a fat
suit under his clothes at all times as well as prosthetic skin under his eyes to give him an aged baggy look."
Although it may look old hat for Jason Patric after doing the same thing in Rush, he's impressive
by countering Ray Liotta's dominating personality. His character tries hard to stay on the thin line between good and evil because
that's the nature of the job. Rooting for him is easy because it's so obvious that what Oak was doing is illegal and that there have
been many signals given off that he might be crooked after all although I wanted to believe in his goodness.
Both actors are the reasons for the film's success because they appear to be on the edge; in other words, it's old-school
acting with them feeding off each other. In fact, Ray Liotta and Jason Patric worked for nearly no money because they believed
in the project.
Narc reminds me of The Thin Blue Line because of how the incident keeps being
replayed with new details as it becomes more magnified. The difference is the latter was done through pure manipulation while the
former did no such thing, hence the '9' rating. What I don't like is the inconsistency in editing. It can be horrible at times.
There are many terrific scenes that look real and gritty. It's easy to feel the authenticity. Seemingly filmed on location in Detroit,
it was shot there for only one day while the rest was done in Toronto. Hence, they've done a good job for getting
away with it because I see no difference, really.
All in all, Narc is a tough, gritty policier that paints a honest look of what it's like to be an undercover
cop, and having Ray Liotta on board goes a long way.
12/20:
Narc is The French Connection all over again but with a definite ending.
This time, it's about police corruption à la Sidney Lumet with one veteran detective trying to pin the blame on black
thugs who look like easy targets for scapegoating purpose. Although shot on location mostly in Toronto, Canada, the Detriot landscape
is the perfect environment because it's literally nothing but urban decay there.
Ray Liotta is gangbusters as Henry Oak, doing pretty much whatever he wants to do to the point of breaking every police
procedure known to cops. It's Jason Patric's Nick Tellis who has seen enough (and me, too) and decides to put an end to it.
At any rate, he gives a strong performance as compared to Rush.
All in all, a gritty film that's almost similar to Training Day, Narc is enjoyable.
The Narrow Margin (1952)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
10/08
10/08:
The Narrow Margin...now, that's what I call a boring movie.
Being stuck on the train, roaming around the hallway, and staying trapped in compartmentalized rooms don't
pass for entertainment. The plot is dumb, and the characters aren't any better. My question to the good guys
is: why not stay inside the room during the entire trip? And for the bad guys: why not derail the train?
Every time the detective walks out of the room, he gives the bad guys a chance to get the girl. On the other hand, they should've
stayed outside of the door to listen for any sound to confirm their suspicions. Oddly, a few of the good guys (and a gal) winked at
the bad guys, and I thought they were all on the same side which turned out to be false. So, why am I being insulted over and
over?
How about that female cop who resembles Illeana Douglas? When she was killed, it's kind of interesting that nobody cared
afterwards compared to the detective taking the loss of Forbes' life rather hard. If she's a cop, then why not carry a
gun? Surely, she must know how to use it.
All in all, The Narrow Margin is a Hitchcockian wannabe picture.
Narrow Margin (1990)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
10/08
10/08:
Having seen Alfred Hitchcock's The Narrow Margin, why should I be surprised by anything
that happens in the remake?
Not only that, but they also try to differentiate it by dropping the initial article "the" from the title. Brilliant, guys...I'm
absolutely awed by your sheer genius.
Peter Hyams, who's the director, first got the idea of doing the movie by seeing the original on television. Brilliant stuff
again. Maybe I should do the same thing and pass myself off as a shameless rip-off artist. For the most part, the basic structure
is intact with some noticeable differences. But one thing remains constant: the plot is dumb as ever.
For the bad guys, why not derail the train? On the opposite side, why not jump out of the train during a
scheduled stop? If they must stay inside the train, then why not hide in the compartment the whole time?
One particular scene when the second bad guy, who killed Mr. Tarlow, was looking out through the window as Anne Archer's
character climbed to the top of the train, why not the deputy district attorney push him out of the window?
If there's anything impressive, it's the stunt work by Gene Hackman and Anne Archer atop the train. However, their acting
performances are passable. When Dr. Doogie Howser's father was on the roof and shot at the two lead characters, I
couldn't believe he missed them so badly.
All in all, Narrow Margin is a below-average remake.
Nashville (1975)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
8/21
8/21:
The best film about Nashville is *drum roll* Nashville.
It takes a while to get used to the odd format. Patience will pay off because the movie is so good that it's a
panorama of everything that occurs in the country-western music world. That being said, I couldn't tell if Robert Altman
was being factly or mocking the culture.
Regardless, it has one of the greatest ensemble casts ever which includes Ned Beatty, Karen Black, Ronee Blakley, Keith
Carradine, Geraldine Chaplin, Shelley Duvall, Allen Garfield, Henry Gibson, Scott Glenn, Jeff Goldblum, Barbara Harris, and
Lily Tomlin whose role was meant for Louise Fletcher, since she was born to deaf parents, who decided to go with
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest which won her an Oscar.
Some were first-timers in the film business. Having improvised a lot of the dialogue, many composed the songs for
Nashville which is one of the two main reasons why the real stars hated the movie because their stuff wasn't used
instead; the other is that they were made fun of.
Only Keith Carradine won the Oscar for his original song "I'm Easy." I think Ronee Blakley deserved it, too; it's just a terrific
performance as an emotionally fragile country singer, having been cast at the last minute. The Academy certainly missed out
on Allen Garfield and Henry Gibson for their supporting roles. Fantastic is the editing; so much work was done to balance
everything.
Of course, Nashville is about the music which comes in a constant stream while various characters with different motivations
are shown. What a tough job by Robert Altman to juggle them all in order to make the film work. The ending, after the assassination,
is interesting because the people can take away the power of what just occurred and let the positive dominate the scene.
All in all, Robert Altman's singular directorial achievement is Nashville.
National Lampoon's
Animal House (1978)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
National Lampoon's Animal House is one of the worst movies ever made.
That's why I don't feel sorry for anybody who has died from alcohol poisoning or a stupid fraternity/sorority "prank."
WTF is written all over the movie. There's not a single funny moment.
Look at John Belushi. He's a fucking idiot, and he died like a fucking idiot. Good fucking riddance.
All in all, National Lampoon's Animal House, along with sports and rape culture, represents everything that's wrong with
universities.
National Lampoon's
Christmas Vacation (1989)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/03, 5/06, 6/11
5/06:
Unusual and perfect for Christmas, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is an uproariously funny picture.
When I first saw the film at a theatre in 1989, I thought it would become the next
It's a Wonderful Life.
My prediction came true as it's probably the second most sought-after video of the holiday season.
Chevy Chase was funny in the 80's, but his comedy pictures have failed to stand the test of time. Hence,
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is the only one that does.
So many "comedy" films are offensive, gross, or sleazy to the point of being scatologically unwatchable for the family.
But not National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. This is as good as it gets.
There are memorable moments such as the crash landing on the Christmas tree lot, the sight of a dug-out tree, the
stickiness from the sap, Clark sporting a Jason hockey mask, the 25,000 twinkle lights plus the drum roll, the toboggan with
a slippery surface, Clark's comment about Eddie unloading his toilet into the storm drain, the cat spending all of nine lives
at once, Grace's passing away and the pledge of allegiance, "What's that sound? You hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound,"
the damage caused by the squirrel, the burned-down tree, the Jelly-of-the-Month club bonus, and Ellen protecting Clark's
crotch during the SWAT raid.
All in all, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is an instant Christmas classic as it delivers on the promise
that "YULE CRACK UP!"
6/11:
When National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation came out on video, it quickly became a mandatory viewing during every
holiday season just like how It's a Wonderful Life had been.
I still can't forget how funny the movie is: the wild incidents, the hilarious lines, and the sad-but-true moments.
Of all the National Lampoon movies, this is the only one that's worth watching.
Chevy Chase delivers the best performance of his career. He's perfect as Clark Griswold. So are Mae Questel and
William Hickey who play Aunt Bethany and Uncle Lewis, respectively. They're funny. By the way, it's Mae Questel's
final film of her career, and she was the voice of Betty Boop, going all the way back to 1930.
All in all, if you didn't find anything funny in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, then the definition of comedy
has been lost on you.
National Lampoon's
European Vacation (1985)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/06
2/06:
National Lampoon's European Vacation is much worse than the original.
Of course, it's directed by the awful Amy Heckerling, not Harold Ramis, who had been involved with many stinkers
such as Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Johnny Dangerously,
Clueless, and A Night at the Roxbury.
The number of jokes is way down, and if there's any, well...it's not funny. The actor for Russ is the most miscast of
all four films. What's the point of seeing Eric Idle many times in different foreign cities? Is he supposed to be special
or what?
All in all, National Lampoon's European Vacation is disappointing.
National Lampoon's
Loaded Weapon 1 (1993)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/08, 7/21
8/08:
National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1 is a painful movie to watch.
Comedy isn't the goal. It's everybody's quest of making me want to die as soon as possible. Many of these failed jokes
seem to have been made up by man-children who think that fart sounds are funny as hell.
I can't decide whether National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1 is a remake or a spoof of the
Lethal Weapon
franchise. Meanwhile, Emilio Estevez should be embarrassed of himself for sporting a ridiculous-looking hairdo.
Because the film didn't make enough money, plans for a sequel were canceled even though there was a poster with a tagline,
"Oh come ON, you knew it was coming!" Uh, not really.
All in all, National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1 is a dud.
7/21:
After watching the first three parts of Lethal Weapon, I thought I would check out
National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1.
The good news is I'm raising my rating from '1' to '2', and the bad news is the movie sucks so much. It appears everybody
doesn't know the definition of comedy. Forget the star-studded cast; everybody is hopeless. I thought I would see a marathon of
Lethal Weapon spoofs, yet there's hardly any. Instead, I'm given a bunch of references
to Cobra, The Silence of the Lambs,
Basic Instinct, Dirty Harry, and
Wayne's World, among others. Um, why?
All in all, the joke is on the people behind National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1 as plans to make a sequel never happened.
National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
8/05
8/05:
National Lampoon's Vacation is funny as hell but has a hard time canceling out the longueurs and tasteless moments.
The purpose is to demonstrate values by having the family together for a vacation. Unfortunately,
National Lampoon's Vacation is so immoral that I can't recommend it as a family-friendly picture.
Chevy Chase is great and funny. Bevery D'Angelo complements him well. However, John Candy's cameo is weak
and unnecessary.
All in all, if the tasteless scenes were excised from National Lampoon's Vacation, that would be nice.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
3/03, 2/06
2/06:
National Lampoon's Van Wilder is the sickest, grossest picture of the franchise.
From now on, I won't be watching any more of these films. I hate each and every character. They're all disgusting.
Why do I have to endure these terrible scenes?
All in all, I'd rather pour kerosene on National Lampoon's Van Wilder and light it on fire than watch it again.
National Velvet (1944)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/12
10/12:
What should've been a great film, National Velvet comes off as a major disappointment, mostly due to Mickey
Rooney and Donald Crisp.
The way Mickey Rooney acts is a pathetic midget trying to be a forty-year-old man. It's
hard to stomach. So does Angela Lansbury. For a nineteen-year-old girl, she looks to be in her 40's.
On the other hand, Donald Crisp...oy vey! Can his character be less pessimistic? He ruins the show.
Finally, the Grand National. Similar to the chariot race in Ben-Hur, it's by far the best part
of National Velvet. They also look authentic as the jockeys and their horses take a nasty spill after jumping over the
fence. However, there's so little of the race that I'm forced to watch Mickey Rooney's character tugging on a guy's clothes.
Apart from the race, the film is about Anne Revere's and Elizabeth Taylor's characters. They've done an outstanding job in the
acting department by bringing the best out of the material. It's a pity that the negatives have overshadowed their work. Honestly,
to this day, I've not seen a better performance by a child star this young like Elizabeth Taylor. Her character reminds me of
Lord Fauntleroy, but the sexually suggestive bit that she did on the bed, eh...I can do without.
All in all, despite the can't-miss cinematography, National Velvet needs better editing while Mickey Rooney is cut out.
The Natural (1984)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
3/12, 3/25
3/12:
I read The Natural by Bernard Malamud and saw the film, and I must say the latter is better and more
satisfying.
Robert Redford will always be Roy Hobbs. He's just perfect. His story is almost what if Mickey Mantle never
existed, hence "my life didn't turn out the way I expected." The Natural is a sports mythology film by
creating a legend out of Roy Hobbs.
All in all, The Natural is a one-of-a-kind baseball movie.
3/25:
"There goes Roy Hobbs, the best there ever was."
Robert Redford is big on mythology, and The Natural is the best example when it
comes to making a sporting legend. Of course, every line uttered by the characters is superficial and never big on
explanations. Instead, it's about the look, hence the Best Cinematography Oscar nomination for Caleb Deschanel, and
the feel that shouldn't be read too deeply.
There are many great moments such as the shooting at the hotel that ended Roy Hobbs' promise, the ball that's
knocked out of its cover, and the game-winning hit for the pennant title. Speaking of the first one, I suppose
the message of The Natural is "women are the root of all evil." One tried to kill
Roy Hobbs, and the other poisoned him. Imagine how much further he would've gone by avoiding them in general or
sticking with his childhood love.
There's a serious mistake, and it's when Robert Redford, aged 47 at the time, played a younger version of
Roy Hobbs. That's a bad idea. Just let somebody else, who happens to be a look-alike, do that for him. This way,
Max Mercy (Robert Duvall) will have a very hard time remembering the bet with the Whammer. On the other hand, some
have said the film was too long, but I think the running length is fine. It's all about the editing to tell an
absorbing story.
All in all, when you think of sports film masterpieces, The Natural should be in the forefront.
Natural Born Killers (1994)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
7/04, 10/06, 6/17, 3/22
10/06:
Talk about notorious.
Natural Born Killers is now forgotten, but once upon a time, it was the most controversial, talked-about film that
was very much in-your-face in terms of violence.
The filmmaking techniques used were shocking, allowing it to be fast-paced, frenzied, and brutal. Hence,
Natural Born Killers is the epitome of America and the mass media's insatiable fascination and lust for violence
and pornography.
Unfortunately, it's not a good movie, resembling more of an incoherent mess with many poorly shot scenes. If there's anything
that deserves an Oscar nomination, it's the editing, which is first-class, will either make or break anyone's viewing experience.
Woody Harrelson will always be famous for his association with Cheers and Natural Born Killers. Juliette Lewis
is at her baddest and scariest. Rodney Dangerfield's performance is the most shocking of them all.
All in all, there hasn't been anything like Natural Born Killers ever since.
6/17:
It's the editing that makes Natural Born Killers a highly impressive picture.
Other than that, there's not much to go on. The story is ridiculous, and it lacks substance for two hours. People are shot
up and still manage to look healthy and hale. The acting is okay. Only Tommy Lee Jones stands out the most. I'm
surprised he decided to go ahead with the role. So did Rodney Dangerfield who's different from what I'm used to.
Coca-Cola said it was okay to use their ad? Well, according to IMDb, "Coca-Cola approved the use of the Polar Bear
ads for its product in the movie without having a full idea of what the movie was about; when the Board of Directors saw
the finished product, they were furious." That's funny. And yep, they were real rattlesnakes.
All in all, sensationalistic at first, Natural Born Killers falls apart in the long run.
3/22:
Time has now been kind to Natural Born Killers.
It's outrageous with in-your-face editing, having a lot to say about the mass media. Woody Harrelson and Juliette
Lewis will always be well known as Mickey and Mallory Knox, a spree couple in the likes of Charles Starkweather and Caril
Ann Fugate. What's critical is having a dysfunctional childhood.
Funnily enough, Oliver Stone selected Woody Harrelson because "frankly, he had that American, trashy look. There's something
about Woody that evokes Kentucky or white trash." The rest of the cast is perfect: Tommy Lee Jones, Robert Downey, Jr., Rodney
Dangerfield, and Tom Sizemore, among others. Coca-Cola didn't know what the movie was going to be about and approved the use of
its polar bear ad.
The screenplay may have been originally written by Quentin Tarantino, but Oliver Stone redid most of it. There were a
lot of things going on prior to the mid 90's: the O.J. Simpson case, the Rodney King beating and the subsequent riot, the
Menéndez brothers, and Waco, Texas. It marked the beginning of the news media as a powerful giant, wanting
to exploit people's lives for ratings and therefore advertising dollars. At the same time, the criminals tried
get away with it by coming up with bullshit reasons when in fact they were guilty.
All in all, Natural Born Killers may be a controversial movie, but it's quite good.
Near Dark (1987)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/12
7/12:
I remember this trashy flick during the heyday of HBO, especially when the kid spray-painted the station wagon windows
all black.
After seeing it again, Near Dark is still the same typical vampire film that tries too hard to separate from the
pack but fails. In fact, I'm not sure what the fascination is with vampires, and
they still make these pieces of crap to this day. Is there anything so remotely interesting that I haven't seen before
since Bram Stoker wrote Dracula? It's like I have to have a checklist of vampire "do's and don'ts" for each film to make
sure it passes the eye test. But incredibly, Near Dark comes up short.
Let's talk about the sun first. The rays are so strong that they're capable of inflicting an extensive amount
of damage. That's why people are sunburned easily. Forest fires can be triggered at any moment's notice. A simple concentration
through eyeglasses on an object is enough to start a fire. It only takes eight minutes for the sunrays to reach Earth.
However, in Near Dark, it takes a long time to kill vampires. Their deaths should've been instant as in seconds,
not minutes. There are enough holes for the sun to come through, yet the vampires are still unaffected? Yeah, right. No matter
how much clothes cover a person, the sunrays are too strong to penetrate through, enough to kill a vampire within
seconds.
Now, we have the biggest rulebreaker of them all, and this one may take the cake for it. I've read the
book by Bram Stoker. Now, this is the original source, and there have been others before it. But this is the original.
Now, remember when Lucy Westenra was bitten and then laid on the bed. Then, Dr. Van Helsing and Lucy's potential
suitors drew up their arms for blood transfusion to save her life. It helped her stay alive yet did nothing to change
her back to a human being. But in Near Dark, the opposite actually happens! I'm surprised to see this.
Despite the logic problems, I was hoping the filmmakers acquired enough wisdom to understand the vampires' instinct
for survival. Therefore, having lived this long, aren't vampires supposed to plan ahead of time to prevent themselves from
being burned to a crisp instead of doing things at the last minute? Meanwhile, an interesting sight is the all-star cast from
Aliens: Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, and Jenette Goldstein. Michael Biehn almost came close
to be part of it, too. It has everything to do with Kathryn Bigelow who's James Cameron's ex-wife.
All in all, Near Dark is a wannabe vampire film that's strictly for near idiots.
Necessary Roughness (1991)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/05, 2/07, 6/20
2/07:
Remember...Andre does not eat raw meat 'cause Andre is a vegetarian.
Texas State University is located in San Marcos, but the name didn't exist in 1991. The first opponent for
Necessary Roughness is Southwest Texas State Unversity which was actually renamed Texas State University twelve
years later.
Today, it remains the only university in the state of Texas to graduate a U.S. President (Lyndon Baines Johnson).
The school that infamously received the so-called death penalty was Southern Methodist University. But today, it's no longer
applicable, no matter how egregious the crimes are, because the NCAA officials are too fucking weak and blind by money to try to.
College, professional, or somewhere in between, Necessary Roughness is probably the funniest football picture I've
seen. I still remember many scenes and characters to this day. There are a number of moments that are absurd, but
I assure you they're true today as far as cheating goes. Hence, it's why The Program is a
perfect illustration of what actually goes on in the big-time college football world.
The best part is the collection of performances from many actors including Scott Bakula, Héctor Elizondo, Robert Loggia, Larry
Miller, Sinbad, Peter Tuiasosopo, Rob Schneider, Jason Bateman, Duane Davis, Kathy Ireland, and Michael Dolan. My favorite
scene is when Robert Loggia gave a halftime speech before proceeding to tear off his clothes and then getting everybody to
pray together afterwards.
The other is the busload of felons who have come to play a scrimmage game against Texas State (really North Texas
University), and they include Dick Butkus, Tony Dorsett, Herschel Walker, Earl Campbell, Evander Holyfield, Roger Craig, Ed
"Too Tall" Jones, Jim Kelly, Jerry Rice, Randy White, and Ben Davidson who changed football history when he made an
absolutely dirty play. Then, they beat the shit out of the college players before the guard let out a shotgun blast.
There are great lines such as "You're hurt. You're tired. You're bleeding. I'm gonna make you a promise. We get into
that endzone, you're not gonna feel any pain," "If I wanted a big brother, I wouldn't have killed mine," "I don't feel so
good. I think I swallowed a finger," "Okay, show us the arm, son," "Don't throw it to stone hands!," "Boy, you and me gonna
party!," "If this wasn't friggin' astro-turf, I'd dig a grave for myself," and "Welcome to foot, BALL!"
Speaking of games, which is supposed to be ten in all, I only got to see the first, the penultimate, and the final.
Wow, how about more, pretty please? I love the final play which ties a wide receiver with the dummy at the beginning of
the film by their identical jersey number.
All in all, as clichéd as the picture is, Necessary Roughness is entertaining from start to finish.
6/20:
Necessary Roughness is still the funniest football picture I've seen.
My favorite two lines are: "We'll be the laughingstock of college football" and "What do you think we are now?"
My thoughts, exactly. Memorable characters, strong script, plenty of laughs, and solid acting are the key ingredients to
make the film a winner. Many are excellent: Scott Bakula, Héctor Elizondo, Robert Loggia, Peter Tuiasosopo, Sinbad,
and Tom Whitenight, among others. The funniest is Michael Dolan as Eric "Samurai" Hansen.
Harley Jane Kozak and Larry Miller pair up again after appearing in The Favor while Andrew
Bryniarski and Duane Davis did The Program. It's a rare chance to see Rob Schneider acting
normal, and he has good lines, too. Another favorite of mine is the random scrimmage game with a team of convicts that's made up
of many all-time great NFL players: Jim Kelly, Roger Craig, Earl Campbell, Dick Butkus, Herschel Walker, Ben Davidson, Jerry Rice,
Randy White, Ed "Too Tall" Jones, and Tony Dorsett. Oddly, the only non-NFL player among them is Evander Holyfield.
All in all, Necessary Roughness is still one of the best football pictures made.
Needful Things (1993)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/14
4/14:
Needful Things has an interesting concept to show off.
It's amusing to think of the irony when Father Merrin went from exorcising the Devil from Regan MacNeil to becoming the
Devil himself. But what the hey...it works. Max von Sydow shows what a great actor he is. Everybody else isn't bad, either.
Bonnie Bedelia's presence is strange. Was she cast to show off her sex appeal? If that's so, I must say it worked because
Father Merrin wanted her more than anyone else alive.
As for the film, I'm surprised at the liberal use of profane words. I'm not saying that I was offended, but it's been done in
the presence of Max von Sydow and he's saying a lot of them, too. The chief reasons for the rating of '7' are that the plot
feels overdone and that it's a half-hour too long.
One troubling aspect is it seems to convey the message that everybody deals with an atrocious situation in the
same manner which isn't reflective of how people do in real life. Some might be mawkish and do nothing about
it; others will go to the police and report the matter; and seeking a lawyer and filing a civil lawsuit is a third option.
Such approaches are endless, but how things went down in the film is too simplistic for me to believe.
All in all, as much as I liked Needful Things, the long running length finally got the best of me.
The Negotiator (1998)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/09
7/09:
Despite the flaws early on, The Negotiator is an excellent picture that's full of thrills and suspense.
So, kudos to James DeMonaco and Kevin Fox for coming up with the story. Of course,
it starts with two great stars: Kevin Spacey and Samuel L. Jackson. They're always fun to watch.
During the first forty-five minutes, I was annoyed by the low quality of camera work with heavy reliance on impressions. Soon
thereafter, the course dramatically changed with Samuel L. Jackson becoming a tour de force, especially when he asked Farley
a "spanking" question and did this thing with his eyes as if he's back to playing Jules Winnfield.
Of course, Kevin Spacey can't be discounted because he did his part convincingly well which helped balance the show. When
the two stars worked together, I forgot about the long running length and started to savor their performances.
Another flaw is how secondary the wife was when I kept in mind how important she's supposed to be for Samuel L. Jackson's
character. Yet the director has done an admirable job of keeping everybody as suspicious as possible, causing me to guess
until the end which is to say the movie isn't predictable in any way, shape, or form.
All in all, The Negotiator is a superb piece of work that plays out like a chess match.
The Net (1995)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/10
9/10:
The internet was fast in 1995?
Ha! It wasn't. This one was directed by Irwin Winkler. Hm, that's interesting. The same Irwin Winkler who
produced They Shoot Horses, Don't They?, Rocky,
Raging Bull, and Goodfellas?
Yep, sure enough, it's him, but this time, he's stepping away from Robert De Niro to see if he could do it.
The tagline on the movie poster for The Net reads, "Her driver's license. Her credit cards. Her bank accounts. Her
identity. DELETED." To be honest with you, I wish that included Sandra Bullock, too. Who can believe a computer geek, who
spends most of her time holed up in a house without interacting with people outside, would be this pretty? That's the most
implausible part. By the way, if you take a gander at the movie poster again, Sandra Bullock's nose looks similar to Michael
Jackson.
Many times, given the movie was made in 1995, I'm surprised to see how fast the internet connection and, more
importantly, the upload speed were. Back then, most people used dial-up modem connection. Hello! IT WAS FUCKING SLOW!
We're talking about speeds like 9.6K to 56K bit/sec. Today, the average is approximately 3.9 megabits per second. What takes
minutes today would've been days, weeks, and maybe never in 1995. Hence, that's the second most implausible part.
The easiest way to prove Angela's identity is to produce a yearbook of the high school she attended unless she disappeared
into a black hole which isn't possible. Another is her dental records. Mind you, not everything was electronically
stored prior to 2000. Most companies used paper records. That's the third most implausible part.
All in all, The Net is a total clunker.
Network (1976)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
3/04, 12/08, 7/15
12/08:
Network is a brilliant satire about the world of television.
The quality of acting is at its zenith as William Holden, Faye Dunaway, Peter Finch, Robert Duvall, and Ned Beatty
give powerful performances. Even more so is the masterful script penned by Paddy Chayefsky that sounds TV-speak. It's
an ironical play on morality that's prescient about the coming of the news media for the 21st century.
All in all, Network is a first-rate masterpiece.
7/15:
Network is the one that Peter Finch, as Howard Beale, famously yelled, "I am as mad as hell, and I am not going to
take this anymore!"
It may have been an extreme film in 1976, but it's prescient about the decline of quality in television programming which
has been ongoing since the late 90's. It's not about selling what the producers think it's right but what the audience want
to see, no matter how crude the product is. The result is trash that exists on TV as long as the ratings are good enough to
bring in the sponsors along with their fat wallets. Even news channels are affected (look no further than CNN and Fox News).
Hence, with the exception of TCM, it's impossible to find anything good on TV nowadays.
The thing with such hits that were done for the purpose of shock value is that the novelty wears off quickly. That's why it's
hard to keep a hit show going for more than one or two seasons unless it keeps reinventing itself on a weekly basis. If
the formula is the same for every episode, it'll get tiresome. To name a few that fell into this trap are
The Jerry Springer Show, The Morton Downey Jr. Show, and Maury.
In Network, the performances are brilliantly rendered. It's Faye Dunaway who gives the best as the plastic TV junkie
producer, and she owns the role. Hence, when I saw Broadcast News, I was like, "Huh?"
in regard to Holly Hunter's character. I know a lot of people are taken by Peter Finch's final cinematic performance, but
honestly, William Holden tops him by a great deal. He's just perfect. The way his character delivered the TV talk to Diana
Christensen to stay on the same page with her language-wise is an icing on the cake of who she is.
Ned Beatty deserved to be Oscar-nominated as Mr. Jensen, and he has a great scene when his character tried to talk sense to
Beale and thus succeeded at it. Robert Duvall is memorable. Oddly, Beatrice Straight won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress
for her five minutes of screen time. But you might ask, "Who is she? I don't remember her in it." She played Max
Schumacher's wife. Gee whiz...that's going too far because she only had one scene, having no discernible influence in
the grand scheme of things.
All in all, thanks to the great performances and quality writing, Network is about how far the TV people will go to sell
their souls to generate high ratings.
Nevada Smith (1966)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
4/08
4/08:
Buoyed by rich cinematography, Nevada Smith is a solid Western picture yet with less-than-satisfying results.
The story isn't bad but feels like it went through the motions. No matter what, I've been able to stay interested from start
to end. Once again, Steve McQueen gives a good performance in an unusual role although it's not among his best stuff. He's
better in other Westerns such as The Magnificent Seven,
Junior Bonner, and Tom Horn.
When Steve McQueen reached the Louisiana bayou, I thought that's maybe how he prepared himself for
Papillon. Also, he does a great job with the stunts although his scene with the priest may
have looked out of place. At the same time, I like how much attention is paid to horses as a mode of transportation just
like how people are with cars nowadays.
It's just that the story needs to be further refined with greater intensity on drama and emotion. Moreover, there should be
more character development. I don't like how the film ends as it lacks closure and therefore meaning.
Meanwhile, Karl Malden and Brian Keith, who's more of a winner, turn in excellent performances to give the film a good
deal of energy. Throughout, there are plenty of pretty women, but a few look unrealistic. Then again, I might be too focused
on Suzanne Pleshette who doesn't look convincing as Pilar.
All in all, Nevada Smith is worth a try for Steve McQueen's fans.
Never Cry Wolf (1983)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
12/24
12/24:
If I met Charles Martin Smith one day, I would say, "You appeared in one of the greatest movies ever made."
He might think, "Oh, yeah. American Graffiti?" "No, not that." "Oh,
The Untouchables then." "No..." "Hm, which one was it?" The answer is
Never Cry Wolf. What a completely forgotten film from 1983 that's brilliantly directed by Carroll Ballard
which took two years to make.
Not many motion pictures are as deeply haunting as this one. To depicit the Arctic
wilderness, the whole thing was shot on location in Alaska and Yukon and British Columbia, Canada. The
cinematography is thoroughly outstanding. What a surprise that Hiro Narita wasn't recognized by the Academy
Awards for it.
Based on Farley Mowat's book, the story is powerful without the need to rely on words. It's about nature and
adventure in the spirit of The Man Who Would Be King. As a bonus,
wolves, caribou, and mice are featured a great deal. Not many would have pulled off an exceptional performance like
how Charles Martin Smith did. He's just perfect for the role. There are strong scenes, but the best one is when
Charles Martin Smith ran with the caribou which reminded me of the buffalo hunt in
Dances With Wolves, having taken a month to film.
All in all, never forget what Brian Dennehy's character said, "And how do you beat boredom, Tyler? Adventure.
Adventure, Tyler," and the result is Never Cry Wolf.
Never Say Never Again (1983)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
9/14
9/14:
I was with Never Say Never Again until North Africa.
Then, the energy got extinguished for the rest of the way. So, it's a nice try, but the movie is too long.
When the going is good, it's funny, featuring a surprise cameo by then unknown Rowan Atkinson who's famous today as Mr. Bean.
Everybody, especially Sean Connery who was the best James Bond and looked great for 52, does a good job. Barbara Carrera, a
Nicaraguan actress whom I've never seen before, is pretty as Fatima Blush. The legend is that she turned down
Octopussy,
which was produced during the same year, because she wanted to work with Sean Connery, not Roger Moore. That being said,
she made a wise move, being granted lovemaking scenes with Sean Connery which probably made her life. Another legend
is that Steven Seagal was the martial arts instructor for the film and broke Sean Connery's wrist during training.
Sean Connery once said he would never appear in a James Bond movie again but did so for the seventh time after a twelve-year
absence, hence the title Never Say Never Again. Also, you should feast your eyes on his clean-shaved face because
it's the final film that he'll appear this way. Meanwhile, Klaus Maria Brandauer is okay for a Bond archvillain,
but toward the end, he becomes forgettable. Ditto for Kim Basinger.
All in all, Never Say Never Again should've been the best Bond picture ever made, but the North Africa segment has
my head shaking in disappointment.
Never So Few (1959)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/06
2/06:
Apart from the fact that it's Steve McQueen's first major Hollywood picture, Never So Few is extremely boring.
Gina Lollobrigida? I never heard of her, and she's terrible in it! Of course, Gina Lollobrigida won a bunch of awards in Italy
only because she's a knockout. Other than that, she seems incapable of mastering the art of acting.
Meanwhile, I'm disappointed in Frank Sinatra for choosing the project. He could do a lot better. But to his credit, Frank Sinatra
endorsed Steve McQueen by letting him take over the show because he knew he would be a star one day. This stinker was directed by
John Sturges, but not to worry, he would take Steve McQueen to Germany and give him the chance to become an international star
overnight because of the famous motorcycle scene in The Great Escape.
All in all, Never So Few runs too long and has tame battle scenes.
Never Talk to Strangers (1995)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
12/08
12/08:
I guess the crap has hit the fan.
Since the film is about trust, then why not title it as Never Trust Strangers? Rebecca De Mornay gets
her money's worth by appearing naked alongside the Latin lover Antonio Banderas. It doesn't matter if the situation is too
dangerous for her character. All she wants to do is jump in bed with him.
Antonio Banderas makes the viewing experience cringeworthy. Harry Dean Stanton is hammy as usual. Dennis Miller brings back
bad memories from Monday Night Football. The movie is made worse when I'm forced to follow the harebrained story to the end.
The F bomb is finally dropped on my head when the ending comes, making it easy for me to give
Never Trust Strangers a rating of '1'.
Director Peter Hall tries too hard to make it look slick while there are doses of poor camera work throughout.
How implausible is the initial meeting between Tony Ramirez and the psychologist? It turns out to be a dead giveaway that
something is amiss.
All in all, Rebecca De Mornay got what she wanted out of Never Trust Strangers, and I'm blessfully happy for her.
The NeverEnding Story II:
The Next Chapter (1990)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
Didn't I see this before already?
Is the plot in The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter the same as the original?
Films shouldn't be treated like a chore, but this one feels like it.
The acting is all right, and the set design looks better than The Wizard of Oz. Yet the
story is silly as ever. The first fifteen minutes looks like a bad Mentos commercial.
I don't understand why everybody from the original has been replaced. Maybe it's an attempt to fool
me into thinking that this one was going to look new and different when it's in fact recycled material from the original.
All in all, The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter never seems to end, but thank goodness, it does end.
The NeverEnding Story III (1994)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
If a criminal feels compelled to use the insanity defense, I won't be surprised if it's centered around having seen
The NeverEnding Story III.
In fact, I encourage it. Bastian sucks. Falkor sucks. The rock baby sucks. The tree trunk character sucks. The little
people suck. The sister sucks. Everybody sucks. I feel like pulling the cord as fast as I can to get my
lawn mower revving, so I can get rid of the middle portion of Jack Black's eyebrows.
Every time something happens, I'll ask myself, "Will the big, heavy rock please fall on my head now?" My eyes still feel
weary from the constant abuse of the back-and-forth zoom effect.
How is it possible that Bastian escaped from his house only to find himself in the middle of a Chinese New Year during October?
When the Nasties took possession of the book and the Auryn, why wasn't anything happening? I'm surprised to see the
leader of the Nasties could read considering the fact that he and his gang members failed grade school many times.
All in all, I offer my congratulations to everybody because The NeverEnding Story III is absolutely one of the worst
movies made.
New Jack City (1991)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
11/03, 7/07, 11/14, 7/18, 2/21
7/07:
When I think of the black woman running across the screen in the middle of a gunfire fight, I think of New Jack City.
Obviously, the movie is style over substance. That much is evident during Scotty's chase after Pookie who rides away
in his BMX. The message is: the justice system is a failure and the courts are powerless to stop
drug lords. So, what to do? Do it the New Jack way: blend in first and shoot them at the end while looking cool.
Meanwhile, Wesley Snipes is the cynosure. Impossible to overlook, he, as Nino Brown, doesn't have to speak; all he
has to do is look cool with a Kangol hat (this is way before Samuel L. Jackson started doing it) and be draped in heavy
gold jewelry. I've never been a fan of Chris Rock, but he's good as Pookie. Ice-T's electrifying performance is
largely the reason why.
All in all, thanks to the costume design and cinematography, New Jack City is a fast-paced stylish picture with
superb music.
11/14:
New Jack City is The Godfather of black cinema.
There's an edge to it that exudes style through the captivating storytelling and hard-to-beat editing. The most powerful
scene is the drug bust which set Scotty off on foot chase, going after Pookie who rode away on
his BMX. How it's aerially shot is beautiful, bringing in a gangsta New Jack feel that'll dominate the tone of the film.
Wesley Snipes' best career performance is Nino Brown as the city's most-feared drug lord. It's hard to take eyes
off him. Right behind him, Ice-T deserves an equal share of credit for providing plenty of punch,
and he's awesome in many scenes.
All in all, Mario Van Peebles puts the letter H in the word "hip" for New Jack City, making it a compelling and
memorable film.
7/18:
New Jack City continues to be an underrated hip-hop gangster picture of the blaxploitation genre.
It should've netted some Oscar nominations: Best Actor for Wesley Snipes, Best Original Screenplay, Best Original Score,
Best Costume Design, and Best Editing. When I think of New Jack City, I think of the style, the lyrics, the clothes,
and Wesley Snipes as Nino Brown. There are many good performances, but it's hard to overlook Ice-T who's responsible
for setting the tone of the film, especially when he chased Chris Rock on BMX during the drug bust.
All in all, making for a fast, easy watch, New Jack City represents the blaxploitation genre very well.
2/21:
A highly stylized gangster picture, New Jack City is so fast-paced that the movie is over before I know it.
Nino Brown is the best character of Wesley Snipes' career. He's arresting and captivating to watch. His defining
scene is when Nino Brown confronted Gee Money and made an irrevocable "it's business, never personal" decision, forever
painting himself as a cold-blooded person. Using the crack epidemic that ravaged New York City during the late 80's and
early 90's, it's the perfect backdrop for a black drug lord like Nino Brown to make his presence known.
Everybody else, especially Ice-T and Chris Rock, is uniformly excellent in a hip-hop way. The soundtrack is fantastic.
I also like the clothes; they're perfect for the time, especially the high amount of gold jewelry draped among
the characters. It's almost a revival of the blaxploitation genre from the 70's. How the film got green-lit
is according to IMDb:
"Mario Van Peebles had formed a friendship with Clint Eastwood when the pair made
Heartbreak Ridge. When Van Peebles
took the New Jack City screenplay to Warner Bros., the studio was interested in the material, but weren't keen on
having an unknown as the director/lead actor. Eastwood personally vouched for Van Peebles and told Warner Brothers to
'give the kid a shot.' The success of the film launched Van Peebles's directing career."
All in all, New Jack City is an outstanding film, and the always likeable Wesley Snipes has never been badder.
The New Janitor (1914)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
5/07
5/07:
Just like the rest of Charlie Chaplin's films, The New Janitor is boring, unfunny, dry, and pointless.
Everything is repeated ad nauseam. Watching Chaplin's pieces of shit makes me want to throw a cement block at my 56-inch TV
and see it explode. To this day, I'm sincerely befuddled when it comes to those who thought Charles Chaplin was funny back then.
All in all, nothing, I mean absolutely nothing, works in The New Janitor.
New Jersey Drive (1995)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/11
12/11:
I'm a sucker for black ghetto pictures because they're always captivating.
New Jersey Drive seems to have the "it" factor but falls short of stepping up to the plate. The best part
is the authenticity of the atmosphere although it's not in the same league as
Straight Out of Brooklyn.
Although it showcases a recurring cycle of grand auto theft, arrests, and getting out of jail, many viewers may find the
whole thing hard to believe, but the reality is that car thieves are often leniently punished because of overcrowded jails
and prisons.
When somebody dies as a result of joyriding, the situation dramatically changes. For example, last summer, a
14-year-old Philadelphia boy named Winston Charleston took his mother's car overnight without her permission and engaged
police in a high-speed chase. At the end, he crashed into another vehicle, killing a 22-year-old driver. As a result,
he received a light four-year sentence to be served in reform school.
The incidents shown in New Jersey Drive aren't just confined to black ghettos. It's happening everywhere in the
country. That's why you see high-speed chase videos on TV. The driver is usually in his early teens. Just like
in 1995, Newark remains the stolen car capital of New Jersey. Once upon a time, it was the number one in the nation.
What's unrealistic is the overt police brutality. The cops are white. There's no drug dealing going on among the blacks. With
the exception of the van scene, the ending is as contrived as it gets. By the way, is that Heavy D? He just passed away last month.
All in all, if you want to have fun stealing cars, you're better off seeing New Jersey Drive.
New Nightmare (1994)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
10/06
10/06:
All the more reason to think of Wes Craven among the worst directors in the annals of horror cinema, New Nightmare
is a waste of time because all it does is to rehash the same stuff from his previous films.
He's just flogging a dead horse. In New Nightmare, a talk show host claimed that the last five
A Nightmare on Elm Street films were popular. Well, let me tell you a fact:
they all suck, having been long forgotten.
The worst part is the parade of annoying characters. It begins with the stupid moron boy who consistently fails to master
the art of acting. If it's not him, it's the black nurse. If it's not her, it's Wes Craven. If not him, it's Robert Englund.
If not him, it's Freddy. If not him, it's his horrible-looking makeup. If it's not that, it's Heather. If not her,
it's...ah, you get the point.
All in all, given the running length of two hours, New Nightmare is a chore to sit through.
New Year's Evil (1980)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
4/15
4/15:
There can be many variations of a slasher film, but there's no reason to explore them all.
That's the case with New Year's Evil. It might be the most pointless horror movie I've seen in a while.
The killer is revealed very early, and there are no interesting characters worth caring about. Not even the neglected son can
muster enough pity from me. His transformation, after seeing his father laid dead on the asphalt parking lot, suggests
there's a second part in the works, but thankfully, it never materialized.
The lead actor, Kip Niven, sports an uncanny resemblance to Steve Railsback who's known for playing Charles Manson
in Helter Skelter. Hence, it's easy to be confused by these two. On the other hand,
Roz Kelly showcases some of the worst makeup I've ever seen on an actress. She should've adhered to the following adage: "Less
is more." Plus, her acting is the pits.
Although the pace is okay for most of the time, it's the last twenty minutes that loses me for good. And what happened to
the concept of killing a person at the stroke of midnight per time zone? It seems to be abruptly dropped at some point.
Amusing is the detective telling Blaze everything pertinent to the investigation. Here are two words: "Never happens."
All in all, New Year's Evil is a by-the-numbers slasher flick that's riddled with bad acting and third-rate dialogue.
New York Stories (1989)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/16
5/16:
An anthology film, New York Stories features three different stories with each directed by Martin Scorsese,
Francis Ford Coppola, and Woody Allen, but only the first is worth watching.
Life Lessons: Nick Nolte is brilliant. The style used in the story is a Scorsese classic. He'll repeat it in
Goodfellas and Cape Fear with tremendous results.
Rosanna Arquette is perfect as the weary assistant. This one is a '9'.
Life Without Zoë: Does Francis Ford Coppola think I'm that fucking stupid? This short film was obviously conceived
by Sofia. Her father just lent his name for credibility. What a colossal waste of time to sit
through this rubbish piece of shit. It's a deserving '1'.
Oedipus Wrecks: I hate Woody Allen's films with passion, and this one is no different, hence my rating of '1'.
All in all, you only need to watch the first segment of New York Stories.
The Next Karate Kid (1994)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/13
4/13:
I've had it with The Karate Kid franchise.
This is the worst of them all. If you told me in 1994 that Hilary Swank would win two Oscars, I would've laughed and
called you a goddamn liar. But she did. By the way, I never knew it was her when I saw
Boys Don't Cry only to find out afterwards. It's no disrespect to Hilary Swank because I
consider her a fine actress, but she's not in The Next Karate Kid.
Anyway, there are many contradictions that I feel peeved to have seen the entire debacle. Miyagi says he doesn't
believe in war, fighting, and whatever, yet he fought in World War II. At the end, he repeats the same sentiment, yet he
battled the stupid drill instructor.
The drill instructor beating up his students during practice so he can show off his skills is enough to be dismissed from
school. Also, there should've been a follow-up of the police investigation for assault and battery charges. No self-respecting
principal will stand for the incident because it's illegal, blatant, stupid, and pointless.
Remember the moment during the prom when several "boys" bungee-jumped from the ceiling? Uh, explain to me the idiocy of the
whole scene. Oh, yeah. I like the part when Eric's nice-looking Oldsmobile was firebombed which should be enough to
involve the police. Hey, is it me, or do the "boys" with black shirts resemble an HJ gang?
Hiding out with the monks, Miyagi proceeds to teach Julie karate as if the whole thing looks like she's preparing for a
war. Does it contradict the monks' beliefs? By the way, notice them eating plants. Correct me if I'm
wrong: because they don't believe in killing living things, aren't plants in the same category, too?
After the grandmother left the house to Miyagi, why is she never seen again? Notice Julie keeps breaking into
school during nights, so she can tend to her hawk. So, why not bring the hawk home and provide it with shelter and food? Will
that be painfully simple? At the end, Julie says she needs to fight to have an ounce of self-respect, but is not
fighting good enough, too? Afterwards, has she proved anything? The answer will be a resounding "no."
All in all, only a total idiot will like The Next Karate Kid.
Next of Kin (1989)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
9/08, 2/25
9/08:
Ah...yes, Next of Kin.
That film with Patrick Swayze and his gang of hillbillies, I sure remember after seeing it many years ago. The best memory I
have is the silly, crazy shootout at the cemetery. Well, Next of Kin is still dumb as ever. One thing I didn't realize
is the interesting cast of now-known thespians: Liam Neeson, Adam Baldwin, Helen Hunt, Bill Paxton,
Michael J. Pollard, Ben Stiller, and Ted Levine.
To start with the first problem, Bill Paxton looking like a hillbilly doesn't work. Second, the film has no
energy. Things just happen. Third, Patrick Swayze doesn't fit the mold of a real hillbilly. And Liam Neeson as one of them?
Jeez, what a thought. Honestly, the filmmakers should do everybody a favor by finding real ones like how it was done for
Deliverance. Fourth, the cops are better off handling the investigation.
Fifth, the gunfight battle between the hillbillies and the Mafia stupidos is absurd. Sixth, it takes place at
the cemetery! What is this...Phantasm? Seventh, the part when the guy drove his bus that's
full of snakes from Kentucky to Chicago is taking it too far. He should've left most of them at home and brought only
one which is always enough to scare anybody.
Eighth, the blond-haired guy who brought his team of hound dogs to sniff for the bad guys. Um...why? Ninth, for some
hillbillies, bows and arrows are used instead of guns. Tenth, after all is said and done, everybody gets away with
a bunch of murders before going back home. Really? Eleventh, the name Lawrence Isabella sounds feminine; hence,
what Mafia boss' son is named that?
All in all, if you want to laugh at actors pretending to be hillbillies, Next of Kin will do.
2/25:
You got to love the hillbillies-vs-the-Mafia angle in Next of Kin.
It's one of those movies that the main star got all of the attention at the time yet the supporting cast became
famous in the long run. Patrick Swayze may look believable for a hillbilly, but Liam Neeson has him beat despite
being born in Northern Ireland. I like the story, and Adam Baldwin as Joey Rosselini makes for a formidable villain.
All in all, Next of Kin is always easy to watch.
Nick of Time (1995)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/12, 8/21
10/12:
In many ways, Nick of Time resembles The Manchurian Candidate.
But the latter is the superior film in every aspect. Nonetheless, Nick of Time is good fun. It's Christopher
Walken's show as he steals every scene and makes it even more amusing by beating the hell out of Johnny Depp. Christopher Walken
has a classic movie moment when he silently said "motherfuck" after throwing Johnny Depp over the glass railing.
Johnny Depp does a decent job, and not a lot of depth is required from him. However, the film gets points off for the
unnecessary "stylized" camera work during the first half. But it'll stop, allowing things to get back to normal afterwards.
All in all, Nick of Time should be watched for Christopher Walken's sake.
8/21:
Nick of Time is a catchy political thriller that's somewhat in the same league as
The Manchurian Candidate.
The best part is Christopher Walken physically torturing Johnny Depp. Other than that, everything has been predictable which is
capped off with an implausible ending. The hard part is putting up with the terrible camera work for a long while. Finally, it
stops, and the show becomes tolerable again thereafter. I don't get why some scenes, especially in the train station, have to be
so dark.
What saves Nick of Time from not working is the cast. Many do a great job. Johnny Depp gets credit for moving things
along. Of course, Christopher Walken is the show. His character is a lot of fun to watch, but I can't believe how he is easily
killed since he's too much of a pro to allow it to happen to him.
All in all, although not a great movie, Nick of Time is mildly entertaining.
Night and the City (1950)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/16
6/16:
Undeservingly ranked among great films noirs, Night and the City is neither slick nor sharp enough to keep
me interested.
If not for Richard Widmark, it's a safe bet that the movie would be forgotten nowadays. Richard Widmark steals the
show, and he's the star. His performance as the sad, tragic criminal is flawless, almost receiving sympathy from me.
Yet the way he turned into a snake, selling himself out to be killed for 1,000 pounds, says everything about his character.
Gene Tierney is wasted. So is Hugh Marlowe. It's a nice screen debut, which is the only one of his career, for Stanislaus
Zbyszko the Polish professional wrestler. Francis Sullivan and Googie Withers are good by playing well-developed characters.
By the way, what the hell kind of name is "Googie"? It sounds like somebody who invented Google. How Jules Dassin directed this
film isn't up to par. Sure, the cinematography hits the spot, but the story,
especially the wrestling angle, doesn't match the quality that I look for. It's the lame grappling scene that ruins
the film, ultimately putting me to sleep. Are they doing it for real, or is the whole thing supposed to be fake?
All in all, Richard Widmark is the only reason to check out Night and the City.
The Night and the Moment (1994)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/12
8/12:
The staticity of The Night and the Moment will understandably turn off a majority of the viewers, but those who
brave through the two-person dialogue will find it charming.
Films of this genre don't usually work because there's no breakup in the monotony by action. What makes
The Night and the Moment a standout is the performances of Willem Dafoe and Lena Olin. It's rather amusing to see who's
seducing who.
These two thespians are undeniably excellent whose acting is of the first order, matching the richness of the dialogue. Thus,
they eliminate the theatrical feel. After making it to the end, I'm rewarded with a nice twist. That being said, it takes time
to warm up at the beginning, and then, the show becomes better over time.
All in all, The Night and the Moment is a superb atavistic romantic picture.
A Night at the Roxbury (1998)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/05, 2/10
4/05:
A Night at the Roxbury is so insane that it has gotten me all cracked up.
Sure, the plot is lame, and the characters can be annoying at times. All of them don't stop it from being a decently made
dumb comedy. I've been thoroughly entertained from start to end.
Craig, who's played by Lochlyn Munro, is a likeable character. Chris Kattan has a good line, "Is that a mirror in your
pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants!" A hysterical scene is when Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell did the
head movements in the car and the former smashed his head against the window accidentally not once but
two separate times.
Richard Grieco makes a cameo. For some reason, his career never took off, especially after
If Looks Could Kill and Mobsters were made. It's too
bad because once upon a time, Richard Grieco was one of the hottest-looking stars.
All in all, A Night at the Roxbury is a funny movie.
2/10:
Oh, all right...shoot me.
There's a good reason why watching a movie again is sometimes necessary. I can't believe, five years ago, I actually
thought A Night at the Roxbury was funny. Today, I can say it's a definite "no."
The only part I liked is when Chris Kattan bounced his head from left to right in the car until smashing it
against the window. After Richard Grieco made his appearance, I felt like going on the internet to find out what the heck
happened to him. His career was on the ascent, and then, he just disappeared. The botched plastic surgeries, along
with his cocaine addiction, didn't do him favors. There's a rumor that Richard Grieco was an alcoholic and partied too much.
All in all, A Night at the Roxbury is another one in a long line of bad SNL pictures.
Night Editor (1946)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
Night Editor confused me on the first try, so I decided to watch it again to make sure that I had the story straight.
I initially thought Jill Merrill set up Tony Cochrane as part of a scheme with Douglas Loring, but it turns out to
be nothing of that kind. Hence, this is the most perplexing part: why did she hook up with the murderer so quickly, even after
what had happened? Gee whiz, she's crazy.
Meanwhile, Night Editor has plenty of deep noir elements. The best scene occurs when Tony Cochrane
and Jill Merrill have a Double Indemnity-esque exchange in the car at lovers' lane
with lines such as "The end of the line, baby. This is where I get off," "You're just
no good for me. We both add up to zero," "You're worse than blood poisoning," "Pretty little house, pretty little wife, pretty
little brat," and "There's a meanness inside of you that has to hurt or be hurt."
Speaking of the aforementioned scene, it's interesting to see a shot of the wave crashing against the rocks a couple of times.
That's because one of the cinematographers is Burnett Guffey. He'll go on to be an Oscar winner in seven years for Best
Cinematography by transforming that same exact shot into a famous movie moment for Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in
From Here to Eternity.
Janis Carter steals the show as the femme fatale while William Gargan is almost too stiff. I don't have
any sympathy for his character and feel the wife deserved better than him. As for the narrative structure, I
find the approach weird because I don't understand why a newspaperman has the privilege when the more
appropriate person should be Tony. How the crime was solved is stupid; the tire tracks don't mean it's absolutely connected to
the night before and can be a result of Tony pulling into the crime scene on the following day. There isn't
other evidence to work with, but Tony should've reported the crime right away because, after all, what's there to lose?
All in all, if you don't mind watching an hour-long decent film noir, Night Editor will do.
Night Falls on Manhattan (1996)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/17, 4/24
1/17:
Night Falls on Manhattan is a good, solid political drama directed by the ever-reliable Sidney Lumet.
It's the fourth such film about police corruption for him. The first three are
Serpico,
Prince of the City,
and Q & A. I guess the adage works: if it
ain't broke, don't fix it.
The cast is superb, turning in strong performances. However, a few of them have been dangerously close to
overacting including Ian Holm, Ron Leibman, and James Gandolfini.
Andy Garcia is a terrific actor who's the star of the show. However, Lena Olin looks too old to play his love interest. Shiek
Mahmud-Bey is interesting, but the color of his eyes is distracting which turned out to be fake. So is the hair at
the back of his head. I've never realized Richard Dreyfuss is a very short man. Looking up the internet, it turns out
he's five five tall. Regardless, Richard Dreyfuss does a good job of playing the defense attorney.
The plot is a powerful, reminding me of City Hall which was
released during the same year. It's about how being
idealistic doesn't work in the face of the criminal system. But learning how to deal with the reality is the most important
thing in order to survive in the jungle. However, keeping the conscience intact is another story which is totally up to
the person, and he's going to have to live with the choices he has made, right or wrong.
All in all, Night Falls on Manhattan is a finely directed movie by Sidney Lumet.
4/24:
My rating for Night Falls on Manhattan remains unchanged.
As usual, Sydney Lumet directs a solid police corruption picture with all-around good performances from an ensemble cast, but
this time, there are a couple of noticeable flaws. One, everything feels like it took place in the span of one week. That being said,
nobody looks any different given the fact that months have probably passed. Two, the romance thing between Sean Casey and
Peggy Lindstrom comes out of the blue, throwing the film off its balance.
All in all, Night Falls on Manhattan makes for a solid viewing but doesn't say anything new.
A Night in the Show (1915)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/07
8/07:
A Night in the Show is another piss-poor Chaplin picture that's more interested in ridiculing
disabled people and people with mental problems.
There isn't a single scene that's considered funny, and naturally so, I've been offended by everything.
Why is it necessary for Charlie Chaplin to be drunk and beat up people? And how exactly is that funny?
All in all, I'd rather watch a gang of big, burly men break every bone in Charlie Chaplin's body than go through
another second of A Night in the Show.
Night Moves (1975)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
9/14
9/14:
If there's anything that's noticeable about Night Moves, it's the Peckinpah-stylized editing
which keeps a brisk pace although the scenes are disjointedly put together at times.
Sure, it's easy to be intrigued by whatever is transpiring. And then, approximately one hour into the film, the lack of
substance has become apparent because the story, if there's any at all, seems to go nowhere.
Actually, too much time has been spent on Harry's marital problems, and for a while, I wasn't able to see the dots
connecting. The last twenty minutes is when all finally got their shit together by getting down to brass tacks
and proceeded to solve the mystery (I didn't know there was one anyway).
The ending is absurd which killed the film for good by leaving me with this thought, "Oh, okay...so, that's that" before the
lights are turned on. How the characters go from one part to another so quickly is perplexing. I wish the direction was
more clear early on by letting me know whether the film intended to be a character study or a detective mystery story
instead of mixing them together.
Anyway, everybody has done a good job, especially when it comes to chemistry, and their conversations have been
enjoyable, even if the feel is akin to a ping pong game. Aside from Gene Hackman, there are three stars who make
their presence known: the very young James Woods, 17-year-old Melanie Griffith in her debut role, and Harris Yulin.
All in all, Night Moves resembles a bowl of soup that's full of water and barely any meat.
Night of the Comet (1984)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/11
11/11:
A dreadful bore, Night of the Comet is as B flick as it gets.
In many ways, it's a rip-off of The Omega Man. The first half is better than the second
which is such a slog to go through. I like the cinematography, especially the background, but it gets old quickly. Many
post-apocalyptic elements are nothing new.
Yeah, like I believe these guys are the only ones to survive out of five billion people on the planet. Come on, please try to
be more realistic. There will be survivors emerging from elevators, subway, buses, cars, etc., all over Los Angeles.
Millions more can be found worldwide who are lucky enough to be sheltered for a brief moment during the impact. By the way, will
the comet turn only people into dust? I ask this because plants are still alive as they're also classified as living organism.
All in all, Night of the Comet is full of contradictions.
The Night of the Following Day (1969)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/06
11/06:
Marlon Brando gives an intriguing performance in The Night of the Following Day while Rita Moreno, who hadn't
appeared in a film for six years, overacts.
It's not a well-developed picture due to lack of coherence. Why stage a big crime when there are four supposedly
professionals who happen to be amateurs at their jobs? The ending is memorable and unique in terms of getting the final man.
Most of the acting is okay, but the characters are badly sketched, giving me a hard time to understand who they are
or what their purpose is.
Marlon Brando is great, but he can be more special. His character is so underdeveloped that a lot of the potential has been wasted.
Because the female hostage is killed, I suppose the message is somebody like her, especially from a wealthy family, who acts
promiscuously should suffer.
According to IMDb, "Hubert Cornfield, on the Universal DVD commentary, claims that Marlon Brando, in an attempt to humiliate
him, tried to seduce Cornfield's wife and, after being turned down, went to tell Cornfield about his efforts. Cornfield
told him that he was flattered." What he meant by that is his wife was worth pursuing and it looked good on him.
All in all, Marlon Brando is the reason to see The Night of the Following Day.
The Night of the Generals (1967)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/18
5/18:
Five years after becoming international stars in their debut film Lawrence of Arabia,
Peter O'Toole and Omar Sharif team up again for The Night of the Generals as a favor for Sam Spiegel.
Hoping to see the same chemistry again from these two, I thought it, a giant money-loser with interesting Nazi themes,
would be decent enough to sustain my interest, but unfortunately, the threadbare story is what did it in. The long running
time of two hours and twenty-eight minutes is exhausting as well. The idea of Nazi generals and soldiers
speaking in pristine British accents is a definite no-no.
A Polish prostitute, who's actually a German agent, is murdered during the middle of WWII, and one brave Nazi decides
to investigate the matter. Come on...like anyone cares. And who did it will become predictable within a minute after
taking a gander at the three main suspects.
In the interim, it's confusing to follow the timeline when flashbacks are used. Also, there's no point
in paying attention to the love story between Lance Corporal Hartmann and General von Seidlitz-Gabler's daughter who have sex
with their clothes on. At one point, a solider is gun-machined down bloodlessly. The ending is unlikely and thus laughable.
I know Omar Sharif is an Egyptian, having been born in Alexandria, but I can't, for the life of me, understand
why anyone thought he would make a convincing Nazi. His caked face makeup is a constant eyesore. I don't like Tom Courtenay
and find him a boring actor. Hence, there's no reason to include him because Peter O'Toole, whose character may have
been a precursor to Ralph Fiennes' Amon Göth for Schinder's List, is more than enough.
Donald Pleasence is okay, being no different from anything else, while Philippe Noiret is fun to watch.
By the way, you'll save time by skipping Valkyrie with Tom Cruise to see
The Night of the Generals as it'll show Colonel von Stauffenberg's failed assassination plot which may be the first ever in
cinema history. However, I refuse to believe the conspirators like Kahlenberge and Seidlitz-Gabler are able to survive afterwards.
All in all, The Night of the Generals needs a more polished story, but please...reduce the running time by a great deal.
The Night of the Hunter (1955)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
3/06, 2/24
3/06:
After reading so much about how good The Night of the Hunter is, it turns out to be among the most
disappointing and overrated film noir pictures I've seen.
It remains the only movie that Charles Laughton had ever directed. By the way, he doesn't appear on screen. The use of shadows is
remarkable, making the photography more artistic than expected.
Robert Mitchum's character has tons of potential, but he's underutilized. Bad acting is more of a problem. I'm not
impressed with the story. It has a couple of nice moments, especially when the children's mother is underwater. The rest
is filled with 40's mediocre fluff.
All in all, The Night of the Hunter is a big letdown.
2/24:
I thought I would retry The Night of the Hunter in the hopes of an improved viewing experience.
Well, the movie looks better, but it's still poor in several aspects. I blame it on Charles Laughton. Had he done two
or three movies first to fine-tune his directorial craft, there's an excellent chance The Night of the Hunter
is a classic by now. The writing is first-rate, but yes, everybody in town is West Virginia dumb and I can buy that.
The biggest mistake is switching around whoever for the leading role. At first, it was Robert Mitchum. After the money was passed to
the boy, it became Billy Chapin's movie. The last twenty minutes or so, Lillian Gish suddenly got the baton. But why?
What the director accomplished is taking away the effect of Harry Powell and John Harper's relationship. They were doing fine on
their own, and that's enough for the movie. As a result, Robert Mitchum's screen time is so short that he's barely shown. Plus,
he isn't evil enough; watch how he "tried" to get the kids, especially on the stairs.
I like the cinematography whose style reminds me of German Expressionism, most especially
Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari.
It was handled by Stanley Cortez who did The Magnificent Ambersons for
Orson Welles. As a matter
of fact, Charles Laughton drew heavy inspiration for his vision by watching a lot of silent films, hence the casting of
Lillian Gish. As for the aerial shots, they're mishandled; he should've consulted Nicolas Ray of
They Live by Night fame to find out how it was done properly.
On the other hand, the editing is amateurish. Charles Laughton inserts shots of various animals, but they contribute exactly
what to the overall film? I understand it's meant to be artistic in the experimental sense, but still... When Harry Powell
died, the movie was over at this point, but the director kept going by giving Rachel Cooper more importance. Why? Who cares about
her? In other words, it's loss of control on his part.
Another is when Shelley Winters was shown underwater. It's a cool shot, but why hold it so long with several
angles? The point has been made. Move on... But Charles Laughton wants to point it out more and say, "How cool it looks, huh?
Let me show this in a different way: " Yeah, okay, okay, okay...it's enough. What I don't understand is how did
Harry Powell manage to dump the car in the middle of the river?
The performances are fine. Billy Chapin held his own when pitted against Robert Mitchum. They had a chance to
be special like Brandon deWilde and Alan Ladd in Shane, but Charles Laughton ruined it. Hence,
the movie was a massive box-office failure before going on to be overrated by idiots. That's why he never directed again which
is too bad because the talent was clearly there.
By the way, the biggest question that needs to be asked is: how did Harry Powell end up in the state penitentiary for a simple
misdemeanor that carried a thirty-day sentence? Anyway, that's $10,000? In real American dollar bills? Um, yeah...sure.
They turned out to be Mexican currency.
All in all, The Night of the Hunter is a good attempt by Charles Laughton, but he needed experience first before doing that.
The Night of the Iguana (1964)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/16
5/16:
The Night of the Iguana is all about being melodramatic for the sake of melodrama.
If John Huston could tone this down, it would be a better film. Then again, the dialogue is incomprehensible.
I guess he's only interested doing the film by going on vacation in Mexico.
Richard Burton and Ava Gardner shine. They're fun to watch. Had it been just them, the movie could've worked out better. That
being said, I don't like the rest of the cast. Deborah Kerr is full of it. Grayson Hall is annoying.
Sue Lyon has no acting talent and thus isn't believable.
All in all, the only claim to fame for The Night of the Iguana is it, thanks to Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor,
put Puerto Vallarta on the map.
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
12/04, 4/05
4/05:
This is the one that started it all.
George Romero will forever be remembered for Night of the Living Dead which is an underrated American horror
classic picture. Having been largely influenced by Herk Harvey's Carnival of Souls, he
showed everybody what one could do with low budget, inspiring other directors to make a name for themselves in the horror genre:
Tobe Hooper of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, John Carpenter of
Halloween, Sam Raimi of The Evil Dead, and John
McNaughton of Henry: Portait of a Serial Killer.
Unintentional or not, Night of the Living Dead is groundbreaking for casting a black actor as the main protagonist
who's intelligent with a lot of common sense. Unique is the use of radio play to narrate what's happening at the moment.
I knew it's going to be a ride when the film began with a powerful introduction just like how it happened to
Raiders of the Lost Ark. Of course, the justifiable ending is sad, envolving into
a social commentary of how stupid white people think and embrace guns as if it's an extension of their dicks.
Many fans think Night of the Living Dead is the first zombie picture made, but that's not true. It's actually
White Zombie which starred Béla Lugosi. By the way, here's a super cool fact from IMDb: "The
extras who played the zombies were paid $1 and a t-shirt that said, 'I was a zombie on Night of the Living Dead.'"
All in all, because of Night of the Living Dead, George Romero changed the landscape of the horror genre.
Night of the Living Dead (1990)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/08, 3/15
8/08:
My overpowering feeling while watching the 1990 version of
Night of the Living Dead is that I've seen it all before.
But why do it again the same way but with a different ending plus inferior acting? Gee, Tom Savini must think that gore,
basked in morbid-looking gooey Jell-O, is what constitutes a horror film when all he did is missing the
damn point. He just force-feeds me the obvious while forgetting about terror and suspense.
To redo what has been done is no adventure. Gosh, why can't George Romero start thinking about something
else other than zombies? It's been a constant trip to the land of zombies, zombies, and more zombies. Meanwhile, Tom
Towles' performance is so annoying that I've seriously considered a rating of '1' for a while, but the rest of the
show somewhat negates it.
All in all, Tom Savini should stick to special effects and stop directing rubbish.
3/15:
Night of the Living Dead is a pointless colorized remake of the original.
I mean, it's, save for the ending, shot scene-for-scene just like Gus Van Sant's Psycho. I
remember everything that happened in the 1968 classic, so why bother making another that's exactly like it? Is it to achieve
the "cool" status? Well, it's pathetic.
Why the hell is George Romero still obsessed with zombies by trying to reinvent the wheel for the umpteenth time?
The characters make the film worse than it has to be. All they do is argue. The sight of Tom the Moron shooting off the
lock from the gas pump has my head shaking perpetually.
I hate Tom Towles' and Patricia Tallman's characters because they're super annoying to put up with. Tony Todd is a decent
fill-in for Duane Jones, but not long after the beginning, he acts as if it's a staged play. By the way, why did his
character become a zombie if he hadn't been bitten?
All in all, the 1990 version of Night of the Living Dead makes a case of
why people shouldn't own guns.
A Night Out (1915)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
6/07
6/07:
Let's see what's new in A Night Out.
Well, there's nothing I haven't seen before.
For the hundredth time, there's no story.
For the two-hundredth time, Charlie Chaplin kicks and punches everybody to show off his sadistic side.
For the three-hundredth time, Charlie Chaplin acts like a retarded drunk.
For the four-hundredth time, my mind wandered.
For the five-hundredth time, I fell soundly asleep.
All in all, I know what a turd looks like, and A Night Out is exactly that.
Night Shift (1982)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/08
11/08:
Because the two characters work in the morgue overnight, shouldn't the movie
Night Shift be retitled as Graveyard Shift?
Actually, it sounds better this way because any trace of comedy is literally dead in the water.
Making his debut, Michael Keaton is supposed to enthrall me but never does. That's a shame because he's usually great in
comedies. I hate Shelley Long, who starred in many bad films during the 80's, and she sucks again here.
Henry Winkler has probably seen his movie career die for good. Appearing in every scene as possible, he manages to
suck the energy out of fun, however little there's left of it. The plot is stupid and infantile. Even worse is
the celebration of prostitution which feels dated.
All in all, Graveyard Shift makes drinking piss an appetizing idea.
The Night Stalker (1972)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/19
10/19:
Kolchak seemed a familiar name to me, yet there was Telly Savalas' Kojak, so I had no idea until I saw
The Night Stalker.
It was hitherto the highest rated telefilm of all time, spawning a sequel before being transformed
into a TV show which ran for merely twenty episodes. Now, that's not bad, and my interest in the latter had been piqued.
Now, let's be honest: the film is guilty of being made-for-TV with a lot of cheesy fade-outs. Some of
the acting, especially from Simon Oakland, is terrible. Yet it's nice to see Ralph Meeker who's a pro at this, having
appeared in a similar picture called Kiss Me Deadly.
Sporting a straw hat like a meddlesome newsman, Darren McGavin does a good job. He's the sole reason why the film
works even though the premise is silly given Fred Dekker had done it a lot better later in
The Monster Squad. At least, Darren McGavin gets me through the whole thing with his
antics although I find it interesting that his character was allowed to roam freely through
crime scenes with access to significant witnesses and ask them questions at will.
Unfortunately, I hate how quickly it had turned into a vampire movie; the feeling of banality begins to sink in when
Kolchak is at the house, ready to drive the wooden stake into Prince of Darkness' heart. Any time the archvillain's
eyes are shown in a close-up, all I can think of is Christopher Lee, hence the desperate need for originality.
All in all, The Night Stalker is a nice stab at mishmash of neo-noir and supernatural horror, but the
made-for-TV feel has to go.
The Night Strangler (1973)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/19
10/19:
Going for another round of neo-noir and supernatural horror, The Night Strangler is more of the same.
Not much new is uncovered, and it's been formulaic. Oddly, whether anyone knew it or not, the film was right on the
precipice of the Pacific Northwest becoming a hotbed of serial killers during the 70's, starting with Ted Bundy.
The cast is mostly the same, but Ralph Meeker is out and in are Al Lewis of The Munsters fame as the homeless man and
Margaret Hamilton the Wicked Witch of the West as Professor Crabwell. Darren McGavin is okay, having settled into his role
nicely, but his shtick is old. Simon Oakland ruins the show with his incessant screaming, and I thought he was
going to have a heart attack.
Roughly 500k people lived in Seattle at the time with millions of visitors annually, so explain this to me: how come
none of them discovered the 19th century underworld? And it never rains in the city at any point? That's unbelievable.
At least, The Night Strangler is the first to show me Seattle's underground which was the result of the Great
Fire in 1889 due to countless buildings that were made of wood. So, the council decided to raise the streets by at
least eight feet and fill in the space with cement given Seattle was originally founded on soggy tideflats which resulted in
flash floods whenever there's rain. To this day, they conduct underground tours.
All in all, despite the interesting backdrop of Seattle, The Night Strangler is a repetitive crappy B film.
A Night to Remember (1958)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/13, 8/13, 4/22
7/13:
Many years ago, A Night to Remember was a book written by Walter Lord that I read about the sinking of
the Titanic.
I hadn't seen the film until now. Obviously, comparisons with James Cameron's
Titanic are unavoidable. However, I've found A Night to Remember a
good viewing, notwithstanding the scenes with a seemingly toy model. Certainly, the director has done a good job
of creating the buildup that's similar to From Here to Eternity before
disaster strikes.
All in all, A Night to Remember is an enjoyable, if tragic, entertainment fare.
8/13:
I showed A Night to Remember to my 7th and 8th grade students for science class, and they all loved the film.
It captured their attention because the sinking of the Titanic was a human tragedy despite the claims of it
being "unsinkable."
All in all, there's no reason for James Cameron's Titanic to replace
A Night to Remember because it's a fine film in its own way.
4/22:
Having read the book again, I watched A Night to Remember afterwards and then decided to drop my rating
from '9' to '8'.
It's a good movie which remains the most accurate version of what happened that night on April 14, 1912. Even
there's a mention of two ships: the Californian and the Carpathian. Yet the names of the captains
for both aren't said aloud. Why? One was a hero, and the other was a coward. On the other hand, it's best to see
Titanic to have a clear idea of the ship breaking into two, not one as
originally thought, which was confirmed in 1985 when it was located underwater.
I'm disappointed in the lack of emphasis on the most important part of the whole ordeal: the jarring sound. Walter
Lord devoted some pages to this, but the film casually went through it before moving on. Bad idea. If you think
they were being facetious about the drunk baker, it's exactly what happened. He survived the event, even after
being submerged in the freezing water for a couple of hours. His name was Charles Joughin, and he confessed that
alcohol saved him by rendering him inebriated. As a matter of fact, he was literally the last person to step off
the Titanic as he was right at the end tip of the stern when the ship went down vertically.
By the way, the Titanic was never christened by breaking a wine bottle against it. There was no smoke
coming out of the fourth and final funnel as it was a dummy to begin with and only served as ventilation. Now, this
is where I'm confused the most. Remember when two men in the crow's nest had no binoculars and then the iceberg
thing happened. Yet earlier, several officers from the bridge had them on their faces. I thought the
whole time, as recounted in the book, nobody had it which is exactly the reason why the ship sank.
My suspicion was confirmed after looking up the internet. The band did play music to the end with
all members dying afterwards, but the final song wasn't "Nearer, My God, to Thee"; it was most likely "Dream
of Autumn" ("Songe d'Automne").
All in all, survivors of that fateful night prefer A Night to Remember over James Cameron's
Titanic due to accuracy despite the former failing at the box office
while the book generated no interest.
Night Train to Munich (1940)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/15
5/15:
Night Train to Munich is a tale of two halves.
The first half is tacky and doesn't work for me. Even the miniature models look obvious. The sight of the little bitty wires
that were cut during the prison escape is laughably funny.
Paul Henreid, who's credited as Paul von Hernried, tries to be incognito as an imprisoned countryman but blows his cover
during the medical checkup scene. Rex Harrison initially overdoes his part but becomes better over time, and Margaret
Lockwood is forgettable, adding nothing to the film.
Then, the second half comes which is a complete, shameless rip-off of Alfred Hitchcock's
The Lady Vanishes. However, it's an improvement in terms of quality and entertainment
with the delight of seeing Charters and Caldicott again. They were fun to watch in the other film. In fact, Basil Radford and
Naunton Wayne should've been the principal stars instead of Rex Harrison and Margaret Lockwood.
Another reason for the improvement is the tightening in tension. It gets more dramatic as soon as Charters and Caldicott find
out that Karl Marsen knew Bennett was a secret agent. The train scenes are well-done if redundant. Sadly, the film dies
by the time it arrives at the mountains for an anticlimactic ending.
All in all, although Night Train to Munich isn't original, the reappearance of Charters and Caldicott more than makes
up for it.
Night Train to Paris (1964)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/19
5/19:
Like oil and water, Leslie Nielsen and black-and-white murder mystery pictures don't mix.
The trouble with Leslie Nielsen is he has the face of a fool. He pushes the envelope further by donning a beaglepuss for
Night Train to Paris. It proves to be the downfall of the ineptly directed film by Robert Douglas, the only one of his career.
At the beginning, there's a long shot of a man walking toward the phone booth, but why can't it be more interesting with some
cuts? Then, a tape is passed to him from the male caller in the phone booth which can be seen just about anyone in the vicinity.
The male caller walks out of the booth and passes by a fat man with glasses. Looking backwards, he sees him before running
away only to let himself be trapped in a cul-de-sac alley while the fat man takes his sweet time while walking. For somebody
who deals with spy stuff, why is he so stupid? Why doesn't the fat man go after the guy with the tape?
About ten minutes later, the receiver is killed by the fat man who subsequently knocks out Alan Holiday (Leslie
Nielsen), but why doesn't he kill him instead? What's the point of letting him loose?
As soon as Alizia Gur, the Miss Universe semifinalist from Israel, showed up in Holiday's office with the hideous
beehive hairdo and all, I had her pegged for a femme fatale which turns out to be correct. I guess her dark looks
were meant to be a dead giveaway, huh? Acting roles would dry up for Alizia Gur by 1973, and she never worked again.
On the train which looks like an inspiration for Trading Places with Eddie Murphy, Dan
Aykroyd, and Jamie Lee Curtis, whenever one is at either end of the corridor, he's never noticed by somebody in the middle, but
how can that be given the peripheral vision? And finally, we have the mother of all: Holiday, in his terrible-looking black
Christmas sweater, gives no thought to hiding the most important possession behind the window curtain in his sleeping compartment.
I guess it's going to be really hard for anyone to find it, huh?
By the way, the movie poster features a tagline: "The survival of two continents depended on what happened on the..."
But the tape has nothing to do with two continents...just Europe.
All in all, ably demonstrated by Night Train to Paris, sixty-five minutes should be the standard for all bad films to follow.
Night Visitor (1989)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/21
6/21:
What do you get that's heavily stocked with has-beens?
The answer is: a bad movie. I mean, look at the names for Night Visitor: Elliott Gould, Allen Garfield,
Michael J. Pollard, Richard Roundtree, Henry Gibson, and Shannon Tweed. Each was famous for one and only one thing at some
point from way, way, way back. Now, they star in a picture that's direct-to-video from hell.
I admit the movie was playing decently for a while, thanks to Derek Rydall's ease in a leading role. Then, it just
fell apart when the long-absent but top-billed actor Elliott Gould finally appeared which is an hour later. Incredibly
enough, his character turned out to be 100% useless.
Night Visitor can't be defined as a horror movie if they want to get me with occasional cheap
scare-'em moments. Why did Billy Colton show up in class after knowing the killer's true identity? What an idiot he is like
the retard who's played by Michael J. Pollard. Then again, Billy didn't remove the cap from the camera.
Richard Roundtree plays a stupid detective. After the string of murders, he finally gets a break, and what does he do?
Nothing. He automatically assumes it's another bullshit story. The least the detective can do are get a search
warrant for the alleged killer's house, tap his phones, do a stakeout, and see what shakes out.
After the movie supposedly ends, it keeps going on and on with Derek Rydall and Teresa van der Woude doing things
together as if it's an audition tape for anyone interested in hiring either. It went for naught anyway because both of their
careers died almost immediately afterwards. At one point, Henry Gibson showed up as an expert and disappeared
for good. Scott Fults did the same as Billy's friend.
All in all, Night Visitor has absolutely no Satanic bite.
Nightbreed (1990)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/08
11/08:
I knew a kid in middle school who liked to make figures out of aluminum foil, and when I saw his finished products, I had
no idea what the hell they were supposed to be.
But in his mind, he saw something fascinating through them. So, I figured he was on another planet. It's exactly
how I felt about Nightbreed.
A combination of Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation,
Big Trouble in Little China, Batman Begins,
Plan 9 from Outer Space, Netherworld, and the 1990
version of Night of the Living Dead, it's one of the worst and most craptacular
pictures I've ever seen in my life.
If there's anything I hate, it's the editing. Mark Goldblatt and Richard Marden...these two are downright idiots. The former
was the editor of Predator 2, Showgirls,
Armageddon, Hollow Man, Pearl Harbor, and
XXX: State of the Union, among others. They're all comic-book films. The way the
scenes are put together is like going from point A to point E while B and D are skipped with C being occasionally touched.
In the absence of a story, the retchful display of visual effects, makeup, and costumes are enough for me to be overcome
like the smell of poop. None of the dialogue is comprehensible, making it hard for me to sit through the last forty minutes.
All in all, Nightbreed has gone south big time.
The Nightcomers (1971)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/17, 4/22
6/17:
Looking partly corpulent, Marlon Brando stars in The Nightcomers which can be safely described as a questionable choice.
Who cares if it's based on Henry James' The Turn of the Screw? I don't know what Brando saw in the script. Was he
pressed for money? Or was he merely interested in doing the S&M scene? Or did he like the name of his character: Peter Quint?
At any rate, it's interesting how this is sort of the original before
Last Tango in Paris came out.
To be fair, it's hard to take eyes off Marlon Brando whenever he appears. The first hour goes well, and he's a good raconteur. The
actor has one nice scene when he's shown running out of the woods to catch up with the carriage for small talk.
However, it's the last thirty minutes that dooms the picture when a loop is played endlessly: going
back and forth with the children with little of Brando. These kids are horrible actors, evincing no talent to carry a
film. No wonder why they barely worked afterwards.
All in all, as much of a jumbled mess as The Nightcomers is, Marlon Brando can thank his lucky stars because
The Godfather is just around the corner.
4/22:
My rating for The Nightcomers remains unchanged.
It's really bad because of Michael Winner who made a career out of directing crap movies. I don't get Hollywood's interest
in him. In his lifetime, he had been nominated for exactly one award which was for a shared screenplay credit for
The Sentinel. That's it despite having done thirtysomething films. Sure, there's
Death Wish, but the premise was so good that nobody could've fucked it up.
Believe it or not, Marlon Brando is actually in top form as Peter Quint based on the way he moves and looks. It's that there
isn't much of screen time allocated for him. Reversing this trend and getting rid of the annoying kids (they barely did much
work thereafter which is no surprise), the movie would've come out looking better. To Marlon Brando's credit, he tried to
have the whole script rewritten, but the request was made nine months too late and was therefore denied. The best part
is Quint telling a story about his father, a scene that Marlon Brando did while getting drunk on purpose.
I don't get the weird sex scene. It serves exactly what purpose? Then, Winner shoots himself in the foot by having the kids copy
the same act. Why? If they liked Peter Quint but not the maid, then why kill him but not her? At least, the photography,
which was shot on location in Sawton, Cambridgeshire, England, is lovely. The 16th-century Tudor manor house is Sawston
Hall, and The Nightcomers remains the only film to feature it.
All in all, save for Marlon Brando, The Nightcomers has absolutely nothing to offer, thanks to Michael Winner's
mediocre direction.
Nighthawks (1981)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/19
5/19:
For some reason, I thought Nighthawks might have something to do with Edward Hopper's famous oil on canvas painting,
but it's not about that.
Rather, it's a thrilling action policier with Sylvester Stallone at his classic best. Rutger Hauer looks to be in
tip-top shape. I don't think he had done better in other films except for maybe Blade Runner.
Nigel Davenport does a nice job of amping up the suspense.
The battle between Stallone's and Hauer's characters is the most impressive part of Nighthawks. One great movie moment
is when, inside the discotheque, Sylvester Stallone stared at Rutger Hauer for a long time, immediately knowing what's
happening. For the ending, Wulfgar was definitely surprised at having been outsmarted in what's considered as a great
get-back-at-ya finish.
However, the main problem is that the movie is so short. There's barely enough time to flesh out the story. Sure,
the chase reminds me of The French Connection (in fact, the script was originally
meant to be the second sequel for it, but Gene Hackman didn't want to reprise the role anymore), yet Sylvester Stallone makes a
positive id of the man within a day or two after spending a week holed up in the police basement to learn about counter-terrorism
tactics? That's hardly likely. The other problem is Billy Dee Williams. He's merely treated as an afterthought. So why bother
bringing him on board? Either cut Billy Dee Williams loose or develop his character more.
Apparently, Sylvester Stallone is a walking one-man show. Because of his beard to be an Al Pacino look-alike, he would've
done an excellent job if he starred in the prequel to Carlito's Way or replaced the
aforementioned star for Serpico. Hence, it's amazing to see Rutger Hauer counteracting
Sylvester Stallone's superstardom, which caused him to be jealous, with his impressive presence.
Funnily, as taken from IMDb: "According to an interview in Premiere, Rutger Hauer was told before filming that Sylvester
Stallone ran up building stairwells for exercise. However, during the subway chase, Hauer continually outran the American
star, who is known for his competitive streak." By the way, Rutger Hauer and Persis Khambatta previously worked on the same
film entitled The Wilby Conspiracy with Sidney Poitier and Michael Caine.
All in all, Nighthawks is a tremendously underrated Stallone vehicle.
Nightmare Alley (1947)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/18
7/18:
An unusual picture for the film noir genre, Nightmare Alley makes for a compelling viewing with sharp dialogue.
Although the cast is decent, it's Tyrone Power who gives the strongest performance of his career. He's the main
reason to watch Nightmare Alley, calling it his favorite film. I'm surprised that Tyrone Power could act
this well given his history of being cast in romantic and swashbuckler roles.
Darryl F. Zanuck, the head honcho of 20th Century-Fox, didn't want Tyrone Power, a top ten money-maker, to do the film out
of fear that his image might be ruined. Yet Power fought for the role. The film had an obscure release, causing it to die at the
box office; afterwards, it was dropped from circulation for many decades. After years of legal battles,
Nightmare Alley finally saw the light of day in 2005 by being granted a DVD release.
Jules Furthman's well-written screenplay is absorbing to listen to which was adapted from William Lindsay Gresham's debut
novel whose film rights were bought by Tyrone Power. Although the movie is long, it's the dialogue that held my attention from
start to finish. It also serves as a great example of how charlatans, hucksters, and clairvoyants work to fool the unsuspecting
customers. There are two films I can think of that did it so well, and they're
Elmer Gantry and Leap of Faith.
All in all, Tyrone Power took his acting to the next level by giving the best performance of his career in Nightmare Alley.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/02, 11/05
11/05:
Well, this is the one that started it all: Johnny Depp's acting career after he's sucked into the waterbed before being
blown up like a geyser in bloodbath.
Anyway, A Nightmare on Elm Street is a creative horror movie. I'll give Wes Craven that in spite of me calling
him a hack and fraud so many times. However, the acting isn't up to par as Scream. Freddy Krueger
looks weird in many scenes. It's like he has a new face every time. Does Rod bear an uncanny resemblance to Rob Lowe or perhaps
Esai Morales, huh? The lyrics are cool which goes like this:
"One, two, Freddy's coming for you.
Three, four, better lock your door.
Five, six, grab your crucifix.
Seven, eight, gonna stay up late.
Nine, ten, never sleep again."
Here's the famous story of how Johnny Depp was cast: Wes Craven wanted his 14-year-old daughter and her best
friend to make a choice between two actors for the role of Glen. They both unanimously picked the headshot of Johnny Depp.
Thinking of him greasy, pale, and sickly, Wes Craven went, "Are you serious?" They simply said, "He's beautiful."
All in all, Wes Craven will always be famous for A Nightmare on Elm Street, but more importantly, it's the
beginning of Johnny Depp's movie career.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2:
Freddy's Revenge (1985)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/03, 12/05
12/05:
Well, congratulations, Jack Sholder, for committing the greatest cardinal sin: directing an unintentionally gay horror picture.
Never mind there's horror in A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge because there isn't any. It's all about
the gay undertones. Yet I thought the movie was meant to showcase Freddy Krueger? Even the last two words in the title
has nothing to do with it.
At any rate, it's a bizarre film that tries too hard to be intelligent and is often rampant with bad acting. I'm constantly
left bewildered when trying to connect the mishmash of scenes together. After the queer gym teacher is murdered, nobody
bothers to investigate. What happened to Grady doesn't get a whiff, either. During the pool party, everybody saw
Freddy, but why didn't anyone panic afterwards? Is the town dead or just plain stupid?
By the way, Kim Myers is a drop-dead Meryl Streep look-alike if I've ever seen one. She might as well devote her
career in playing her double.
All in all, lacking many scenes with Freddy, it's best to skip A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge and go
straight to the next part.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3:
Dream Warriors (1987)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/04, 12/05
12/05:
The best line of the entire franchise is when Freddy Krueger grabbed Jennifer and yelled as he smashed her head into the TV:
"Welcome to Prime Time, bitch!"
After enduring what's easily one of the worst horror movies ever made, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
is back on track as originally envisioned. I have to say it's somewhat better picture than the first
part given there's a serious improvement in every aspect.
I compliment the writers, which is five in all including Frank Darabont of
The Shawshank Redemption fame, for coming
up with a solid script. Furthermore, the special effects are dazzling. Even better is the acting. Two names that stand out
the most are Patricia Arquette and Laurence Fishburne. And don't forget Craig Wasson who's memorable for his
performance in Body Double.
The film has finally shed light on how Freddy Krueger came to be who he is which helps strengthening the plot. There's a
nice catch-up with the two main characters from the original. Also, the film presents the clearest picture of what Freddy looks
like. When people think of him nowadays, it's this one.
All in all, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors makes a surprising recovery after Jack Sholder's
disaster of epic proportions.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4:
The Dream Master (1988)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/03, 9/06
9/06:
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master is pure Grade A cheese.
What a silly movie. Here's a question: what makes acting so bad? More importantly, how does one identify it? It'll
be easily answered here. Freddy Krueger gets to say the best lines of anyone. There's a sickening scene
when a tomboy girl suffered broken elbows during a bench press set which can't be more than twenty pounds.
Other than what I've said, there's nothing new to see here. It's just the same, old recycled stuff from the last
sequel. Hence, it's hard to believe Renny Harlin can't direct a simple horror picture. Then again, he can't direct
for shit. See Cutthroat Island which lost $147 million, causing
Carolco Pictures to go bankrupt.
All in all, A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master marks the beginning of the end for the franchise.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5:
The Dream Child (1989)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
9/06
9/06:
Well, that's it.
The shit has finally hit the fan. So abstract, so meaningless, so boring, so senseless, and so fucking pointless, I now
declare A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child one of the worst pictures ever made. At this point, I'm not
sure if Freddy should be classified as a jerk or a pussy-whipped old fucker. Even worse, he's boring to put up with.
The kids look like community college students. Yvonne has the appearance of a 50-year-old bag. What the hell happened to
the touch that made A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors a great film?
If it ain't broke, then don't fix it. In fact, don't fucking touch it.
All in all, through A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, Freddy sure delivers, that is, a long, great night sleep.
Nightstalker (2002)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/08
4/08:
During the mid 80's, there was a serial killer named Richard Ramirez who terrorized the citizens of Los Angeles
and San Francisco and held both cities in state of fear for a long time.
The media dubbed him the "Night Stalker." His elusiveness lasted for a year, culminating in his capture by the local
residents who ran after Richard when they saw him walking past them. It was a highly publicized case, leading to one of
the most sensational trials in California history, that saw Richard Ramirez sentenced to death in San Quentin.
I picked up a DVD copy of Nightstalker because of Danny Trejo. Honestly, I didn't realize it was about Richard Ramirez
himself despite knowing the story since the 80's. While watching the film, I've been peeved by the inaccuracies. Even worse
is the schlocky editing job. It tends to go back and forth between chaos and sedation. A bottle of Ritalin will
help in getting the movie to calm down.
At the outset, I was introduced to two police officers who are played by Danny Trejo and Roselyn Sanchez. Right away, I
disliked her character because of the way she handled a complaint. And then she's promoted to the rank of detective, getting the
first dibs on the Night Stalker case. Really? Why pick a rookie, especially somebody who has zero knowledge of anything? It was
actually Frank Salerno and Gil Carrillo who were in charge of the case.
Taking a gander at the sketch, it resembles the real Richard Ramirez instead of the actor who plays him. Also,
when the characters described the serial killer as "thin," the actor turns out to be built and well-fed. Danny Trejo, the
supposedly star of the show, is downright terrible. What is it with the Powder dude playing the devil?
Can I have a moment of uh...sanity here?
All in all, having fucked everything up in Nightstalker, Chris Fisher should be permanently stripped of his director's
license.
Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/16
4/16:
How fitting it is for the producers to release Nineteen Eighty-Four during the year of *drum roll* 1984.
I bet they were salivating over it by going, "This is going to be awesome." Anyway, I like George Orwell's book, and in
many ways, it's been prophetic. In fact, the big brother is already here as witnessed through the media, the government, and
the internet.
The film adaptation of the book is pretty good, too. It hits a lot of notes, and I'm pleased with the overall message.
However, a couple of points are docked from my intended rating for not wrapping things up in an energetic manner; instead,
it has left me sleepy.
John Hurt is perfect for the role, and he's able to convey a lot of emotions subtly. Because of his performance,
Nineteen Eighty-Four is more of a human than a robotic picture; in fact, if it's to be remade, what
John Hurt did will have been lost in translation due to inferior acting that pervades Hollywood nowadays.
It's shocking to see how dramatically changed Richard Burton is. He looks really old, and his health seems
precarious. He'll die of alcoholism two month afterwards at age 58. What a shame because Richard Burton, nominated for
seven Oscars and the best to hail from Wales, was one of the finest actors in cinema history.
All in all, Nineteen Eighty-Four is a landmark book, and the movie does a nice job of capturing it in spirit.
The Ninth Gate (1999)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/03, 12/07
12/07:
The Ninth Gate is an interesting misfire in Roman Polanski's résumé.
Everything had been working so well that I got into the film which was shaping to be a terrific neo-noir. Then,
all of a sudden, it fell apart. The ending...what the hell happened? Anyway, Johnny Depp is perfect for the role. He makes
book dealing a very cool profession to get into. Except for Emmanuelle Seinger (Roman Polanski's wife) who's
useless, the cast is great.
I love the cinematography; it's magnificent. I like the story and the gumshoe aspect of it. Ultimately, it's Roman
Polanski who lets me down big time. He's too good of a director, so yeah...it's disappointing. All he had
to do is carry the momentum from start to finish just like how he did for Chinatown.
I don't often mention anything about opening screen credits in my reviews, and if I do, it's usually for a James Bond flick. The
way it's done in The Ninth Gate is cool, especially when the lines came flying straight toward the screen.
All in all, The Ninth Gate should've worked, but wow...it sure fell apart at the end.
Nixon (1995)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/08
5/08:
Wow.
Don't get me wrong, and I love history. But Nixon is boring. Did Richard Nixon speak or act like that? I guess
there are three versions of U.S. history: actual, revised, and Oliver Stone. At least, I give Anthony Hopkins credit for
playing him well. He's never showy or pompous. It's just good, straightforward acting.
What I hate the most is the editing. It's been Natural Born Killers,
Any Given Sunday, and The Doors
all rolled into one. Another peeve is how long the movie is. It's too much for me to take in one sitting although it can be
exciting to watch at times. Worse, there are many subplots that go nowhere. Hey, where was Spiro Agnew the entire time?
According to IMDb, when Nixon was released in Hong Kong, the translated title was The Big Liar. No shit.
All in all, there's not much to learn in Nixon about the guy himself.
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/20
3/20:
This one won Best Picture? *eyes roll*
There must have been five thousand such films the last seven decades that nearly all are identical in one way or another.
Having handled the same theme, The French Connection and
Dirty Harry remain the gold standard.
No Country for Old Men doesn't break new ground and only has one evil character with several quirks
which isn't good enough to sustain my interest. Okay, this dude uses an air gun to blow out door locks and kills
people without alarming others. Yeah, wake me up when the reality switch has been turned on.
For a Cohen brothers picture, it's strangely less verbose and faster paced than I expected. That's a refreshing change,
and I prefer this one over Blood Simple although Fargo is
its closer relative. For two hours, I was somewhat gripped by the action, but the longer the chase went on, the more pointless
the movie became.
Plenty of stupid moments abound such as Moss running away from fast-moving trucks in the middle of night and then, all of
a sudden, jumping into the river with sun that's already up. Later, Moss is shot and is thus bleeding profusely while he's near
the Texas-Mexico border; within a day or two after being treated at some Mexican hospital, he's miraculously fine. This is the
early 80's we're talking about here.
Josh Brolin isn't bad by moving things along, yet his character is too good to be true. I don't believe all
of the bullshit that he's able to pull off. Instead, it's Javier Bardem who steals the show, but he's no Oscar winner,
showing zero character development while losing momentum once Brolin's character is killed. Again, I hate how they're
portrayed as supermen who can withstand bullets and still manage to keep going in top form. It's patently ridiculous.
Meanwhile, Tommy Lee Jones looks out of it and appears ready to retire. He plays the most pointless character of the show.
I don't know why he's cast, having been rendered nonessential after the first scene and then rapidly 100%
useless toward the end. Now, the ending...what the hell is that?
Woody Harrelson shows up, says, "Hey, I'm still around," and gets bumped quickly thereafter. At first, his character seemed
to know how to deal with the killer, yet he turns out to be worthless just like the sheriff from the middle of nowhere in
West Texas. So, Woody Harrelson and Tommy Lee Jones were in the film solely for their star power?
All in all, No Country for Old Men is the kind of film that pseudo-intellectuals and morons alike love to masturbate to.
No Dough Boys (1944)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
I got a great idea.
How about this: No More Three Stooges?
All in all, No Dough Boys is another crapfest.
No Escape (1994)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/19, 5/22
4/19:
No Escape is an okay futuristic picture that reminds me of many films.
The first ten minutes with Ray Liotta and Michael Lerner is exactly the same as
Escape from New York. When Ray was transported to the island and met with the leader
of the savages, the feel is exactly the same as Waterworld. Except this time, it takes place
primarily on land with a bit of Lord of the Flies going on.
When Ray found refuge at the fortress, it's exactly the same as The Road Warrior. When
he looked out to the ocean as a means of escape, it's exactly the same as Papillon. When the
helicopter was captured at the end, it's exactly the same as
Rambo: First Blood Part II minus most of the subsequent action.
The cast is all right. Ray Liotta is calm and doesn't let his crazed eyes do most of the acting. Moreover, he surprisingly
performs many stunts although his double is easy to spot at times. Lance Henriksen offers some respectability, but the trouble
with Stuart Wilson (Jack Travis of Lethal Weapon 3) as Marek is that he's not good enough to
make for a memorable villain which explains why Die Hard and
Point Break worked out so well.
Oddly, the setting takes place in 2022. Well, nothing like that has happened. Maybe the filmmakers should've added another
one thousand years to keep it real? No Escape must be a rarity because I can't recall a movie that's all-male with
over five hundred people. It has a twist at the end that I didn't see coming which is a pleasant welcome.
All in all, No Escape lacks originality, but it's been an enjoyable movie nonetheless.
5/22:
What helps No Escape the most is the story.
Despite the weak quality print, it's an absorbing movie to sit through although there are many reminders of
The Road Warrior and Escape from New York,
among others. In the place of Mel Gibson, Ray Liotta plays a silent but strong character. He does well, and there are others
who are adequate enough to carry the weight.
Kevin Dillon is the weakest link. After his harebrained character dies, the feeling has been "okay...who cares?" Robbins sure
moved on quickly, too. The funniest part is the setting takes place during the year of 2022. Well, we're here now, but life isn't
that different and nothing feels futuristic. Sadly, it's also the same year that Ray Liotta passed away in. Eerie, is it?
All in all, No Escape is enjoyable and works well for a sci-fi prison picture.
No Holds Barred (1989)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/14
4/14:
Ah, No Holds Barred: a staple of the 80's mindless on-steroids pictures for the mentally retarded man-children.
I was a big fan of WWF for most of the decade and the first half of the 90's until I got busy with life to notice the
huge decline in quality of the show. I didn't even know it changed to WWE.
In No Holds Barred, there are a lot of screaming, unhealthy doses of aggressive male testosterone, and absurd moments.
Sometimes, it's hard to say what makes sense and not, but nothing does here. I guess Hulk Hogan can do anything
in this particular universe. Therefore, rationality is thrown out of the window.
All in all, No Holds Barred is a terrific exercise in stupidity.
No Man's Land (1987)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/08
12/08:
No Man's Land.
It sounds like a WWI picture, but it's not. This one is a neo-noir thriller starring Charlie Sheen, Randy Quaid, and
D.B. Sweeney. No Man's Land starts off well to get me in the right mood but ultimately succumbs to mediocrity.
Basically, it's a mix of The Rookie, Point Break, and
The Fast and the Furious.
Charlie Sheen is all right, but it's the supporting cast that lets him down big time. D.B. Sweeney's face has me screaming
for James Spader. The other problem is the lack of new ideas to help the film sustain momentum. Sure, there are some
cool car chases and lots of Porches, but they aren't enough.
All in all, No Man's Land needs more if it wants to be an exciting policier.
No Mercy (1986)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/08
5/08:
No Mercy is a tale of three thirds.
During the first third, the action is unconvincing. When the next one comes, things are better, showing a
touch of neo-noir. To finish it off, everything falls apart, therefore ruining my mood for good. Overall, the acting
isn't the main problem but rather the lack of intelligence throughout.
When Eddie Jillette gets out of the car before it's blown up, he runs alongside the rail tracks. Yet the bad guys are ten
feet away, shooting at him. Hence, how hard is it to land a bullet on him at this distance? Later, Jillette goes underneath
a fence and traps himself amidst a stampede of cows after being shot at. Surely, these animals should've crushed his pretty
face to oblivion.
After Jillette abducts Michel Duval at the club, they paddle away in a small canoe. By morning, they find themselves stuck
at the bayou where there are supposed to be snakes, alligators, and mosquitoes. Also, setting a hotel on fire, Jillette
is able to walk away without consequences?
It'll be interesting to know how Jeroen Krabbé prepared for his role. He must have had a lot of fun playing with the knife.
I'm sure it's painstakingly hard work for him to be an awe-inspiring villain. The romance between Richard Gere and
his co-star isn't necessary, and the film can do without it.
All in all, No Mercy is a poorly made Louisiana version of The 39 Steps.
No Way Out (1950)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
11/15
11/15:
Let's get two things out of the way about the 1950 version of No Way Out:
1. It bears no resemblance to the picture with Kevin Costner and Gene Hackman.
2. It's not film noir.
Although Sidney Poitier, who's 22 years old in his feature film debut, is fine, it's Richard Widmark who steals the show, reminding
me of his performance as Tommy Udo in Kiss of Death. Effective, chilling, and convincing,
he plays his villainous, racist character to perfection, using every trick in the book to make everybody loathe him. It absolutely
works.
Although Joseph L. Mankiewicz's screenplay is well-written, the style reminds me too much of Fritz Lang's
pictures. At least, it's better and less corny this time. On the other hand, Linda Darnell, who plays the deceased Johnny Biddell's
wife, makes it worse by being granted too much screen time to turn in a melodramatic performance.
All in all, No Way Out is a nice medical drama vehicle for Sidney Poitier, but it should be seen mainly for Richard
Widmark's show-stealing performance.
No Way Out (1987)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/07, 3/19, 5/24
4/07:
No Way Out simply takes off after Sean Young's character is killed.
However, it's not enough to compel me to give the film a rating higher than '6'. The biggest mistake is it takes
a good forty-five minutes to get rid of her which is almost the whole first half. Then, the next half is a
roller-coaster ride with a surprise ending.
Kevin Costner, who looks young, is terrific and makes this worth watching. Along with
The Untouchables, it's a promising start for his great career which
reached its peak during Dances With Wolves a few years later. Now, how
about Will Patton? He nearly steals the picture, and it's, without question, the best performance of his career.
Unfortunately, Will Patton will repeat the same behavior endlessly afterwards.
All in all, I don't mind seeing No Way Out again.
3/19:
The last time I saw No Way Out, I gave it a '6', and now, time has been kind to it.
What I remember the best about this political thriller is the surprise ending. When I first saw the film during
the 90's, it caught me off guard. That's why No Way Out has a high replayability value.
Obviously, Kevin Costner is the show and looks great in whites. He has a famous movie moment with Sean Young when
they start making love in the back of the limo. However, the first forty-five minutes is boring to sit through,
but once she's killed, that's when the movie takes off. Soon thereafter, the race is on to see who'll be left
holding the bag. Hence, No Way Out is impossible to stop. Of the supporting cast, Will Patton gives a
standout performance. It's easy to tell from the get-go that his fanatic character is cracked in the head.
All in all, No Way Out is the one that catapulted Kevin Costner to superstardom.
5/24:
No Way Out still holds up well.
Noises Off (1992)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
5/16
5/16:
My goodness.
Noises Off is an abominable, unfunny picture about a play within the play. Everybody tries too hard but
often comes off as theatrical. I should've known better that it was bound to stink because Peter Bogdanovich is
the director. He hasn't done anything noteworthy since Mask in 1985.
All in all, Noises Off shouldn't have left the theater.
Norma Jean and Marilyn (1996)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/20
10/20:
People know what Marilyn Monroe looked like, but they don't know the real her, hence the film Norma Jean and Marilyn.
It's often fascinating although highly inaccurate. Understandably, there's so much material that it's difficult to get
them all in a two-hour picture. To make up for the shortcoming, Ashley Judd and Mira Sorvino provide a collaborative effort for
a tour de force.
They're both outstanding in different ways. I love the idea of making Ashley's Norma the destructive ego for Mira's
Marilyn during the second half. It's effective, compelling, and perhaps crazy.
Although Marilyn Monroe was verbally and physically abused by various men over the years, I still can't sympathize with
her; it's the price of fame she asked for which ultimately did her in. In reality, Marilyn Monroe was more of a whore than
anything. The most fascinating part is what happened in the dressing room prior to Marilyn singing "Happy
Birthday" to JFK. Then, I watched the actual footage of the famous moment, and now, it does make sense. She would die
three months afterwards.
If anything, apart from the casting of the actor for the Joe DiMaggio part, I'm disappointed with the ending because JFK
and RFK had Marilyn Monroe killed (a doctor injected air through her pubic area which caused an embolism). When Marilyn asked
Joe DiMaggio to get her immediately, he was going to by coming to Cal Neva a few days prior but got ordered by Frank Sinatra
not to.
Why it did have to occur is Marilyn was going to spill the dark secrets to the media about the Kennedys. JFK
promised to divorce his wife and marry her. RFK was also banging Marilyn at the same time, so the murder meant one thing:
they needed to shut her up permanently or risk a huge scandal that would topple them out of power. Happily, these
corrupt brothers died in the next seven years under bizarre circumstances.
All in all, I'm not a fan of Marilyn Monroe, but Norma Jean and Marilyn is a good movie.
North and South: Book I (1985)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
9/15, 6/24
9/15:
Forget The Blue and the Gray and also
Gone with the Wind.
The real deal is North and South: Book I. It's by far the best movie about the Civil War, and after nine hours, I
haven't gotten there yet. What's remarkable about it is the foreshadowing that acts like a scaffolding
which leads to the inevitable.
If shown in history classes, the chance of learning the causes of the Civil War is exceedingly high as it
covers a lot of relevant events such as John C. Calhoun's nullification talk, the Fugitive Slave Law, the treatment of
slaves (I'm looking at you, David O. Selznick), abolitionism, West Point training, state rights (although it's not truly
the cause of the Civil War), pros and cons of Northern and Southern states, Harriet Beecher Stowe's Uncle Tom's Cabin,
John Brown's raid in Harpers Ferry, Virginia (present-day West Virginia), the secessionist movement, South Carolina being the first
state to secede, etc.
Through the love stories and differences of philosophies, there's so much drama that it's hard not to be absorbed by the
subplots. There are many of them, yet I can remember all of the character's names and their motivations. Good and evil
are clearly presented to deliver high-octane tension to the sweeping flow of highs and lows, and the stories are brilliantly
weaved yet in a complex fashion.
Another winning aspect is the costumes which deservingly netted the designers a Golden Globe award. Right off the bat, it won't
be clear, but over time, there's a display of many different, attractive-looking costumes with a consistency to them.
It's a reflection of the show's quality and high production values. In total, 8,700 pieces of wardrobe were presented, and
the lead actresses each wore between 28 and 35 different costumes.
The acting is first-rate. There are so many outstanding performances that it seems
all thespians had a personal stake in seeing this through. Some of the best performers are Patrick Swayze as Orry Main,
James Read as George Hazard, Terri Garber as Ashton Main, David Carradine as Justin LaMotte, Kirstie Alley as Virgilia Hazard,
and Philip Casnoff as Elkanah Bent.
It's hard to say which subplot is my favorite, but if I have to choose, it's Orry Main and George Hazard's friendship.
Two men, a Northerner and a Southerner, test each other in terms of philosophies and values. Things become complicated
when each sees how the other lives and brings their relatives into the mix. It's reminiscent of Greek tragedy and a
fine one at that.
Another favorite is Virgilia Hazard. She's something else. I've never known a well-meaning character with radical views until
she came along. There's one scene that perfectly captures the battle of viewpoints
between a moderate and a fanatic, and it's Virgilia and Constance Hazard's conversation on the stairwell which
occurs almost at the end. George's description of bringing Virgilia to South Carolina is like taking a torch into a powder
magazine is pretty much dead-on.
Finally, who's the baddest of them all? We have three contenders: Justin, Ashton, and Bent. To me, the winner is Ashton
who's the most evil and a total bitch at that. She gives Scarlett O'Hara a serious run for her money and wins by a mile.
Both are similar in many ways, but her actions are blatantly whorish, making Scarlett look like a
puppy. Ashton and either Justin or Bent will make a perfect couple.
All in all, North and South: Book I is a bona fide masterpiece of Civil War drama.
6/24:
Roots and North and South: Book I should be considered as a complete saga of both sides,
white and black, of the United States during the 19th century.
Yes, I'll concede the biggest flaw of the show is how ageless everybody is. But the rest of everything else has been too good to
ignore it safely.
All in all, North and South: Book I is an incredible accomplishment.
North and South: Book II (1986)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
9/15, 6/24
9/15:
North and South: Book II is off to a slow start, and it'll take two hours to pick things up.
From there on, it's back to the same momentum as felt in the first part, thanks to many thrilling scenes which continue the same
themes including the test of Orry and George's friendship through the good and bad times. There are a couple changes in the
second part but none of them being bothersome.
Kevin Connor takes over the director's chair that's occupied by Richard T. Heffron. I thought it would be a problem during
the first two hours, but things were back to normal thereafter. He has done a great job with the battle scenes.
The next one is the replacement of John Stockwell and Wendy Fulton with Parker Stevenson (who was once married to Kirstie Alley)
and Mary Crosby, respectively, for the roles of Billy and Isabel Hazard. I thought I would be peeved by the change
for the former, but I've gotten used to Parker Stevenson and thus like him more. I wish he was cast in the last part for the
sake of continuity. As for the latter, it's no big deal because Isabel is hardly a memorable character.
The difference of the battle scenes between North and South: Book II and
The Blue and the Gray is night
and day. There are many extras marching for both sides, and plenty of battles are shown. They have the feel of mega troops
going against each other. I like the scene for the First Battle of Bull Run better than the other one. At least, it doesn't
disappoint by showing the Battle of Gettysburg.
There are several cameos including Gone with the Wind's Olivia de Havilland, James
Stewart, and Wayne Newton (who's surprisingly good). I also want to make a mention of various thespians who gave great
performances: Anthony Zerbe as General Ulysses Grant, Hal Holbrook as Abraham Lincoln, Lewis Smith as Charles Main, Kurtwood
Smith as Colonel Hram Berdan, and David Ogden Stiers as Congressman Sam Greene.
The acts of Elkanah Bent, Ashton Main, and Virgilia Hazard have, quite frankly, grown old this time around although Virgilia
has a change of scenery and offers an interesting perspective while working as a nurse. The trouble with Bent is that he has no
power to speak of, becoming impossible to take seriously; all he does is build castles in the air. I can't help but laugh at
him and his stupid, idiotic plan of deposing Jefferson Davis from the presidency. There's no suspense from it anyway
because Davis survived the war and lived for a long time. Ditto for Ashton who happens to be a dumb whore.
All in all, North and South: Book II is another nine hours of Civil War masterpiece.
6/24:
North and South: Book II may be long, but it's still quite good.
All in all, it's been a great job by everybody to make North and South possible.
North and South: Book III (1994)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/15
9/15:
The 24-hour saga of North and South has finally come to an end.
It has been an interesting journey. Unfortunately, I can do without the third part which is hard to sit through.
The first twelve episodes was filled with everything: drama, adventure, history, love, evil, costumes, and set pieces.
But for the final three episodes, the miniseries has gone way, way downhill by turning it into a massive soap-fest with
inferior production values and characters I hardly care about.
The biggest mistake is bringing back Elkanah Bent. He was clearly dead at the end of the second part after he was
blown up in an arsenal-filled barn. Every time Bent appears, I can only shake my head. I could tolerate Ashton
Main during Book I, but her act had wore thin in the next one. Now, I just want to throw an iron
skillet at the slut's face. Another mistake of the series is the romance between George Hazard and Madeline Main. But why? The
way Madeline acted with George, she seems to have more passion for him than she ever did for Orry. Really, I thought George
was an honorable man.
All in all, North and South: Book III shouldn't have been made in the first place.
North by Northwest (1959)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/06, 3/17
5/06:
North by Northwest is an overrated film which has become clichéd by Hitchcock's standards.
The rich cinematography is only used as a safety blanket to cover up the numerous flaws.
All in all, I'll have to see North by Northwest again for a better opinion.
3/17:
North by Northwest is one of the most overrated films of all time.
Sure, it has a classic look that'll fool many viewers easily, but what's with the fake background, the contrived
script, the huge amount of dead time, the lack of chemistry between Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint, the silly sexually-charged
dialogue, the artificial setup of Mount Rushmore, and the rubbish phallic ending?
Who goes to South Dakota, for Pete's sake? What's over there that Vandamm can possibly need? It's what New York and
Chicago are for. The film has more fake-looking background scenery and studio-constructed sets than I can count. Why can't
Alfred Hitchcock opt for realistic location shots and be done with rear projection effect once and for all?
Already too old for the part at age 55, Cary Grant is so good-looking, handsomely tanned, and impeccably dressed that it's
unbelievable how he manages to stay this way, no matter what the circumstances are. Am I supposed to believe the mother can
appear this young as compared to his son? The reality is that Jessie Royce Landis was only seven years older than Cary Grant.
I have to say Eva Marie Saint (who was 34, not 26 as she desperately wants everybody to believe) is a one-hit wonder
because of the Brando effect on her during On the Waterfront. It's Eva's screaming
blond hair and pearly white looks that nabbed herself the part for North by Northwest to continue Alfred Hitchcock's fetish.
If I look past them, it's clear she isn't much of an actress, having evinced shallowness. Hence, Eva Marie Saint would've made
a fine Nazi.
Hardly much happens in the film. Sure, it has a famous scene with the crop-dusting aircraft. But that's all the show has going
for itself in the entire 145 minutes. Even the centerpiece scene needs more work, leaving me perplexed, because the plane was
equipped with a machine gun and the pilot didn't use it during the key moments. After all, is this move necessary compared to
something more convenient like shooting Thornhill in the back of his head with a silencer?
I kept checking the timer a lot because it's so slow-paced and boring that it desperately needed an half hour cut out.
The plot is redundant. Why make more of the same after Alfred Hitchcock did it already in
The 39 Steps? I love the subtle racism. To be rich and have the means to travel in fashion
is to be white and dapperly-dressed. The sole job of black people is be a servant to them. Just take a good look at them in
many scenes, and a case of racial division can be clearly made.
Whenever somebody is stabbed in the back with a knife, fucking show the blood. Be realistic. Use a can of bright red paint. I don't
care. On the other hand, James Mason plays a villain? Please, he couldn't scare a mouse if his life depended on it. Of course,
the actor had a heart attack after the filming ended. That's how weak James Mason was.
All in all, Alfred Hitchcock should be embarrassed of having directed North by Northwest, a colorful-looking film
that's full of imbecile blunders.
North Dallas Forty (1979)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
1/05, 11/08
11/08:
North Dallas Forty is the most famous football picture made because of the fiction book that Peter Gent wrote,
reflecting his playing days with the Dallas Cowboys during the 60's.
Unfortunately, it's not a good movie. A lot of the content is now dated. I'm tired of the same message that's
played endlessly. They've made the point; let's move on.
Looking at Nick Nolte's body, I have a hard time believing he's a football player. A guy like him won't
make any college football team today. The excessive amount of chain-smoking and beer-chugging, jeez...no wonder why it's
such a pain to get up and walk around in the morning.
If Phil Elliott doesn't like where he's at, then why not quit the team and find something else to do? Oh, don't
like the pay? Well, it's more than what most people made that time. It doesn't matter anyway because the joke is on him
as he'll end up paying for it big time through medical bills.
For two hours, North Dallas Forty is a boring picture that contains little, albeit real, football action, some talk,
and a lot of nothing in between. Save for a few, there isn't much of character development, and the plot
is at best minimal. Yet there are memorable moments that underscore what it's like to be a football player.
By the way, I like the touchdown play during one game between Chicago and North Dallas. Also, Mac Davis,
who plays the quarterback, bears an uncanny resemblance to the Family Feud host Richard Dawson.
All in all, although famous for several reasons, North Dallas Forty is dated.
Nosferatu (1922)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/04, 4/07
4/07:
Where most Dracula films fail, Nosferatu succeeds.
Yet it still disappoints. Although unfaithful to the book, there's not enough running time to let the story unfold in a
more elaborate manner. That being said, it's underdeveloped in many aspects: characters, emotions, plot, mystery, and so on.
The biggest drawback is lighting. When it's supposed to be dark, the sun appears. It's annoying. I'll like to
see consistency. Make no mistake about it: Nosferatu is beautifully made and a prime example of German
Expressionist cinema.
All in all, Nosferatu is nothing to shout about, but it's a good silent movie.
Not Without My Daughter (1991)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
5/15
5/15:
I remember seeing Not Without My Daughter over fifteen years ago and being drawn to the story.
Revisiting the film, my opinion hasn't changed a bit. It's hard for me to label a race, religious, or ethnic group
in one word, but when it comes to Muslims, I can't help but think of "controlling." They're also the worst
offenders when it comes to women's rights. I suspect it has a lot to do with lack of education on both sides.
At the turn of the 20th century, literacy rate in the Muslim world was only 15% with the vast majority of women illiterate.
Today, 60% of 1.6 billion Muslims cannot read as most children are shut out of classrooms. In 2013, over 300,000 books had been
published in the United States, but the Muslim world accounted for roughly 2%, thanks to censorship and markets that can't
be found whatsoever in some countries. In fact, it ranks last worldwide in reading audience.
Approximately 75% of 100 million Arabs between 15 and 45 years old are unable to read, and the average reading time per
year is six minutes for each Arab. In "Why the Arabic World Turned Away from Science," Hillel Ofek says, "Although Spain is
hardly an intellectual superpower, it translates more books in a single year than the entire Arab world has in the past
thousand years."
All of the aforementioned facts are significant in understanding why Muslims are who they are, having been brainwashed
by their religion. Hence, many Muslim countries are among the most dangerous in the world with nine of them in the
top ten. In other words, their lack of education is what breeds terrorism. So, I must ask Betty Mahmoody this: "WHAT THE HELL
WERE YOU THINKING?" However, I can understand her position which was between a rock and a hard place. But it's a very bad
decision that she made from the outset, no matter what.
Although Not Without My Daughter is drama, I like to think of it as a horror picture. It's terrifying because I can't
imagine myself in a strange country and not to be protected by basic rights that I take for granted. The reason why
the film gets a '10' from me is the ultimate realism which is convincing and stark. Also, the acting is very good and holds
up well. All of the thespians play their parts to perfection. It's almost like being there.
All in all, Not Without My Daughter is a scary movie.
The Notebook (2004)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
Although not always consistent, The Notebook is a moving but sad picture.
After being impressed with Ryan Gosling's work in The Believer, I think he made a slight
departure from what he's capable of. Rachel McAdams' performance is worse than his. Yet the story is enough to erase the negatives.
The narration reminds me of The Princess Bride. I like the touch of a sudden
reversal which makes it more real.
Another aspect to praise is the cinematography. It's breathtaking. James Garner and Gena Rowlands are
magnificent. Not to leave out Joan Allen and Sam Shepard, they're also great.
All in all, The Notebook is one of the best romantic pictures I've seen in a while.
Notes on a Scandal (2006)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
11/16
11/16:
I worked as a secondary teacher for three years and understood the power and responsibilities that were placed before me.
A student-teacher relationship is tough to cultivate, and the environment in today's schools is drastically different,
thanks to the explosion of technology. As a result, sex crime is on the rise as many teachers are being arrested for
inappropriate relationships with their pupils.
Texas currently leads the nation in teacher-student sex cases. According to data from the Education Agency, the reported
incidences of improper relationships between teachers and students have been rising annually:
2008-09: 123
2009-10: 141
2010-11: 152
2011-12: 156
2012-13: 163
2013-14: 179
2014-15: 188
That's not just in Texas; it's happening everywhere including England. In short, it's an epidemic. I can never understand
the teacher's sexual interest in students although one of the reasons might be the high amount of xenoestrogens
in food which causes young kids to develop faster and reach puberty at an earlier age. So, my question to the teachers is:
why not date a minor, as long as he's of the legal age, outside of school? Or better yet, an adult? There are plenty
of them, and the end result is practically the same.
Anyway, Notes on a Scandal is a refreshing change given the fact that it was produced during the age of digital comic-book
movies. Also, it's British which means higher standard in acting, screenplay (which earned Patrick Marber a well-deserved
Oscar nomination), and production values. Once I heard the spoken lines, I knew the movie was going to work out;
it's just a matter of finding out what the story is about.
I normally don't like Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett, but I have to admit: they're very good in this movie. Consequently,
both of them were nominated for Oscars. Judi Dench finally drops the repetitive shtick that has made her an all-time bad
actress by acting like a human being for a change. It's more realistic when she does that.
In that process, Judi Dench carves a classic villain out of Barbara Covett: a trusting vampirish senior authoritarian
who's a patiently quiet, unassuming sexual predator of young female adults. She hit a home run during the ending.
Cate Blanchett is adept as a novice teacher who's trying to survive her first year at an urban school and doesn't
know her way around. There are a lot of moments she has that ring true although her showing off too much skin is a big no-no.
Her character's run of bad luck is also saddled with a great deal of stress by dealing with her older alcoholic husband, who
seems to exhibit autistic behaviors, and intellectually disabled son. Ultimately, she's trying to keep her family together. Hence,
if it never happened in the first place, then the sexual relationship with her pupil wouldn't be highly probable. So, I
suspect it's been the case for many teachers who have too much stress in their lives.
But no matter what, engaging in an improper relationship with a student is always a lose-lose situation because once the
teacher initiates it, s/he is constantly behind the eight ball because the power lies with the student who can abuse it as
s/he sees fit. The only way out is to be publicly shamed by the media before going to prison. Everything
the teacher had worked for will be for naught. Hence, showing sexual interest in students isn't worth the trouble.
Anyway, the supporting cast has turned in superb performances. A special mention must go to Andrew Simpson as the pupil
and Bill Nighy, who should've received an Oscar nomination for Best Actor in a Supporting Role, as the alcoholic husband.
All in all, Notes on a Scandal is a masterpiece.
Nothing But a Man (1964)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
The message of Nothing But a Man is: it doesn't pay to be an "uppity nigger" in the Jim Crow South.
Hence, life sucks. It was sucking before then. So, why make things worse? That's pretty much what the
slow-paced picture is about with everybody's head down. Sure, it's realistic, but the United States never
cared. If it did, the government would've done something years ago. Yet it didn't, hence the rise of Dr.
Martin Luther King, Jr. That took time, but things eventually changed for better.
While the photography is excellent, the acting passes muster. I'm not familiar with Ivan Dixon despite
having seen A Raisin in the Sun and
A Patch of Blue. He has done a fine job; his role was
first turned down by Sidney Poitier and James Earl Jones. Abbey Lincoln is no actress, but she's better
here than in For Love of Ivy.
There's only one face that stood out in the crowd at the beginning, and I thought it was him
before checking online. Yep, it's Yaphet Kotto in his screen debut, setting off a long
career in Hollywood. Ditto for Julius Harris as Duff's father. And yep, that's Esther Rolle singing in the
church. This is the first film to use music from Motown Records.
There's something I don't understand. If Duff's friends were around, that meant they're still working
on the railroad, and one of them said there were five weeks left to complete the job. So, why didn't Duff continue
with it? That's eighty dollars per week...better than two to three dollars a day that everybody else was paying. I
hate to say this, but the black couple should've moved to north if they want a better life.
All in all, Nothing But a Man is the perfect choice if you want to know what it is like being a
black person in the Jim Crow South.
Notorious (1946)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/10
5/10:
I won't go so far as to call Alfred Hitchcock overrated, but Notorious has given me second thoughts.
In fact, I think the movie could've turned out differently in a couple of ways. One, replace Cary Grant with somebody better like
Humphrey Bogart to match Ingrid Bergman's caliber. Watching her with him, it's clear that she overdid it. This is entirely Cary
Grant's fault for being flat and one-dimensional. I can't see him as a CIA agent. Also, I can't see Ingrid Bergman as the daughter
of a traitor.
Two, the dialogue is poor. It's also boring and not up to the standard. To remedy it, Alfred Hitchcock should've used
somebody else other than Ben Hecht. The Hitchcockian formula has been repeated to death. Slow as hell, it lacks interesting elements and
has too many coincidences for me to believe. One thing that I don't understand is if a key was needed for the wine cellar,
how did Alex Sebastian get there without one since his wife had it the whole time?
All in all, because of Notorious, North by Northwest,
The Birds, and others,
Alfred Hitchcock may have been overrated, but then again, I have to think of The 39 Steps,
Vertigo, and Psycho.
Novecento (1976)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
12/10
12/10:
After finishing Novecento aka 1900, I watched the interviews with Bernardo Bertolucci and Ludovico Bettarello
to help clear up some of the mystery.
It's basically about generations of families that span five decades in Italy, hence the running length of five hours
and fifteen minutes. As confirmed by the director, it's also politically driven. Although Novecento was released in
the United States, I have to be an European, let alone an Italian, to understand and appreciate everything.
Bernardo Bertolucci is correct by stating the culture and identity of Italians had been slowly eroded during the 20th century.
So, does it mean Novecento is redundant? No, absolutely
not. On the contrary, it's a near masterpiece, probably a difficult picture for Bernardo Bertolucci to direct because he
put many aspects together while achieving a balance. There's no flaw throughout, but confusion does come to me in
regard to the number of years that have passed between events.
For example, at the beginning, I didn't realize the two boys were born on the same day, but I knew their childhood
friendship would be tested against time because that's how both stopped from killing each other. Therefore, it's
an important theme. Then, shifting attention away from it, a bigger one is the common bond among
farmers and also among landowners. Hence, Novecento is a film of two social classes in conflict with one another.
That's what it's all about. Meanwhile, the cinematography is magnificent, the pace is deliberate, and the acting is
equally excellent throughout.
All in all, Novecento is a well-crafted work of art that needs to be viewed again.
Now and Then (1995)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/06
11/06:
Noooooooo...more...chick...flicks!!!!!
How about Never Now and Never Then? Putting together three inept actresses (Melanie Griffith, Demi Moore, and Rosie
O'Donnell) in one picture, I feel like Steve McQueen on Devil's Island during Papillon.
The whole thing is derivative. Stand by Me, hello? Taking a boring trip to the past, there are a lot of cheesy
scenes. There isn't a look or feel that matches the 70's. I wish I can burn down the treehouse and dance around it like a
wild Indian. Two future stars appear: Thora Birch and Christina Ricci, but they won't be remembered for this piece of crap.
All in all, nothing works in Never Now and Never Then, and I feel embarrassed for having seen it.
Nowhere to Run (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/11, 3/20
11/11:
You better be careful because Jean-Claude will Van Damme anyone who threatens a family.
Nowhere to Run is maybe his best movie which has it all: cast, acting, story, villains, drama, action, and realism. You'll
see a lot of action movies from the 80's and 90's with so many shadow punches and kicks, but not in Nowhere to Run. This
is as real as it gets.
I love the cast: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Rosanna Arquette, Joss Ackland, Ted Levine, and even the hideous-looking Kieran
Culkin. Because of Mookie, there are a lot of similarities between this film and Shane. Van Damme
plays a likable character despite the fact that he's an escaped felon. He's easy to root for because we want him to protect the
family. Obviously, the meat of the show is the action. All of Van Damme's scenes are outstanding. Even the motorcycle stunt work
is excellent.
All in all, Nowhere to Run is a can't-miss Van Damme classic.
3/20:
Talk about a hero who comes out of nowhere to save a family.
Nowhere to Run reminds me of Shane big time. Jean-Claude Van Damme is Alan Ladd, and
Kieran Culkin is Brandon deWilde. The boy searches for a father figure, and he can't let Sam go after finding one in him. At the
same time, the mother is about to lose her house to bad guys who want to turn the land into a real estate development.
There's plenty of action, and the gripping story works well. Van Damme shows off his classy side that reminds me of
the actors from the 40's pictures and prominently displays street fighting skills as opposed to the usual as seen in
Bloodsport, Kickboxer, and
Lionheart.
All in all, I consider Nowhere to Run Jean-Claude Van Damme's best film.
The Number 23 (2007)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
9/21
9/21:
I'm surprised Joel Schumacher decided to take on The Number 23 because he directed only straightforward and
uncomplicated films.
For the most part, it's watchable, but the mystery had been bothering me for the longest time until the twist was
finally revealed. Once it came, the movie, all of a sudden, became absurd in an illogical circular way. Now, I know why it
has a reputation for having one of the stupidest plots ever conceived. Understandably, the writer never penned another screenplay.
Prior to seeing The Number 23, I paid no attention to numbers ever and didn't care about them. Numbers are numbers.
Okay...so what? Move on. But in the film, the obsession over 23 was getting to me too much for no apparent reason. By the way, 2
divided by 3 isn't 0.666 but a repeating decimal of 6. Nice try, morons. Here's the thing: all numbers can be easily converted
to any number you want.
Let's try 2007, the year the movie was released. Sure, it looks impossible to obtain 23 because 2 + 0 + 0 + 7 = 9. Instead of
this, I can do it in a more complicated way: take the first two digits to make it 20, halve the last two digits 07 to get 3.5,
sum these two results to get 23.5, and then perform a floor function on it to get 23. Or we can go back to 2 + 0 + 0 + 7 = 9
and multiply 2 and 7 together to get 14, and sum both together to get 23. Wow...huh? I guess.
Everybody is merely okay. Best suited for comedies, Jim Carey is no drama actor. Virginia Madsen is strangely flat.
What bothers me about her character is after knowing him very well, why would she give him the book? It just
triggered everything which is far from what she wanted, and he ended up in prison, thanks to her. Virginia's ex-husband
Danny Huston keeps hanging around but does nothing significant overall. Interestingly enough, his second wife killed herself
in 2008 by jumping off the building just like Suicide Blonde.
All in all, The Number 23 tries way too hard in the absurd department.
Number Seventeen (1932)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
Number Seventeen may be the dumbest movie of Alfred Hitchcock's career.
Full of choppy editing, it starts out as a suspense thriller, has a muddled middle, and segues to the most laughable
series of actions that takes place on a miniature set. I find it unbelievable that the characters were in a house for a
while only to come out of a factory-like building that's located next to the rail yard with nary a train sound beforehand.
Oh, the characters...they're silly. One is a regular guy who'll be revealed as a detective, another is a beggar who
needs a place to crash, a male body lies on the floor before disappearing, a woman from the next door falls down through
the roof, and a second woman claims to be deaf-mute but isn't so.
When I first saw the train, the bus, and the ferry, I was like, "Aren't they toys?" No matter how suspenseful Alfred
Hitchcock tried to make the action to be, I could only laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Now, I know where the "comedy"
comes from. Of the cast, Ann Casson is the worst as Ann while Leon M. Lion overplays his beggar role.
All in all, Alfred Hitchcock went so far to admit that Number Seventeen was a "disaster" although he did incorporate
some interesting filmmaking techniques.