T List of Movie Reviews
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Taken (2008)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
9/21, 11/21
9/21:
There's an unstoppable force in the universe, and it has a name: Liam Neeson.
"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But
what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a
nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will
not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."
Bryan Mills is a nice, unassuming guy. But if anybody kidnaps his daughter Kim, Bryan will go after everybody involved until he
gets her back. Hence, Taken is a relentless action-packed picture that spares nobody. "Good luck"? Um...okay.
That being said, I was left entertained. Yeah, the believability factor is low, but the editing
is terrific and always on the ball. If people are surprised that Liam Neeson is capable of this, they shouldn't be.
He had done it before in Darkman and Rob Roy; hence,
action-adventure is nothing new for him. Liam thought the film would bomb, but it became a surprise hit, birthing a franchise.
At the beginning, it would be easy for me to say: look at this bitch ex-wife and look at her airhead daughter who's
materialistic beyond belief. That may be true, but the movie is about Bryan getting his daughter back. At the end,
nobody seems to have learned a lesson, and in front of the family he had already lost, Bryan is like, "Ah, it's no big
deal...just another day for me."
If there's anything I'm disappointed, it's that all women involved in human trafficking aren't important to Mills.
He's simply laser-focused in the mission of getting his daughter back. Strangely, after all that's happened, Kim is back to her
usual happy self when she should be depressed and out of it after returning home. Then again, she's stupid and
materialistic beyond belief.
All in all, Liam Neeson is a badass.
11/21:
After being initially impressed with Taken, I started to be bothered by one aspect: the unbelievability of it all.
The editing can be atrocious at times. It keeps jumping ahead without completing the previous shot fully; as a result,
Taken is a relentlessly fast movie that won't take a break for the slightest minute. Yet the action is entertaining.
Liam Neeson is the star and the only reason why the film works. Forget the daughter and ex-wife; they're simply
unlikeable. Who cares if the girl dies? As long as Liam wins at the end of the day, I'm fine with it.
All in all, Taken has flaws, but it's a good movie.
Taken 2 (2012)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
11/21
11/21:
In many ways, Taken 2 is a remake of the original with the same story, same structure, and same results.
This time, the wife is kidnapped, but who cares about her? Ditto for the daughter. They've become more unlikeable and detached
this time around. Liam Neeson is okay but is going through the motions. The funniest thing is the bad guys were supposed to be
Albanians but only one was actually so.
The first film was relentless, entertaining, and somewhat original, but Taken 2 is mechanical and formulaic. It doesn't
help when the head honcho is played by Rade Šerbedžija. Didn't he do this before in
The Saint? Predictably, his character would be defeated because he's weak.
What bothers me a lot is the hand-to-hand fight between Bryan Mills and Suko in the bathhouse. Who
fights like that in real life? They've become common in films released the past two decades. Show me an example of
it that isn't choreographed.
Oh yes, let's not forget to mention the incredible record-breaking long jump by the daughter. What's that...forty feet in
the air? It'll take about 30 MPH to accomplish it, and the daughter has that much leg muscle in her? By the way,
nobody has broken the world record in long jump since 1991 when Mike Powell did it in Tokyo which was about eight inches shy
of 30 feet.
All in all, effortlessly putting Istanbul in a bad light, Taken 2 isn't interesting.
Taking Lives (2004)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
1/22
1/22:
How am I supposed to take Angelina Jolie seriously as an FBI agent when she has the lips of a slut (look at the movie poster
for what I mean)?
It's stupid when Taking Lives starts off with a John Lennon look-alike who'll be taken over by Ethan Hawke.
Hello...has anyone bothered seeing his films from the 80's and making sure the kid is close enough in resemblance?
Please...don't start with throwing in Kiefer Sutherland for a red herring; he has played psychos and killers for so long
that it has become old hat by now.
From the outset, when Ethan Hawke made his appearance in the interrogation room, I immediately had the mystery solved. His
character is the serial killer because he sounds too glib for a witness. Two things I would've done at this point are: (1)
Have him repeat the story over and over about what happened; and (2) Show the picture of him to the mother who claims to have
seen her long-lost son recently.
Unbelievably, neither happens, and I'm in for a long haul, eventually telling me what I knew already. It's just Angelina Jolie letting
her the slutty lips do the acting for the majority of the film with the wide open v-neck of her white blouse to pass for an
invitation for sex. Her chemistry with Ethan Hawke is nil before climaxing with a porn shot of Angelina Jolie's heavy breathing as
she exposes her breasts.
Of course, I knew Angelina Jolie's womb was fake given the enormous size and only wondered why her character didn't
hide a gun or a knife behind it while waiting for the serial killer to come. She being fluent in French is predictable
compared to how long the two detectives were speaking the language; the next thing I know, she'll have mastered Spanish
if Olivier Martinez was going to switch to it.
All in all, Taking Lives is a Seven wannabe that's immediately over before it starts.
The Taking of Pelham
One Two Three (1974)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
9/06
9/06:
Armed with a great ending, The Taking of Pelham One Two Three is entertaining because of the premise, but the
gung-ho, ball-busting attitude and heavy overreliance on New York City make me sick.
Robert Shaw is excellent, and Walter Matthau has a memorable moment at the end. However, Hector Elizondo is bland. The
subplot with the mayor is a mistake. Why drag that out for so long when it's sufficient to have him agree
to the ransom payment?
All in all, The Taking of Pelham One Two Three is a fine picture despite the silly New York City bravura.
Talent for the Game (1991)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/24
1/24:
Talent for the Game is a bland baseball movie with an uninteresting story.
It's about discovering a young pitching phenom out of nowhere in Idaho so the California Angels can go from something like
60-102 to 85-77 the following year. Since that's the case, you can count me out. On the line is a scout's job. Because Virgil
Sweet found the guy, he gets promoted. Yet it's still not enough as he wants to keep catching for him, no matter what.
Riiiiight...
Edward James Olmos is the only strong actor of the cast, and he tries too hard. If he would stop talking so much while
catching, there might be an extra point in my rating. The final twenty minutes showing the play-by-play action of the first
two innings during the old-looking pitcher's debut is overboard. Most baseball careers aren't measured this short
but rather over many games. Working one's way up in the minor leagues is usually how it's done.
All in all, instead of the game, it should be called Talent for the Unbelievable.
Tales from the Crypt (1972)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/20
12/20:
It's a strange adjustment for me, going from HBO's famous TV series to the British film for
Tales from the Crypt.
I had probably seen every episode from 1989 to 1996 and enjoyed them all. It's always a different story each time
with zero censorship. So, in true horror fashion, anything went including sex and profanity which was unheard of
back then. The Cryptkeeper was unforgettable as well. Then, I began to watch the British film, and...
Seeing Ralph Richardson in the place of The Crypt Keeper is the beginning of my awkward transition. He isn't
bad but often looks bored although he ends the film at a high note. The entrapment of the five visitors
brings out an evil story from each, hence the anthology format:
...And All Through the House: Joan Collins was considered one of the most beautiful women in the world. Well,
she's ugly, wears too much makeup, and cannot act. There's no explanation to why her character wanted to kill her
husband. It just happens. Moving on...
Reflection of Death: This one is practically the same as the previous vignette. What gives? Some variety
would be nice here. At least this time, there's some motivation for the character to off his spouse. However,
what bothers me is after something bad happens to him how come he looks perfectly fine during his meeting with The
Crypt Keeper? Or is this hell and everybody comes pure and clean of defects before him?
Poetic Justice: It might be the meanest vignette I've seen in my life and yet is the strongest of the film.
Poor Arthur Grimsdyke, he didn't deserve the harsh treatment. Of the five visitors, James Elliott is the only one
who belongs in hell. By the way, it's Peter Cushing who's Grimsdyke, and he was told to act like himself. Well,
the depression is real after his wife's recent death.
Wish You Were Here: Believe it or not, Ralph Jason doesn't belong with the other four people, and I have no
idea what he did do wrong. Hm, it's an odd choice.
Blind Alleys: If the blind man looks familiar, it's because he was in
A Clockwork Orange. The actor's name is
Patrick Magee who has an impressive face. This vignette is average overall but makes no sense because to make
the dog overly hungry, he'll have to be starved for days.
All in all, Tales from the Crypt is an okay anthology horror picture with no discernible style, but I prefer
the TV series more.
Tales from the
Darkside: The Movie (1990)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/15
6/15:
Inspired by the TV show which is in the vein of Creepshow,
Tales from the Darkside: The Movie is an anthology film of four horror short stories with each getting worse one by one.
In many ways, it resembles Creepshow 3 that's the best of them all due to high quality of the cast.
The Wraparound Story: Starring Debbie Harry and Matthew Lawrence, the brother of Blossom's Joey Lawrence, it
serves as the host for the next three vignettes. Although this one isn't bad, the boy should've gone inside the stove
at the end as a punishment for playing the annoying character in a failed TV sitcom called Brotherly Love.
Lot 249: This one features a star-studded cast (Christian Slater, Steve Buscemi, and Julianne Moore in her screen
debut). It appears to be the most interesting of them all, but there isn't much intelligence. An Egyptian
mummy is unwrapped and then does its worst.
Cat from Hell: Here come William Hickey and David Johansen of the trendsetting punk rock band
New York Dolls and the silly movie Car 54, Where Are You? Because of the latter, it's hard to take the vignette
seriously because he plays the worst assassin ever. Okay, next...
Lover's Vow: It should've been called "Sleeper's Vow" which stars Rae Dawn Chong and James Remar and has a
noticeable decline of quality in all aspects, causing me not to care for the characters.
All in all, Tales from the Darkside: The Movie is terrible but moves well because of the switching around among
the four horror stories.
The Talk of the Town (1942)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
10/24
10/24:
Cary Grant was part of many classic films, especially in the screwball comedy genre, and one of them was
The Talk of the Town.
It has everything you can look for in a potential Best Picture winner. Ronald Colman and Cary Grant are outstanding,
but it's Jean Arthur who steals the show. She has great chemistry with these two guys. Unfortunately, none of them was
nominated for an Academy Award. It's not often that back then a black thespian was offered a real acting role, so
kudos to everybody for giving Rex Ingram a chance as the law professor's valet.
The story is interesting with a twist of irony. It's not so much about who gets the lady but whether or not the law
professor will take the escaped prisoner's side after hearing his story. At the same time, it's been a matter of keeping his
identity concealed for as long as possible, hence the screwball effect. From start to finish,
the writing is sharp and clever.
All in all, anytime George Stevens is listed as the director in the credits, you can trust the material to be of
high quality, and that's the case for The Talk of the Town.
Talk Radio (1988)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/04, 7/08
7/08:
Why do I want to watch a film that forces me to listen to people's problems for two hours but nothing happens?
That's Talk Radio which is not a well-known Oliver Stone picture. I learned nothing much, and
radio listeners were pathetic back then as they're now. It doesn't help to spoil the ending by displaying the book title
Talked to Death: The Life and Murder of Alan Berg during the opening screen credits.
Eric Bogosian has the look, but the weak screenplay dooms his character Barry Champlain. I liked it better in
Play Misty for Me when the radio host said, "This is Dave Garver with a little verse,
a little talk, and five hours of music to be very, very nice to each other by" instead of Barry's nonsensical screaming to get
his "point" across. When his eyes are about to pop out, he loses credibility.
All in all, Talk Radio is a dated yawner.
Tangled (2001)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/22
2/22:
Tangled is a three-character film that relies on the strength of storytelling.
Most studios would kill to have at least one ounce of chemistry to get their films to take off. There was enough of
it between Shawn Hatosy and Rachael Leigh Cook. But when Jonathan Rhys Meyers entered the picture, it became excess supply.
Then, there's the story. It's interesting, somewhat reminding me of Othello. The final act is good enough to place a
stamp on Tangled as head and shoulders above many trendy teen pictures during the late 90's and early 2000's.
However, the final minute is unnecessary although it confirmed my suspicion in regard to a couple of key points.
Shawn Hatosy walks a fine line between corny and clueless but succeeds throughout. I'm not familiar with Rachael Leigh Cook
whose looks may have prevailed over her nonexistent acting abilities. Funnily enough, she was the catalyst at first until
Jonathan Rhys Meyers showed up to take it away from her. One film I can think that did the same thing is
Something Wild with Ray Liotta getting in the way between Jeff Daniels and Melanie Griffith.
The ending makes sense. Remember it's told from David's point of view. The detectives can't prove anything because one is in a
coma and the other passed out during the event. It doesn't help matters any when Alan bought an ax from the store along with
a gun. They're damning against him in terms of evidence. Hence, David gets away with it scot-free.
All in all, Tangled is a well-made movie.
Tango & Cash (1989)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/03, 9/04, 12/04, 4/06, 3/16
4/06:
I've seen Tango & Cash many times, and I'm still surprised people don't think much of it.
A highly entertaining film, it has a great script with witty lines and one of the most exciting tandem in
Kurt Russell and Sylvester Stallone. They're like fire and kerosene. Put these two together, and the screen ignites.
All in all, Tango & Cash is a can't-miss extravaganza.
3/16:
Tango & Cash, which is the final Hollywood film of the 80's, still doesn't get the respect it deserves.
It has one of the most electrifying on-screen chemistry through Kurt Russell and Sylvester Stallone. The comedy works
because they feed off each other so well. It helps when high-octane action is added to the mix.
The best part is the improbable prison escape. It'll never work, but the scene is fun to watch. The strength of the cast is
impressive which includes Jack Palance, Geoffrey Lewis, Clint Howard, James Hong, Teri
Hatcher, Michael J. Pollard, and the ever-funny Brion James with his fake Cockney accent.
All in all, it's too bad there's no sequel to Tango & Cash.
Tank Girl (1995)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/15
1/15:
Tank Girl is based on an eponymous British comic strip.
I had never heard of the title and failed to comprehend how it would have gotten anyone's attention anywhere in the United
States. Then, Hollywood decided to make the movie with a budget of $25 million, but it grossed
*drum roll* $4 million. See what happens when there's no popularity to begin with?
Anyway, the film...gosh, where do I start? Lori Petty tries to be badass and awesome only that she's not. In the post-apocalyptic
world, where water is gold, her character looks too good, and so does everybody else. Everybody involved should've watched
The Road Warrior a few times to understand the meaning of the genre before making a
fool out of themselves.
There's no story. It's all about girl power in the worst way possible. The novelty wears off quickly because there's too
much in-my-face extravaganza. Surrounding the characters are pretty, kitchy, and random stuff that will not
be found at any five-and-dime store. Is that what most of the budget was spent on? Yeah, I thought so.
All in all, Tank Girl tries to be cool, hip, and fun, but it's been a phony ride.
Tanner '88 (1988)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/24
8/24:
Tanner '88 is probably the closest to what it's like being a politician campaigning for a position although
I rather see a filmed version of Hunter S. Thompson's legendary book Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trial '72.
The miniseries has a boring start, but it finally hits its stride during the third episode when Jack Tanner survived an
assassination attempt which foretold what happened to Donald Trump recently. Amazingly enough, there are plenty of real-life
names that either went on to be President of the United States or were serious contenders.
The best episode has to be the eighth when Jack Tanner met with black residents in Detroit. That being said, the show
can use more of it. In between are a lot of mundane politicking and strategy sessions which are far better and more
substantial than The War Room.
Of the cast, the winners are Michael Murphy and Pamela Reed as Jack Tanner and his campaign manager, respectively. Harry
Anderson of Night Court fame has surprised me the most. Based on what I've seen from
Jack Tanner, he's just another guy in the long line of bullshitters. His sincere face is what got him this far, and nothing
will ever change. Having made a living in greenmail, corporation shakedowns, and fake racism, Jesse Jackson is one of
the worst Americans and should be in prison for life. It's sickening to see him whenever he appears.
All in all, if you're fascinated by many aspects of politics, you shouldn't miss Tanner '88 which is a fine
piece of work by Robert Altman.
Taps (1981)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/12
2/12:
Stupid, misguided, infantile, and brainwashed are the words that immediately come to my mind while watching Taps.
One side of the coin is the interesting perspective of what a cult must look like. The other is it's a bad film with cheesy
acting. I won't be surprised if Tom Cruise has disowned it ever since because he looks like a jackass. As
always, Sean Penn must cry. That's why I can't take him seriously.
It's safe to say the title of the film should be RIP: Timothy Hutton's Acting Career. He fell off the map since then.
Anyway, his character is brainwashed, making it impossible for me to like or sympathize with him.
Meanwhile, looking up the history of military schools turned out to be educational. There used to be hundreds of them decades
ago, but now, only a handful are left. The reasons why are that they're outdated, abusive, financially unprofitable, reflective of
changing attitudes (think of the protests during the Vietnam War period), and exorbitant in terms of tuition. More importantly,
there are better school options.
The research made me realize how silly the issue was in Taps. Hence, I can't believe I watched two hours
of boys defending the school for nonsensical reasons. Imagine how Moreland would've felt if Bache slapped his face
before yelling, "You idiot boy!" An arsenal of weapons that's housed at a military school for kids? Uh uh, I don't think so.
All in all, Taps is as cheesy as it gets.
Tart (2001)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/21
9/21:
Despite the misleading erotic poster and nice production values, Tart caters to a specific demographic: rich, spoiled
white kids who attend elite private schools.
Nothing much happens for the longest time. It's hard to tell the girls apart. Relationships are superficial, and there's
a lot of backstabbing going on. Kids abuse drugs like it's no big deal. The meaning of the word "family" doesn't exist, leading
to a laughable let's-come-together ending for the mother and daughter. I find them all impossible to relate to
although I get the point: it's about finding out people's true colors.
The cast is fine; most turn in passable performances. Eternally typecast, Brad Renfro is the odd man out whose character
doesn't fit in with the crowd. Described as "popular," he has the face of a loser. Bijou Phillips plays a spunky
character but disappears for a while. She and Brad Renfro will do a far better film: Bully. Forget
the fact that Melanie Griffith has a top six billing; she's briefly in the film to say a few lines.
All in all, notwithstanding the wafer-thin plot, Tart is unoriginal although it moves well.
A Taste of Honey (1961)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
Tony Richardson was a major part of the British New Wave, having directed four films:
Look Back in Anger, The Entertainer, A Taste of Honey, and
The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner.
It's the third that's among the most realistic along with
Saturday Night and Sunday Morning in
which he served as the producer. The performances by Rita Tushingham, Murray Melvin, and Dora Bryan are
outstanding with the first two making their screen debuts, resulting in Best Acting awards at the Cannes
Film Festival. They can thank Walter Lassally for the stunning black-and-white cinematography.
Consider the year that the film was made in which was 1961. The idea of a white female being impregnated by a black
male was unheard of at the time on top of their interracial kiss. So were the appearances of a blatantly gay male and a single mother. Then,
there's a bastard who's about to be born, and it might be black. Hollywood didn't start doing this type of movies until the late 60's;
all the big studios did was produce fluff and people got tired of it, hence the decline in ticket sales, because nothing
they saw was either real or relatable.
Rejection is the main theme, and it's constantly acted upon by Jo and Geoffrey. She stops caring about it anymore
and thus accepts people, regardless of their skin color or homosexuality. Jo's mother is a throwback to how it
should be by behaving properly and sticking to the norms. She's constantly reinforced by her boyfriend who
promises an upgrade in her living status if she'll pay the price of ditching her daughter.
All in all, A Taste of Honey is one of the most daring movies ever made during the 60's.
Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
9/05, 3/09
9/05:
Showing off an odd premise, Taste the Blood of Dracula is a big departure from Bram Stoker's novel.
One thing is for sure: it has a great amount of beauty that's mixed in with the Victorian English scenery. Some of the scenes
are surreal in an abstract manner. The characters are well-played. Ralph Bates, although in a brief role, is
effective as Lord Courtley with a treacherous trait.
All in all, although tedious at times, Taste the Blood of Dracula can be safely compared to
Bram Stoker's Dracula in some ways.
3/09:
Originally thought Taste the Blood of Dracula to be the best Hammer Horror dracula picture made, I'm wrong after seeing
it for the second time.
What I realize now is the slow pace just like Horror of Dracula and
Dracula Has Risen from the Grave. The
acting is often poor while the story is shoddy. A tired sight due to appearing in many horror pictures,
Christopher Lee repeats everything ad nauseam as Dracula. How he died is rubbish despite having been exposed to
sunlight all the time without any ill effect.
All in all, Taste the Blood of Dracula has no bite.
Taxi Driver (1976)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
11/03, 1/08, 4/15
1/08:
Taxi Driver starts off slow, gets rolling when Betsy is introduced to Travis Bickle, takes its time, goes in
a different direction, and is in a free-fall mode with an explosive climax in the last twenty minutes.
Robert De Niro had a great run of films during the second half of the 70's that made him a household name. His role herein is
among the most memorable. The legendary "You talkin' to me?" scene is unforgettable and painful to watch. So is the eerie
climax at the end that's beautifully photographed.
Harvey Keitel looks young. Ditto for the 12-year-old Jodie Foster. Martin Scorsese has plenty of fun by playing a character
who's probably crazier than Travis Bickle. More of a looker than an actress, Cybill Shepherd turns in the second
most memorable performance of her career.
It's the last musical score for Bernard Herrmann, who got his first start in
Citizen Kane, before his death at age 64.
Paul Schrader, the screenplay writer, went on to direct the only masterpiece of his career:
American Gigolo.
Taxi Driver holds up well after thirty-one years and is still relevant as ever, even after the near assassination
of Ronald Reagan which left James Brady paralyzed for life. Of course, the film has been influenced by
The Manchurian Candidate because there are certain parallelisms that are hard to ignore. What sets it apart from the
John Frankenheimer classic is the twist that went in a different direction.
So, is Travis Bickle a hero? Or a villain? I'll say he's a nutjob. The best part about him is the simplicity of his
nature. Anyone can be Travis Bickle, but not every Travis Bickle is dangerous. Detached from society while failing to connect to
real life, Travis grinds it out through his boring, mundane job. Occasionally, he makes general, albeit unsupported by evidence,
statements about how the real world works. There's nothing interesting going on in his life, yet he wants to make a
meaningful impact whether it's good or bad. When the moment comes, not much explains his actions or why he did it.
All in all, Taxi Driver is a Scorsese masterpiece.
4/15:
If you ask me for a top three Scorsese film, Taxi Driver is one of them.
Taxi Driver wouldn't have worked if it had gone down the path of
The Manchurian Candidate. If that's the
case, I'll accuse the film of being a rip-off.
Why it's a compelling picture is the lack of explanation that made Travis Bickle do what he did. Sure, there's a
need for some direction in his life, but what are the driving forces that shaped it? The film doesn't explain or answer very
much. It's just what it is. The last twenty minutes is unpredictable, being the reason why it continues to be revisited over
the years and never gets old. Neither is the top twenty quote of all time in movie history which is painful to watch:
"You talkin' to me?"
All in all, Taxi Driver is a shocking picture in terms of how easy anyone can be like Travis Bickle.
Teachers (1984)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/19
6/19:
Similar to The Hospital, Teachers, which is also directed by Arthur Hiller,
makes a biting social commentary, but this time, it's about urban education.
Yes, there have been plenty made such as Blackboard Jungle,
Up the Down Staircase, Class of 1984, and
One Eight Seven. All say the same thing but bring something different to the table.
Teachers is no exception and is a funny film in its own sad but true way.
Those who had worked in the trenches will find it all too familiar and be able to identify most of the characters by having
worked with them before. Judd Hirsch's and Lee Grant's are perfect examples that represent over 95% of the bureaucrats who
exist in schools nowadays. That's why the system is impossible to overcome because it's about making the parents and their
kids happy as much as possible in spite of no education that's going on.
As for me, a former teacher for three years, I see nothing new but can relate to many of the incidents
that occurred in the film. The female lawyer is a typical idealist who never taught before and
won't know. That's why Alex Jurel scoffed (so did I) after listening to her complaints.
The problem is many students aren't cut out for school and don't have the requisite IQ to hack the work. Literacy rate among
high school students and even adults is low and continues to drop annually; therefore, nobody should feel shocked about
it. That's why I laughed when the high school was sued for graduating a functionally illiterate
male student. Yet it decided to end the case by agreeing to a monetary settlement. Please, that'll never happen because there
are millions of students just like him.
Herbert Gower, a mental patient who impersonates a teacher by the name of Mr. Van Ark, may look cool, is well-meaning, and all
that by dressing up as Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, and George Custer (by the way, Richard Mulligan played him in
Little Big Man). But the truth is: it's second grade stuff when this is supposed to be
high school and students are expected to perform grade level work in reading and writing, not theatrics.
As for the performances, most do a good job. I can't believe Steven Hill is the lawyer's boss. Talk about Law & Order
before there was Law & Order. On the other hand, Ralph Macchio is cringeworthy while bringing a great actor
like Nick Nolte down to his level. He's why I gave the movie a low rating of '8'. By the way, did you see Narc?
That's Anthony Heald who played Dr. Frederick Chilton in The Silence of the Lambs.
All in all, Teachers gets high marks for mirroring the reality of urban education.
The Teahouse of the
August Moon (1956)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/09
7/09:
I was initially led to believe The Teahouse of the August Moon was going to be a Brando film, but it's not
the case at all.
In fact, Marlon Brando has a minimal amount of screen time. It's both weird and awkward to see him pretending to be a Japanese
who just had a Botox treatment. I prefer him to be altogether eliminated or replaced with a real
Japanese. Nevertheless, Marlon Brando has done a magnificent job because I couldn't tell many times if it's him or not.
Glenn Ford is clearly the show as the affable solider who has a change of heart after experiencing a culture
change. As a result, the movie is enjoyable. However, some parts are slow and don't add much to the overall story.
All in all, for what it's worth, The Teahouse of the August Moon isn't bad.
Tears of the Sun (2003)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
2/25, 2/25
2/25:
I had been back and forth whether Tears of the Sun deserved a '9' or a '10' before settling on the latter.
It puts many, many war movies, going back to the 30's, to shame. The high amount of realism (watch the growth of
beards and how tired everybody is) is undoubtedly impressive. Even more so is how normal the whole thing looks from
a cinematography/editing point of view. Therefore, all the credit goes to Antoine Fuqua, the director of
Training Day, for making an all-around solid picture that's on the same
level as Platoon and Predator. The most
ubelievable part is the remaining members of the SEAL team unleashing firepower against 300...400...possibly
500 rebels coming after them.
Everything I've seen about how it is over there in Africa is spot-on including the rape and mutilation of
females. That being said, you're encouraged to read Keith Richburg's book
Out of America: A Black Man Confronts Africa. A newspaper reporter of The Washington Post, he had a
mythical idea of the motherland but instead saw tons of barbaric slaughter with dead bodies littered everywhere.
Consequently, he was glad to be an American and vowed to never come back again.
As unbelievably terrific as the film is, I can't help thinking about several things. Sure, the men got the
job done, even if it meant ignoring orders. But there are too many people to save all over Africa who
are going through the same exact situation. Being engaged in a firefight with Nigeria's rebels is literally a
declaration of war by the United States. Then again, what is it to them for being involved with
another country's affairs? Of course, there's the human aspect involved that caused the leader to stop acting
robotic and start thinking how bad it is.
After seeing Hart's War and Tears of the Sun the past year, I now
acknowledge that Bruce Willis is an exceptional actor. There's something about his stoicism he brings to
the table that makes the biggest difference in quality of the film. A lot of actors had tried to do that for
decades but failed. The rest of the cast has been very good, and it's nice to see Eamonn Walker of
Oz fame in a big role.
All in all, Tears of the Sun is Best Picture material.
2/25:
The pivotal moment of the film is Bruce Willis looking at the mission's ambush during the helicopter ride back
to the ship and thinking to himself what he ought to do next, and that's when he became a hero.
Teen Witch (1989)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
6/12
6/12:
Getting off the awful Sixteen Candles trip, Teen Witch is the same kind of
film but, this time, with disastrous results.
The 80's was a decade of countless awful, corny films that were filled with bad fashion, retarded ADHD mannerisms, chopped-up
hairstyles, mindless music numbers, and loud colors. Teen Witch is no exception. It's also one of the worst pictures
I've seen.
Only if it would start off with a short music segment with Tawny Kitaen, it might have gotten a '2' from me
instead of '1'. Maybe...maybe not. The following trivia is taken from Wikipedia which sums up the film:
"The production budget for Teen Witch was $2,500,000. The film was released in the US on April 23, 1989, and grossed
$3,875 in its opening weekend at the box office, and only $27,843 total in its entire run."
All in all, the idea of drinking a glass of hydrogen peroxide and dealing with the Poison Control Center
afterwards is more exciting than Teen Witch.
Teen Wolf (1985)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/10
2/10:
Teen Wolf...now, that was a film when I thought this was what kids had to go through during adolescence.
It turns out I was wrong. Whew, good thing. Well, back then, I never got swept away by the hype of Teen Wolf.
The movie is so corny with either bland or overdone acting. Characters drop out like flies for no apparent reason.
There's a high consumption of weed and alcohol. One girl throws herself on a dork just for the hell of it.
During the championship basketball game, the first foul Mick committed, should it be classified as "flagrant" resulting in
ejection from the game? Riding atop the moving van is a dangerous thing to do. Recently, something similar happened to an
oft-arrested football player from the Cincinnati Bengals who fell off the back of a truck before dying of head injuries.
The oddest part occurs at the end when a guy stood up on the bleachers with his penis out through his fly
during the victory celebration. But if you watch the scene again in an uncropped version, it turns out to be a woman.
At the same time, a redhead female on the right shows off a major camel toe. What the fuck...?
All in all, Teen Wolf is an all-around dumb movie.
Teen Wolf Too (1987)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/10
2/10:
Teen Wolf Too is a repeat of the original: same formula but with a different cast.
That's all there is to the sequel. Once again, it's the same formula but with a different cast. How boring. Now, why did the
filmmakers pick boxing for sport? Who the hell boxed in college during the 80's? Would it have made sense to go with
football?
Jason Bateman has the natural ability to be at ease in front of the camera. The greatest moment is when he ran down the field
and caught the frisbee with his teeth. Now, is this an appropriate moment to label him as a "dog"? Oh...the madness.
All in all, the title Teen Wolf Too is missing one more word at the end: Corny.
The Temp (1993)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
11/12
11/12:
What's shaping up to be a weak '7' picture, The Temp does a nice job of losing a couple of points during the last
fifteen minutes.
What was that all about? Did the filmmakers run out of money or fall behind schedule, forcing them to wrap it up so
hastily? Whatever the case is, it sure killed the movie.
One minute, Peter and Kris are in the office. The next thing I know, they're on some California highway alongside the precipice
when the car, all of a sudden, has no brakes. A couple of minutes later, they're transported to the middle of a
steamy factory as if it's a revival of the epic fight between Sylvester Stallone and Brian Thompson in
Cobra. Shortly afterwards, the temp is fired from her job just like that. What happened? It's
like a couple of scenes went missing to account for the leap of logic.
Timothy Hutton does well, and I envy his hair. But my goodness, is his character so much of a pussy that he has to yell out
after being nicked by a simple paper cut? Steven Weber, the funnyman from the TV show Wings, shows off his acting chops
and proves he can make it work in movies. Really, he had one more scene left in his character after the alley episode. Oliver
Platt is a reliable supporting actor, but his part is abrupt and is therefore almost meaningless.
We now come to Lara Flynn Boyle. She isn't a looker, and I've never considered her attractive. Thus, I had a hard
time believing Lara Flynn Boyle in the film. There are many different hairdos she sported throughout. And
today, due to the multiple botched plastic surgery jobs, Lara Flynn Boyle is hideous as heck.
What's surprising is that nothing sexual occurred between the temp and her boss. The murder thing, although it's
obvious she did it, is implausible to believe from the get-go. There's no way she's capable of hanging Roger, and
there's no way a temp will rise to the executive position of marketing because of one faddish idea which was actually
ripped off from Working Girl. Companies worth its salt will perform background checks
and ask for official college transcripts.
All in all, you should go with Disclosure over The Temp.
Tempo di uccidere (1989)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/24
4/24:
Tempo di uccidere (Italian for Time to Kill) is so obscure that it's impossible to find much of info about it.
The only reason why the film gets any look is it stars Nicolas Cage. Anything with him in a leading role from the 80's is
bound to be either good or quirky. It seemed that way for a while for Tempo di uccidere, but things turned out to be bizarre
which torpedoed the film for good.
Well, that's that: Nicolas Cage plays an unlikeable character who gets no sympathy from me. He actually said something to
a magazine years later which may be the understatement of his entire career: "I find it weird that people say I'm weird."
At first, his military character develops a toothache that needs to be taken care of pronto. To do so, he walks off the base in
Africa for a dentist and gets into a truck accident because the driver is too chatty to pay attention to the road. Once again, he
leaves the scene of accident to continue his search for a dentist.
After reaching the construction site, he's pointed out the way by a worker where he wants to be at. During his hike, he literally
puts his smoking cigarette on a chameleon (this part got cut out for broadcast in the UK) and rapes a naked black female for the
hell of it after spotting her bathing alone at some pond. That's when I thought the appropriate title should've been
È ora di stuprare (Time to Rape).
While staying with her at a cave, he, after seeing some small wild animal, shoots his gun against a bunch of rocks, and
one of the bullets ricochets back to the black female which, in turn, hits her in the belly. To end her misery, he
decides to shoot her in the head and then buries her body in a crevice, hoping that nobody will find it.
After meeting up with his co-soldier and a superior for a round of drinks, he begins getting the idea of contracting
leprosy from the dead black female. Hence, he's ceaselessly worried about it despite meeting a doctor while running away again,
and all he wanted to do is to go home in Italy after reaching the end of his time in the military.
Somehow, he lands in the village where the dead black female used to live, and his infected hand is miraculously cured by her
father despite telling him that he killed his daughter and showed him where the body was. At the end, what he had turns out
not to be leprosy but a simple hand infection, and he's happy to be on the ship en route back to Italy. The end.
It's obvious Nicolas Cage's selfish rapist character didn't care about what happened to the black female; he was only
concerned about hiding his "leprosy" condition before being allowed to leave Africa. All he had to do was ask for hydrogen
peroxide and perhaps penicillin.
Anyway, Nicolas Cage's acting is fine for the most part during the first half, but in the next half, he turns into a caricature
like he's always been the last couple of decades. Throughout, I wondered why he agreed to do this weird
Italian picture that's shot on location in Zimbabwe given his enormous talent.
All in all, Tempo di uccidere is certainly out of left field, but it's worth watching, regardless, for Nicolas Cage's sake.
The Ten Commandments (1923)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
10/08, 4/22
10/08:
There's a great reason why most silent films are completely forgotten today, and The Ten Commandments is no exception.
The most surprising part is the how packed the two stories are in one film. What I was expecting from the
remake occurs during the first fifty minutes, but it just keeps going on and on for another hour and an half when I
thought to myself, "What more can there possibly be?" It's the random vignette of some poor bastard breaking
literally all of the Ten Commandments.
I'm rather annoyed by the narrow-minded vision that people must either follow the Ten Commandments or be lost
forever. Wow, that's a lot of Christian propaganda right there. Hence, I can't help but to fall asleep although the
performances by Richard Dix and Rod La Rocque as the McTavish brothers are well-done. Even better is Cecil B. DeMille's
direction which seamlessly incorporates the lavish visual effects with the goings-on, however muddled they are.
All in all, it's a good thing The Ten Commandments was remade.
4/22:
The 1956 version of The Ten Commandments is never going to be topped, but the silent picture is a good start anyway.
What I don't like is it's two films in one. The first half is plentiful while the second is more of an afterthought.
It's not to say either is bad, but showing an example for the present-day is extreme. The reality is everybody
breaks the Ten Commandments regularly and most can't recite them all off the top of their heads.
Thinking back to the remake, the original only covers from Moses telling Rameses II what he'll do to the firstborn children to
leading the Exodus to parting the Red Sea (which was done with a Jell-O sliced into two that got
superimposed against a reel of the Israelites walking through) to throwing down the tablets from Mount Sinai.
Still, the whole thing bothers me because I expected a longer buildup until the aforementioned events. The next
part is okay but is surprisingly twice as long as the biblical epic when it should've been the other way around. At any rate,
Richard Dix gives a sensitive performance while Theodore Roberts is no Charlton Heston.
Interestingly, the idea of making The Ten Commandments originated in a contest. The winning suggestion
to Cecil B. DeMille was: "You cannot break the Ten Commandments—they will break you." The massive structures as shown in
the silent film aren't the same ones used in the remake since they were dynamited, bulldozed, and buried beneath the
Guadalupe-Nipomo Dunes in northern Santa Barbara County, California.
All in all, Cecil B. DeMille was wise enough to remake The Ten Commandments by just focusing on Moses and
expanding the story.
The Ten Commandments (1956)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
2/08, 3/22
2/08:
Having seen The Ten Commandments many times in installments on TV during Easter time, I finally took the chance
to see it all in full.
It's one of the finest movies made, a wondrous spectacle with the outstanding hallmarks of what makes an epic. The
parting of the Red Sea by Moses is a sight to behold, the clincher for the film's lone Academy Award win. It's still
unbelievable for 1956.
The acting is impeccable, and even more so are the settings and thousands of extras and animals. Cecil B. DeMille's
bold, extravagant direction set the bar so high that it's difficult for the wannabe biblical epics to meet. Sadly,
The Ten Commandments would be the last film of his illustrious directorial career.
Charlton Heston will always be the King of Epics. The Ten Commandments, Ben-Hur, and
El Cid, he's simply
the best. But the most outstanding performance of the show goes to Yul Brynner as Rameses II. It's difficult not to be
impressed by him. Next is the beautiful Anne Baxter as Nefretiri, the former lover of Moses turned pharaoh's wife. What a
fine job she has done.
All in all, I wish there were more biblical epics like The Ten Commandments.
3/22:
As the final film by Cecil B. DeMille before his death in 1959, The Ten Commandments is a moving
biblical epic work of art.
It's rare the quality of a screenplay could be so good that it's close to Shakespeare's works, but that's the case for this
film. If the cast wasn't of high quality, the lines would've sounded theatrical. The Ten Commandments received seven
Oscar nominations but...only one win. What the heck? The Best Picture award went to Around the World in 80 Days, but I
guarantee you that the other one is far more memorable today, even after sixty-six years.
Speaking of Oscars again, not one single thespian received a nomination. It's a huge surprise. There are some standouts,
but if you have to ask me who gave a stronger performance: Charlton Heston or Yul Brynner, I'll have to say it's no
contest: Yul Brynner. It's fair enough he did win the Best Actor Oscar during the same year but for a different film:
The King and I. Cedric Hardwicke, Anne Baxter, and Edward G. Robinson are tremendous as Seti, Nefretiri, and Dathan,
respectively.
According to IMDb: "When Yul Brynner was told he would be playing Pharaoh Rameses II opposite Charlton Heston's Moses and that
he would be shirtless for a majority of the movie, he began a rigorous weightlifting program because he didn't want to be
physically overshadowed by Heston."
There are outstanding scenes, especially when there are monuments and thousands of extras and animals involved. But it can
be annoying at times when the principal characters stand in front of the traveling matte. The best and most
amazing scene of all time is when Moses parted and then unparted the Red Sea which clinched the film's lone Academy Award for
Best Visual Effects, going to John P. Fulton, the third and final of his career. It took approximately six months of work.
The story is great and all, but it didn't happen for real. In fact, Moses never existed. There is a complete
absence of archaeological and historical evidence to support any of the events as portrayed in The Ten Commandments. The
Israelites were never in Egypt, the bondage didn't happen, and there was no Exodus. To drive the point further, Dr.
Michael D. Coogan, lecturer on the Old Testament at Harvard Divinity School, said, "There is no historical evidence outside of
the Bible, no mention of Moses outside the Bible, and no independent confirmation that Moses ever existed."
Israel Finkelstein, director of the Institute of Archaeology at Tel Aviv University, and his colleague Neal Silberman, had
stated: "We have no clue, not even a single word, about early Israelites in Egypt: Neither in monumental inscriptions on walls
of temples, nor in tomb inscriptions, nor in papyri." William Denver, professor of Near Eastern archaeology and anthropology
at the University of Arizona, added: "No Egyptian text ever found contains a single reference to 'Hebrews' or 'Israelites' in
Egypt, much less to an 'Exodus.'" Another said, "Moses could not have parted the Red Sea, not only because it violates the laws
of physics and there was no Moses, but because there was no Red Sea to cross since Egypt and the Sinai Peninsula share a common
land border in the northeast."
All in all, The Ten Commandments is the best biblical epic picture ever made.
Ten Little Indians (1965)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/06, 1/08, 11/20
6/06:
Originally titled Ten Little Niggers for the 1939 paperback version, the 1965 film remake Ten Little Indians
is a superb murder mystery thriller.
Lovely is the black-and-white photography. As soon as Fabian starts choking, the roller-coaster ride takes off.
It's all nuts from there on with dumb characters failing to follow one simple cardinal rule: always stay together, no matter what.
If two leave the group with either coming back alone, then s/he is the killer; otherwise, both are not.
The feel, the suspense, the mystery, the atmosphere, the setting, and the cast are perfect. I like the ending because
it's how such a movie should go out. While I haven't yet seen
And Then There Were None, I'll give
it a high rating for the time being, and if I happen to be bowled over by the other picture, it still won't diminish my perspective.
Having liked Murder on the Orient Express because of the super all-star cast,
I found it to be a preposterous
picture because of the impossibility of solving the murder. On the other hand, Ten Little Indians makes it
easy to figure out who the murderer might be.
All in all, despite the cast of nobodies, Ten Little Indians is a highly underrated whodunnit murder mystery picture.
1/08:
I'm dropping my rating of '8' to '6' for Ten Little Indians.
The primary reason is poor acting. Also, the novelty is worn out. As much as I like mystery stories that include haunted
houses under a bewildering set of circumstances, Ten Little Indians is tired and clichéd with the feel of having
been-there, done-that.
I don't like any of the characters and think they're stupid. A couple are annoying as well: Mike Raven and Ilona
Bergen; but thankfully, they die early. It can be soap operatic at times. However, the ending is still a kick-ass.
All in all, perhaps I'm being harsh on Ten Little Indians, so I'll see it again later.
11/20:
Changing back my previous rating to '8', Ten Little Indians is a fun murder mystery picture, and I love the
black-and-white photography.
Yeah, sure...the film claims to have an all-star treatment when, in fact, it's full of nobodies. Who can remember Fabian the
fraudulent pop musician with no real singing voice? Or Shirley Eaton the former Bond girl who retired from acting in 1969?
Or Hugh O'Brian, the founder of the Hugh O'Brian Youth Leadership Foundation? No matter what, they're all perfectly cast.
Having seen Ten Little Indians plenty of times, it still feels new with an unpredictable ending, and I sometimes
forget who died when in what manner. Yet the true culprit is easy to figure out because of early detection in his smoothness.
Funnily, Mr. U.N. Owen is a word play for "Mister Unknown," but the voice behind the recording is none other than Christopher Lee.
All in all, I will gladly take Ten Little Indians over Clue any time of the day.
The Tenant (1976)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
10/05
10/05:
The Tenant is a strange film by Roman Polanski.
Unfortunately, the story is too murky to make sense of. Not many clues are offered. Sometimes, the changes
come suddenly when I thought Rosemary's Baby was calculating in a deliberate manner.
As for the performances, Roman Polanski is great. His character's transformation is at once eerie and fascinating.
All in all, The Tenant isn't bad but can be difficult to swallow.
Tender Mercies (1983)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/15
12/15:
Because Robert Duvall won the Best Actor Oscar for Tender Mercies, I thought I was going to see the performance
of his career.
However, I'm disappointed. It's so ordinary that he had done better in like...twenty other films. Give me
The Apostle, The Great Santini,
Apocalypse Now, Days of Thunder, or
M*A*S*H, and I'll be satisfied for a week. The movie per se is okay, but hardly much happens.
All in all, Tender Mercies isn't more than a Lifetime Movie of the Week.
Tension (1949)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/09
1/09:
Tension gives me a bag of mixed feelings, but it's a nice film noir picture.
The acting isn't bad, but there's a good deal of implausibility when it comes to the relationship between Warren
Quimby and his wife given their disassociation which is mostly felt by the latter. So, why does the husband need to bother
with her unless it's pure lust?
After Warren changes his identity and moves to a new apartment for weekend use, his life seems drastically improved
by meeting a much better lady. Yet the wife kills him, and for what? That's the problem with Tension. It doesn't make
sense. Then, the husband unwittingly goes along with her after finding out about it and eludes the police right to the end.
Audrey Totter overplays the femme fatale part because: (1) She doesn't look desirable enough due to her puny-sized breasts;
(2) She's no Marilyn Monroe; and (3) Her character is tired and dated...Scarlett O'Hara, anyone? I'm not surprised that her career
tanked afterwards. Had somebody else, say Claire Trevor, been cast, it might have been more believable.
On the other hand, I find the detective's actions unethical and immoral. There should've been charges filed against him for acting
irresponsibly on the job, resulting in loss of his badge. At the same time, his introduction along with the rubber band thing
is over-the-top silly.
All in all, Tension has logic problems yet makes for a worthwhile viewing.
Terminal Velocity (1994)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/14
9/14:
Terminal velocity is defined as the maximum speed an object will hit when free-falling to earth, and for human beings, it's
approximately 122 mph.
Anyway, Terminal Velocity is an action-adventure B flick starring Charlie Sheen, and uh... that's it. He alone makes it
watchable enough which features a lot of skyfalling stunts, but they're not awesome like
Point Break.
The story is idiotic because why does an American Joe Nobody want to help a KGB agent recover a gold bullion? What's
there to do in Arizona, a vast wasteland of desert, for the KGB agents? By the way, didn't the agency disband in 1991?
A heavy dose of skepticism is needed here. I'm sure the U.S. military has the airspace covered through its elaborate
setup of radars which means it isn't possible for a huge airplane to appear out of nowhere from Russia.
Meanwhile, there's an injection of some noir but not enough to make things interesting. At least, I get to see a
three-legged German Shepherd at the end. Notice the slow-moving blades of various windmills, so how can one be accelerated to
let blond-haired Kerr's freak death happen so conveniently?
All in all, Terminal Velocity is too mediocre to produce any excitement, and Charlie Sheen can do better than this.
The Terminator (1984)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
11/03, 6/07, 6/12
6/07:
The Terminator is a devastating sci-fi classic.
It's also the film that made Arnold Schwarzenegger a household name. If the bodybuilding champ wasn't the Terminator, he
would've never be the governor of California, period. Obviously, having pumped iron is 80% of the equation.
The other 20% is his stoic look. A lot of credit goes to Stan Winston for the makeup effect.
When Arnold Schwarzenegger met James Cameron at a restaurant, he wanted to audition for the role of Kyle Reese.
But the director took a look at him and said, "My God! You're the Terminator!" But Arnold replied, "No, no, no...I want to play Kyle."
Highly insistent, Cameron went, "Absolutely not! You are it. A machine!" Of course, I'm making up the exchange of dialogue,
but you get the idea of the magnitude.
There are many good scenes, but the best of them all is the shootout at Tech Noir. Arnold
Schwarzenegger is such a powerful, unstoppable force as the Terminator. The most famous movie line of his career is:
"I'll be back." That being said, he was obviously snubbed for an Oscar nomination in the Best Supporting Actor category.
I have to mention the fantastic acting performance by Michael Biehn. He sets the tone of the film,
making it a non-stop action thriller. Because of the battle between his character and the Terminator, the
level of realism is held high, especially when talking about machines taking over in the future.
All in all, Arnold Schwarzenegger was born to play the Terminator.
6/12:
This is the film that made Arnold Schwarzenegger a movie legend.
The Terminator is a devastating picture because how does a person stop somebody like him? Reese perfectly
nails it, "Listen, and understand. That Terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned
with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead."
All in all, The Terminator is a sci-fi masterpiece.
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/07
6/07:
Considering the year that Terminator 2: Judgment Day was made in, I have to be impressed with the special effects,
and I was back then.
However, being a huge fan of the original, I find the sequel overrated. The first hour is crippled
by the excessive display of special effects and some horrendous acting, especially from Edward Furlong. But things
are better in the next hour as there's less reliance on the former and more improvement in the latter.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is obviously the star. When his character turns out to be good instead of evil, it's the clincher which
makes sense because these machines can be programmed. Robert Patrick is excellent as his adversary with the chance to
show off some of the best special effects ever.
As for the story, it's not bad at all, yet I feel like I went through this before. Here's a stupid question. Say
if Kyle Reese wasn't alive until maybe around 2000 and if we follow the logic of time, John Connor would've been born
in 1984 or so. Then, the question is: who came first? My point is: if it's John, how can Kyle be his father, considering
he will need to be alive in 2029 or so to be able to time travel to 1984? To elaborate further, if Kyle isn't
there, then how can John be born? If it's a different father, does this alter the makeup of the leader? Think about that.
All in all, Terminator 2: Judgment Day is long and overrated, and I prefer the original.
Terminator 3:
Rise of the Machines (2003)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
6/07
6/07:
I was expecting Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines to be a bad picture, but I wasn't prepared to see
one of the worst ever made.
My gosh, it's truly that. Logic? Gone. Intelligence? Nada. Believability? Forget it. Rather, the
film is all about the monstrosity of sickening special effects.
"Talk to the hand." What the hell is this? Are the filmmakers telling me the stupid, sissy weakling is the future leader
of the resistance? He won't survive a prison gang rape. What's Claire Danes doing in part three? She doesn't know
how to act!
Now, I understand why James Cameron refused to direct it and why Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't want to come back. But the former
director urged his star to do it anyway so he could make a shitload of money. That's how he was able to finance his
gubernatorial campaign. Either way, it's clear that Arnold showed zero heart in playing the famed character.
On the other hand, Linda Hamilton is denied a big role because there's nothing more to do with her character. Who cares about
Edward Furlong?
Speaking of Los Angeles, why is John still there? How about going to somewhere like...North Dakota? Oh, right...if
somebody rides a motorcycle at 75 MPH and crashes, what do you think is the realistic outcome? If your
answer is "not much," then I will like you to give it a go.
All in all, the Terminator franchise has been officially turned into a cash cow.
Terms of Endearment (1983)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
3/05, 1/15
1/15:
Terms of Endearment is a weepy movie of the week that touches on cancer.
I admit, it's not bad, but Best Picture of the Year? I don't think so. One nice thing is that it doesn't treat death as if it's
a special thing. So, it's a relief.
The acting is excellent and low-key. It's Debra Winger who does well. Unfortunately, her character is underdeveloped
which explains why the mother comes off as looking better, nabbing an underserved Oscar win. As much as I can't stand Shirley MacLaine,
she does all right and has her moments in the final thirty minutes, but she channels too much of Amanda Wingfield.
Jack Nicholson, as great of an actor as he is, is somewhat out of place and is only there to provide a boost to make the film
better than it seems to be. Jeff Daniels is as regular as they come. Lisa Hart Carroll gives a decent supporting hand to her
co-star. Given this many thespians in the ensemble, I still don't think it's enough because for somebody like Emma, she should've
had more friends and relatives.
What I like is the depth of the characters and their chemistry. It's apparent during the home stretch. But can I believe in
the children's conduct? Not really. They act like strangers, no matter what at any point of time. That's why I give the
film a weak '7', and I'm being generous because I was never convinced.
All in all, Terms of Endearment is nothing special or glamorous; maybe that's the point.
Terror in a Texas Town (1958)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/15
10/15:
Terror in a Texas Town is a cross between High Noon and
Bad Day at Black Rock.
What I like is the brevity, the realism, the characters, and the simple story that was penned by Dalton Trumbo. The most memorable
part is the final thrilling showdown. However, it shouldn't have been revealed during the opening scene which got converted into a
spoiler.
Sterling Hayden is excellent as George Hansen. So are Nedrick Young and Victor Millan as Johnny Crale and Jose Miranda,
respectively. As Ed McNeil, Sebastian Cabot's presence ups the stakes in a Burl Ives way.
All in all, a lot of critics had probably dismissed Terror in a Texas Town as a run-of-the-mill Western B flick, but
I find its balance of the cinematic elements perfect.
Terror Train (1980)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/12
12/12:
Jamie Lee Curtis, the indisputable scream queen, stars in Terror Train and once again lives up to the label.
Her character is chosen to survive as expected. Meanwhile, Terror Train has some winning
elements to work with, making it a scary movie. The spooky atmosphere is set up well and doesn't feel
limited inside the train. Identified early is the killer, so it's no surprise there.
On the other hand, the movie can be boring at times, dragging down the pace. I didn't care about the characters, and in
fact, they probably deserved to die for what they did to Kenny Hampson who becomes effective at the end. Meanwhile,
there's no way he would've left the bathroom stall spotlessly clean after so much blood had been splattered all over the walls.
Although David Copperfield may have done a lot of convincing magic tricks during his lifetime, most of them look fake in the
film and are obviously helped by editing tricks. Incidentally, I'm surprised that Ben Johnson agreed to be part of
the cast, but it's nice to see him.
All in all, I prefer Slaughter High over Terror Train since both are of the same
cloth.
Tex (1982)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
12/12, 12/19
12/12:
Tex is the first S.E. Hinton picture made.
The other two, The Outsiders and Rumble Fish, are
disappointing on the whole although there are occasional moments of excellence. I haven't seen the fourth yet. But Tex is
the true winner and is so good that it should be regarded as the most definitive S.E. Hinton film. There's a great confluence
of energy among the cast, letting the chemistry flourish.
Although Matt Dillon was adorable and cute in The Outsiders, he's even more so here. In fact,
it's one of the best performances of his career. Pair him up with Meg Tilly, and the results can't be any better. Shot on
location in Tulsa, Oklahoma, it's a simple picture of growing up and facing life challenges. Matt Dillon's personality and
antics shine through; hence, it's easy to root for his character although he's dumb.
All in all, Matt Dillon is perfect in Tex.
12/19:
Tex is among the top three films of Matt Dillon's career.
When the two high school girls saw Tex at the mall and walked away, one of them said, "God, he is so cute." It's true.
At age 18, there's no question Matt Dillon was one of the best-looking young actors in Hollywood history. More
importantly, he could act. It was all too easy for him.
Matt Dillon is the only one to have appeared in the first three S.E. Hinton films, and Tex is, by far, the best of them.
It's a realistic coming-of-age story which takes place in Oklahoma, and revelations come quickly for Tex that life
isn't as simple as it seems.
What a great cast. The chemisty is 100% genuine. Kudos to Jim Metzler, Meg Tilly, Emilio Estevez (in his debut role), Phil
Brock, Bill McKinney, and Ben Johnson for turning in solid performances. They all make Tex a fun, fast-paced movie.
All in all, Matt Dillon is a wonderful talent.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
9/06, 4/12, 11/19
9/06:
Beautifully shot but slow in pace, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is a true horror picture with a great knack for sheer
depravity and terror.
What's conceived as a nightmare, it can easily be reality somewhere in the country. Conventional cinema rules aren't followed
but are rather done by instinct. When the action starts, it's effective as Leatherface coming alive.
All in all, no Best Horror Film list is complete without the inclusion of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
4/12:
Does this story interest you: a family of mental retards is into cannibalism and graverobbing and one guy with a
dead person's face is running all over the place with a chainsaw?
Well, it's a simple premise that became a big moneymaker for The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. There's no question that low
IQ, especially of the backwoods variety, breeds criminality, and what occurred in the film makes perfect sense to me.
All in all, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre rightfully belongs in the Horror Cinema Hall of Fame.
11/19:
A sleeper hit in 1974 with many theatrical reissues, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre mostly succeeds because of
Leatherface running around with his power tool of choice.
I admit it's slow-paced (Paul A. Partain as Franklin is the only one who gets the show going) and low in IQ with
a terrible script, and not much happens for a while. Finally, the last thirty minutes puts the stamp on it as
a straight-up horror movie without lots of gore or blood despite the nonstop screaming.
Yes, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is well-shot for an independent movie, but I caution anyone from reading too much
into its far-reaching influence. It's just a slasher movie about a family of mentally retarded cannibals, nothing more. That
being said, Tobe Hooper has almost never directed a good horror movie again although
The Funhouse merits attention.
All in all, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is the
Night of the Living Dead of the 70's.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
9/06
9/06:
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is an impressive remake of the original.
It's surprising to see how well the film was directed and acted. Most of all, it's the unflinching, unrestrained macabre
that makes it great. The story, which bears little resemblance to the original, undergoes
an interesting transformation. One negative is the pace that's slowed down during the last twenty minutes.
All in all, although the original rules, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is pretty good.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre:
The Next Generation (1994)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/06
11/06:
Wow, is Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation the worst ever?
In the midst of a dense fog, Matthew McConaughey constantly screams and loses his shit. It's highly doubtful he was
in the right frame of mind. That stupid mechanical leg of his has to be one of the most bizarre ever
conceived in movie history. So is the moment when a plane came out of nowhere to kill him.
I don't get it at the beginning that there are kids coming out of a prom in a seemingly populated town, and then, all of a
sudden, they're in the middle of nowhere asking to be hacked into pieces. It's a ridiculous piece of tripe in every way.
All in all, everybody involved with Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation was either mentally unstable or on
drugs.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
3/06
3/06:
Really, really, really, really...awful!
There's no saving this unintelligent piece of shit called The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. The dialogue is
terrible. There's little horror shown. Instead, I'm treated to many long camera shots.
During the opening scene, two loudmouthed dorks are shown driving while calling a radio station and are suddenly ambushed
by a truck carrying the chainsaw-welding Leatherface. So, why didn't the driver stop to turn around or speed up more?
Another stupidity is after the killers' hideout was discovered, nobody went to the police. There's no way the place would've
been cleaned up in a matter of hours. Speaking of the littered bodies, they must emit a foul smell that radiates all over the
great state of Texas.
All in all, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is a stupid, mindless non-horror picture.
Texasville (1990)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/15, 12/19
7/15:
Any connection between The Last Picture Show and Texasville is
purely coincidental.
In fact, you should forget the black-and-white classic ever existed. Texasville is one of the worst movies
I've ever seen. It's akin to watching an apathetically boring two-hour trashy soap opera episode of Dallas.
Although most of the ensemble cast return, none of them resembles the characters they played in the original. That's
because many were washed up in Hollywood hitherto and thus were desperate for work. The same goes for Peter
Bogdanovich who saw his career go in a steep decline after Mask. Hence, Ellen Burstyn
is the only one smart enough not to come back.
Of everybody, Cybill Shepherd, who looks greatly aged, is the worst. She takes up too much screen time, and her
character wasn't that special to begin with. It's nauseating to watch her parade around and act like she's the
queen of the town. Plus, thirty-three years is a hell of a long time to rekindle a friendship with Duane Jackson
(Jeff Bridges) which has been left for dead.
The lead actor of the original, Timothy Bottoms, is reduced to nothing. I'm not sure why Duane is the star
of the show when he was at best a supporting character and wasn't interesting from the get-go.
Keeping up with the new characters proves impossible for me. Sure, I can remember everybody's names from the
original but not in this sequel. When the closing screen credits rolled, I hardly recognized any of them.
All in all, Texasville is The Last Picture Show turned upside
down with everything gone wrong.
12/19:
Beyond horrible to the core, Texasville is an unwatchable sequel to
The Last Picture Show.
There's nothing special going on despite everybody trying too hard to make it to be otherwise. It's rather about
trashy stars of a failed soap opera sitcom. Let's face it: Jacy Farrow was the Slut of the Year in Anarene. She
should've skipped town and not come back. In reality, Cybill Shepherd is a no-talent actress whose fifteen minutes
of fame ran out quickly after her screen debut in
The Last Picture Show. Being naked had everything to do with it.
Why is Jeff Bridges in every damn scene? The original wasn't his but Timothy Bottoms' picture. Therefore, the
latter should've gotten the most attention; instead, all I got out of him is his lazy colorless eye. Oh, poor
Genevieve...she's in crutches, but who the hell cares? Cloris Leachman is on her exercise kick for
I-have-no-earthly-idea-why reason. The whole sad reunion makes no sense.
All in all, a giant box-office failure, Peter Bogdanovich made the mistake of allowing Texasville to exist.
That Championship Season (1982)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
4/17
4/17:
Remember Jason Miller?
The Oscar-nominated actor who played Father Damien in The Exorcist? It turns out he won
the Pulitzer Prize in 1973 for his drama play called That Championship Season that had 988 performances on Broadway.
Finally, in 1982, it was green-lit to be turned into a motion picture.
The best part is the acting. It's also nice to see the setting be shot on location in Scranton, Pennsylvania, giving it
an authentic look. Bruce Dern, Paul Sorvino, Stacy Keach, and Martin Sheen are equally outstanding. It's what I
call acting. But Robert Mitchum shines the most and may have turned in the best performance of his career. He's
the sole reason why That Championship Season is a special film.
The ending, especially when they listen to the play-by-play announcement of the title game in 1957, is brilliantly shot.
The characters may have been once state champions, but boy, do they have real-life problems. Their brotherhood is put to the
test by a violent night of ugly revelations.
All in all, That Championship Season is one of the most overlooked films of the 80's.
That Hamilton Woman (1941)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
7/15
7/15:
Reportedly, That Hamilton Woman is Winston Churchill's favorite film, having seen it over eighty times.
It's not hard to see why because it's an excellent film that's about overcoming adversity to rouse the British
(and possibly the Americans) to enter WWII and showcases the very best of Laurence Olivier's and Vivien Leigh's talents
in their third and final picture together.
In many ways, That Hamilton Woman is Vivien Leigh's picture. She was that good of an actress. Throughout the
history of motion pictures, there's Vivien Leigh, and there's the rest. Consequently, she won the part of Scarlett
O'Hara for Gone with the Wind and was able to go toe-to-toe with Marlon Brando in
A Streetcar Named Desire. She had the confidence to deliver her lines in
the middle of the action without any difficulty.
I've complained in the past there had been times Laurence Olivier truly belonged in the theater because he hardly
translated on screen. But in That Hamilton Woman, thanks to Vivien Leigh's presence, Laurence Olivier finally
achieves a breakthrough and makes a case of having the goods for cinema. As a result, he's convincing as Horatio Nelson.
Alexandra Korda should be credited for keeping the facts accurate as much as possible when it comes to the relationship between
Horatio Nelson and Emma Hamilton. He also stages one of the best naval battle spectacles ever by filming how it went down during
the Napoleonic Wars in the early 19th century. Describing a particular scene, one reviewer said:
"The Battle of Trafalgar is breathtaking. HMS Victory was constructed to scale, but the ships-of-the-line in the
background were the size of dinghies, manipulated like puppets by prop men inside of them. The battle took place in a tank
with wind machines that roil the water convincingly. One would never guess that this elegant set was jerry-built on a low
budget. It makes many of the CGI effects in films today seem paltry in comparison."
All in all, That Hamilton Woman is a British masterpiece about a real-life love story.
That Thing You Do! (1996)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
12/20
12/20:
The only one of his directorial career prior to the turn of the century, That Thing You Do! is a nice, catchy,
and three-cheers picture by Tom Hanks.
Yes, there've been tons like it, and all have been formulaic: a hot, new music band enters the scene, rises meteorically,
hits the peak, and goes down in flames just as quickly. This time, it only took three months for these guys of The Wonders,
making for the shortest run of a one-hit wonder band in movie history.
The star of the film is Tom Everett Scott who strangely looks like a Tom Hanks clone. However well-developed as his
character is, it leaves little to no room for the rest of the guys in the band. I mean, who are they? I don't think
one had a name. What happened to the drummer who got replaced? It's like he never existed after he broke his arm.
The ending is abrupt, thanks to the disappearance of three band members. Out of the blue, there's love in the air that seems
to have nothing to do with what's going on. At one point, Tom Hanks makes a snide commentary about these
Beach Party movies featuring Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello.
All in all, That Thing You Do! is a simplistic Horatio Alger music picture, but if the flaws can be ignored, it's
actually entertaining.
That Was Then... This Is Now (1985)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
9/21
9/21:
Well, that's interesting: Emilio Estevez wrote an adapted screenplay.
That Was Then... This Is Now is the final S.E. Hinton book to be converted into a movie and is the first not to star Matt
Dillon. At least, Emilio Estevez can share the same claim of fame with him by appearing in three out of four such pictures.
He started writing the screenplay during the filming of Tex, having been touched by the book;
eventually, his father Martin bought movie rights to it.
Cast for the role that feels mostly tailor-made for Matt Dillon, Craig Sheffer does an admirable job of making me realize that
he was actually an actor before A River Runs Through It came along. Emilio Estevez
plays an unlikeable character, reminding me too much of how he was in St. Elmo's Fire. Morgan
Freeman is in the early stage of his budding acting career.
I knew Mark was trouble from the start, and he's a dangerous influence. His brain was apparently broken. Bryon had to
cut him off for good, so he could try to live a normal life. Of all S.E. Hinton's book-to-movie adaptations,
Tex is the best. That Was Then... This Is Now finishes in second place but is not even close
to the winner. Having almost the same feel, both are far better than The Outsiders and
Rumble Fish which are bad pictures with lots of style but little substance.
The trouble with That Was Then... This Is Now is that it's not convincing and the ending is weak. The message doesn't
come through to me strongly as it should. I'm not sure if it's the lack of acting talent or it needs Matt
Dillon or it's an issue with the director. Then again, Christopher Cain did do mediocre movies throughout his career. Perhaps
it's a redundant topic in the last three S.E. Hinton films, having explored teen angst and class issues once too many times.
All in all, That Was Then... This Is Now is a nice try but no cigar.
Thelma & Louise (1991)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/09
2/09:
Famous ending or not, I don't like Thelma & Louise.
The only thing I remember about it after all the years is Brad Pitt because of one unforgettable scene. He was
destined to be a star from that day forward. However, his acting is okay here.
Harvey Keitel once again plays a detective, so how many movies is that now for him? Michael Madsen continues to repeat the
same tired routine: do something with his eyes, look away while he speaks, and play with his cigarette. I like
Christopher McDonald as Darryl, and he's a funny guy.
Hitting the zenith of chick flickdom, Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis are okay, but the weak screenplay hurts them a lot.
The movie is also too long, so cutting out at least thirty minutes will be helpful.
All in all, I didn't care when Thelma and Louise drove off the cliff.
There Goes the Neighborhood (1992)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/13
3/13:
I saw There Goes the Neighborhood in 1992 and thought of it as a funny movie.
Now, time hasn't been kind. It's a boring picture with a great deal of overacting. The jokes aren't subtle, either. It's hard to
take Jeff Daniels seriously as a psychoanalyst when he doesn't know how to talk like one. What the filmmakers did with Hector
Elizondo's character is overboard.
All in all, thanks to the flaws, There Goes the Movie is the more apt title.
There's Something About Mary (1998)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
Once in a while, there's a movie that will be loved by the public, but in reality, it's disgusting and therefore overrated.
One of them is There's Something About Mary. In fact, there's nothing special about her. I hate every single thing
about the movie. It isn't funny and has many crude moments.
All in all, There's Nothing About Mary is tasteless, vulgar, and sophomoric.
They (2002)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
This will be a short review because They is practically about nothing.
It's like Alone in the Dark meets Boogeyman. Not a
single thing works. I kept asking myself, "Where's the movie?" That actress...she needs to eat. No, Wes Craven didn't produce
this piece of crap. He only presented it, and I don't know what the hell that's supposed to mean.
All in all, Hollywood needs to stop churning out shit like They.
They Call Me Bruce? (1982)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
1/17, 4/22
1/17:
A surprise box-office hit that only ran in less than 325 theatres grossing almost $17 million, They Call Me Bruce? is
a below-average comedy with some great one-liners.
Johnny Yune's character is mistaken for Bruce Lee because he happens to look like him. He's also a dunce when it comes to
martial arts. To make up for the lack of his skills to avoid a fight, Bruce says things like:
"With my right foot, I can knock out that knife. With my left, I can kick your nose. With this hand, I can poke out your eyes.
With this, I can break your neck. Take a good look at my face. I'm an oriental."
"I am a sex object. Every time I ask girls sex, they object."
"I was once run over by a Toyota. Oh, what a feeling."
"You're a 10 where you should be a 36!"
"Really?" in response to "Gambling? I met a woman who made her husband a millionaire by gambling," "Yeah, but he was a
billionaire before."
"We were so poor. One time, burglar broke into house. We robbed him."
Forget the rest of the film. It's terrible.
All in all, Johnny Yune is great and very funny in They Call Me Bruce?
4/22:
Dropping a point in my rating, They Call Me Bruce? is a bad movie.
Had the filmmakers focused on Johnny Yune most of the time, it might have worked out better. A near Bruce Lee look-alike, he
has winning lines, but the secondary characters, most especially his friend, keep taking away the screen time. The result is
a dismal comedy that's made especially worse during the last half hour.
All in all, They Call Me Bruce? is hopelessly dated.
They Call Me MISTER Tibbs! (1970)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/11, 1/22
1/11:
Taken from the über famous quote in In the Heat of the Night, I love the title:
They Call Me MISTER Tibbs!
In fact, if the movie is going to be all about Sidney Poitier yelling that line to each person who gets it wrong or doesn't
know his place every five minutes, I'll be totally satisfied. I want everybody to feel the power and intensity of
Sidney Poitier's voice.
Regardless, the film isn't bad, but the fatherly stuff has to go. It's distracting and unnecessary when the filmmakers should've
focused on the case while dealing with the boiling tension which makes for a delicate situation.
The story is good, and my interest is sustained most of the time despite the slow start and occasional sluggish pace.
Another aspect that I like is the addition of forensic science to the equation. Once again, Sidney Poitier
has a commanding presence, stealing the show from start to finish. He's the chief reason why the film is
watchable. I wish Sidney Poitier would yell, "They call me MISTER Tibbs!" at least once.
All in all, although it's a light version of In the Heat of the Night,
They Call Me MISTER Tibbs! is fine enough to pass the time.
1/22:
Raising my rating from '6' to '7' for They Call Me MISTER Tibbs!, the camera loves Sidney Poitier.
He's a '10' while the movie is dated, tackling a run-of-the-mill case, and is almost not a sequel to
In the Heat of the Night. Instead of a bachelor detective in Philadelphia,
Lieutenant Virgil Tibbs is married with two kids in San Francisco which is oddly not shown much. I prefer the
other way around because the family part is too distracting.
Sidney Poitier has two dramatic scenes: one with his character's son when he slaps him until the boy comes to his senses
and the confrontation with Logan when Virgil finally gets the confirmation. Virgil should've watched Logan at all
times until he has him secured in the car. Yet I was rooting for the priest to show he's innocent, regardless.
Well, he did it, and that's that. What a delicate situation that Virgil Tibbs had to deal with.
In the meantime, It's a fine performance again by Sidney Poitier. Martin Landau is convincingly good. Anthony
Zerbe plays a fun slimeball. As Puff, Beverly Todd can be recognized as Joe Clark's vice principal in
Lean on Me.
All in all, if you're a huge fan of Sidney Poitier, They Call Me MISTER Tibbs! won't disappoint.
They Live (1988)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
9/12
9/12:
Wow...Rowdy Roddy Piper stars in They Live.
If you don't know who he is, obviously you aren't familiar with WWF. If you don't know what that is, forget it. Now, I
wonder if Roddy would've made a good second choice for the Snake Plissken role in
Escape from New York.
Anyway, I like the concepts as presented. In the philosophical sense, it's
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
meets The Thing minus the gore. I read somewhere that The Thing,
Prince of Darkness, and
In the Mouth of Madness comprise John Carpenter's Apocalypse Trilogy, but really,
They Live should be part of it, too.
The reason for the loss of points in my rating is that some of the scenes, most notably the fight between Roddy's and Keith
David's characters, take away a lot of energy from the film. At one point, the former robs a bank while packing an arsenal of
guns but gets away with it? It'll never happen.
Consider the number of mutants in the world, killing a few of them isn't going to solve the problem. It should be
done through mass effort. Instead, John Carpenter solves the problem by taking out the link between the two worlds. However, is
it subject to only one region?
All in all, They Live is a good film that's saddled with logic flaws.
They Live by Night (1948)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/09
1/09:
Making his directorial debut, Nicholas Ray creates a fine depressing romantic film noir called They Live by Night.
Farley Granger may be well known for starring in two Alfred Hitchcock pictures, Rope and
Strangers on a Train, but he's at his best here. The chief problem with him is his
youthful-looking face. It probably explains why he disappeared from Hollywood not long afterwards.
Nevertheless, Farley Granger is perfect for the role as he works well with Cathy O'Donnell. I like the other two characters
played by Howard Da Silva and Jay Flippen; both set the tone of the film before the two leads take it from there to keep the
momentum going for as long as possible.
About three-quarters of the way, the steam starts to run out, and when the ending comes, Nicholas Ray fumbles the poignant
moment while shooting a shabbily handled climax. Had it been done correctly, I would've given the film a '9'. One impressive scene
is the aerial shot during the opening scene which will be repeated in two Clint Eastwood's films:
Dirty Harry and Play Misty for Me.
All in all, They Live by Night is an impressive film noir picture with great performances, a superbly crafted
story, and wonderful lines but falls short of perfection toward the end.
They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (1969)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/06, 2/19
8/06:
They Shoot Horses, Don't They? is an apt title because it's a powerful, unique picture about a forgotten
sporting event that occurred during the Great Depression.
Certainly not a Jane Fonda movie at all, this one has fine acting and surreal moments. Michael Sarrazin, Susannah
York, and Oscar winner Gig Young are the standouts. The desperate look on Susannah York's face says it all about the struggle.
All in all, who cares about the winner of the marathon dance contest in They Shoot Horses, Don't They?
2/19:
They Shoot Horses, Don't They? is a brilliant, sad movie about a now-banned sporting event that went on during
the Great Depression.
There used to be dance marathons from 1923-1932 which enticed financially broke couples for shelter and meals as long
as they kept dancing, which went go on for weeks or months, until there's a final couple standing to win a cash award.
Disqualifications came to those who stopped dancing or fell to the ground on their knees.
Some companies would sponsor the contestants by slapping logos on their backs. Fifteen-minute bathroom and nap breaks were
offered by the hour. The contestants were forced to sleep on beds that were situated in the middle of the dance floor in front of
the spectators who were charged an entrance fee of two bits. To reduce the number of dancing pairs, there were elimination
sprints aka derbies. After the mounting number of suicides and deaths among the exhausted dancers, dance marathons were finally
outlawed and then disappeared for good.
So, yes...They Shoot Horses, Don't They? captures all of them which features powerful performances by Oscar winner
Gig Young, Michael Sarrazin, Susannah York, and Red Buttons, among others. The most surreal moment is when the contestants
are forced to do the derby and everybody is exhausted and desperate not to be the last couple to cross the finish line.
All in all, you have to see They Shoot Horses, Don't They? to believe it.
Thief (1981)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
10/11
10/11:
Well, Michael Mann proves his directorial brilliance again after working on The Jericho Mile.
Before there was Heat, there was Thief. It's a fantastic neo-noir caper picture
that features an outstanding performance by James Caan. One of the best scenes of all time is his conversation with Tuesday
Weld at the diner. James Caan admitted to being very proud of it.
The story is also well-done, but it's the performances that put the film on another level along with Michael Mann's
distinctive style. I've never seen James Belushi act this well while Willie Nelson is spookily good.
All in all, Thief is a top five picture for Michael Mann and James Caan.
Thief of Hearts (1984)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
2/21
2/21:
Thief of Hearts is a rarity in Steven Bauer's oeuvre because it's very hard to catch him in the
leading role for a high-budget Hollywood picture, especially during the 80's.
That being said, Steven Bauer dominates the movie because of his Cuban charisma. He should've been
a star afterwards, but nothing panned out for him the next two years. Hence, having been relegated to a bunch of supporting
roles, Steven Bauer became forgotten in spite of what he did in Scarface.
The biggest trouble is Barbara Williams. She's often a letdown, showing no chemistry with either
Steven Bauer or John Getz. I don't see any great beauty in her. Barbara Williams and Steven Bauer are supposed to ignite
fireworks like how Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke did in 9½ Weeks, but they never do.
I always rip David Caruso apart, but in this one, he's surprisingly good. Still, his acting needs
work, and it hasn't improved since then. John Getz is terrible, often coming off as a self-absorbed jackass. George
Wendt proves why he will always be Norm of Cheers and should stay there forever.
As bad as the supporting players are, the Mickey's interior design work is hideous. What the hell was
Scott thinking? That's $100,000 down the drain for nothing. Mickey wrote all the crap in her journal about her alter ego's
sexual desires; when Scott gave her the golden opportunity to make them happen, she chickened out. Some hypocrite Mickey is.
"I don't remember pulling the trigger." Um, right. Since Scott did, this means four facts will be discovered by the police:
(1) The gun is cold; (2) There's no gunpowder residue on her hands; (3) Scott's partner was shot in the back rather than the
other way around; and (4) The bullet inside him isn't going to match Mickey's gun which is moot anyway.
All in all, it's a shame about what happened to Steve Bauer's career; he deserves better.
Thieves Like Us (1974)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/24
3/24:
Shot on location in Mississippi, Thieves Like Us is a solid period picture that's set in the 30's which is the Great
Depression era.
At first, it's talky and somewhat confusing. Then, things are settled down. Afterwards, it's been an interesting experience, the
kind that Robert Altman always delivers, putting Martin Scorsese to shame when he did
Boxcar Bertha two years earlier. The cast is excellent, and the standouts are Keith
Carradine and Shelley Duvall. As usual, the cinematography is stunning.
Parts of the film remind me of Gosford Park. I knew the ending had to come like that; even
Louise Fletcher, who makes her screen debut which actually led her to the famous Oscar-winning role in
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, being nice to Shelley Duvall all of a
sudden was a dead giveaway. I like the use of the radio as the center for everybody in terms of information and
entertainment. The only negative is the slow pace, but it's fine.
All in all, fans of Robert Altman shouldn't miss Thieves Like Us.
Thieves' Highway (1949)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
1/18, 6/22
1/18:
Originally titled as Thieves' Market, Thieves' Highway came to me heavily recommended, but after
watching it, I was like, "Really?"
I'm not sure what the critics were thinking, but it's not a film noir by any means. There are many problems that plague
it, and the three big ones are: hammy acting, slow pace, and simplistic story. In other words, they're the typical hallmarks
of a Jules Dassin film.
A case in point is the family reunion at the beginning. The scene is as phony as it gets. Seeing later that Nick favors Rica,
the proverbial hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold, over his fiancée, I'm left at a loss for words. I mean, what's wrong with Polly
Faber? Having seen enough of Jules Dassin's films, he's, just like Fritz Lang, a liability more than anything.
Brute Force, Night and the City,
Du rififi chez les hommes, and Topkapi aren't
what I call good pictures. They're either obvious or corny in style.
I like Richard Conte and have enjoyed his past performances. It's just that I wish he had better material to work with.
He tries his best here, but nothing works. Lee J. Cobb isn't bad, either, but he's starting to look
typecast which will hit the zenith in On the Waterfront.
All in all, I'm developing a strong aversion to Jules Dassin's movies.
6/22:
There's hokey, and there's Jules Dassin hokey and Thieves' Highway is just exactly that.
Film noir? Ha! The characters are corny, and the atmosphere is banal. Nick Garcos had no plan to begin with. By the time
he reached the fruit and vegetable market square in San Francisco, he couldn't wait to go to sleep while leaving his truck
on the street with these boxes of apples ready to be stolen in plain view. When he woke up, there's still no plan,
and he decided to wander around, showing off his low-IQ behavior. Ridiculous.
It's amazing how much Nick dug Rica after meeting her for mere hours in spite of having a longer relationship with his fiancée
Polly. What's Rica's history? She doesn't look trustworthy and may be a prostitute for all I know. But Nick still
digs her. After Ed Kinney is burned to death, nobody seems to care about him afterwards. If that's the case, then why spend
so much time on him?
All in all, Jules Dassin is the Master of Hokey.
The Thin Man (1934)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/13
7/13:
The Thin Man kept airing on TCM all the time, so I decided to watch it to find out what the fuss was.
Wow, what an overrated, dated picture. The Thin Man embraces alcoholism as if it's a perfectly
acceptable activity that makes men more intelligent and worldly than they actually are. How little these people knew by then.
Many of them died young in their forties and fifties back then.
Like The Big Sleep, the plot is hard to follow, and even harder is the characters
to keep up with. They come and go, and I've stopped caring not long afterwards. The last fifteen minutes of the booze-filled
sleuthing adventure is full of armchair observations and scanty evidence.
All in all, you should skip The Thin Man and go straight for
The Maltese Falcon, the stuff that non-alcoholic dreams are made of.
The Thin Red Line (1998)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/16
5/16:
Now...I know why I never saw The Thin Red Line for many years.
I can't believe I sat through this from start to finish which is three freaking hours long. Sheesh, it's the most
touchy-feely and the most boring war picture I've ever seen in my life. Even Sean Penn cries for the hundredth time.
Hey thanks, but no thanks. I'll stick with Apocalypse Now. I don't think I've seen many
Sexiest Man Alive winners and candidates in one film like The Thin Red Line. However, there are two positives, and I
want to go through them.
First, I love Nick Nolte's performance. He's brilliant and is the only one of the ensemble cast who actually acted. Elias
Koteas steps to the plate and does a credible job. Second, John Toll's cinematography is something else which is the biggest reason
why the film gets a '4' from me instead of either '1' or '2'. Some shots are perfectly timed. Also, how the colors mix and
match blows me away. On a side note, Toll won Best Cinematography Oscar twice for
Legends of the Fall and Braveheart.
All in all, The Thin Red Line resembles too much of the Vietnam War to pass for a WWII picture.
The Thing (1982)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/06, 1/24
2/06:
Want to understand why I always diss Wes Craven every chance I get?
It's because John Carpenter made so many outstanding horror movies that Wes Craven isn't even in his league. Among his top three
films of all time, The Thing is a bona fide horror classic that greatly improves on the original in every way possible.
The plot is terrific. It's very much like Alien which can be traced through Agatha Christie's
And Then There Were None. But this time, everybody dies because it's for the
sake of saving the world from this unstoppable monster. The movie is pure terror all the way to the end.
I love the underrated performance by Kurt Russell. What's special about it is his effortless display of leadership. When
he leaves everybody to themselves, the film feels empty. After he comes back, the pace is picked up, and
everything moves along briskly.
A lot of credit goes to Rob Bottin for his special effects artistry to make The Thing a scary picture. After learning the
craft from Rick Baker, he went on to work on various films such as Legend,
The Witches of Eastwick, Innerspace,
RoboCop, and Total Recall.
The latter earned him a shared Oscar for Special Achievement Award.
All in all, John Carpenter is a legend of the horror genre, and The Thing is among his masterpieces.
1/24:
The Thing is among the best films John Carpenter had directed.
Forget the original. It's obsolete. The movie starts in the first minute and never lets down thereafter. Most
of the credit goes to Rob Bottin for the special effects which is the game changer. Some of the smartest things John Carpenter
did were sticking to the original outline of the novella "Who Goes There?" by John W. Campbell, having an all-male cast that's
reduced to twelve identifiable characters who are never annoying, and cutting down the verbosity of the script.
If anything, it's the ending that's somewhat sour. Has R.J. MacReady taken care of the problem? How do I know
Childs wasn't gotten? It's hard to believe the compound had to be destroyed. Can there be a more sensible
alternative? Obviously, one strategy is to stop separating the group. If everybody was forced to stay together all the time,
it would be easier to figure who the Thing might be, but the ingenious test came too late.
All in all, The Thing had bad reviews for a long time, and I completely disagree with them.
The Thing Called Love (1993)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/15
5/15:
Despite the brilliant directorial debut of The Last Picture Show, Peter Bogdanovich
had a bunch of failures, and The Thing Called Love is among them.
It's also River Phoenix's final film before his untimely death from a drug overdose on a Halloween night at the infamous Viper
Room that was once partly owned by Johnny Depp.
When I watch River Phoenix in the film, I see somebody who's high and wired. He's also sloppy, consistently
failing to make eye contact with all of his co-stars. His mannerisms, especially the twitches, are akin to somebody with
Parkinson's disease. Too slick to be believable, River Phoenix is miscast as an aspiring country singer.
As for everybody else, they're terrible. Samantha Mathis is no actress. Sandra Bullock is full of shit. Dermot Mulroney
is corny. Like River Phoenix, none of them is believable for the least second. Billy, who's played by Anthony Clark,
is useless and in dire need of character development.
The songs...my goodness, they're the worst. I can't believe these lyrics were green-lit. That's why the
title is misleading as it should be called The Silliest Country Songs You've Ever Heard. Hence, the
film took in one million dollars at the box office versus a budget that's fourteen times that much.
All in all, The Thing Called Love, an Urban Cowboy wannabe, is a prime example
of how the wrong cast can kill a film.
The Thing from Another World (1951)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
10/07, 1/24
10/07:
Just because many critics had called The Thing from Another World a sci-fi/horror masterpiece
doesn't mean I must automatically bow to the label.
Well, it's a boring stinker. People talk all the time. I was aching for John Carpenter's picture not long into it.
There's one guy who won't shut the hell up. I just want to punch him in the face. Because nobody has killed him, he proceeds
to ruin the film.
As for the horror part, there isn't much to see. Hence, there's no creation of suspense. The John Carpenter classic
had lots of it. So, all I'm left with is an interesting battle between military and science which did keep me somewhat awake.
Since the setting takes place at the North Pole, I'm surprised to see dogs left outside. The temperature must be
what....minus 80 degrees Fahrenheit? And the sun is out a lot? Hm, that's interesting given it always shines on the equator
but almost never comes near either of the poles.
All in all, John Carpenter made an excellent decision to remake the horrible picture called The Thing from Another World.
1/24:
Heroin addict Charlie Lederer wrote a lot of junk screenplays including this talky borefest
The Thing from Another World.
Whenever Scotty complained about not getting his story out, I just wanted to punch him in the face. The cast should've also
yelled, "Shut the fuck up!" and threw him outside if he wouldn't. Besides, why was a non-military newspaperman
allowed access to the compound? Talk about oil and water.
How did this genius named Dr. Carrington figure everything out in a short amout of time and put it so eloquently in words?
By the way, what he said about the acanthus century plant catching mice, bats, squirrels, and any small mammals by using
sweet syrup for bait and holding onto its catch to feed on it is pure bullshit. Ditto for the telegraph vine. It must have been
the heroin kicking in for the idiot Charlie.
The story isn't close to John W. Campbell's novella "Who Goes There?" Do you know what a Geiger counter does? It detects
radiation. And that means what? Acute, if not fatal, poisoning which will begin within an hour. It's not far-fetched to say
the amount of radiation the Thing was carrying had to be way off the chart considering it came from outer space. And don't give me
the crap about it being a vegetable; of course, they can kill the Thing with fire.
Apart from the sheer impossibility of cutting out a three-ton block of ice that held the Thing, why would anyone in his right
mind bring him inside the compound? Yeah, great idea...let's melt him and deal with the problems afterwards while
asking some general over the radio if they should kill it or not. Duh. It's amazing how calm everybody is with some of them
cracking a joke or two to pass the time.
All in all, John Carpenter did the smart thing by remaking The Thing from Another World.
Things to Come (1936)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
9/17
9/17:
Things to Come...*eyes roll*
I'm surprised at Alexander Korda for directing it. He's way better than this first British million-dollar
claptrap which died pathetically at the box office in both UK and the United States.
It's hard to understand what's going on. There's a basic idea, but the same actors who play different
characters in varying time periods make it all confusing for me to follow.
Because H.G. Wells hated Fritz Lang's Metropolis (I don't blame him there), he decided
to make a better film by writing his own screenplay and then directing it only to be replaced by William Cameron Menzies due to
his incompetence behind the camera. Ironically, the latter ended up copying just about everything from
Metropolis .
All in all, fans of H.G. Wells are better off reading The War of the Worlds for the umpteenth time.
Things to Do in Denver
When You're Dead (1995)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/21
10/21:
Obviously a Tarantino wannabe, Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead has a strong cast and a hip
screenplay but sometimes runs loose.
One sign of good editing is knowing what to cut out. In this case, I was starting to get bored at the hour mark because of
some needless parts. Why Reservoir Dogs and
Glengarry Glen Ross worked is tight editing. As a result,
they're fast pictures with crisp and, more importantly, memorable dialogue. They also have movie moments while
Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead has none at all.
The cast is unbelievable as it contains Andy Garcia, Christopher Lloyd, William Forsythe, Bill Nunn, Treat Williams, Jack
Warden, Steve Buscemi, Fairuza Balk, Gabrielle Anwar, Christopher Walken, Glenn Plummer, and Bill Cobbs. Jenny McCarthy, Don
Cheadle, and Tiny Lister also have small supporting parts. There's plenty of pedigree by those who've come from Sidney
Lumet films while Andy Garcia recaptures a great deal of Vincent Mancini's persona from
The Godfather Part III.
At first, the dialogue is confusing to follow, but as soon as Andy Garcia leaves the malt shop, it starts to make sense, thanks
to Jack Warden providing some explanation what certain slang words mean. Things are better going forward. Of course, I knew,
and Jimmy should've known, from a mile away that Critical Bill was going to fuck up everything. It's what psychos do for fun.
What a mistake it was to have him on the crew for a simple operation. Instead of doing nothing, why not all the condemned men
go after The Man with the Plan? What's there to lose if they're going to be killed anyway?
All in all, thirty minutes shorter, and Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead might hit the sweet spot, but it
desperately needs a few timeless scenes.
The Third Man (1949)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/05
4/05:
Considered by many as one of the finest films noirs, The Third Man has left me underwhelmed.
A boring movie, it drags and drags like a hook caught underneath the water to stall the boat. Although the introduction is
fantastic, the plot isn't. A good deal of intelligence is missing. For example, if Harry Lime is adroit enough to corner
the black market and fake his own death, then why is he so stupid to be caught?
Holly Martins, what a silly name for a caricature who pens stupid stories. Another thing I don't get is why is the Interpol
eager to supply information to some unknown writer? Were they banking on him in the hopes of grabbing Harry Lime? Uh, right.
By the way, Harry Lime was named as one of the top 50 villains on the AFI list. But these idiots don't realize it's a
British movie! Then again, they did think Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid were heroes in spite of them robbing banks for
a living.
All in all, what a letdown The Third Man has been.
Thirteen (2003)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/21
4/21:
Joining the ranks of Prozac Nation and
Crazy/Beautiful, Thirteen features a compelling story
about self-destructive female teenagers going through life too fast.
Although it's easy to pin the blame on Evie Zamora, she's not the reason why Tracy fell apart. Prior to befriending each other
for the first time, each was a poor white trash girl with irreparable deep-seated problems.
Evie simply became the catalyst that caused Tracy's life to disintegrate past the point of no return. When together,
they're quite dangerous, but imagine how productive Evie and Tracy would've been if they led positive lives instead.
To make matters worse, Tracy is a cutter which is evidence of low self-esteem. Anyone who slashes her wrists for fun
needs immediate psychiatric help because that's a dumb thing to do. I don't know how Tracy got away with
it because her mother and brother should've noticed the scars on her arms considering they see each other on a daily basis.
Rawly mirroring Kids in many ways, the performances are outstanding. Why weren't Evan Rachel Wood
and Nikki Reed nominated for Oscars? They were 15 and 14 years old, respectively, at the time. It's an impressive feat. The story
was based on Nikki's life when she was at the same age, so she and her surrogate mother, Catherine Hardwicke, partnered
up to write the Oscar-worthy screenplay.
Holly Hunter's reactions to what was happening to her character's daughter are appropriate, hence the Oscar nomination,
because she's helpless and perhaps not intelligent enough to know how to deal with it. Always meaning well, Melanie wants to be
considered a "cool" and "hip" mother. By doing so, she forsakes discipline which is exactly what Tracy needed in the
first place. Without it, she can't achieve stability because the foundation within herself hasn't been properly developed.
The most serious mistake is the camera work. It's erratic and has extreme close-ups at times. The director should've trusted
the principal leads to let their performances shine.
All in all, Thirteen is like an imminent car crash that makes it hard to look away.
Thirteen at Dinner (1985)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
12/10
12/10:
After seeing Murder in Three Acts, I was eager for more from Peter Ustinov by
immediately going to Thirteen at Dinner.
Needless to say, I'm disappointed with the film after hoping for a great one because Faye Dunaway is also part of the cast.
The bland direction is the biggest issue, so it's not their fault.
Trying to follow the plot is hopeless as it has gotten away from me. Therefore, I've lost interest, not caring who the murderer
might be. Of course, the ending is typical of any murder mystery film: sum up the facts and magically produce the killer out
of the blue.
In comparison, Murder in Three Acts was more interesting, easier to follow, and had
better cinematography and dialogue. I'm only giving this film a '4' because of Peter Ustinov
and Faye Dunaway; they're excellent as usual. Meanwhile, I must point out something stupid: the killer happened to put on
somebody's eyeglasses for impersonation. It's impossible since he won't be able to see through them given they're prescribed.
All in all, I don't mind these Agatha Christie pictures with Peter Ustinov, but they need to be improved more.
Thirteen Conversations
About One Thing (2001)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/15
1/15:
Thirteen Conversations About One Thing is misleading because what is that specific thing they're all talking about?
No, the appropriate title should be Emotional Intelligence. It's easy to predict how everybody will react to a given
situation, big or small, and handle it afterwards. John Turturro's and Alan Arkin's characters deal with the mugging incident
in different ways because one will accept the consequence while the other will be resentful. The same goes for being hit by
a car.
That's why emotional intelligence, which is mostly derived from IQ, is a big factor that determines the person's
personality. People are questioned all the time whether they see the glass half-full or half-empty. The given answer says a
lot about them.
Because Matthew McConaughey's character is a lawyer, he should know better not to drive away because his actions weren't
criminal to begin with. So, I blame the director for causing the situation to be murkier than necessary because it's
manipulative which prevented me from seeing the whole picture.
On the other hand, the male physics student who jumped out of the building is a "who cares?" moment because of his inability
to deal with the truth that he isn't academically cut out for medical school. There must be more into his situation that
I don't know, but the final exam is usually never the be-all and end-all. Rather, it's a cumulation of his preparation going
back for years.
Anyway, Alan Arkin gives the best performance of the ensemble cast, and nobody is even close. It's because his character is the
most developed; in other words, he's the most human while the rest is more or less plastic and therefore not worth caring.
There's a New York feel going on, but it's not too New York like these awful Woody Allen movies even though the formula is
exactly the same. From start to finish, the only adjective that screams out to me is "pretentious," and I can never shake it
off.
All in all, Emotional Intelligence is a thought-provoking picture with intelligent conversations, but it's been
mainly Alan Arkin's show.
Thirteen Ghosts (2001)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/03, 1/24
1/24:
Maybe having twelve ghosts in a film is one too many to keep up with, don't you think?
Thirteen Ghosts borrows a bit from William Castle's picture by sticking to the original premise and then goes in a
different direction. This time, it's laden with CGI, flashing lights, and futuristic architecture crap. At least,
they've done a good job with the glasses thing which was initially a failure. Unfortunately, nothing is scary for a
second. Um, please explain this to me: if Arthur has many bills that are past due date, then how is he able to afford a nanny?
Pouring salt on the wound is the inclusion of the annoying Matthew Lillard who's always screaming in every film. As a
result, I developed a splitting headache, leading to my rating of '3'. Ironically, Matthew Lillard's character made an understatement
of the century: "You don't have to scream, all right? Just...chill." It's exactly what I wanted to say to him.
Well, the cast is awful. I wanted their characters to die. A couple of the females became overly enamored with the
stuff which got disgusting in no time. The ghosts never kill anybody except for Matthew Lillard; it's only a flogging at best. I
don't get it...what's F. Murray Abraham doing in this piece of shit? He later confessed that he did it for the money. It's amazing
because I don't understand how his character survived after being slashed in the throat during the introduction. If they
say he's actually a ghost, then why does he appear in the flesh when the glasses aren't put on?
All in all, Thirteen Ghosts has numerous mistakes, and the biggest of them all is Matthew Lillard.
The Thirteenth Floor (1999)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/22
3/22:
Forget The Matrix...The Thirteenth Floor is the real deal.
Both are similar films, but the latter is much more accessible and has a stronger plot. When something happens, it may not
make sense for a minute or two but will be cleared up which is cool.
It's also neo-noir in nature with great cinematography. If you thought that Douglas Hall's house looked familiar, it
should be because that's the one got featured a lot in Blade Runner. A residential
dwelling that's located in Los Angeles, the Ennis House's design is based on ancient Maya temples.
I've never seen Craig Bierko in anything from the 90's. After looking over his résumé, he had a small part here and there.
Good-looking, he's excellent in The Thirteenth Floor and should've been cast in leading roles more often. Dennis
Haysbert is perfect as the detective. Vincent D'Onofrio occasionally overacts. Everybody else is fine.
The most interesting concept is the setting that primarily takes place in simulation when I thought it was the real
world the whole time. Then, unlike The Truman Show, it turns out that there's another simulation within it. Hence, there
are three worlds going on at once, and it takes some work to orient myself in terms of which character is in which world.
All in all, unfairly ripped apart by the critics, The Thirteenth Floor is an impressive sci-fi neo-noir picture.
This Gun for Hire (1942)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
11/15
11/15:
This Gun for Hire has all of the qualities I look for in a noir picture but lacks the oomph to make an impression.
Veronica Lake appears beautiful at first glance, but she's rather ordinary when I look at her for a long time. Worse,
she can't act and never tries hard enough to be special. Here, her performance is average although she has a
nice magic act show.
This Gun for Hire marks Alan Ladd's screen debut in a leading role, and he isn't that bad. In fact, he looks like a
perfect substitute for Alain Delon in Le Samouraï. As linear as it gets, the story is stupid
and commonplace as compared to other films noirs. Hence, there are no surprises with a predictable finish whereas Orson
Welles did it a thousand times better in The Lady from Shanghai.
All in all, This Gun for Hire is a minor league film noir with a nice performance by Alan Ladd.
This Is England (2006)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
12/16
12/16:
This Is England is a complicated coming-of-age UK picture that takes place during the early 80's.
The reason why the film gets a '7' from me is that it's unfocused. What exactly is the primary theme? In one way,
This Is England is about becoming a skinhead. In another way, it's about learning hate. The third is it's
about being in a gang whose members have a lot of things in common.
Then, we're onto the silly Falklands War. Next is the nationalism. Skipping ahead is the music. Or is the entire
thing a big giant trip down the memory lane for old time's sake? I mean, what's the movie about? Just pick a theme,
and stick with it, no matter what. Anyway, the acting is uniformly good. There's no question the characters are
borderline mentally retarded. It's what school is for.
Stephen Graham, who's familiar as Tommy the sidekick to Jason Statham's Turkish in
Snatch, steals the film, and he has several defining scenes. The best one is when
his character was told the truth by Lol in the car and how he reacted afterwards. Apart from Stephen, everybody
else is more or less the same. Compared to the first half which has a nice buildup, the second falls apart due to
loss of momentum. To end the film exactly the same way as
Les quatre cents coups is both weak and clichéd.
All in all, the filmmakers need to learn how to centralize the story in order to make a more cohesive picture.
This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
10/04, 10/04, 6/05, 2/06, 8/07, 2/10, 2/15, 3/17
6/05:
Ladies and gentlemen, direct from Hell, Spinal Tap!!
David St. Hubbins
"Well, I don't really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like?
It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then
how—what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's
stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you."
"I envy us."
"I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been, that there was
a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Alright? That tended to understate the
hugeness of the object."
"It's such a fine line between stupid and clever."
"Before I met Jeanine, my life was cosmically a shambles. I was using bits and pieces of whatever eastern philosophy would
drift through my transom."
"Well, I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation."
"I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn't
believe anything."
"But you're not as confused as him, are you?"
Nigel Tufnel
"Well, I don't know, wh...wh...what are the hours?"
"In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people—the Druids. No one knows who
they were or what they were doing..."
"You can't really dust for vomit."
"It's like, how much more black could this be? And the answer is none. None more black."
"These go to eleven."
"We're not university material."
"It's a complete catastrophe."
"Eleven. Exactly. One louder."
Derek Smalls
"I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water"
"Hello, Cleveland! Hello, Cleveland!"
"Can I raise a practical question at this point? Are we gonna do 'Stonehenge' tomorrow?"
Mick Shrimpton
"As long as there's, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll."
Marty DiBergi
"This pretentious ponderous collection of religious rock psalms is enough to prompt the question, 'What day did the Lord
create Spinal Tap, and couldn't he have rested on that day, too?'"
"Why don't you just make ten louder, make ten be the top number, and make that a little louder?"
All in all, This Is Spinal Tap is brilliant.
2/06:
Genius is written all over This Is Spinal Tap.
Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, and Harry Shearer are brilliant. Many viewers thought the band was real, and they got
fooled big time. That's how convincing these actors were.
All in all, to think of This Is Spinal Tap is to think of the timeless quotes and scenes.
8/07:
This Is Spinal Tap remains one of the funniest, most quotable pictures of all time although the humor
has lost a lot of punch due to repeated viewings.
Despite the fact that I probably have memorized at least 75% of the lines, I still can't get over how good the film is.
All in all, putting many rock and heavy metal bands to shame, This Is Spinal Tap is the best mockumentary ever.
2/10:
This Is Spinal Tap still holds up to this day.
Michael McKean,
once again, is brilliant; it's the way he delivered his lines in a dead-pan manner. Ditto for Christopher Guest.
Taken from Wikipedia: "It became a common insult for a pretentious band to be told they were funnier than Spinal Tap."
All in all, This Is Spinal Tap goes to 11.
2/15:
There will never be another This Is Spinal Tap.
3/17:
This Is Spinal Tap is a classic.
This Property Is Condemned (1966)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/15
2/15:
This Property Is Condemned is based on a typical Tennessee Williams' play and is as Southern Gothic as it gets.
It's the beautiful Natalie Wood, draped in Edith Head's wonderful costumes, who runs away with the film by giving the best
performance of her career. Not yet a major star, Robert Redford, who's also good as the laid-back Owen Legate, is
overtly upstaged by Natalie Wood.
Responsible for the film's ending, Kate Reid does better than Redford by sticking it out in Natalie Wood's presence. The
second of three roles during her entire movie career, Mary Badham, who's über famous for her Oscar-nominated role in
To Kill a Mockingbird, looks all grown up, plays the narrator, and can still act.
Natalie Wood's Alva Starr is right in the middle between Blanche DuBois and Scarlett O'Hara, leaning more toward the former. She
lives in a fantasy world and only sees the positive things. Legate is a practical corporate do-man from a railroad company
who takes things as they are. At first, he's struck by Alva's sexual beauty but can't stand her Southern airy behavior.
Eventually, he falls in love with Alva because of her radiance. When the couple is in New Orleans, they're engulfed
by location shots including Lafayette Cemetery Number 2 and City Park's bridge.
Finally, it's the mother, who's a survivalist and uses her daughters to run the whorehouse which brings on the ruin of
Alva's happiness and subsequently Willie's care. One of the best parts is how Starr Boarding House is set as the fixture of
the story.
All in all, This Property Is Condemned is better acted, less theatrical, and more believable than either
Baby Doll or Cat on a Hot Tin Roof that features a powerful performance by Natalie Wood.
This Sporting Life (1963)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
5/19, 11/19
5/19:
People forget that Richard Harris was among the best actors to hail from the UK, and his finest hour
was captured in This Sporting Life, a rough, abusive British kitchen sink drama.
There's no doubt Harris' Frank Machin was the death of his woman. Ironically, he called her crazy, but
he was even crazier and, worst of all, pussy-whipped. To be fair, Margaret deserves some of the blame for taking
too much while giving little back. All Machin knows is violence; it's the only way he can express his feelings.
Regardless, the excellent performances got Richard Harris, who's a cross between Marlon Brando and Richard Burton,
and Rachel Roberts Academy Award nominations for Best Actor and Best Actress, respectively. They
deserved them. I'm impressed with these two for never allowing the film to be stagy.
I saw Look Back in Anger with Richard Burton and Claire Bloom some while ago and
wasn't impressed with it although it's the original of the British kitchen sink drama genre. I have to say This Sporting Life is the
quintessential that's more caustic and edgier in terms of human drama.
If there's a negative, some of the momentum is lost during the second half which is thankfully picked up with ten to fifteen minutes
left. It may have run too long as well. These are minor issues while everything else has been undoubtedly terrific.
All in all, This Sporting Life is a complex film about anger and violence.
11/19:
Powerful and violent, This Sporting Life is the definition of British kitchen sink realism.
Richard Harris' performance is a testament of what an enormous talent he was back then. It's hard not to be bowled over by
his tough, uncompromising acting. Rachel Roberts is special, too. The depressing violence shown by their characters is both
sad and pointless.
All in all, This Sporting Life is a dark film of complicated themes that are mired in violence and harsh living.
The Thomas Crown Affair (1968)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/08, 1/24
6/08:
Directed by Norman Jewison, The Thomas Crown Affair is an "eh."
Because of the fantastic pair in Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway, I had high hopes. The terrible editing that's
punctuated by the lame 60's style is what killed everything. At the end, it feels like I saw a series of shots with lots of
emphasis on wardrobe, hair, and expensive toys.
Throughout, I was hoping the original would be better than the remake with Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo, but surprisingly, it
never was. Yes, it's a pretty picture with a marginally better plot. But must everything be so dull?
All in all, Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway have done great films, but The Thomas Crown Affair isn't one of them.
1/24:
Steve McQueen may have been the King of Cool, but he sure starred in plenty of stinkers such as The Thomas Crown Affair.
Despite upgrading my rating from '2' to '3', the movie was clearly made for five-year-old kids and like-minded adults.
It's all about cigars, expensive toys, and Aryan looks. Unbelievably, Vicki Anderson surmises what might have happened in
a mere minute and therefore pinpoints the mastermind. While Vicki is at it, maybe she can figure out the identities
of Jack the Ripper and the Zodiac Killer.
Steve McQueen never had to try hard to be cool, but this time, he's reaching. When it happens, he looks silly. It's
not Faye Dunaway's finest hour, either, as she's more interested in her ever-changing wardrobe and hairstyle. They
have no chemistry, and yes, forget about the stupid chess match. Making matters worse is the laughably dated split-screen
technique.
All in all, The Thomas Crown Affair has many problems and ends quickly before you know it.
The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/04, 6/07
6/07:
What happened, Mr. John McTiernan?
Has he completely lost it? The director went from fantastic action pictures such as Predator and
Die Hard to unredeemable pieces of shit like
The 13th Warrior and The Thomas Crown Affair.
Whoever thought Rene Russo was sexy or something along the lines must be out of his mind. Being the kind of person who
should've stayed in Tennessee, she's ugly with a square-jawed face. I once caught the marathon episode of sexy movie moments
on TV, and The Thomas Crown Affair was one of them. Uh...no. Either the voters hadn't experienced much in life or needed
to get out more often.
If anything, it's a boring clunker with a terrible cast and an even worse screenplay. I can't believe the bullshit that's
put forth before me. Of course, Rene Russo was going to proceed to destroy the movie with her zero sex appeal. How can anyone
think she's a credible actress? On the other hand, Pierce Brosnan is okay. It's just that he needed the right actress to make
the film work, but his James Bond persona definitely has to go. Strangely, Denis Leary manages to stink up the joint with
his constant negative attitude. Get rid of him already.
All in all, RIP John McTiernan.
The Thorn Birds (1983)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/25
3/25:
The Thorn Birds is eight hours of nothing.
Hey, David Wolper...what the hell happened? You had it in Roots and then
repeated the magic in North and South. They were masterpieces of a
miniseries which started with three ingredients: solid writing, strong characters, and a sweeping vision.
Chronologically sandwiched between these two, The Thorn Birds contains none of them. Instead of a promised
epic, I'm bored to death by the whole soap opera bullshit. And of course, that's not Australia but California,
pure and gold. Ditto for the almost all-American cast. Funnily enough, as they showed the miniseries all over
the world, it was widely ignored in Australia.
Richard Chamberlain has never been more than bland his whole life. Therefore, he's a terrible pick to play
Father Ralph de Bricassart. Robert Redford would've been better (I found out afterwards he was originally a choice).
Somebody with his looks...he can make the passion believable. Then, there's Rachel Ward. Granted, she's beautiful,
but what a terrible actress, especially when she closed her eyes in order to "feel" this special something before
blurting out her lines. I couldn't help but laugh. Instead of Rachel Ward, why not get Lesley-Anne Down? Now, how
about that weird character played by Christopher Plummer? All of the talks he had with his protégé scream
"homosexual" to me.
Another mistake is killing off two valuable assets quite early: Barbara Stanwyck and Bryan Brown whose late
appearance caused me to say, "Finally! A real Australian." Had they stayed on longer, The Thorn Birds might
have gone somewhere. But it's moot because Mare Winningham showed up during the fourth episode to ruin everything.
If Madonna didn't exist, she would, hands down, win the Worst Actress of the 80's award. I couldn't stand the stupid
bitch and wanted to strangle her. Oh, yeah...Barbara? Learn how to play dead because I can see your Adam's apple
moving constantly.
If I were the filmmakers, I would've started the story when Meggie was about 16 to 18 years old. Going earlier
is to cross the pedophile territory. Remember Richard Chamberlain's age was close to 50 while Sydney Penny
was 12 or so. Due to the quickening of the timeline, the development of any character is skipped
over. Just because a person died doesn't mean I should feel deeply because I didn't know who he or she
was, especially the Clearly brothers. They've tried to make Mary Carson's death the most meaningful and
impactful of all, but everybody was well off in the long run, causing her to be thoroughly forgotten. Why didn't
anyone take Mary's portrait down and throw it in a fire? Having the ill luck to meet two losers in a
row, Meggie should've sampled more men, especially in Sydney, the capital of Australia.
The script is a prime example of "What Not to Do." Nearly every line never advances the story or adds depth
to the characters. It's dialogue for the sake of dialogue to fill in the time. Nothing sticks. You only need to
watch The Godfather trilogy for what I mean. Furthermore, every twist has
been so predictable that I can see it coming at least an hour ahead of time. Oddly, the eight-hour miniseries
deals with priests, yet the content involved seems to be 1% religious. The most anyone has gone is "God" this or
that. There are no Bible stories, verses, psalms, or anything else.
All in all, compared to Roots and
North and South, The Thorn Birds is a massive disappointment.
Thrashin' (1986)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
11/08
11/08:
Thrashin' brings back good memories.
Not having seen the movie before, the way it portrays everything is spot-on. The clothes perfectly match the time, so do the
skateboards and the hairdos. The posters displayed on the walls in Corey Webster's bedroom are exactly how the skateboarders'
rooms looked.
One thing I was perplexed to see is kids wearing All-Star Converse when everybody had Airwalk back then. Sometimes, it was
Vans. However, I looked up the history of Airwalk Company, and it first went into business in 1986. Therefore, it's fairly
close, and I will excuse that. Another is the sight of some skateboards as if they came from K-Mart. Anyone who once had
those boards should immediately know they had the slowest wheels ever. No real skateboarder would be caught dead with them.
Not corny the least bit, Thrashin' is charming and fun, and even more impressive is the skateboard stunts.
I wasn't surprised when the closing screen credits rolled to display the names of who did them. Regardless,
the mix of Josh Brolin and the stunt doubles doesn't take away the fun.
All in all, Thrashin' is the best skateboard picture made although
Gleaming the Cube will give it a run for the money.
Three Arabian Nuts (1951)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
Are the Three Stooges this terrible, or are they really that terrible?
All in all, is it ever going to get better?
Three Dark Horses (1952)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
Three Dark Horses is the oddest and the dumbest Three Stooges picture I've seen so far.
All in all, the Three Stooges suck.
Three Days of the Condor (1975)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
9/23
9/23:
The formula as presented by Three Days of the Condor is familiar, going back to
The 39 Steps.
Even The Bourne Identity isn't out of the question, but to be fair, the book
Six Days of the Condor was published first in 1974 while The Bourne Identity came out in 1980. Yes, there are
significant differences, but the feel remains the same.
What's nice about the cast is it features four Oscar winners: Robert Redford, Faye Dunaway, Cliff Robertson, and John
Houseman. But it's Max von Sydow who steals the show as the professional assassin who has respect for Condor because of his
unpredictability. On the phone, director Sydney Pollack did the voice of the boyfriend.
The movie starts off awkwardly, but after Condor's colleagues are assassinated, that's when it takes off. While the story
can be interesting from time to time, it's hard to look past the weirdness of Faye Dunaway's character developing Stockholm
syndrome as she shows interest in her captor. Of course, for convenience's sake, it's Robert Redford, and she's cuckoo over
his blond hair.
All in all, Three Days of the Condor makes for a fair viewing despite the redundant story and the laughable romance
between Robert Redford and Faye Dunaway.
The Three Faces of Eve (1957)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/23
6/23:
Apart from Sybil, The Three Faces of Eve is notable for being the movie to
see that deals with multiple personality disorder (MPD).
Of course, it's all bullshit. Many psychiatrists agree that MPD isn't real and that it should be
removed from Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. To escape from its shady and
controversial history, the proponents have changed the name to dissociative identity disorder (DID).
Most likely, there's at least one underlying disorder which can be safely addressed with evidence-based treatments
whereas it doesn't exist for MPD. The "disorder" is rare and is rather exploited by criminals as a possible defense
to evade responsibility for their crimes (it doesn't work nowadays; judges and juries can see through such a ploy).
Those who do believe in MPD are only profiting from it. A patient can bring them $20,000 in income annually, but
many insurances have stopped paying for it.
Back to the film. Whoa! Alistair Cooke wants to be dramatic by saying it's based on a true story and nothing was
made up. Wrong. The real Eve White, her name was Chris Costner Sizemore. A high school dropout, she wasn't
prematurely "cured" but was rather so during her 70's. They also faked an incident while leaving out a couple.
Chris "had witnessed a series of gruesome incidents including her mother being bloodily injured in a kitchen
accident, the funeral of an infant, the dragging of a corpse from a ditch and a man being 'cut in half by a saw
at a lumber mill.'" She was also in an abusive relationship with a sadistic boyfriend.
Now, who knows if Chris did have MPD for real? But if I were to bet, I'm sure it's something else or two, but the
treatment of mental illness treatments was in the infant stage back then, even in the 30's and 40's when
electroshock and lobotomy were in vogue. It's probably the last two decades that various forms of mental illness
had been almost fully understood and therefore treated better.
As for Joanne Woodward, I'll say she did fine, but she's an actress which means anyone else in her profession
could've done the same thing. In other words, it's not remarkable, hence the silly Oscar win. To look at this in
another way, what Joanne did is play different characters for three different movies, but this time, she got to
play them all in one.
All in all, bullshit or not, The Three Faces of Eve isn't interesting.
Three Kings (1999)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
8/23
8/23:
I don't see Three Kings as a black comedy but an action-adventure story in the spirit of
The Man Who Would Be King and Walker.
The themes are similar: men travel to a foreign country to make their fortune. That's the plot of Three Kings: get in,
get the gold, and get out while the rest is noise. Of course, the plan doesn't work out as expected.
Having never seen the film before, I knew of its reputation, but I was caught off guard by everything: editing, cinematography,
and brazen display of ignorance. However, it's a well-made and well-written movie that's fast and furious but slows down in
the final forty-five minutes. There were a lot of problems on the set as the director was being difficult with everybody
including George Clooney.
The acting is very good, but I don't like the lead characters. They're nothing but common thieves. Hence, there's no rooting
interest in them. I was hoping that Mark Wahlberg's character would die, but he didn't. His role seemed perfect for Matt
Damon, but he actually turned it down. I think it's because he had gotten out of
Saving Private Ryan. To Mark Wahlberg's
credit, he allowed himself to be shocked for real. By the way, why is the title called Three Kings when four soldiers
were involved in the scheme? They say it's because three survived at the end. I guess.
All in all, Three Kings is a shocking tale of attempted thievery against the backdrop of the Persian Gulf War.
Three Little Beers (1935)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
Three Little Beers is a strange name for a short featuring the Three Stooges.
It's funny most of the time when the trio is playing golf. Then, it gets worse afterwards.
All in all, Three Little Beers is mostly "fly high, go south, and crash and burn."
Three Little Pigskins (1934)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
Three Little Pigskins doesn't work for me.
Most of the short feels stagy as evidenced by the show put on by Moe, Larry, and Curley. I didn't laugh that much but
rather became annoyed by their ineptitude.
All in all, Three Little Pigskins is disappointing.
Three Little Pirates (1946)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
I guess, at this rate, the Three Stooges pictures are either hits or misses, and Three Little Pirates is a big
miss for lacking comedy.
All in all, Three Little Pirates is bad.
Three Loan Wolves (1946)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
Three Loan Wolves is stupid, boring, and pointless.
All in all, skip Three Loan Wolves.
The Three Musketeers (1948)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/12
7/12:
Let this fact be stated: all film versions of The Three Musketeers suck.
The book is as inimitable as ever and will never be faithfully captured in cinema. As you may draw this inference, the 1943
picture of The Three Musketeers is terrible...terrible...terrible! There's nothing French about it that's the image of
honor, chivalry, and statesmanship.
Instead, what I got is a scene of Gene Kelly (who's too old to play d'Artagnan) becoming the first American Peeping
Tom actor to go batshit crazy to the point of near erection at the sight of June Allyson clad in a simple nightgown. The
look in her eyes reveals some of the awful acting that'll lie ahead for the rest of the film. By the way, Allyson's
character isn't the daughter but the wife of a mercer landlord!
Not pretty enough to be Milady de Winter, Lana Turner gives a wretched performance. Constance is appointed as the gaoler for
Milady...in England. It makes so much sense given she works for the Queen of France. Hence, the question must be asked:
why...the...hell...is...she...in...England? What experience does she have in gaoling? What makes her a suitable fit for the
duty? Some of these Hollywood filmmakers were idiots back in the day.
Hardly much of participation is drawn from Aramis, Athos, and Porthos, and the worst part is that I still have no idea who's
who in the picture. Oh yes, as history goes, Richelieu was the Cardinal but...NOT THE PRIME MINISTER OF FRANCE. Get the facts
straight, imbeciles. He didn't have higher powers than King Louis XIII and thus had no right to utter the treasonous
statements in King's court.
What happened to the famous scene at the Battle of La Rochelle? Unimportant! How about John Felton? Irrelevant! Any more
encounters with Rochefort? Who cares! What about Bonancieux the landlord? Disappeared! Where were Grimaud, Mousqueton, and
Bazin? Gone!
At least, the film captures some of the major points which makes for a good adaptation. That's okay, but the
sword fights, my goodness, they've lulled me to sleep. However, Gene Kelly is agile, and his stunt work is
impressive. On the other hand, I can believe Van Heflin was drunk during the filming.
All in all, the 1948 version of The Three Musketeers took me four days to complete largely because of the massive
ennui that had fallen upon me.
The Three Musketeers (1973)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
10/11
10/11:
Alexandre Dumas' The Three Musketeers is one of my all-time favorite books.
I've read it three times and also the four sequels: Twenty Years After, The Vicomte de Bragelonne,
Louise de la Vallière, and The Man in the Iron Mask. They're the standard of literary masterpieces.
Watching the 1973 version, I was impressed with the willingness to
stay on the true path of the story. However, it's filled with a number of detractions which are mostly unnecessary.
The cast is awful, and I don't see many of the thespians as the famous characters in the book. The worst has to be
Frank Finlay as Porthos. I'm sorry, but I don't sense the Herculean strength in him. Meant to be a swashbuckling adventure
with Machiavellian plots and intrigues, the movie is passed off as a raunchy comedy? The filmmakers must have missed the
point completely. It's safe to say they probably never read the book.
Missing is the numerous characters including Grimaud, Mousqueton, Bazin, Kitty, Count de Wardes, and John Felton. More notably
is the absence of many important subplots and the final tragic ending. Anyone who's of royalty or the Musketeers conducts his
or her private affairs in public when, in the book, that never happened once; they all took their affairs seriously and went
to great lengths to conceal them with the utmost care.
Another is I never got to know Aramis, Porthos, and Athos. In the book, I knew what each stood for and his personal beliefs.
In order to be a Musketeer, one must fight valiantly in some battle. D'Artagnan achieved this feat during the Siege of La
Rochelle which was omitted from the film despite it serving the biggest turning point in his camaraderie with the three famed
Musketeers.
Earlier, d'Artagnan received a sword from his father as a gift before sallying forth for Paris; it was rather money, a horse
of peculiar color, and a letter of introduction. The identity of the Man of Meung wasn't known until end of the book. And of
course, movie projectors didn't exist during the 17th century. Thomas Edison...hello?!? Constance Bonacieux didn't make love
to d'Artagnan before the diamonds plot and perhaps afterwards. She only used him to aid her Queen Anne of Austria.
Constance was later murdered by Milady. Anyway, I can go on and on, but forget it...the filmmakers don't care.
All in all, the 1973 cinematic version of The Three Musketeers does disservice to the one of the greatest novels ever
written.
The Three Musketeers (1993)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
9/10
9/10:
What they did with the novel The Three Musketeers for the 1993 film is to bastardize it and
steal the names of the characters while making up a rubbish story.
I'm not going to say Alexandre Dumas must be spinning in his grave. Rather, anybody associated with the film should be
tarred, feathered, and finally quartered. Spare no one. As for the erroneous goings-on, I must respectfully point
out a couple of them.
One, the Cardinal of France cannot be converted to a king, no matter what. He has no rightful claim to the throne. His
duty is to the church and only the church. If the king passes away, then the queen takes over. If she's dead, then the brother
of the king or whoever else is legally granted the right by virtue of royal lineage. But the cardinal? Impossible.
Two, Anne of Austria was married to the King of France to create an alliance between Spain and France, not Austria and
France...jeez. Get the facts straight. What powers did Austria have back then?
Forget the inaccuracies of the story as presented in the film because obviously, it isn't about
the famed characters. While at this, why bother titling the movie The Three Musketeers if it bears no resemblance to
the novel? The cast is a blasphemy while the fencing display is the stuff of boredom which is a
direct result of bad schooling. In the book, the well-known slogan was only uttered once and never again, but in the
film, it's been said too much.
All in all, the Disney version of The Three Musketeers is garbage.
Three Smart Saps (1942)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
Three Smart Saps was working out well for a while until overstaying its presence after a false ending.
All in all, Three Smart Saps might have gotten a '6' from me, but the final result brings it down to '4'.
Throw Momma from the Train (1987)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
3/06
3/06:
There are some motion pictures I'll have to suspend my disbelief, and Throw Momma from the Train is one of them.
I won't go so far as to say it's a great film but rather a strange one, especially when it comes to making a comedy
about killing the mother. Of course, the story is highly engaging, if farfetched and deranged, from start to finish.
What works the best is the talent of Danny DeVito who's able to hold everything that's barely together.
However, I'm not impressed with Billy Crystal who's bland and unfunny. Let's not forget the incredible
job by Anne Ramsey who'll be forever remembered for this film.
All in all, Throw Momma from the Train pays a nice homage to Alfred Hitchcock's
Strangers on a Train.
Thunder Road (1958)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/24
2/24:
Robert Mitchum is a moonshine bootlegger ready to battle the United States government on asphalt, hence Thunder Road.
So, is the movie good? Well, the subject matter is interesting and all. Draped with Kentucky/North Carolina/Tennessee feel,
it's only slow-paced because the people are normal doing normal things. Yeah, there's the unbelievable opening scene of
Mitchum's car flipping over but landing on its fours before driving away. Other than that, it's not bad for the most part.
Robert Mitchum's son, James, has a supporting role, and I can't get over the uncanny resemblance they have of each other. Either
way, it's a nice flavor added for Thunder Road. James Mitchum's part was meant for Elvis Presley, but his manager asked
for too much money. So, he got it instead to make his first on-screen appearance. Similarly for Mitchell Ryan who'll be
memorable as the general-turned-heroin-smuggler in Lethal Weapon.
What's nice is there's a good deal of film noir. Robert Mitchum has two women in love with his character, but I bet
you never knew this: Sandra Knight, who plays Roxy, was once married to Jack Nicholson, but that's before he hit big in
Easy Rider. It's the first and only marriage for him.
All in all, Thunder Road is strictly for Robert Mitchum fans.
Thunderball (1965)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/11
1/11:
Thunderball might be the best yet for the James Bond franchise.
It isn't as stupid as the previous three pictures, and the action is plentiful and taut. I love the scuba diving
adventure. Surely, I've never seen a battle of divers this extensive and long.
Sean Connery gets to do a lot when he was mostly useless in Goldfinger. As usual, James
Bond takes advantage of his womanizing ways to bed more women (look no further than the movie poster where you see him adorned
by four scantily clothed women which is retarded).
Although the final fifteen minutes is thrilling, I don't like how it ends. The archvillain is finally intelligent.
And please...no more easy way outs for James Bond. By the way, they aren't Golden Grotto sharks but tiger sharks.
All in all, Thunderball gives me some hope for the next installment.
Thunderbolt and Lightfoot (1974)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
10/14
10/14:
Many times while watching a picture, I always ask myself, "Why should I be rooting for the criminals?"
That's what happened for Thunderbolt and Lightfoot, a typical piece of work by Clint Eastwood. But it's a rare one for
Jeff Bridges who usually stars in high quality films with lots of seriousness. It's hard to believe they're together.
No matter what, the latter oozes a lot of energy, making it a fun film
to watch. As a reward, he was given an Oscar nomination although I don't think it was deserved. What's comical is the
former thought his performance was also Oscar-worthy when he did nothing remarkable, save for the stunt when he
grabbed ahold of the '73 Pontaic Firebird Trans Am which is actually his car, one of the 252 ever made.
George Kennedy's character is too much to bear. He should have been summarily dumped by his co-conspirators because his
erratic behavior precludes him as trustworthy. Yet he's needed to wrap things up logically at the end.
Meanwhile, the plot is minimal, and the bank deposit robbery is implausible and therefore simple to believe. Pitting
both, acting and plot, against each other seems to balance the film in order to make it watchable.
All in all, Thunderbolt and Lightfoot is the kind of picture that goes from one scene to another randomly just
for the hell of it and thus succeeds.
Thunderheart (1992)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/12, 6/21
11/12:
Val Kilmer can be an exemplary actor, but it's not fully shown in Thunderheart.
He's rather straightforward yet can be exciting at times. His partner Graham Greene does a great job of making it interesting.
The story has been done before for the most part, but I'm more annoyed by the ever-laden Native American clichés. "Let's
trade. I am seeing visions. Sweat tepees. A Lakotan speaking his own language. Indian war dances." Not the one to offend,
it seems every time a film involves American Indians, all of the same tired stuff have to be automatically included. That's
why The Last of the Mohicans was refreshing for a change by getting to the action
already.
Playing like an American Indian version of Mississippi Burning, there are so many
incidents in Thunderheart that are outdated for a 90's picture trying to take place during the 70's. I can't help but
feel the reference to what happened in Waco, Texas, although the film was long released before then.
All in all, I wish Thunderheart was less clichéd but more plot-focused.
6/21:
Despite being laden with American Indian clichés, Thunderheart isn't bad for a murder mystery picture.
The only thing I had my mind throughout is that it was a set-up. I think special agent Ray Levoi didn't want to believe this
because it's Walter Crow Horse's word against Frank Coutelle's. Of course, being an FBI man, he had to swim with the current,
but the tribal cop made a compelling case with plenty of evidence. Levoi just wanted to make sure it was airtight enough
before taking action.
The last thirty minutes clears up the mystery, but the confusing plot is hard to shake off. No matter what, Val Kilmer is terrific,
and Graham Greene makes for an interesting guide. Primarily shot on location in Badlands National Park and Pine Ridge
Reservation, South Dakota, the cinematography is top-notch.
All in all, Thunderheart is the kind of movie that needs to be seen at least several times for full appreciation.
The Tie That Binds (1995)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
10/23
10/23:
The Tie That Binds isn't original.
The cast of Daryl Hannah, Keith Carradine, Vincent Spano, and Moira Kelly doesn't grab my attention, but it's unusual
to see Keith Carradine playing a baddie this way. What I don't like is the feel; it's like trying walk across a field in the
mud: slow and plodding.
The six-year-old girl is annoying; she just sits there and expects everything to be easy. Clearly, she's damaged goods,
causing me to question the whole adoption process. Who knows where these kids are coming from? Her mother is
mentally retarded. On the other hand, I don't understand how the father had escaped the police for so long.
All in all, The Tie That Binds doesn't prove to be a favorable start for the first-time director Wesley Strick who's
more of a writer.
Tiger Claws (1991)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/11
6/11:
Weak '6' is more like it for Tiger Claws which is a pretty good B flick for the martial arts genre.
It has decent acting, and the story is acceptable enough. I don't feel anything needed to be fancy or
whatever to make it work, so I'm pleasantly happy about how the film turned out.
Of course, Bolo Yeung is the main star due to his history of playing the bad guy in many, many martial arts
pictures which dates back to his debut in Enter the Dragon, but Jalal Merhi is more of
a winner. Cynthia Rothrock is exceptional as well.
There's no explanation of motive for Bolo's character. Hence, it feels somewhat unfulfilling. At least, the display
of martial arts doesn't involve many shadow punches and kicks, so it's nice for a change. However, the ending is ridiculous
because Tarek and Linda should've maintained their working relationship on the professional level.
All in all, given the low-key expectations and production values, Tiger Claws makes for a passable martial arts picture.
Tigerland (2000)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
11/02, 2/05, 8/23
8/23:
Tigerland is An Officer and a Gentleman minus the romance.
It would be easy to say Colin Farrell made the movie, but let's give credit where it's due: director Joel Schumacher got
the best out of everybody in all aspects. Hence, the performances, the editing, and the cinematography are outstanding.
Erroneously labeled as a war picture, it's rather survival in basic training before being shipped out...nothing more. Colin
Farrell plays a hero by saving the lives of several men who shouldn't be going to the Vietnam War in the first place. He also
tries to get out of the stint at the end but is ultimately trapped. There's a strong chance he has found a way out. By
the way, the book Roland Buzz was trying to read is an anti-war novel called Johnny Got His Gun which was converted into
a movie starring Timothy Bottoms.
All in all, I knew Colin Farrell was going to be a star after seeing Tigerland for the first time.
Tightrope (1984)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
Tightrope isn't entertaining most of the time although it's ably directed by Richard Tuggle.
The biggest issue is the believability factor. Now, don't get me wrong...Clint Eastwood can play a cop as well
as anyone, but it's not the case this time. On the other hand, I often think of his characters as moral, but the abrupt
change here is hard for me to make the transition.
Another major issue is how slow the pace is. It's also tedious with no buildup of suspense that'll provoke terror.
Rather, the feel is bland...bland...so bland that I can sit through Tightrope and still feel exactly the same as before.
All in all, Clint Eastwood may be an icon, but Tightrope is best skipped.
Till (2022)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/23
4/23:
Nobody cares about Emmett Till.
If they did, then the movie wouldn't be made this late. If they did, Till wouldn't have grossed $11.2
million against a budget of $20 million. If they did, Joe Biden wouldn't have signed the Emmett Till Anti-Lynching Act on
March 29, 2022, almost seventy years after the murder occurred. The last part is a travesty because the president is a
confirmed racist who only did it to score political points when lynching isn't a thing nowadays, not for decades anyway.
It doesn't mean I don't care, but I didn't know about the story until recently. This speaks volumes to how
obscure the whole thing was. On the other hand, it's incorrect to say the incident led to the passage of the 1957
Civil Rights Act which would later be improved on; rather, it's the case of Brown v. Board of Education that did.
There are many shocking elements to the crime, and there's one that stands out the most: the mother's decision to show
Emmett's beaten face to the world. I have to say she made the right decision: it's an indication of the ugly racist past
the United States of America can't escape from.
Back to the film, Till is probably 80% accurate, if not less. The Jet magazine cover is fake; in fact, nothing
about the murder appeared on the front; just stupid blurbs such as "Strange Facts Behind the Moore-Marciano Fight" and
"How Many Negroes in College?" with a half naked picture of some black student. When everybody walked by the casket to see
Emmett, he's supposed to be behind a glass window, probably to contain the stench. Nobody gave high-fives back then. The
grandmother wasn't the reason why Emmett was interested in going to Mississippi; his uncle came over and told him stories about there
which got him excited. Mose Wright was actually asked by the prosecuting lawyer to point out one of the kidnappers; hence, it
wasn't random.
I wish Till was made earlier so they could do it right. Instead, the filmmakers decided to fill in a lot of time
focusing on the mother's internal struggle with what happened when they should've let the facts of the case dictate
the flow. Hence, it's been a long movie, wasting valuable time. It's also sparklingly clean and white; had the look
been more ordinary in a 50's way, it would be perfect.
As Mamie Bradley, Danielle Deadwyler gives a performance that ranges between fine and good, but it feels like a ploy
to win an Oscar; hence, the title should've been 130 Minutes of Mother's Grief. What she said during the trial isn't
what the real Mamie Bradley said for the most part. There's no lecture or anything of that kind; she answered the questions
in a matter-of-factly manner although many were irrelevant, immaterial, and heavily centered on the identification of
Emmett's mutilated body. The important testimony she made about how he ought to act with white people only occurred in the
absence of the jury. A male stenographer was used, not a female.
By the way, Emmett Till's biological father is mentioned several times in the film, and he was reported to have died
overseas while in service. The truth is he was a wife-beater, a rapist, and a murderer who was summarily executed in
Italy, but it has nothing to do with Emmett's murder anyway.
Today, the two murderers are deceased, having died so long ago, so who cares about these white trash? They were paid $1,500
each by Look magazine for their confession. The woman responsible for the whole thing, Carolyn Bryant Donham, is still
alive today, but she refuses to talk about what actually happened inside the store which is what nobody knows for sure.
Going out of business just after the murder because of the widespread boycott by blacks, Bryant Grocery & Meat Market is still
standing although in dilapidated state. Money, Mississippi, is barely alive with the last known residence count of less than
100. The same is said for Mound Bayou which has fallen mightily hard. Booker T. Washington once considered the all-black
community as the model of "thrift and self-government." Taborian Hospital is no longer there today.
Because of what happened during the trial, the body of Emmett Till was exhumed in 2005 for reaffirmation
through DNA testing to prove it's been him all along. It's a low point of the entire ordeal, and his mother had to suffer
them all for so long.
All in all, the story of Emmett Till should've been a movie a long time ago for historical reference, but the
fact that it got made in 2022 says a lot of people not caring a farthing about him.
A Time to Kill (1996)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/04, 5/08, 10/23
5/08:
Unlike many Joel Schumacher's pretentious artsy pictures that were loaded with 80's clichés, A Time to Kill is a
serious courtroom picture that may be the best adaptation of a John Grisham novel ever.
A big treat is the number of outstanding performances turned in by the cast. Forget Dave Wooderson of
Dazed and Confused. Matthew McConaughey shows what a real talent he is. The closing
speech for the trial is the greatest of his career. I won't be surprised if he wins an Oscar one day.
I have a strong dislike for Sandra Bullock, but she isn't bad this time around. It helps a lot when she's less of Sandra
Bullock and more of somebody else. Kevin Spacey, Samuel L. Jackson, and Oliver Platt are fun to watch, but it's Patrick
McGoohan as Judge Noose who steals the show because his character is easy to hate.
What I like is how the outside forces are put together to create an explosive case for the media to jump into. It's the primary
reason why 150 minutes went so fast. I found myself laughing when Kurtwood Smith announced himself as "Stump Sisson": a pure
redneck name if there's one. It's even funnier when he's set on fire. Of course, nobody but the KKK cared when his death was
announced.
All in all, A Time to Kill may be guilty of being dramatic at times, but it's a compelling picture about serious issues.
10/23:
What had bothered me about A Time to Kill for the longest time is Jake Brigance's closing argument.
So, I read the book first to determine the origin and whether or not he made such statement because lawyers are prohibited from
appealing to the jury's emotion instead of logic. It's also known as the golden rule argument which
starts out like this: "I want you to place yourself in the victim's position and imagine..." In the book, the tactic was
actually employed by one of the jurors during their deliberations which is fine by me and not illegal.
Then, I was surprised that Kevin Spacey as Rufus Buckley chose to remain silent throughout when he's within his rights
to object incessantly, interrupting the flow of the closing argument, hence ruining Jake Brigance's credibility.
At that point, there was enough grounds for Judge Noose to declare a mistrial. When Brigance mentioned the circumstances
surrounding Dr. Bass' felony conviction, it should've been stricken for "facts not in evidence."
Buckley could've done the same thing when Brigance brought up the rape, but he let the door wide open by mentioning it first
during the opening argument in the book when there's no reason for him to do so because Billy Ray Cobb and Pete Willard
hadn't had their day in court. Therefore, the trial on hand was supposed to be concerned with whether or not Carl Lee Hailey
killed them, and if he's found guilty, then it's murder in the first degree and twice at that.
Anyway, back to the overall story, the book isn't terrible, although flawed and slow-paced, that's well-sketched in terms
of characters, setting, and plot, but I didn't like Jake Brigance who preferred to drink as lot as possible during the trial
when he should've acted professional for the sake of his doomed client. I give props to Matthew McConaughey for making
him tolerable to bear, but I won't go so far as to label his performance Paul Newman-like (The Verdict). His
character was only concerned with the final verdict given he didn't have much to work with in spite of his client's
obvious guilt. The hero stuff he pulled off like punching people and throwing the dynamite stick into the air is bananas.
The rest of everybody else is perfectly cast. However, the biggest mistake is the misapplication of Ellen "Row Ark." Although
I hate Sandra Bullock, she's right for the role, but how her character is set up is all wrong and she even makes her first
appearance too early. Adding insult to my intelligence is she breaking and entering Dr. Rodeheaver's office when her specialty
was research, something she did well in the book which aided the defense's case. On the other hand, I'm disappointed to see
a minimized role for Charles S. Dutton as Sheriff Ozzie Walls because he played an important part in the book. And don't get
me started with the sweaty Ashley Judd who's so awful and annoying that she should've stayed put in Wilmington, North
Carolina, the rest of the time. Ditto for Brenda Fricker who has more screen time than necessary.
I'll say the movie captures approximately 70% of the book which isn't bad. There are slight differences here and there,
but most of them aren't glaring to get worked over although the word "nigger" was freely used by almost everybody (I
suppose that's how it was in the South back then?). Also, it's not emotional enough, especially through Samuel L. Jackson.
What's hard to go past is the inclusion of Kiefer Sutherland whose character played no role in
the book. I can obviously tell the relation to his father Donald by looks, so you've got Donald playing Lucien on one side and
Kiefer as Billy Ray's brother on the other; this style of redneck breeding has to be incredible, isn't it? How about the idiot
kid coming out of the courthouse to announce: "He's innocent"? Yeah, sure...then, it automatically means somebody else shot and
killed the two rednecks. Now, I wonder who that was.
As for the case, how would I have decided? Well, if the story took place during the same time as
In the Heat of the Night,
okay...I can see how this will make sense, and therefore, the title should be A Right to Kill. But it's the
90's and that kind of thing was over by then. So, I can't sympathize although I understand where the father is
coming from. Now, I want you to close your eyes and think back to how the whole thing started. Then, I'm going to change one
tiny variable: what if the rapists were black? Do you care like before? Of course not. In fact, the movie would've never
been made in the first place because the narrative isn't as interesting.
All in all, A Time to Kill may have a great all-star cast and a compelling story, but let's face it: Carl Lee Hailey
wasn't insane because he knew what he was doing and only got off the hook by jury nullification.
Timecop (1994)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/21
8/21:
Timecop is, in a word, confusing.
Remember when the future version of McComb displayed a scar immediately after his present version received it. Then,
how come the future version of Walker sustained no damage after his present version was beaten up by two henchmen?
Meanwhile, Walker can always go back to that day and change it up to save his wife. Then again, McComb can time travel
to when Walker was born and kill him as easily. Just curious: how does he initiate time travel while Walker has the rocket?
No matter what anyone does in the past, it seems to have no effect on the present or future. When Walker has finally set
everything right, he'll have to contend with the fact of not knowing what the heck happened the last ten years.
The film jumps around a lot, making for a confusing train of thought. That's when I knew Quantum Leap did it so much
better: always coherent, logical, and fascinating. Failing to stick with the sci-fi elements, Peter Hyams decides to focus
on the martial arts. As a result, the movie is boring. By the way, gold bullion can't be carbon dated; this method only
applies to dead organisms.
Jean-Claude Van Damme is okay but rather mundane. By the way, who the hell sported a mullet in 2004? They had the hairstyles
switched around because the one Walker had during 1994 was in fashion for 2004. Ron Silver is better, but unfortunately, his character
is underdeveloped most of the time. Fooled by her hair, I thought it was Rae Dawn Chong, but it's been Gloria Reuben all along.
All in all, Back to the Future respected the rules of time travel while
Timecop flunks the test.
Tin Cup (1996)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/05, 7/20
10/05:
Tin Cup is a funny and romantic but weak comedy with a memorable scene.
Despite the talky dialogue, Kevin Costner has the best lines and plays a charming character in Roy McAvoy who exudes the
stupidity of a white male. Yet he makes a beautiful point, "Because that shot was a defining moment. When a defining moment
comes along, you define the moment...or the moment defines you." The result is his dramatic run at the U.S. Open, culminating
in the greatest meltdown that's saved by the greatest shot ever in sports movie history.
Rene Russo is miscast and has no chemistry with Kevin Costner. The pace feels intermittent as the momentum might run strong
for a while and then go down. Therefore, Tin Cup feels like a weak '6', but '5' seems fair for now. Certainly, it's
the best golf film I've seen to date. With the exception of Cheech Marin, maybe Don Johnson, and the real golf people (I've got
no frigging idea who they are and don't care), the supporting cast isn't strong enough to complement Kevin Costner.
All in all, Kevin Costner is the best thing about Tin Cup.
7/20:
Because of Kevin Costner, Tin Cup is a classic golf picture.
When I say that, I mean almost nothing else works. Yes, Cheech Marin is great and I like Don Johnson, but let's be real: it's
Kevin Costner's full-on charm that makes this a winner. The best scene is the "Greatest 12 in Golf History,"
scoring high for the film's replayability value.
So, what's wrong with Tin Cup? That's easy: it's too talky and Rene Russo. Hence, the dialogue has to be pared down; it
just goes on and on, causing the film to stretch for 135 minutes. On the other hand, I don't see any attraction to Rene Russo,
never have and never will. She and Kevin Costner have virtually no chemistry. Ashley Judd would've been a better choice.
All in all, Tin Cup gets a hole-in-one from Kevin Costner, thanks to his brilliant acting performance, but a bogey
from pretty much everything else.
Titanic (1953)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/22
5/22:
Before there was James Cameron's Best Picture winner and before there were Walter Lord's book and the subsequent film
A Night to Remember, there was the 1953 version of Titanic which is the
worst of them all.
It's so dull that I'm surprised this dated melodrama won an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. I suppose the lines are
well-written, but who cares about the bickering couple?!? Just sink the toy ship in the bathtub already. Unbelievably,
it doesn't happen for an hour. By the time the sinking happens, the movie is almost over.
The cast is mostly fine, and it's an all-star at that: Barbara Stanwyck, Clifton Webb, Robert Wagner, Audrey Dalton,
Thelma Ritter, and Richard Basehart. But it's been a melodrama after melodrama after melodrama. In a way, James Cameron may
have been inspired by some of them for the central focus of his film against the backdrop of the Titanic.
I can point out the countless historical inaccuracies, but it'll be a waste of time. Instead, I'm going to touch one
that bothered me a lot. The ship is shown hit by iceberg on the starboard. After that, the hull is severely ripped
underwater on the port. What in the world...? The inference is that there was iceberg on both sides. How did the filmmakers
decide on this? It's ridiculous like the insane ending when everybody calmly got together to sing while the ship was
ready to go under.
All in all, the 1953 version of Titanic belongs on the bottom of the ocean along with the actual ship.
Titanic (1997)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/03, 9/08, 3/22
9/08:
Titanic isn't a huge epic picture in the like of Gone with the Wind,
Lawrence of Arabia, and Ben-Hur, but it's an
epic nevertheless.
Yes, it may be the biggest moneymaker of all time, grossing over two billion dollars worldwide, after taking a deep
plunge in order to make the film. But Gone with the Wind remains the number one ever.
And yes, there are tons of people everywhere who hate Titanic. But honestly, I think it's a great film.
I enjoy the romance aspect. Even more impressive is the ship itself. James Cameron is a wunderkind because of how he's
able to blend the visual effects with cinema so effortlessly well that it all looks as one.
Sure, the acting can be spotty in places, but that's okay; there's a lot of everything else to look at. Except for
What's Eating Gilbert Grape, I remain unconvinced that Leonardo DiCaprio is at
least a decent actor. Kate Winslet gives a stronger performance, especially when she showed audacity by baring herself.
I question the need to expand screen time for some of the secondary characters as they either don't contribute much to the story
overall such as Molly Brown or drop out like Fabrizio. Billy Zane's villainous performance is enjoyable, but he's
one-dimensional and predictable.
By the way, an author named Morgan Robertson wrote a novella called Futility in 1898. The story was about a fictional
British ocean liner Titan that sank while sailing on the Atlantic Ocean during the month of April before it was hit by
iceberg on the starboard side. Moreover, it had a fraction of the necessary number of lifeboats. The dimensions and the
tonnage of both ships were similar as well that were labeled as "unsinkable." Both carried approximately 3,000 people and
traveled almost as fast, using a triple screw (read that as "three propellers"). Now, how about it for clairvoyance?
All in all, Titanic remains the movie to watch and will continue to be so.
3/22:
Which is a bigger tragedy: the sinking of RMS Titanic or the death of Leonardo DiCaprio's character?
The film scores big points in several ways: the facts about the ship and what actually happened, the visual effects,
and the romance tragedy which is nearly on par with Romeo and Juliet. It's amazing the maiden voyage began on April
10, 1912, only to end five days later. The trip covered 484 nautical miles or 557 miles from Southampton, UK, to the
iceberg, so imagine how much work went into the construction of the Titanic.
As for the survival statistics, 29 out of 30 (97%) children of first and second class survived, but 52 out of 79 from the third
class died which comes to 66%. For women, it's 93% (220 out of 237) versus 46% (76 out of 165), respectively. So, don't
believe the bullshit about "women and children first." Class does matter. It would've been more appropriate to say "first
and second class women and children first."
At least, there's a near equality in the survival rates among men: 21% versus 16%. Even in death, the first-class passengers
had the last laugh as they were mostly taken out of sea for embalming services and got buried properly in Nova Scotia and
elsewhere while a great number of third-class passengers were left behind because the ships, ordered to
retrieve bodies, had quickly run out of embalming supplies.
The Titanic had sixteen watertight compartments but could withstand only four breached compartments. On the night of
the sinking, five were overcome which sealed its fate. When the first was flooded, the water rose until it was above the
bulkhead and then spilled over to the second compartment. This went on, going from the second to the third, the third to the
fourth, etc.
The ship was supposed to carry 48 lifeboats, but only 20 were ultimately on board. Of those used that night, many were filled
half-full. Almost two hours after it completely sank, the Carpathia, whose initial location was about 60 miles away
despite the Californian staying put 10 miles nearby while doing absolutely nothing, finally showed up which means nobody
would have survived the freezing water for that long if they were still submerged (28 degrees Fahrenheit which would've
resulted in death within minutes).
The wreck wasn't discovered until 1985, which is roughly two miles below the water surface, because it was 13.2 miles away from
the inaccurate coordinates as given by the Titanic's radio operators on the night of her sinking. Interestingly, there
were three steamships of the Olympic class from the White Star Line, and two of them sank: RMS Titanic and
HMHS Britannic. The third that didn't was RMS Olympic which lasted for 24 years before retiring after 257
successful round trips across the Atlantic Ocean.
One of the main reasons why the disaster happened is that the ship was going too fast. Its hull was riveted, not
welded; hence, the bolts popped out after the hull hit the iceberg, causing the metal sheets to come loose. The other reason is
that the captain failed to pay attention to ice warnings. The region his ship was in turned out to be Iceberg Alley. The band
did play music to the end with all members dying afterwards, yet the final song wasn't "Nearer, My God, to Thee" but
was most likely "Dream of Autumn" ("Songe d'Automne").
Why didn't anyone spot the iceberg right ahead of the ship? It's because there were no binoculars to begin with. Years
later revealed they were stashed in the locker of the crow's nest, but a sailor named David Blair forgot to leave behind
the key after he was reassigned to a different ship at the last minute.
What the boiler room looked like in the film is fiction. It's actually more simple in appearance. Over 600 tons of coal a day
were required to keep the furnaces running, and 176 firemen had to be employed 24/7. At the same time, 100 tons of ash needed
to be expelled onto the ocean each day. It was dangerous work for the firemen, and their suicide rate was high.
Okay, that's enough with the facts, and let's go to the film. I thought Leonardo DiCaprio was nominated for Best
Actor but wasn't. That's a surprise because he made the movie work during the first half; of course, the ship itself took
over during the second. Instead, it went to Kate Winslet, but she's mostly fine. However, it's not what I describe a
strong performance in the face of an epic; no matter what, she's well-cast. Looking too 90's for such a period, DiCaprio is the one
who can stand tall next to the ship. The second acting nomination went to the 86-year-old Gloria Stuart, who did
eventually live to 100, as the narrator, and it's much deserved. Billy Zane is good as well.
Of course, the visual effects are A+, no doubt about it. However, it does look fake at times which is okay by me. James Cameron
manages to get at least 95% of the amazing stuff through the screen, and it still holds up today. He doesn't make the same
mistake as many disaster pictures had committed: too much star power. The cast is low-key for the most part. It's a
credit to him by focusing on the story against the backdrop of the "unsinkable" ship. Everybody at the time thought
Titanic was doomed to fail given the enormous budget of $200 million which was an unheard-of sum.
Back to the original question, which is a bigger tragedy: the sinking of RMS Titanic or the death of Leonardo DiCaprio's
character? Honestly, to me, why the film worked and resonated with the audience, especially the females, is
the love story. Take it away, and Titanic would've been nothing more than a sinking of the famed ship. Everybody knows
what happened and can see it in their minds without having watched the movie. Once James Cameron got a stranglehold on
the Romeo and Juliet angle, Titanic became goldmine, no matter what.
All in all, Titanic deserves a strong rating of '9' for a lot of good reasons, but it's not s '10' due to some weak
performances.
To Be or Not to Be (1942)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
To Be or Not to Be is a strange film.
Admittedly, I got spoiled after seeing the remake first, so I knew what to expect from start to finish. I'll say the script
is well done, but none of it is believable. The acting is decent for the most part. In her final film role before dying in
a plane crash at age 33, Carole Lombard isn't much of a thespian while Jack Benny is merely okay. However, calling them
Polish is ludicrous.
Given the movie was made in 1942 when WWII and Nazism were already underway, the satire is done in bad taste. There's
absolutely no doubt of it to the people who lived in Poland at the time and were pretty much being killed left and right.
At least, To Be or Not to Be rightly failed at the box office. Those in charge of filmmaking just needed to apply common
sense.
All in all, every time the line "So they call me Concentration Camp Ehrhardt!" is uttered, To Be or Not to Be looks
worse because what happened during the Holocaust wasn't funny.
To Be or Not to Be (1983)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/24
2/24:
Mel Brooks is looking better now.
To Be or Not To Be is a fine film that's a remake of the 1942 version by Ernst Lubitch of which I haven't yet
seen. While the first half is slow and weird because of the mix of comedy and WWII, it's the second that comes
alive, getting my attention. I thought Cabaret and Mephisto
had already handled the same theme while being deferential to the looming Holocaust theme, but the direction is different here.
It's not a laugh-out comedy picture, but there are good zany situations that are reflective of Mel Brooks' style. While his
acting is great, I have to say Charles Durning steals the show. As a result, he was Oscar-nominated, the second of his career.
Not many people know this, but Charles Durning served in WWII and was heavily decorated, being one of the first to
land on Omaha Beach during the D-Day invasion of Normandy. Mel Brooks served, too, whose job was to defuse land mines.
Everybody else is good, keeping up with the pace.
At first, I thought it was Mel Brooks playing Professor Siletski, but it turned out to be José Ferrer. Then, after Siletski
was dead, Brooks took over his character. Most of the presented material is what happened to many for real in a
Cabaret/Mephisto way. At the same time, the cinematography
is excellent.
All in all, To Be or Not To Be seems, at first, to be done in bad taste, but it works out well in the end.
To Catch a Thief (1955)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/14, 4/17
1/14:
Chalk up To Catch a Thief among top five Hitchcock pictures along with The 39 Steps,
Vertigo, and Psycho.
Look up the definition of the word "handsome," and you might find a picture of Cary Grant. He would've made a perfect James
Bond because To Catch a Thief feels like it was produced by Albert Broccoli and Harry Saltzman.
Of course, minus the fancy gimmicky moments, it's instead Alfred Hitchcock's picture. His expertise is manifested through
the well-written screenplay, the exotic locales, the perfect chemistry between Cary Grant and Grace Kelly, the wonderful fashion
designs by Edith Head, and the resplendent cinematography of the French Riviera.
All in all, to know what makes a master director is see how everything comes together so well in a film, and that's what
Alfred Hitchcock did for To Catch a Thief.
4/17:
I'm downgrading the rating of To Catch a Thief from '10' to '9'.
It's a great classic film, no doubt. I love the Oscar-winning cinematography of the French Riviera, which is the chief reason
for its high replayability value, and I think it's the best work of Cary Grant's career. In top form, he never looked
this good or had a better character than John Robie aka The Cat who's by far the sexiest character of all Hitchcock films.
The problem is how formulaic the plot is. I've seen this many times already; it's just Alfred Hitchcock flogging a dead horse.
It's not suspenseful enough, and the story is lightweight, too. The other is how poor Grace Kelly's performance is.
When I look past her tanned and blonde looks, she's superficial, showing no talent in acting. Grace Kelly
somewhat throws the film off-balance which explains why I kept relying on Cary Grant to carry the weight the rest of the way.
I've enjoyed everybody else including Jessie Royce Landis, John Williams, and Brigitte Auber, among others. They're
fun and therefore add intrigue to the mystery. But when Grace Kelly appears, she doesn't have it. However, I might be
hard-pressed to think of a better substitute, but perhaps Kim Novak?
One of the most amusing cameos in Alfred Hitchcock's career is when John Robie took a look to his left and the camera slowly
panned over to the director. The film is also famous for an eerie reason: Grace Kelly was killed in an
automobile accident on September 14, 1982, not too far from where her character had a picnic with John Robie.
All in all, To Catch a Thief will always be regarded as an exquisite Hitchcock classic, but it's not a masterpiece
enough.
To Have and Have Not (1944)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
7/09, 7/12, 10/23
7/09:
To Have and Have Not is the famous film that saw Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall going hot and heavy for each other.
Both are at their best, and it's a classic in every way with reminders of Casablanca in
spots. Prior to making the movie, Howard Hawks had a bet going on with Ernest Hemingway to see if he could turn the author's
worst book into a cinema success. Obviously, there's no question of who won.
It's hard to believe Lauren Bacall was nineteen at the time of filming. Unfortunately, she played the same character
over and over throughout her career. Humphrey Bogart is Humphrey Bogart, but there's something different this time:
serious motivation to create something magical with his future wife.
All in all, To Have and Have Not is the one to see for all fans of Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall.
7/12:
Instead of To Have and Have Not, the title should be Can't Have Enough of Each Other.
That much is evident by the way Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall interacted on screen. Naturally enough, he cheated on
his wife with her, and they would marry a year after the film was completed. The most famous line of Lauren Bacall's career
is: "Anybody got a match?" And she would never be as good again. If it wasn't for her, I doubt
To Have and Have Not would've been the classic that it is. Lauren Bacall is the kerosene, and Humphrey Bogart is
the fire. They both ignite.
To Have and Have Not may be a rip-off of Casablanca, but let's face it: it's all about
Bogart and Bacall, and nothing else. It's amusing to see them calling each other "Slim" and "Steve" instead of their character's
real names. Then, it's her being jealous of him when he's in the presence of Madame de Bursac (Dolores Moran).
By the way, Howard Hawks was reported to be jealous of Humphrey Bogart because Lauren Bacall wanted him instead, so he settled
for Dolores Moran (who was supposed to have a larger role in the film) as they had a small fling of their own. At least, the
director didn't let his ego get in the way by deciding to capitalize on the romance between the two stars.
All in all, To Have and Have Not is a timeless classic.
10/23:
Recently, I worked on Best Chemistry list and was deciding for a minute who Humphrey Bogart made better connection with:
Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca or Lauren Bacall in To Have and Have Not.
Well, the choice was easy by going with the latter, and that's why they got married afterwards. Forget the fact that the film is a
Casablanca remake. The way Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall play off each other is
dynamite. There's nothing like it before or since then.
All in all, without Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall, there's no To Have and Have Not.
To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/06
6/06:
To Kill a Mockingbird is a noble film that's unbelievably overrated.
Gregory Peck plays a fine character in Atticus Finch; let's not go crazy beyond it, especially with the hero stuff. Of course,
there's a superb run in the last twenty minutes. The child actors, especially Mary Badham, are excellent if somewhat
annoying. Not uttering a single word, Robert Duvall has a captivating presence as Boo Radley.
All in all, I can readily acknowledge To Kill a Mockingbird is nice, but many people have made too much out of the
book and subsequently the film.
To Live and Die in L.A. (1985)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
10/11, 5/20
10/11:
William Friedkin sure knows how to make exciting movies.
Although I'm not a huge fan of The French Connection,
To Live and Die in L.A. is a more satisfying cinematic experience for me. It's almost like a Michael Mann
picture as in Miami Vice meets the west coast. There are many compelling elements, and the biggest of them
all is William Petersen's supercharged performance. Of course, Michael Mann saw so much talent that he had to have
him for Manhunter.
Then, there's the young Willem Dafoe in a brilliant, chilling role as Eric Masters. He'll go on to star in the next
film called Platoon and be Oscar-nominated. Because of him and William Petersen,
To Live and Die in L.A. is one of the best policiers made. Remember they, and others such as Steve
James, John Turturro, and Darlanne Fluegel, weren't yet established stars which is amazing enough.
When Richard Chance's head was blown away, it caught me off guard. I've got to say that I feel bad about him.
Honestly, the movie should've ended right there to secure a rating of '10' from me. Who cares about the rest of
the way?
All in all, To Live and Die in L.A. is among William Friedkin's best films.
5/20:
I wish William Petersen did more films like To Live and Die in L.A. and
Manhunter, but for some reason, he just stopped and switched genres.
It's his first film in a leading role, and he's brilliant. So is Willem Dafoe as Eric Masters. These two make for a
supercharged pair of good/bad guys. Both are selfish and will use people to achieve their objectives, legal or not.
William Friedkin's direction plays a big role in pace and action as he focus on the buildup of the characters.
The best and most elaborate scene is the car chase that stretches out for miles. That's why
To Live and Die in L.A. is, in a way, a remake of
The French Connection.
Among the most shocking moments maybe in cinema history is when Richard Chance was shot in the head. Given how he
lived his life constantly on the edge and took on huge risks, it shouldn't be a surprise. Yet what happened is a
daring but calculated risk by William Friedkin. However, the movie should've ended right there because who cares
about Chance's partner afterwards?
The supporting players are a bonus: John Turturro, Dean Stockwell, Steve James, and Darlanne Fluegel. During the
opening credits which showed how counterfeit money was printed, it's the real thing, and some of the dollar bills
were passed around by the cast and crew for shopping afterwards.
All in all, William Friedkin is one of the best directors ever.
To Sir, with Love (1967)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/16
5/16:
One of Sidney Poitier's earliest roles was playing a rebellious student in Blackboard Jungle,
a fine film with Glenn Ford that's about a newbie teacher working at an urban school.
Twelve years later, Sidney makes a full circle by appearing in To Sir, with Love, but this time, he's in Glenn Ford's
shoes. Everything that had been done in the former is repeated in the latter. Hence, there's nothing new to discover. The
same stuff can also be seen in Up Down the Staircase which is a much superior
film with Sandy Dennis.
As a former teacher myself, I've seen it all and have left the profession for good. The work is impossible. Therefore, I refuse
to buy the Hollywood bullshit ending. If there's a better job for Sidney Poitier's character, especially
in engineering, he should take it and never look back. Anything that requires high level of cognition is a
hundred times better than being sucked dry from dealing with soulless numbskulls who can't or won't improve themselves
because they think the world must revolve around them and their stupid, silly needs.
Sidney Poitier is okay here, but a lot of his actions are, to be frank, inappropriate and therefore
grounds for outright dismissal. Professionally speaking, there are more effective solutions to defuse each
situation he was faced with, but I'll let him off the hook because he hasn't the proper training for it.
By the way, here's a trivia from IMDb: "The film did so unexpectedly well in America that Columbia Pictures did market research
to find out why so many people had gone to it. Their answer: Sidney Poitier." Of course, it's my primary reason, too, for
picking up the movie. Why is it so hard for these white morons to understand Sidney Poitier was an exceptional actor?
All in all, you're better off watching Blackboard Jungle and
Up Down the Staircase as To Sir, with Love is the same old, same old.
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything!
Julie Newmar (1995)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/24
7/24:
My goodness...where to start?
I had never heard of the woman after seeing her name in the title To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar.
It turns out she was an actress who once played Catwoman for the TV show Batman. Well, that's weird because
there's nothing else in the biography to indicate a transvestite nature in her.
Then, there are Patrick Swayze and Wesley Snipes in a drag. It just can't be unseen, making for a very
uncomfortable movie experience that's akin to a colonoscopy. Hence, it's safe to say that their A-list careers began
to end as a result. On the other hand, the subject matter is right up John Leguizamo's alley because he has always been
an idiot who likes to keep things freaky.
The script sucks on so many levels that it seems to have been done on the fly at the time with weird references
such as the Chappaquiddick incident and various movie stars plus Rosa Parks. Harder to swallow is the village that's
full of morons who've failed to see these three lead characters as what they really are until it's finally acknowledged
at the end when I can tell from the get-go. Additionally, there's no story compared to superior films such as
Tootsie and Mrs. Doubtfire given the same theme.
By the way, how is it that Chi Chi won the national contest when he wasn't a qualifier to begin with? Then again, what's
the benefit of bringing her along on the trip? Don't the two local drag queen winners realize it costs much more by
doing this way because of gas and accommodations? They had free flight tickets to begin with...gee whiz.
All in all, To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar is a powerful-smelling piss stain on Patrick Swayze's
and Wesley Snipes' oeuvres.
Tobor the Great (1954)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/08
11/08:
Of course, it has to be Tobor the Great; what other word can be spelled "robot" backwards?
Anyway, it's a super ordinary movie in every way possible although I like the angle about "ethical non-harming of humans
during space flight." Many B films of the sci-fi genre are often ridiculed for showing off a legion of stupidities, but
this one doesn't commit many.
The annoying boy most definitely has to G...O. Surely, Mozart was a genius by the age of five, but this one
is no shakes. Big deal that he can control a robot without a manual; most kids are capable of it. By the way, the movie poster
is odd as it shows Tobor carrying a large-breasted, blond-haired woman when in
fact it was a kid.
All in all, released during the Golden Age of sci-fi cinema, Tobor the Great is a dinosaur today.
Tom Horn (1980)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/06
3/06:
An underrated Western, Tom Horn is one of the last pictures starring Steve McQueen.
There's no question he looked old for his age. Steve McQueen would die from cancer during the same year. Although it has an
excellent story with awesome action scenes during the first half, things slow down greatly in the next half by taking
away what the lead character knew the best.
All in all, Steve McQueen was a natural fit for Western pictures, and Tom Horn is no exception.
Tombstone (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/20
6/20:
I often read that Tombstone, which was supported by rave reviews of Val Kilmer's performance, was one of the two
best Western movies made during the 90's with the other being Unforgiven, and after
finally viewing it, I can see why.
Sadly, the history of Wyatt Earp is mostly inaccurate as repeated in many mediums due to the inspiration
of the 1901 novel The Virginian. It marked the beginning of the Western craze that would dominate television and
movies during the 50's and 60's and with a good reason: they brought in the highest ratings ever. Therefore, it showed
the Old West that wasn't, hence the public having been spoon-fed lies and myths.
Despite the impossible-to-separate mix of fact and fiction, nobody knows for sure what happened in either Dodge City,
Kansas, or Tombstone, Arizona. Wyatt Earp and his brothers didn't fight the so-called Cowboys over honor; it was politics.
They were also thieves and murderers who were more interested in making money illegally, running whorehouses, and patronizing
prostitutes than anything else. The famous gunfight didn't happen at the O.K. Corral but six lots away, and the brothers got
arrested, were held for murder, and had to appear in court many times until they secured acquittal.
Back to Tombstone, it's quite good with an Arizonian ambience and a strong cast showing off an interesting collection
of mustaches which were all real: Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer, Powers Boothe, Michael Biehn (who previously did the same for
The Abyss), Sam Elliot (of course...), Bill Paxton, Stephen Lang, Billy Bob Thornton, Michael
Rooker, Billy Zane, Jason Priestley, Thomas Haden Church, and Charlton Heston.
The unseen Robert Mitchum provides the narration after he was slated to appear but fell off a horse and hurt his back. Although
uncredited, Kurt Russell directed a majority of the film with George P. Cosmatos' help due to the firing of Kevin Jarre
who got overwhelmed by the task.
Unfortunately snubbed for an Oscar nomination, Val Kilmer takes the top acting honors by giving one of the greatest
performances of his career and has the best lines of any character. There are rich scenes that make Tombstone a
highly regarded Western. However, it's not a focused picture as there's a lot of filler that smacks of lazy
filmmaking. The horseback riding scene with Kurt Russell and Dana Delany is ridiculous and should therefore be cut
out; the same can be said for the unnecessary romantic subplot between their characters, too.
All in all, despite the negatives, Tombstone has my strongest recommendation, thanks to Val Kilmer.
Tommy Boy (1995)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/14
12/14:
Tommy Boy is a rip-off of Planes, Trains and Automobiles.
The latter did it so well with sophistication, subtlety, and cleverness whereas the former is loud, crude, and
stupid. Although Tommy Boy has several laugh-aloud parts, it's no better than either
Black Sheep or Beverly Hills Ninja.
Chris Farley has never been a funny guy because of his pent-up rage before exploding and going
overboard in the physical department. On the other hand, David Spade makes for a despicable, arrogant little prick with zero
appeal. At least, it's funny to see his hair come off. I can't believe Brian Dennehy got cast because he's too good
of an actor to be caught dead in such trash.
Bo Derek has aged a lot, so I guess it must be the pot. On the other hand, I can't make out what's exactly wrong with Rob Lowe's
face; he seems to wear dark makeup of some sort. Apparently, the multiple plastic surgeries have finally done him in.
All in all, I wanted to laugh during Tommy Boy, but it's not a funny movie.
The Tommyknockers (1993)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
I didn't think of it at the time, but I have to say The Tommyknockers is racist.
Jimmy Smits, a Puerto Rican, sacrifices himself to save a town of white people. On top of it, he plays an
alcoholic who's stupid and gives in so easily. By the way, who reads poems these days? I could've told him
to seek another profession, and that way, he would perhaps never succumb to drinking again.
A big flaw of The Tommyknockers, which was shot on location not in Maine but in New Zealand, is it goes in circles.
There's no reason to stretch out the show for three hours; not much happens, feeling like twelve TV epsiodes stuffed into
one. All I saw is directorial ineptitude in terms of juggling the subplots. Bobbi and Gard have the most attention while
Ruth has the least.
The final thirty minutes is what finally did it in with the worst logic ever. How did Gard know it's what he had
to do: putting the headset on and letting it drill through his frontal lobes? Is there a manual for this sort of thing?
Remember when everybody was working on the burial site? Seeing many shovels at work, I'm surprised that barely any progress
was made. All of a sudden, Bobbi uncovers a very simple mound which reveals a way inside the spaceship. Amazing, is it?
So, are the idiots telling me the aliens, after they were buried for like 10,000 years, found things to do inside the
spaceship for that long? Yeah, okay. Well, then...their fortitude must be legendary. At the end, one kid, who disappeared
during a pointless magic trick, makes out of the ordeal okay when he should've stayed dead while the survivors, especially
Bobbi, are supposed to lose some of their teeth permanently. Hey, what's the deal with the dolls, and what happened to
them afterwards?
In the meantime, the acting is okay. I credit Jimmy Smits for getting me through the show. Some of the writing is certainly
crap. In fact, if Edward D. Wood, Jr., was a more competent filmmaker, The Tommyknockers would've been the result.
By the way, it's incredible that ABC was okay with letting a former porn actress (Traci Lords) appear in this made-for-TV
film and then allowing her to do what she did the best at. Talk about bad judgment.
All in all, The Tommyknockers is
Invasion of the Body Snatchers in Stephen King disguise.
Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/14
9/14:
Tomorrow Never Dies is a catchy title, but what it should've been is Mindless Action Never Dies.
GoldenEye was the type of action-adventure picture that stuck with the basics: tell a good
story, show some nice action, and come up with good dialogue. But Mindless Action Never Dies is the antithesis of this
tried-and-true formula.
From start to finish, it's been a long train of do-or-die situations that are simply impossible, only to rely on luck
to survive them all. Thousands of bullets fly everywhere, yet not single one hits James Bond.
Does he ever have the time to take a break and get something to eat, drink, or relieve himself? James Bond continues to look
dashing and handsome while he's free of dirt and bruises. Amazing...why, he must be a robot.
Meanwhile, James Bond has wooed and bedded thousands of women, so what does Paris' death matter? She's replaceable because
he evidently forgot about her minutes afterwards. One trademark of Bond films is the archvillain tends to be a
memorable, worthy opponent for James, but Jonathan Pryce as Elliot Carver is the equivalent of somebody walking
into a crowded room but nobody pays attention to him.
Throughout are numerous factual errors and leaps in logic. When asked how fast a person could go airborne while parachuting,
they said 200 mph. No, wrong...the terminal velocity of a human body is roughly 120 mph. Notice how the helicopter
tilts down perfectly at a certain angle? Impossible. When the men tried to break into a car by using
various heavy tools, why not use a tiny piece of porcelain to smash the windows? Later, somebody shot at the car and
the bullets went through the windows, but was it supposed to be bulletproof?
Here's a cool trivia about the blond-haired, tanned German when he won the role: "When Götz Otto was called in
for casting, he was given twenty seconds to introduce himself. Saying, 'I am big, I am bad, and I am German,' he did it in five."
All in all, Mindless Action Never Dies should've adhered to the adage: "Less is more."
Tonight We Raid Calais (1943)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
The war didn't stop Hollywood from making movies, and among them was Tonight We Raid Calais.
Made in 1943, it seems accurate for the time, especially when the Germans machine-gunned traitors lined up
against the wall. Unfortunately, the downfall is Annabelle. Such phony acting. I hate that stupid bitch
character of hers, wishing she was killed along with the rest. She sure moved on quickly after selling
out her parents which resulted in their quick death.
In the British mold of John Garfield, John Sutton is okay but doesn't stand out, hence the end of his
potential as a leading man. Oh, yeah...remember in the beginning his character was recruited for his
ability to speak French fluently. Well, well, well...did he ever put that to practice once he landed in
Calais? And nobody put two and two together that the new face without registration papers could be
connected to the English's landing on the beach?
At least, Lee J. Cobb gets the chance to steal some of the show, and it's apparent that he's the only one
of the cast with enough serious acting ability to be a star in the long run. Oddly, he was born in 1911
while Annabelle, who played his daughter, was born in 1907.
One part I like the best of the film is when the English soldier came over Jacques Grandet's home and they
spoke in code in front of the unsuspecting Germans. That's pretty cool. But a similar thing happened that's
so stupid and unbelievable is when Odette met her uncle and they revealed the plans within earshot of everybody
at the café.
All in all, showing enough action, Tonight We Raid Calais is an okay WWII picture to pass the time.
Tony Rome (1967)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
The murder mystery genre fits Frank Sinatra like a glove.
Hence, Tony Rome is a fantastic neo-noir picture with an excellent script. Wherever the titular character goes,
people wind up dead. For a while, the mystery is easy to follow but becomes convoluted in the final ten minutes. I had it
all figured out but didn't know the "why" part. One thing leads to another, and it's a fine goose chase.
There are plenty of good performances. Playing a strong character, Frank Sinatra is at his best and looks great for somebody
in his fifties while Jill St. John turns in a decent acting job by playing as how she was in real life. There are too many of
others to list such as Gena Rowlands, Simon Oakland, Richard Conte, and Sue Lyon.
Joseph F. Biroc's photography of Miami, when it was a simple city once upon a time, and the Keys is a huge bonus. The best shot
of the whole film is when Jill St. John went out on the balcony to expose the landscape of the city along with the beach.
Then, there are the cars, the boats, the clothes, the clubs, and the hotels, making for a true time capsule.
All in all, Tony Rome is a can't miss if you're a fan of Frank Sinatra or neo-noir films that are along the
lines of Farewell, My Lovely and Chinatown.
Too Late the Hero (1970)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
Too Late the Hero is an impressive war picture with heavy British flavor.
Parts of it reminds me of The Steel Helmet,
The Dirty Dozen, and Ulzana's Raid.
Of course, the last two was directed by Robert Aldrich. The ending is dramatic; I thought it would be Lawson
surviving it after all, but nope...what a shocker.
The biggest trouble is it's rough around the edges. Some of the script doesn't make sense (maybe it's the
Cockney language) which is to say I'll have to see the film again later. I don't understand how the soldiers
can still keep going without food or drink. There are a lot of military blunders as well like sleeping out
in the open and making too much noise.
Instead, I've focused on the psychological aspect of warfare that's often heightened by Ken Takakura on the
loudspeaker. That's been the strongest feature all the way through. How the men made their individual decisions is
what makes the film compelling whether they're selfish, weak, stupid, reluctant, or cynical. Ronald Fraser has
done the best job of showing his feelings while the winner is Michael Caine who steals every scene with a
bunch of witty lines.
Here's an amusing piece of trivia: Cliff Robertson was nominated for an Academy Award for his performance in
Charly, but Robert
Aldrich refused to let him leave the Philippines for the ceremony due to possible cost overruns. While
stuck there, they announced his name as the winner, and the crew presented him with a wooden statuette.
After the filming completed, the cast flew back to Los Angeles, and upon landing, Gregory Peck was on
hand with the real statuette. When Cliff Robertson saw it, he threw the wooden one over his
shoulder which hit Michael Caine squarely in the forehead, causing it to bleed profusely.
All in all, unfairly criticized back in the day, Too Late the Hero has enough to stand out as a worthwhile
jungle war picture.
Too Young to Die? (1990)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/13
5/13:
Former couple Brad Pitt and Juliette Lewis team together for the first of two films, Too Young to Die?, with
the other being Kalifornia.
Juliette Lewis looks amateurish when she throws a temper tantrum. If I was supposed to be sympathetic with her character's
problems, it didn't work. At the end, the director did the same for the teenagers on death row, but to me, they are where they belong.
Here lies the dilemma: do you want to be with Brad Pitt in spite of him supplying you drugs including heroin
and ecstacy? Come on, it's Brad Pitt who was twice voted the Sexiest Man Alive.
By the way, the film is based on the story of Attina Cannaday and David Gray. Attina's death penalty was reversed as her
sentence got commuted to life. In 2008, she got paroled. Gray remains in prison for life. As for the facts of the case, the
story is fake. Plus, there's no such thing as gas chamber for capital punishment in Oklahoma.
All in all, Too Young to Die? plays out like Lifetime Movie of the Week, but it's been enjoyable.
The Toolbox Murders (1978)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/17
1/17:
I saw Toolbox Murders in 2007 but didn't see the original until now which shows you
how much I think of it, giving both the same rating: '2'.
At first, The Toolbox Murders was shaping up to be a run-of-the-mill slasher film. Then, at the
thirty-fifth minute mark, it changed direction, allowing the momentum to go out of the window, and became a boring
psychological dragfest with some of the lamest dialogue ever. The characters are stupid and helpless. They just stand
there and let themselves be killed. Come on, fight back. Do something, fucking idiots.
The police allowing numerous residents to take a peek at the crime scene would never happen. Later, the detective divulged
significant information about the two boys. Yeah, sure. He tried to gather anything useful from Laurie's
mother, but she had been unhelpful the entire time. So...she didn't care about what happened?
By the way, look at the size of the female's breasts on the movie poster. Now, file that under False Marketing 101.
The same can be said for the film claiming to be based on a true story which is total bullshit.
All in all, The Toolbox Murders died early because of an inept director.
Toolbox Murders (2004)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
10/07
10/07:
Wherefore art thou, Tobe Hooper?
I ask because this is the guy who directed The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
Like Michael Cimino, he has sucked since then. Toolbox Murders is a by-the-numbers teen slasher flick. To make
matters worse, I'm seeing nothing new. Even worse, there's no explanation in terms of what's going on: just a bunch of
weird hieroglyphics all over the place and a weasel who's suddenly an expert on the Lusman Building.
Is it me, or does everybody look anorexic? Given the building is big, I see only five residents living there? Obviously,
there's zero intelligence behind the film. Take the female who got killed by a power saw, nobody heard it? And the walls
are cardboard thin?
Okay, forget the noise for now...how about the smell of cadavers all over the building? It has to be
so powerfully strong that a cop should notice it the first minute he steps into there. Okay then, forget the
smell...how about an investigation? When a person is reported missing, it's a happenstance. But when there are a bunch
of them missing and they're from the same building, the police will want to check it out thoroughly.
All in all, Tobe Hooper is what he is: a fucking idiot.
Tootsie (1982)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
8/04, 3/06
3/06:
Tootsie is nice if flat.
It has solid performances, but the storyline is merely okay. The only one to earn an Oscar, Jessica Lange
works on both sides of the fence with friends and co-workers.
Dustin Hoffman is excellent by playing a female character, calling it a significant challenge of his acting career. I don't
want to fail to mention the superb job by Charles Durning.
All in all, Tootsie is a performance-driven picture.
Top Gun (1986)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
3/04, 1/08, 7/19, 6/22
1/08:
Top Gun is one of those films many people don't either understand or appreciate, but it's actually damn good.
Tom Cruise is in his full-blown movie star mode, never being more blockbuster material than he was as Maverick
with the best-looking bomber jacket of all time. What an outstanding cast: Kelly McGillis, Anthony Edwards,
Meg Ryan, Val Vilmer, James Tolkan, Tom Skerritt, Michael Ironside, and Rick Rossovich.
The editing when it comes to the dogfighting scenes is the best I've seen in any film. There are many great movie moments such
as Tom Cruise on his bike while an F-14 Tomcat is taking off, when he arrives at the female instructor's house, the
volleyball match with Rossovich flexing his muscles, the piano scene at Kansas City Barbeque, and an F-14 Tomcat buzzing
the tower.
All in all, Top Gun makes joining the U.S. Navy to be a fighter pilot a very cool thing to do.
7/19:
The number one film of 1986 that's a big favorite of the military for lots of good reasons, Top Gun
is still underappreciated, making a strong case of why being a fighter pilot is the most awesome job in the world.
I like a lot of things about it: Tom Cruise's performance, the dogfighting scenes, the movie moments, and the chemistry.
Everybody looks either cool or hot. The story is excellent as it thrives on adrenaline. The bar scene with Anthony Edwards
playing on the piano was shot on location at Kansas City Barbeque in San Diego. I visited there once, and it had all the
memorabilia including the musical instrument. A year later, the restaurant burned down and was rebuilt, but it's not the
same anymore.
Today, the real Topgun school levies a five-dollar fine on anyone who quotes the movie. It relocated in 1996 from Naval
Air Station Miramar in San Diego to Naval Air Station Fallon which is near Fallon, Nevada. When the movie was nationally
released in 1986, the Navy capitalized on its success by setting up stations at theatres to recruit the exiting moviegoers.
According to IMDb, Jerry Bruckheimer, on how its biggest star signed up for Top Gun, said:
"So they (the Navy) take Tom up there, and they do five Gs. They do barrel rolls, they do everything. He's heaving in the
plane. He gets on the tarmac, runs to a pay phone...and he said, 'I'm in. I'm doing the movie. I love it. This is great.'"
All in all, I will not be surprised if I asked somebody in the Navy his favorite movie and got a quick response: Top Gun.
6/22: Top Gun is a perfect military picture.
It has a lot of classic movie moments, great editing, and well-placed songs against the backdrop of gorgeous cinematography.
The cast is outstanding. Tom Cruise was 23 years old when he took on the role of Lieutenant Pete "Maverick" Mitchell
and became an instant superstar afterwards.
Honestly, I have to say Val Kilmer wasn't good, but he'll be a better actor going forward. The other negative is the
weird air battle at the end. Which country are the MiGs from, and is that a declaration of war against the United States?
By the way, when "R.I.O." is mentioned, it means "Radar Intercept Officer."
All in all, emblematic of the 80's cinema, Top Gun will always stand the test of time.
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
2/24
2/24:
I had zero interest in Top Gun: Maverick, but somebody told me recently to check it out.
What I saw is a complete remake of the original. Many scenes are cringeworthy, especially the homoerotic scene of a football
game that's substituted for the volleyball match with two guys bumping their naked chests against each other while the shining
golden sun is perfectly in position and never goes down. What a beautiful moment...should I cry right now?
Clearly, everybody tries too hard. Goose's son's call sign is *drum roll* Rooster. Give me a minute here, so I
can laugh. At least, the famous words hadn't been uttered: "I feel the need...the need for speed!" Then, we have the mother of
them all: Tom Cruise. Excuse me, how old is he now? I looked it up, and it turns out he's 61. That's why I want to tell him:
you're embarrassing yourself.
Tom Cruise isn't what I would describe "real" anymore. He's plastic. Everything about him has to be perfect. His face
is so old-looking that it resembles a dried prune. Look at his hair. There isn't a single strand of gray hair on it. Is the
film telling me Pete "Maverick" Mitchell spends a lot of money on himself including his teeth?
No, I didn't want to see Val Kilmer. Only able to type simple sentences, he looks ridiculous playing an admiral on duty who's
about to die. The cast sucks. It's a bunch of nobodies save for Ed Harris. Jennifer Connelly is out of place and
therefore doesn't belong in Top Gun anything. What the heck happened to Kelly McGillis' character?
The actress admitted to being too old and fat to come back. Okay, fair enough. Forget Meg Ryan; she has the face of Joker.
When the mission was being explained, Star Wars immediately came to my mind. Is that how they
ripped it off: go through the canyon and then bomb away into a small hole? It doesn't make sense to me anyway. Maverick is obsessed
with making sure that nobody dies. Yeah, so why not get a drone to do the work instead? Actually, given the battleship fired missiles on the
runway, how about doing the same thing to the target objective instead of sending the planes? By the way, what country are they
attacking? It has to be either China or Russia. Afterwards, the United States can expect an immediate war from them in a
unified effort.
I previously said in my review of Top Gun that the training school had been "relocated in 1996
from Naval Air Station Miramar in San Diego to Naval Air Station Fallon which is near Fallon, Nevada." Imagine my surprise that they're
back there again. Yeah, Maverick is allowed to ride his motorcycle through the checkpoint entrance so quickly without having to stop. Some
military security. Damn, the bartender has the same exact house by the beach in San Diego from the original. This means she must
be a multi-millionaire, yes?
All in all, Top Gun: Maverick is a certified cash cow by selling nostalgia and picture perfect imagery on top of the military
masturbation and jingoism.
Top Secret! (1984)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
Top Secret! marks the screen debut of Val Kilmer.
It's an okay comedy picture, having rarely made me laugh, that's actually better than what Mel Brooks used
to put out during the 80's and the 90's. Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, and Jerry Zucker are more interested
in going from gag to gag without putting much of thought to the story. The worst part is using animals
for sex jokes which is something I don't ever want to see.
Plenty of movie moments are recreated in a spoof way such as The Great Escape,
The Blue Lagoon, Das Boot,
and The Wizard of Oz. Even Jeremy Kemp sports
the medal from The Blue Max instead of the customary Iron Cross.
Mice on the street between buildings? That's taken from Superman.
It's true about the Ford Pinto blowing up on impact which is due to the placement of the gas tank in
the rear. How about these East German females with muscles and the screaming girls as seen in The Ed Sullivan Show
when it had Elvis Presley and The Beatles on? When Val Kilmer is trying to kill himself while singing, he mimics
James Brown during the performance of "Please Please Please."
If anything, I'm surprised to see Omar Sharif taking part in this. He's not bad really. Val Kilmer does
the singing himself, and it'll play an important role down in the road by taking on the role of Jim Morrison in
The Doors. As for his acting ability, he's very much two-dimensional compared
to Leslie Nielsen of The Naked Gun trilogy, causing the film to be flat
most of the time.
Oh yeah, the German words uttered throughout the film? A great deal of them are made-up despite how authentic
they sound. At one point, Val Kilmer was listening to the self-learning tape, and it mentioned "blitzen" for
"pen." That confused me because it actually means "lightning" as in "blitzkrieg" or simply "blitz." Something
that prevents an unfluent viewer from getting the film 100% is when the characters use German
they're saying something funny.
All in all, I've never been a fan of Airplane!, and Top Secret!,
although better, is just more of the same.
Topaz (1969)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/06, 9/23
3/06:
Topaz didn't have to run for 143 minutes.
Really, that's unnecessary. What a dull sitting the film makes for. It's clear Alfred Hitchcock had lost it during the 60's
although he would make a strong comeback the following decade with Frenzy and
Family Plot.
There's less wooden acting this time around as compared to Torn Curtain; the story is
fair. John Vernon, who's usually a poor actor, does well. I like Philippe Noiret the most.
All in all, despite the direction by Alfred Hitchcock, you're better off not knowing that Topaz exists.
9/23:
What's impossible to look past in Topaz is the lack of big-name stars.
It's only a bunch of decent thespians pretending to be of a specific nationality. Take Cuba, John Vernon had Armenian,
German, and Polish bloodlines while Karin Dor hailed from Germany. For France, Frederick Stafford was actually a Czech.
Playing a Russian defector, Per-Axel Arosenius was 100% Swedish.
The next problem is the unbelievable running length. I mean, is this necessary, Mr. Hitchcock? It's a whopping 143 minutes
for no reason, his longest movie ever. If it had stars, then maybe okay which is the reason why
Torn Curtain was
tolerable, but he did the same story to death a thousand of times before. Try something new for a change, please.
The ending sucks...it's so anticlimactic.
Equally hard to stomach is the presence of Dany Robin as Nicole Devereaux. Just shut the hell up, and stay out of the way.
She's an excuse to show off Hitchcock's fetish for blond-haired actresses and Edith Head's gaudy outfits.
To Dany Robin's credit, she retired from acting immediately afterwards. By the way, the director makes his cameo about
thirty-four minutes into the show when he's being wheeled at the airport; it's a long time to wait for him to appear.
On the positive side, Philippe Noiret steals the show as Henri Jarré in the tradition of Peter Ustinov. There's a good moment
when John Vernon's character killed the female traitor and showed off his steely blue eyes. Then, Karin Dor dropped down with
her purple dress spreading out like a pool of blood. The Harlem sequence is also well-done.
All in all, boring as hell, Topaz is too long.
Topkapi (1964)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
8/13
8/13:
Dumbkapi is a terrific bore that took me a week to complete.
Peter Ustinov was a great actor, but he didn't deserve the Oscar win. Maximilian Schell is sneering in an annoying way, and
Melina Mercouri is no looker. As a matter of fact, she's far from that, resembling more of a transvestite.
Some of the scenes are stupid. The whole surveillance operation at the (homoerotic?) wrestling show is lame-brained.
So is the idea of a bird inside the museum to trigger the alarm. I hardly see how this is evidence
enough that a heist had taken place.
All in all, Dumbkapi lacks pace and intelligence and shouldn't have been billed as a comedy.
Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
3/09, 5/11
3/09:
One critic described Tora! Tora! Tora! as "Terrible! Terrible! Terrible!"
I didn't think the movie was. Yeah, the first half is boring because everything is told in a matter-of-factly way.
After the intermission, things start to pick up by showcasing the true meat I had long been waiting for.
The special effects, which won the Academy Award, aren't bad and still hold up well. Moreover, they're more lucid and clear
than the crap I've been seeing nowadays. When I say this, it's so remarkable that I can sit back and enjoy the
spectacle without developing a splitting headache.
However, the attack on Pearl Harbor as shown doesn't look comprehensive as it should be. At the same time, the
cast is bland, and there isn't a particular standout. It's probably the biggest reason why Tora! Tora! Tora! works
because it's not about the stars but what happened on the day of infamy.
It's great to see the characters be introduced by captions, so I can know who they are which is a rarity when it comes to
war pictures featuring tons of people. For a long time, I never knew what the word "tora" meant. It stands for "tiger" but
is really a short radio codeword for "lighting attack." Yeah, these guys in Pearl Harbor never knew what hit them.
The famous line that's uttered by Admiral Yamamoto: "I fear all we have done is to awaken the sleeping giant and fill him
with a terrible resolve"? Never happened, but it's still cool. As for the direction, it's done through two sides: Japanese
and American. Yet there's a distinct difference in the energy level between them, hence the double directors. The aerial
scenes with the Japanese fighters are stunning while the display of the American ships is neat.
All in all, Tora! Tora! Tora! paints an accurate picture of what happened on December 7, 1941.
5/11:
The special effects of Tora! Tora! Tora! are still outstanding.
The low-key cast is what makes the film work. Now, I don't have to be distracted by big stars making their silly
one-minute cameos that add nothing of value to the grand scheme of things. Rather, it's about allowing
the story to evolve in a step-by-step manner to show what happened in Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. It's a great piece
of cinema, and of course, the special effects is the main show, especially during the last half hour.
All in all, Tora! Tora! Tora! is a great war picture that deserves to be seen and admired for its simplicity by getting
down to the basics.
Torn Curtain (1966)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/06, 8/23
3/06:
Torn Curtain is a god-awful Hitchcock movie.
A spy thriller starring Paul Newman and........Julie Andrews?!? What a bunch of wooden acting from these two.
"It tears you apart with suspense!"? The movie is so dull that my used-up butter knife feels sharper in comparison.
All in all, Torn Curtain is 128 minutes of nothing.
8/23:
Raising my rating from '2' to '5', Torn Curtain is still a bad movie, one of the three during the 60's to signal
the end of Alfred Hitchcock's directorial greatness.
The trouble is the recycled gimmicks from previous pictures: the farm field from
North by Northwest, the killing of
Gromek and Paul Newman falling down the steps from Psycho, and the what-to-do moment at the
theater from The 39 Steps. Yet they're technically brilliant. Another mistake is the
excessive usage of rear projection effect. It cheapens the movie quality. Hitchcock couldn't shoot anything outside for real?
That's hard to believe. I hate it when Edith Head ruined one moment when Julie Andrews came out looking fashionable on a bicycle.
She pulled the same shit four years earlier in The Counterfeit Traitor.
There's nothing wrong with Paul Newman and Julie Andrews although I admit they're oddly cast for a Hitchcock picture, evincing
little chemistry. In fact, they were insisted upon by studio executive Lew Wasserman because of their star power to bring
in the money. Some said the script was the problem and it's missing humor. That's not it. Rather, it's the final forty
minutes which ruined the movie, starting with the bus scene and the querulous blond-haired woman that ends with the worthless
appearance of the Polish woman begging to be "sponsored."
I considered giving the film a '7', but afterwards, I couldn't believe how damn long it was: two hours and eight
minutes. It's no wonder why cinema had passed Alfred Hitchcock by who kept repeating his tired formula to death. I thought of
how much better The Spy Who Came in from the Cold was with Richard Burton
by keeping it raw and real.
On the positive side, I like the location shots and the color matte; they've been easy on my eyes. The plot is thorough
and thus simple to follow. One of the better scenes is the moment when the lead stars were far apart in the hotel room,
having a serious conversation. Meanwhile, Alfred Hitchcock makes his cameo, holding a baby in the lobby of Hotel d'Angleterre,
about eight minutes into the film.
All in all, had the last forty minutes been replaced with a ten-minute finisher, Torn Curtain would work out better.
Tortilla Flat (1942)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/21
2/21:
You can forget about the cinematic version of Tortilla Flat because the book was way better.
It has none of the down-to-earth style that John Steinbeck worked so hard to create. Instead, the film is about white men
pretending to be Hispanic while the real ones are portrayed as smiling morons. They couldn't get Anthony Quinn for the leading
role or what?
It seems that "paisano" means a retarded Mexican. At any rate, all this group of shiftless, lazy alcoholics do is drink
and engage in idle talk. Renting one of Danny's houses is fifteen bucks a month, but they refuse to put in eight to ten hours
of work for five dollars? Why...it'll be three days to make the rent, and one month's worth of work will be enough to live
in the house for half of the year.
I admit the first twenty minutes is great because of Spencer Tracy's glib talk. But it wears off as he turns out to be
a con man with no redeeming values. Sheesh, the bronze makeup on his face...what a case of brownface
with the phoniest Mexican accent ever.
Worse than Pilon is the creepy Danny Alvarez who's played by John Garfield. The way he behaved is akin to a ten-year-old boy who
likes to throw a temper tantrum without consequences. Hedy Lamarr's character must be stupid after she agreed to the idea of
marrying Danny. What exactly did she see in him besides his looks? It's a marriage that's doomed to fail. A vacuum cleaner?
Ha! The piece of shit won't work without electricity.
Imagine my surprise when the first house caught fire and the characters acted as if it's no big deal. Then, the same thing
happens to the second house at the end, and everybody has a gleeful time about it. What a stupid bunch of nitwits. If they're
going to treat houses so casually, why not sell them to people who know the value of such properties? This way, the bums can
use the money to drink themselves to death.
The cinematography is terrible and fake. It's obvious they used rear projection for the wharf while the rest was
done on a sound stage. Ditto for the "town." Of course, they filmed some of the cast just once in front of the
Monterey coast. Many viewers had good things to say about Frank Morgan as the Pirate, but I'm sorry to say I didn't
feel anything.
All in all, filled to the brim with racial stereotypes and boring times, Tortilla Flat is an embarrassment.
Total Recall (1990)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
12/04, 8/11, 2/24
8/11:
I used to think Total Recall was one of the greatest sci-fi pictures made.
But now, it's a stupid movie that's overtly violent for no reason. Plus, the chase to apprehend Douglas Quaid is what slowed
the pace down. Eventually, it becomes a boring tripe with no payoff at the end.
What I like about it the best is the creativity here and there. The mystery is intriguing as I kept trying to guess the
identity and whether it's real or fantasy. Take them away, and Total Recall doesn't have much going.
However, Arnold Schwarzenegger is fine. Sharon Stone isn't bad, either. The supporting cast is adequate. The primary
reason to see the film besides Arnold is the outstanding cinematography.
All in all, Total Recall has the potential to be a great sci-fi flick, but the violence is too much.
2/24:
Raising my rating from '5' to '9', I'm clear with what Total Recall is.
It's a dream movie, nothing more. Douglas Quaid had a Rekall experience he paid two weeks for. He'll wake up at the
end and be back to his life and wife, that is, Sharon Stone.
Everybody's acting is only a small part of it. This sci-fi masterpiece can't have been made possible without the vision
that harkens back to Blade Runner and therefore to Philip K. Dick. Drug abuse isn't out of
the question, either, as he dealt with alternate realities. It's why Total Recall felt like a mind trip.
All in all, Total Recall can be a difficult movie to judge, but I must conclude it's been well-made.
Touch of Evil (1958)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/07, 3/17
2/07:
I was expecting a classic film noir from Touch of Evil.
Instead, I saw what's maybe the worst Orson Welles picture ever made. I question the casting of Charlton Heston as a Mexican
cop. My goodness, the heavy brown makeup job on him...was Anthony Quinn that busy?
The first half is spent on a lot of talking while the second is about unraveling the plot that left me unsurprised.
For the love of humanity, why do I have to suffer through Marlene Dietrich's bullshit acting? It's so damn nauseating
to see her snooty face constantly.
All in all, I'll never forget Charlton Heston's portrayal of a fake Mexican cop in Touch of Evil.
3/17:
Touch of Evil is one of the most overrated films ever.
I saw it ten years ago and said the same thing. Recently, I thought I might have been wrong and decided to give it another try.
Nope, it's still the same sentiment. A box-office failure in 1958, Touch of Evil is almost as bad as
Mr. Arkadin and is in the same league as Rumble Fish:
visually appealing that's full of Wellesian parlor tricks in cinematography but overstylized with a nonsensical plot.
My head shakes at the sight of Charlton Heston. Moses? Yes. Ben-Hur? Yes. But a Mexican cop? Hell, no! He was definitely
over his head. Why couldn't Orson Welles get Anthony Quinn, Emilio Fernández, or Ricardo Montalbán? Marlene Dietrich is nearly
the worst thing about Touch of Evil. It all has to be about her when in fact she's a full-of-shit actress.
Janet Leigh's character was drugged and raped? Yeah, sure. Wake me up if it ever happens. By the way, why is somebody as
pretty as Susan okay with the idea of moving to Jerkwater Town, Mexico? Just stay home in Iowa or wherever the fuck she's
from. Plus, what kind of husband leaves her in a shithole motel? Norman Bates' motel had better accommodations, for Pete's
sake.
By the way, a friend offered Orson Welles a bunch of scripts. Orson picked the worst one to prove he could make a great
film out of it. The result is Touch of Evil which proves the film was already bad to begin with.
All in all, Orson Welles made one of the greatest film noir pictures, and it's called
The Lady from Shanghai.
The Towering Inferno (1974)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
4/06, 8/23
4/06:
What I don't like about The Towering Inferno is the lack of character depth.
All I see is a bunch of people who happen to be stuck in a skyscraper that's on fire and they're trying to survive.
Eventually, the high amount of blandness gets to me despite the all-star cast with some of their characters dead. That's why
I appreciate The Poseidon Adventure more.
Steve McQueen and Paul Newman work well together although it's obvious the former looks out of shape.
On the other hand, there are many scenes that don't mesh well together, so it's been a bad editing job.
The most haunting prediction is when Steve McQueen's character made a remark about skyscrapers leading to thousands
of deaths if disaster struck. He turned out to be correct twenty-seven years later when the terrorists took down
the Twin Towers of World Trade Center.
All in all, The Towering Inferno is disappointing as compared to
The Poseidon Adventure.
8/23:
My opinion of The Towering Inferno is better now.
The introduction is tough to stomach because of the soap opera crap. As soon as the fire breaks out, that's when the movie
begins. Sometimes, it's easy to make comparisons with Die Hard as both involve a skyscraper.
Believe it or not, Roderick Thorp saw The Towering Inferno and was inspired to write a book called
Nothing Lasts Forever which was filmed under a different title: Die Hard. What helps a lot is the all-star cast.
Oddly, Faye Dunaway was the love interest for three leading men who appear at the same time: Paul Newman
(The Towering Inferno), William Holden (Network), and Steve McQueen
(The Thomas Crown Affair).
People die when disaster strikes, and it's a fact of life. At least this time, there aren't any annoying characters like
The Poseidon Adventure except for the mayor's wife. Who the hell cares about her?
On the other hand, the scenes look realistic which can be dramatic. I like it when the architect wouldn't listen to anything by
James Duncan who's trying to save face. Steve McQueen's character was prescient when he warned, "One of these days, they'll kill
10,000 in one of these firetraps." Then, 9/11 happened.
As for the cast, all are good. Of course, it's a battle between Paul Newman and Steve McQueen. So, who won? I'll say Steve
McQueen came out ahead by having better lines and a couple instances of exciting heroism. I'm surprised to see Jennifer
Jones looking so old; it's the final film of her career anyway. Fred Astaire received an Oscar nomination for Best Actor in a
Supporting Role, but he didn't deserve it.
All in all, if you can't get enough of Airport and
The Poseidon Adventure, then by all means, go for The Towering Inferno.
The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/12, 10/14
1/12:
The Town That Dreaded Sundown, which is a great title by the way, was one of the earliest slasher films that may
have influenced the creation of Friday the 13th.
Before there was Jason Voorhees, there was the Phantom Killer of Texarkana who was never caught for his crimes, giving the
unsolved case an ominous feel. Although the horror aspects meet the standards of the 70's-80's slasher flicks, the direction
is disappointingly weak. If not for Sparkplug, The Town That Dreaded Sundown would've been better.
At the end, there's an explanation of what happened to the characters, and Sparkplug turns out to be fictional.
Then, why bother having him in the first place? The best part is the narration, and the filmmakers should've stuck with it
from start to finish.
All in all, The Town That Dreaded Sundown needs a better director, but it's a cool poster right there.
10/14:
It's Halloween time which means I'm in the mood for a horror movie, and my choice is The Town That Dreaded Sundown.
It's an underrated serial killer picture. I'm still annoyed by the presence of Sparkplug who's merely there to provide
comedy relief when he should've been dropped. On the other hand, I like Vern Stierman's narration, giving the film a
matter-of-factly tone in a haunting manner. Deputy Norman Ramsey, who's played well by Andrew Prine, starts things off,
and then the old pro, Ben Johnson, takes over to make the murder mystery plot credible.
The Phantom, who dons a white pillowcase with poked holes, is terrifying. I can't help but feel that he must
be suffocating with all the breathing inside. Anyway, I love the cinematography and the setup of the eerie atmosphere
as it's mostly shot on location in Texarkana where the Phantom struck in 1946 and was never caught thereafter.
All in all, The Town That Dreaded Sundown is an influential horror classic that could've gotten a '10' from
me had Sparkplug been eliminated.
The Toxic Avenger (1984)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
3/13
3/13:
The Toxic Avenger is one of the most famous cult films to come out of the 80's.
If anyone has seen it or the sequels, he knows what they're all about: lots of violence with no holds barred,
over-the-top emotions, super hero shtick, low-grade popcorn intelligence, and tons of cheese. It's been a long time since I
saw the original. Although I don't mind the violence and all that, I just question the message.
Given Toxie will destroy people who are inherently evil, how can we say someone is that? What if it's only
temporary? Are some kids bad, and should they die, too? Then, I question the necessity of gruesome violence as shown. An
example is ripping the guts out of the mayor in front of everybody. Yeah, well...it's what I call a cult film in toxic style.
All in all, The Toxic Avenger beats nearly anything that comes out nowadays.
Toy Soldiers (1991)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
8/04, 2/18, 2/22
2/18:
Toy Soldiers is an unusual high school movie because of the creative story.
It doesn't hurt, either, to have a strong cast which includes Sean Astin, Louis Gossett, Jr., Denholm Elliott, Jerry Orbach,
Wil Wheaton, Keith Coogan, and Andrew Divoff, a Venezuelian-born actor who plays an underrated villain. The pace and plot,
which is explained well by the movie poster, make it easy to get into Toy Soldiers from start to finish, and it's hard
to pause the film any minute.
More importantly, the terrorist scheme is believable and realistic. To cap it off is the strength of the acting by the
entire cast. Luis Cali is a bad guy who shouldn't be messed with. If there's anything negative, it's
just that the movie can be a tad corny and takes a while to get started.
All in all, if you're looking for a fun, creative modern picture with high school kids, look no further than Toy Soldiers.
2/22:
Toy Soldiers is The Goonies meets Die Hard.
This time, the boys are grown up and attend an elite prep high school. The story is great, so is the battle. Sean Astin
is once again in the lead role while Andrew Divoff steals the show as Luis Cali who makes for a formidable adversary
since Hans Gruber.
There are memorable scenes. Some of the best are Sean Astin coming back for the roll call in a dramatic
fashion, Keith Coogan having a fake asthma attack, and Jerry Orbach's reaction after finding out what happened to his
character's stupid son.
It's interesting to notice Louis Gossett, Jr., standing next to R. Lee Ermey. The latter trained the former to give an
Oscar-winning peformance in An Officer and a Gentleman and would go on to do
the exact same role in Full Metal Jacket. Gossett, Jr.'s "Pick up that banana" line
with each syllable punctuated is funny although it's actually a banana peel he's referring to.
All in all, although cheesy in spots, Toy Soldiers will never get old.
Track of the Cat (1954)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
3/24
3/24:
Track of the Cat is an example of false advertising.
Because of the DVD cover, I thought the movie was going to be a man-vs-nature story, but it's hardly that. Worse is the first
twenty-minutes of the brothers getting excited about killing the black panther so many times that I thought it's
what's going to happen next.
Instead, I've been fooled big, big, big time. The movie is a snoozefest about a family of idiots. There are three
brothers, and two of them die in the most boneheaded way. The tale goes back and forth a lot: ten to fifteen minutes
of melodrama at the fake house that's set on a sound stage and one minute of Robert Mitchum out in the cold for real.
Finally, Robert Mitchum is sprung into action, but he plays the worst hunter who ever lived. Hence, he's killed
just like that. So much for his character's big talk at the beginning which led me to believe he knew what he was doing.
The idea of anyone finding his body in the middle of nowhere is ludicrous, but Tab Hunter's character manages to accomplish it
without a problem. I love the highlight when Robert Mitchum had a book of Keats' poems on hand but used it to build a fire.
As a matter of fact, Track of the Cat isn't Robert Mitchum's but Tab Hunter's movie. He's an awful actor who has only
one expression throughout: a pissed-off look. I'm surprised his character was able to dig a six-foot hole in the middle of
the winter when the ground was supposed to be frozen solid. Plus, his pants are pristinely clean which means he did no
digging. His character gets to kill the black panther, which is never shown in the film, as if it's to serve a huge dish of
metaphor to say this boy had finally become a man. Ridiculous.
By the way, you won't believe it, but this is true. The fake Indian is played by a white man, and the actor is none other
than Carl "Alfalfa" Switzer of The Little Rascals fame. Anyway, no matter what everybody says,
there's no such thing as a black panther! Not in the United States anyway. It's probably a mountain lion.
All in all, had it been just Robert Mitchum tracking the black panther the entire time, Track of the Cat would be
infinitely better.
Trading Places (1983)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
11/03, 3/06
3/06:
Trading Places has its moments but is hard to believe.
Was there a successful black commodities broker back then? I don't think so given there was a lot of racism in Wall
Street during the 80's. Just because Eddie Murphy looks polished and handsome doesn't mean his character can speak the
language fluently and know exactly what's going on just like that.
Not a comedy, Trading Places seems to work well, thanks to the strength of fine acting from Dan Aykroyd and
Jamie Lee Curtis. It's not a strong performance by Eddie Murphy as he's much better in
Beverly Hills Cop and Coming to America.
I got lost near the end when there was a blow-up during the stock market, and I wished I knew what was going on.
Although I know the filmmakers want to prove a point, the concept of an uneducated black male trading places
with a well-do white guy with many years of education and Wall Street experience and performing as well will never fly.
All in all, the premise of Trading Places is impossible.
Traffic (2000)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/04, 4/05, 8/18
4/05:
Traffic is an overlong but gritty movie with a fair amount of above-average to excellent acting.
There's Benicio del Toro, and there's everybody else. He's the sole reason why I watched the movie again. His
performance is classy which won him the Oscar.
Yes, the movie is interesting and all, but I'm overwhelmed by the enormity of the parallel storylines and the
number of players involved. If there's anything I hate the most, it's the scenes with the preppy high school
kids who have meaningless dialogues about nothing important.
Michael Douglas is okay. Catherine Zeta-Jones is too snobbish to generate sympathy from me. Luis Guzman is fair while Don
Cheadle is miscast due to his poor acting skills. It's been a long fall for Dennis Quaid, a great actor whose cocaine
addiction had finally caught up with him. Steven Bauer looks done, having struggled with alcohol and drug addictions
for numerous years and therefore squandered his acting talent.
All in all, Benicio del Toro is the best thing about Traffic.
8/18:
Traffic won Oscars for Best Supporting Actor, Best Director, Best Film Editing, and Best Adapted Screenplay, and I must
say each selection had been correct.
Benicio del Toro is the reason to watch the film over and over. It's such a classy performance that ends with his character
watching a kid baseball game and knowing what he had done. He has another great scene when he's in the pool with two
DEA agents for a chat.
It's not easy to convert a film with many competing storylines into an outstanding picture, but Steven Soderbergh, who's
been a top-notch director in his own right, accomplished the feat and that's why he won the Oscar. In fact, Traffic,
not Gladiator, should've won the Oscar for Best Picture.
The tale of Benicio del Toro's character and his partner is the grittiest and most real. One smart decision is using a distinct
color for each storyline. Hence, it's easy to adjust whenever there's a switch.
Of course, to revisit Traffic many times is to be shackled with the dreadful chore of putting up with several pathetic
characters, who are played by Erika Christensen (when I thought that was Julia Stiles), Topher Grace (again but Jeremy
London), and Catherine Zeta-Jones, having problems that I don't give a flying fuck about. They're hard to watch in the
cringeworthy sense.
It's interesting to see Michael Douglas portraying a father whose daughter is a drug addict because that's how it played
out in real life for him with his son Cameron who served seven years in prison for heroin possession, sale of
methamphetamine, and smuggling drugs into prison.
By the way, notice that Miguel Ferrer is in the film playing Eduardo Ruiz. His father, José Ferrer, was the first Puerto
Rican (and also Hispanic) to win an Oscar by playing Cyrano de Bergerac. Benicio del Toro is the third Puerto Rican ever to so
although he originally didn't know how to speak Spanish. Rita Moreno was the second for
West Side Story.
All in all, Traffic is compelling, and Benicio del Toro earned the Oscar.
The Train (1964)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
11/15, 4/20, 12/20
11/15:
As great as John Frankenheimer was as a director of political thrillers, The Train isn't exciting enough.
Yet Burt Lancaster is splendid and does all of his own stunts including jumping off the moving train and rolling down
the hill. Eventually, he got hurt during a game of golf away from the set, so the scenes of him limping around aren't fake.
And the most incredible part of all: Burt Lancaster was 50 years old at the time of filming.
In an early role, Paul Scofield, the Academy Award winner for A Man for All Seasons,
gives a serious performance as the Nazi connoisseur of art. My only wish is his character spoke German. At the end, he has a final
and perfect moment to sum up what the movie is all about: "Was saving art masterpieces worth the lives of many?"
Being similar to La bête humaine, the 1938 French film by Jean Renoir with Jean Gabin,
the black-and-white cinematography adds a great deal of richness to the atmosphere of The Train, but unfortunately, it
wasn't awarded an Oscar nomination.
All in all, The Train is an enjoyable film with terrific performances that although falls somewhat short when it
comes to excitement.
4/20:
The Train is a riveting WWII motion picture starring Burt Lancaster and Paul Scofield.
Both Jean Tournier and Walter Wottitz should've received Oscar nominations for the black-and-white cinematography work
which makes up 65% of the picture; it's one of the best I've seen, even down to the sweat on the characters' faces.
If the film was done in color instead, a lot of the power would've been lost.
Burt Lancaster supplies the next 30%. He's as thrilling as anyone can be in the action genre, easily knocking off Marlon
Brando in the all-around great actor category. There's one thing that's undeniable about Burt Lancaster: he consistently
made lots and lots of terrific movies and did all his own stunts.
The final 5% feels like a bonus: Paul Scofield. Although he appeared in about twenty theatrically released pictures, he had
always given a masterful performance who's never been less than 100%, making other actors fearful of him. Meanwhile, Jeanne
Moreau, Wolfgang Preiss, and Michel Simon of Boudu sauvé des eaux and
L'Atalante fame do an admirable job as well.
Of course, the story is a can't-beat: the national honor of France is being transported to Germany and it must be stopped at
all cost. The only philosophical question that's left at the end is: were the paintings worth human lives?
That's difficult to answer, but it's a fine film directed by John Frankenheimer that's full of realism.
All in all, The Train is one of the best movies made.
12/20:
Chalk up The Train as one of the most exciting WWII pictures.
Nothing beats the sight of Burt Lancaster in action. He going down the ladder quickly, jumping off the train while it's in
motion, running across the bridge, and getting through the mountain range with a injured leg are some of the film's highest
points. Also, it has some great aerial shots, especially when the railyard is bombed.
Going against the fiery Burt Lancaster, Paul Scofield gives it all by putting on masterpiece acting to heighten the
black-and-white cinematography. Jeanne Moreau is also exceptional, bringing her French talent to the table. Naturally,
The Train asks an important question: which carries more worth, art or life? I feel the answer has to be the
latter as demonstrated at the end. A lot of people died for nothing so the rich could look at great paintings in mere seconds.
All in all, you can do no wrong with Burt Lancaster films, and The Train is one of them.
Training Day (2001)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/03, 6/17
6/17:
Training Day...now, that shit will get you fired.
Just ask Dean Zipes, a Florida sheriff's deputy who recently acted out a scene from the movie by rubbing his pistol and Taser
together in the direction of a convenience store in front of a police trainee. Beaming with pride, Alonzo Harris might as
well call him "my niggah."
I saw Training Day in 2003 and hated it. Seeing the movie again, my sentiment remains the same. I'm having too much
cognitive dissonance just like Ethan Hawke's character. The feeling has been mutual as in "what the fuck?"
It's one of the most manipulative movies I've ever seen. What Alonzo Harris did is unrealistic, outrageous, and
impossible. He sure has his way with words. Who drives a car in public with multiple gunshots in the rear windshield?
As for Denzel Washington, it's the most Denzel performance ever, earning himself a second Oscar. I suppose he
deserved it, and there's no getting around that fact. Ethan Hawke isn't bad himself. As a result, he was Oscar-nominated.
It could've been worse because everybody was ready to roll with Tobey Maguire until Ethan Hawke became available at
the last minute when the shooting was about to commence.
The first half is okay, but it's during the second when the film fell apart by becoming cartoonish as evidenced by the
absurd ending. As a result, Denzel Washington's character lost credibility and could be safely dismissed with a
wave of the hand as long as it's supported by a loaded gun.
All in all, Denzel Washington makes Training Day an unforgettable, albeit unbelievable, picture.
The Tramp (1915)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/07
7/07:
The Tramp is another film by Charlie Chaplin to show off his sadism.
It goes and goes on but never to my amusement. What's the point? How am I entertained? Is this guy
a mental midget? These are the questions I put forth before Charlie Chaplin.
All in all, The Tramp is another addition in the long list of worst films made by Charlie Chaplin.
Transylvania 6-5000 (1985)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
5/13
5/13:
Everybody tries too hard to be funny in Transylvania 6-5000.
Many times, they go through the motions. Of the cast, Michael Richards is the lamest, prompting me to ask, "What the hell is
he doing?" Hard to believe is there are reviewers who actually thought the movie was funny. If they want to see a comedy
featuring many horror legends, then they should check out The Monster Squad.
All in all, Transylvania 6-5000 has left me bored to tears.
Trapeze (1956)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
Trapeze is better than either The Flame and the Arrow or
The Crimson Pirate.
That's because it's the right avenue to show off Burt Lancaster's acrobatics background. I'm surprised to see Tony Curtis
being game for it. Making most of the biggest break of his movie career hitherto, he did do some of the stunts, but neither star was
allowed to perform the most dangerous ones, most especially the triple somersault. It's funny that Tony Curtis was a lifelong
aviophobic but had no problem going up the 40-foot pole.
Performance-wise, Gina Lollobrigida steals the show by setting up a weird love triangle. However, I can do without it because
the circus stuff is more than enough. Shot on location in Paris, the filmmakers have done the smart thing by including as many
acts in the background just to keep me busy, hence the Wellesian effect.
All in all, Trapeze is a fun movie to watch.
Trapped (2002)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/22
2/22:
It's easy to understand why Trapped bombed badly at the box office.
Getting the chance to torture a female, most actors would've seen their careers to die afterwards, but Kevin Bacon could thank
his somewhat A-list status for moving on to the next one. On the receiving end is Charlize Theron which is weird to see. She's
better than that. Although the torture-mind games part may be disturbing for a while, the hostage situation is the most
realistic I've seen to date.
However, the last twenty minutes is what killed Trapped. It's too much: one cliffhanger stunt after another after
another after another. I'll give credit where it's due: the filmmakers didn't use any CGI or bad visual effects the entire time.
It's obvious Charlize Theron accidentally fell down at one point.
Why is there exactly twenty-four hours? What's the ultimate goal? Given the family of three, it seems to be done in
less than half of the time allocated. The reasons why are unclear except for having the wrong doctor which killed the daughter
years ago during some medical mishap. Perhaps it serves as an excuse for the plot. I don't understand why Joe Hickey is
revealing himself a lot in terms of identity. If I were him, I would keep quiet.
The acting is fine with the exception of Dakota Fanning who overdoes her part. For a little girl who claims to have a
major disorder, what she has is common asthma. Kevin Bacon's character is accurately shown dying toward the end. Yet he
has too much energy and is able to do more for hours on end. It's not possible given the high amount of blood loss.
All in all, Trapped was going well until the absurd finale.
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
I had high expectations for The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, but it's a disappointing film.
It starts off strong but falters a lot during the final hour due to overlong obstacles with the Mexicans getting
in the way. I dislike Humphrey Bogart's character the most although I'll never say that for him in most films. Walter
Huston's Oscar-winning performance is decent but isn't what I call "awesome."
All in all, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre got tons of praise, but the movie didn't do anything for me.
Trees Lounge (1996)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/13
3/13:
Trees Lounge is a neverending parade of losers.
That's what the film is about, and it quickly goes nowhere. Every single character is a 100% through and through loser,
and the ending is a big "duh." If Chloë Sevigny wasn't part of the cast, Trees Lounge would be a straight F turkey.
All in all, Steve Buscemi needs to stick with what he knows the best: acting.
Tremors (1990)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/05, 3/13
11/05:
Welcome back, B movies of the sci-fi genre.
Tremors is a big treat. Everything is plain awesome, and the movie is thrilling and scary in
the vein of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Kevin Bacon does a great
job along with Fred Ward. The story works out well, and the characters are engaging to make the film hip and fun to watch.
Unlike many others, Tremors lays down the rules and faithfully follows them to the end. The creativity is
to be praised. Where the special effects fails for Screamers, Tremors capitalizes.
All in all, Tremors still looks great and fresh for a 1990 picture.
3/13:
Tremors is a standout given the long line of badly-made sci-fi B films.
It's not the casting that did it although having Kevin Bacon on board certainly helps, but rather, it's the intelligent script.
The concept of subterranean monsters growing smarter over time is what makes Tremors fresh all the way to the end.
Many films die when the formula has been figured out and then goes in circles before finishing out with a predictable ending but
not Tremors. It's always a new situation with plenty of group-thinking in every scene, allowing me to participate
along with the characters.
All in all, Tremors, which is often funny while keeping the drama close at a distance, is one of the best sci-fi
B movies made.
Trial and Error (1997)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/03, 2/06
2/06:
Let's go back to the very first episode of Seinfeld: Kramer (or should I say Kessler?) once told Jerry Seinfeld,
"Did you know that I was almost a lawyer? This close."
Well, well, well...who knew eight years later Michael Richards would star in Trial and Error? It's among the
funniest courtroom pictures I've seen. Jeff Daniels is "trial" while Michael Richards is "error."
The story is charming. I love the switch of roles: a certified lawyer who goes bonkers and a charlatan who takes
the profession seriously. It's nice to see Charlize Theron and Austin Pendleton having fun with this.
All in all, Trial and Error is the best movie Michael Richards has ever done.
Trial by Jury (1994)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
It's hard not to be reminded of The Juror, but the truth is: Trial by Jury predates
it by two years.
The blueprint is exactly the same: Joanne Whalley-Kilmer is Demi Moore, and they both have a son, have been selected for jury duty
in a major trial, and are being threatened by an enforcer to vote not guilty or else. Instead of Alec Baldwin, it's William Hurt.
As a bonus, Armand Assante plays it up big.
So, which film is better? I'll say they're about the same. If not for Alec Baldwin, I go with Trial by Jury by a wide margin
only because it's almost a solid thriller. The performances have won me over, but it's a dumb picture in some
ways that feels finished by the time a hung jury verdict has been rendered.
Joanne Whalley-Kilmer looks like Ashley Judd here, but the former is a better actress than the latter. I question Tommy Vesey's
wisdom of choosing her character because she's obviously too bold. If he went with a weaker person like Jane the red-headed
woman, the outcome would've looked better for the bad guys. Speaking of them, there are barely anyone around Rusty Pirone given
the fact that he's the godfather.
All in all, Trial by Jury and The Juror are more or less the same.
The Trip to Bountiful (1985)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/14
6/14:
So mind-numbingly boring, The Trip to Bountiful is what I call a pain-in-the-ass-viewing.
By the time the film ends, nothing much has been resolved. It's about an old dingbat who wants to take one last look at her
childhood home. At the same time, I'm thinking of how relieved Thelma was by getting the
hell out of dodge after her strange encounter with the loquacious blue-haired hen.
I bet as soon as Thelma got home she would be exclaiming, with wide-open eyes, to her parents, "You won't believe
what the fuck happened to me in Houston." Yeah, even more so is the inexplicable Oscar win for Geraldine Page who plays one
of the worst movie characters I've had the displeasure of watching.
Geraldine Page goes through every trick she can possibly find in her old 40's book on acting and then invents some more. I
struggled to survive every scene with her which is either cringeworthy or embarrassing. In fact, this weak film had to be
made for the Praise Jesus folks.
All in all, if you'll recommend The Trip to Bountiful to me, I'm going to punch you in the face.
Triple Trouble (1918)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
No words can adequately explain how much of a triple trouble the film was in.
All in all, stay far away from Triple Trouble.
Triumph of the Spirit (1989)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
12/20
12/20:
Before Schindler's List hit the silver screen, there was Triumph of the Spirit.
Calling it a Holocaust boxing picture will be a serious mistake because that's not what the movie is about. It's about survival
during the Holocaust, period. I've read countless survivors' stories with some of them that were accomplished through strange
means. Based on what happened to Jewish Greek boxer Salamo Arouch, he had to go through over 200 fights to survive because
the loser of each match would be sent to the gas chambers.
Throughout, there's a downward progression of Greek Jewish people's freedom as they've slowly lost their rights,
relocated to ghettos, and been taken to Auschwitz. That being said, it makes for a painful viewing. For many, mental
toughness is what they needed the most to survive although luck plays a big role.
The wording of the title is interesting because Leni Riefenstahl created a 1935 Nazi propaganda film called
Triumph des Willens which is, in English, Triumph of the Will. By switching
the final word to Spirit, it becomes a Holocaust victim story that's borne through Nazis' rise to power as chronicled
in Leni Riefenstahl's documentary.
There are superlative performances by Willem Dafoe, Robert Loggia, Edward James Olmos, Costas Mandylor (in his screen debut),
Wendy Gazelle, and Kelly Wolf. The film isn't about any of them but rather the grand scheme of things.
The actions of Edward James Olmos' character are dead-on, having been too close to the truth of a kapo. As distasteful as it
was, the job was a way of surviving the Holocaust for common violent criminals like him. On the other hand, it's the first
picture shot on location at the Auschwitz death camp, so it must have been a difficult filming experience for everybody.
All in all, predating Schindler's List by four years, Triumph of the Spirit
is raw and uncompromising.
Trois (2000)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/21
4/21:
In the world of Trois, the moral is if a man wishes a threesome, bad shit will happen as a consequence.
Initially, I was anticipating a soft porno because I thought there was no such thing in black cinema, but I'm pleasantly
surprised how well it turned out to be in terms of production values. Right off the bat, the performances are what got my
attention for being excellent given the budget of $250,000. Then, the treat is the ramifications leading up to the shocking
twist.
For an adult-themed picture, it's low in nudity but high in acting and story. A lot of credit goes to Gary
Dourdan and Kenya Moore for making the whole thing work. Bryce Wilson plays a strange guy as in "what the heck is he doing
there?" out of nowhere. Yet his presence will start making sense at the end while Jade Owens keeps throwing everybody off
the entire time.
I find it weird there are married people who are perfectly okay talking about their sex lives with friends. Well, they should
learn to keep the intimate details to themselves. It's so awkward to hear that sort of thing. In many ways, Trois is a
philosophical picture about the chasm between sex and love.
So, what started the whole mess? All fingers have to be pointed at Jermaine. He, a hard-working black lawyer, already had a
beautiful wife, and there's no need to fuck that up. But he did it. She left him at the end, and I don't blame her. Jermaine
wasn't trustworthy by any means.
All in all, I'm looking forward to the next two sequels of Trois, and I predict it's going to center around the
aforementioned moral.
Trois couleurs: Bleu (1993)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/12
8/12:
Let's play a game.
Take the word "blue." What's a homophone of it? It's "blew" which is the past tense of "blow." What rhymes with "blow"?
Of course, it's "slow." Hence, Trois couleurs: Bleu is just that.
Let me save you the suspense: nothing—absolutely nothing—ever happens in the film. Zero. Zilch. Zippo.
"Mysterious...Sexy!" *yawn* Yeah, sure...
All in all, I was proved dead wrong when I thought Trois couleurs: Bleu was going to be about the aforementioned color.
Tropic Thunder (2008)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
Going into Tropic Thunder, I knew I would see a stupid movie and thought I would be offended.
The first did happen, but the second, not really. Yeah, it's disturbing to see war in the likes of
Platoon, Apocalypse Now, and
Hamburger Hill being parodied, but that was for the
movie within the film. If that did get released, forget it...nobody would've accepted the outcome, setting
another new low point in Hollywood.
Anyway, Tropic Thunder is an okay comedy with plenty of ups and downs. So, I'll focus on the negatives
first. The ending is too long; just get on the helicopter and move out of there. I hate Jack Black, and he's
mostly annoying in Tropic Thunder although he has several funny moments. The kid would've been killed when the fat guy
landed on him in one scene.
Some, if not all, of the actors should've died during their engagement with the Vietnamese heroin manufacturers only because they aren't
trained killers. While they're out there in the jungle, why isn't anyone from the crew looking for them? By
the way, there's no reason for Hollywood to shoot the film in Vietnam; it'll be done in the Philippines just
like Platoon and Apocalypse Now
while using their historically-accurate military equipment (Tropic Thunder was actually shot on
location in Hawaii).
Now, for the positives, the script is somewhat catchy which was started by Ben Stiller in 1987 while
working on a film called Empire of the Sun. Seeing Tom Cruise and Nick
Nolte, two serious heavyweight actors, in this piece of crap is shocking enough, but they've done a good job with Tom Cruise
never having acted this way in previous films. Robert Downey, Jr., received an
Oscar nomination (I have no issues with him being blackfaced; Daniel Day-Lewis would've done the same thing, and it's meant
to be a parody of The Method acting), but Tom Cruise should've gotten it, too.
The most interesting part of the entire film is when Ben Stiller's and Robert Downey, Jr.'s characters had a serious
talk about how to game the system in terms of winning an Oscar. The latter kept
telling the former to "never go full retard" when playing an intellectually disabled character. It's true.
As a matter of fact, Cliff Robertson was the first person to do it, and I mentioned that in my review of
Charly years ago. It's a pet peeve of mine for this sort of thing along with alcoholics and hookers.
As for the director played by Steve Coogan, it happened to John Frankenheimer when he had a
huge control issue over Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer during the making of
The Island of Dr. Moreau.
There are others, but this is the most infamous besides
Mutiny on the Bounty, again with Marlon Brando.
Plenty of movie references are made, and surprisingly, one of them is A Cry in the Dark.
The thing about Nick Nolte playing somebody whose battle experiences were faked is actually more common than people
think, and that's not limited to war; that's why I say never trust these biography books unless they were written by somebody else who's
independent and reputable. Tom Cruise's character is modeled after a combination of Scott Rudin, Joel
Silver, and Harvey Weinstein who were eventually dropped by Hollywood because of their abusive behaviors. It
was his idea which wasn't originally in the script.
All in all, Tropic Thunder would've been more successful if it was highly realistic, and it didn't
help matters any that a panda was killed with its head being used for the purpose of parading around.
The Trouble with Harry (1955)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
6/06
6/06:
The Trouble with Harry is one of the worst pictures ever made.
It's awful, stupid, unbelievable, and moronic. There's no question the movie was made for mental retards. Any reasonable
person will know for a fact that a human corpse stinks bad, worse than any scent imaginable, but it, being dragged
around all day, is going to attract attention in the vicinity.
Of the cast, I hate everybody, most especially Shirley MacLaine. I also hate the plot. It's not a funny but a stupid,
boring movie. All the four principal characters deserve to go to prison for being an accessory after fact to murder.
All in all, get the dead stink called The Trouble with Harry off me.
True Believer (1989)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/18, 6/24
10/18:
True Believer plays out the same way as The Verdict, and make no mistake: it is
100% James Woods' show.
This is an entertaining tale of a disillusioned lawyer who's down on his luck and finally manages to find a needle
in the haystack to make a last-ditch effort to save his client from being sent away again for a murder he didn't commit.
If there's ever a film featuring James Woods at his arrogant best, it's this. Unfortunately, the smug son of a bitch may
have overplayed his signature card toward the end, yet he's entirely watchable.
The nice aspect about Robert Downey, Jr., is that he realizes he isn't the star or hasn't a lot to contribute to
the show and therefore stays out of James Woods' way. While watching the film, I realized it's been his typical
tactic throughout the late 80's and most of the 90's which makes me appreciate him more as a supporting actor.
All in all, armed with a great story and ever-arresting James Woods' performance, True Believer is a can't-stop
movie from start to finish.
6/24:
You've got to love James Woods in True Believer.
His performance is unbeatable, especially when he makes his argument in courtroom. The direction is strong, never insulting
my intelligence at any minute. One thing leads to the next, and everything seems to be logically sound. Robert Downey, Jr., does a
good job as well.
All in all, if you loved The Verdict, True Believer should be right up your alley.
True Blue (2001)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
11/20
11/20:
I was ready to give True Blue a '6' until the WTF revelation that threw the whole thing off the rails.
The only reason why I opted for the alcohol-and-smoke-filled film is Tom Berenger. His acting is solid as usual, but I wish he
had better material to work with. Honestly, what the heck happened to him?
Forget about the rest of the cast which is made up of nobodies. It's odd to see Nikki hanging around the detective so much
that she's going to serve an imminent twist. I was literally waiting for it to happen.
The plot is somewhat intriguing, but let's be real here: True Blue is as run-of-the-mill as it gets. Of course, director
J.S. Cardone, whose résumé is pure garbage, has to come up with something absurd and unpredictable to make the film more
memorable which ended up backfiring on him.
Understandably, thinking he could do it again, Tom Berenger had done similar neo-noir pictures such as
Someone to Watch Over Me, Last Rites,
Love at Large, Shattered,
Sliver, and Body Language, but they're all infinitely
better than True Blue. If anything, I'm surprised to see how much his looks had gone downhill in eight years' time.
He even looks unrecognizable in the movie poster.
All in all, instead of the original title, Truly Convoluted sounds right.
True Colors (1991)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/06, 7/20
4/06:
True Colors is an exceptional picture about friendship, politics, and power.
It's also one of those movies that if the principal stars had their roles reversed the plot would still work anyway.
John Cusack shines the most, just terrific acting. James Spader is wonderful. The great Richard Widmark turns in the
final film performance of his career that began with an Oscar-nominated character named Tommy Udo for
Kiss of Death.
All in all, True Colors has it all for a superb political picture.
7/20:
Selling out people is the name of the game in True Colors.
Grossing $418,807 against a budget of $20 million, it's an exceedingly well-done picture with terrific acting. Being the glue
that holds the plot together, John Cusack gives the performance of his career. He belongs in political films, having a
big role in City Hall, too. James Spader is James Spader, and for Richard Widmark, it's
his final film role.
The most pivotal moment is when Peter Burton confronted his old friends from the past at the bar during New Year's Eve
celebration. It'll set up a pattern for the rest of the film with each sellout worse than before. At the same time,
the ever-idealistic Tim Gerrity should've asked himself, "What am I hanging with him for?" At least, John Lawry (Paul Guilfoyle)
knew who he was dealing with: a phony with mischievous eye on the ball.
All in all, True Colors is All the King's Men of the 90's.
True Confessions (1981)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/14
2/14:
True Confessions is a fascinating insight into the corruption among mélange of clergy and gentry during the mid
40's in Los Angeles.
Right in the middle of it is the cop brother of a well-respected but morally corrupt monsignor who puts the pieces together.
Although the homicide case of a one-time porn actress looks unsolvable, it still doesn't stop the interest of what's being
uncovered as time goes on.
The heavyweights of the cast are Robert De Niro, Robert Duvall, and Charles Durning who give excellent performances.
Added into the mix are Burgess Meredith and Ken McMillan. Throughout are many neo-noir traits that aren't any different
from Chinatown but on a smaller scale.
All in all, True Confessions is worth watching.
True Crime (1999)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/09
7/09:
Not only is True Crime a weak film, but it's also a rip-off of Call Northside 777.
However, what helps the Clint Eastwood picture the most is his distinctive style. Unfortunately, some of the acting is corny
which was probably the result of getting one take in order to finish the film in time and on budget.
James Woods has overdone it this time. Michael McKean is a caricature for a priest. If that's the case,
then why is he allowed around death row inmates? It makes no sense.
I like the story and the buildup of race-against-the-clock tension, but it's been predictable right to the
end. But did the jailers have to go great lengths to recover the green crayon stick? Why not buy one at some
nickel-and-dime store?
The speed-zoo scene is ridiculous. Worse is the sight of Clint Eastwood trying to bed a girl who can pass for his
granddaughter. Come on, no female gunning for a Ph.D. will be that stupid to kill herself like how it happened; there
should be some subtlety.
Why does the reporter drag the black lady to the governor's mansion when he should've brought the media to her house and let
the golden necklace be casually discovered? It'll make things easier considering the possible treacherous move to
salvage Warren's memory.
All in all, True Crime is an okay movie in parts, but Call Northside 777 is
so much better.
True Lies (1994)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
3/05, 1/25
1/25:
Partly based on a 1991 French comedy called La Totale!, True Lies is an underrated espionage picture.
This is the third outing for Arnold Schwarzengger and James Cameron after working on the first two films of
The Terminator franchise. You know the adage: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
As a result, it was a smash hit in 1994, finishing third overall at the box office, because of three reasons:
lots of action, ingenious storyline, and Jamie Lee Curtis.
The best part of the film is the limousine on the Seven Mile Bridge in the Florida Keys, especially when
Arnold Schwarzenegger held his arm out to rescue Jamie Lee Curtis. The scene is a very, very Hitchcockian-esque. Another is
Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Harrier at the end to save the daughter. What's also nice is the usage of authentic locations. I
can even recognize where they shot the film in Washington, D.C., including the Shops at Georgetown Park and
Chinatown.
There are good supporting roles by Tom Arnold whose line "What kind of sick bitch takes the ice cube trays
out of the freezer?" happened for real as he was in the process of being divorced by Roseanne, Bill Paxton, Tia Carrere, and
Art Malik. But without Jamie Lee Curtis who actually got the role on the strength of her fantastic
performance in A Fish Called Wanda, True Lies would've been
a banal "been there, done it before" actioner. It's the "is she cheating on me or what?" twist that makes it a
funny picture, allowing the action part to segue with the rest of the story. James Cameron's genius is blending
in the special effects just like how he did for The Abyss,
Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and
Titanic, hence True Lies' sole Academy Award nomination.
I've said this before that Charlton Heston always bore an uncanny resemblance to Arnold Schwarzenegger,
right down to their teeth. And here they are in the same screen while having a powwow in the basement of
Omega Sector. If there's anything to dislike, it's quite obvious that a stunt double is being used for Arnold
Schwarzenegger in some action scenes.
All in all, True Lies will make a lot of people like and be comfortable with this type of action
picture compared to so much rubbish that came out after the year of 2000.
True Love (1989)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/16
12/16:
Talk about average.
Why My Big Fat Greek Wedding worked is it had many interesting characters and things were happening, making
for a funny and enjoyable film. But True Love is drab with cardboard characters. I didn't care for anyone.
What comedy? There isn't any but depressing moments which can make it a good movie for youngsters who are madly in
love with each other to think twice about getting married because they need to get know each other first. I didn't mind
the culture in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but in True Love, it's too Italian for my taste. I had
enough of it through The Godfather.
Making her feature film debut, Annabella Sciorra is okay, but she's way better in
Mr. Wonderful with Matt
Dillon. Her co-star Ron Eldard is fair, but his self-centered character is ridiculous to put up with. If I have to pick
somebody who's a standout, it's Aida Turturro who plays Grace the bridesmaid. It seems that acting comes naturally for her. As
a matter of fact, she's John Turturro's cousin.
All in all, True Love isn't what I describe as "romantic" but rather a depressing movie about the harsh reality
of marriage.
True Romance (1993)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/04, 11/13
11/13:
True Romance is a trashy popcorn flick made specifically for IMDb/Tarantino fanboys who are incapable
of discerning the difference between reality and fantasy.
Observe Alabama looking fine after she's savagely beaten up. Nevertheless, everybody is in top form,
and they do their part equally well. Reading off the star-studded opening screen credits, there are two notable names:
Samuel L. Jackson and Val Kilmer. The former is in the picture for like ten seconds while the latter is practically missing.
All in all, True Romance has the moxie but is an all-around dumb movie.
Truly, Madly, Deeply (1990)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/16
5/16:
Truly, Madly, Deeply is a truly, madly, and deeply boring movie.
The plot never goes anywhere. I'm constantly reminded of Ghost which is a far superior film.
Alan Rickman is stiff and uninteresting. Worst of all, he has no witty lines. His co-star Juliet Stevenson is banking on her
cute looks just to get by. Well, it doesn't work for me.
All in all, Truly, Madly, Deeply is another proof why Anthony Minghella, who did mere six films including
The English Patient, was an overrated director.
The Truman Show (1998)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
The Truman Show is a longtime overrated film.
It has nothing on EDtv whose concept was ingenious and extremely funny and could
happen for real. You see, Ed Pekurny signed a contract to have his life televised 24/7 while Truman Burbank was
basically kidnapped and placed in a bubble which is 100% illegal. Forget the philosophical questions posed by
The Truman Show...they are all ridiculous and coffee-table-like. Plus, barely anyone would watch it;
otherwise, a channel of that nature would've existed today.
Jim Carrey has always been a terrible actor, especially in drama. He has no range and belongs in comedies,
so he can do the stupid physical stuff and make faces. Then again, I've never thought of him as funny. Ed Harris
plays a pretentious jackass who doesn't understand that the same thing can be accomplished if he has a
family of his own; really, what he's out for is money, that's it. The rest of the cast is forgettable if
not annoying.
What makes The Truman Show so boring is that it keeps going in circles with the protagonist trying
to find a way out for days and days. But why now? What about five years ago? Ten years ago? When mistakes
happen on the set, they aren't possible because the bubble is already self-contained, and therefore, all of
the kinks have been worked out. Plus, if there are over 5,000 cameras everywhere, each one of them can be
easily identified.
If Truman really, really wants a way out, he should've killed a few people. That way, the whole thing will
immediately cease, and nobody will want to work there. Oh, Truman gets arrested and be tried for the
murders? That will never happen because Truman has no concept of the U.S. laws and isn't aware of the country's
existence, either. This means he'll be tried inside the bubble, but there's no courtroom because laws haven't
been created or put on paper. Then, there's the illegality of trapping him inside a bubble in the form of slavery.
So...epic fail!
All in all, given the same concept, EDtv offers a much more satisfying viewing
experience than The Truman Show.
The Truth About Cats and Dogs (1996)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/06
11/06:
My rating for The Truth About Cats and Dogs would've been higher if not for the major flaws.
I don't think the filmmakers spent enough time developing the plot. The chemistry among Janeane Garofalo, Uma Thurman, and
Ben Chaplin is terrific although it's been one-dimensional.
Instead of the current direction, it should've focused more on the background and depth of the characters. The
ending is also a disappointment, setting me up for an unnecessary drag in the final twenty minutes.
All in all, I like The Truth About Cats and Dogs in parts, but it's been underdeveloped most of the time.
Tucker: The Man and His Dream (1988)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
Tucker: The Man and His Dream is among a handful of best pictures directed by Francis Ford Coppola.
I love the charm and the personality it brings to the table. It's the wonderful cinematography that makes the look
and feel of the 40's come alive. Of course, the presence of the cars, especially the color and design, goes a long way.
Jeff Bridges is outstanding as Preston Tucker, an idealist can-do. He makes everybody around him better. Kudos to
Martin Landau for transforming his character into a believer. I like the depiction of Tucker's struggles with the higher-ups
to see his dreams through while having a smile on his face. It can be depressing to watch, but there are plenty of lessons
taken from his resolve.
All in all, Tucker: The Man and His Dream is a magical film that speaks well to the American spirit.
Tunes of Glory (1960)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/14
2/14:
Tunes of Glory is a complicated British picture about the battle of personalities between two leaders of the Scottish
Highland Regiment.
One is merry and easygoing in a boys' club way, and the other is a martinet with emphasis on martial punctiliousness. The
psychological game unfolds in terms of feelings, reactions, and adherence to routines. In the long run, the easygoing leader
outlasts the other, forcing me to not agree with his ways by finding them characteristically unmilitaristic. Of course,
he pays the price after being overcome by guilt and shame.
Although it ends somewhat early, Tunes of Glory is a wonderful film with superlative acting performances,
resplendent cinematography, and adroit screenplay. Alec Guinness shows why he was an outstanding actor of the time, and John
Mills is equally on his level, too. By the way, many of the actors are familiar because they were either
in The Great Escape or
The Bridge on the River Kwai.
All in all, Tunes of Glory is a well-crafted military picture from a psychological standpoint.
Turbulence (1997)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/15
2/15:
Think of Turbulence as Twenty Quick Personality Changes in Ray Liotta.
Ray starts out happy and merry-going. After getting arrested, he expresses befuddlement and proclaims innocence.
During his stay in the holding cell, he's adamant of being framed by a detective.
Transported on an airplane that's filled with Christmas decorations(!) to Los Angeles, Ray meets a stewardess
(who's awfully played by Lauren Holly) and turns into a charmer. To raise it up a notch, he becomes a smooth, glib talker.
As soon as his fellow inmate turns the tables on the law enforcement officials and takes ahold of the hostages, Ray switches
to a confident, cool negotiator to take charge of the situation.
While the plane is free of obstacles and contains only innocent bystanders, Ray starts going crazy and acting like he's
Jack Torrance from The Shining. I'm only surprised after axing down the cockpit door, he didn't yell,
"Heeeere's Raaaaay!" He gets angry and yells at the detective through the phone, spelling out what he'll do with the plane.
Later, feeling the Christmas spirit, Ray sings a song from
It's a Wonderful Life. Lust with the idea of raping the
stewardess he had met earlier, he acts aggressively by attempting to play mind games and subsequently overpowers
her. Losing the battle with her and thinking the plane will blow up and crash into the middle of the Pacific Ocean,
Ray becomes despondent after learning it won't happen and loses his faith.
Because the plane didn't crash for good, the ending is a disappointment. Worse, it should've been shot down earlier over the
mountains instead of the Pacific Ocean. Strangely, the helpful captain (which is a low point for Ben Cross of
Chariots of Fire fame) guides the stewardess through the landing procedure when he
can do it from the flight tower.
After the rest of the passengers have been rounded up and stored away in the back, it's comical to see how forgotten they've
been during the rest of the trip. To make the film somewhat similar to
The Poseideon Adventure, the plane is momentarily
inverted for no reason. There are two lines that helped me give it a deserved rating of '4'. One is "I think it's a Ford,"
and the other is "She's a flight attendant!" upon hearing the word "stewardess." It's conceivable Ray Liotta was so
desperate for money that he took any script that came his way.
All in all, reminding me of Airport 1975, I think of Turbulence as a comedy
picture, and the tagline should be instead: "IT'S A FUNNY RIDE."
The Tuskegee Airmen (1995)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
9/14, 8/20
9/14:
The Tuskegee Airmen is the black version of Memphis Belle, and both films are
similar in many ways.
Of course, it had to be made because of the historical importance. During WWII, there existed a U.S. fighter squadron
of black pilots, trained in Tuskegee, Alabama, that fought overseas and was one of the most decorated in military
history despite the overwhelming racism at that time.
The adversity these men went through is nothing short of inspiring. What I don't like is the high amount of profanity because
the film should be shown in schools. Cut that down, and it'll make for a proper showing.
Meanwhile, I love Laurence Fishburne, and he's fantastic in the leading role of Hannibal Lee. It's interesting to see him and
Mekhi Phifer in the same film because both played Othello in separate films. Cuba Gooding, Jr., and Courtney B. Vance, among
others, do a good job and make a big impact. Easily the best performance of the show goes to Andre Braugher as Colonel
Benjamin O. Davis, Jr., one of the most well-known black American military officers. If Andre Braugher looks familiar, it's because
he played Searles in Glory.
All in all, the individuals of the famed Tuskegee Airmen overcame long odds to be first black combat aviators in military
history, and I salute them.
8/20:
Taking place during WWII, The Tuskegee Airmen is Top Gun meets
Glory and tells a story that people don't usually read in history books during high school.
Among the best of the best the black race had to offer, the famed Tuskegee Airmen were the first military aviators in the
United States Armed Forces. The amount of racism and hurdles they had to endure is nothing compared to what
minorities go through today which is mostly fake.
Their monumental achievement is staggering and still reverberates today. From 1941 to 1946, flying through a total of 1,578
combat missions, 992 pilots were trained in Tuskegee, Alabama, with 355 of them deployed overseas and 84 lost their lives.
The Tuskegee Airmen may not be accurate in the depiction of the actual events but does well enough to give a
general idea. Notwithstanding, it's a well-done war picture that goes from training to dry runs to live combat
while highlighting what the blacks had to go through to get their wings and, finally, respect.
I love the cast, and it's Andre Braugher who gives the strongest performance as Colonel Benjamin O. Davis, Jr. His father was
famous for being the first black general in the United States Army. Laurence Fishburne, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Courtney B. Vance,
and Christopher McDonald are outstanding. I've forgotten the first two were father and son in
Boyz n the Hood.
Another nice aspect is the variety of planes. There are different types used such as North American T-6 Texans and P-51
Mustangs. Sometimes, I'm reminded of the other great film called Memphis Belle, and the
comparisons are difficult to avoid. Even John Lithgow is in both of them; he's super mean in one and super nice in the other.
All in all, Glory and The Tuskegee Airmen are the two best films about blacks going
to war in different capacities for the first time.
Twelve O'Clock High (1949)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
Twelve O'Clock High is an okay war picture.
People have said Gregory Peck gave the best performance of his career. He's merely fine with nice display of leadership.
Some viewers had pointed out he was too cold-hearted, but I didn't have an issue with him and loved it when he said during a
speech that his men should consider themselves already dead. In reality, they needed their asses kicked by going to work
which is something that's sorely missing nowadays.
Dean Jagger won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. If you really don't know who that is and I don't blame you there, he
plays Harvey Stovall. And if you still don't know who that is, he's Gregory Peck's secretary/adjutant. And if you still
don't know who that is, he's the bald guy who started off the film and ended it riding on a bicycle. Hence, it's hard to
believe the Academy thought he was so good to merit the award over Ralph Richardson of
The Heiress.
The strange part is there's a lot of dialogue but little action which appears in the final half-hour. When it does, it's
just bland actual war footage. That being said, I prefer Memphis Belle for striking
a perfect balance while showing how it is for a bomber crew during WWII. However, many who served back then found
Twelve O'Clock High very accurate, so I'll have to defer to them.
All in all, Twelve O'Clock High is watchable but doesn't stand out for the most part.
Twenty Minutes of Love (1914)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
More like Ten Minutes of Crap, nothing happens.
There are a lot of people being pushing around and falling down with tons of physical work in between. In other words, it's
a nothing picture.
I thought Charlie Chaplin was supposed to be this comedy genius. Was he retarded after all? Ah, I'm being offensive.
Let me correct what I said: Charlie Chaplin had a mental defect. The nice translation of it is: "he's a fuckso."
All in all, it's difficult to take any more of Ten Minutes of Crap.
Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
2/15
2/15:
The main difference between Twilight Zone: The Movie and the famous TV show is color.
Other than that, the storytelling style remains the same but isn't in the same league as Rod Serling's stuff. The pace is
more or less slow with a point that's subtly made.
Of all the vignettes, the prologue, by having the right pace and amount of fun with Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks, is
the best until the terrible, idiotic, and cheap finish which is a foreboding of what's to come. A couple of other
stories have monsters in them which also cheapens The Twilight Zone experience because I don't remember them
being featured in most episodes.
All in all, Twilight Zone: The Movie is much better than either Creepshow or its sequel with the exception of
one vignette "The Raft."
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/14
9/14:
Why did David Lynch have to make a movie for what's considered to be one of the worst TV shows ever?
Was he blind to the fact that the audience had dwindled in numbers during the two seasons? Upon completing Twin
Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, David Lynch had planned to do more sequels, but the film tanked so badly at the box office
that the whole thing had finally ceased for good.
So, how awful was it? Chris Isaak's and Kiefer Sutherland's characters started off the ball in the first thirty minutes to make
things interesting. Then, all of a sudden, they disappeared with no further explanation, and I was right back to Season Two
which was filled with supreme ineptitude and pointlessness.
Many of the familiar but useless characters are thankfully absent, leaving Sheryl Lee to chew most of the wood. However,
Laura's spiralling downfall has led me to not feel sorry for her the least bit. In fact, a lot of what Sheryl Lee was doing
seems like an audition for future Playboy work.
All in all, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me is a massive failure that resolves nothing whatsoever, ending
my sorriest time with the entire franchise.
Twins (1988)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/06
7/06:
I thought Twins was going to be an entertaining family film, but it turns out to be the exact opposite.
The high level of profanity is concerning. There's not much of a plot going on. Rather, it's all action and nothing else. The movie
isn't funny, either, although the sight of Arnold Schwarzenegger comparing his biceps against Sylvester Stallone's after seeing
Rambo III poster is amusing which is true anyway.
I've got two questions. How could the guardian not know what happened if he was involved with the top-secret
project right from the start? Why would Arnold be interested in a fairly okay-looking woman who happened to smoke?
All in all, Twins is disappointing given the collective star power of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito.
Twisted (2004)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
Having been done before many times, Twisted is formulaic and derivative and has a lousy direction.
I hate Ashley Judd's character because of her bothersome habits. She tries hard to look cute and adorable, wants
to bed everybody she sees, and tends to drink, drink, and drink. Andy Garcia is no better because of his constant need to be so
damned sly. Samuel L. Jackson does the same thing all over again from Pulp Fiction.
The story...oy vey! Where's the Internal Affairs? The sight of the serial killer is laughable; he's easily
figured out early. The trick is not paying attention to the obvious clues.
All in all, Twisted doesn't work as anything.
Twister (1996)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
12/07, 8/21
12/07:
The very first film to be released on DVD in the United States, Twister is on-the-edge-of-your-seat
entertainment but is, of course, unrealistic.
The acting isn't bad and manages to stay on an even keel with the special effects that are both outstanding and
not-so-outstanding. Philip Seymour Hoffman is primarily responsible for setting the tone of the film. Without him, it
won't have been fun with everybody else.
Given the debris that's constantly flying around, I find it hard to believe nobody was hit by them. Worse, there's no way
anyone can outrun a tornado, especially when it's an F-5. Regardless, I've had a good time, and it's often
dramatic. The coolest scene is the cow flying in the air.
All in all, inaccuracies or not, Twister is one of the most thrilling action pictures I've seen.
8/21:
For an action-adventure disaster picture, Twister is dramatic, but most of it has been unbelievable.
The combination of great acting and terrific, if a bit fake, special effects (which lost out to Independence Day for
Best Visual Effects Oscar which is understandable) is what makes this fast and entirely watchable. I have to say
Philip Seymour Hoffman is the best of the cast, mainly for setting the tone.
When I say the film is "unbelievable," what's happening doesn't make sense. Now, let's think about this: if the
sensors are released to track the mostly useless technical information, how exactly is an advance warning system developed?
As simple as the concept may be, how come nobody had accomplished it in twenty-five years since the film was released? Yeah,
they tried the same thing in 1984, but it never worked. Today, tornado prediction is still not a reality.
Of course, Twister is famous for one scene: the flying cow. It's cool to see that, and it does happen in real life. So
are the scenes when tornadoes are happening and trucks are riding closely alongside them. Yet I don't get it. Why aren't they
lifted up in the air? Trucks aren't that tough or invulnerable as people believe them to be.
So much debris is flying in the air, everybody's eyes are open yet are never hit. It's impossible. They should be wearing
goggles. Many of the survival tactics shown on the film are either questionable or plain wrong. Houses directly hit by an F-5
tornado are almost always completely wrecked, and a high percentage of people will die.
By the way, when Jo's father was killed after mentioning the tornado might be an F-5, it was 1969, but the Fujita
Scale wasn't developed until two years later. Nobody can classify a tornado by looking at it until a damage survey has been
conducted afterwards. And absolutely nobody can predict for sure whether or not a tornado will appear the next day.
Jami Gertz was named the worst supporting actress. I disagree. In fact, she's a perfect representative of what the audience is
feeling. I don't blame her for abruptly leaving the scene because this tornado-chasing fetish is weird.
Also, it's surprising to see two now-dead actors (Bill Paxton and Philip Seymour Hoffman) while they were relatively young,
and the movie isn't even that old.
All in all, I don't care about the negatives because Twister is a damn fine movie.
Two Bits (1995)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/16
5/16:
Don't be fooled by the expectation-raising praise on the poster of Two Bits: "AL PACINO IS PURE PERFECTION!"
He's just okay but nothing special. Al Pacino has a good scene when he told the story of Guendolina. At one point,
he had a funny response to the boy's question. Anyway, it wasn't a good idea to cast Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio;
her pairing up with Al Pacino brings back too many memories from Scarface. They should've
gotten somebody else to keep away the incestuous thoughts.
Two Bits is a coming-of-age picture about a boy who learns life lessons during the day while knowing
his grandfather is destined to die the same night. It's the only film credit of Jerry Barone's career, and he does a good job
for a child actor by never annoying me for a second.
All in all, Two Bits is fairly interesting, but you're better off seeing James Foley's other
film with Al Pacino at his best: Glengarry Glen Ross.
Two for the Money (2005)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/07
4/07:
Having good intentions, Two for the Money is like trying to swallow a pill that refuses to go down my throat.
It's mostly due to D.J. Caruso's x-double minus direction. Devoid of his charismatic personality, Matthew McConaughey gives a
wooden performance, preferring to show off his body. On a second thought, maybe it's what the role called for. If that's so,
then they made a mistake of casting him.
Al Pacino delivers his usual, and it's nothing new: just the same redundancy. Didn't I see this already in
Devil's Advocate? Any Given Sunday?
The Recruit? Heat?
Donnie Brasco? Whoo...that's a lot
of recycled acting there. On the other hand, Rene Russo pulls through well this time, but it doesn't matter.
All in all, filled with uninspired performances and direction, Two for the Money fails to explain how the
lead character knows all the stuff without bothering to watch the games.
Two If by Sea (1996)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/06
11/06:
Two If by Sea, which is a stupid title by the way, is awful.
Sandra Bullock proves, again and again and again, that she sucks. It's because she doesn't know how to get into her character
which is equivalent to taking a final exam without ever showing up for class the whole semester.
As usual, Denis Leary scores because he's a funny guy. The way he curses is amusing; he should have a movie of his own
that contains nonstop profanity. What else? Oh, yeah...lose the four fat morons and the black FBI guy. They add nothing to the
movie.
All in all, there's no point in watching Two If by Sea.
The Two Jakes (1990)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/03, 1/09, 5/21
1/09:
I've seen Chinatown many times but have a hard time mustering enough motivation to
watch The Two Jakes, a truly disastrous sequel.
Surely, the mood is as somber as it can be to invoke the melancholic feeling of what happened at the end of
Chinatown.
Yet The Two Jakes falls apart because of the incomprehensible plot. Where's the mystery? What revelations are being
made? There's nothing going on but two and half hours of fucking around.
Another disappointment is Jack Nicholson's direction. Every time I see him, he's not so much of Jake Gittes but Jack Nicholson.
Spotting Katherine Mulwray is so immediate from the first moment I saw Meg Tilly that it's a surprise Gittes didn't figure
this out. Some detective he is.
The pace is sometimes fast and then slow, thus failing to draw me into the story as it unfolds.
Often, the characters look and act modern for the 40's setting. The storyline, most especially the mystery, is
nonexistent; I only wondered why I was bothering with the film in the first place.
All in all, what The Two Jakes was missing is Roman Polanski, Robert Towne, and Jack Nicholson all rolled into one.
5/21:
It would be appropriate for the movie poster to announce the following: "Forget The Two Jakes. It's no
Chinatown."
What a massive disappointment the sequel is. The Two Jakes is an preponderous marathon with a terrible, nonexistent plot.
It's obvious the guy killed his partner from the get-go, and I have to watch everybody trying to figure out what happened
for more than two hours? That makes no sense. Neither is Harvey Keitel's disappearance for a long, long stretch of time. The
casting of David Keith as Loach is unbelievable because he looks young.
I don't recognize Jake Gittes in Jack Nicholson. What the heck happened? This is lazy acting on his part. The blame can
instead be laid squarely on Robert Towne for delivering a craptacular script. It's like either he forgot
Chinatown or
somebody else wrote the whole thing. Jack Nicholson admitted that the screenplay was 80% ready and that he had to rewrite a lot
of parts. Whatever...the language is just not there.
Speaking of detective work, I saw The Two Jakes for the first time during the 90's and knew immediately Kitty
Berman was Katharine Mulwray. Yet Jake couldn't figure it out for days? That's crazy. By the way, the real color of Meg
Tilly's eyes is dark brown, and she being fitted with bright blue contact lenses is distracting. Even the dye on
Katharine's hair looks artificial and cheap. Her mother had more class.
All in all, The Two Jakes is a disaster.
Two Moon Junction (1988)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
3/09, 2/22
3/09:
Zalman King is at it again: obsessed with erotica and women who have a sexual awakening for the first time.
Then again, Two Moon Junction is an enjoyable movie that is set in the decadent South. The first thirty minutes
did fail to get my attention because of the trashy romance novel feel. It woudn't get better by the time a fight erupted
during one night at the carnival.
Finally, things started to improve once there was an intense focus on the chemistry between Perry and April DeLongpre. The
steamy atmosphere is superb, nearly encroaching Body Heat territory. It has a nice ending as well.
I'm surprised to see the setting taking place in Alabama when I thought it was Georgia. Louise Fletcher is good, but her
role should've been expanded more. At the beginning, I kept asking, "Where's Mickey Rourke?" and then forgot about
about him an half hour later when Richard Tyson started to take over.
All in all, it's best not to take Two Moon Junction seriously but rather think of it as a guilty pleasure.
2/22:
Zalman King was the high priest of erotic filmmaking.
His fingerprints all over Two Moon Junction are unmistakable. It's the best stuff for both Sherilyn Fenn and Richard
Tyson who's the definition of a beefcake. They'll never do better for the rest of their careers. Two Oscar winners, Louise
Fletcher and Burl Ives, play along, but only the former has a significant role while it's the final, albeit weak, performance
of the latter's career.
The film's achilles heel is the dialogue. It can be bad at times, especially the lines that Richard Tyson is supplied with.
Midway, the flow gets off track when Kristy McNichol as Patti Jean draws attention to herself. After she's cut out, the
focus is back on the two lead stars, serving up plenty of sex against the Antebellum South backdrop.
Being close to Lake Consequence more than anything, Two Moon Junction is about a
woman's sexual awakening, not that April DeLongpre needs any help in this department. It's mainly the question of being on the
right wavelength, and Perry happens to meet her satisfaction despite how good-looking Chad Douglas Fairchild is. It's been too
planned for her as dictated by the two power families, so she wants some spontaneity. The ending showing April's ring says she got
married but will secretly have her dish on the side.
All in all, Zalman King excelled in an area that nobody has ever mastered: making the sexy scenes work.
Two of a Kind (1951)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
3/24
3/24:
Two of a Kind is a solid picture about an inheritance scam but is light on the film noir side.
Of D.O.A. fame, Edmund O'Brien isn't bad, but his acting is strange. Never the one to try
hard, he's just being himself. Lizabeth Scott is passable while Terry Moore plays a weird character who's liable to be
raped or physically beat should she meet the wrong person one day.
The story is easy to follow, but I don't like the outcome. So, the old man is wise to the scheme but decides to let everybody
off the hook? Then, he's cool with Mike Farrell pretending to be a long-lost son to his wife? Yeah...okay. On the other
hand, there's an extreme moment when Mike had his pinkie crushed within the car door before the amputation could take place.
All in all, Two of a Kind will do but has several uneasy elements.
Two-Minute Warning (1976)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
12/15
12/15:
The concept of using Super Bowl Sunday for an assassination plot came first in Two-Minute Warning before
Black Sunday showed up.
Both are equally good, but I think Two-Minute Warning is more suspenseful. What I like is the Charles Whitman
type of character who remains nameless and faceless. That being said, it's not important to learn of the sniper's motives
but to see how the police handle the matter. Therefore, that's the overriding theme of the film.
Charlton Heston, John Cassavetes, Beau Bridges, and Martin Balsam do enough to
keep the pace going, but it's the story that takes the cake which can happen in real life.
All in all, Two-Minute Warning is a solid "what if?" thriller.
Tyson (1995)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/14
11/14:
Mike Tyson was a tour de force of the 80's and 90's boxing scene.
His rise was spectacularly meteoric, and so was his fall, thanks to his ever-idiotic behavior that continues to baffle people
to this day.
A little telefilm was released on HBO during the mid 90's called Tyson, chronicling his life. I'm wondering: what's
the significance of this decision? Forgive me if I didn't shed a tear after seeing the trials and tribulations of Mike
Tyson's life.
The main problem is the lack of analysis and character depth. Truth be told, most of the story was already
known, and I had seen most of his fights. Hence, it's nothing new.
All in all, Tyson is more like Raging Bullshit.