S List of Movie Reviews
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S*P*Y*S (1974)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
10/15
10/15:
Four years after appearing in one of the greatest comedies ever, Donald Sutherland and Elliott Gould paired up again
for S*P*Y*S.
This time, the results are dismal. In short, it's no M*A*S*H. Nothing works. The story is
impossible to follow, and there are virtually no laughs. Irvin Kershner is an idiot when it comes to directing films. He
just finds a way to convert them into flushable toilet material.
Forget Donald Sutherland and Elliott Gould. They both suck. The former has had a great Hollywood career, but the
latter has zero appeal and is a miserable pain in the ass which explains why he fell off the map not long after.
All in all, you're better off watching M*A*S*H for the 4,077th time.
S.O.B. (1981)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/24
3/24:
I thought I would check out S.O.B. which is based on Blake Edwards' experience with his failed film
Darling Lili.
Well, it's neither funny nor interesting. Maybe the director is the problem after all. Oddly, they said if
Julie Andrews bared herself, the gross might shoot up to 100 or 200 million dollars. So she did for S.O.B., yet
it ultimately
grossed $14.8 million against a budget of $12 million. In other words, nobody was interested in seeing her naked.
The only part that goes anywhere is the party sequence. Then again, Blake Edwards did direct
The Party with Peter Sellers.
That's it. Nothing else works. The final thirty minutes sucks. Tragically, it's the final film for William Holden who
eventually passed out drunk, hit his head on a table, died, and wasn't discovered for days.
All in all, S.O.B. is a forgotten film because it's bad.
S.W.A.T. (2003)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
4/25
4/25:
I want you to imagine a wet sponge that's being squeezed and then some more.
That's all of the personality drained out from S.W.A.T. What a boring movie with so many complicated
set-ups that will never happen in a million of years. A lot of times, it feels like CGI took over, especially
during the jet landing scene to get the French terrorist. The last thirty minutes is absurd; aren't there supposed
to be more than one team, especially when it comes to handling the aftermath?
S.W.A.T. may star Samuel L. Jackson and Colin Farrell, but they rarely make any effect. The filmmakers
might as well replace them with a couple of nobodies, and it will still keep humming along. Having Michelle
Rodriguez aboard is always an automatic F anytime. She sucks in acting and is just a wannabe "tough" tomboy.
The same can be said for Olivier Martinez. LL Cool J is at best a failed TV star.
How about the scene at the beginning? Impossible. There were two guys in the open shooting at everybody. All the
cops had to do was snipe them. Game, set, match. And there was an idiot cop running by himself without any cover
before being predictably shot down. I'm pretty sure anyone can hear a helicopter, even if it's nearing the roof of a
building where the bad guys inside have kept their eyes and ears peeled for intruders. How about the chance
of killing any hostage, too, before the cops started to come?
All in all, a dull pencil is more entertaining than S.W.A.T.
Saboteur (1942)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/09
2/09:
True to form, Alfred Hitchcock brings redundancy to Saboteur.
How many times have I seen the same formula? Worse, how much more unoriginal can the movie be? In many ways, it's
The 39 Steps in disguise. All I could think of is "tell me something new, please." When the
movie ends, it ends. There's too much sympathy for the archvillain, and I don't think he was punished after all.
Sure, there are good moments here and there, but the movie is slow and talky with choppy editing. A
glaring example of what I mean is when Barry Kane went up the Statue of Liberty, which is a nice Hitchcock touch
predating North by Northwest and Vertigo, and came
out of her hand carrying the torch to look for his man. The next thing I know, Barry has a gun and stands besides him.
All in all, Alfred Hitchcock should've learned how to be original for a change.
Sabrina (1954)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/12
7/12:
Gosh, is $abrina the original gold digger?
Oh, David is adorable (but he's old!)...and he has money.
Oh, wait a minute...he might not be stable.
Oh, Linus...I like that name, and he's adorable (but he's way, way too old...old enough to be my grandfather). But he has
money, too! Ah, my life is complete and, more importantly, flush with money!
That's $abrina for you. It's repulsive and a gigantic waste of my time. I hate the movie, and I hate Audrey
Hepburn. What a fucking fool she is. Dump the thin bitch in the Atlantic Ocean, and just sail away!
All in all, Humphrey Bogart said it the best when he thought Audrey Hepburn "was untalented and couldn't act."
Safe (1995)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
11/15
11/15:
I like the concept of environmental allergies in Safe, but I dislike how Todd Haynes directed it
when he should've kept everything as simple as possible.
The most common environmental allergies are dust mites, mold, animal dander, grass, ragweed, and tree pollen.
They've been increasing over the years, and a lot of people suffer from them, hence the rise of Claritin, air
purifiers, air conditioners, and vacuum cleaners, among others. So, it's rare to see a film tackle this
topic.
Meanwhile, I hate Julianne Moore. Her character is too frigid and bitchy for me to care about. Anyone else
could've done the same job. On the other hand, not much happens in the film. It's too slow-paced to get anything
going, and the director is grasping at straws to make the topic more interesting than it actually is. Hence,
he should've shortened the running length by at least 30 minutes.
All in all, Safe sounds great in concept, but it eventually goes nowhere.
Sahara (1943)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/16
5/16:
Sahara is one of the more interesting WWII pictures that takes place in the desert of North Africa.
Humphrey Bogart proved he could play any role in any genre. He's fun to watch. The story is interesting, but it's Rudolph Maté's
cinematography of the Sahara Desert that gets my attention the most. It's beautifully shot. Of course, he had done
the same thing for many films, receiving five Oscar nominations in total including this one.
All in all, Sahara can be slow at times, but how it looks has kept me motivated to finish it in one sitting.
Sahara (2005)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/08
7/08:
Not a Matthew McConaughey picture, Sahara is too dumb.
It manages to rip off many films such as the Indiana Jones trilogy,
Lawrence of Arabia, Professione: reporter,
Spies Like Us, Rambo: First Blood Part II,
The Mummy, GoldenEye, and
The World Is Not Enough.
Matthew McConaughey and Steve Zahn passing for former Navy SEALs is hardly more believable than the existence of the Tooth
Fairy. The Sahara Desert is the hottest, harshest, and most desolate environment in the world, and the filmmakers
expect me to believe that these two guys can be there for the weekend with no problems?
Neither is the idea of them being handcuffed to a 150-pound steel flatbed and walking with it across hundreds of miles of sand
with no food or water. On the way, they miraculously discover a trashed plane and an ironclad battleship and manage to get them to
work. The most ridiculous part is the gold had been inside the battleship for at least 150 years! What the fuck have
the Africans been doing the entire time...picking their noses?
While Matthew McConaughey's character fights some ninja, he touches metal objects. Now, given the setting is the Sahara,
it has to be at least 150 degrees Fahrenheit, thus burning the skin off anybody just like how it hurts like hell
when you touch the steering wheel of a hot car. Meanwhile, my favorite moment is when General Kazim nonchalantly said,
"Nobody cares about Africa." Talk about 200,000 years of human history blown away in one fell swoop.
All in all, Sahara is for little kids.
Sailor of the King (1953)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
What a mistake the first fifteen minutes has been for Sailor of the King aka Single-Handed.
Because of the ending, my time is wasted by watching Richard Saville (Michael Rennie) trying to force a marriage
upon Lucinda Bentley (Wendy Hiller) who wisely decided to reject him at the end of the day because, simply put,
they had only met for hours. So, I'm forced to think this would play a big role down the road only that it never
did.
Years pass. Now, there's a new war going on, and Saville lusts for some battle action to do some good despite the
ship running out of fuel. He ignores the reality of that and goes straight for a German raider and gets what he
wants with no thought for the safety of his men.
At the same time, Andrew Brown, played by the mostly shirtless Jeffrey Hunter, wishes to be a hero
for the day and does the stupid by escaping the raider to be on the rocks and picking off the Germans
with two different rifles (obviously a mistake because he was shown taking one) but is ultimately done in by
the sun while having little water and no food on hand. If I were him, I wouldn't have
bothered with the bright-colored raft that's conveniently left on the raider. The Germans can spot it
easily while working on the repairs.
As all of this were happening, I thought of several things. Why not the Germans keep shooting at the rocks? If
their ammunition is running low at that point or they need to preserve it, okay...fine. Then, why not pick up
the anchor and move away from the spot to let the men get up and go inside? After that, they can go back in
but this time turn the ship around to resume with the repairs before setting out to the ocean. What does it
matter if the guy is still out there? He'll die anyway. Earlier, it's stupid of the Germans to leave the
two prisoners unshackled and free to roam around.
Back to the ending, had Saville found out that Brown was his son after all, that would've completed the
connection to the beginning. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, the filmmakers did nothing about it while
deciding to have an alternate ending with Brown dead and his mother attending the posthumous ceremony
(which is more realistic because there's absolutely no way that Brown would've survived the anti-aircraft
shellacking) with zero acknowledgment that it's Saville's kid. Therefore, the first fifteen minutes
shouldn't have been included. Is it because Saville and Bentley had a one-night stand which
resulted in a bastard by the name of Andrew just to satisfy British morals of the day?
All in all, Sailor of the King is a prime example of how failing to make a connection between the
beginning and the ending can wreck a film.
The Saint (1997)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/21
10/21:
Val Kilmer changes his disguise more times than his underwear in The Saint, yet I still see him as Val and I'm
already bored.
The best part is the chemistry between him and Elisabeth Shue. Given how much the action sucks, the
filmmakers should've done a romance picture instead. At the same time, the plot doesn't make sense.
Back then, I didn't understand what "cold fusion" meant; now I know: it's using the same amount of energy at room temperature
(cold) instead of immense pressure at a temperature of millions of degrees (fusion). However, I think
the world is doing fine, and it's called "power plants."
At one point, Simon pretends to be a maid and overhears conversations between Ivan Tretiak and his men. The next thing I know, he
makes a surprise visit to Emma at the embassy. Earlier, he was freezing to death with a messed-up hair. Then, he's shown
running around in a massive maze of underground tunnels filled with water, and his hair looked perfect. By the way, how
did the female freedom fighter know that Simon and Emma were coming?
All in all, The Saint is below average.
Salem's Lot (1979)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/04, 12/08
12/08:
As pretty as it can be, especially by made-for-TV standards, Salem's Lot is hampered by the slow buildup of
characters before it goes anywhere.
Running at an amazing length of three hours, it's typical of vampire flicks, being more like
The Amityville Horror meets Nosferatu.
David Soul's character was asked if a house could be inherently evil. Since it was a vampire doing the evil work,
that should answer the question.
The performances are okay, but it's Tobe Hooper's incompetent direction that bogs down the film. No wonder
why Steven Spielberg actually directed Poltergeist. By the time the vampire finally appeared,
I was like, "Wow...it took so long" At least an hour should be cut out to speed up the pace.
By the way, I've always thought Geoffrey Lewis bore an uncanny resemblance to Elisha Cook, Jr., and it's cool to see them
appear in the same movie. But they don't share a scene.
All in all, instead of terror, Salem's Lot is the ultimate in boredom.
Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma (1975)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/13
12/13:
First of all, this question needs to be answered: why did I choose to see Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma
(Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom) when I knew what I was getting into?
It's because I'm a cinéaste. The next question is: what rating does it deserve? It'll be easy to
give Salò an automatic '1'. Believe me, I was already there, but I have to be objective as much as possible.
It's not what I call a good film. But it isn't terrible, either. No matter what, Salò is by no means entertaining. I
feel like Pier Paolo Pasolini proved his point albeit in a dull manner. It's like one can't ever fully satisfy himself, no
matter how much has been consumed. The torturing, the raping, the feces-eating, the killing, the urinating...oh, the list goes
on and on...to no end.
Watching the film during the 21st century seems to help a great deal because I'm sure it was shocking back then. But now, I'll
say I'm surprised Salò got made without much of censorship. Still, it's an intrepid move by the filmmakers considering
the controversial content. As sickening as the scenes are, I have to point out there are also "sickening"
scenes in popular mainstream films that have been accepted by the public. Here lies in the difference between the
looks of them and how they're shown.
All in all, Salò is tough to sit through, but I've tried to put it into perspective.
The Salton Sea (2002)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
10/21
10/21:
Thanks to Val Kilmer, I've come to the right place for a good movie: The Salton Sea.
At first, it appeared pretentious with Val Kilmer playing the trumpet. It had been done before with Christopher Walken
during The Prophecy films, and the results were bad. Slowly, the plot started to develop
in terms of coherence with Val Kilmer taking over the reins when I thought he was simply out of it.
Hence, it's a strong performance by Val Kilmer despite the ugly-looking tattoos on his back and arms. There
are plenty of big names in the cast, and they've helped to strengthen the film's quality. I like the ending as well.
The best supporting work comes from Peter Sarsgaard as Jimmy. He's an actor I hadn't noticed until now. Because of
Vincent D'Onofrio's ridiculous performance, The Salton Sea seems to be more about eccentric characters than anything,
but the constant focus on Val Kilmer counteracts it.
The consensus of many viewers has been decidedly mixed when it comes to the portrayal of meth addicts aka tweakers.
They pointed out Val Kilmer had too much meat on him, but I say he played a controlled user. Adam Goldberg, Shalom Harlow, and
others are closer to the truth. Either way, I'm ambivalent and don't care as long as the movie is watchable.
All in all, Val Kilmer comes back from the dead in The Salton Sea to show what a superlative actor he is.
Salvador (1986)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
5/16, 6/24
5/16:
Salvador is another great, albeit unknown, Oliver Stone picture with a fantastic James Woods performance.
Having jumpstarted Oliver Stone's directing career, it's quite similar to
The Killing Fields but, this time, features a protagonist with many character flaws.
The next six films in his oeuvre are Platoon, Wall Street,
Talk Radio, Born on the Fourth of July,
The Doors, and JFK. Talk about a run of greatness.
If I have to pinpoint a scene that probably nailed it for an Oscar nomination for James Woods, it's his confession to the
priest. Although he has the looks of a son of a bitch, James Woods is always an entertaining and charismatic individual whenever
the attention is on him.
No person in his right mind will go to a war-torn country if he has another choice, but that's what Richard Boyle did during
the early 80's by traveling to El Salvador on the cusp of a civil war, resulting in mass murder of the populace. Today, El
Salvador has one of the highest murder rates in the world.
All in all, Salvador, like The Killing Fields, is an intense action-adventure
movie about photojournalists who risk their lives to document a country that's torn apart by senseless violence.
6/24:
Salvador is the closest you can experience about the effects of the Iran-Contra affair.
First started with Nicaragua, it spread to El Salvador, and both civil wars were funded by the United States in hopes of stopping
"communism." But really, they just wanted to control these countries by enforcing its policy with their own puppet leaders. By the way,
there are references to Archbishop Romero, and a movie was made about him called Romero with Raúl
Juliá.
James Woods deserved to be Oscar-nominated which was pretty much clinched by his confession to the priest althought a case can be
made for his speech at the table with two men. Oliver Stone and Richard Boyle got the other one for their original
screenplay. Of course, critics called the film disjointed; that's because they didn't either understand the conflict or want
to admit that the U.S. was in the wrong the entire time. The scenes of war zone are 100% impressive, being on the same level as
The Killing Fields.
All in all, Salvador is a very underrated movie about what it's like to be a photojournalist in the middle of a war.
San Quentin (1937)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/07
6/07:
Although a small-time prison picture that's semi-outstanding, San Quentin is ruined by the ending probably because of
the Hays Code.
I've never heard of Pat O'Brien before, but seeing him act now, he has made a fan out of me. I'm impressed with his natural acting
ability. He does a remarkable job of transforming his cool character into somebody with leverage against a dangerous convict who's
played by the ever-wonderful Humphrey Bogart. As his sister, Ann Sheridan is excellent.
Because of the ridiculous ending, it ruins what Humphrey Bogart's character stands for. Moreover, it eradicates what the premise is
supposed to be about. I was thinking more of the captain being killed by Red and there would be some meaning derived behind
the murder. Unfortunately, it didn't happen that way because the criminal had to die which is typical of 30's Hollywood pictures.
All in all, if the ending had been done correctly, San Quentin would look better.
The Sand Pebbles (1966)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
10/08, 3/24
10/08:
Well, Steve McQueen's acting career had been validated after being rewarded with an Oscar nomination for his work in
The Sand Pebbles.
Unfortunately, it's not the best performance of his career. What Steve McQueen did in Papillon
still blows the doors off of the other one. Yet it's a nice subdued job, allowing me to enjoy the three-hour confusing, murky picture.
I've tried hard to understand what it's saying. Apparently, there's a job to be done, and outside of it, there's
a life. So, it's hard to tell what's more important in the face of military matters.
The acting is good, especially from Mako, Richard Attenborough, Richard Crenna, Candice Bergen, and, of course...the greatest of
them all, Steve McQueen.
All in all, I'll need to see The Sand Pebbles again later to make more sense out of it.
3/24:
Trying The Sand Pebbles again, I have to say it isn't a great movie, and thus, I'm downgrading the rating from '8' to '7'.
Yes, it's quality filmmaking from start to finish, but the stories are all over the place. That's the problem. Director Robert
Wise needs to stick with a dominant theme. That way, I can understand why I'm sitting through this three-hour film. There are
two nice aspects: it was shot on location in Taiwan and Hong Kong and the wonderful cinematography by Joseph MacDonald.
I won't say the performance have gone wasted, but they don't mean much in the grand scheme of things. Steve McQueen may be
Oscar-nominated; it's rather ordinary. He's been better in other films such as
Papillon, The Great Escape, and
Junior Bonner. On the other hand, Richard Attenborough, Richard Crenna, Candice Bergen,
and Mako are fine.
All in all, The Sand Pebbles got overnominated to death only because it looked and felt like a quality film, but really,
it's hurt the most by Robert Wise's meandering direction.
The Sandlot (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/21
7/21:
The Sandlot was already a classic baseball picture in 1993, and I still remember everything despite not
seeing it again until now.
All of the child actors are natural, and they can play baseball, too. There are nice random moments from time
to time to make this one memorable. It's interesting to see James Earl Jones and Art LaFleur because both were
in a similar picture called Field of Dreams. However, The Sandlot
has some stuff that I don't like.
One, because it's an ensemble picture, not all nine boys are equally developed. I can't remember the names for
five or so if I'm forced to. Smalls and Benny have the most screen time. Ham is next with Squints grabbing some
attention. The rest are forgettable.
Two, for a kid's movie, it has some profanity and bullying going on. "Shit" was uttered several times, yet the
writers couldn't come up with a better word? It's an easy fix in order to make the film appropriate for people
of all ages. Bullying is one big reason why kids have tuned out of sports, let alone baseball, because of failing
to measure up.
Three, I hate how the Beast is initially big and then downsized to a regular dog in the long run. It does take a
lot of bite away from the suspense by the time Benny is on the other side of the fence. Now, I can't help but
wonder if the white kids were afraid of going over the house because the occupant was black. While this was
happening, I thought, "Why not just knock the door and find out first?" It would've saved a lot of trouble.
The fact that Mr. Mertle used to play ball and that he was friends with Babe Ruth is unbelievable. Then, it's
topped by having no problem with giving away an autographed ball by the entire 1927 New York Yankees team. Like
it will happen in real life.
All in all, The Sandlot is a creative baseball picture, regardless of the negatives.
The Sandpiper (1965)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/17, 3/23
3/17:
The Sandpiper can be best described as a vanity project for the Burtons who were married not long
before the start of filming.
Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton get '10' while the rest is '3', averaging out to weak '7'. It's
comical to see how the son is instantly forgotten as soon as he's shipped to San Simeon because it's all about
Liz and Dick which is the best part of the whole thing. That being said, who the hell cares about the kid?
The other is the cinematography. I don't think you'll find a more beautiful film than The Sandpiper
when it comes to Big Sur. The story is okay, but it's never convincing for the slightest second. The sandpiper,
which is a bird, is used as an allegory of what's going on. Elizabeth Taylor does everything to demonstrate
her character, Laura Reynolds, is the most free-spirited person alive, but really, her stunning looks have made
it possible although she can't paint for shit.
Besides, why wouldn't Laura's parents want her around? That's what she's good for: be shown off to everybody.
It has been a constant theme with her boyfriends. Richard Burton, whose hypocritical reverend character is the
latest notch of Laura's many sexual conquests, is only happy to oblige. He was, after all, mystified by her
sparkling eyes and tanned breasts.
Here's a movie trivia from IMDb: "According to one published report, the redwood sculpture of a nude Elizabeth
Taylor was accidentally destroyed years later when it tipped over and smashed, and was discovered to be teeming
with termites." I guess beauty can last for so long although it doesn't look like her the least bit.
All in all, The Sandpiper is all about Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, and I'll gladly take it.
3/23:
Forget the kid or anyone else because it's all about Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton in The Sandpiper!
Give me them, and I'll be aplenty satisfied. As a bonus, Big Sur looks gorgeous. The story is okay, but Dalton
Trumbo's screenplay is somewhat silly with a ridiculous ending. Adultery is adultery, and there's nothing
complicated about it. Of course, I'll take Elizabeth Taylor over Eva Marie Saint any time of the day.
All in all, featuring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton in the same film is always a treat, and
The Sandpiper is too happy to provide lots of them.
Sapphire (1959)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
Sapphire may have been ahead of its time in 1959, but now, it's behind.
The race issue is what gets everybody's attention, but the longer the mystery goes on, the more workmanlike the film
is. Exasperated, I just wanted to get to the bottom of it and move on: who murdered the girl? Finally, the answer
came, but it's still annoying, causing me to conclude that the red herrings had been a waste of my time. All the
worrying for naught while I was stuck between the fiancé and his father.
The performances are fine with Nigel Patrick and Earl Cameron standing out a bit more. The former and his associate
remind me of the first part in Law & Order. No matter how many times I'm told of this or the picture is
shown, that's definitely a white girl with zero drop of black blood in her. The actress is Yvonne Buckingham
anyway. Despite the lead investigators jumping to conclusions erroneously at times, I like the photography of
London streets which was handled by Harry Waxman, but the strong neon blue light at the ends has to go.
All in all, if it wasn't for the race stuff, Sapphire would've been another run-of-the-mill murder
mystery picture.
Satan Met a Lady (1936)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
10/17
10/17:
Although a loose remake with many coincidences, Satan Met a Lady is much better and more well-acted than the 1931
version of The Maltese Falcon.
Warren William's performance is impressive, and Marie Wilson is excellent as the ditzy
secretary. Once upon a time, Bette Davis was beautiful and could match Warren William line for line in every
scene. But this time, he's overpoweringly good and has a way with words with such fluidity.
Unfortunately, the film was trashed by critics, and Bette Davis hated it so much that she said: "I was
so distressed by the whole tone of the script and the vapidity of my part that I marched up to Mr. Warner's office and demanded
that I be given work that was commensurate with my proven ability." She would leave Warner Brothers after two more
pictures including one that had her playing a lumberjack, but she came back anyway.
Showing no trace of anything that can be construed as outdated, Satan Met a Lady is charming and fast-paced in a
film noir manner. I was surprised at how much I got into it after being disappointed with
The Maltese Falcon.
All in all, thanks to Warren William, Satan Met a Lady is an over-the-top fun movie.
Saturday Night and
Sunday Morning (1960)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
5/19, 3/22
5/19:
"What I'm out for is a good time. All the rest is propaganda."
So begins Albert Finney's great acting career in Saturday Night and Sunday Morning, an intense
British angry man film that would see his character grow up at the end after partaking of self-destruction.
If Albert Finney won awards for his performance, he deserved them. He's absolutely the show. Rachel Roberts is
splendid enough of an actress to match him pound for pound as she proved it again by appearing in
This Sporting Life
with an even more intense actor by the name of Richard Harris. And yes, that's Colin Blakely in his first yet brief film role.
Alan Sillitoe's writing is sharp, giving the dialogue a nice crisp pace with plenty of easy-to-understand British slang. Additionally,
Freddie Francis' black-and-white cinematography is top-notch. The last fifteen minutes is unfortunately weak,
disallowing it to finish in a more dramatic manner.
All in all, Albert Finney, a giant in British cinema, makes a powerful leading-man debut in Saturday Night and Sunday Morning.
3/22:
The main reason to revisit Saturday Night and Sunday Morning is the brilliant performance by Albert Finney.
It's maybe the best film of the British kitchen sink drama genre. The other examples are
Look Back in Anger with Richard
Burton and Claire Bloom and This Sporting Life with Richard Harris and Rachel Roberts.
The central figure is a
working-class angry young man. It sparked the New Wave of British filmmaking which saw the emergence of directors Karel Reisz,
Jack Clayton, Lindsay Anderson, John Schlesinger, and Tony Richardson.
Based on his life, Alan Sillitoe penned the fictional novel entitled Saturday Night and Sunday Morning, his first and most
famous work, and then redid it in screenplay format. The British writing is excellent, showing plenty of
parallels with Alfie that came out six years later which shot Michael Caine to international stardom.
Albert Finney is fantastic, having become the character of Arthur Seaton quite naturally. Not unlikeable the least bit, he's a tough
guy who'll bear responsibilities for whatever and own up to his mistakes. His ultimate credo is: "What I'm out for is a
good time. All the rest is propaganda." At the end, Seaton redeems himself by finally growing up but refuses to go quietly.
All in all, Saturday Night and Sunday Morning is a British masterpiece with Albert Finney at his best.
Saturday Night Fever (1977)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
6/04, 4/06, 11/07, 2/13, 3/22
4/06:
One reviewer described John Travolta: he "gives a sensual and intelligent performance as the
troubled Tony Manero—Brooklyn paint store clerk by day and undisputed king of the dance floor by night."
It's his most famous, iconic movie role. When I think of a film that captures a lost period, it's the disco
movement of the 70's for Saturday Night Fever.
All in all, John Travolta is very special in Saturday Night Fever.
11/07:
Saturday Night Fever is a one-of-a-kind picture that captures a lost period.
There's no doubt John Travolta gives the finest performance of his career. He's electrifying and oozes sensuality,
taking the film to another level.
Tony Manero is secretly thrilled by his fame as the disco king of Brooklyn which gives him power and status. When
he walks into the dance club, women send him ooh's and ahh's and give him kisses. One of them offers to wipe the sweat from his
forehead. It's the most fascinating part because Tony is revered as God on the basis of what he does on the dance floor.
All in all, John Travolta is out of the world in Saturday Night Fever.
2/13:
Saturday Night Fever is an iconic film that captures a period of time and the disillusionment that goes along with it.
All in all, there's nothing like Saturday Night Fever.
3/22:
Brooklyn paint store clerk by day and undisputed king of the dance floor by night, Tony Manero is one of the most iconic
characters in movie history.
Featuring lots of songs from the Bee Gees and others, the soundtrack is amazing, and it was the biggest seller ever until Michael
Jackson's album "Thriller" came along. Instead of somebody breaking out to sing a song, it's a revolutionary musical as the
music and film become interwoven as one. There aren't many pictures that usher in a cultural phenomenon and serve as a time
capsule at the same time, but Saturday Night Fever did that, creating a disco revolution with endless imitations.
Shot on location in Brooklyn, the opening scene is one of the most famous, setting the tone for the rest of the way. Almost
not making in the final cut is John Travolta's solo dance sequence as originally envisioned. Having rehearsed the
dance moves for months, he saw the original, hated it because of the extreme close-ups, had a final say, and re-edited
the whole thing to his liking to achieve more cinematic power by showing him in full body view. Today, it's absolutely timeless.
The scene of Manero's family slapping each other is funny. When John Travolta was hit in the head, he ad-libbed the line,
"Will you just watch the hair?" and then "You know, I work on my hair a long time and you hit it." There are other amusing parts
as well.
How the project got started is the June 1976 fictional New York magazine article "Tribal Rites of the New
Saturday Night" that was penned by music writer Nik Cohn who mostly fabricated everything and didn't understand what he was witnessing. At that
time, disco was strictly underground, but when the movie came out, the subculture just blew up and John Travolta, who was
already famous because of the TV show Welcome Back, Kotter, became an instant international superstar.
It's easy to put the film down by looking at the rough edges, but I have to disagree because it's an
accurate representation of who the characters are, coming from a working-class background. Tony Manero has losers for friends
(who cares about the guy killing himself at the end?) and will freely admit he's only good in two things: selling paint and
dancing. He makes for an endearing character despite his flaws. All of the young adult characters are confused while they
search for their identity, and it's what makes the film so good. When they put each other down, it's only a front in the form of
their fake Brooklynese attitude.
All in all, Saturday Night Fever is magical.
Saved! (2004)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
Saved! is an impressive, unique film that combines religion and teenagers in an irreverent way.
At first, I thought I wouldn't like it, but I was won over in the long run. Despite what religious people say in defense
of themselves given the stereotypical characters, I must say it's been true for many of them who are exactly like
Hilary Faye, but they're too blind to accept the criticism.
As for the performances, Mandy Moore and Eva Amurri stand out the most. Jena Malone is fine while the seemingly miscast
Macaulay Culkin does enough to pass muster. The writing is best thing going. I like how the topics of homosexuality,
group acceptance, and teen pregnancy are played out in the open.
With the exception of Patrick and Dean, I have to say there are no true Christians among the characters. It's obvious that Roland
and Cassandra are meant to be atheists, and that's why they ended up looking better than almost everybody else. Mary is
somewhere in the middle left, but Hilary Faye, along with her two brainwashed friends, is the farthest to the right. Pastor Skip
is only a couple of steps behind Hilary Faye.
All in all, Saved! succeeds in putting virtually every hypocritical Christians to shame.
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
6/06, 8/23
6/06:
There's no finer example of being in a war than the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan when the men are ready to
come out of the Higgins boats during D-Day on Omaha Beach in Normandy, France.
It goes without saying it's the most realistically shot WWII picture, putting
Battle of the Bulge and
The Longest Day to shame. However, I'm not sure about the story as it seems far-fetched.
No matter what, the acting is quite good, and everybody does a great job of making the movie work.
All in all, definitely right up there with Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan
is a remarkable motion picture achievement.
8/23:
The opening scene of the D-Day invasion is still breathtaking and intense.
That being said, it's shocking that Shakespeare in Love beat out Saving Private Ryan
for Best Picture. What a mistake. The story is terrific and all. So is the acting. The cinematography is a can't-beat.
All in all, Saving Private Ryan puts many, many WWII pictures to shame.
Saving Silverman (2001)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
What I had expected out of Saving Silverman was a stupid comedy show, but boy, was I wrong!
The movie is gross beyond belief and embraces perversity in a crude way. One scene involves a male nincompoop trying
to perform a yoga move in order to achieve autofellatio. Another, which I can't believe I witnessed it, is a butt lift surgery
with something inserted there. It's totally unnecessary.
I don't have anything against Neil Diamond, and I'm sure he's great. But is it necessary for him to have his reputation
soiled by appearing in this piece of shit?
All in all, Saving Silverman is one of the absolutely worst films I've ever seen in my life.
Savior (1998)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
Low rating...yes when it should be '6'.
Savior lost me completely when Dennis Quaid's character, Joshua, went in a mosque and shot as many Muslims
as he could after his wife and kid died in a terroristic bombing. That's mass murder, and whoever does it gets death
or life in prison. Instead, he manages to escape punishment by enlisting in the French Foreign Legion. Yeah, right.
Some years pass before Joshua finds himself in the middle of the Bosnian War and decides to kill a boy only because
he's Muslim. Remind me again...what am I watching this piece of shit for? Unsurprisingly, it made
measly $14,328 against a budget of $10 million. The filmmakers should've asked themselves, "Why would this
appeal to anyone?" They tried to win me back with Joshua saving a baby at the end, but...he's a mass murderer!
For the most part, Savior is okay, having been shot on location in Montenegro. If you were frustrated
with Joshua for doing nothing during the genocide scene, that's because there were too many soldiers to handle
at once and he didn't have much of ammunition to begin with. By the way, I've never see a sniper use rope
to hold up the barrel. It won't work anyway since the power of the rifle will affect its aim.
All in all, Savior dies in the first fifteen minutes.
Saw (2004)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
9/18
9/18:
Initially, I was skeptical about Saw after seeing the cover and thinking it was going to be another torture porn flick,
and I even questioned Danny Glover and maybe Cary Elwes for agreeing to be cast in this.
Well, after the first fifteen minutes, which was shot in eighteen days on a small budget, I finally understood why
they did it after being immediately gripped by the intelligence. Relieved was I to see little torture and no porn.
The story is both unique and fresh. Of course, the whole thing is a wretched mess with bad editing and poorly inserted
flashbacks. I even predicted correctly who the serial killer was when he made his first appearance. Still, I couldn't stop
watching and appreciated the ending. I've got to say Saw broke new ground in horror by combining elements from
Seven and Cube and then going further.
There was a moment early on when the ever-annoying Adam (who's played by Leigh Whannell who wrote the script
along with director James Wan) remarked that he hadn't seen a dead body before. Now, I've been conditioned by numerous errors
in cinema for so long because I knew the supposedly dead body in the room was definitely breathing, but I let it go as
usual. There were other instances I also ignored. The point is that all of what had transpired eventually played an
important role at the end.
Another thing I like is the psychological effect of what's happening to the characters. Of course, it's annoying when the two
male characters had wasted so much time talking to each other that they didn't bother searching everywhere in the room or trying
a lot of things out, especially with the metal shackles. Worse is when last-minute surprises appear given
the fact that they were facing a life-and-death situation.
All in all, despite the negatives, Saw is the most innovative horror movie I've seen in a long time.
Saw II (2005)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/18
9/18:
Because Saw caught me by surprise, I was willing to give the sequel a chance, and I now regret
my decision.
What I predicted for the original quickly became the case here. Although the ending isn't bad, it still doesn't
excuse the editing torture that I was forced to endure for the majority of the time.
If I thought Mark Wahlberg was a horrible actor, his brother Donnie is even worse. He isn't tough, just a stupid,
goofy-looking guy with a silly display of anger. The rest of the cast is no better, either. Why should I care about their
criminal characters? You tell me that. It probably broke the record for having the most dumb characters in a film. I will
go far enough to include the cops for showing off their unprofessional behavior with one of them claiming to be an
"expert" on Jigsaw.
Didn't the mastermind say, "Think hard. The numbers are in the back of your mind. The clue to their order can be found over
the rainbow." Come on, fucking do it...look at the back of the heads and correspond the numbers with ROY G BIV. But nooo....all
of the idiot characters have to yell at each other and do nothing significant the entire time, causing me to stop the movie
repeatedly. Yes, Mr. John Kramer...they're murders because you set them up in the first place, you dumb fuck.
All in all, Saw II proves putting many (stupid) heads together to figure out simple stuff doesn't always work.
Saw III (2006)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
9/18
9/18:
Saw III is the official title for the public, but it's actually Saw $$$ for the studio or, better yet,
All I Saw Was $$$.
What is the 17th Robert Bruce doing in this godforsaken picture? William Wallace ought to kick his ass for being involved with
such junk.
The original had intelligence. The third part shows little of it as torture has become the de facto replacement with a slight
amount of porn. At the same time, the quality of editing has gone downhill,
rendering some of the scenes unwatchable. Hollywood needs to quit the shaky camera gimmick for good.
Tobin Bell is Jigsaw, and he can't shut the hell up on top of his pompousness. His character is always claiming that he's
either helping people with their problems or insisting he's not a murderer. But the peabrain doesn't realize he's dead
wrong. The ridiculous brain surgery scene? I don't think so. Only idiots will buy that.
All in all, every time a sequel is made for Saw, just affix a dollar sign to the end of the title.
Sayonara (1957)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/13
7/13:
It feels weird to watch Sayonara while trying to be used to the idea that Americans and Japanese are forbidden
from having an interracial relationship.
Then, it gets more weird when Japanese females are dressed up as dolls for the Americans, so they can give bath
rituals, cook elegant dinners, and perform traditional routines for honor and duty. So, that's why I never got into
Sayonara. I find it flat, boring, and long. As a matter of fact, I almost agree with the armed services' stance on
interracial marriage because the soldiers don't deserve these Japanese females who can do better.
Marlon Brando is excellent as Ace Gruver as far as his mannerisms go; however, it's not among his best stuff. Miiko Taka is
beautiful as Hana-ogi but is no actress. I don't see what makes Red Buttons' or Miyoshi Umeki's Oscar-winning performance
special. Ironically, the film is about overcoming racial inequality, yet the producers decided on a Mexican, Ricardo Montalbán,
to play a Japanese. In fact, they asked Audrey Hepburn for the role of Han-ogi, but she turned them down, finding the idea too
incomprehensible.
All in all, Sayonara might be better if the movie practiced what it preached.
The Scalphunters (1968)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
9/24
9/24:
I was hoping for another Vera Cruz through The Scalphunters, but the movie is
both average and unfunny.
The biggest issue is Ossie Davis. His character talks too much and gets on my nerves. Telly Savalas and Shelley Winters do
a better job but are never convincing. Burt Lancaster is a 10 and the only reason why I bothered watching
this Western in the first place.
On the whole, the story is uninteresting and isn't in the same league as
Valdez Is Coming. That and Vera Cruz had
so much action and compelling characters. But this time, I'm just bored by the screenplay that
probably tried to be another The Defiant Ones. Even the ending sucks.
All in all, if you're a fan of anyone in the cast, The Scalphunters will do, but don't expect much.
Scanners (1981)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
11/04, 10/07, 7/15
10/07:
Scanners is the kind of film that John Carpenter could've directed, but no...it's David Cronenberg who did, making a
big splash during the early 80's through his sci-fi horror films.
The intelligence behind the story keeps me gripped, offering plenty of twists and turns for entertainment. If I thought
Videodrome was too much and abstract, Sanners is just right: simple and clear.
Obviously, the head-exploding
scene is a work of art but should be overlooked to give the rest of the film the praise it derserves.
Michael Ironside gives the best performance of the show as Darryl Revok. He has a nice Harry Lime moment and
can be chilling at times. On the other hand, Cameron Vale received a lot of undeserved criticism for his acting, but he's
excellent by playing a character who isn't as attuned as the audience will like him to be.
All in all, Scanners is a must-see sci-fi neo noir classic that's in the spirit of
Blade Runner.
7/15:
Having seen a lot of David Cronenberg's films, I consider Scanners to be among his top two or three.
What I appreciate the most about it is the simple, straightforward story. When it's explained, the motives of the
characters are readily identified. That's why the final showdown between Cameron Vale and Darryl Revok feels intense.
However, the ending leaves me puzzled: did Darryl survive the scanner-esque battle or did Cameron become Darryl? If
it's the latter because he said, "We've won," then it doesn't make sense.
Something else that's brilliant is the use of facial expressions to convey the feeling of what's going on. As a result,
the performances have been convincing. Many viewers complained about Stephen Lack's acting, but they're dead wrong. He's
spot-on in terms of what he's supposed to be feeling which is the detachment from reality while not understanding who he is.
For the role of his career, Michael Ironside is unforgettable as Darryl Revok. He has a Harry Lime moment when he's near the
apartment that's occupied by good guys.
Of course, Scanners has an impossible-to-miss pièce de résistance which occurs almost at the beginning and
is undoubtedly impressive, but I wish the people will look past it and begin to appreciate the film for its
thought-provoking storytelling.
All in all, to understand David Cronenberg is to begin with Scanners and follow it up with
The Brood,
Videodrome, The Dead Zone, The Fly, and
Existenz, and therefore, you'll discover that his films are intelligent.
The Scapegoat (1959)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/14
6/14:
The Scapegoat is a motion picture that allowed my mind to wander a lot.
There's a twist near the end, and once it happens, it's a mere formality to tie up the final loose end.
Most of the buildup is tedious to sit through because the plot isn't believable enough.
Although it's a bit of a challenge to film Alec Guinness and his double simultaneously, the whole thing is annoying, having seen
this in past films. Bette Davis, albeit in a small role, obviously overacts. It's probably
how she landed the part for What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
All in all, The Scapegoat isn't what I call a well-made picture, especially for 1959 when the early 40's is more
appropriate.
Scarecrow (1973)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
11/14, 4/25
11/14:
In the prime of their Hollywood careers, Gene Hackman and Al Pacino starred together in a rare film
entitled Scarecrow.
Both are at top of their game and show why they're among a handful of best actors alive. In many films, you
won't hear lines this good as supplied by Garry Michael White's screenplay. Each presents a
brilliant character study of a dumb, flawed man: one carrying around a white box with a cheap lamp inside and
the other wanting to open up a car wash for less than three grand.
They go on a hobo trek from California to Detroit while having lively conversations and meet old acquaintances
but manage to find trouble in the stupidest ways possible. Both are met with a tragic end which sums up the
impact of their brief friendship. The message of the title is to keep up a positive outlook, no matter how dire
the situation is. Yeah, it does sound like a repeat of Midnight Cowboy.
All in all, Scarecrow is a top ten picture of Gene Hackman's and Al Pacino's careers.
4/25:
Talk about two actors making something out of nothing.
Scarecrow mostly reminds me of Midnight Cowboy.
Everybody is dumb but has character. First half is dominated by Gene Hackman, and then, Al Pacino takes
over during the second half. They both finish the film at a high but somber note. It's about relationships and
earning respect. Yes, this one takes a while to get there, but once it does, you'll be hooked.
All in all, Scarecrow is among the most overlooked films of all time.
Scarecrows (1988)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
William Wesley sure likes his name a lot, huh?
It turns out to be fake as he used to be Jose Rolando Rodriguez. Anyway, Scarecrows kicks off the opening credits, and
immediately, I notice the style was ripped off from The Exorcist. It's also a mistake
to go back and forth between the titles and what's happening on the hijacked plane.
Then, when the dumb mercenaries appear in the middle of the woods with a female hostage and hole themselves up at the house
while trying to sight their invisible enemy, I can't help but sense the rip-offs from
Predator, but this time, it's a bunch of scarecrows surrounding them. The
And Then There Were None concept may not be original, but it does work
wonders.
The horror aspect is easily felt, but there's so much talking that it's been ruined. If half of the dialogue can be
thrown out, Scarecrows will be better for it. Hearing Bert's thoughts aloud is so dumb. Hard to shake off is the
amateur acting which is indicative of the film's low budget, yet the rest of the show looks professionally done.
What also bothers me is the lack of logic. Say Bert flies out of the plane and lands by the house. He gets on a truck that's
going fast which has to be miles and miles away. How is it that he's suddenly near the house after the truck breaks down?
Ditto for the rest of the guys on the plane who are able to land so near the house and be there right away. It's also
amazing they can locate each other in the middle of the woods, no matter what. Plus, they're able to track Bert at the same
time while on the plane? Some advanced technology they must have despite the fact that I never saw it at any point.
All in all, Scarecrows is neither well-made nor original.
Scarface (1932)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
11/15
11/15:
Well, this is the granddaddy of all gangster pictures: the 1932 version of Scarface
This one lives up to the reputation for being the most influential of the genre. Prior to seeing it, I had my reservations
when I was told the 1983 version was a remake. Afterwards, I had to say, "Yep, it definitely is."
Paul Muni is the show, and everybody else plays second fiddle to him. Even the poor George Raft, in his first movie role
despite his extensive mob ties, is barely noticeable in the background. In fact, it's what hurt the film: not enough
character development. Eventually, George Raft's career took off.
The story is quite good, and Oliver Stone didn't change much of the structure; he only added the visceral gory and blood
to his version which fits Miami's culture of the drug-fueled violence. If there are films that escaped the swath of the Hays
Code, Scarface is one of them, thanks to Howard Hawks' defiance to censorship, a rarity with violence that's never seen
before in a 30's picture. Hence, it still stands the test of time.
All in all, the 1932 version of Scarface is among a handful of outstanding gangster flicks.
Scarface (1983)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/05, 3/06, 9/11
3/06:
Scarface is sometimes awesome, mediocre, derivative, annoying, and pointless but is mostly stupid.
There's no doubt that it's Al Pacino's movie. This is him at his craziest which marks the point that he never went back
to his usual self. There are some great performances from others such as Robert Loggia, Steven Bauer, F. Murray Abraham, and
Paul Shenar. But why couldn't Michelle Pfeiffer take some acting lessons? She flat-out sucks.
Because it lacks depth, I wish the story is better constructed given it's Oliver Stone who wrote the screenplay and
could've used some help from Francis Ford Coppola, Mario Puzio, and/or Martin Scorsese. At one point, Tony Montana was about
to face his eventual death, but what do I care? That's the problem.
All in all, Scarface is more of a silly than a serious gangster picture.
9/11:
Scarface was thought overtly ridiculous when it first premiered in 1983, but since then, it has gained too much
attention to the point of being overrated that sometimes borders on obsession for some fans.
Al Pacino makes a remarkable transformation as he goes from Frank Serpico, Don Corleone, and Sonny Wortzik to Tony Montana.
It's a fine performance despite the spectacle mess. There's no question the cinematography is
excellent, making the picture pretty in a Miami way. The style is rough and gritty for good measure. Unfortunately, Michelle
Pfeiffer has to stink up every scene she appears in. That's why she's a model, not an actress.
All in all, Scarface is okay in spite of some good movie moments.
The Scarlet and the Black (1983)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/15
11/15:
In spite of Gregory Peck's and Christopher Plummer's excellent performances, The Scarlet and the Black is an overlong
made-for-TV drama about Catholics versus Nazis in Vatican City.
Growing weary of the cat-and-mouse game, I took several breaks in order to get through the film; it's been
mundane. All I can say is, "Why not kidnap the priest and make a propaganda show out of it?"
But the more I watch Gregory Peck, the more I realize he became a better actor when he got older. Christopher Plummer
enlivens things when his character created a competition between himself and the priest. It's the final half hour that saves
the film from sinking further. What I didn't know is it's based on a true story about Monsignor Hugh O'Flaherty (who looks
like Karl Malden, especially the nose) who saved 6,500 Allied soldiers and Jews during WWII. If there's a saint, it's him.
All in all, The Scarlet and the Black is worth watching for three reasons: Monsignor Hugh O'Flaherty's heroics, Gregory
Peck, and Christopher Plummer.
The Scarlet Letter (1995)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/17
12/17:
The Scarlet Letter is an okay movie.
I spent some time thinking about what's wrong with it. I've never read the book, so I can't
comment on the differences despite many reporting it's hardly an adaptation of Nathaniel Hawthorne's story.
The plot reminds me plenty of The Crucible, but the Daniel Day-Lewis film wasn't
released until a year later.
As for Gary Oldman, having seen many of his performances, I try to be neutral as much as possible, but there's a certain layer
of fakeness that surrounds his acting technique which has always been there since day one. It's quite telling in The Scarlet Letter
when he's in several scenes with Robert Duvall, who's masterly once again, although he didn't do that bad of a job overall.
I hate to say this, but Demi Moore is the one who killed the film. Maybe "killed" is too strong of a word, but she looks all
wrong: a 90's actress trying to make it work in the 17th century sense. Either she's not believable or can't emote properly
enough. The other problem is Demi Moore has no chemistry with Gary Oldman. I mean, they try and try, but it's never there,
hence the mediocrity. At least, the writing is decent enough for me not to be bothered by it.
What's with the deus ex machina when Demi Moore's and Gary Oldman's characters were about to be hanged before the Indians
came to start a small battle of their own? And for what reason? I didn't know they cared about white people so
much. The movie poster seems to indicate it's a sensual movie that's along the lines of
Como agua para chocolate, but I assure you that it's not.
All in all, stronger acting performances would've made The Scarlet Letter a better movie, but it's a pity since
I expected a lot from Roland Joffé.
Scenes of the Crime (2001)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
4/25
4/25:
The most cringe thing an actor can do is pretending to be a famous movie character.
That's what Jon Abrahams did by dressing like Steve McQueen in Bullitt.
Why??? It's so stupid, being among the downfalls of Scenes of the Crime. Every time his face was shown
along with the outfit, I could only roll my eyes.
Is this a play or what? The way everybody talks and does things, I might say so. At least, there are several
decent performances, especially by Noah Wyle, Jeff Bridges, and Brian Goodman. The rest of the supporting cast
is fine. Only R. Lee Ermey's character makes no sense.
Granted, it's a slow-paced film because nearly all are just sitting in either the vehicle or the deli
and passing the time until something happens in the final twenty minutes. However, thanks to the quality of
dialogue, I became interested in the long run, but the director made the mistake of giving it an abrupt ending. I
was never interested in Lenny's fate. Once Jimmy Berg was killed, the movie was over.
All in all, Scenes of the Crime feels like a "prove-it" picture for fledgling director Dominique Forma, and
he didn't succeed.
Scent of a Woman (1992)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/12
8/12:
Look at the running length of the following films: Lawrence of Arabia (228 minutes),
The Godfather (178 minutes), and the 1962 version of
Mutinty on the Bounty (132 minutes).
Scent of a Pussy? It's a whopping 157 minutes. Think of all of the classic films that Al Pacino is famous for:
The Godfather, Serpico,
The Godfather Part II, Dog Day Afternoon,
...And Justice for All,
and Glengarry Glen Ross. For each one of them, he earned an Oscar nomination.
But which movie is it that he won the statuette for? It's Scent of a Pussy. That's amazing: all just
for playing a blind man. Any good actor can do that. Get out of here.
All in all, I want you to imagine Al Pacino with his eyes bugging out through his lizard-looking face and inhaling
deeply with his hands on the table, and you have the perfect image: Scent of a Pussy.
Schindler's List (1993)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
2/04, 1/05, 7/06, 7/11, 3/24
7/06:
This is the best picture of the decade.
It's what I saw in books about the Holocaust: Nazi brutality in black and white. Schindler's List is the stark truth
of what happened in German-occupied Europe from 1933 to 1945.
When I viewed the film in 1993, I had no idea of Oskar Schindler. What a hero he is. So is his assistant Itzhak Stern. Hence,
wonderful performances are rendered by everybody, most especially Ralph Fiennes who's pure evil as Amon Göth.
There are powerful scenes such as the mothers running after their children, the boy looking up from the latrine, and Oskar
Schindler's tearful speech at the end about saving more people. And there are equally powerful lines such as:
"It's Hebrew, it's from the Talmud. It says, 'Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.'"
"That's power, Amon. That is power."
"I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don't know. If I'd just...I could have got more."
"This list...is an absolute good. The list is life."
"In memory of the countless victims among your people, I ask us to observe three minutes of silence."
All in all, Schindler's List is history.
7/11:
Without question, Schindler's List is the best film of the decade.
It's impossible for me to get over how good it is.
All in all, Steven Spielberg should be praised for the singular cinematic achievement.
3/24:
As important as Schindler's List is, I only wonder why Steven Spielberg couldn't make more movies like it.
School Ties (1992)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
8/07
8/07:
Either School Ties is a film with an all-star cast or should be more appropriately titled as
A League of Extraordinarily Bad Actors.
I feel strongly inclined to the latter. The dialogue needs a lot of work in order to sound more natural. I
have a low opinion of Brendan Fraser when it comes to his acting, but he's pretty good here and
I was able to feel for his character. Hence, it's one of Brendan Fraser's better performances.
The first half is corny, but I like the second better which has merits that are related to cheating and
prejudice. But to improve the film more, the director should've taken fifteen minutes' worth from the first half
before continuing on with the rest of the show.
As for the cheating situation, I don't understand why it's been poorly handled by the teacher when he should've analyzed the
test results first before making a decision. On the other side of the coin is the display of prejudice which is more powerful
and can explain why Jews are usually scapegoats for people's problems.
All in all, had more attention be paid to the serious issues, School Ties would play better.
The Score (2001)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/07
4/07:
Here's a terrific film from 2001: The Score.
The great news is the casting of Marlon Brando and Robert De Niro. Then, add Edward Norton into the mix. It's a low-key
picture with nothing flashy. For three quarters, I did feel that I had seen it all, but there's a surprise twist at the end.
There are several faults. One is Robert De Niro and Angela Bassett showing weak chemistry. Two, there's not enough momentum
to keep the pace going. Three, Marlon Brando is somewhat disappointing; then again, he's old and looks out of it, hence the
final performance of his impressive, if erratic, career.
All in all, the high amount of star power makes The Score a treat.
Scorpio (1973)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/19
6/19:
Burt Lancaster once answered a question about the difference between him and Paul Scofield, "I'm a movie star. He's a great
actor."
I have to disagree with him because he's both a movie star and a great actor.
From Here to Eternity should erase any
doubt of his thespic abilities. To be honest with you, I've never seen Burt Lancaster give a bad performance in any film.
At the age of 58, Burt Lancaster performed all of his stunts in Scorpio as he ran through the construction site,
jumping on and off platforms and climbing ladders, and made a two-part 20-foot fall. Alain Delon proved to be game for it,
too. They're excellent as their characters, Cross and Scorpio, respectively.
Far ahead of the time, it predates Patriot Games by nineteen years for shooting scenes
inside the CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia. It's a deliberately paced espionage picture that spans four countries: United States,
England, France, and Austria. Many things happen during the deadly cat-and-mouse game between Cross and Scorpio with CIA
agents, and people die unexpectedly.
Funnily, Alain Delon, an international star, thought it was going to be the opposite situation as soon as the production team
moved to Vienna after seeing Burt Lancaster be mobbed by fans in Virginia and Washington, D.C., but to his disappointment, it
turned out to be more of the same for Burt over there.
All in all, armed with great performances and a labyrinthine plot that's filled with twists, turns, crosses, and double
crosses, Scorpio should delight all fans of
The Spy Who Came in from the Cold.
Scream (1996)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/03, 4/08
4/08:
I admit Scream was a good film when it first came out and stayed that way for a while because it was hip,
fresh, and new.
But now, seeing it again, time hasn't been kind. It's annoying to watch Matthew Lillard who was
definitely on some powerful uppers. He would act this way in subsequent films until his schtick finally wore off in 2002. I
still can't get over the uncanny resemblance Skeet Ulrich has to Johnny Depp.
What peeves me the most is how the movie can be so dumb at times. For example, one of the two masked killers was smashed by a
beer bottle, a refrigerator door, and whatever else, but when his identity is revealed, there's not a trace of what happened
on his face. When Billy is stabbed by an umbrella, his body shows no puncture. The same goes for Randy who's shot through the
shoulder, but there's nothing on the back of his shirt to indicate it. If Billy survived the ordeal and hoped to get away
with it, won't the fake corn syrup blood be hard to explain?
As I look at the front cover and the spine of the DVD case, it's Drew Barrymore getting the most attention. Please, she was
forgettable after the attention-grabbing introduction. I have to say the acting is terrible although it's seemingly hip. In
fact, that's my other peeve: everybody is too hip. Another aspect I hate is the excessive amount of movie references. They get
old after a while.
All in all, Wes Craven firmly holds on to his title as the Master of Suck.
Scream 2 (1997)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/03, 4/08
4/08:
For a while, I was thinking of giving Scream 2 a rating of '2' until the insanity took over which spelled its doom.
The twelve-minute intro is awful, and I can't stand the stupid black girl with her bitchy attitude. Then, the movie starts,
and right away, I can identify who the killers might be. However, that's not the problem. It's logic.
Whenever a serial killer is on the loose around the town, there should be no doubt of police presence, yet none can be
found. Please, don't give me the crap about the two flaky detectives who are supposed to protect Sidney. Speaking of her,
shouldn't she be in the Witness Protection Program with a new name? When Gale Weathers and Dewey
Simpleton were inside the unoccupied building that looked apparently dead save for the killer, how did Cotton Weary know they
would be in there?
I remember during the original there were no black characters. Here, they're suddenly everywhere. Was that done
to pacify the outraged black groups? Then, Wes Craven sends a message by having them all killed. If he's trying to be racist,
well...that's an interesting way of showing it. The tagline of the film reads, "Someone has taken their love of sequels
one step too far." Uh, I think in Wes Craven's case, the word "sequels" is rather switched to "greed."
All in all, Wes Craven sucks.
Scream 3 (2000)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/08
4/08:
Scream 3 may look like a '1', but it's slightly better than the previous sequel.
One thing for sure is the killer's identity is unpredictable after I thought it's one guy because there weren't many possible
suspects in sight. After three Scream films, I'm surprised the three main characters (Sidney,
Gale, and Dewey) are still going strong and haven't been personally affected by the long string of murders. It's like they're
superhumans.
However, the third part sucks because of the absurd plot. It's more of the same as the last two pictures, and
this one runs too long to sustain my attention. Wes Craven should've known that, as a cardinal rule, good horror
movies are always ninety minutes, but every picture in the Scream trilogy is two freaking hours.
The dialogue is lame and sometimes stupid. After the director rounded up as many black people as he could find for
Scream 2 and had all of them killed, he now has the number down to merely one, and he dies. So,
yes...I think progress is being made here. Maybe the "genius" will figure it out for the next time.
All in all, Scream 3 is another piss stain on Wes Craven's urine-filled filmography.
Scream 4 (2011)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/12
6/12:
Seeing two films made after 2010, which comes to one per year, Scream 4 is my first for 2011, showing my extreme
lack of interest in the current world of cinema.
The simple fact is: nobody knows how to make a good movie anymore. Even the acting standards are at an all-time low with
no sign of reaching the bottom. The current motto of the new Hollywood is to disregard everything that's quality by focusing on
the bottom line: profits.
Now, having seen the first three films of the Scream quadrilogy with each almost worse than
the original, I find the fourth part, strange to say, the best of all. I guess the reason is that it's fresher and smarter
than the previous three.
However, my biggest gripe is the lack of psychological trauma within the characters. In reality, when a person
dies, whoever was close to him should be naturally shocked, affected, and upset about what happened. But here, how they
feel is no big deal as if it's just another day to them.
The original characters continue to peeve me. Take Dewey, he, for a cop, still acts like a moron. When is he going to
grow up and start having common sense? And what is Sidney doing back in her old town? She should be in the Witness Protection
Program. Once and for all, Gale Weathers should shut the hell up and sit the fuck down.
Speaking of police, where are they in Woodsboro? After three times, everybody should develop the sense that the town is a very
dangerous place. And where is the media? It's incredible there's nobody crawling all over the story for
yet another series of murders.
All in all, Scream 4 is too clever (or should I say...stupid?) for its own good.
Scrooged (1988)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/13
8/13:
Scrooged is one of the worst Christmas pictures I've seen.
Throughout, comedy is nonexistent. All it consists of is Billy Murray screaming his head off. Karen Allen's eyes are akin to
deep black pissholes in the snow. Bobcat Goldthwait, a god-awful comedian if I ever saw one, sees his career flash before his
eyes. Carol Kane is a stupid fucking kook.
All in all, although the theme is about a mean person having a change of heart, Scrooged never convinces me for a second.
Scum (1977)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/21
11/21:
This review is for the BBC production.
I can imagine how shocking it must have been when the movie first came out on TV. Today, Scum still
looks raw and almost real, confirming the reason for its outright ban. Either way, I don't sympathize with
juvenile delinquents who went through the Borstal system. Stay out of trouble, and then, the bullshit
won't follow.
The young Ray Winstone makes his mark, and he's perfect. His co-star Phil Daniels has a small role compared to
Quadrophenia while Ray Winstone's was almost inconsequential. Seeing
lots of abuse heaped on Carlin, I thought the best course of action was to hit back. So he did. It's the only
way to survive while keeping his integrity intact.
All in all, "banned" sounds about right for Scum.
Scum (1979)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
11/21
11/21:
This review is for the theatrical release.
I find the remake of Scum totally unnecessary. It's been the same thing all over again with many actors
reprising their roles. Ray Winstone is fine, so there's nothing new here. What's lost is the raw, unflinching
realism. Using Mick Ford instead of David Threlfall for Archer is a bad idea. The people in authority were
more brutal in the original.
All in all, the 1977 version of Scum was perfect, and it should've been left alone.
Sea of Love (1989)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/06, 3/24
8/06:
Not your typical Al Pacino picture, Sea of Love makes for a superb viewing although the neo-noir touch is
marred by the Hollywoodized ending.
It should've played out the same way as Vertigo: man meets a woman, they develop a
relationship, something happens along the way, he loses her, she dies, and the end. So, yeah...the letdown is both
disappointing and unjustified.
Regardless, it has good acting performances by Al Pacino, Ellen Barkin, and John Goodman. There's a nice glimpse of early
Michael Rooker. Most of the strength lies in the story.
All in all, Sea of Love is a solid directorial effort by Harold Becker, but the ending needs work.
3/24:
Sea of Love is a weird neo-noir.
Sure, Al Pacino is excellent. He has nice chemistry with Ellen Barkin. John Goodman helps out. The story may be somewhat
typical since it deals with a serial killer and there are red herrings along the way. Only the biggest question is: is it Ellen
Barkin's character? I knew that couldn't be since she had a daughter. So, the revelation comes and is thus a surprise, but it makes
sense anyway.
The ending is ridiculous. Frank treated Helen as a murder suspect during their time together and kept lying to her when he
should've taken her fingerprints to settle the question once and for all. Once he finally learned the truth, Helen started to
hate him but eventually came to terms with him despite everything that had happened. Perhaps Frank should take it as a sign
there's still something wrong with her given his inability to wrap his head around her dating history.
By the way, I wondered if gender could be determined by fingerprints alone. It turns out it wasn't possible back then.
Today, it's not certain, but they're still working on different methods.
All in all, if you're a fan of Al Pacino, you can't go wrong with Sea of Love.
The Search (1948)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/22
5/22:
The Search is Montgomery Clift's first theatrically released film, but the Holocaust story (in spite of the
misleading movie poster) is much bigger than him which has been amateurishly handled.
The first thirty minutes with the children is strong, but the focus is shifted to a specific case, thus losing any power
the film had going. By the time Montgomery Clift shows up and starts interacting with the blond-haired kid who eventually
learns English in a world record time, it suddenly becomes made-for-TV.
The gum-chewing Tom Cruise look-alike sticks out too much like a sore thumb, but people of the time said he was realistic
enough to pass for a G.I. Joe. Yet there are nearly nobody around him in the war-torn city. As a matter of fact,
The Search was shot on location in Ingolstadt, Munich, Nuremberg, and Würzburg, Germany, which is the first for
any Hollywood picture. That means Berlin Express was actually the second to do so.
The longer the show goes on, the more predictable the ending becomes. What I wasn't anticipating is the long, dragged-out
sentimental scene of mommy finally reuniting with her long-lost son. This is when director Fred Zinnemann forgot it was
supposed to be a Holocaust, not Hollywood, movie. Shame on him for the manipulation to score extra points, hence the five
undeserving Oscar nominations. Happily, the film failed at the box office despite its ultra-low budget of $250,000 which
means the public knew better.
Speaking of Oscars, after the original author left, Montgomery Clift redid the dialogue, angering two replacements, but the
bland script ironically won them an Academy Award for Best Story. Ivan Jandl, who plays the child and is arguably the star
of the show, earned a Special Juvenile Academy Award. He didn't know any English and had to learn his lines phonetically.
Sadly, the then communist government of Czechoslovakia refused to permit him to attend the ceremony. It's the only
Hollywood movie that Ivan Jandl ever appeared in because the government wouldn't let him do any more.
All in all, The Search is okay for a Holocaust picture that was overpraised for poor reasons, but it's worth
watching, regardless.
The Searchers (1956)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/07
7/07:
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!
It's the most overrated film of all time: The Searchers. What on earth were these people thinking when they called
it the greatest picture they had ever seen? That it was so deep, mythical, and soul-searching? It's nothing but a regular
cowboy and Indian movie!
I don't think I've seen a motion picture that's so widely esteemed and heavily praised that ultimately left me
disappointed. The story is plain which is about a white man bullying his way through an Indian tribe, mowing it down, and
therefore winning the hearts of many for a deed done well.
Hence, The Searchers is a racist picture that depicts the American Indians as backward people while the whites
are a superior race. It's like watching The Birth of a Nation all over again,
making it okay to be a KKK member and believe in the lost cause of the South.
All in all, I wonder if the lovers of The Searchers are this shockingly funny or stupid.
A Season on the Brink (2002)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/22
7/22:
For over four decades, you couldn't escape college basketball without hearing Bobby Knight's name.
Indiana and basketball are practically synonymous, and, love him or hate him, Bobby Knight is regarded as a god there.
Famous and infamous for many reasons, he's probably the greatest college basketball coach of all time. At the time of
his retirement, Bobby won a record of 902 games with three national titles to boot.
More importantly, he ran a clean program with zero NCAA violations and nearly 100% graduation rate which are unheard-of in
big-time college athletics. The other side of the coin is his violent temper that's always profanity-laced which ultimately
got him fired. Despite his outstanding achievements, all people can think of Bobby Knight is the chair-throwing incident.
Prior to watching A Season on the Brink which is based on author John Feinstein's journey with the team
during the 1985-86 season of Indiana University Hoosiers basketball, I thought it was going to be tame given the
affiliation with ESPN. To my surprise, there are no holds barred as Brian Dennehy is allowed to let out the typical Bobby
Knight behavior nonstop. It's not pretty, and the movie is relentlessly depressing.
The headline star is perfect as Bobby Knight, but he would've done better if he did it during his prime in the 80's. Sadly,
Brian Dennehy looks old and a bit winded. No matter what, he's the right choice. It's a good role for him which is
an extension of what Nick Nolte did in Blue Chips minus the cheating which
ironically starred the real Bobby Knight.
All in all, you'll have a good idea of who Bobby Knight is after watching A Season on the Brink.
Second-Hand Hearts (1980)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/17
3/17:
Second-Hand Hearts was made in 1979 but got shelved for two years.
As a test run, Paramount Pictures decided to release it in two cities: New York City and Los Angeles. When the news came in
about the dismal box-office returns along with the mounting negative reviews, the company gave up and didn't release the
film again until 2013.
After watching Second-Hand Hearts, I feel the massive failure, which is a first for Hal Ashby, is
understandable. It's a bad movie, but I have to say the material actually got better over time based on the
strength of Robert Blake's and Barbara Harris' performances.
What happened in the last fifteen minutes is the final clincher for my rating of '6' when I was thinking of '3' or '4'.
It's Barbara Harris who shines the most. She saves the movie from being a total turkey. I suppose it's vintage of Hal Ashby if
I think about how similar the feel is to Harold and Maude. Robert Blake and
Barbara Harris play two loony, kooky characters, and everything that comes out of their mouths is pure rubbish. Yet I
was never bored throughout. Perhaps it's Haskell Wexler's cinematography that did it.
There's uniqueness to their road trip, and how the two leads managed to survive it in that jalopy is what adds charm to
the film, especially the sight of Barbara Harris carrying her kids. The amazing chemistry between her and Robert Blake
overcomes the lousy script.
During the filming, Hal Ashby was under the heavy influence of drugs and had fights with screenwriter Charles Eastman. The
script was probably so bad to begin with that it required a lot of rework in order to get the film done. By the time all
was said and done, it turned out to be an unwatchable and therefore unsellable mess that ruined the careers of many involved.
By the way, Shirley Stoler of The Honeymoon Killers fame makes an
appearance as Maxy.
All in all, Second-Hand Hearts isn't for everybody, but Hal Ashby's filmmaking magic does succeed through
Robert Blake's and Barbara Harris' winning performances as down-and-out losers.
Seconds (1966)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/14
6/14:
Seconds.
Now, that's what a bad film looks like. Trying to recapture the glory of
The Manchurian Candidate (even Dr. Yen Lo is reused here), John
Frankenheimer turns it into a disjointed mess. The grape-stomping scene is the key point of no return.
Although the plot is somewhat straightforward, the execution doesn't come off as crisp enough. In fact, it should've been
relegated to a 25-minute episode for The Twilight Zone. At least this way, it'll be more appreciated, capturing
the spirit of the show.
If there's any surprise, it's the casting of Rock Hudson for this type of picture. He does well and actually rises to the
occasion. However, I can never believe in his character's unhappiness for a second after going under the knife to end up
looking so much better than the other guy and be transplanted to an oceanfront house in Malibu, California, hooking up with a
friend with benefits.
All in all, more clarity will go a long way for Seconds.
Secret Ceremony (1968)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/24
3/24:
After winning the Best Actress Oscar for
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?,
Elizabeth Taylor appeared in many awful films, and Secret Cermony is one of them.
Thanks to Gerry Fisher's photography of London and Netherlands, Elizabeth Taylor looks good and gets to wear nice
clothes. It stars Mia Farrow and Robert Mitchum, with a beard and all, who can be easily substituted by Richard
Burton, but their acting isn't the problem. It's the lifeless, albeit well-written, script that makes no sense.
Hence, the thespians try to make something out of nothing but ultimately fail.
How the plot got conceived was through a short story competition, and therefore, it won the top prize along with
$5,000. Yeah, okay, but this doesn't mean it should be converted into a film! While wasting the talents of
Elizabeth Taylor and Robert Mitchum! And boring me to death! By the way, the unique-looking house in London
is Debenham House.
All in all, it's been a long fall for Elizabeth Taylor.
The Secret Invasion (1964)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/25
3/25:
Roger Corman can be relied on to make a stupid movie.
To be fair, The Secret Invasion was there first, but
The Dirty Dozen is totally better for
obvious reasons. While I can see the quality because of a bigger budget, the story makes no sense whatsoever.
Ditto for the dialogue. What's with the snapping fingers? There's zero payoff after the "general" is rescued.
When Raf Vallone's character said, "300 meters," I didn't think anything of it, but after I saw what his guys were
planning to do, I was like, "What??? They're going to dig a tunnel this long?" Why...that'll take months, if not
years. Plus, where do they put away thousands of cubic meters of dirt? How about these Nazis? So many of them
running all over the place in close contact and shooting at the good guys but failing for the most part, they're
truly inept. As for the ending, there's no historical basis to support Italian soldiers unleashing gunfire on the
Nazis.
On the positive side, the cast is stuffed with known players: Stewart Granger, Raf Vallone, Edd Byrnes, and
Henry Silva whose character has a shocking moment of accidentally suffocating a baby to death. But no thanks
to Mickey Rooney who relies on wrong instincts to play a scene. Shot on location in Dubrovnik in southern
Dalmatia, Croatia (formerly Yugoslavia), Arthur E. Arling should get credit for his cinematography work
to mask a lot of problems.
All in all, The Secret Invasion is a mix of quality and brainless.
Secret Window (2004)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
The question that came to my mind while watching Secret Window is: "Why?"
Although the first hour works and has interesting special effects, the inane plot kills off the rest. Johnny
Depp is good once again but needs to select better projects if he wants to play a villain. Otherwise, it's
The Astronaut's Wife all over again. On the other hand, David Koepp shouldn't be a director anymore; he's better at
writing.
All in all, if Johnny Depp doesn't change his course, he'll be an overrated actor soon enough.
Sensation (1994)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/21
2/21:
Any time an Eric Roberts picture has been poorly reviewed, it turns out to be better than expected for me, and that's the
case for Sensation.
The interesting story reminds me of some movies such as The Tenant (which is indirectly
referenced by Denny who, incidentally, looks familiar because he's the "double dip" guy in Seinfeld),
Apartment Zero,
Embrace of the Vampire,
Basic Instinct, and Candyman. Save for the
latter, Sensation is better than all of them.
Excellent acting is rendered by Kari Wuhrer who has the Alyssa Milano thing going on. She carries the film from start to
finish. Eric Roberts is at top of his game and is a total pro. To make things fun, Paul Le Mat turns in a sleazy supporting
performance. Ron Perlman does his part to give a neo-noir slant to the film.
Three, perhaps four, suspects are in the running for the highly mysterious "Who's the Murderer After All?" contest, and it
turns out to be a big surprise. Once I knew who the person was, things started to make sense. I didn't anticipate it, that's
all. Sensation is perhaps 30% soft porn which is mostly successful by taking advantage of the dreams Lila Reed have
been having.
The writing is good; it's another strength to lend credibility to the characters' professions. There's a lot of paranormal
activity going on, and nothing feels fake or contrived. The dreams, the professor's ulterior motive, and Lila's extrasensory
perception through the objects are seamlessly woven together. It's the last half-hour that gets things cooking until the
climax when the murderer's identity is finally revealed.
All in all, Sensation has all the makings for a superb neo-noir erotic murder mystery thriller.
The Sentinel (1977)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
10/21
10/21:
What a super strong cast Michael Winner had for The Sentinel.
Look at the names: Chris Sarandon, Martin Balsam, John Carradine, José Ferrer, Ava Gardner, Arthur Kennedy,
Burgess Meredith, Sylvia Miles, Eli Wallach, Christopher Walken, Jerry Orbach, Beverly D'Angelo, Tom Berenger,
William Hickey, Jeff Goldblum, and Richard Dreyfuss (yep, that's him standing right there on the sidewalk). That's
22 Oscar nominations and 5 wins among them.
And they all turned out for this above-average supernatural horror flick?!? It's weird. Worse, The Sentinel
had barely made much at the box office. Showing shades of Rosemary's Baby
with lots of Carnival of Souls and Freaks
thrown in, it is the closest to the theme of Burnt Offerings.
Cristina Raines headlines the star-studded cast. As beautiful as Cristina is, she's good for the most part, but
what the heck happened to her? She left the business in 1991 to become a nurse, specializing in patients on
dialysis for kidney failure. Meanwhile, the story moves at a decent pace, but the scenes don't flow well together due
to lack of depth. Although suspenseful at key moments with strong cinematography, the film is rather ordinary
much of the time.
All in all, The Sentinel should've been more than it actually is.
Separate But Equal (1991)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
8/21
8/21:
If I was disappointed by Marshall, Separate But Equal more than makes up for it.
This time, Thurgood Marshall appears before the Supreme Court and isn't so silent. It's the most famous case in the U.S.
history of education which began with Plessy v. Ferguson and concluded with Brown v. Board of Education. In
between is a 58-year black struggle for equal rights. The final verdict was the beginning of the end for racial segregation
that dominated race relations for a long time in the United States.
Once again, Sidney Poitier is magnificent, recapturing the form that made him an icon during the 60's. I understand that his
skin color doesn't match Thurgood Marshall's, but I'm going to let it slide because of his performance and the seriousness
of the topic that's fitting for an actor of his stature. On the other hand, it's the final film of Burt Lancaster's career,
and he still got it. Of course, all actors playing the Supreme Court justices are outstanding.
What's impressive is the growth of the issue. It starts with a single plaintiff in 1947 taking
legal action against the inferior conditions that black children were being taught in Clarendon County, South Carolina. Over
time, more players become involved as the stakes are raised. Thanks to Chief Justice Earl Warren, the Supreme Court voted
unanimously (9-0) in favor of the plaintiffs after a series of long, deep deliberations about the federal-versus-state rights.
All in all, there's a lot to learn about the history of education and race relations in Separate But Equal.
Separate Tables (1958)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
Separate Tables is another star-studded film that was overnominated to death by the Academy Awards.
It's hard to look past the stagy dialogue about a bunch of losers whom I don't care about. Failing badly in juggling the
characters on Grand Hotel-like setting, Delbert Mann can't make any of their stories
matter to me. At least, I like the concept of "separate tables" when everybody is in the dining room, but I don't know why it's
supposed to be interesting.
The only standout of the cast is Gladys Cooper as Mrs. Maud Railton-Bell, but what a surprise that David Niven and Wendy Hiller
won Oscars for their brief "nothing special" performances. The former always played himself in everything he did, and the latter
couldn't believe it by saying, "All you could see of me in the picture was the back of my head. Unless they give some award for
acting with one's back to the camera, I don't see how I could have won." Deborah Kerr is annoying as the mentally retarded girl
while Rita Hayworth looks good. Everybody else is average.
All in all, instead of a sleeping pill, Separate Tables will do because it's very dull.
The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
4/07
4/07:
All the more reason to hate Wes Craven, The Serpent and the Rainbow is another failure in his oeuvre.
I mean, what was that? An anthropologist going to Haiti in an attempt to procure a medicine that'll work wonders on zombies,
and this is based on a true story? It's more like a seminar for the alchemists.
Putting me to sleep many times over, the film has a ludicrous storyline, pathetic acting, and infantile dialogue. Wes Craven
is the master of stealing ideas from other movies and making them as his own which often have the feel of made-for-TV crap.
All in all, The Serpent and the Rainbow is among the worst movies made.
Serpico (1973)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/05, 8/11
6/05:
Al Pacino gives one of the finest performances of his career in Serpico, a true story of a NYPD cop who defied a
corrupt system.
The film holds up well. True to Sidney Lumet's form, he shoots it in docu-realism by going inside police precincts to
show how things work on both sides. I also love how the story is broken down into three acts: the eponymous character's
desire to be a cop, the moment he's awarded the gold shield, and the ending when he's all alone with his sheepdog.
All in all, Serpico is a bona fide Al Pacino classic.
8/11:
When I think of Al Pacino, I think of Serpico.
What a great performance. If you watch the opening credits, you'll notice that it only shows his name. That's it. The
movie is all Al Pacino as Frank Serpico. He makes for one of the coolest on-screen hero characters ever.
Unfortunately, the film isn't up to par as I hoped for. The biggest drawback is the intermittent slow pace. I wish
it was quicker just to get me into the story. Yet it's great: the hopelessness after being defeated by the morass of the
system. The ending is an instant classic.
All in all, Serpico is a top three Al Pacino film.
The Set-Up (1949)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/06
7/06:
A cross between The Maltese Falcon and
On the Waterfront, The Set-Up offers an interesting story that's
dark, gloomy, and realistic.
It has an outstanding use of chiaroscuro. I'm impressed with the unrestrained tone, having escaped the tentacles of the
Hays Code. The ending is how film noir should be defined because it's not meant to be happy. On the surface, the
boxing scenes appear to be thrilling, but unfortunately, they're stagy.
The strength of the picture is the boxer's upholding of his principles, regardless of what happens. Playing by the rules
to win the match fair and square is clouded by being offered a rich sum of money. It becomes a strong force in shaping his
decisions which will prove to be fatal.
Robert Ryan finally gets a role that works for him. It's a relief because I got tired of his bland appearance in
many films noirs. Audrey Totter is marvelous as the sensitive worrier, fearing her husband would die from boxing.
All in all, The Set-Up is a well-done piece of work by Robert Wise.
Seven (1995)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/03, 1/06, 6/20
1/06:
Blowing The Silence of the Lambs out of the water, Seven is a
brilliant neo-noir masterpiece.
The story is captivating with a shocking ending. It's hard to overcome the exquisite cinematography
which elevates the film as a whole. Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Kevin Spacey are spellbinding. None
of them received an Oscar nomination; in fact, only one went to Best Film Editing which is a shame.
All in all, Seven is one of the best films of the 90's.
6/20:
I used to think Seven was a masterpiece but not any more.
Despite the excellent photography and the unforgettable ending, it has problems that are tough to overlook.
Brad Pitt plays the most annoying, not-too-bright character with the behavior of a 12-year-old kid with ADD tendencies. It's
difficult to believe he made detective. What happened to his wife and unborn kid, I don't feel sorry for him, and
he gets his comeuppance for being interested in looking cool.
Speaking of his wife, Gwyneth Paltrow appears in two significant scenes and has the flair for melodrama. Maybe her
character should tone it down and try to, you know, mingle with the people around the city. I knew something would happen
to her because of the three dead giveaways: the picture of a woman with blood around her eyes, her revelation to Somerset
that she's pregnant, and Mills' serious character flaws as exhibited through three or four deadly sins.
It's interesting to see Morgan Freeman's character being totally prepared for this type of serial killer. The fact that he's
up to date with The Canterbury Tales and other kinds of crap is uh....preposterous. Other than that, he's fine and
gives a typical Morgan Freeman performance.
I didn't find Hannibal Lector of The Silence of the Lambs believable.
Carrying the torch of superintelligent villains, Kevin Spacey makes a surprise appearance as the killer (that's because
his name wasn't listed in the opening credits and I first saw the film in 1995). Of course, his Verbal Kint schtick is
too good to believe. Sorry, no...I'm not buying it plus John Doe's explanation is stupid and goes over the top when he
should've stayed quiet in order to bring his evil out more.
The first two murder scenes are given extensive treatment as if they're supposed to be fascinating, but the next three
are treated in a routine manner. I can barely see what happened. So, what gives? The intensity keeps going down daily.
Incidentally, it's not possible for a person to be force-fed until he bursts; ditto for being strapped to the bed for a
year. Uh...bathroom breaks, anyone?
As for the ending, the police officers have the date, time, and setting, yet nobody bothers scoping the area in
advance? The fact that it was full of power lines shouldn't be a surprise. Setting up snipers at several points is a
good idea, too.
All in all, if Brad Pitt could be less annoying, my rating of Seven would've been higher.
Seven Days in May (1964)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/16, 3/21
7/16:
Lauded by many as a fine political thriller, Seven Days in May doesn't leave me impressed which means
The Manchurian Candidate remains the gold standard.
It starts off too heavy, and I've not been able to follow the storyline until forty-five minutes into it.
Thereafter, the film is more lucid, practical, and straightforward. Basically, it's about the overthrow of the
U.S. government in the form of a military coup d'état.
Honestly, it'll never happen. The U.S. Constitution is too strong for the situtation to occur, and it certainly
won't be accomplished by die-hard Americans who have lived in the country for a while. There's so much loyalty
involved to allow such an idea to happen.
The other problem is the president appears to be all alone. It's not going to be the case. He has a lot of power
and can rely on many agencies including the CIA and the FBI to carry out his orders. He'll make a lot of things
happen before you can say "blueberry pancakes." The beauty of the U.S. Constitution is checks and balances.
They keep all of the three branches from becoming powerful. Hence, it's hard to get much accomplished in the
government.
As for the cast, everybody turns in strong performances, but there are two standouts: Fredric March and Ava
Gardner. Both are very good and make a lasting impression with plenty of subtleties. One scene Fredric March has
with Burt Lancaster in the Oval Office is brilliantly played. Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas are classy actors.
Edmond O'Brien is perfectly situated because of his noir background. Martin Balsam is fun to watch. John
Houseman stars but won't appear in a film again until The Paper Chase
nine years later which won him an Oscar.
All in all, Seven Days in May's orchestration of a military coup d'état to overthrow the U.S.
President is neither convincing nor well-developed, and there are too many factors involved to preclude it from
happening.
3/21:
Where did it go wrong in Seven Days in May?
Is it John Frankenheimer's lackluster direction? Rod Serling's leaden script? Or the absence of major stars for
a long stretch of time? To me, it's been a combination of these three. I have to say
The Enemy Within with Forest Whitaker looks slightly better in comparison.
When you have Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas in the same picture, they should be seen most of the time. But this
one, they disappear until needed to advance the plot. Who cares about either Ava Gardner or Edmond O'Brien?
They can sometimes be melodramatic.
The dialogue is either dry, dated, or hard to follow. Lack of excitement is evident much of the time. Made two
years earlier, The Manchurian Candidate kept coming to my
mind a lot, knowing how superior it was in all regards. Seven Days in May moves at a wheelchair pace.
Of course, nothing is going to happen at the end. It's been a lot of work for nothing.
At least, Fredric March shines with great, sometimes prattling, lines, and he kind of looks like Gerald Ford.
Believe it or not, it's John Houseman's first American role as Admiral Barnswell, and he won't appear in a film
again until The Paper Chase nine years later for his Oscar-winning
performance.
All in all, skip the boredom that's called Seven Days in May, and go with the bona fide political thriller:
The Manchurian Candidate.
Seven Hours to Judgment (1988)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
1/22
1/22:
My, my, my...it's so exciting when Beau Bridges is running all the time during Seven Hours to Judgment.
His character has *ding-dong* seven hours to figure out the escape game. Unfortunately, he wastes six of them by going in
random directions. With the clock running out, the jig was about to end. The mastermind is predictably killed, and it's
over.
So, what was that all about? Good question. It's a bad, bad movie because nobody thought hard about the story. If they did, it
would've been developed already, but that's not the case. The purse doesn't matter. It's still inadmissable as
evidence due to lack of integrity in terms of handling it.
As usual, Ron Leibman overacts. Beau Bridges is okay but has never directed a Hollywood picture again. Julianne Phillips
gets too much attention for no reason. Al Freeman, Jr., is wasted. If Reggie Johnson looks so familiar, it's because he
played Junior in Platoon. What the heck happened to him? He could've done more films
but disappeared after 1988.
All in all, Seven Hours to Judgment is a lot of running around in various locations and nothing else.
The Seven Year Itch (1955)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
9/13
9/13:
Let me congratulate Tom Ewell for single-handedly ruining The Seven Year Itch with his overbearing loquaciousness.
My goodness, that man won't shut the hell up for a second. And like I care whatever he says. After two days and a
change of conversing with the female neighbor, he doesn't bother to learn her name.
The Seven Year Itch is myopic because Marilyn Monroe is once again portrayed as a dumb blonde bimbo who
blindly throws herself to anyone within five feet of her. As a matter of fact, I only wanted to see the film because of
the iconic scene. When it finally appears, it's a huge letdown. Next time, Billy...show her in a full view and hold the fucking
moment. She looks magical, regardless.
All in all, although I usually love his stuff, The Seven Year Itch is the worst film of Billy Wilder's career.
Seven Years in Tibet (1997)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
8/05
8/05:
Seven Years in Tibet is Lawrence of Arabia meets
The Last Emperor minus the fighting.
Initially, I didn't know a damn thing about the Dalai Lama. Afterwards, I still don't know a damn thing about him.
Congratulations to everybody for failing to educate me.
Brad Pitt is okay, but he looks bored by all of this. His blond hair is the best of the show.
Competing with it is the nice cinematography show by Robert Fraisse.
All in all, Jean-Jacques Annaud is a poor director.
The Seven-Per-Cent Solution (1976)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/17
3/17:
The Seven-Per-Cent Solution is seven percent Holmes and ninety-three percent hogwash.
What a cast. This one includes Nicol Williamson, Robert Duvall, Alan Arkin, Jeremy Kemp, Vanessa Redgrave, Laurence Olivier,
Joel Grey, and Samantha Eggar. We're talking about seven Oscar wins and thirty nominations although Williamson and Kemp have
none.
It's too bad that the film doesn't live up to the expectations of the star-studded cast. Most of the blame lies squarely
on Herbert Ross who's frankly a mediocre director. In fact, according to Wikipedia: "[Nicholas] Meyer revealed that he had
often fought with Ross because Ross was too faithful to Meyer's novel. He believed that the script would not be cinematic
enough if it was too faithful with the source."
I've read all of the stories written by Arthur Conan Doyle at least three times, and I'm used to what Sherlock Holmes and Dr.
John Watson are like. Having seen many that feature the famed detective, I'm convinced there's no such thing
as a good Sherlock Holmes picture. The trouble is nobody, although it should be easy, knows how to give a correct
rendition of Holmes' and Watson's deportment and manner of speaking. To begin, Holmes' command of the English language is
supposed to be supreme and so are his ways in everything else.
Hence, listening to Nicol Williamson and watching how he acted as Sherlock Holmes one minute into the film, I knew
he didn't have it down pat. The same thing goes for Robert Duvall as Watson. So, the rest of the way is a wannabe
like the others. Everybody else, including Alan Arkin who's oddly miscast, is fair, but Laurence Olivier is
wasted. Why bother with him? For the most part, the players, with the exception of Nicol Williamson who
occasionally rises to the moment, go through the motions and collect their paychecks.
It's nice to hear Holmesian references being dropped from time to time, and I can remember which stories they're
talking about. The title of the film is how much the real Holmes injected himself which is a solution of
7% cocaine and 93% saline. At one point, there's an interesting game of racquetball-like tennis. I've never seen anything
like it. But the swordfighting atop the moving train is by far the most ridiculous tripe. So is Holmes' hypnotic confession
of what he saw when he was a kid.
All in all, despite the awesome collection of talented thespians, The Seven-Per-Cent Solution is a disappointing
Sherlock Holmes picture.
The Seventh Sign (1988)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
12/16
12/16:
There are a lot of things I like about The Seventh Sign, a supernatural apocalyptic picture with similar traits
as The Omen.
The story is compelling to follow, and the acting is terrific. Jürgen Prochnow of Das Boot
fame is effective, getting the ball to roll. And Michael Biehn isn't bad, either. What the heck happened to them after the
80's? It seems like they both fell off the map completely.
I can't fail to mention how good John Taylor III, who has Down syndrome, is as Jimmy Szaragosa, the killer of his parents
because he was following the Word of God. However, convicts with proven intellectual disability (more like below the IQ of
50 or so) can't be executed, no matter what.
Demi Moore was a perfect fit for Ghost based on what she did in The Seventh Sign.
Her acting holds up well, and I've enjoyed her performance. She's also beautiful. What's surprising is I didn't realize
Demi Moore was pregnant this early (she did her famous pose in an issue for Vanity magazine which was published in
1991, but the movie was made in 1988). However, her pregnant appearance, which was actually her first, was faked because
she wasn't far along in the stages, so she wore a prosthetic belly. Either way, it looks convincing.
The story was going well until the execution scene. Then, that's when the movie fell apart. There's no reason for the
priest to pull out the gun from the guard's holster (well, it's more like there was no reason for anyone to have a gun in
the first place at the prison, let alone during the death penalty phase) and aim it at the dead man walking. Regardless of
the minor inconveniences, the execution would've proceeded anyway. So, I wish the filmmakers came up with something else
more plausible.
All in all, if they could fix the climax, my rating of The Seventh Sign would be higher.
Sex, Lies, and Videotape (1989)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
7/03, 12/04, 2/07, 10/10
2/07:
James Spader is at his most cool as Graham Dalton in Sex, Lies, and Videotape.
Laura San Giacomo, Andie MacDowell, and Peter Gallagher turn in great performances with James Spader as the maestro.
All in all, Sex, Lies, and Videotape is a stunning directorial debut for Steven Soderberg.
10/10:
A sensual motion picture, Sex, Lies, and Videotape explores people's sexuality and their fears, misgivings, and
apprehensions about sex.
James Spader, Laura San Giacomo, Andie MacDowell, and Peter Gallagher give the performances of their careers. The dialogue
is first-rate, and it's hard to overcome how good and sensual the movie is.
All in all, Sex, Lies, and Videotape is my favorite James Spader film.
Sexy Beast (2000)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/14
4/14:
I remember in 2000 how awful Sexy Beast was.
Fast forward to now, trying again, my opinion remains the same. Not only that, but its also pointless. They
shouldn't have interpersed the dream sequences. What's the title supposed to indicate? Whoever gave rave reviews for Ben
Kingsley's performance must not know what the fuck he's talking about. That's not acting; it's ranting.
I'm not color blind, but I tell ya: Ray Winstone was sunburned the whole time. Interestingly,
Cavan Kendall, who plays Aitch, died shortly after the completion of the film. I find it ironical because
he looked well...tanned and fit.
All in all, Sexy Beast is a crapola picture.
Sgt. Bilko (1996)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
2/15
2/15:
Having seen a lot of military comedy pictures, it seems impossible to top M*A*S*H.
Sgt. Bilko doesn't come close at all. Sure, Steve Martin is good, and he's funny. Basically, he's the sole
reason why I decided to see the film. Yet it's the ensemble cast that lets him down frequently because nobody can be
funny as Steve Martin. Worse, it's a weak comedy film with not much of a story and no true laugh-aloud moments:
just a clever joke here and there.
Because of the distracting mirage surrounding it, the Hover Tank is obviously a fake. The funniest part is the closing credits which
read, "The filmmakers gratefully acknowledge the total lack of cooperation from the United States Army." It's true because
they didn't want anything to do with the movie.
All in all, in spite of Steve Martin, Sgt. Bilko is disappointing.
The Shadow (1994)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/10, 8/17
2/10:
The Shadow.
What a ridiculous movie. I like Alec Baldwin, but hey, is it meant to be for his brother Stephen? Is his character
supposed to be American or Chinese? If it's the latter, then well...Alec Baldwin is no Chinaman. Penelope Ann Miller
is terrible, reminding me of the same stuff that Madonna did in Dick Tracy.
John Lone...oh, boy. How much he has fallen, going from The Last Emperor to
this silly comic-book dreck, is a surprise. Well, it's a damn shame. His dilated black pupils bug
me out just like Alec Baldwin's altered facial appearance which is an unnecessary move.
Any film involving Tim Curry is bound to be terrible, and The Shadow is no exception. It's interesting to
notice the large number of supporting characters not adding a lot of substance to the grand scheme of things. The
Hall of Mirrors scene is definitely ripped off from Enter the Dragon.
All in all, The Shadow is for children.
8/17:
Alec Baldwin stars in a comic-book movie, and it's called The Shadow.
He's good in the leading role. If not for him, I don't think it would've sustained my interest for a long
period of time. The special effects are nicely blended in many scenes. Yet one of them, namely the Hall of
Mirrors, is patently ripped off from either The Lady from Shanghai or
Enter the Dragon.
The biggest trouble is the simplistic story which seems to be geared toward little kids. I think that was the main
goal the whole time. It's also sad to see John Lone be reduced to such rubbish because he did better work during
the 80's. Penelope Ann Miller is terrible. Yes, she's good-looking and more of eye candy than anything else, but
she's hopeless when it comes to developing chemistry with Alec Baldwin.
All in all, The Shadow is at best a children's film, and I mean that in a bad way.
Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/09
5/09:
Shadow of a Doubt is one of the worst Hitchcock movies I've seen.
The theme is so redundant that I knew what's going to happen at the end. In fact, it reminds me too much of
Suspicion with Cary Grant and Joan Fontaine. The dialogue sounds corny and
hopelessly dated.
Bad acting is also what did it in. Of the cast, Teresa Wright is the worst due to her one-dimensional portrayal of a
suspiciously frightened woman. Joseph Cotten isn't effective enough as the menacing killer because he happens to be a
good-looking guy with a close shave and a nice hair weave.
However, except for the first half hour, Shadow of a Doubt can be technically brilliant as the camera angles offer
innovative ways to let me see what's coming. Although the ending is impossible to accept, it's a well-shot picture.
Why does Uncle Charlie decide to rip the news article from the paper when there's no connection between him and the
murder case? He makes matters worse by arousing her niece's suspicions. The snotty-faced, voracious reader female with the
steel rimmed glasses should jump off a cliff to spare me the grief.
The poor sap, who happens to resemble Farley Granger, asks the lead female's hand for marriage which is
awkward to watch. Now, what's with the conversations between these two about committing a perfect murder? Have they
realized the deceased's closest relationship is the first starting point in any murder investigation?
All in all, Shadow of a Doubt can be impressive when it comes to camera work, but it's been an annoying picture
to sit through.
Shadow of Doubt (1998)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/21
6/21:
To avoid any confusion in regard to the Hitchcock picture, the filmmakers decided to drop the article "a" in the title, and
the result is Shadow of Doubt.
Incidentally, It's not a remake since it borrows nothing from the story featuring Teresa Wright and Joseph Cotten. To be
fair, the movie is more of Melanie Griffith's than Tom Berenger's, but there's plenty of meat for him.
Both are excellent in a different way although it's hard for me to look past her semi collagen-filled upper lip.
The nicest thing I can say about the film is that I was never bored. It moves well, and the ending is unexpected and thus
makes sense. Mainly, I was trying to figure out who did it. Now, I can see how this would be because it's been mostly
through Kitt Devereux's perspective.
The cast is interesting as it includes Huey Lewis of the band Huey Lewis and the News (he should act more often), Nina
Foch, John Ritter, Craig Sheffer, Tony Plana, and James Karen. It's the last picture for Wade Dominguez (Bobby Medina) who
passed away in 1998 at age 32 from complications of AIDS.
All in all, Shadow of Doubt is an enjoyable neo-noir thriller with solid performances by Melanie Griffth and
Tom Berenger.
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
12/12
12/12:
Hello, hello...calling for the officials of Guinness World Records.
Have I got one for them: Shadow of the Vampire for the longest, most boring opening credits to open a motion
picture. It runs for six minutes, setting the tone, hence Shadow of the Sleep. I've seen
Nosferatu several times before, and I'll tell you: it's nothing special. So, why
bother making a movie about how it was made? In fact, nothing shown is factually
true.
Hey, remember when Bram Stoker's wife sued the filmmakers of Nosferatu for copyright
infringement and won the case which caused the company to go bankrupt? Now, those of
Ed Wood can do the same based on what happened in Shadow of the Sleep.
Anyway, I'm a big fan of Willem Dafoe, but he's merely okay. But John Malkovich? Yech!
All in all, Shadow of the Sleep is my recommended cure for the raving mad insomniacs.
Shaft (1971)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
9/05, 3/17, 3/25
9/05:
Shaft is a rare example of a soundtrack being better than the movie per se.
That's why Isaac Hayes won the Oscar for composing the iconic theme song. In fact, he's the first black person
to do so in any category besides acting. Also, this is the film that made newcomer Richard Roundtree famous.
All in all, I'll have to watch Shaft later to formulate a better opinion.
3/17:
Shaft is the poster child of the Blaxploitation genre.
Last time, I was dismissive because it was slow, there was hardly a plot, and Richard Roundtree didn't make an
impression on me. Now, I like it better. There's style, and I love the gritty realism, especially the wintry
conditions of New York City.
It's not a flashy picture, and the set-up is simple enough that anyone can do the
same thing. On top of it is the Oscar-winning theme song by Isaac Hayes that has almost compelled me to say the
music is better than the movie. But Shaft is actually good.
The other example I can think of is Curtis Mayfield's soundtrack for Super Fly
which is ironically another Blaxploitation film that was directed by Gordon Parks, Jr. You can see his father
Gordon Parks, who's the first black director ever to direct a major motion picture which is this one, in the
apartment when Shaft asked for Ben Buford. By the way, the actor who had the answer is Antonio Fargas who'll end
up as Flyguy in I'm Gonna Git You Sucka.
Richard Roundtree will always be famous for playing John Shaft, the first non-stereotypical black hero. I like his
performance: just something different with no fancy stuff. His co-star Moses Gunn is also great. In comparison to
the remake with Samuel L. Jackson, the original is better with a less convoluted plot. Some of the dialogue is
funny, but at least, everything flows well. Richard Roundtree makes for a better Shaft than Samuel L. Jackson, but
I like both, regardless.
Interestingly, Isaac Hayes auditioned for the title role, but the filmmakers went with the obvious choice. Yet
they were so impressed with Isaac Hayes that they asked him to compose the music. It's how people win in different
ways. Ron O'Neal also auditioned but was turned down for not looking black enough. No matter what, he went on
to be the man in Super Fly.
All in all, armed with a budget of a bit over $1 million that resulted in the box-office take of $13 million,
Shaft is a historic film that jump-started the Blaxploitation genre which saved MGM from financial ruin.
3/25:
A strong neo-noir black picture, Shaft holds up well and is unique.
Shaft (2000)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/03, 2/05, 4/13
4/13:
John Singleton's remake of Shaft is an improvement over the original when it comes to pace, but however, it's
boring.
Replacing Richard Roundtree, Samuel L. Jackson does enough to live up to the demands of his character. Jeffrey Wright
overplays his part. Christian Bale is blah as usual. Rather, I'm put off by the entire plot. There's so much going on
that doesn't make an iota of sense.
If Walter Wade skipped bond by going to Switzerland, then he's technically a fugitive from justice, correct? Then, it should be
enough to send him to the Big House. Afterwards, what happened to the scheduled trial? Later, Spider was shivved in the heart
before being thrown out of the window from the same high-rise building where Peoples resides, yet nobody connected the dots?
If Diane Palmieri refused to testify, why harass her further? Where did Shaft get the money to replace the car? Did he dip
into the coffers of drug money to pay for it? Why were the two dirty cops acting blatantly like crooks? They
would've been indicted by the Internal Affairs long before anything bad was going to happen. Remember when Shaft gave up
his badge in the courthouse? So, why was he still acting like a cop...coming, going, and doing as he pleased? He sure
survived many shootouts with nary a scratch on his body.
All in all, as many twists and turns as there are in the plot, Shaft feels too long for a 99-minute picture,
but the theme music by Isaac Hayes is still fantastic.
Shaft in Africa (1973)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
8/06, 3/25
8/06:
Is this the best Shaft movie ever?
The black James Bond picture, Shaft in Africa showcases the best work of Richard Roundtree's career.
It's also so much better than Shaft's Big Score! What helps is the change
in director by going from Gordon Parks to John Guillermin. As for the Africa scenes, they were shot on location in
Ethiopia and Eritrea.
All in all, although Shaft in Africa was a commercial flop which ended Richard Roundtree's run as John Shaft
for good, I wouldn't have minded seeing more sequels.
3/25:
Far better than the previous part, Shaft in Africa is faster in pace and has a good story to boot, being
much along the lines of James Bond and Jason Bourne stuff.
When the original formula doesn't work anymore, all the filmmakers need to do is change it up. That's what they
did for this franchise by relocating from New York City to East Africa and Paris. The result is much better.
Richard Roundtree continues to be a perfect choice as John Shaft.
All in all, Shaft in Africa happily erases the dismal memory of
Shaft's Big Score!
Shaft's Big Score! (1972)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/05, 3/25
9/05:
Shaft's Big Score! is a laborious film to sit through.
The story is too mundane to make me care about what's going on. Whenever there's action, I yawned. On the other
hand, Richard Roundtree is perfectly fine, but he deserves better.
All in all, Shaft's Big Score! is the worst film of the franchise.
3/25:
Slow and boring, Shaft's Big Score! has nothing on the original.
While the characters take their time walking and doing things, the story fails
to grab my interest. The final thirty minutes is ridiculous when John Shaft managed to
escape unscathed after being shot at constantly from the helicopter. Speaking of the latter, I'm surprised that
it managed to go through the opening of a warehouse and still be flying inside.
It's nice to see Richard Roundtree and Moses Gunn back, but there's nothing they can do to save the lackluster film.
Obviously, this was a cash-grab job for everybody when Ernest Tidyman should've taken his time to develop the
script by thinking about what worked in the original which was hip and edgy. At the same time, MGM failed to resign
Isaac Hayes because he wanted more money despite the fact a different song of his can be heard during the film.
By the way, Bumpy's right-hand man is played by Drew Bundini Brown. He used to be Muhammad Ali's assistant
trainer and cornerman and was the one who came up with the famous line for him: "Float like a butterfly, sting
like a bee, rumble, young man, rumble."
All in all, Shaft's Big Bore! is more like it.
Shakespeare in Love (1998)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
3/15
3/15:
Ah, Virginia, but the story takes place in 1593 and the colony didn't exist until 1607.
Ah, Shakespeare is single and in love with a rich lady, but the real Shakespeare was married and had three kids.
Ah, Romeo and Juliet, but it wasn't originally written by William Shakespeare who only improved it further.
Ah, the fully haired Joseph Fiennes with a bit of a beard underneath his neckline, but the real Shakespeare was half bald
and sported a well-developed beard.
Ah, the inconspicious Elizabeth I is seen at the theater, but it can't be possible without the massive royal entourage
which would've attracted attention.
Ah, Will, but it'll be worse if they called him Bill or, better yet, Billy.
If you ask me to name some of the worst Best Picture winners ever, Shakespeare in Love immediately comes to my mind.
It's quite bad. Hence, Saving Private Ryan was the rightful choice.
Why...just watch the Omaha Beach scene.
Half of the screenplay is line-for-line copied from Romeo and Juliet. Yet oddly, William Shakespeare isn't credited
as the writer of the screenplay. Hence, I believe it's called plagiarism. The other moiety contains some of the most
rubbish language I've ever heard. It's because I've read a lot of classics and know what to expect. Yet it sounds nothing
that's remotely close to the richness of the English language. Hence, it took me four days to complete the film as I
kept falling asleep due to the incessancy of theatrics.
As for the acting, it's so appalling bad that I can't believe there are Oscar winners and nominations out of this tripe. Of
them all, Gwyneth Paltrow turns in the worst performance I've seen from an Oscar winner in decades. It's incomprehensible
that she got away with pretending to be a man. On the other hand, Joseph Fiennes is obviously recruited for his looks,
has no acting talent, and belongs in the background of a George Michael's black-and-white rock video.
Shockingly, Judi Dench won the Oscar for her seemingly two-minute performance. If there's a case when costumes had won the
day, it's this. Wearing her overdone apparel with the hideously-looking carrot top, Judi Dench looks stupid and even more
when she's compared to what the real Elizabeth I looked like in oil paintings. The way she spoke is also unbecoming
of royalty.
All in all, despite the lavish costumes, Shakespeare in Love was highly praised for the wrong reasons when
it's, in fact, a never-ending film of monkeys in clown suits pretending to act.
Shallow Grave (1994)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/10
11/10:
By courtesy of the New York Newsday, the tagline on the VHS cover of Shallow Grave exclaims,
"Pulp Fiction fans take note. Have I got a picture for you!"
I'm sorry, but I don't see it being in the same league as the Tarantino classic. It's merely a wannabe. Where's the
appeal in three shallow, hence the title of the film, despicable characters? And the filmmakers expect me to like
this crap because it's..."hip"?
The likeness of two main characters is interesting: one is a Jodie Foster look-alike but with bad teeth and the other
resembles the villain from Ghost but with eyeglasses. Lacking a great deal of
intelligence, Shallow Grave reminds me of a Hitchcock film that I hated:
The Trouble with Harry.
Does anyone realize there are holes all over the ceiling? Why aren't they spotted by police inspectors?
Psychologically, committing murder isn't as simple as it appears to be. Try reading Fyodor Dostoyevsky's
Crime and Punishment to understand what it's like to have a guilty conscience afterwards.
All in all, Shallow Grave is for the gullible sheeple.
Shampoo (1975)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/06
10/06:
I'm not sure what's beyond me: Shampoo chosen by American Film Institute for one of the best comedies made or Lee
Grant winning the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.
In case if you're wondering which character Lee Grant was playing, I'll give you a small hint: it's not Jackie. That's
Julie Christie. If you still don't know who Jackie is, here's even a better hint: it's the heavily tanned gal with a great
figure but an ugly face who happens to be the mistress, not the wife. Wait a minute...which one is that? Now, you've
just proved my point.
Shampoo is more of a drama than a comedy picture, leaving me bored to tears. It's so dated with some of the most
hideous-looking hairdos ever. Acting like a goof, Warren Beatty is in dire need of a proper haircut. The top of his head looks
like a nest, and I thought birds would fly out of it.
All in all, time hasn't been kind to Shampoo.
Shane (1953)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
7/05, 6/17
7/05:
*whistles* Gosh Almighty, that is good!
I guess it's the appropriate reaction after seeing Shane. It's a beautiful film, winning only one Oscar, out of six
nominations, for Best Cinematography. From Here to Eternity was the other
winner but for the black-and-white category.
Alan Ladd is iconic as the eponymous hero: the man with a past. Brandon deWilde is special. Van Heflin, Jean Arthur, and
Jack Palance all turn in terrific performances. The ending is an unforgettable classic and will never get old.
All in all, Shane is one of the greatest movies of all time.
6/17:
Shane is an all-time Western classic.
Anytime I hear somebody's name is Shane, I think of the movie. There are a lot of themes at play, and the most important is
community. Largely responsible for two classic scenes, Brandon deWilde's reaction of Shane's shooting skill and calling
out after him at the end makes Joey the most important character. Without him, the movie won't be special.
By the sight of Alan Ladd, it's immediately obvious that he plays an iconic character.
Hence, there's the second most important theme: hero. Shane and Joey's father are two different types of heroes. The
former is what people are conditioned to see which focuses on the glamorous aspects while the latter is a real-life
everyday person who has to live with the highs and lows of life.
After hearing and witnessing problems in the village, Shane could've said, "Ah, screw this. I'm leaving," but he
chose to stay. It makes him a quiet hero, but Shane turns into a bigger one when he decides to fight the homesteaders'
battles. It's when he took on the image of a mythical hero: the kind that Joey loves.
Joe is on the other side of the coin; he could've given up everything that he worked for and taken his family elsewhere.
But he chose to stay even it was going to cost him his life. Joe is a hero: the one that Joey should be paying attention
to. Eventually, he'll realize it, but at this particular time, he's too young to understand.
I want to clarify something else. Van Heflin, not Alan Ladd, is actually the leading actor. The movie is about his
character and his family. Alan Ladd and Brandon deWilde are the supporting players, ready to lend Van Heflin a hand when
needed. Another thing is that Shane can be thought of as a romantic picture. There are some critics who said Marian
has unspoken feelings for Shane. Uhhhh...no, that's 100% wrong. It's the boy who has intense feelings for him. What Marian
had with Shane is strictly platonic.
As for the Oscars, Van Heflin should've been nominated, but what a shock that Jack Palance was nominated for Best Supporting
Actor instead of Alan Ladd. How the Academy snubbed him is a big mystery because it's impossible to overlook his instant
contribution to the film. Jean Arthur got snubbed, too, having come out of retirement after five
years to appear in the film as a favor to George Stevens. Then, she never came back to Hollywood for the rest of her life.
As great as Jean Arthur looked, she was fifty years old and wore heavy makeup with a wig.
Jack Palance has like five minutes of screen time. Everybody is only gaga over him because they love how cool he moved
and all that crap. Please. He's merely a plot device. By the way, the cast is interesting because of the
presence of four film noir veterans: Van Heflin, Alan Ladd, Jack Palance, and Elisha Cook, Jr. How the last
two got killed is a sight to behold in terms of how they were pulled back after being shot, along with the sound, which had a
lasting influence on violence in future films.
According to IMDb: "Meticulous care was taken at all levels of production. All the physical props were true to the period,
the buildings were built to the specifications of the time, and the clothing was completely authentic. Director George
Stevens even had somewhat scrawny-looking cattle imported from other areas, as the local herds looked too well-fed and
healthy."
All in all, thanks to Loyal Griggs' award-winning cinematography of Wyoming, Shane is a special picture.
Shanghai Surprise (1986)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
1/05, 3/09
3/09:
No, no, no...absolutely no fucking Madonna.
What was I thinking? The first time I saw Shanghai Surprise, I thought it was okay. Maybe I hadn't seen
enough movies to be a good judge or didn't pay closer attention. The story is creative and easy to follow,
but it's dumb and full of holes. While the cinematography isn't bad, the dialogue needs work.
If somebody has Faraday's flowers, then the opium can be sold off by the gram. At the end, when Faraday found out
the trunk was taken by Wasey, he should've jumped off the ship and swam back to the port. By the way, whenever
Sean Penn is left alone by his then-wife Madonna, the movie works well. But as soon as she's back, everything
falls apart.
All in all, don't be fooled by Madonna's blond hair; she sucks in acting, period.
Shanghaied (1915)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/07
8/07:
After being positive about the outcome of The Bank, I couldn't help but feel there may
be some credence to this comedic "genius" that keeps being associated with Charlie Chaplin.
Instead, I got shanghaied like a hand that slapped the back of my head after seeing Shanghaied. It looks like Charlie
Chaplin is a goddamn retard after all.
All in all, Shanghaied is a wretched movie experience.
Sharky's Machine (1981)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
11/20
11/20:
Sharky's Machine is an uneven neo-noir mix of good and mediocre.
I give Burt Reynolds credit for simultaneously directing and starring in the film. It has a few interesting
cinematic elements. One of them is the camera following the characters as they walk downstairs. It's a unique shot.
Another I like is when Burt Reynolds came alive in a gritty manner during the second half.
Unfortunately, the movie is boring and can sometimes be corny, playing for cheap laughs. The long stakeout during
the middle was getting to me. It also has an ill-advised hammy performance by Charles Durning. Had he behaved
normally, my rating would be a point higher. Some of the dialogue is painful to keep a straight face at.
Make no doubt, Sharky's Machine is as neo-noir as it gets. The feel is there, and Burt Reynolds is
deliberate about building it up. He's perfect for the role and has some great movie moments, especially when he's
at his character's childhood home with Rachel Ward, her first major film role.
All in all, if Burt Reynolds kept Sharky's Machine strictly a cop thriller, it would do better.
Shattered (1991)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/19
11/19:
Sometimes, in order to enjoy a movie, almost 100% suspension of disbelief is necessary, and that's the case with
Shattered.
Yeah, the whole thing works for a murder-mystery picture, but the moments of serious implausibility are numerous, enough
to strain the film's credibility. Nevertheless, it's still an enjoyable fanfare with solid acting and a shocking
twist that I didn't see coming.
First of all, there's no way a person can look like somebody else on purpose by the means of plastic surgery.
Face/Off made a clever stab at it, but the concept won't happen for real. Inside the wrecked ship, a body was
dumped in a vat of formaldehyde. But pray tell me, to what purpose does it serve? That's reaching for convenience's sake.
While at it, a private investigator is shot in the chest but miraculously survives, and it's all due to his inhaler? I wonder
how he made to the hospital after being alone and looked just fine in a few hours despite getting a sling for
his arm. When the car was driven off the cliff and the wife jumped out of it at fifty to hundred feet in the air, how is it
possible that she sustained no major injuries? Similarly, as she gunned for it in the same manner at high speed, Dan
Merrick (Tom Berenger) was thrown out of the car and looked none the worse for wear.
I'm okay with Corbin Bernsen's character disappearing for a long period of time because he ultimately ended up as a red
herring. Ditto for Merrick's secretary who was acting awkward on purpose to insinuate a possible affair or
involvement with the whole thing.
All in all, never mind the high volume of ridiculousness, Shattered should be accepted for what it is: a darned good
murder-mystery thriller.
Shattered Dreams (1990)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
Shattered Dreams is an okay telefilm that aired on CBS about battered woman syndrome, but
The Burning Bed was more compelling.
The trouble is I didn't care about Charlotte Fedders. She had plenty of signals that something wasn't right
with her husband, even before they were set to be married. Her parents, friends, and neighbors told her so,
too, but she ignored them all, preferring to believe what she wanted to believe. Eventually, she woke up and
decided to leave him.
The thing is Charlotte Fedders was intelligent and came from medium-high income class while Francine Hughes of
The Burning Bed was neither and didn't know any better. Why
Shattered Dreams failed to draw sympathy from me is that it left out many people including both
spouses' parents, friends, and associates. By doing so, it wants me to think their world is small and they live
in a vacuum when John Fedders was actually a major player in Washington, D.C.
Anyway, the acting is fine with Michael Nouri stealing most of the attention only because he looks so normal
and determined. The real guy himself was taller, measuring at 6'10". There's a pattern he has honed to
perfection: every time he beats up his wife, he says the right words to coax her back into the marriage and
she falls for it every single time. The only thing I could say was "good grief."
All in all, no disrespect to Charlotte Fedders is intended as I recommend
The Burning Bed over Shattered Dreams.
Shattered Glass (2003)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/24
4/24:
I never heard of the magazine, The New Republic, or the disgraced writer, Stephen Glass, until I saw
Shattered Glass.
"The true story that shocked the nation"? Yeah, sure. Then, why did it gross a bit more than $2 million against a
budget of $6 million? The answer is: it's awash in pretentiousness. Even Stephen Glass' book The Fabulist
was a commercial failure, having sold 5,000 copies in 2014. Hence, the film is hard to care about although the
second half is strong by getting to the core with shades of
All the President's Men.
Reserved for the top 0.1% of the population, the subject matter isn't interesting. Although the character is an
outlier, the pathological liar that he is, the truth is all news media have lost credibility many years ago. When
one, especially in school, asks, "What are some of the credible news sources?", the joke is on him because the
correct answer is: there isn't any. Money shapes news; that's why you don't hear anything bad about top companies
because they control the advertising dollars.
You can think of The New York Times, The Washington Post (which is owned by Amazon in what's the
biggest conflict of interest there is), Rolling Stone, ABC, CBS, NBC, and CNN, among others. They've been
making up crap left and right such as Jayson Blair and the UVA rape case. If not that, then they're withholding
the truth from the public because if they did report it, their access such as the White House would be lost for good.
Thus, U.S. President Joe Biden has been getting away with whatever for so long despite his obvious senility and
criminal history.
Back to the film, the cast is strong, but it's Hayden Christensen and Peter Sarsgaard who stand out the most. The
former is like a ten-year-old mother's boy who won't grow up while the latter is calm and patient about the
situation by getting the full details first before making a decision. If there's any indication of extreme guilt,
it's Hayden Christensen's body language in terms of his face becoming beet red while sweating so much. Hence, it's
a surprise that his character didn't kill the editor.
All in all, Shattered Glass is a well-done film about journalism ethics, but don't be fooled: it's been
going on for a long, long time and is widely practiced by virtually every news media in the United States.
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
5/03, 12/03, 9/06, 6/15, 4/24
9/06:
Over time, The Shawshank Redemption is magically transformed from an ordinary prison film to a genuine neo-noir
classic.
Benefitting from Frank Darabont's well-written screenplay and powerful direction and Roger Deakins' cinematography, Tim
Robbins' and Morgan Freeman's performances lift the film off the ground and let it fly like the human spirit. Bob Gunton,
Clancy Brown, and James Whitmore are outstanding as well.
All in all, The Shawshank Redemption is The Count of Monte Cristo of prison pictures.
6/15:
Like It's a Wonderful Life, The Shawshank Redemption is one of those films
that take a while to achieve the
"classic" status because it was initially a box-office failure despite the seven Academy Award nominations.
The biggest reason is that Pulp Fiction and
Forrest Gump ruled cinema in 1994. As time went on, it had
been clear that The Shawshank Redemption was the superior picture. Well, it has everything I look for
in a film. Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman are unforgettable. Three more actors who didn't get enough credit for
their supporting performances are Bob Gunton, Clancy Brown, and James Whitmore.
The best movie moment is when Andy Defresne looked up to the sky in the middle of the rain after he broke out of the
Shawshank State Prison. Another one is the baseball scene with Red and Andy. The legend is they shot it for nine
hours with Morgan Freeman throwing the ball during the entire time. The next day, he showed up at work with his arm in a sling.
Remember the black guy who yelled, "Fresh fish! Fresh fish today! We're reeling 'em in!"? That's his son. Although the prison
is fictional, the building isn't as it's the Ohio State Reformatory which is now a museum that's located in Mansfield.
All in all, The Shawshank Redemption is among the best films of the 90's.
4/24:
The Shawshank Redemption is still a classic.
She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/17
5/17:
Here's an example of an important film that has become hopelessly dated over time: She Done Him Wrong.
Not many can claim to save a major studio from the brink of bankruptcy, but this one did
for Paramount Pictures, thanks to Mae West. And thanks to Mae West again for her sexually suggestive manners
and double entendres, the notorious Hays Code finally went into effect that would last until the late 60's.
Running for a bit more than an hour, She Done Him Wrong remains the shortest film to be Oscar-nominated for Best
Picture (which was then called "Outstanding Production"). I suppose it's easily accomplished when there were ten eligible
contenders at the time, the apogee of the Great Depression, a practice that would be discontinued eleven years later.
Give Mae West credit: she demanded Louise Beavers, a black actress, to be given a role, which is unheard of, in the hopes of
breaking the racial discrimination. That's why I found her appearance highly unusual back then. Cary Grant may be in
the movie, but in reality, he's bland as ever and it's impossible to see any star quality in him. Hence, it's interesting
how somebody like Cary Grant could come out of nowhere to be a silver screen icon.
As for Mae West, she, apart from the nonsensical plot, is the biggest flaw. I can't place her; she doesn't look
like a woman but a 40-year-old Porky Pig in drag. Her supposedly innuendoes aren't good and often fall flat, and she
can't sing, either. Every time Mae West tries to be sexy, she comes off as silly and not believable. I can
understand why men were infatuated with her in 1933, but the arrival of blonde bombshells in the next twenty-five years
had taken her down by several notches.
All in all, an iconoclast picture in its own right, She Done Him Wrong is dull and dated.
The Sheik (1921)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
After seeing Rudolph Valentino's name over and over in books, I thought it's high time to check out The Sheik.
And yep, it's exactly as I thought. That's why silent movies suck. They're simply BORING. The plot of The Sheik
is pretty simple: female slavery. It's hard to get into the film while that's going on apart from everybody, except for
Sheik Ahmed Ben Hassan, looking so white to pass for an Arab. The whole thing was obviously shot on location in California.
I expected rape to occur, but that was cut out although it's mentioned in the book written by E. M. Hull.
Sex symbol? Ha! Rudolph Valentino shows absolutely no trace of it, but he was actually a better-looking person when out of
costume while acting more like himself as evidenced in Rudolph Valentino and His 88 American Beauties and
The Sheik's Physique. What makes him unattractive in The Sheik is the way he moves his eyebrows up and
down and how often he carries his cigarette.
All in all, Rudolph Valentino may be famous for The Sheik, but it's a terribly boring movie that makes an
unconvincing case of why he was a sex symbol back then.
Sheltering Sky (1990)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/17
11/17:
If I thought Sheltering Sky reminded me of Professione: reporter with
Jack Nicholson and Maria Schneider, then I was right because Mark Peploe wrote the screenplay for both pictures.
They're practically the same except I like the former more because it's coherent, easy to get into, and interesting to
watch. Now, if anyone wants to be convinced of the potential dangers when it comes to traveling, most especially in exotic
locations, it's best idea to start with this movie.
A common problem for international travelers is typhoid which occurs by coming in contact with contaminated water and food.
It's worldwide apart from industrialized regions such as the United States, Canada, Western Europe, Australia, and
Japan. Some symptoms include high fever, weakness, stomach pains, headache, and loss of appetite.
Sheltering Sky was going well until John Malkovich's character died of the disease. Then, the movie
went down in the drain because he could always hold my attention, no matter what. It's a big mistake of Bernardo
Bertolucci to commit cinema suicide this early. And what happened to Campbell Scott? He just disappeared.
Of course, the best part is Vittorio Storaro's lush cinematography of Northern Africa. It certainly rivals
Lawrence of Arabia. When I think of Bernardo Bertolucci's pictures, this is
what I expect. By the way, if you weren't sure who the old man was at the end of the film, that's Paul Bowles who wrote
the book in 1949. He was born in New York City and chose, at the age of 37, to spend the next fifty-two years in Tangier
before passing away.
All in all, Sheltering Sky may not fulfill all the qualities of a masterpiece, but it's a well-paced,
enjoyable movie that's set on an amazing landscape with pleasant acting performances.
Sherlock, Jr. (1924)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/15
3/15:
Sherlock, Jr. is my first Buster Keaton movie.
I had been reluctant in going through it because of my bad experience with Charlie Chaplin's trash. After seeing
the film, I've come to some definite conclusions:
1. Buster Keaton is way better than Charlie Chaplin.
2. But he's not funny.
3. He only has talent for physical acting.
4. I can predict everything by a mile before they happen.
5. The editing is impressive. But if I think about it more, it's obvious the reel was stopped at a certain point to be cut
and blended together with a different film strip to make the scene to be one continuous movement.
6. It's difficult to consider silent cinema worth bothering with.
All in all, although technically brilliant, Sherlock, Jr. has no story or pace and lacks comedy.
She's Having a Baby (1988)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/21
7/21:
She's Having a Baby is one of the worst John Hughes pictures ever.
I thought I had seen them all, but somehow, this one escaped my attention. Needless to say, it was a major box-office
stinker in 1988, grossing $16 million against a budget of $20 million. Right after that, Hughes went back to his
tried-and-true formula by doing another John Candy movie entitled
Uncle Buck which takes place in Chicago for the umpteenth time.
Well, it's easy to pinpoint where it went wrong, and that's the zero chemistry between Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern.
Once it happened, She's Having a Baby was pretty much DOA. My intelligence got insulted when Kevin Bacon's character
started to think about the positive times with his wife as she was near death. John Hughes implemented the flashback
technique so much better for Steve Martin in
Planes, Trains & Automobiles.
What I don't like is the randomness of one scene to another. Wont to John Hughes' trademark style, I thought the film was
a comedy, but it turned out to be a serious drama. True Love with Annabella
Sciorra and Ron Eldard has a similar theme except that it stops right after the wedding yet makes a good point about
being trapped by the reality of marriage which is something the characters didn't think a lot about.
Let's be real: Elizabeth McGovern sucks. She isn't an actress but a porcelain doll with pretty blue eyes. It's no wonder why
her career fizzled out after the 80's. She doesn't do any favors for Kevin Bacon who seems to be out of place constantly.
His character's daydreams are annoying, and so is the overbearing music. The neighbor crap is a stupid waste of time.
Not showing up much, Alec Baldwin steals the show with his truth talk. Besides him, do Jake and Kristy have any more
friends? And neither has siblings given how much both families have harping on having children? Years pass, and Jake and
Kristy still look the same while coming off as strangers to each other. To tell you the truth, I find it very bizarre.
All in all, She's Having a Baby can be summed up as follows: a boy and a girl get married, don't know each other
and probably never will, and have a baby, and...the end.
She's So Lovely (1997)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
12/10
12/10:
As I notice the amount of secondhand smoke in the air throughout She's So Ugly, it's safe to surmise the thespians
lost ten years of their lives.
It's hard to sit through this piece of crap because I was watching a train wreck. I keep seeing the nasty-looking
bump on Harry Dean Stanton's forehead. He and Debi Mazar should consider retirement from acting because they plain stink.
Robin Wright Penn is bad as in Julianne Moore/Sandra Bullock/Nicole Kidman bad. Speaking of gross, I can't believe how
her character poisoned her fetus with so much alcohol, tobacco, and drugs. Then, I'm insulted when it turns out to
be a healthy baby. Uh, uh...that never happens in real life as she should've had full-blown Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
Sean Penn, for the umpteenth time, breaks down and cries, feeling sorry (for who?). That's why I'm tired of him.
It's always the same shit in every movie he does. As for his character, after spending ten years in the institution, this
is how much he has changed? John Travolta finally appears. I was hoping he would alleviate my pain, but nope. He begins
to stink the joint with his obnoxious behavior. Why is anyone, especially with money, interested in a plain woman
from the gutters who's beaten up, on drugs, and out of it?
All in all, She's So Ugly insults my intelligence to no end.
Shichinin no samurai (1954)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/06, 12/08
3/06:
Shichinin no samurai, which is better known as Seven Samurai, is a long, boring Japanese picture in
spite of some nice moments.
Just because everybody says it's the best thing since sliced bread doesn't mean I have to join them; at least two hours
should be cut out. Although there are seven samurai, I felt like I got to know to three of them. Playing Kikuchiyo,
Toshiro Mifune is terrible as he runs around, jumps up and down, and grunts like a demented ape. What
are we...kindergartners?
All in all, Shichinin no samurai means, in Japanese, seven weeks of hibernation.
12/08:
Instead of "wow," I said, "Finally."
Seven Samurai is too long and one of the most boring three-plus-hour pictures I've seen in my life. This one
took me two solid weeks to complete it, and I actually ran a marathon in less time. Every time I got back to the film, I
would pass out from ennui not long after.
The plot is simplistic, and there isn't much to look at; everybody needs to get to the action already.
Seven Samurai is claimed to be the best film to ever come out of Japan. Really, I shudder to think of what else its
cinema has to offer. I can't remember any of the characters' names except for Yoshei. Then again, I don't know which of
them is Yoshei. That's how bad the movie is.
All in all, Seven Samurai is long, boring, and pointless.
Shine (1996)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/14
6/14:
I remember seeing Shine when it was released in 1996 and thinking it was a pretty good film, and after trying again,
my opinion still holds up.
Geoffrey Rush may have won the Oscar, but I'm surprised Noah Taylor didn't merit one in a tie because he was also
very good, if not better than Geoffrey. It made me think of Daniel Day-Lewis winning the Oscar for
My Left Foot when Hugh O'Conor, the child, gave the same kind of performance.
Armin Mueller-Stahl and John Gielgud are also excellent. The story is interesting, but after reading David Helfgott's
background, there's, unfortunately, a great deal of fabrication. The film may deliver quality music; however in
reality, David Helfgott's is anything but. The trouble with his playing is that it's technical, angry, and emotionally
devoid: a rendition which is performed by rote memorization with no proper pace. Nevertheless, it doesn't diminish the film
as a whole.
All in all, Shine is an inspiring picture.
Shining Through (1992)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/23
3/23:
Melanie Griffith is a competent actress, but she can be easily miscast as evidenced in Shining Through.
At first, I thought it was Michael Douglas' movie, but he's barely shown much. Hence, it's all about Melanie
Griffith with a bit of help from him. I think he got sold by the heroic ending of carrying her to
the Swiss border while being shot multiple times which didn't leave me impressed anyway.
The biggest reason why the film was able to work is the high production value. However, it begins to go south
when there's a lot of emphasis on the ability to speak the German language early on yet is discarded by the time
everybody lands in Germany. Also, there are many ridiculous scenes like Margrete turning out to be a double agent
and Linda (Lina?) running so fast across the city during the bombing. Modern running shoes, anyone?
It doesn't help when Liam Neeson has been downgraded; he played Oskar Schindler, for goodness' sake, in one of
the greatest movies made although it was released a year later. Another problem is his character, an SS officer
no less, developed a suspicion when he heard about the whereabouts of his servant years ago but did nothing
about it.
All in all, Shining Through isn't the worst picture of 1992, but Melanie Griffith, who admitted at the
time that she didn't realize the Holocaust happened, is too American to pass for a German.
Ship of Fools (1965)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
10/11
10/11:
Ship of Fools is literally a ship of fools.
A washed-up ballplayer is a fool because he can't stop stalking women for sex.
A queen wannabe, which is probably true of Vivien Leigh in real life, is a fool because she thinks she's above everybody.
A proud patriot is a fool because he thinks he's the best German alive. His mistress is a fool because she thinks he exudes
power.
A Jewish is a fool because he can't understand how dangerous things will be in the future despite the anti-Semitic
talks.
An artist is a fool because he lets his meaningless art be the center of his life. His girlfriend is a fool because she
thinks living without him will be empty.
A doctor is a fool because a lady wants him for his drugs.
A countess is a fool because she's trying to make people feel sorry for her.
A captain is a fool because he thinks he knows everything.
A religious man is a fool because the bible is full of rubbish stories.
A dwarf is a fool because...hmm, that's tough to figure out.
However many characters there are on the ship, my favorite is Dr. Wilhelm Schumann who steals the film in every scene. He's
the only one who actually "gets" it. In a way, these fools are survivors of some sort.
What makes it so great, apart from the strong performances and the stimulating conversations, is the foreshadowing
of Nazism that'll take over Germany in the following decade. Hence, it's a haunting film. My favorite conversations are
between the countess and the ship doctor although I find Lowenthal's with anyone equally good, too.
The cast is unbelievable: lots of Oscar winners and nominees on the same ship. However, I'm going to dock a point for the
film because it can sometimes be uneven and too long that walks a fine line between overdone and simplistic.
As much as I like Lee Marvin, he wasted his time playing a pathetic character when he's more suited for action films
like The Killers, The Dirty Dozen, and
The Big Red One. At least, he got the chance to spend some
quality time with Vivien Leigh in the final film of her brilliant but brief career before she passed away two years later.
All in all, Ship of Fools is a great picture that'll stand the test of time.
Shivering Sherlocks (1948)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
Once again, the Three Stooges are funny in Shivering Sherlocks.
This one is almost better than the others but loses momentum in the last five minutes. There's no question Shemp
steals the show.
All in all, Shivering Sherlocks is a good pickup for anyone interested in the Three Stooges.
Shock Corridor (1963)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/14
6/14:
Schlock Corridor is what a crap film looks like.
In fact, it's an art picture that goes nowhere while putting me to sleep. In a way, because of the newspaperman's
stripper girlfriend, it has an Ed Wood, Jr., feel with random, poorly connected scenes. An excuse for the lack of a plot,
the only motivation driving the film is: who murdered Sloane?
What's weird is how heavily laden the political messages are. Was Samuel Fuller trying to perform a subconscious trick
on me? Well, at any rate, it's a boring picture to sit through because all I can think of is: "How credible will these
witnesses be in the eyes of court?"
The idea of a perfectly sane person becoming insane after spending some time in the lunatic asylum is doubtful. It's no
surprise that, after two stinkers through Schlock Corridor and The Naked Kiss,
Samuel Fuller's career nosedived although he did churn out a respectable war picture entitled
The Big Red One with Lee Marvin.
All in all, Schlock Corridor sucks, and Samuel Fuller is an idiot director.
Shocker (1989)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/10
11/10:
Wes Craven is the Master of Suck.
The more terrible movies Wes makes, the greater his rank climbs in my Worst Directors list. He's the Ed Wood, Jr.,
of horror pictures. Shocker is the prime example of what I mean.
All in all, Wes Craven should retire forevermore, so he can stop creating rubbish.
Shoot to Kill (1988)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
9/15
9/15:
Sometimes, it takes a wrong director to screw up a potentially good film, and that's what Roger Spottiswoode did with
Shoot to Kill.
Sidney Poitier's (who comes back after a ten-year hiatus when he should've stayed retired) and Tom Berenger's acting have
never been more horrible. Both are capable of doing better, so it's disappointing to see their abilities be wasted.
Everything seems to go well from the outset with Sidney Poitier's character in pursuit of the killer, but the film
begins to fall apart when he's partnered up with Tom Berenger who can only express one emotion: pissed-off anger.
Kirstie Alley is wasted as evidenced at the end because there's no wrap-up scene between her character and boyfriend after
what they went through. Hardly much care is shown to her situation, either.
A big mistake is the use of slapstick relief, reducing the film's credibility as a serious high mountain policier
adventure. So is the early revelation of the killer's identity which isn't hard to figure out. Once it's known, there
goes the mystery out of the window. Nevertheless, Shoot to Kill has several interesting moments when it comes to
dealing with nature. If fully explored in depth, it'll make the film more interesting like how it was done for
Alive and Sorcerer.
All in all, Roger Spottiswoode is an expert in directing mediocre films.
Short Cuts (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/18
5/18:
I got to give it to Robert Altman for making something out of nothing in Short Cuts.
There are many parallel stories, nine in total, which are interesting to follow, and even better is the strong cast which
includes Tim Robbins, Matthew Modine, Fred Ward, Anne Archer, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Bruce Davison, Robert Downey, Jr.,
Madeleine Stowe, Chris Penn, Jack Lemmon, Frances McDormand, Lori Singer, Andie MacDowell, Peter Gallagher, Lily Tomlin, Tom
Waits, Alex Trebek, and Lyle Lovett, among others.
Of the ensemble, Jennifer Jason Leigh plays the most interesting character because there's something decidedly cold and
detached in what she does for a living. That much is reflected by Chris Penn's facial reactions. Leigh's phone sex
conversations were line-for-line of the calls she heard during her research.
All in all, Short Cuts is all over the map, but I have to give Robert Altman credit for keeping me
absorbed by various characters, who are often real, for three straight hours.
Short Eyes (1977)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/21
1/21:
Gritty and realistic, Short Eyes is a hardcore jail picture that's disturbing to watch with a lot of actors from
Miami Vice.
If its goal is to deter people from committing crimes by showing what jail life is like, then the message is effective.
These characters are truly animals and belong there. I hope never to see or interact with them. They talk a lot of
bullshit, too, for the sole purpose of fucking with people's minds.
In many ways, Short Eyes is a play, and it takes place in two rooms: cell block and multipurpose. The characters
shift back and forth. There may be some overt physical violence, but the rest of it has been subtle in the psychological
sense. Politics and race wars are dealt with as well.
The talks between Juan and Clark are weird. My opinion is they're like timeouts from reality which is similar
to Tom Wingfield's soliloquies in The Glass Menagerie. The stuff Clark says is disturbing and not usual in movies.
Natural acting is evident, especially from Joseph Carberry, José Pérez, and Shawn Elliott as Shoe, Juan, and Paco,
respectively. The guy with the glasses is Curtis Mayfield who's famous for composing the soundtrack for
Super Fly. A very young-looking Luis Guzmán makes his screen debut. Well-known actors
Bruce Davison and Mark Margolis are included, too. So is Joe Pesci, believe it or not.
The guy who had his arm broken between bars is Miguel Piñero who also wrote the play. He was in and out of jails and
prisons for a long time; hence, I can see how this is a realistic movie. As life imitates art, Tito Goya, who plays
Cupcakes, was later arrested for murder and died while out on bail pending the trial.
All in all, anyone who enjoyed Oz should see Short Eyes.
A Shot at Glory (2000)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
11/20
11/20:
Um, Robert...come back to the United States when you're done with faking a Scottish accent.
Anyway, A Shot at Glory is a nice but odd soccer picture. If it was intended for the UK audience, they should
be familiar with the content but would probably laugh at several actors. On the other hand, the American audience
should be puzzled as I am as to why they're watching soccer that takes place in Scotland. Either way, the non-sport drama is
flat and not compelling.
The reason for my rating of '6' is the soccer part; the scenes are about as good as
Victory with Sylvester Stallone, Michael Caine, and Pelé. However, the latter has
a simple story while I'm absolutely lost when it comes to how the Scottish Cup format works for the former. Maybe the
goalie should stop punching the ball and start catching it to avoid the silly mistakes.
Playing Jackie McQuillan, Ally McCoist, a real-life Scottish footballer, has a natural acting ability, and I keep
mistaking him for Russell Crowe. Robert Duvall is typical most of the time. Michael Keaton is miscast, but he's actually
of Scottish heritage. Pretty eyes but showing too much makeup, Kirsty Mitchell doesn't either belong in the picture or
have a lot to add to the story; her character might as well be a "one-time fling" which resulted in a son for Jackie.
The ending is a disappointment, wasting two hours of my time, but it's not as bad as compared to the idiot fans who spent
countless hours and money following the season and the postseason only to be crushed by the outcome of the championship
game. What did they get out of it, honestly? Now, I can imagine the sheer amount of time wasted on a 162-game baseball
season given the failed outcome of the World Series.
All in all, A Shot at Glory will do if you like soccer.
A Shot in the Dark (1964)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/18
6/18:
A Shot in the Dark is a more improved and funnier picture than the prequel
The Pink Panther.
During the 37th Academy Awards, when David Niven walked on the stage to present an award, the
The Pink Panther
theme was being played. He requested it to be changed, stating, "That was not really my film." His sentiment is absolutely
true. It was Peter Sellers' despite his supporting role. Hence, he got the lead and the most screen time
for the sequel with a completely revamped cast.
Hence, it's better than the original for two reasons: unpredictable physical comedy and very good
writing. Interestingly, for the screenplay, Blake Edwards collaborated with William Peter Blatty who would
publish a novel in 1971 entitled The Exorcist.
Some of the best moments are Clouseau's fly being ripped off from the key that's still attached to the drawer, his hand
stuck in the spinning globe which led him to say, "Look, I've got Africa all over my hand now," and his brilliant
deduction: "Then I submit, Inspector Ballon, that you arrived home, found Miguel with Maria Gambrelli, and killed him
in a rit of fealous jage!"
Another thing I like is how everybody is at ease. Nobody exaggerates anything or tries to create comedy in an obvious way
like the other film. That's why I laughed many times because I didn't expect them, so I frequently rewinded the funny parts.
Unfortunately, there's a long lull during the second half which puts a big damper on my predicted rating of '9'. The jokes
need to be nonstop in order to sustain the lively pace. If that's not possible, it'll be a good idea to cut down the
running length by eliminating the nudist colony skit.
It's too bad the Pink Panther character wasn't used for the opening credits again. That's a big mistake. Instead,
Inspector Clouseau is featured which is okay by me. By the way, I have
to say he's an idiot which explains why the original French play was called L'Idiote.
All in all, because of Peter Sellers who's at his funniest, A Shot in the Dark is way better than
The Pink Panther.
Shot in the Heart (2001)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
4/21
4/21:
If I hadn't seen The Executioner's Song first, I wouldn't have an idea of
what's going on in Shot in the Heart which is a boring aftermath biopic.
If others felt the same way, I don't blame them. Gary Gilmore is a long-forgotten executed murderer. When
the characters started talking about Gaylen, my mind went blank. He turned out to be the deceased brother of Gary and
Mikal Gilmore.
Instead of reliving the events, it's just dull talk. That's all the movie has to offer. By going through this mode, the film is
converted into an acting workshop: guys feeling each other out while stretching their range at the expense of my patience.
Whatever Gary has to say, who cares? Two men died for nothing, the end.
All in all, The Executioner's Song is enough, and there shouldn't be
any more films about Gary Gilmore ever.
Shoulder Arms (1918)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
After making Shoulder Arms, Charlie Chaplin got inspired and changed his name to Adolf Hitler for
The Great Dictator, and the rest is history before he became history by
virtue of cowardice.
All in all, nobody was more demented than Charlie Chaplin.
A Show of Force (1990)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/22
5/22:
A movie is bound to stink if either happens: (1) Amy Irving is in the leading role; or (2) It's focused on a third world
country that most Americans don't care about.
Unfortunately, A Show of Force hits both counts and therefore heads for disaster of epic proportions. My attention
was never sustained during the first hour, and I didn't know what was going on because honestly...who gives a fuck
about Puerto Rico?
I'm sure whatever happened back then has no impact today. At the end, the film informs me many characters
including Frank Curtin were fictional. Well, that's nice...why didn't they say so from the beginning? As a matter of fact,
director Bruno Barreto pulled the same exact crap in One Tough Cop by making up
everything about Bo Dietl.
Funnily enough, A Show of Force opens with some info about 1978 which is this: Puerto Rico has been either trying to
be the 51st state or be excised from the United States. To date, neither has happened because of two reasons:
it's an acquired colony as a result of the Spanish-American War in 1898, and it's always been deeply rooted in
corruption. It doesn't help matters any when Puerto Rico declared national bankruptcy in 2017.
While I was wondering where Andy Garcia was, he finally showed up with thirty minutes to go, saving the film a bit. That's
why he's a good actor while Amy Irving is bland. I doubt Robert Duvall was ever in Puerto Rico during the time, preferring
to stay in the office on a sound stage with a fake background of the coastline. Lou Diamond Phillips gives a weird
performance, trying to be tough when he looks like a transgender. Kevin Spacey's character turns out to be the bad
guy...so, what else is new?
All in all, A Show of Force may have a strong cast and score well in the diversity department, but the story isn't
interesting for the slightest minute.
Showdown in Little Tokyo (1991)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/12, 2/19
5/12:
Showdown in Little Tokyo was my kind of film back then, and now, I can see how silly it is.
What the heck happened to Tia Carrere after the mid 90's? She was doing
Wayne's World movies and then immediately fell off the map. Of course, Kenner
gets shot right above his heart yet is able to engage in a full-blown samurai battle with an experienced Japanese
swordsman. There are so many bullets flying all over the place that none of them hits either of the male stars
except for one shot.
All in all, Showdown in Little Tokyo has plenty of, albeit mindless, action.
2/19:
Inept actors Dolph Lundgren and Brandon Lee team up to take on the Yakuza in a silly movie called
Showdown in Little Tokyo.
Apart from the colorful tattoos sported by the Japanese, only Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa manages to steal the show. He,
along with many others from this movie, will come back for some more in
Rising Sun starring Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes. While countless people die,
the story fails to hold my interest, forcing me to follow the mindless violence. Playing the supposedly rape
victim, Tia Carrere pretends to take off her clothes and uses a stand-in for her nude scenes.
Having shown off little martial arts action, Brandon Lee manages to have a homoerotic moment by pointlessly telling
Dolph, "You have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a man." At the end, the latter's character is shot through his
heart but musters enough energy to carry on in an all-out sword battle.
All in all, Stupidity in Little Tokyo is more like it.
Showgirls (1995)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
9/06
9/06:
Despite the bad press Showgirls received, it's actually a good, unique, and interesting picture.
What I like the most is the Greek tragedy principle at work: a young woman who instantly becomes famous and is surrounded
by insidious people who want to ruin her just for the hell of it. Of all the characters, the best is played by Gina
Gershon who's treacherous. As for Elizabeth Berkley, it's an outstanding job: unrestrained and raw with genuine acting
throughout.
Hopefully, Paul Verhoeven is proud of his work. Misunderstood by the public, Showgirls isn't about sex or nudity
which is rather relegated to the background. Instead, the film is about themes. One of them is female empowerment.
Another is putting women down because of their gender. By the way, that's a clever-looking movie poster, especially
when the body goes down to Elizabeth Berkley's leg. Whoever designed it should be commended.
All in all, Showgirls got unfairly trashed for the wrong reasons.
Shy People (1987)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/13
6/13:
Shy People is an unusual film that compares and contrasts people from two different worlds: the upscale, chic
New York and the backwoods Louisiana bayou.
Apparently, the plot smacks of familiar elements from a typical Tennessee Williams play. I'll say its closest resemblance
is The Glass Menagerie. Yet I don't believe Andrei Konchalvsky got the point across despite his solid direction.
Meanwhile, the acting is well-done, but I don't think Barbara Hershey and others were authentic enough playing their
characters. No matter what, it's a good job by the cast for the most part.
The cinematography is superb which sets up the mood of the ambience. There's a bit of
Deliverance going on, but it's obvious Grace started the mess by offering the
hillbillies cocaine which set them off on the wrong course.
All in all, I need to watch Shy People again.
The Sicilian (1987)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/18
9/18:
Michael Cimino strikes out for the umpteenth time.
This time, it's called The Sicilian, an incomprehensible The Godfather-like
film that takes place in Sicily with a French actor in the leading role along with English-speaking actors. Are you
getting my point here? Let me repeat: it's a movie that takes place in Sicily with English...speaking...actors.
I don't get Christopher Lambert. Sure, he's a good-looking guy, but his eyes are too weird on top of the fact that the
dude can't act. According to Wikipedia, Lambert "has profound myopia and cannot see without his glasses; because he
cannot wear contact lenses, he is often forced to act while virtually blind." That's just...amazing stuff.
As for the story, it's hopeless, but the cinematography is nice. Yet that's not why I watched the movie in
the first place, right?
All in all, having now seen all of Michael Cimino's films which is seven in total, I can confirm that he's one of the worst
directors ever.
Sid and Nancy (1986)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
The real Sid Vicious would've said, "Boring!" after seeing Sid and Nancy.
It's a depressing, nihilistic biopic with nothing to offer. Sid and Nancy just shoot up heroin and go down in the
dark, ugly hole that'll kill them both shortly thereafter.
Chloe Webb, who plays Nancy, is annoying. Showing weak chemistry with her, Gary Oldman does a nice job of playing
Sid Vicious who was quite young when he died at the age of 21. Either way, it's a good riddance of both.
All in all, Sid and Nancy is neither educational nor entertaining.
Síðasti bærinn (2004)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/07
6/07:
Síðasti bærinn, which is an Icelandic title for The Last Farm, is an utterly stupid, pointless movie.
As soon as I heard about the dead wife, I knew how the story was going to end. What I didn't appreciate is how
slow, predictable, old, and tired it was.
Waiting, waiting, waiting...
Dragging, dragging, dragging...
I was already dying for the film to end. Even the ending defies logic. I mean, what'll happen for sure is the two
women, since they have a cell phone, will call for help. Then, the police arrive within ten minutes, have a
look around before spotting the freshly made mound, and dig it out only to find an idiot man with his dead wife.
After saving his life, the man will have some serious explaining to do about what the fuck happened.
All in all, skip this trash.
Side Out (1990)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
1/24
1/24:
Like Over the Top, Side Out is the only major Hollywood film of its genre:
competitive beach volleyball, and no...Top Gun doesn't count.
That being said, there's so much one can do with the game. Hence, it's easy to see why the writers had to stretch the thin
plot as much as possible to fill in the rest. At least, the editing is good, enough to make the championship match
exciting to watch. However, there's a moment in the final play when Monroe illegally carried the ball over to his teammate
when he was supposed to tap it. Then again, the ref was blind during the whole time, missing a bunch of other calls.
Well, well, well...what do you know? C. Thomas Howell has Bernie Lomax for an uncle. This time, his performance is
better as compared to how corny he was in The Outsiders. On the other hand, Peter Horton is okay who mostly relies on
his Bodhi looks to pass muster. Legendary real-life volleyball players Randy Stoklos and Sinjin Smith almost steal the
limelight from them. There are others as well.
Things move along in a brisk manner despite the impossible premise because there's no way Monroe, a newcomer who's too short,
is able to defeat six-four-plus tall world-class volleyball players with at least fifteen years of playing experience. Zack
Barnes might be able to, but he's too out of shape to last long enough for high-level tournament play.
All in all, Side Out may be unbelievable and predictable, but name me another beach volleyball movie from the 80's or
the 90's.
Side Street (1950)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/09
1/09:
Because of the intelligent story with above-average performances, Side Street is a worthwhile film noir.
Farley Granger and Cathy O'Donnell reteam after appearing together in Nicholas Ray's directorial debut film
They Live by Night. I'm pleased with the former living up to the
film noirish expectations by the way he moves, acts, and talks.
Yet I'm disappointed with the last ten minutes which shows the empty streets of New York City which is impossible.
It takes away the credibility of the chase scene, reducing the realism factor.
The opening scene is similar to Sylvester Stallone's picture Cobra when he read
aloud the crime statistics in a fascinating manner. At the same time, the car chase looks original, predating
Bullitt by eighteen years.
All in all, Side Street is a well-made picture but has a disappointing ending.
The Siege (1998)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
You may think The Siege was there first, but in truth, Path to Paradise
made the prediction of 9/11 a year earlier.
Yet The Siege does a good job of amplifying the terrorist threat. When I saw how the Arabs were being treated, I
suddenly thought of what the United States did to approximately 120,000 Japanese people during WWII by interning them
among ten concentration camps for four years.
Will the United States do it again? I believe so. And will the White House declare martial law anywhere in the United
States? If it does happen, the country will be finished for good. Hence, the outcomes as shown in The Siege are
unrealistic. Always reactionary, Denzel Washington's character won't matter in the grand scheme of things. The power
struggle between the FBI and the military confused me because I didn't know what the correct answer was (it turns out
that the MPs have the sole power and authority to arrest anyone in the military, but is it applicable during martial law?).
There's zero reason for Samir to reveal himself as the mastermind of the bombing attacks, giving the film an easy way out.
What it should've done instead is letting the terrorists win because it's a domino effect and nobody can see what's going
on since it's not in plain view due to language, culture, and territory issues. You may think what Denzel Washington did
to save the people at the school building is absurd, but it's a correct move on his part because the helicopters were up
there and he was thinking of "too much media exposure for that exact purpose and the bomb will be ready to blow."
Don't be fooled by the FBI, the CIA, and so on. They aren't that smart or ahead of the terrorists. That's why 9/11 happened.
It's because the United States has always been a reactive country. There were no proactive security measures in place, so it
had to take a life-changing event to get the country's attention. The only reason why terrorist attacks don't occur in the
United States as often as in other countries is that it has the highest military expenditure in the world which is three
times as much as the second-place country (China). The budget for the rest of the others is only a fraction of it. By the
way, the United States has a long history of torturing important prisoners to extract information in the name of security.
Back to the film, it's well-made. Denzel Washington and Annette Bening are fine. Bruce Willis looks a bit out of place. I
thought for the longest time that Tony Shalhoub was Italian because I saw him so much on the TV show Wings, but he's
actually Lebanese whose father immigrated to the United States from Zahlé, Lebanon, during WWI.
All in all, Path to Paradise was there first, and The Siege simply expanded
the concept.
The Siege at Ruby Ridge (1996)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/22
5/22:
Until popping The Siege at Ruby Ridge into the DVD player, I had never heard of the story before.
If that's how it went down, then the U.S. government agents are guilty of two murders. I didn't see any provocation from the
Weavers' side. They had guns and were on their land which is protected by the Second Amendment. The camouflaged recon team
of six U.S. Marshals didn't make a fair signal to show why they're there or what their intentions were. To this day, the
true version of the initial encounter remains unknown.
Of course, it's easy to say if Randy Weaver hadn't gotten into trouble in the first place then the whole thing wouldn't have
happened. What I don't like about the movie is the withholding of some information. An example is the failure to reveal the
fact that the ATF agent's cover had been blown (I mean the bearded guy who bought illegal guns from Randy; the government
later admitted that it was an illegal entrapment). It's how Randy was asked to become an informant, but he refused to.
Meanwhile, the acting isn't bad for the most part. Laura Dern steals the show while Randy Quaid is a
happy-go-lucky guy. Kirsten Dunst is very young-looking. G.W. Bailey does a good job during pivotal moments. It's really the
story that's front and center.
All in all, The Siege at Ruby Ridge tells an interesting history lesson of what happened in Idaho.
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/04, 2/08, 5/20
2/08:
The Silence of the Lambs benefits a lot from Jonathan Demme's direction, but
Manhunter is the superior picture in every aspect.
Anthony Hopkins overacts. To this day, people are still apeshit over his character. I have no idea why, but I venture to
guess it has a lot to do with his fancy half hockey mask. Believe it or not, Anthony Hopkins was unknown before the film
came out, and since then, he's a household name.
Jodie Foster is a joke, and it's impossible to take her seriously. At least, she's a better choice over Michelle
Pfeiffer and Meg Ryan who were given the first dibs. It would've been a disaster otherwise. Laura Dern was in the running
for the role, and I could actually see her as Clarice Starling.
Some scenes are well-done, invoking grittiness which adds tension to the buildup of what's coming. The biggest letdown is
the lack of an internal investigation which is why Manhunter works better. One part
that bothers me greatly is how it is that a rookie agent, who's unintelligent much of the time, is able to outwit the more
experienced veterans.
All in all, The Silence of the Lambs is okay, but it's overrated.
5/20:
Still inferior to Manhunter in every aspect, The Silence of the Lambs is
overrated.
What I hate the most is the high number of extreme close-ups. I can see the contact lenses on a couple of thespians.
Michael Mann wasn't stupid to go that far. Jodie Foster is the other problem: so much fucking attention devoted to
her character. How is it that a not-yet-sworn-FBI-agent with zero field experience is given the green light to investigate
a serial killer? In the meantime, why was Hannibal moved to a makeshift jail in some museum? Couldn't they have put him in
an established prison?
Everybody raves about Anthony Hopkins' performance as Dr. Hannibal Lecter, but I'm not buying any of it. The fact of matter
is that he was showboating. Brian Cox nailed the part perfectly, and the genius of Michael Mann was to limit his screen
time. What bothers me about Anthony Hopkins' character is he seems to know many things, even the arcane details, on just
about every topic there is. It's impossible.
I've tried to give Jodie Foster the benefit of the doubt since 1991, but she's really fake...the West Virginia kind of fake.
It's amazing how her character is so brilliant who's able to get everything correct, even on her first try. Remember
Louis Friend? She got it right just like that; that's a difficult anagram with literally thousands of valid words.
The day that Clarice Starling came to Fredrica Bimmel's bedroom, the very first object she picked up was the music box with
a secret compartment. Now, how in the world did she know the dirty pictures would be in there? Similarly, she managed to
guess there might be something overlooked inside one of the victims' throat which turned out to be a moth cocoon. Give
me a fucking break. And she finds the serial killer on her own? Please, that never happens.
Why was the black woman running hard in the hallway so she could tell Starling about the latest developments?
It wasn't anything important. Then, they both huddled together to try to figure out some stuff when in fact they looked
like high school idiots. Earlier, Starling came up with some "deductions" of her own to explain why Buffalo Bill was acting
this or that way; I was rolling my eyes as in "did you just make up that shit?"
On the positive side, there are good performances by Scott Glenn, Anthony Heald, and Ted Levine. The photography is gritty
and realistic. I like the flow when it comes to examining the crimes but hate the scenes that consist of Hannibal's
pointless questions about Starling's personal life.
All in all, Manhunter is perfect while The Silence of the Lambs is unbelievable.
Silent Fall (1994)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
Sherlock Holmes once said, "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
Hence, I thought the boy's mother did it from the get-go, and so there it is. They say she's his "sister"? Balderdash. What a
manipulative movie Silent Fall is. The only reason why it came to this is that the crime scene was barely explained.
All I asked is, "What the hell happened?" That being said, I'm speaking of the preliminary findings. But there's almost
nothing furnished to me except for the stupid paper that showed the location of the stab wounds. Wow, amazing
stuff...not.
Two things must happen given the appearance of the crime scene, and this is as common sense as it gets. When a person stabs a body
over and over with a butcher knife, especially in a fit of rage, her hand will accidentally come down on the blade of the
knife, thus cutting herself, due to hitting a bone. Then, the same hand will move back to the handle and keep going,
regardless. That means...what? The knife wounds have to be visible on the boy's mother's hand as confirmed by the paper
which showed stab locations on the chest. Try doing that on the breastplate which is pretty tough to go through with a
knife.
The other is the large amount of blood all over the room which is to say there will be red footprints on the carpet. If
they find them matching only the boy and his mother, then that means...what? The mother did it. Forget the kid; he isn't
strong enough to take on the old man in spite of the most ridiculous display ever shown in movie history which is the
Herculean strength to pull out an industrial-grade doorknob.
Anyway, Richard Dreyfuss and J.T. Walsh are fine. They tried to make the show interesting for a while, but I was simply
overcome by the logic faults. Despite looking the part, Linda Hamilton and John Lithgow are ultimately wasted. Speaking of
the therapist's wife, where was she the whole time during the fateful night when he was rendered paralyzed on purpose? Liv
Tyler is awful and manages to give away the lifetime blueprint of her acting ability which is, to say, zero.
Since I had worked with plenty of kids with autism, I didn't believe the boy at all. The therapist stated, "Nobody knows
what autism is." Double balderdash. Usually, there's a degree of intellectual disability involved. Since the child actor
faked a lot of autistic behaviors, it's impossible for me to tell, but one thing is for sure: his voice would've never
appeared out of his own volition.
All in all, Silent Fall may seem credible because of Richard Dreyfuss, but make no mistake: it's a very
manipulative movie.
Silent Movie (1976)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
2/24
2/24:
Silent Movie is genius.
I've seen plenty of silent movies and know how they work, but I never cared for the comedies. They're all bad, idiotic,
and boring. Slapstick and physical stunts are the name of the game.
I wasn't initially expecting much from Silent Movie but got surprised in the beginning that it wasn't shot in black
and white. After a while, I got used to the color. How keen is that some big-name stars actually appear when they weren't
included in the opening credits: Burt Reynolds, James Caan, Liza Minnelli, and Paul Newman. Plus, Marcel Marceau makes a
rare appearance in a feature film.
There are many, many funny parts. My favorite is the balancing act in James Caan's broken-down trailer. The back of the DVD
cover says, "Only Mel Brooks would tell his laugh-packed tale about a silent movie—as a silent movie—with one
word of dialogue." That's true as the mime will ironically say it. Brilliant stuff.
While watching the film, I had been thinking why these people during the 10's and 20's didn't do something similar. It's
amazing to see an unrealized potential go waste. Also, they could've done more and more of them just exactly like
Silent Movie. After all, it was a huge box-office hit, grossing $36 million against a budget of $4 million. Sadly,
it's the only such film ever.
All in all, I'm compelled to say Silent Movie is better than Young Frankenstein.
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/13
4/13:
Poor Billy.
He was never able to receive the proper treatment for his trauma. But that doesn't excuse the pedestrian pace of
Silent Night, Deadly Night.
Gratuitous nudity is provided in every fifteen minutes to break up the monotony. Then, it's more of the same:
creative kills and lackluster suspense moments. I know the people will die; it's just a matter of how. Really, I wanted
the Mother Superior to get it the most as opposed to everybody else. At least, it's nice to be taken on a memory trip by
the sight of 80's toys at the store.
All in all, Silent Night, Deadly Night is as linear as it gets which resembles too much of
Halloween.
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/13
4/13:
Well, I think the first half of Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 was a blessing in disguise because it forced me
to fast-forward to the point where the movie actually started.
Then, the last forty-five minutes is a giant snooze-fest. I understand the piss-poor job by everybody involved,
and I know I wasted my time watching it. Yet I give the film a '2' although it should be '1' if it
wasn't for the overlong, unnecessary (read that as "necessary") flashbacks.
The viewers who were enthralled with the "Garbage Day" scene either are smoking crack or have a weakness for lame
sophomoric humor because the campiness of the scene is so ordinary. Understandably, Eric Freeman disappeared afterwards
and wasn't heard from again. He certainly was an oddball when it came to his acting technique by moving eyebrows up and
down frequently and mimicking the Terminator's movements.
Taking all of them into the equation, Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is so awful that it deserves to be
placed in a new genre: "Did the Producers Really Green-Light This Piece of Shit?" Unsurprisingly, the whole thing was
filmed in mere ten days. Perhaps it should've been worked on longer to make it a bit better?
All in all, skip Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2; actually, let me rephrase that: skip the original by watching
only the sequel, and you won't miss a thing.
Silent Running (1972)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
3/25
3/25:
While watching Spaceship Earth , I thought I would check out
Silent Running after the founders of Biosphere 2 cited it as an influence.
Well, it's one of the most boring movies I've seen which is disappointing given that
2001: A Space Odyssey's Douglas Trumbull is the director although his
handwork is unmistakable throughout. There isn't much of a story, and nothing happens for the longest time.
Often alone, Bruce Dern can only scream or talk slowly to communicate his thoughts. At one point, his
character, who happened to be a psychotic and antisocial murderer, couldn't figure out why his forest
was dying. I was like, "There's no sun, moron." Eventually, he gets it and proceeds to solve the problem by
placing artificial light around. I don't think so.
The biggest highlight of the show is the little drones which were fitted with double-amputee thespians. And
yes...this is the one that influenced the robots, most especially R2-D2, in
Star Wars, having been made five years afterwards.
All in all, Silent Running is as bad as Bio-Dome but in a different way.
Silkwood (1983)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
3/14
3/14:
Silkwood doesn't start until perhaps one hour into it.
All I saw is characters walking around, chain-smoking, and having boring conversations. Finally, the film gets
to the bottom of it, and the rest of the way isn't bad.
I knew what Karen Silkwood was getting into. So, I can't say the ending is tragic. She wasn't bright given how unbalanced
her life was. However, she should've gone to a lawyer for protection. The greatest irony of them all, as Karen
was worried about getting cancer from plutonium, is that she was smoking like a chimney like there's no tomorrow.
Then again, you can't fight stupid.
Although Cher was Oscar-nominated, I disagree with the decision because all she did is look pretty.
Instead, it should've went to Kurt Russell for what's an underrated performance. When Drew was gone for a while after
breaking up with Karen, his presence was greatly missed. Regardless, the whole cast, which is an all-star, is incredible,
and they blend together very well. Meryl Streep is excellent and makes the film work.
All in all, Silkwood is a performance-driven motion picture that drags at times.
Simón del desierto (1965)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
One of the worst and most pretentious films made?
It's close. Simón del desierto, Spanish for Simon of the Desert, is thankfully 45 minutes long.
Why it happened that way is the producer ran out of money, but Luis Buñuel's wife (the naked woman in
the film) countered it was supposed to be an anthology of three stories with each handled by a different director, an idea
which was discarded because the other two directors wanted their wives in it, too, yet Buñuel preferred his to be
the only one to appear in all three stories.
Because the idiot monk stood atop the column for six years, six weeks, and six days, some questions ran through
my mind. How is he not dead from skin cancer? Why is his face perfectly fine compared to his legs? How can he
sleep on a tiny space? Won't he be so tired of standing all day? What's his plan against averse weather? Is
he still up there in case of lightning? How about the pissing and shitting? Does everybody watch
him and then derive something fascinating from it?
Then, we have the mother of all: the dance scene at the end. Let's imagine several films going this route.
Rocky Balboa is in the fight of his life; it's now Round 15, the final one, and...it skips to the dance scene. The
verdict is in for a murder trial, and the foreman declares that the accused has been...it skips to the dance scene.
How about there's a Holocaust going on, Jews are about to be gassed, and...it skips to the dance scene?
To be fair, it's what Simeon Stylites did for 36 years, and he had a lot of copycats (called "stylites")
afterwards. A lot of stuff shown in the film is what occurred during his life. At one point, there was a
double wall erected around the column to keep women out including his mother. Eventually, when she died,
her coffin was brought over per Simeon's request, so he could say goodbye. When he passed away, it happened on the
pillar.
All in all, no matter how true the story is about Simeon Stylites, Simón del desierto is a total waste
of time.
A Simple Plan (1998)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/18
6/18:
Stupid people do stupid things.
That's the theme in A Simple Plan. I have to say the movie is realistic, preferring it over
Fargo. It's a classic case of overthinking or rather people trying to be smart for their
own good. Of course, the whole plan, albeit simple, backfires on them, and it's been one needless mess after another.
The acting is terrific, most especially from Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton who garnered his second straight Oscar
nomination by playing a creepy-looking dude. If there's a time that Bill Paxton should've been nominated, this is it.
All in all, a character-driven picture, A Simple Plan is better than Fargo.
Sin City (2005)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/07
7/07:
This is the end of Quentin Tarantino.
He'll never make movies like Reservoir Dogs and
Pulp Fiction again. So, what the hell happened to him? He was
just getting started. Coming straight from a schizophrenic mind, Sin City isn't what I want to see. So, I'm
speechless at everybody and everything about it.
Lately, I'm beginning to think that cinema is dead as there's a burgeoning rise of CGI laden, violent
films for the glory of profits just to satisfy teenagers' demand.
Women are reduced to take-all-for-they-have whores while men proudly display their guns as if it's an extension of their
dicks. They're allowed to beat women at will, preside over their castle as unappointed lords, and do as they please
without repercussions from the law. Well, that's great, but I'm out of here.
All in all, rest in peace, cinema.
Single White Female (1992)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
10/13
10/13:
Over the years, I heard women make a reference to the film title, "I've just gone through a Single White Female
episode," and I didn't understand what they were talking about until I saw the movie.
Now, yeah...it makes sense. I'm sure almost everybody has a horror story or two about living with roommates. Here's one
that happened to me. During the first semester of my freshman year, my roommate kept copying me including the clothes I
wore, the type of girl I was dating, and how I did things in general. During the final month of the semester, he withdrew
from his classes and stayed up late until 6 AM constantly every single day. As a result, my grades went downhill because
I couldn't sleep with the lights on. As a result, I lost over fifteen pounds and couldn't muster enough energy to study
for the finals. Since then, I've often thought about wanting to go back in time and beat the hell out of him.
So, yeah...having roommates sucks. Today, I'm very careful about whom I live with, and my
preference has always been "alone." Single White Female is the quintessential picture of the dreadful feeling
about the prospect of rooming with other people. Jennifer Jason Leigh, an underrated actress, and Bridget Fonda turn
in the performances of their careers. So, what a surprise that neither was nominated for an Oscar.
What shocks me is there aren't sequels with possible titles such as Single Black Male,
Single Asian Female, and, worst yet, Double Amputee Male (cue in the mentally retarded South African Blade
Runner freak who killed his pretty girlfriend for nonsensical reasons). So, yes...the variations are endless.
All in all, Single White Female is a thriller masterpiece about what it's like to have roommates with severe
problems.
Singles (1992)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/05
9/05:
Singles is supposed to be an adorable romantic film, but it's not.
There's zero chemistry between Kyra Sedgwick and Campbell Scott. A fraction of it is thankfully found in the pairing of
Matt Dillon and Bridget Fonda.
I wish Matt Dillon had more screen time because the cuteness he brings to the table is aplenty. If he was the star
of the show instead of Campbell Scott, the results would've been different. Jim True appears at the beginning, then
disappears most of the time, and finally shows up at the end. The same goes for Kyra Sedgwick's friend. It's quite
odd to me.
All in all, Singles is another "Dr. Feelgood" failure from Cameron Crowe.
Sirocco (1951)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
10/14
10/14:
Humphrey Bogart is tailor-made for Sirocco which goes down the Casablanca
route while making trenchcoats de rigueur.
The setting is perfect to give the picture a genuine film noir feel. Unfortunately, that's about it for
the positives which is too bad because it's that kind of picture which should've been right up there with the greats.
The problem is Lee J. Cobb. He looks out of place and doesn't mix in well. In fact, his acting belongs in television
(he'll do a lot of work there). His character isn't interesting or essential.
What should've happened instead is the continuation of the relationship between Humphrey Bogart's and
Märta Torén's characters. A hit was already in the works when they were having a stimulating cat-and-mouse
conversation which was abruptly interrupted, and there's no follow-through.
What a shame because any film that pairs Humphrey Bogart with an attractive leading lady and lets that be the main show
has always been successful. Some of them are Mary Astor in The Maltese Falcon,
Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca, Lauren Bacall in
To Have and Have Not, Gloria Grahame in
In a Lonely Place, Katherine Hepburn in The African Queen, and Ava
Gardner in The Barefoot Contessa. So, why mess with the tried-and-true
formula? By the way, Märta Torén tragically died from cerebral hemorrhage in 1957 at the age of 31.
All in all, Sirocco had it, but the filmmakers got too smart and therefore ruined a potential winner.
Sisters (1972)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/17
6/17:
Everything was going well in Sisters until the last fifteen minutes that caused it to collapse.
What the hell happened? A lot of it reminds me of David Cronenberg's early films and, most especially,
Dead Ringers. Partly Rear Window and
partly Psycho, Brian De Palma's picture is well-shot, and the mystery is intriguing to
follow just like his later work entitled Body Double.
Unfortunately, the acting isn't great. Only Jennifer Salt and Charles Durning turn in excellent performances. But
it's too bad about the latter because he'll be inexplicably dropped until the final minute to set up the strange
ending. It's a poor move on the director's part.
Margot Kidder is an oddball; she appears drunk, almost slurring her words. William Finley is used for the maximum
effect but becomes redundant in the last fifteen minutes, losing any power he has going. The split screen
technique is almost never successful in films, but it's appropriately done here.
Lack of logic is the fatal flaw. I'm surprised the reporter is able to describe everything that happened across the
building without seeing much. How can it possible given the slanted line of vision? Plus, who's able to clean up the
bloody murder scene in five minutes flat? And that's on top of the pristinely snow-white carpet? Yeah, right.
All in all, if Sisters had a proper ending, it might have worked out even though my intelligence was insulted a lot.
Six Shooter (2004)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
6/07
6/07:
The talent pool of those associated with short films nominated for the 2005 Academy Awards is nil.
Six Shooter was the winner of that year. When I started with Our Time Is Up,
I thought the rest of the lineup would get better, but no...it got a lot worse. This one is the worst of them all.
Showing neither morality nor compassion, Six Shooter makes a mockery of life. It contains a doofus for
an actor who makes fun of people with severe issues and proceeds to shoot up the place as if he's God. Um, whatever.
All in all, it's always easier to destroy than to create, and that's never impressive.
Sixteen Candles (1984)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/12
6/12:
Having lived through the 80's, I, to this day, don't understand the appeal of Molly Ringworm.
Nobody I knew liked or found her attractive by any means. Molly Ringworm's career consisted of only three signature
films, and truth be told, they were all terrible. It wasn't her but the John Hughes feel that drew me in for
Sixteen Candles.
He made incredible films during this period but sadly sold himself out by the mid 90's. Most of his success is owed to John
Candy and Matthew Broderick of Planes, Trains & Automobiles and
Ferris Bueller's Day Off, respectively.
Back to Sixteen Candles, Anthony Michael Hall sucks. The Donger sucks. The Matt Dillon look-alike sucks. John Cusack
sucks. Joan Cusack sucks. And Molly Ringworm sucks, but you knew that already.
Speaking of the Donger, I haven't seen this much racism against Asians since Gung Ho.
Like I can believe the story: a rich, good-looking high school senior takes interest in an ugly duckling sophomore.
Hell, just pick any girl who's in college...somebody with money and, more importantly, looks.
All in all, Sixteen Candles is a train wreck.
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
Hello! Ever heard of...Carnival of Souls, The Shining, or
The Changeling?!?
The ability of seeing dead people and finding out what happened to them is absolutely nothing new. So, why is everybody
going apeshit over The Sixth Sense? "I see dead people"...oh, my goodness...I'm having a heart attack while falling
over a bunch of cardboard boxes so I can laugh to death. Rod Serling would've done wonders with it in only twenty-five
minutes for The Twilight Zone.
What bothers me the most is the manipulation by M. Night Shyamalan (the most pretentious name of all time). The beginning
shows Malcolm Crowe being shot by his former patient. Then, it's one year later, but I'm not given a simple
"yes or no" answer to whether or not he died. That's it: the entire movie has been designed to jerk my chain for almost
two hours before I find out once and for all. There's nothing else in between but pointless filler.
Some said there were clues that pointed out Malcolm had died before the confirmation finally came. No, no, no...they
aren't valid. Malcolm would've figured that out within a day or two because nobody could see or speak to him. He also
changed his clothes and spoke with Cole's mother plenty of times. Anna had already acknowledged Malcolm's presence when
he appeared late for their anniversary dinner. But it's probably a dream which goes back to the original problem:
manipulation. Elsewhere, Malcolm tells Cole that he can communicate with the dead, and he's like, "Oh...I can?" Wow...this
kid just found this out for the first time after many years? What an insult to my intelligence. Plus, don't forget that it
isn't possible for the kid to take a cab on his own to visit the deceased girl's family.
Anyway, the acting is fine. Bruce Willis is better than usual and is almost good as he was in
Color of Night as both films have him playing a psychologist. Sure, it's Haley Joel
Osment's most famous role which got him an Oscar nomination. I won't bash him here, but I'm only surprised that Bruce
Willis didn't receive the same, too, since both were on the same level. However, Toni Collette shouldn't gotten it; anyone
could've done her role and still be effective.
All in all, The Sixth Sense is an overrated film that's neither scary nor thrilling.
Ski Patrol (1990)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/15, 4/22
3/15:
Back then, from 1989 to 1998, USA Network used to have USA Up All Night which aired after 11 PM and ran a lot of
B movies.
One of them was Ski Patrol of which I saw at least three times. Since then, I forgot about it for
years until I spotted the film in the list of streamed offerings on Netflix.
Ski Patrol brings back memories, but I realize now it's not a funny movie. There are many humorous moments that
have made me go, "Uh, okay." A good example is the three-faced character named Suicide. He keeps doing stupid things, and
they don't make sense. The part about Murray struggling with his height is hilarious. Dumpster the bulldog gives the
best performance.
What I like is the mix of different characters to enliven the show. A rarity for an 80's
picture, it has no nudity; instead, there are a lot of skiing stunts to provide an easygoing mood which pretty much works.
All in all, you can do no wrong with Ski Patrol as it passes for good, light-hearted fun.
4/22:
My rating for Ski Patrol remains unchanged.
It's a weak '6' but strong '5' picture. While the first half is good and has funny parts, a great deal of gas starts to
run out. The last thirty minutes is mediocre as it shows an endless loop of the same stuff every ten minutes or so.
The cast is fine. Everybody has plenty of fun while working with little. The funniest skit is coming up with a remedy for
Murray's height while the most bizarre character is Suicide. I like the skiing scenes a lot. Ski Patrol is one of
the best films I've seen when it comes to mixing loud colors with the ambience.
All in all, full of zany antics, Ski Patrol makes for a harmless viewing.
The Skulls (2000)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
The Skulls has an intriguing premise, but the execution is somewhat poor.
Joshua Jackson is average while Paul Walker is awful and Leslie Bibb is annoying. It's safe to say none of them is a
certified thespian. However, I like the cinematography which looks strong throughout. The guy who handled it is
Shane Hurlbut, and he was actually the victim of the infamous Christian Bale tirade incident which occurred during the
filming of Terminator Salvation. By the way, nothing was shot on location at Yale University; it was instead done
in Toronto, Canada.
I don't understand why the all-white Skulls club would select somebody with zero connections; that's like asking for
trouble. At any rate, I assumed it had a contingency plan in case if the newly inducted member didn't pan out as expected,
but there isn't any. When the black friend got mad at Lucas for joining the Skulls club, I sensed a huge gay subtext.
After Lucas and Caleb made the cut and were initiated into the club, what about the rest? Who are they?
For a club that claims to be secretive, there are plenty of contradictions. One is the branding of the logo on the wrist.
What if one of them is arrested? It'll be profiled and catalogued for life just like the tattoos of gang members. Ditto
for the key they wear around their necks. Then, there's the watch to cover the logo. Once a model is known, it'll be
forever associated with the club. Not to miss are the labels all over the building; therefore, members can be easily
identified by going in and out of it.
All in all, The Skulls needs a better cast and a stronger script.
Slacker (1990)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
10/15
10/15:
Slacker is about nothing but an endless stream of bullshit talk.
The concept of going from one person to another person may be cool, but listening to the pseudo-intellectual,
pretentious dickheads has my brain in a meltdown mode.
Richard Linklater is a joke. The only worthwhile film he did is
Dazed and Confused, and that's only because Matthew McConaughey gave the
performance of his career.
All in all, it's best to flush Slacker down in the toilet.
Slam Dance (1987)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/19
11/19:
What do you have when two of the most beautiful women star in the same film?
Slam Dance. At least, that's what Amadeus' Tom Hulce must have thought. Yeah,
the movie has more questions than answers, but it's a well-photographed, stylish 80's neo-noir thriller
that's better than most of David Lynch's junk including Mulholland Drive. Even
I love the empty swimming pool in Drood's apartment.
Tom Hulce is fun to watch although he occasionally overplays his part by bringing back the familiar Mozart laugh while
being goofy. Adam Ant, I don't believe I've seen him act before, but he does a credible job.
Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and Virginia Madsen are simply eye candies. They'll do better by having substantive
roles in White Sands and Candyman, respectively.
Sadly, along with her mother, Judith Barsi, who plays Bean, was killed by her father via murder-suicide a year later at
the age of 10.
All in all, although low in substance, Slam Dance is a strange beauty.
Slap Shot (1977)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/15
11/15:
Slap Shot is an unusual hockey picture at the hands of George Roy Hill.
He's primarily known for directing mediocre films, notwithstanding
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. It's also
the third film collaboration between him and Paul Newman with the other being
The Sting.
What makes Slap Shot easy to get into is the camaraderie among the ensemble. They gel together so well that
winning isn't the point. The finale is fitting because it's a representation of what the movie is all about.
It's hard to single out anyone in terms of performances, but I have to say the biggest difference maker is the inclusion
of the Hanson Brothers who are played well by Jeff Carlson, Steve Carlson, and David Hanson, all former professional
hockey players. At this point, it should be obvious it's the one that Mike Myers stole the idea from for
Wayne's World by modeling Dana Carvey's character after one of them.
The reason for the rating of '7' is the inconsistency of the pace. Some parts are kind of amusing with several others
that are quite funny, but the rest is tedious. Hence, there are a lot of ups and downs to prevent full entertainment.
Also, it doesn't help matters any when the supposedly hockey scenes have been turned into WWF on ice.
All in all, the lack of realism makes it hard to call Slap Shot a hockey picture.
Slaughter High (1986)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
9/10
9/10:
Technically British, Slaughter High meets the definition of a horror film.
The death scenes are creative with a few of them being original. I love the atmosphere given the low budget. Granted, the
acting isn't top-notch, and the characters can be annoying. Yet it's fun and gratifying to see them be killed left and
right.
Like many 80's slasher flicks, it has plenty of dumb moments. When characters are in danger of getting offed, they have sex,
fix a tractor and ram it into a wall, and fall asleep while waiting for the killer to come. Sometimes, their conversations
are horrible. By the way, Simon Scuddamore, who played Marty Ratzen, died of heroin overdose shortly after the completion
of filming.
All in all, Slaughter High is fun to watch in the dark.
SLC Punk (1998)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/21
11/21:
It's been a long while since I last saw an unbearably bad movie, and the winner is SLC Punk.
I think I'm familiar with the punk scene, and what I saw in the film, which takes place in 1985, is remotely nothing
like it. The Sex Pistols would've called SLC Poser a "piss stain." In fact, punk was
already over before 1980 when Sid Vicious died from a heroin overdose, and it had been fake for a long time afterwards.
It doesn't help matters any when Matthew Lillard is constantly screaming to the camera about how everybody is a poser.
I mean, look at the pot calling the kettle black. At the end, Heroin Bob dies, but who cares? I just wanted the movie to
end, having suffered for two weeks, although it got better toward the end. To make matters worse, one scene is ripped
off from Easy Rider when Peter Fonda had a real-life acid trip in New Orleans
Cemetery No. 1.
All in all, to get a true feel of punk, you're better off watching
The Filth and the Fury and
The Decline of Western Civilization than a minute of
SLC Poser.
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/11, 3/24
5/11:
Having been aware of the reputation Sleepaway Camp had carried for many years, I finally saw it for the first time.
For the majority of the running length, the movie is banal. But when the ending comes, it's the game changer.
I'll say Sleepaway Camp is the Vertigo of all slasher films. There's nothing
like it, and I should see the movie again later to develop a better opinion.
Two things it has going are the clothes, which are often tight for the time, and Judy who's so outrageous that she
deserves her comeuppance. The killer's identity is obvious from the get-go, but I sometimes wondered if two people were
involved.
All in all, the unique ending saves Sleepaway Camp the most.
3/23:
My rating for Sleepaway Camp remains unchanged.
The ending is unique which is the single reason why the film has survived past 1983. So I was wondering about the backstory. I watched it
again and could think of two reasons. One, when the boating accident happened at the beginning, the girl died. So, the
surviving brother assumed her identity and pretended to be a female that was encouraged by his "uncle" (or his father's
former lover?). Two, the filmmakers may have thrown the gay stuff into the mix for the hell of it.
As for the film, it's not a boring show which can be thought of as Bullying 101. Yeah,
Friday the 13th and The Burning keep coming up
in my mind a lot. However, the feel is quite camp, thanks to Karen Fields and Katherine
Kamhi as Judy and Meg, respectively. The scumbag who kept going after Angela because he only had sex on his mind deserved
it. He should've left her alone. Also, what helps the most is the campers were actually played by kids, not adults.
All in all, the ending is the game changer of Sleepaway Camp.
Sleepaway Camp II:
Unhappy Campers (1988)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
12/13
12/13:
Sleepaway Camp is famous for the ending which is among the best in horror films;
hence, a sequel had to be made.
Now, I won't go so far as to call Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers a true horror picture. It's been funny at times,
and the script is also well-written in a witty way. I like some of the lines, especially when they're mixed with variations
of the word "fornication."
Pamela Springsteen, the younger sister of Bruce Springsteen aka The Boss, may steal the show occasionally, but it's Valerie
Hartman, more specifically her breasts, who's the winner. As much of a slut as her character is, why isn't she killed
earlier? The obvious answer is: the filmmakers wanted to milk the time by flashing her breasts as often as
possible to sustain the viewers' attention.
After Valerie Hartman's character is killed off, the movie finally goes downhill; it's just a series of relentless killing,
producing a body count every three or four minutes. As a result, it's a horror snore.
All in all, although Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers is eighty minutes long, it should be tighter with some
cuts here and there.
Sleepaway Camp III:
Teenage Wasteland (1989)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
12/13
12/13:
Coming fresh off the second part with a sour taste in my mouth, I've reluctantly entered
Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland and hoped for something different.
Alas, no. It's more of the same. Everybody looks bored, and the filmmakers have run out of ideas. Throughout,
there's a lot of senseless, albeit effortless, killing. I'm not sure what Michael J. Pollard is doing in this except to
get the chance of shagging a girl probably forty years his junior.
So, anyway, yes...more killings, that gets old fast. For a while, I wondered what Angela's ulterior motive was, and it's
still unclear.
All in all, Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland is a massive dud.
Sleepers (1996)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/02, 12/12
12/12:
Sleepers is a phony movie with a capital P.
My favorite scene is when the phony actor Jason Patric took a phony stab at The Method while eating dinner with his fellow
phony actor Bruno Kirby who abruptly cut him off, "Hey, things are good? Life is good? Good, good." That's that.
The all-around phony acting, which seeps through many meaningless scenes (read that as "improv workshops"), is what killed
the film right from the start. Really, the star-studded cast isn't necessary. The pace drags, the story is corny, and the
scenes are cringeworthy. Higher degree of phoniness is created constantly.
All in all, Sleepers is a phony picture that's directed by a phony director about phony characters trying to make
a phony statement.
Sleepers West (1941)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/09
2/09:
After seeing Michael Shayne: Private Detective, I expected
Sleepers West to be better and funnier, but it didn't turn out that way.
Rather, I'm introduced to unlikable characters (and a few of them appear out of nowhere!), hackneyed subplots, and a lot
of uninteresting banter. In other words, not much happens. Then there's the sugarcoated wrap-up before it's finally over.
I don't know if it's just me, but is there hidden racism in some parts? Then again, I'm sure that's a reflection of the
period, but still, it's disappointing. As for films that take place on the train, I've seen better such as
Narrow Margin, Strangers on a Train,
and The Manchurian Candidate.
Whenever I saw Everett "The Stupid Girl Keeps Calling Me Jase" Jason, I was thinking, "Is that Ed Begley's father?
Or perhaps Bill Fagerbakke's?" The silly scene involving an oil tanker stuck on the rail track brings back memories of
Plan 9 from Outer Space.
All in all, Sleepers West is a major departure from the style and humor that made
Michael Shayne: Private Detective distinctive.
Sleeping with the Enemy (1991)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/04, 3/22
3/22:
There are several films that Julia Roberts is famous for, and one of them is Sleeping with the Enemy which came
first way, way before Enough did with Jennifer Lopez.
A huge box-office hit in 1991, the story is highly absorbing while the editing and cinematography are flawless. Taking
place around the stunning-looking house on the beach, the film starts off well, and then, things take a turn for worse,
exposing flaws in the Burneys' marriage.
It's easy to feel for Laura during one pivotal scene when she's punched in the head and kicked in the leg while on the
floor after being questioned about the doctor. All of a sudden, Martin is cool about taking a trip on the boat with his
wife and the aforementioned guy. Talk about psychological issues with an obsessive-compulsive disorder on top of them.
When they have sex, she feels raped while the haunting music of Hector Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique plays
in the background.
No doubt, it's an infamous role for Patrick Bergin who'll be forever typecast, but he's quite good in a chilling way.
Julia Roberts gives an excellent performance. When the bearded Kevin Anderson shows up before the husband does,
Sleeping with the Enemy is transformed into a three-act film: the revelation of marriage troubles, the idyllic
time by escaping them, and the aftermath.
All in all, showcasing the classic cycle of spousal/partner abuse perfectly, Sleeping with the Enemy is an
unforgettable film for both Julia Roberts and Patrick Bergin.
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
12/13
12/13:
The film title is absolutely dead-on: it's that sleepy and hollow.
Thanks to Tim Burton's predilection for lush cinematography that highlights the color of black, Sleepy Hollow is a bona
fide crapola. It's also vapid, obtuse, insipid, and convoluted.
Johnny Depp is a moron of an actor which explains why he hadn't starred in a good film since 1998 with the exception of
one that earned him an Oscar nomination. Has he been too distracted by playing his own crappy music during free time?
All in all, Sleepy Hollow will do to you what the title indicates.
The Slender Thread (1965)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
The Slender Thread is the first Hollywood picture directed by Sydney Pollack.
It's about somebody at the suicide call center saving a woman's life. That being said, I didn't really care. If she
wants to kill herself, so be it. That's her prerogative. What can everybody else do if she doesn't feel the
connection with people? Okay, after the woman is saved, then what? How are things going to be better if everything
is still the same? Hence, it has to start from within to find meaning in life.
The only part I can't believe is the sheer waste of resources and people trying to save Anne
Bancroft's character. Hence, I like what the doctor did at the hospital: if she wants to be admitted, please
fill out the form, and he'll look over her when he has the time. How Sidney Poitier's character
felt at the end is A Patch of Blue all over again: having done the
good deed, and...next, please.
Sidney Poiter starts out with contrived acting and then gets better over time until he's at his vintage best.
Anne Bancroft is fine and tries what she can do but fails to be sympathetic enough. The rest of the cast
isn't any better. To make things interesting, Sydney Pollack should've taken the time to explain how
tracing phone calls works.
All in all, The Slender Thread is too mundane.
Sleuth (1972)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/14, 5/19
1/14:
Sleuth is a rare two-man show that succeeds largely through writing and acting.
I'm not a huge fan of Michael Caine because he tends to be dull in many films, but this, I'm quite impressed
with his out-of-the-box acting. On the other hand, Laurence Olivier...well, he's Laurence Olivier, the greatest Shakespearean
actor of his time. How can the filmmakers go wrong with him?
Sleuth is a three-act play with an ultimate denouement which is a can't-miss. It's the male version of
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? with an endless supply of games,
puzzles, and battles of wits, making for a great pabulum.
In countless films, characters' houses tend to be bland and usual, but Andrew Wyke's is by far the most interesting. By
the way, there's a great twenty-minute interview with Anthony Shaffer as part of the DVD special features that's worth
listening to.
All in all, all the credit goes to Anthony Shaffer, famed for The Wicker Man and
Frenzy, for his delicious yarn in Sleuth.
5/19:
If there's such a thing as grading the difficulty of acting performances, Laurence Olivier and Michael Caine will get a
'10' for Sleuth.
The complexity and challenge of the lines these two had to work with are breathless. How they move themselves while
handling props is brilliant. The mansion probably houses the best and most interesting objects anyone can find.
My sole misgiving of the screenplay is it's too loquacious although Anthony Shaffer's writing is genius. There are
reprieves from time to time when the characters slow it down and turn to regular talk. The movie is better
this way before Laurence Olivier gets back to his usual long, drawn-out description of what's happening.
Prior to his arrival on the movie set, Michael Caine's fears weren't with the material but how he would
address Laurence Olivier, the greatest actor in British history. Upon meeting him for the first time, Olivier said, "Well,
I am the Lord Olivier, and you are Mr. Michael Caine. Of course, that's only for the first time you address me. After
that, I am Larry, and you are Mike."
Among the nice, clever tricks to fool me occurs during the opening title sequence which includes four fictional names: Alec
Cawthorne, John Matthews, Eve Channing, and Teddy Martin. It turns out to be only two actors for the entire film.
All in all, showcasing world-class performances by Laurence Olivier and Michael Caine, Sleuth is the final
film of Joseph L. Mankiewicz's outstanding career.
A Slight Case of Murder (1938)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/08
11/08:
After finishing A Slight Case of Murder, I can't help but feel that Alfred Hitchcock ripped off the story from
The Trouble with Harry.
It's too corny, and many jokes, whether subtle or not, don't work. It's hard to believe Remy Marco didn't sample
his product before distributing it nationally. That kind of dumbness is irritating. Why does he need to adopt a kid?
If there are multiple dead bodies which have been lying around for a while, then surely they'll stink up the joint. Hey,
what's with the kid? Is that the same brat from the Dead End Kids gang that I saw in
Angels with Dirty Faces? I'm sick of them already.
Edward G. Robinson, who's usually great, annoys me to no end; it's the way he talks and how he thinks that bothers me. I'm
surprised at the casting of an ugly woman (Ruth Donnelly) for the semi-leading role. It seems contrary at the time when
only the pretty ones got work.
All in all, A Slight Case of Murder is a corny flick that didn't generate a single laughter out of me.
Sling Blade (1996)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
7/18
7/18:
Sling Blade was one of those movies that I hadn't come around to seeing until now in spite of its enormous
reputation.
Afterwards, I was left immensely impressed. This one should've won Best Picture. The performances are uniformly
excellent, and they've all made the film absorbing to watch. Several of them deserved to be Oscar-nominated as well.
Billy Bob Thornton is a quality filmmaker. What a surprise he didn't win the Oscar for Best Actor (it went to
Shine's Geoffrey Rush instead). I couldn't recognize him in the film. For his Oscar-winning
screenplay which was based on a short film called Some Folks Call It a Sling Blade, there's a nice story as taken
from IMDb:
"Billy Wilder once told Billy Bob Thornton that he was 'too ugly' to be an actor, and that he should write a screenplay for
himself, where he could exploit his 'less than perfect' features. After this movie launched Thornton's career, Thornton
publicly discussed his conversation with Wilder, which was at a cocktail party where Thornton was working as a waiter.
Thornton got a call from Wilder, who invited him over to his house. Wilder said he didn't recall the conversation with
Thornton, but was glad that he heeded his advice. As a gift, Wilder gave Thornton a paperback copy of this movie's script
with his autograph, and a personal message inscribed on it."
Lucas Black is a natural, having developed a good rapport with Billy Bob Thornton. I've always thought John Ritter was a
decent actor, and he has surprised me a lot in this by extending his range and is therefore outstanding. Rounding
out the rest are James Hampton, Natalie Canerday, Rick Dial, Dwight Yoakam, and J.T. Walsh. Showing a mix of dumb and (more of)
intelligence, Karl Childers will live forever as one of the great icons in cinema. It's hard to forget the six-minute scene
when he tells his life story which has to be one of the finest ways to introduce a character.
Now, I'm beginning to see where The Apostle got its start by borrowing some elements
and players from Sling Blade. Rick Dial and Billy Bob Thornton made their appearances in the former which was
written, directed, and produced by Robert Duvall. If there's anything I'm disappointed with, it's the murder. I wish the
movie was just about the characters and nothing more. Karl Childers was doing fine by adjusting to his new life.
All in all, if there's only one film in Billy Bob Thornton's oeuvre to choose from, you must make it Sling Blade.
Sliver (1993)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/10, 2/20
3/10:
When the opening credits of Sliver rolled, the screenwriter turned out to be Joe Eszterhas.
Now, whenever you see his name, it's advisable that you must take the film with a huge amount of grain of salt.
Anyway, Sliver is highly watchable but scores '10' in stupidity. Women will get plenty of William Baldwin, and of
course, men will get plenty of Sharon Stone. But neither of them can act. It's just sex, sex, and sex. The saving grace is
Tom Berenger who balances them out with his veteran presence.
The story, while holding my interest for a while, gets sillier and sillier. I can't understand why Zeke Hawkins
(Baldwin) chose to reveal his highly litigious voyeurism to Carly Norris (Stone). What makes her so special, I wonder?
Zeke must have video evidence of the murders, so why didn't he tip off the police in a subtle way?
The ending is the worst because Zeke gets off the hook and will continue to be the biggest voyeur
ever since James Stewart's character in Rear Window. What is Carly's justification
for thinking that it's all okay? Is it because Zeke is a good-looking guy?
All in all, Sliver has potential but is ultimately a stupid movie, no matter how many different ways it's sliced.
2/20:
Joe Eszterhas is the best when it comes to penning screenplays of steamy, trashy potboilers.
First, he did it for Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct which literally made her
famous overnight, and now, they reteam for Sliver. Sharon Stone doesn't know how to be sexy despite her perfectly
tanned, Aryan look. She could've been a Nazi in another lifetime. All of it is displayed here. Her character is in the
nude and has many lovemaking sessions with Zeke (William Baldwin), yet there's no sex appeal.
It's the crazy Zeke, who begins dating one of the residents in a matter of days, blurting out that he owns the high-rise
apartment building and dropping a bombshell that he has a camera secretly installed in every room of the condos
in his building. What the fuck must the voyeur addict be thinking? Imagine the avalanche of lawsuits.
Regardless, William Baldwin is a good-looking guy, but the more he appears on screen, the shallower his
character comes across the screen. His acting has eroded over time, too. However, William Baldwin isn't bad with Sharon
Stone although they hated each other during the filming.
On the other hand, Tom Berenger does what he can do, but he's given the worst shaft of all time at the end because
there's no way his character would've killed Naomi Singer. If you're asking yourself, "Why didn't Zeke tell the police
about the video?", then you should imagine his explanation: "Well, um...I secretly record all condos for my pleasure."
All in all, Sliver needs to be refined more.
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/13
3/13:
I would've rated The Slumber Party Massacre a solid '9' because it's a well-done slasher flick with low expectations.
However, when the killer came back from the dead for the second and third time (already a tired formula), I must drop a
point. What surprised me the most is two things: the early revelation of the killer's identity who's a simple-looking
guy with plain clothes and the lack of nudity for the most part. The fact that a female actually directed it is probably
the reason why.
All of the elements fall neatly into place, and the film closely resembles Wes Craven's
Scream. There's some intelligence through the dialogue among remaining survivors throughout
the ordeal. It's also interesting to see the usage of a (cordless, mind you) hammer drill as if it's a phallic symbol.
All in all, The Slumber Party Massacre belongs in any top 100 Horror Films list.
Smile (1975)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
Smile is so old and dated that it's been easily superseded by
Drop Dead Gorgeous.
Michael Ritchie is an idiot director because if he wants the movie to be about the beauty pageant, there's no reason to
show a lot of stuff that has nothing to do with it. That's why the film ran too long, clocking at two hours.
Unsurprisingly, it was a box-office failure.
Satire? Ha! Nothing is ever funny. What's gross is the lecherous men who are sexually interested in female teenagers.
What's the point of Andy and his drinking problem? I hate how the Mexican-American girl got treated. That wasn't
funny. Then, out of nowhere, Shawn Christianson won the beauty pageant given that she's barely shown much.
All of the characters suck. Only Bruce Dern comes away unscathed by giving a decent performance. His best scene is when he
recounted the story of almost having a date with Elizabeth Taylor. Then again, what does it have to do with the movie?
On the other hand, the contestants for the beauty pageant are truly ugly.
All in all, you're better off seeing Drop Dead Gorgeous over Smile.
Smilla's Sense of Snow (1997)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/21
7/21:
Make no mistake as this movie should be called Smilla's Sense of Slow.
Nothing happens for an interminably long time. Seventy minutes into it, Smilla finds out the deaf kid was infected with
prehistoric worms. With ten minutes left, Richard Harris is back at the same place where he was in
Orca and is summarily killed once again. The end.
Uh...where's the entertainment? Instead, my senses got dulled to boredom. I only picked up the movie because of
Julia Ormond and thought there might be some hope for her; it turns out that she either chose lousy material or
couldn't act which explains her disappearance after a strong run from 1994 to 1997.
I don't get Gabriel Byrne...I really don't. Women find him handsome? And he appeared in a lot of movies during the 90's?
At any rate, Gabriel Byrne is an ineffective actor who has the same boring face. I knew from the start his character
was working for a big company only I didn't know which one. The movie is interesting when Julia Ormond got together with
Robert Loggia while having a chance to skewer Emma Croft with her acid tongue.
What I don't understand is: why does Smilla care so much about the deaf boy? It's a lot of work for her to solve the
mystery. Often implausible in terms of deep knowledge about snow and mathematics as a passing fancy, Smilla has the
ability to transform herself into James Bond and is able to break into buildings and procures information so easily
that the concept of security seems to be unheard of in the English-speaking world of Denmark and Greenland.
All in all, my new title Smilla's Sense of Slow explains why it tanked at the box office in 1997.
Smoke Signals (1998)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
11/20
11/20:
"Celebrate the comedy that had audiences and critics cheering!"
Uh, if they say so. According to the box office, not many people saw Smoke Signals. No wonder why I never
heard of it which is a bad, corny movie about young American Indians in modern society that's a rip-off of
Powwow Highway.
It even won the American Indian Movie Award at American Indian Film Festival. Of course!
Smoke Signals was practically the only one of its kind released in 1998. So, the film was competing against
what...annual reruns of Dances With Wolves,
Little Big Man, and
The Last of the Mohicans?
The story isn't interesting to begin with: the father dies, his adopted son embarks on a road trip with a retarded Indian
to reclaim his remains, some secrets are revealed along the way, and the end. American Indians usually have colorful
names such as Black Hawk, Geronimo, and Crazy Horse. Hence, it's fitting to call Thomas "Bullshits With Eyes Closed"
because that's all he did to amuse anyone who were unfortunate enough to cross his path.
Adam Beach is okay; his character is funny when he's cynical but even funnier when his hair is transformed into a black mop.
I wonder why he didn't bring a cooler friend along with him on the trip. The movie is awful when they make jokes about
Indian stereotypes and worse when Thomas shows off his unexplained fascination for Victor's deceased father.
All in all, shamelessly milking American Indianism for all it has, Smoke Signals is neither funny, revealing, nor
interesting.
The Smokers (2000)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
Now now now, what...the hell...is this?
Absolutely bored to tears while watching The Smokers, I stretched out my arms like they had never been stretched
before. It has no story only to depend on a gimmicky feel that chicks with guns are chic.
Attempting to trigger a fire alarm, one girl holds a lighter to the smoke detector before falling down and is thus trapped
in the bathroom. But stuck how? Many of the scenes don't connect or flow well; all I see is the characters' worthlessness.
The worst course I ever registered while in college was women's studies. Having come to my senses, I dropped out on the
same day after showing up in class. The Smokers comes close to capturing that exact misery I never want to
feel again.
All in all, The Smokers is the only film Christina Peters (or is it Kat Slater?) has directed;
afterwards, she found her destiny in the world of porn.
Smokey and the Bandit (1977)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/25
4/25:
If Deliverance is Burt Reynolds' best film, then
Smokey and the Bandit is his most popular.
Made for $4.3 million, it grossed $127 million, finishing number two at the box office in 1977 just behind
Star Wars. Impressive. Even the Universal Studios had no faith from the
outset. So, why did Smokey and the Bandit work? It's fun to watch! Hal Heedham will direct more similiar
films starring Burt Reynolds such as The Cannonball Run and
Stroker Ace, but this is the best of his career.
Sure, the story is frightfully simple: transport 400 cases of Coors beer from Texarkana, Texas, to Atlanta,
Georgia, in 28 hours. That's it. The rest is filled with action and improvisation. I never got into
Gone in 60 Seconds by H.B. Halicki because it couldn't be just cars.
He needed characters, dialogue, and skillful editing. Added to the mix is the Pontiac Trans Am and the use of CB
radio which were made immensely popular afterwards. Everything was shot on location in Georgia.
Burt Reynolds and Sally Field have terrific chemistry. The former is iconic, and the latter is tolerable
by letting her hair down for once although she looks stupid when smoking cigarettes. Jerry Reed
is excellent as Burt Reynolds' sidekick and did the theme song. The best performance of the show is undoubtedly
given by Jackie Gleason who could've earned an Oscar nomination. He's a really funny guy.
All in all, If there's a film equivalent to anthem song for the South, Smokey and the Bandit should be it.
Smokey and the Bandit II (1980)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
4/25
4/25:
Yep, shit hit the fan in this one.
Smokey and the Bandit II isn't among the worst sequels ever, but how hard is it to repeat the formula
set by the original? All everybody had to do is to show car chases for ninety minutes. But noooo....they
rather flop themselves back and forth gleefully in Southern trash and count up all the dollars afterwards.
Instead of 400 cases of Coors beer, the goal is to transport a 4.5-ton elephant from Miami, Florida, to
Dallas, Texas, in nine days for the Republican National Convention. Yes, the animal is cool and all,
but this isn't Every Which Way But Loose. Use the Pontiac Trans
Am...it's the star of the show, stupid. By the way, the elephant is currently alive at 66 years old and resides
at Topeka Zoo & Conservation Center in Topeka, Kansas.
It's nice to have the gang back: Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, Jerry Reed, Jackie Gleason, Pat McCormick,
and Paul Williams. Yet the nostalgia is patently overdone. I get it...they love being together, but move
on! At least, Dom DeLuise is a good addition yet isn't as funny as he should be. Because of him and the
NFL players, I felt like I was watching a variation of
The Cannonball Run which was filmed simultaneously.
If you've read Sally Field's autobiography In Pieces, Smokey and the Bandit II can make
for a weird viewing. She wrote of how Burt Reynolds wanted things done his way by telling her "what was
allowed and what was not." He also liked to talk about himself a lot and was "presumptuous and arrogant,"
introducing himself as "Burt Reynolds, movie star" when he called her. All of them came out a great deal
when they had a serious talk in one scene.
All in all, instead of living up to expectations, Smokey and the Bandit II is turned into a glorified
cash cow.
Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/25
4/25:
Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 sinks lower and fails to turn in profit, signaling the end of the
franchise (at least for the time being).
Despite some corrections to get back to the roots that made the original so good, it shoots itself in the
foot many times by becoming a typical raunchy 80's comedy picture. The filmmakers are also more interested in
putting stuff in front of cars to ram through and having them smashed than providing quality entertainment.
As for the story, it's about uh...transporting a fake fish across some states for $250,000?
Jerry Reed decides to be *slap my forehead* Burt Reynolds. For Pete's sake, why...? Honestly, he looks a
lot closer to Richard Petty. Jackie Gleason continues to embarrass himself. It's hard to believe he
was Ralph Kramden of The Honeymooners. He even said, "This picture is much better than the
other two Smokeys. There are more laughs. I write everything I do, but I don't take any screen
credit - just the money." Right... In case if you were impressed with Mike Henry's body, he used to play
in the NFL for six seasons.
In many ways, the third part feels like a remake of the original. Jerry Reed and Colleen Camp are Burt
Reynolds and Sally Field, respectively. The mission is nearly the same with Jackie Gleason as the archvillain
accompanied by his son. They make a pit stop. There are plenty of car chases. At the end, the man himself
finally shows up in a cameo to remind the audience why the film sucks because he isn't in it.
All in all, to illustrate the bizarre stupidity of everybody involved, the working title of the
third part was Smokey IS the Bandit with Jackie Gleason playing both roles.
The Snake Pit (1948)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/12
7/12:
"Oh look, Ashley...Melanie is trapped in the snake pit with other fiddle-dee-dees," exclaims Scarlett O'Hara.
Although I'm sure The Snake Pit was a fine film back then, it's now boring to watch. Mental illness is a topic
that I neither care about nor consider fascinating. No matter what the cause is, it's meaningless. Today's society is
most concerned about two things: benefit and production. When a person is stricken with a debilitating mental illness,
he has become useless to society forever.
That's how I feel about Virginia Cunningham, and there's nothing I can do. However, it's nice to have support in the
face of a losing battle. Having found the film tedious, all I'm able to ask is: what can I do, and why do I care?
Don't be confused between Olivia de Havilland and her character, okay? That's how she was nominated for an Oscar although
anyone else could've done it and still deliver the same performance just like how others had by playing a
drunkard, a gambler, a prostitute, a boxer, or a lunatic. Think of the nominees and winners, and you'll find many of
them fitting in these categories quite neatly.
The ending is both realistic and unrealistic. Virginia is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off after
being granted a pardon from the state mental hospital. Then again, it's Olivia de Havilland, and her picture must have a
typical Hollywood ending where we have to hold hands, cry, and wave in a rainbow fashion.
All in all, The Snake Pit is a dull viewing experience.
Snakes on a Plane (2006)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/08
5/08:
These idiots on IMDb are at it, and the result is a giant money loser.
At least, the cool fact is Samuel L. Jackson immediately decided to get on board for Snakes on a Plane by merely
looking at the title. Unfortunately, the movie sucks. It has a heavy made-for-TV feel with awful CGI. More real
and scarier than any of its counterparts is the snake in
Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Samuel L. Jackson doesn't say much and has little to work with. Some of the secondary characters are unlikeable and have
become forgettable. The airplane looks as big as the interior of a cruise ship.
All in all, Snakes on a Plane is a major disappointment given the internet hype.
Snatch (2000)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
4/03, 5/04, 8/07, 2/15
8/07:
Snatch is to Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels as
Pulp Fiction is to Reservoir Dogs.
The coolest movie of the decade, it consists of all-stars giving riveting performances. Difficult to pinpoint who gives
the best, they're all outstanding just the same. I love each of their fast, stylized introductions when the
opening credits rolled. The plot is creative and can be hard to follow for the first time, hence the need for repeat
viewings.
All in all, Snatch improves greatly in all areas that
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels falls short in.
2/15:
If there's a candidate for the coolest film made, it's Snatch.
It's a vast improvement over Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
in terms of cast, performances, pace, editing, and story. The all-star lineup is the number one reason. Then, by virtue
of the fast and slick editing, their performances are hip and cool, making time fly quickly.
The convoluted parallel threads, which converge to a single point, are why Snatch is a confusing film to follow
from the get-go, but watching it over and over will bring more appreciation for Guy Ritchie's unique style of
storytelling. It's hard to single out an actor who gives the best performance because they're all terrific. But if I'm
forced to choose, I'll go with Alan Ford as Brick Top. Brad Pitt is sensational even though he makes no sense.
All in all, Guy Ritchie should've made more movies like Snatch.
Sneakers (1992)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/17
1/17:
I avoided watching Sneakers for a long time because I didn't like the cover, but it turns out to be an enjoyable
film.
The most interesting part is: Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier, David Strathairn, and Dan Aykroyd are
all way older than River Phoenix by at least 18 years, yet River Phoenix is dead which happened the year after
Sneakers was released in 1992 and everybody is still alive today.
Overall, the acting is fine; everybody does enough to move things along. The story is compelling and intriguing to
follow. Yet it seems too easy. There are many parts that Brian De Palma may have ripped off for
Mission: Impossible. Also, Sneakers was tagged as a "comedy caper film." I don't see it that way, but it's fun
to watch. Here's a funny piece of trivia that's taken from Wikipedia:
"At one point during the project, [Phil Alden] Robinson received a visit from men claiming to be representatives of the
Office of Naval Intelligence, who indicated that for reasons of national security, the film could not include any
references to 'a hand-held device that can decode codes.' Robinson was highly concerned, as such a device was a key to
the film's plot, but after consulting with a lawyer from the film studio, he realized that the 'visit' had been a prank
instigated by a member of the cast, possibly Aykroyd or Redford."
All in all, Sneakers is the light version of Mission: Impossible that
works out well.
The Sniper (1952)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
11/23
11/23:
The Sniper is a well-shot film noir that's certainly ahead of its time.
Sniper attacks wouldn't begin in earnest until the 60's. One of the most famous examples is Charles Whitman who went up
the Texas Tower. This rare method of killing continued during the 70's, thanks to the returning soldiers who were
psychologically messed-up as a result of the Vietnam War. The most recent is the Beltway Shooting. All told, it's a
serial killer picture that showcases violence against women.
What's also remarkable is the filmmakers correctly capturing the cyclic pattern: the built-up anger, the murder of a
female in the form of sexual release, the cooldown, and the dormancy. The killer won't stop until he's caught or kills
himself. There are several shocking scenes including Jean Darr smashing her body against the glass while shot as she
looks over the poster of herself.
It's a fine performance by Arthur Franz. Even better is the outstanding location shots of San Francisco. The city still
ranks in the top two when it comes to films noirs with the other being Los Angeles. Most of the time,
the cinematography is perfect in the noir sense which was handled by Burnett Guffey who went on to win Oscars
for From Here to Eternity and
Bonnie and Clyde. The only flaw, despite the Oscar-nominated story, is the
therapist's liberal talk.
All in all, before there was Dirty Harry, there was The Sniper, a supremely
made film noir.
Sniper (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/17, 12/21
7/17:
Here's another exciting Tom Berenger film: Sniper.
A great deal of attention is paid to the accuracy of details and what it's like to be a sniper in the jungle. But some of
them are just plain wrong. I wondered why there weren't many insects and animals in the film. I mean, this is
Central America we're talking about. It turns out the whole thing was shot on location in Queensland, Australia.
Billy Zane plays a newbie but a good one even if he's annoying and arrogant. He's simply a representative of the audience
because they don't know any better, either. Tom Berenger's expertise is perfect; he's a veteran actor and knows what the
hell he's doing. In short, Tom Berenger is fun to watch.
I'm rather disappointed with the last twenty minutes; it seems to be impossible. Hence, I wish the director
went for a higher level of realism. It's not necessary for the mission to be full of conflicts leading to a series of
deus ex machinas. It can go perfectly well, and that's a good movie on its own because the primary focus is on the
sniper lifestyle.
By the way, notice how they have their targets in the crosshairs. If that's so, then hitting them for real will then be
impossible. The rifle has to be raised higher to account for the vertical drop of the fired shot over a
great distance due to gravity. There are steelheads in Montana? Are they sure about it? Well, there isn't any over there.
If you want to fish for some, you'll have to go to Idaho. And the dog isn't able to smell Beckett, who's hiding under a
cover of patch, because of the dung pile? Are they sure about it, too?
All in all, despite the numerous errors, Sniper is an enjoyable military yarn that manages to bring something unusual
to the table.
12/21:
Tom Berenger is excellent in Sniper, and I only question the need to have Billy Zane on board.
Why Master Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Beckett would endanger his own life by allowing it to happen to him is something that
I'll never understand. He accompanied a paper target shooter with zero field experience during the mission. That's a
recipe for disaster. Nonetheless, it's an entertaining movie that's closer to realism than most junk actioners.
All in all, nothing is more true than the line "One shot, one kill, no exceptions" for Sniper.
Snow Falling on Cedars (1999)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
3/18
3/18:
Snow Falling on Cedars is so pretentious that I kept falling asleep after five to ten minutes every single time
and didn't finish it until a month later.
Hence, the appropriate title should be Sleep Falling on Eyelids. No wonder why I never heard of the movie until spotting
it at the library due to Ethan Hawke. Years later, he would recall his time as "not a great acting experience."
Right off the bat, it's the camera work that's off-putting. There are too many extreme close-ups, and every tiny detail is
magnified by 1,000 times for no particular reason. The back-and-forth in the story is confusing to follow. Hence, I
got zonked out and waited for the whole thing to finish without comprehending much.
All in all, Sleep Falling on Eyelids is a long, slow, and disjointed picture that spends a lot of time on camera
tricks and cinematography.
So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
3/06
3/06:
So I Married an Axe Murderer is a horrible comedy that lacks intelligence.
A creepy guy in his own right, Mike Myers falls flat when it comes to punchlines. By the way, what does his character do
for a living? Anthony LaPaglia plays a cop who wants to be the next Dirty Harry? Well, okay...good luck with the lawsuits.
The newly married wife is related to a sister who killed three husbands of hers on the night of wedding and goes for fourth?
Uh, right...like she'll get away with it despite the sheer coincidence. Oddly, she's introduced at the beginning
and then disappears for a long time before showing up to reveal the plot twist.
At least, I love one shot. It's when an axe was thrown until just below Mike Myers' face. Only if it could be a bit higher, and
the awful Austin Powers franchise would never exist.
All in all, Mike Myers is a strange guy, and I never saw any appeal in him.
Soapdish (1991)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
12/20
12/20:
The drama, the bitchery, the terrible sense of fashion, the soap opera behaviors, and the plot twists are what makes
Soapdish a compelling film.
The more the merrier is the all-star cast as it includes three Oscar winners: Sally Field, Kevin Kline,
and Whoopi Goldberg. Oscar nominees Robert Downey, Jr., Elisabeth Shue, and Cathy Moriarty round out the rest along
with Teri Hatcher.
The story is clever which is a soap opera within a soap opera within a movie. It's Kevin Kline who supplies the most energy,
starting with his failed Willy Loman act in a fleabag steak 'n' play house dinner theater. Then, Sally Field creates drama of
her own to rival him with Elisabeth Shue being caught in the middle. Finally, chaos ensues when the cat is out of the bag.
What's impressive is the balancing act. There's so much going on that it's easy to be overwhelmed. Sometimes, I wonder if the
thespians are like that in real life.
All in all, Soapdish is very entertaining and funny with terrific performances.
The Social Network (2010)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/22
2/22:
A tale about Facebook in disguise, The Social Network is the most Machiavellian movie I've seen.
I wonder if Mark Zuckerberg read The Prince or had it all figured out in his head. Anyway, I avoided the movie for
years because the subject didn't interest me. I barely use Facebook, and I'm not registered to every popular social app
there is in existence. Then, I decided to see the film out of the blue.
What stands out the most is the writing. It's brilliant. All the tech and Harvard talk sound authentic. I looked up the
internet to see if an Oscar was given out for the screenplay. Yep, so who did it? Aaron Sorkin. It's no surprise because
this guy is legit as they come (by the way, he played the ad executive in the film during the sales pitch which included
something about a "glottal stop"). I'm a big fan of his early stuff such as
A Few Good Men, Malice, and
The American President. Sadly, that's all
he did during the 90's before switching to a few TV shows afterwards.
As for the story of how Facebook was started, it's interesting. Like all CEOs, I don't know a damn thing about Mark
Zuckerberg and thus don't care about him. In fact, I went on the internet to see what he looked like which turns out
to be an alien. The movie is certainly damning of him. If the word "asshole" is looked up in the dictionary, you'll find
a picture of him.
Regardless, the acting is strong. Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, and Justin Timberlake are outstanding. Only
the first was Oscar-nominated. His character is somebody I'm not used to seeing in cinema. He isn't what I describe as
evil; he's just an asshole in his own quiet way which is probably narcissistic personality disorder, but yes, his high IQ
is undeniable. The intro sets the tone for the rest of the film which reportedly took ninety-nine takes to get it right.
What do I think about who should get the credit and the lawsuits? If the story as presented to me is 100% accurate, I'll
have to say Eduardo Saverin didn't invent Facebook and therefore had no case. But it's exactly the same thing for Sean
Parker. The difference is the former was thinking of small potatoes while the latter brought in the big fish. No
matter what, everybody became millionaires and billionaires alike, and they should consider themselves lucky.
All in all, Aaron Sorkin's writing has transformed The Social Network into a well-made movie.
Solace (2015)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/23
6/23:
Solace is more of a retrofit than a rip-off of Seven.
Anthony Hopkins is Morgan Freeman. Aided by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Abbie Cornish is Brad Pitt. Colin Farrell is Kevin Spacey.
This time, Anthony Hopkins and Colin Farrell play characters who have ESP. Naturally, I have to suspend my disbelief.
Nonetheless, the story is good, and I've become a willing participant in the process. What hurts the film the most is the
awful editing. Random but sometimes purposeful images are heavily inserted to the point of taking too much away from
what works: the acting and the story. Abbie Cornish can be ridiculous many times.
I'm surprised to see Anthony Hopkins in top form this late. He has moments of brilliance. The best scene from him is
finally convincing the female FBI agent by revealing her dark past. On the other hand, Colin Farrell does well. It's nice
to see these two UK actors going against each other. However, the serial killer trying to pass the torch to John Clancy
makes no sense given their distinct motivations. Hence, the ending is bad.
All in all, if the filmmakers could cease the stupid and frenzied editing, Solace would play better.
Soldier Blue (1970)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
I had never heard of Soldier Blue until somebody recommended it because of the brutality that's on the same level as
Mandingo.
After enduring one of the longest, most pointless stretches of yapping in cinema history, what I had been waiting for
finally came which painted a true picture of a massacre. I think that's the director's excuse for doing this movie; it's
all about the finale while he can make up crap to fill in the first ninety minutes. The whole thing with Isaac Q. Cumber
is distracting as hell.
While watching the atrocity, I thought of two questions. One, was it what they did back then? Two, was it a payback for
what happened at the beginning? Anyway, the incident is based on the Sand Creek massacre which occurred in Kiowa
County, Colorado, on November 29, 1864. In case if you're wondering, the film was shot on location in Mexico. When one of
the characters mentioned Little Bighorn, the timeline is way off by twelve years.
It's weird to see Candice Bergen acting this way. She's never like this in other films. Her co-star is even worse, making
it hard for me to believe that this is the same Peter Strauss of The Jericho Mile
fame. To improve Soldier Blue more, it'll be a good idea to limit their time together to no more than fifteen
minutes. Better yet, the filmmakers should do the story in its entirety from the American Indians' perspective.
All in all, director Ralph Nelson failed at what he set out to do by turning Soldier Blue into a boring film
with serious editing issues and an exploitative gore-fest at the end.
A Soldier's Story (1984)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
5/20
5/20:
Based on Charles Fuller's Pulitzer Prize-winning play, A Soldier's Story is one of the most remarkable pictures made
with a top-flight black ensemble cast.
Because of Norman Jewison and Howard E. Rollins, Jr., I think of it as the military version of
In the Heat of the Night. There are plenty of similarities between these two.
Howard E. Rollins is my all-time favorite in the aforementioned TV sitcom when he took over Sidney Poitier's role with ease.
I hadn't seen him in a movie until now. Well, he's terrific, has a powerful presence, and should've done more pictures.
The rest of the cast is brilliant which has three up-and-coming black actors: Robert Townsend, David Alan Grier (of
In Living Color fame), and the great Denzel Washington.
It's so obvious that Denzel Washington was going to be a megastar, and there are interesting parallelisms between his
characters in A Soldier's Story and Glory. Norman Jewison wrote in his autobiography
This Terrible Business Has Been Good To Me:
"The camera loved (Washington). He was intelligent, rebellious, totally confident, and spectacularly talented. He was so
confident he often thought he knew more than the director, but he watched and learned. He never believed the film was going to
work until after he saw it finished. He didn't stop being above it all until he saw the film with an audience and realized
it worked."
There's just one actor who blew me away, and it's Adolph Caesar. His performance only comes once in a while. He's
unbelievable. As a reward, he was given an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor. Adolph Caesar had the best lines,
played his role to perfection, and stole the show in every single scene. It's not every day that an old man gets to
beat Denzel Washington to a pulp. Sadly, the Harlem-born actor died of a heart attack two years afterwards at age 52.
All in all, thanks to the outstanding performances, A Soldier's Story is a powerful military drama that deals with
racial discrimination among blacks.
Solyaris (1972)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
11/19
11/19:
Solyaris, or Solaris, is an interesting but slow Soviet Union movie that attempts to counter the
brilliance of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Thanks to the large number of B-grade films during the 50's, the sci-fi genre had a long-standing reputation for being
gimmicky, shallow, and technology-oriented in an ugly way, but when the two aforementioned films along with
The Day the Earth Stood Still came along, depths were finally reached
for intellectual discussion about the meaning of life and interaction with outer space.
I honestly lost it during the first forty minutes of Solyaris. That's too long, especially during the car ride
through Akasaka in Tokyo, Japan, because nothing was happening and I grew worried that I would be in for three hours of
boredom. By the time Kris Kelvin took the interstellar trip to investigate a space station, it's when the movie started
to take off.
2001: A Space Odyssey is a cold, mystical picture which is typical of Stanley
Kubrick. On the other hand, Solyaris is about humanity that explores past relationships and regrets. The former
focuses a lot on technology while the latter is unconcerned about it. Unfortunately, Solyaris' attempts to be
philosophical feels futile and dated with lengthy scenes.
The cast has done a good job. Donatas Banionis, the Lithuanian actor who plays Kris Kelvin, is the standout. I can't help
but think of Oliver Reed who could've been instead perfect. Of course, he wasn't fluent in Russian, or would it have
mattered? An annoying acting technique, which occurs early, is the thespians saying their lines and then putting their
heads down constantly.
All in all, although a decent movie, the running time of Solyaris should be halved.
Some Kind of Wonderful (1987)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/21
6/21:
Some Kind of Wonderful is the gender reversal of Pretty in Pink with a
different ending.
With the exception of Craig Sheffer for James Spader, Eric Stoltz is Molly Ringwald, Mary Stuart Masterson is Jon Cryer,
and Lea Thompson is Andrew McCarthy. Both are corny movies, but Some Kind of Wonderful wins out due to quality of
acting.
It'll be easy to rip apart Mary Stuart Masterson's performance for being so gay, but she's the reason for making the
plot work as it centers around her character. Yes, Eric Stoltz is outstanding, but it's not really his movie. To be honest
with you, the high school girls will go after Keith because of his looks, not the other way around. Lea Thompson is
kind of blah.
Why the film succeeded is the way John Hughes developed the characters, no matter how small they may be. Hence,
his movies should be regarded as 80's classics despite the mawkish theme.
Because of the studio interference after receiving a test audience's negative reactions, the ending for
Pretty in Pink was changed, and John Hughes hated it, leading to the making of
Some Kind of Wonderful to right the wrong. In spite of the
strong brother-sister vibe, I have to say it's better for Keith and Watts given how much Mary Stuart Masterson was invested
into her character. By the way, the little girl (Keith's younger sister) is played by Candace Cameron from
Full House, but what happened to her the rest of the way? She was doing well at the dining table.
All in all, Some Kind of Wonderful is much better than Pretty in Pink.
Some Like It Hot (1959)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/12
7/12:
And Cary Grant said, "I don't talk like that."
Billy Wilder had a knack for turning his films into gold, and Some Like It Hot is one of them. Maybe it's the
writing...maybe it's the direction...maybe it's the performances. Most likely, it's been all of them. Whenever the mob guys
show up, the outcome isn't what I hoped for overall. After the ball is kicked back to the trio, it's a very, very funny
picture.
Jack Lemmon gives the best performance while Tony Curtis is excellent. Marilyn Monroe is okay, but she's overshadowed by the
first two. Joe E. Brown is special as Osgood Fielding III who has a great comeback line at the end: "Well, nobody's
perfect."
All in all, although Some Like It Hot is funny, the mob angle chips it away too much.
Somebody Has to Shoot the Picture (1990)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/24
7/24:
While watching Somebody Has to Shoot the Picture, I could tell that it was probably based on a person's
experience given how the photographer (Roy Scheider) conducted his business.
After looking up the internet, it turns out to be the case for screenwriter Doug Magee who also wrote a book called
Slow Coming Dark: Interviews on Death Row. The Dead Man Walking-like
introduction of how the electric chair works seems quite authentic. Hence, the first thirty minutes of the film
is excellent.
But once the stay has been issued for Raymond Eames who's about to be executed,
Somebody Has to Shoot the Picture stops being interesting. The rest of the way is workmanlike in a race
against time to save him although I like the Blow-Up angle. The problem is
that Eames is a mid-level drug dealer, so who cares whether or not he's innocent?
Plus, how the capital murder went down is hard to follow, and I never got it straight after all, especially
with the names thrown into the mix such as Jake Rusher, Mike Knighton, Floyd Tatum, and a bunch of people from
the McGrath family. Maybe a simple summary at the beginning of the film will help a lot, yeah? Meanwhile, the
whole romance stuff with the photographer and Bonnie Bedelia's character is too weird given that she's the widow
and her husband happens to be supposedly killed by Eames.
All in all, in spite of decent performances, Somebody Has to Shoot the Picture is rendered mediocre by
the unorganized storytelling.
Someone to Watch Over Me (1987)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
7/17
7/17:
Here's an underrated film from Ridley Scott: Someone to Watch Over Me.
As always, Tom Berenger makes a movie better with his presence. He's the single reason why I picked it up and
doesn't disappoint me one bit. Tom Berenger's chemistry with Mimi Rogers is excellent. I was actually rooting for his
character to go with her instead of the wife. Therefore, that's the main dilemma of the film: who to pick. I like
Mimi Rogers' performance as well.
Ridley Scott's direction is at once decent and low-key with a great deal of sumptuous interior sets. He must have soaked
in a lot of lessons from Orson Welles' The Lady from Shanghai to create
the shootout scene between Tom Berenger's character and the professional assassin.
Of course, the bad guy is the one-armed dude from The Fugitive. It's a dead giveaway
if I've ever seen one. His character's motive is never clear; he just wants the woman dead, no matter what. Honestly, if
Venza walked away from it all, he would've been totally fine.
I mistook Lorraine Bracco for Lori Petty. They look alike. I didn't realize how thin Lorraine Bracco was back then. As a
matter of fact, she used to be a fashion model in France before coming to Hollywood. Someone to Watch Over Me is her
first major film role, and I can see her character saying the following:
"This is Ellie Keegan. I want to talk to you. Hello? Don't hang up on me! I want to talk to you! You keep away from my
husband, you hear me? Hello? Open the door! Answer me! I'm gonna tell everybody who walks in this building that in 2R,
Gregory, you are nothing but a whore! Is this the superintendent? Yes, I want you to know, sir, that you have a whore
living in 2R! Gregory, Claire Gregory. Do you hear me? He's my husband! Get your own goddamn man!"
Ladies and gentlemen, the Oscar-nominated actress: Lorraine Bracco from Goodfellas.
All in all, thanks to Ridley Scott's sure-handed direction, Someone to Watch Over Me is a fine policier.
Someone's Watching Me! (1978)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
11/19
11/19:
I thought I had seen all of John Carpenter movies, but this one, Someone's Watching Me!, somehow escaped
my attention.
Well, that's because it's a telefilm which wasn't released on video for almost thirty years. Anyway, it's an okay
Hitchcockian movie that requires patience which is typical of John Carpenter as the plot takes time to thicken. Once it
finally hits the peak, the terror comes rushing through.
I like Lauren Hutton who plays sort of a kooky character, making a powerful statement about the harassment of females. Who
cares about the perpetrator's identity? That much is said by the ending. In a way, the whole setup reminds me of
Looking for Mr. Goodbar, but it operates on a lower level of suspense.
In the meantime, I can't get over how dumb Lauren Hutton's character is. For starters, if the cops won't help her,
then she should've hired a private investigator. I'm sure he would've caught the guy in a matter of days through
simple surveillance work while searching her apartment for bugs. At the same time, she's stupid to have the drapes
wide open for everybody to observe her nocturnal activities, most especially when she has sex. Also, she should've
unplugged her phone, stopped picking it up, and/or changed the numbers.
All in all, if the leading character of Someone's Watching Me! had intelligence, the harassment situation
would've been handled better.
Something Wild (1961)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/22
6/22:
Here's a boring film: Something Wild.
I thought this was the original source before Ray Liotta showed up out of nowhere to torment Melanie Griffith and Jeff Daniels,
but nope. Instead, it's about Carroll Baker, who's the most tedious actress alive, wandering around New York City, hence
the agonizingly slow pace.
When Ralph Meeker made his first appearance which is an hour into it, I thought things would finally improve, but nope. The
second half is a "feeling out each other" improv acting workshop that's straight out of Lee Strasberg's Theater of Bullshit. To
escape, all the girl had to do is remove the pins from the hinges. Yet she stupidly comes back and decides to marry his
kidnapper. Only in Hollywood...
All in all, Something Wild is among the dumbest and slowest movies I've ever seen in my life.
Something Wild (1986)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/15, 7/19
11/15:
Something Wild is a fun, catchy flick with Melanie Griffith, Jeff Daniels, and Ray Liotta.
The cast is terrific, and their performances are lively. It has a nice pace, and the story is enjoyable. Ray Liotta is the one
who steals the show from the first moment he appears, sending the picture off on a thrilling ride. Typecast or not,
he's a very effective actor, even if it's just for a supporting role.
All in all, Melanie Griffith, Jeff Daniels, and Ray Liotta are perfect in Something Wild.
7/19:
Something Wild is a catchy just-for-the-hell-of-it flick.
Jeff Daniels and Melanie Griffith are terrific together and can hold their own, but when Ray Liotta finally shows up,
the dynamic completely changes. It's amazing how capable he is of doing this. From there on, it's been Ray, Ray, Ray. Of course,
he'll be typecast forever as a scary psychopath with intense eyes. Regardless, I enjoy his performances.
All in all, Something Wild is the perfect title of what to expect.
Sommersby (1993)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/16
6/16:
Sommersby gets my vote as one of the weirdest and dumbest movies made.
There's nothing grotesque going on. It's just that there's a twist requires an insane amount of suspension of disbelief
from me. When the revelation came, I was like, "What...?" So, nobody in the town can spot an imposter within seconds of
meeting the fake Jack Sommersby? When the wife accepted him as her husband, it's when I knew she had gone cuckoo. The
only plausible reason for it is that Richard Gere was twice voted the Sexiest Man Alive.
James Earl Jones as the black judge in the South one year after the end of the Civil War is a "YEAH, RIGHT" moment. Also,
there's no way a brooch was worth $1,000 by then. If true, it would've been immediately sold for the cause during the war.
Also, there's no way Jack was full of meat post-Civil War because many returning Southerners struggled with severe hunger.
Richard Gere is awful and too modern-looking for the time. Jodie Foster is worse and can't act to save her life. They have
no chemistry which is mostly Jodie Foster's fault because she's frigid. Hence, I spit on her whenever she claims to be
an actress.
All in all, Jodie Foster should be blamed for the failure of Sommersby.
Son of the Morning Star (1991)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/25
3/25:
Son of the Morning Star is a dramatic improvement over
Custer of the West by getting nearly everything correct.
Not only that, the story is told from two points of view: Custer's wife and a Cheyenne woman named Kate Bighead
aka Antelope. The difference between these two is that the former made up a lot of stuff while the latter was
a witness to many things Custer did and knew the people who were personally involved. There are a great deal of
details with respect to the military of the time which are nice to see.
I had pointed out in my review of Custer of the West that Robert Shaw
needed to grow his hair and goatee some more although he got the eyes. Gary Cole finally almost gets the image
correct even though the color of his eyes isn't quite there. It's a really important aspect because Custer was
a vain man which made a difference in how the Indians saw and described him.
Another plus of Son of the Morning Star is the inclusion of two incidents: the Fetterman Massacre and the
Battle of Washita River. Of the latter, I'm disappointed that it mentioned only in passing of Custer taking
an Indian woman when in reality he kept her as his sex slave and Libbie knew all about it, putting a stop
to it one year later.
In Custer of the West, Custer was constantly addressed as general,
but that isn't entirely accurate in terms of formal rank. He complained about it in
Son of the Morning Star, and the filmmakers correctly got where his rank was supposed to be at:
lieutenant colonel.
By the way, because of the success of Dances With Wolves, Kevin
Costner was the original choice to play Custer, but they decided to go with Gary Cole, who played the role
perfectly well, to save money. Happily, they got Rodney E. Grant to appear as Crazy Horse along with other
authentic Indians which were 150 in all.
The best part of Son of the Morning Star is the final forty-five minutes which is central to Custer's
legacy. It cleared up a lot of confusion for me because different regiments were here and there and I couldn't
get everything straight overall. Plus, the battle showed how the terrain, which was shot on location in Badlands
National Park and Buffalo Gap, South Dakota, played an important role, causing everybody to be uncertain of
what's happening.
All in all, Son of the Morning Star is the most accurate account of George Armstrong Custer's life
post-Civil War.
The Son of the Sheik (1926)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
The Son of the Sheik is the final film of Rudolph Valentino's career before passing away unexpectedly at age 31.
What happened is that Rudolph Valentino toured too much to promote the film and that he collapsed afterwards, leading
to the discovery of a perforated ulcer which required emergency surgery. As a result, he developed a fatal case of
peritonitis.
It's too bad. Rudolph Valentino's stardom was on the wane for some years, and The Son of the Sheik was his
desperate attempt to get back to the limelight with the need to pay off his heavy debts. Honestly, I didn't like
The Sheik, but I must say this one is much better. Although boring, it has more action
and faster pace. Rudolph Valentino obviously looks like a sex symbol when he was hardly that in the other film. The
biggest difference is he stopped lifting his forehead up and down to reveal the whitness of his eyes on the top.
Also, this is the earliest film I've ever seen when it comes to two characters played by one actor on the same
screen. Thus, it's an impressive job by Rudolph Valentino. I only needed to take a look at the eyes of the father to know
the difference. They must have cut the separate reels into half and put them together side by side. It's true that Rudolph
Valentino wasn't a fan of playing the Sheik, but clearly this time, he put in the effort to create a good show.
All in all, The Sheik may be Rudolph Valentino's most famous film, but he's a lot
more defining in The Son of the Sheik.
Son-in-Law (1993)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
If Hollywood was trying to make Son-in-Law the next
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, it didn't work.
Pauly Shore may be the headliner, but Patrick Renna achieves the remarkable feat by being funny for five
minutes compared to him, which has been nonexistent, in all of ninety minutes' screen time. If you don't know
who that is, it's the kid from The Sandlot. He should've had his own movie,
and I think he would have no problem in generating laughs.
As a freshman in college, I saw normal-looking peers during the first three weeks. Then, they began to change
their appearance radically by opting for bad-dye jobs, shaving their heads (females included), and acquiring body
piercings and tattoos and adopted extreme behaviors like going gay, consuming heavy amounts of alcohol and/or
drugs, and staying awake 24/7. Some ended up in the hospital or were so messed up that they never came back the
following semester. After returning the following year, I looked around and then concluded that over 90%
disappeared for good.
That's Rebecca in a nutshell. Oh, yeah...she's from South Dakota. My first roommate was from Nebraska, and
he was as corny as they came and was part of the aforementioned statistic. All I did was stay normal. Therefore, I
graduated as originally planned.
Crawl (actually, I like the father's alternative name for him: Crotch, so I'm going with that)...yeah, I've
seen his type before. He's a loser who has the worst fashion sense since Madonna in
Desperately Seeking Susan. Ever notice anybody hanging out with
him after he met Rebecca? Nope. That means he got the hooks on her and she's thrilled to have somebody like
him for a friend despite not knowing any better. As a result, she went from okay-looking to ugly in a flash. If I
were her, I would stay very far away from him.
I'm not sure what's the problem with Travis. So what if Rebecca lied to him and broke off the marriage? He
can do better by hooking up with Tracy (Tiffani-Amber Thiessen). Nope, he decides to date-rape-drug her and
Crotch for payback. Oddly, Crotch and Rebecca announce to everybody that they plan to marry yet
never kiss once from start to finish? I expected more from her brother, so he could point out, "Hey,
that's weird. Have you noticed...?"
I was going to give Son-in-Law a '2', but the chemistry of the cast got better over time. As the father,
Lane Smith is impressive for keeping a straight face while knowing he's far better than this junk. Yes, the tattoo
artist is Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Brendan Fraser does his
Encino Man bit just to say hi.
All in all, Son-in-Law is a stupid waste of time.
Sonny (2002)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
Directed by Nicolas Cage, Sonny is an okay movie.
It works well during the first hour but falls apart in the final thirty minutes. Not exactly like
American Gigolo, the plot is interesting but weak. The cast is average.
James Franco's acting needs more polish. He's either high, drunk, or plain Chinese in some scenes. On
the other hand, Nicolas Cage makes a cameo just to say, "Hi."
All in all, there's potential in Nicolas Cage's fledgling directorial career, and the superlative actor should've belt out
a couple more of films to see if he's any good at it.
Sorcerer (1977)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
8/15, 12/18, 5/21
8/15:
The title of Sorcerer is misleading because it doesn't have anything to do with wizards.
In fact, if I were William Friedkin, I would've come up with a better title because it's the South American version of
Runaway Train. As unique as the plot is, there are many flaws that prevent it
from being a great film. William Friedkin may have been shortsighted of its potential. Although I think it's a '6'
picture, I'm going to be fair and give it a '7'.
It's the first fifty minutes that hurts the film overall because I don't feel it worked as I was kept waiting for a good
reason to care about the characters. Once the premise was made clear, it's when Sorcerer took off. The
next hour is so unbelievably good that it should be the entire film.
It's not the acting performances that take the cake but how the characters show their emotions to underscore the gravity of
the obstacles they encounter during their 218-mile trip through the rain-drenched South American jungle. There are dramatic
scenes, especially during the bridge-crossing. It turns out the four actors did the driving and most
of their own stunts. The places are authentic as they were shot on location in Jerusalem, Vera Cruz, Paris, New Jersey,
and the Dominican Republic. Considering the current state of cinema, it's impressive.
All in all, Sorcerer is certainly something else but has the potential to be much more if it's properly edited.
12/18:
It gets better the second time around for Sorcerer which is a unique motion picture by William Friedkin that
takes place in the Dominican Republic.
It isn't the plot per se but an adventure of four men who are down on their luck and will do anything to turn around their
fortune even if it means life and death. Where Amores perros fails, Sorcerer
succeeds by the convergence of four parallel threads to a single point: the success of their mission through the
rain-drenched jungle in South America.
Among the finest and most unforgettable scenes in cinema history is the bridge crossing, twice at that, which
took three months to film. Every second of it has been worth the price of admission, and the tension felt by the four
desperadoes is palpable.
All in all, there isn't a motion picture that captures the raw intensity like Sorcerer.
5/21:
I finally got around to seeing the original: Le Salaire de la peur
(The Wages of Fear).
Quite simply, there's no contest: Sorcerer is the superior film. Even the author of the book, Georges Arnaud,
concurred. I thought about giving it a '10' for a while, but '9' will do for now. Yes, I can see how the first fifty
minutes can be problematic for the new viewers who'll probably ask, "What is this? What's going on?" But when the true
action is underway, it's when the movie starts becoming incredible.
Although Roy Scheider (whose role was envisioned for Steve McQueen) and Francisco Rabal (again for Marcello Mastroianni)
aren't bad, Bruno Cremer and Amidou steal the show, especially during the bridge-crossing scene. They're dynamite. It's
too bad their characters let down their guards when they were close to the end of the mission. The four aforementioned
actors did most of their own stunts, and each of the vignettes was shot on location.
All in all, you don't know what "intense" means until you've seen Sorcerer.
Sorry, Wrong Number (1948)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/16, 6/24
7/16:
I thought I was going to see an intelligent film noir in Sorry, Wrong Number.
Instead, I got the most convoluted, stupidest, and hokiest mess ever. Taking on the same type of risk, Orson Welles did
it better in The Lady from Shanghai. The overwrought plot is difficult to
follow and is often uninteresting, leaving me with a neverending chain of eye-rollers. Anatole Litvak's use of flashbacks
is so heavy-handed that the feel is akin to soap opera.
Barbara Stanwyck can be great at times, but when she's hysterical, she overacts. Every time she yelled, "I'm
a sick woman!," I wanted to tell her to shut the hell up. She should've called the police. The melodrama,
mostly from her own creation and the labyrinthic plot, have become too much for me to take. The best part is the
ending when her character was finally killed so the movie could die mercifully.
On the other hand, star power is written all over Burt Lancaster's face. Unfortunately, along with William Conrad,
Sorry, Wrong Number is The Killers all over again, restraining Burt
Lancaster from what he can do with his character. At least, he recovered from the mess by appearing in better films
while pledging his undying loyalty to Barbara Stanwyck for helping him out professionally.
All in all, Sorry, Wrong Number is among most melodramatic films made.
6/24:
What I hate about Sorry, Wrong Number is it takes forever to get to the conflict.
For a good deal of time, I'm forced to put up with Barbara Stanwyck's hysterics. Enough is enough. The movie
is saved in the final ten minutes with her character killed. I call it good riddance. The story is so
contrived that it's a case of a short 22-minute play being blown up to four times as long.
All in all, Sorry, Wrong Number is ridiculous.
Soul of the Game (1996)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
3/18
3/18:
Whenever you're in Kansas City, be sure to check out the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum as it's an inspiring place to be at.
Then, watch the film Soul of the Game which explains how black ballplayers labored for the chance to play in Major
League Baseball (MLB). Countless people think Jackie Robinson was the first black ballplayer to play in the league, but
that's not true. The true answer is Moses Fleetwood Walker of the Toledo Blue Stockings. However, after playing just one
season, there wouldn't be another for fifty-eight years until Branch Rickey signed Jackie Robinson.
Yet some historians say it's William Edward White, but nobody knew he was black, so he doesn't count. But let's give
credit where it's due: Jackie Robinson held up to scrutiny so well that the color barrier was finally demolished forever.
That's why Branch Rickey went with him in the first place.
But who was the greatest and the most famous star of the Negro Leagues? It's Satchel Paige. The Kansas City Monarchs
pitcher attracted hordes of fans wherever he went. He finally played in MLB at age 42 and retired from the game
five years afterwards, winning one World Series title with the Cleveland Indians. My grandfather was a newspaper reporter
for The Plain Dealer and said the greatest highlight of his career was interviewing Satchel Paige when
he played for the Indians.
During the same time, there was a black Babe Ruth, and his name was Josh Gibson. He never played in MLB, dying of a stroke at
age 35 due to years of headaches and mental illness, possibly from alcohol and drug abuse. Because the Negro Leagues
didn't keep much of statistics or game summaries, nobody knows how many home runs Josh Gibson hit during his lifetime.
Some say it's somewhere between 800 and 1,000.
Soul of the Game is a superb historical film with great performances, most especially by Delroy Lindo as Satchel
Paige. If you keep in mind of the museum in Kansas City, you can feel the significance of history while watching the
picture. It's smart of the filmmakers to include Willie Mays in the manner of passing the torch to him.
All in all, Soul of the Game is black history of professional baseball at its finest.
Sounder (1972)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/21
2/21:
To counteract the wave of raw films coming out of the Blaxploitation genre, Sounder is a tough, uncompromising
Louisiana picture about a family of black sharecroppers.
Filled with gospel music, the movie was shot on location in two parishes: East Feliciana and St. Helena. In many ways,
it resembles Once Upon a Time...When We Were Colored. Both are
period pictures involving a black boy who goes through a series of incidents and dignified male figures as his role models.
It's Paul Winfield who provides a quiet intense power and therefore sets the tone from start to finish. As a result, he was
rewarded with an Oscar nomination. Kevin Hooks is outstanding as well, playing his son. He went on to direct
Passenger 57 starring Wesley Snipes.
Cicely Tyson passed away recently at the age of 96. When Cicely was 47, she achieved a major breakthrough in Sounder
after turning down numerous roles that were beneath her which set off a four-year drought since
The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter. As a reward, Cicely Tyson earned her
sole Oscar nomination. As the first ever pair of black thespians to earn Academy Award acting nominations for the same
film, she and Paul Winfield reunited for King.
What I like about Sounder is how much it grew on me. There are some tough situations, yet the central theme is the
family sticks together through thick and thin. The father telling his son not to mind their current predicament but to use
education as a way out is correct. Like
Once Upon a Time...When We Were Colored, those who knew better
moved to north to escape the social injustice.
All in all, it's the powerful performances that make Sounder a worthy film about the black experience of living
in the Jim Crow South during the 30's.
South Central (1992)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
12/04, 8/08
8/08:
South Central is a nice low-key film that focuses on family rather than glorifies the image of gangs.
It's also solid because director Stephen Anderson brought attention to the gangbanger lifestyle from start to finish
in a terse manner. Then comes the dilemma of a father, recently freed from prison after serving a long stint, who's
ready to reclaim his son by saving him from the dark side.
The performances are good and fulfilling. Glenn Plummer is convincing, and Christian Coleman is able to bond with him.
I like the plot so much that it's relevant and relatable for many black fathers who find themselves in a similar
situation and want a chance at redemption.
All in all, South Central isn't exactly Boyz n the Hood, but the themes
are pretty close.
Southern Comfort (1981)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
5/20, 4/21
5/20:
Somewhat reminding me of John Milius, I hate Walter Hill and think of him a lousy director, but Southern Comfort is
the best film he has ever done.
I've seen The Driver, The Warriors,
48 Hrs., and Last Man Standing and find
them to be masturbatory pictures for clueless fanboys. They represent a macho idea of what it's like to be cool, but
there's no substance.
What makes Southern Comfort different from the rest is it begins with an excellent screenplay. Hence, the
characters are real who are played on by psychological games. The atmosphere is set up at
the beautifully photographed bayou of Louisiana. Combining them, the story plays out like
Deliverance and
And Then There Were None
with a bit of The Wicker Man thrown in.
The performances rendered by the cast are outstanding: Keith Carradine, Powers Boothe, Brion James, Peter Coyote, Fred Ward,
Alan Autry, Les Lannom, Franklyn Seales (in a rare movie role), and Lewis Smith. Sonny Landham is one of the French
Canjun hunters although it's hard to tell by looking at his face.
So, whose fault is it? Honestly, the Louisiana National Guardsmen made a huge mistake by taking the pirogues in the first
place; they should've kept walking on and minded their own business. Then, Stuckey committed the most boneheaded act of all time by firing at the French
Cajuns despite his gun being filled with blanks. It's when the war was on, and I can't blame them. The last twenty
minutes is eerily good with lots of disquietude. My initial thought was: "If you hear French Cajun, just run away.
Don't even think about it." Unfortunately, Spencer and Hardin accepted the ride, and things took a turn for the worse again.
All in all, possibly a metaphor for the mistakes made in the Vietnam War, Southern Comfort is a brilliantly directed
Kafka-esque picture by Walter Hill.
4/21:
By far the best film Walter Hill has ever done, Southern Comfort is the most apt metaphor of what happened in the
Vietnam War.
Unthinkable mistakes, lack of established leadership, zero clue of the terrain or where to go, and no outside support are
among the hallmarks of the paranoia-induced military stupidity that led to the sound defeat of the Louisiana National
Guardsmen by the inferiorly equipped natives. If any of the fake soldiers died, he can only blame it on his low IQ.
While these idiots were searching for I-10, the only question that needs to be asked is this: "Why not go back to where they
came from?" Then again, you can't fix stupid, and they were shooting at everything with blanks! It's even funnier when
the French-speaking Cajun prisoner knew English after all. Anyway, what a great cast. The performances are terrific
with a bunch of memorable characters and an unbelievable ending. Andrew Laszlo's cinematography of the Louisiana Bayou
is the clincher to create the Deliverance-like atmosphere.
All in all, Southern Comfort is a brilliantly made movie of how a clusterfuck can happen.
Soylent Green (1973)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/17
3/17:
So, what's Soylent Green made of?
People. But why is it a bad thing? When Earth has become overpopulated and there's not enough food to go around, then the
natural instinct is to eat people's bodies after they die. Therefore, why should it be shocking? It's common sense.
The problem with the film is it's mediocre, thanks to Richard Fleischer who's an awful director. He hasn't a clue of how
to make anything exciting. Even Harry Harrison, the author of the book, expressed his displeasure because the filmmakers
didn't bother implementing more interesting themes and thus turned it into a boring policier that's set in the
dystopian world.
It's Edward G. Robinson's final role before passing away from bladder cancer twelve days after the completion of filming.
When he played his character, he was almost totally deaf and therefore couldn't hear the dialogue. His career, however as
great as it was, has been littered with hammy performances; hence, it's fitting that Edward G. Robinson repeated it here,
especially how his character got ushered away to be harvested as food which is literally the last scene of his acting
career.
All in all, although a famous sci-fi picture, Soylent Green is tedious when it should've focused more on the food
problem, the environmental damage, and the situation outside the cities.
Space Cowboys (2000)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/04, 7/08
7/08:
Thanks to the collective star power of the principal leads, Space Cowboys isn't a bad film for family entertainment.
Sentimental moments are aplenty, and there's a nice dose of comedy. The cast of Clint Eastwood, James Garner,
Donald Sutherland, and Tommy Lee Jones is enough to make anyone see the film. It's clear they were having a lot of fun.
However, their chemistry doesn't mesh well. The trouble is that Clint Eastwood and Tommy Lee Jones have too much
screen time while little is granted to Donald Sutherland and James Garner. I don't like Clint Eastwood's performance that
much; he's always digusted with whatever is going on at the moment.
The old-school-versus-new-school stuff seems cool, but it doesn't do much for me. Like how it was done in
The Right Stuff, I'll like to see the veterans going through the training
regimen for more than half of the film to keep things interesting. Therefore, it becomes an educational tool in terms
of how astronauts prepare for their journey in outer space.
All in all, Space Cowboys may seem like a fun picture, but there's not enough material to derive enjoyment.
Spaceballs (1987)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/07
7/07:
Spaceballs gets my vote for one of the most overrated comedies of all time.
I've seen this weak spoof of Star Wars,
The Wizard of Oz,
2001: A Space Odyssey, Alien, and
Planet of the Apes several times since 1987, and it's never been funny enough for me to laugh.
The truth is Mel Brooks has gotten lame at it. He routinely makes boring comedies that put me to sleep. Almost every
scene has me saying, "Uh, okay...and?" In short, Mel Brooks didn't master the art of subtle comedy, and everything
has to be obvious from a mile away.
I see that one planet's oxygen supply has been sucked by a giant vacuum cleaner. But everybody will die in mere minutes
due to brain death which is irreversible, no matter what. Another is the extremely long spaceship, yet there's barely
anybody on it. For whatever it's worth, Rick Moranis gives the best performance, but his character is stupid and
obnoxious. On the other hand, I don't get why Mel Brooks is in the film; I hate his character.
All in all, Spaceballs sucks.
SpaceCamp (1986)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
2/15
2/15:
The space shuttle Challenger blew up during liftoff on January 28, 1986.
Hollywood had finished filming SpaceCamp prior to the disaster before it was slated to be released five months afterwards.
The outcome would've been the same either way because it tanked at the box office since most of the public had already lost
interest in NASA.
SpaceCamp is Meatballs meets Apollo 13.
It's annoying to see the young teenagers getting the chance to go up in outer space with little training and acting
like they know how to operate a space shuttle. Worse, it's hard to see the film without thinking of the Challenger
explosion. NASA reached its peak during the 60's and 70's and would never be near the same height afterwards. Today, space
exploration is generally considered a waste of money.
All of the actors are awful, but it's Joaquin Phoenix, whose first name is "Leaf" for fuck's sake, who hams it up with
his dorky Star Wars argot. Equally bad is the inclusion of R2-D2-like model with HAL
9000 mentality to stay consistent with the theme. It's incredible that nobody noticed the $27 million robot going missing.
After the counselors saw Jinx in the dorm, they don't bother with taking it back.
Once up in outer space, the view is nice if redundant. Then, the problem is immediately noticed: the halo light around
characters against the dark backdrop. At one point, I can see the stuff attached to them which are
futilely erased with a felt-tip black marker. Of course, conflict after conflict begin to show up, and the kids come up
with mind-blowing solutions to resolve them at the last second. They finally get back to Earth in a predictable manner.
Throughout, the show is full of technical errors such as Space Camp located in Huntsville, Alabama, but nothing
has ever been launched from there.
All in all, you're better off seeing The Right Stuff than groaning over the
nauseous sight of child actors in SpaceCamp.
The Spanish Prisoner (1997)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
8/12, 3/20
8/12:
Coming fresh off House of Games, I eagerly looked forward to the next thriller:
The Spanish Prisoner.
I've always liked David Mamet's stuff, and they make for great pictures because of his excellent writing. Well, the latter
is a repeat of the former but isn't much better. Perhaps, it's too predictable this time because of the dead giveaways
except for the ending which is more of a surprise.
For a mathematician, Joe Ross is sure dumb which is off-putting. Seeing the countenance
on his face, I expected him to hold a Ph.D. degree, act like a chess grandmaster, be fluent in several world languages, and
play a couple of musical instruments. Yet he does the unthinkable of all time: bring his book of actual formulas to the
meeting!
No self-respecting mathematician will ever do that. He should've made up the stuff because almost nobody understands
advanced mathematics. Why he didn't do it is that David Mamet has no true understanding of how a mathematician's mind works.
Therefore, The Spanish Prisoner is a flawed picture.
When I saw the ferry attendant asking for tickets near the end, I couldn't make out his face to see whether or not it's
Joe Mantegna. Alas no, but what a movie moment if it was him and he got to say, "Oh, you're a bad pony, and I'm not going
to bet on you!" Anyway, it's a great performance by Campbell Scott, but Steve Martin? Not so much because he had done the
same thing in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels which is another dead giveaway just
like how Rebecca Pidgeon is.
All in all, The Spanish Prisoner is a worthy, if predictable, neo-noir with plenty of Hitchcockian twists.
3/20:
The ferry boat attendant should've been played by Joe Mantegna because it would be perfect.
Well, my opinion of The Spanish Prisoner is worse now. The first half runs too long with a lot of pointless talk
although the tide suddenly changes during the second half, making the picture better. Yet it seems catchy on purpose in
the hopes of salvaging the film as a whole. Director David Mamet was so in love with his words that he forgot there's an
audience to please.
As Susan, Rebecca Pidgeon is the biggest dead giveaway because she's too glib to believe; hence, there must have been a
catch the entire time. Ever wonder why Rebecca Pidgeon got the most attention besides Campbell Scott? It's because she's
David Mamet's wife. How funny it is to see the idiot Felicity Huffman playing an FBI agent when she recently pleaded guilty to
federal charges after admitting to paying a proctor $15,000 to change her daughter's SAT answers.
What I don't understand is why Joe didn't make up crap in his book of formulas instead of giving
away the real thing. It's not like everybody can read advanced mathematics; in fact, most don't even understand algebra.
Just fill the pages with logarithmics, derivatives, porn data, and a bunch of hypothesis tests, and call it a day.
All in all, The Spanish Prisoner is convoluted to the nth power.
Sparkle (1976)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/24
3/24:
A rags-to-riches wannabe music picture, Sparkle is flawed in many aspects.
Was it trying to emulate Lady Sings the Blues? They said the film was actually based
on The Supremes. The setting was supposed to be Harlem during the late 50's and early 60's, but I didn't see much of it while
nobody aged throughout. Oddly, the word "Sparkle" wasn't mentioned for the longest time, and when it finally was, I didn't know
it's the name of Irene Cara's character.
Thanks to Bruce Surtees, Sparkle is a good-looking picture that's not terrible by any means. The biggest trouble is the
lack of character development. There are three sisters, but none of them is fleshed out well. The third sister of the trio
who left early...who's she? The second who died young, I didn't feel anything. Lonne Elder, the screenwriter of
Sounder,
first wrote the script, but it sucked and thus had to be cleaned up. So, future director Joel Schumacher
was assigned the task, but the final result is an unfocused, paper-thin plot.
Irene Cara, who's 17 here, would hit big in Fame and then reached her peak during
Flashdance, winning an Oscar for Best Original Song, while Miami Vice made
Philip Michael Thomas famous. Yet they both disappeared for good afterwards.
All in all, Sparkle is a nice but shallow panoramic picture.
Spartacus (1960)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/06, 12/12, 7/17
3/06:
Although a spectacular film by Stanley Kubrick, Spartacus is too long and lacks substance.
However, the story is a classic with a great cast. There are many famous movie moments such as the waiting game between the
eponymous hero and the Ethiopian before the arena match, the battle formations, the rolling flaming logs, and the ending.
Laurence Olivier is brilliant as Marcus Licinius Crassus who's a true villain in every sense. Kirk Douglas is sublime as
the eponymous hero. Charles Laughton chews up the scenery, and so does Peter Ustinov.
All in all, Spartacus rivals Ben-Hur in all aspects but isn't enough to be
a masterpiece.
12/12:
Trying Spartacus once again, I still can't view it as a '10' picture.
I don't know what the problem is, but there's something lacking. The overall story is still a classic. However,
it isn't as great as Ben-Hur and
The Ten Commandments, leaving me wanting more.
Once again, Laurence Olivier steals the show. He's a bona fide movie star. Kirk Douglas does his best imitation of
Alan Ladd from Shane. Peter Ustinov and Charles Laughton turn in eye-candy performances.
On the other hand, Jean Simmons is ordinary.
All in all, Spartacus, although a fantastic-looking film with great acting, is too long.
7/17:
I wish I can rate Spartacus higher than '8', but I can't do it.
But the truth is: it has never fully satisfied me in spite of seeing it at least five times. There's always something
missing. Maybe it needs a battle, two or three more meaningful scenes other than the lovemaking stuff between the
eponymous hero and Varinia, or something else. Hence, it's an easy film to compare with
Ben-Hur.
Kirk Douglas' Spartacus is among the most iconic characters in the history of cinema. He has an
impressive-looking face which seems to be made of granite. However, taking a closer look, his performance is somewhat
superficial. Instead, it's Laurence Olivier who steals the show. He constantly drips with quiet menace. What a
surprise Laurence Olivier wasn't nominated for an Oscar.
Peter Ustinov won the Oscar, the only one to have done so for a Kubrick film. To be honest with you, I have to go with
Charles Laughton who's magnificent. Jean Simmons is merely okay while Tony Curtis is flat. But I like Herbert Lom's
performance as Tigranes Levantus. Granting him more screen time will help.
I love the cinematography along with the 10,500 extras that got pumped up to 40,000 dummies, netting an Oscar win for
Russell Metty when in fact it was the director who did most of the work. The former left due to the latter's constant
meddling. According to IMDb: "When Kirk Douglas asked Stanley Kubrick [for] his opinion of the 'I Am Spartacus' scene,
Kubrick (in front of cast and crew) called it 'a stupid idea.' Douglas promptly chewed the director out." Well, that's
incredible because it's among the most famous scenes ever.
Even worse is Stanley Kubrick disowning the film due to the lack of complete creative control. Kirk Douglas never got along
with him during their time, attacking him with a folding chair at one point. It's too bad because they also did an
excellent film entitled Paths of Glory. By the way, Spartacus marked the
end of Dalton Trumbo's stay on the Hollywood blacklist.
All in all, Spartacus is the poor man's Ben-Hur.
Spartan (2004)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/24
4/24:
That's interesting: Val Kilmer stars in a film which is written and directed by David Mamet: Spartan.
The story isn't bad for the most part, but I saw Taken first which
actually came out four years later. About half of it feels like
The Spanish Prisoner, too. It's hard to say whether or not
these people are for real, and there have been times that I didn't get it. What do I care about the U.S. President's
daughter? She's worthless.
At least, Val Kilmer gives a good performance. At this point, I can tell he had grown a lot as an actor. I recently saw
The Murders in the Rue Morgue, and now, it's
safe to say he's mature enough to take on the caliber of George C. Scott.
On the other hand, David Mamet's writing is sharp.
All in all, if you liked Taken and want to see another one, Spartan will do.
The Specialist (1994)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/05
11/05:
The highlight of The Specialist is Sylvester Stallone showing off his bulging veins.
Why was I forced to see them? That's plain gross. Anyway, this one is more of a James Woods picture than Stallone's. The
former seems to be a caricature of himself. There's a confusing moment when Eric Roberts' character died while the
confrontation on the bus is bizarre. Afterwards, everything goes wrong, and nothing makes sense.
The script is poor, and there are many weak concepts. It's like watching Assassins all
over again although The Specialist was there first. Bombs have no impact on anyone nearby. Why cast Rod
Steiger, a white guy, as a Latino character?
All in all, Sylvester Stallone has simply lost it.
Speed (1994)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/04, 12/19
12/19:
Speed is unique because the star of the film is a mass transit bus.
That's all the people talked about back then when the movie hit the screens. Never mind getting through traffic so quickly
at 8:30 AM in Los Angeles which is one of the most congested in the nation, how the hell was the bus able to jump off and
clear fifty feet of nothing below? Eventually, a special feature was added for the DVD to explain how it was done through
the skillful editing with CGI that was still in infancy.
Once the bus blew up in front of the moving airplane, the momentum ended. Instead of stopping there, the director decided
to add more by improbably allowing Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) to go after the mad bomber, hence the point loss in my rating.
At the same time, Annie (Sandra Bullock) went along for the ride as an excuse for the contrived love subplot when she
should've been sent to the hospital and be done for the day.
The funniest part is the ethnicity makeup of the bus passengers. The casting director has done a good job of making
sure not to leave anyone out in order to represent the world. Oh, drat...he forgot to include a Pakistan with a turban, an
Arab with a hijab, and an Eskimo with a fishing spear. Well, next time. The sexually disturbing lines the Hispanic
passenger was supplied with strongly suggests he watches a lot of porn during his free time.
Many times in the past, I told people that before begin playing Speed they should immediately fast-forward the
opening credits because who the hell wants to watch an elevator shaft going down from one level to another? I don't
think I've seen anything this mind-numbing before.
There are many unbelievable, or rather painful, scenes. One is when Jack Traven jumped from the Jaguar car onto the bus and
his legs looked practically broken (surprisingly, Keanu Reeves did that stunt for real). It's just a dumb move when
he should've transitioned himself like how he did later from the bus to the van at the airport. The other is when he
readied the access panel to slide down while holding Annie; during that moment, I was like, "Why not make it easier by
just getting off the bus in the same manner like before?"
Although the acting is standard for the most part, Keanu Reeves is the standout as he's the catalyst of many action scenes
along with his professional demeanor as a SWAT officer. Having seen the film in 1994, I must say it's the
beginning, along with Point Break, that he was able to shed off the Ted "Theodore"
Logan image successfully by remaking himself into a bona fide action star. I'll be remiss if I don't mention how good
Joe Morton is as Lieutenant McMahon, Jack Traven's superior.
All in all, Speed is what I call an "edge-of-your-seat" thriller although it runs far too long after the mass
transit bus has had it.
The Spell (1977)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/15
5/15:
The Spell starts off well, has an absorbing premise, is turned into a cheap knockoff of
Carrie, and finishes with a "fuck you" ending.
"Fat" isn't an adjective I'll use to describe Rita, but "plain" is more like it. What I like in regard to how her
character is used is that she's not pretty as compared to her sister who's played by the very young Helen Hunt.
As seen through his taste for fine foods, luxurious adobes, and sporty cars, the father resents Rita due to her lack of
beauty and finds it hard to get along with her. His poor parenting skills and uncaring attitude are the result of the
misunderstandings between them.
On the other hand, the mother is a complex character who's torn apart by two polar opposites: Rita and her husband. She
tries to please both but want them to compromise for the sake of family harmony. Increasingly, she's powerless because
her husband has a differing opinion of how the matter should be handled which is sending her away halfway through the world.
It's a clear message that he simply doesn't want her around anymore.
Therefore, the strife within the family is the most interesting aspect. Unfortunately, things are marred by the revelation
of telekinetic powers possessed by several characters who happen to be witches. It's distracting and serves no
useful purpose to the story, hence ruining the film. There's a twist in the final ten minutes that I didn't see coming, yet
it doesn't make sense. When the movie ends, there are more questions than answers, and there's no apparent resolve to the
conflict.
All in all, if appropriately taken in a different direction, The Spell would've been a compelling picture about
family conflict.
Spellbound (1945)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
1/14
1/14:
Don't be fooled by several aspects of Spellbound.
Salvador Dalí's name is mentioned during the opening credits, so his work should be easily identifiable. Well, it's
there all right: a lifelike replica of what could've been a painting.
Without doubt, the dream sequence is the best part of the film. Yet Salvador Dalí didn't have much of a say
because his creativity got shortchanged by the ever-myopic David O. Selznick who found the original sequence too
long and irrelevant. So there went Spellbound.
Instead, it's a laughable and awful film. Who can but the gullible believe the far-fetched psychobabble crap that's
spewed out? My eyes rolled often during many harebrained scenes that bordered between stupid and illogical. Speaking of
silly, Ingrid Bergman attempts to look cool while smoking a cigarette off the holder.
There's no way that a female psychoanalyst will risk her career for something so irrational and illegal considering
the era she lived in when no respect was paid to women's rights. During the time, the only viable careers for them were
schoolteacher, nun, and housewife. Even prostitution wasn't out of the question. On the other hand, Gregory Peck displays
the usual wooden acting, and therefore, he's not believable.
Notice in the movie poster that Gregory Peck is holding a razor blade knife behind Ingrid Bergman's back. Well, it
appears for a brief minute in the film which has nothing to do with the plot. During the latter half, a Sigmund
Freud look-alike shows up. That's just poor, Mr. Alfred Hitchcock.
All in all, haing relied too much on false advertising and psychobabble, Spellbound is a rare Hitchcockian misfire.
Spice World (1997)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
2/21
2/21:
As conscious as I was in 1997, the Spice Girls never entered my mind.
Therefore, it's taken me so long to see Spice World which sucks on every level. Did they blatantly rip off the
idea from A Hard Day's Night featuring the Beatles? Both films are similar
in terms of randomness before taking a break to sing. Even the boss is cranky, nagging on the band members to show up on
time. The finale consists of a concert. As for the songs, there's no contest: the Beatles had well-written, catchy
lyrics while the Spice Girls' are just plain rubbish.
The biggest problem about the five females is they're virtually indistinguishable, at least from a personality standpoint.
Not only that, but the editor also has to make rapid cuts by going from one character to another, making for a
disorientating film. As a result, it has been a madcap of pure nonsense.
To make it worse is the Spice Girls wearing at least four-inch thick platform shoes to hide the fact that they're almost
midgets. The cameos of a few well-known stars are curious. Most claimed they only did the film because their
children were big fans. Interestingly, a current real-life singer admitted that she thought it was a fictional band
just like Spinal Tap. I would've said the same thing, too.
All in all, the Beatles were supremely talented while the Spice Girls weren't, having to resort to showing off lots of
skin to get attention.
Spies Like Us (1985)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/04, 4/08
4/08:
Spies Like Us looks like an obvious choice for a funny picture because the lead actors are Dan Aykroyd and Chevy
Chase.
But sadly, that's not the case. For starters, the plot is weak. Nobody is going to believe the crap about two fake
American agents who travel from Pakistan to Russia on foot with no food or water and are able to find nuclear warheads
in the middle of nowhere before punching in the correct code to set them off. These two idiots should've questioned how
they got there so easily.
I admit the funniest part is when Chevy Chase had an eye patch on and his arm in a sling, cheating on the test while
trying to elicit Dan Aykroyd's help. After that, it's been downhill. At least, nothing beats the sight of Donna Dixon
coming out of the tent. She's currently Dan Aykroyd's wife.
All in all, Spies Like Us is disappointing given the two top comedy actors.
The Spiral Staircase (1946)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
The Spiral Staircase is a hybrid of Clue and Mute Witness.
Although better than either of the aforementioned films, it reeks of poor acting. Ethel Barrymore gives an x-double minus
performance. I like the story which builds up the suspense well. However, the mystery is easy to figure out. If Mrs.
Warren was smart as a whip, she should've seen through the whole thing right from the start.
It's funny how the film feels so much like Clue. Take the mute, it's Miss White with
the candle; we also have Blanche as Miss Scarlett with the typewriter, Stephen as Colonel Mustard with his arrogance,
Professor Warren as Professor Plum with his manners, and Mrs. Warren as Ms. Peacock with her eccentricities.
All in all, better acting would've done The Spiral Staircase justice.
The Spitfire Grill (1996)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/24
3/24:
The Spitfire Grill is a semi-cheesy movie about a special girl who moves to a special town that's inhabited by
special people who are surrounded by special trees in front of the special sky (look at the movie poster to see what
I mean).
I think that covers just about everything. Oh, all right, I'll give Percy a pass because of what happened to her when she
was young. It fits her low-IQ behavior and her way of thinking, hence the tragedy at the end. Now, whose fault was that?
I say it's a tie: Hannah Ferguson and Nahum Goddard. The former went too far and crossed the line when she had a fight
with Percy while the latter was clearly cracked in the head.
Um, mind telling me why Hannah's son is living out there in the woods for years and years? The movie doesn't bother to
explain. Of course, I'm forced to sit through it for two hours after Percy is shown answering phones as a representative of
Maine's tourism industry while in prison, and I'm not allowed to know why she's there in the first place until the end.
As a matter of fact, The Spitfire Grill is a horror movie in disguise. When Percy passed away, a new girl came over
from somewhere because of the essay contest to replace her. The moment that I knew is when Joe's brain started clicking as
soon as he saw her and had the moves ready which were applied earlier on Percy. All I could think of is yelling at the girl
to run away as far as possible from this dangerous town that's called Gilead. The sight of Nahum and his wife who are
back to their normal selves validates what I'm talking about.
Speaking of the essay contest, I first thought, "Not a bad idea," Then, I started wondering what could go wrong. The
answer is plenty. One, the originator can collect all of the monies but award the café to a relative in her family, thus
keeping both within the family. Two, what happens if the minimum reserve isn't met? That is, what if it's $200,000 short
of the goal? Do they go ahead with it or refund the money to everybody? Three, the letters can be faked; they'll make up
anything to pass for quality writing which is called "gaming the system." Then again, what's there to lose? It's only $100
to win something that's worth perhaps $250,000. At any rate, it's a lot of work, and the originators are better off
spinning the wheel and picking a winner. The only surprise is nobody came from out of town to look over the place first.
Anyway, Alison Elliott and Marcia Gay Harden are okay. Playing an unlikeable character, Ellen Burstyn gets my vote for
the most melodramatic performance of the year. Will Patton has done this too many times throughout his career. It's time
for him to find a new character or, better yet, retire for good.
All in all, The Spitfire Grill is full of sentimental crap that can be found on Lifetime channel.
Splendor in the Grass (1961)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/15
6/15:
Splendor in the Grass is 60% theatrical and 40% cinematic while the love story between Bud and Deanie falls flat
throughout.
Despite hints of histrionics, Natalie Wood shows some maturity by playing a complex character by the name of Deanie.
However, it's not until This Property Is Condemned that she'll finally
break through by achieving a perfect balance of mixed emotions to make herself arresting and dominant at once.
Unfortunately, Deanie's problems are too silly to care about. Perhaps it's because Warren Beatty, in his screen debut,
is a poor actor. Moreover, he's miscast, failing to make any connection with Natalie Wood. Warren Beatty has no moments
for me to believe him as Bud due to his lack of emotional range which explains why he didn't do many movies
career-wise. For a while, I thought his character was going to declare homosexuality or impotency.
At least, there's nice cinematography going on that's basked in the glory of Technicolor with a sizeable palette of colors
which brings the most out of Natalie Wood's natural beauty. But Elia Kazan is unable to replicate his success from
A Streetcar Named Desire,
On the Waterfront,
Rebel Without a Cause, and East of Eden
simply because he doesn't have either Marlon Brando or James Dean to fall back on which explains why his career had been in a
slow decline, starting with Baby Doll in 1956 and ending with
The Last Tycoon in 1976 with only six films in between.
One of the director's mistakes is introducing Ginny, Bud's sister, played by Barbara Loden who's actually
Elia's mistress-turned-wife. She comes in, makes a big scene, steals a lot of attention, and then disappears
for good, becoming an afterthought. So, what's the point of having Loden on board if nobody is impacted by her
character? Thankfully, Hollywood kicked her out for good. By the way, Sandy Dennis, the Oscar winner for
Who's Afraid of Virignia Woolf?, makes her screen debut.
All in all, Splendor in the Grass has numerous flaws that prevent the love story to come through.
Split Image (1982)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/24
4/24:
I wonder if Vernon Howell saw Split Image before deciding what to do for the rest of his life.
If you don't know who that is, then surely you'll recognize him as David Koresh of Waco, Texas, infamy. There are eerie
parallels. Of course, Charles Manson and Jim Jones were there first. The makeup of their cults is almost similar to what's
presented in the film. Yet sex has been missing the entire time. It's the biggest reason, besides power, why the leaders
are interested in having their own cult. Drugs can sometimes play a role, too. The religion crap is just noise.
I like how the film is heavy on the deprogramming stuff, but the biggest mistake the filmmakers made is not spending enough time on
the brainwashing process. It's not that simple for a person to be converted in a matter of few days; I'll say it takes a
year or longer for him to buy into the program because the messages have to be pounded through his head over and over.
Another winning feature is the strong cast: Michael O'Keefe of The Great Santini,
Karen Allen, Peter Fonda, James Woods, and Brian Dennehy. The last two worked together again in an even better film:
Best Seller. If you watch the evolution of Danny Stetson's hair, it's
the result of a bad diet. To come think of it, there may have been drugs in the food in order for the brainwashing to
happen which explains why his head was feeling pain during the deprogramming. Then, Amy said something about not having her
period for the longest time, hence the low sex drive by the community overall.
Either way, Danny got sold into Homeland which means he was a weak person in the first place along with mental and emotional issues
as evidenced by the philosophy espoused by his little brother after he was prompted by James Woods' character. Ditto
for Amy who's hopeless beyond repair. Given his 60's vibe à la Easy Rider,
Peter Fonda fits the role of a cult leader very well, but he isn't developed enough to be truly effective.
Once again, James Woods gives the best performance of the show. He almost always dominates every film in an arrogant
"son of a bitch" way. His character has the most interesting job in the world. I bet he tells people in bars, "What I do
for a living is kidnap young adults from cult groups, dry their brains out by using any means possible, and bring them back to
their families. Yeah, it's fascinating, but enough of that bullshit...now, go get me a drink."
All in all, Split Image is an impressive film that may have foretold the rise of David Koresh and his cult.
Spook Louder (1943)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
Spook Louder is another moronic comedy short from the Three Stooges.
Nothing is funny, and I didn't laugh once.
All in all, the Three Stooges are producing crap that's almost on the same level of awfulness of Charlie Chaplin's film shorts.
Spoorloos (1988)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/07, 12/14
6/07:
I saw The Vanishing with Kiefer Sutherland and Sandra Bullock several times.
I thought it was an intriguing piece of work, but I didn't know until a while later that it was a remake of
Spoorloos. Starting off slowly by getting everybody in place, the ball rolls faster by the time the
female lead disappears. Finally, the mystery deepens with an unparalleled ending. I don't think the word obsession has
been sharply defined as it does here.
Without doubt, Spoorloos is a quintessential Hitchcockian movie. One of the most remarkable qualities is the
director's willingness to reveal the identity of a sociopathic killer from the get-go and show his routine while
taking his time to unfold the layers of how and why he has become this sort of person.
Therefore, the pace is deliberate, and the nonlinear approach creates tension in order for the shocking climax to happen.
The final realization of killer's achievement, which is akin to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, makes the film a chilling
horror classic. Meanwhile, the cast is good, but it's Bernard-Pierre Donnadieu who gives a performance that many actors
crave to deliver. Not many films take the time to develop the main character as well as his.
All in all, Spoorloos is superior to the remake in every aspect.
12/14:
I'm downgrading my rating of Spoorloos from '10' to '8'.
There are two primary reasons: slow pace and ordinary story. Sure, the ending is clever which reminds me of Edgar Allan
Poe's short story The Cask of Amontillado with a bit of The Collector
thrown in.
Yet I've suffered throughout by waiting for things to happen, so it has been a quagmire. At first, I was awed by
Bernard-Pierre Donnadieu's performance, but I realize now he's mundane and nothing special. Sure, it's interesting to
watch how his character developed his modus operandi. Now, do you know why Saskia and Rex died? It's because
they were stupid to begin with.
All in all, Spoorloos holds up well, but it's a slow movie.
Spring Break (1983)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
10/12
10/12:
Sean Cunningham makes an about-face by going from the Friday the 13th pictures
to Spring Break.
The film is at once good and funny. Moreover, the whole thing looks authentic, and what a time it must have been during
spring breaks of the 80's. Yet the subplot involving a politician and the whole motel thing is lame, taking away a
lot of focus. Instead, there should be an American Graffiti feel throughout
for nostalgic reasons.
Without question, O.T. steals every scene. I wish his stunt of jumping from the tree into the pool was more
realistic. On the other hand, look at guys like O.T. and Stu, and look at others like Adam and Nelson. There's a huge
difference in how they act and behave. That's why these alpha males get the girls while the rest don't, and you'll
start to understand why it doesn't take brains to score.
All in all, Spring Break is way better than The Real Cancun by a thousand
of miles.
Spring Breakers (2012)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/25
4/25:
There's no question that Harmony Korine is a rip-off artist.
Think I'm easily fooled when it comes to Spring Breakers? A radical update of
Spring Break, the first half is a desperate attempt to emulate Larry Clark
while the second half is all Belly. Go ahead and compare the last thirty minutes
with the beginning of the latter...it's exactly the same style. To confirm it,
Gummo, Harmony Korine's first directorial picture, was playing in the background
after the gang returned to one of their houses.
James Franco is the wild card. The four girls were sucking so bad on their own, and I couldn't even tell
their characters apart. By the time the actor showed up, the movie began to get better. I was thinking of '2'
prior to that only because I had seen The Real Cancun
and nothing could beat the awfulness of it. Harmony Korine can't be repeating the same scene of morons drinking
themselves to death and taking off their tops for so long. It doesn't make the show any better
or more meaningful unless his intention is T&A galore like it's the 80's.
Casting Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Ashley Benson, and Rachel Korine in the lead roles is the biggest
mistake of Spring Breakers. If they aren't going to take off their clothes, be drunk like crazy, and have
sex with various men, what's the point? It's like talking about wanting to do gay stuff constantly but partake of
nothing much afterwards. In other words, they aren't true actresses who want to be challenged. The
following taken from IMDb punctuates what I mean:
"[Selena] Gomez was excited to do it because she was looking for a way to break into more mature roles and
get away from the Disney and other family projects she'd been doing. But the only way she'd take the role is
if she didn't have to perform nude."
Back to James Franco, he stole the movie when the limelight was on his character, explaining what he did for a
living. That's when I thought it was an Oscar-worthy performance. There was a campaign to drum up support
for James Franco, but I guess the voters didn't want to after seeing him show off his narcissism, especially
when he had a three-way sex with the remaining two girls.
According to Wikipedia, "critics and scholars have read deeper meaning in the plot, commenting on its
reflection of modern superficiality and the younger generation's self-destructive obsession with highly
stylized, disposable pop culture media and sensory ephemera." Uh............................don't make me
laugh. Are these people so fucking dumb?!? It's been like this for decades and can be found in lots and
lots of films and music videos.
All in all, Spring Breakers proves that Harmony Korine will never be on the same level as Larry Clark.
Spun (2002)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
Maybe ten minutes into Spun, it had become clear to me that it's a rip-off of
Requiem for a Dream (dilated pupils, anyone?).
What I didn't anticipate is how bad the drug-glorifying movie was going to be. Hence, the title
should be Spun Out of Control. In the absence of a plot, the chaotic style makes it difficult to watch.
Despite looking somewhat washed-up, Mickey Rourke almost saves the picture from being a total turkey. Unfortunately, he's
given little to work with. I'm surprised to see his one-time co-star Eric Roberts wasting his time with this unredeemable
piece of trash. They must have needed the money badly.
Why is it I'm forced to accept the idea that it's okay to leave a tied-up naked woman with her eyes and mouth duct-taped
for several days? She'll piss and defecate on the mattress and be close to the point of death due to lack of water
or food. It's stupid when somebody stays up for five days straight, all drugged out, and still looks good. Ditto
for the undercover agents shooting up drugs in their veins while on the job à la Rush. I
read somewhere that Spun was meant to be a comedy movie. Uh, no.
All in all, remember the scene when the girl dropped one in the toilet...that's where Spun is at.
Spy Game (2001)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
8/23
8/23:
Spy Game asks too much from me.
The more complicated the plot is, the less I care. My tune would've been different if it was based on real events like
All the President's Men. Hence, I can see why Robert Redford picked this
project because he needed something that's intellectually stimulating. Sadly, I hate his character because of his direct
coldness.
So...Brad Pitt's character did it for his girlfriend? But they made no connection whatsoever. It's very shallow stuff.
According to IMDb, "Tony Scott wanted to add more of a love story between Bishop (Brad Pitt) and Elizabeth (Catherine
McCormack), but he lost to the producers, who wanted the relationship to develop more off-screen." Ditto for the pairing
of Robert Redford and Brad Pitt who only did the film for his co-star. Funnily enough, they never age at all, no matter
how much time passes.
The film style is fine and typical of Tony Scott, but it's been done before in
Enemy of the State. Highly capable
and visionary in his own right, he can't be repeating the same formula when he should've moved on to something else.
By the way, the Padres cap is wrong for the time as it's supposed to be brown with a yellow in the middle.
All in all, Spy Game doesn't work if it can't make me care about what's going on.
The Spy Who Came in
from the Cold (1965)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
8/02, 2/09, 12/18
2/09:
Move over, James Bond...here comes a real spy by the name of Alec Leamas.
When I saw The Spy Who Came in from the Cold while back, it was my first introduction to Richard Burton, and ever
since then, I've remained fascinated by his brilliance in acting. He has never looked more beautiful in black and white.
It's a dark, complicated film with no characters to root for. I just sit staring at the screen and not knowing what to
think of. For an unassuming spy picture, it's brilliantly made but difficult to make heads or tails of.
All in all, Richard Burton gives one of the best performances of his career in The Spy Who Came in from the Cold,
a top five espionage picture.
12/18:
I remember being mesmerized by The Spy Who Came in from the Cold when I first saw it.
The bottom line is: none of the James Bond movies doesn't hold a candle to it. Closely following John le Carré's novel
sans a name change for Claire Bloom's character, it's not the kind of movie that a first-time viewer will fully understand
the plot, hence the high replayability value.
Nominated for Best Actor Academy Award, Richard Burton is so good as Alec Leamas, a "seedy, squalid" spy who has seen it
all and is therefore disgusted with life. If there's anything I'm envious of Richard Burton, it's his awesome-looking
raincoat which is a must-have item.
All in all, Richard Burton gave many great performances, and what he did for The Spy Who Came in from the Cold
ranks in the top two or three of his career.
The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
2/11
2/11:
Ah, yes...The Spy Who Loved Sex.
It's about James Bond the poon hound going through women like socks on a daily basis. Hence, he's the biggest sex addict
to ever grace the silver screen. So, what else is new for this joke of a franchise?
I have to say the editing looks good. This time, I wasn't bored. The action is better in spite of the recycled cinematic
elements from previous films. Now, I'm getting used to Roger Moore who took over Sean Connery's role, and he does well at
it.
Here's a little known fact about Barbara Bach, who plays the Russian agent, is that she's married to Ringo Starr of The
Beatles. Her character is often belittled by James Bond who continues to treat all women as sex objects. It's all about
leveraging them to gain a foothold for the mission's sake.
There's one thing that has bothered me since the franchise started, It's when he keeps using his real name
in every film yet is supposed to be a spy? Another is—well, this is well known by now—anyone can have him
killed just as easily but lets him go for a stupid reason or another. All they have to do is hire ten sharpshooters to
take him out while he's walking across the hotel lobby.
All in all, The Spy Who Loved Sex is for losers.
Squanto: A Warrior's Tale (1994)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/14
5/14:
There are two sides of Squanto: A Warrior's Tale: historically inaccurate and Disney version.
Going with the former first, I must suspend my disbelief and not to roll my eyes too much. It's impossible to
believe the English didn't see any natives because the Columbian Exchange was well underway for over a century.
How Squanto quickly picked up English and spoke so fluently is another.
Back then, when the conquistadors arrived in a newly discovered land and met with the natives, whatever the tribe was,
for the first time, most of the indigenous population got wiped out not too long afterwards due to not being familiar
with the biological agents. So, it's a surprise that many survived after the initial contact in
Squanto: A Warrior's Tale. Okay, that's enough for now.
For a Disney film, it's free of objectionable content minus several violent scenes which are mostly concealed.
Therefore, Squanto: A Warrior's Tale can be safely shown to children. However, I don't like how the villains, most
especially Michael Gambon's obsequious Sir George, are portrayed as caricatures.
Three phases are shown: Squanto's home and the initial contact with conquistadors, his time in England with the monks,
and his return to home. The first is bland, being more of "let's get it out of the way as quickly as possible." The
second is the best although the monks should be the focal point of the film. The third is when the whole juggling act
has gotten to be too much.
The scene when Squanto tried to make peace with pilgrims is inadvisable. They should've thought it out more. Hence,
Squanto: A Warrior's Tale can be regarded as a lightweight American Indian film as compared to
Dances With Wolves and
The Last of the Mohicans. Speaking of the latter, Eric Schweig is, of
course, a familiar face, but unfortunately, he is no actor who's overshadowed by his fifteen minutes of fame for being
the last Mohican. Adam Beach is fine but isn't capable of leading a film.
All in all, if I have to pick between Squanto: A Warrior's Tale and any 30's to 50's picture that involves American
Indians, I'm going with the former because it moves well, has nice costumes, and isn't objectionable in any way.
Square Dance (1987)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/17
10/17:
Square Dance marks Winona Ryder's screen debut in a leading role, and she makes the most of her character.
Unfortunately, the rest of the film isn't as great as it seems to be, and the story is ridiculous. Although there
are true slices of human drama, they sometimes come off as heavy-handed.
If there's a silver lining, it's Rob Lowe. He does a good job of playing a sweet mentally impaired boy who happens to play the
violin skillfully well. In fact, if I plan to revisit the film, it'll be because of him. Of course, Winona Ryder was going to turn
out to be beautiful because she had already been so. It reminds me of the joke with Danica McKeller for
The Wonder Years.
All in all, Square Dance has its moments but isn't convincing enough.
St. Elmo's Fire (1985)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/07, 6/20
10/07:
Calling the Guinness Book of Records, we have a winner here: St. Elmo's Fire for the film with the most unlikable
characters.
Let me reiterate that: it's about seven worthless recent college graduates with useless problems. Every time something
goes wrong, my answer has been uniformly the same: "Like I care." Funnily, why don't I see black people except for
one who happens to be a hooker?
Predictions are easy to make when it comes to what will happen to each character. Kevin Dolenz (Andrew McCarthy) will
turn into a fragile hermit, ultimately finding no meaning in his life. Alec Newbury (Judd Nelson) will be caught having
sex with a male page in the bathroom stall and thus be forced out of politics. His ex, Leslie Hunter (Ally Sheedy), will
turn out fine with family and kids.
Jules (Demi Moore) will kill herself by overdosing on barbiturates before she's 25 while Dale Biberman (Andie MacDowell)
will have the best life by traveling around the world as doctor's wife. As soon as Kirby Keager (Emilio Estevez),
failing at everything in life, finds out about it, he'll go berserk one day over a broken pencil and be locked up in an
insane asylum.
Billy Hicks (Rob Lowe) will become an alcoholic with severe hair loss and get arrested for statutory rape. Oh, right...it
did happen to the actor in 1988, forcing him to check into rehab soon thereafter for sex, alcohol, and drug addictions.
Wendy Beamish (Mare Willingham) gets the shock of her life by finding out that she tested positive for at least seven
different types of STDs because of her one-night stand with Billy.
All in all, why is the film called St. Elmo's Fire if nobody hangs out that much over there?
6/20:
The worst and cheesiest The Big Chill picture of the 80's goes to *drum roll*
St. Elmo's Fire.
Remember they were called "The Brat Pack"? Make that "The Untalented Pack." Okay, I'll let Rob Lowe, who
was 19 at that time, off the hook because he did have some talent. But the rest? Nah, forget it. Like James Spader
in Pretty in Pink, Andie MacDowell was too good for everybody and went on to
do better films.
The trouble with St. Elmo's Fire is that it's a shallow movie about superficial, corny, and overprivileged
whitebread characters. Let's not kid ourselves: they graduated from Georgetown University (which strongly disapproved the
film, so they shot it on location at the University of Maryland's College Park campus) yet didn't know how to get their
shit together? To come to think of it, Reality Bites does look better in comparison.
All in all, instead of aging well like fine wine, St. Elmo's Fire is like a can of stale coca-cola that's
thirty years past its expiration date.
Stage Fright (1950)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
5/06
5/06:
It would be nice if Alfred Hitchcock made another thriller that's along the lines of
The 39 Steps.
Well, it's too bad because Stage Fright isn't one of them. For a Hitchcockian picture, I've never seen worse
acting, more contrived dialogue, and lamer plot. Why...I was bored to tears.
I'm disgusted with the overindulgence of Marlene Dietrich and don't think of her a great beauty. All
she does is act pompous, make funny faces, and throw holier-than-you looks. None of that crap works on me. At this rate
she's going, Marlene Dietrich will need a giant cork taken out of her tight ass.
All in all, Alfred Hitchcock would overcome the failure of Stage Fright by making infinitely better films
afterwards.
Stagecoach (1986)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
1/17
1/17:
Four legends of country-western music get together to star in the remake of John Wayne's film entitled Stagecoach.
I'm sure Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash, and Kris Kristofferson had lots of fun doing this.
Let's be real: it's not a good movie. The acting is stiff. It's like watching an 80's episode of a 50's western TV
sitcom. The story is average. Hardly much happens, and there's no sense of urgency to get things going.
Whoever did the makeup has done a piss-poor job. Elizabeth Ashley's spray-on tan is obvious.
John Schneider, who played Bo Duke in The Dukes of Hazzard, stars. Also included is June Carter, Johnny Cash's wife.
All in all, although pointless, Stagecoach will do on a rainy Sunday afternoon, so you can fall asleep.
Stakeout (1987)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
7/15
7/15:
I saw Stakeout at a theatre in 1987 and thought of it as a good buddy cop film.
However, the comedy was never there. The rest of everything else was inconsequential. Having seen it again recently,
my opinion hasn't changed much.
The most memorable is Richard Dreyfuss' performance. He carries the film well. His chemistry with Madeleine Stowe,
in her first big role, is fun to watch. More of an afterthought, Emilio Estevez, who sports an interesting mustache, is
only there when needed. I didn't recognize Aidan Quinn as the bad guy the first time around. But knowing him from
Legends of the Fall, he's now a recognizable actor. His character makes
for a formidable antagonist in this picture.
Taken from IMDb, the following piece is funny: "Richard Dreyfuss and Emilio Estevez were having a
movie trivia contest on the set one day. Estevez asked Dreyfuss to identify the movie that the line 'This is no boating
accident' was from. Dreyfuss didn't recognize the quote, despite the fact that he was the actor who said it in
Jaws (1975). Deciding that this was too good to pass up, this incident was re-enacted
for the film."
All in all, Stakeout is a by-the-numbers policier, but Richard Dreyfuss makes it worth watching.
Stalag 17 (1953)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/13
1/13:
In Stalag 17, William Holden shows why he was a star or, rather, why he was a great actor.
What he did feels like a supporting performance. Forget everybody else in the cast: they're a dime a dozen. I had a
hard time believing in the setup: homosexual POWs, German caricatures, and unrealistic conditions of a concentration camp.
That's why I go with The Great Escape.
All in all, William Holden is the sole reason why Stalag 17 gets a lofty '5' from me; otherwise, it's a dud.
Stalingrad (1993)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/09
3/09:
The title Stalingrad is misleading.
I was expecting a huge battle among hundreds of thousands of desperate Germans and Russians on the frozen tundra.
Instead, I got a cheap remake of
All Quiet on the Western Front which followed only six men.
Well, excuse me if I don't care about these German soldiers. As a matter of fact, their portrayal is unrealistic in terms
of emotion and vulnerability, especially for 1942-43. It becomes stupid after they've found goldmine, which is the
cellar, yet decide to leave.
The film look is amateurish. The acting is okay but melodramatic. On the whole, the
makeup looks effective. But honestly, I wanted an orgy of violence...the whole nine yards of
Braveheart and Saving Private Ryan.
Did I see it? Nooooo...all I got was silly scenes, a paper-thin plot, and crappy dialogue. At least,
the ending is appropriate which signifies the failure of the entire picture.
All in all, Stalingrad is disappointing and, worst of all, cheap.
Stand and Deliver (1988)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/03, 12/03, 2/12, 1/21
2/12:
I won't go so far as to call Stand and Deliver a powerful film; in fact, it's misleading.
However, it's a good motivational piece of work for education. If these Mexican American kids can do calculus, the
movie says that you can, too. I've been doing mathematics for over thirty years and know all of the subjects up to calculus
pretty well. Well, guess what? Most people can't do it.
There's too much involved; it takes years of hard work to get to that point and do it as well. It's due to a combination
of many concepts from algebra, geometry, and trigonometry with tons of memorization of rules which often involve multiple
steps. Hence, the film saying anyone can do it in a year's time, going from arithmetic to calculus, bothers me.
It's why only a small percentage of people get this far. The ability to read is also fundamental. There are a lot of word
problems involved in math. Anyway, I'll let you in a secret: calculus is worthless and never used almost 100% of the
time in real life outside of academics; it's just a nice practice for the brain.
Back to Stand and Deliver, it's an okay film but highly inaccurate in some respects. The AP Calculus program at
Garfield High School was a decade in the making. Already equipped with twelve years of teaching experience under his
belt in Bolivia prior to his arrival, Jaime Escalante didn't start teaching calculus until his fifth year on the job.
And no, he didn't suffer a heart attack but an inflammation of the gallbladder. By the way, he died from bladder cancer
two years ago.
When Jaime Escalante started teaching calculus in 1979, he had five students, and the prestige of the program rose slowly after a
couple passed the AP exam. What most people don't know is the students who scored 4's or 5's were already Ivy league
material; in other words, they were among the elites in the academic sense who would've succeeded anyway, not the poor,
simple-minded Mexican Americans like the movie would have you believe. They may have been handpicked out of
over 4,000 students.
After Stand and Deliver was theatrically released, Jaime Escalante suddenly became popular, and it began to get
through his head, causing a fallout with the school. Because of the growing number of students in the AP Calculus
program, he wanted to create two math departments: one for him and the other for the rest. After Jaime Escalante left
in 1991, the success rate of the AP Calculus program dove big time by over 70%, and today, it's zero at Garfield High
School.
Edward James Olmos is perfect for the role although his looks have shockingly declined since the heyday of
Miami Vice. He gained twenty pounds and went for the receding hairline look to emulate the teacher. Obviously,
it's Lou Diamond Phillips who steals every scene. An Oscar nomination for him shouldn't have been out of the question.
What he did in this and La Bamba was the apogee of his career. Afterwards, Lou
Diamond Phillips gradually disappeared from the Hollywood map.
All in all, regardless of the negatives, Stand and Deliver makes for a worthwhile viewing, but how the AP Calculus
program was constructed as shown is simply impossible.
1/21:
Stand and Deliver is a solid, if quite misleading, movie.
What sucks is the paucity of mathematics shown. When Pancho was doing a problem, which is the integral of
x2sinxdx, that made him mad, he did the correct procedure: integration by parts.
What he did wrong was to expand instead of condense it, so he had the parts in the wrong order. Anyway, it's
a common mistake that happens to everybody.
The scandal happened in 1982 when 14 students were accused of cheating on the AP Calculus exam because of the unusual
consistency in the low number of errors across the board. There are only two explanations: they either cheated or were
taught the same way. A simple resolution would be retaking it. So, 12 did, at a higher level of supervision, and still
showed the same level of excellence. However, nine students cheated on one problem, #6 of the free response section,
by passing around a note with the same flawed solution.
After encountering problems at Garfield High School, Jaime Escalante quit teaching in 1991 and was hired at Hiram Johnson
High School in Sacramento, having enjoyed a small amount of success, before retiring in 1998. Either way, for a student to
make this far to take AP calculus and pass the exam, he has to be pretty good in math when the movie tried to say anyone
could do it which isn't possible. There's a selection process involved, hence the math courses to weed out the weak ones.
Great acting is all over the place. Although Edward James Olmos received an Oscar nomination, Lou Diamond
Phillips should've gotten it, too. Andy Garcia was actually cast to play one of the students but convinced the filmmakers to
make him an ETS official. If Jamie Escalante's wife looks familiar, it's because Rosanna DeSoto played Lou Diamond Phillips'
mother in La Bamba. The writing is very good, but it's high on motivation talk but
low in math. Then again, the words came from Jaime Escalante himself. When he confronted the officials from ETS, what
he said in the film was exactly the same.
All in all, Stand and Deliver is a fine movie but does the public disservice by not telling how it happened for real.
Stand by Me (1986)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/04, 2/25
2/25:
Stand by Me is pure grade A cheese.
It's the script that's so bad, forcing everybody to give corny performances. The concepts are fine and should
be kept in as they are. Had the movie been made during the 50's, the conversations among kids would sound better
and, more importantly, cleaner. That's why Rob Reiner directed great classics such as
This Is Spinal Tap,
The Princess Bride,
Misery, and A Few Good Men but failed when it came to
The Sure Thing and When Harry Met Sally... due to language.
The four kids (Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, and Jerry O'Connell) tried their best, and I'm
not going to fault them. But let's not kid ourselves: Gordie and Chris were closet homosexual lovers. There have
been plenty of moments to support this theory.
On the other hand, Teddy hated Vern and would've bullied him badly if they still stayed acquainted. The whole
time, I had these four kids pegged as future school shooters, but after seeing the dead body, they found
humanity for the first time which caused them to forget any notion of killing.
At least, the ending is well-done. After Gordie mentioned the outcome of the other three kids, I wondered what
happened to the leader of the gang (Kiefer Sutherland). He probably went to prison or died of drugs. Of all
scenes, the most memorable is the kids being covered with leeches with Gordie having the worst moment of his life.
All in all, it's not that Stand by Me hadn't aged well but rather it was never good to begin with.
Star 80 (1983)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/20, 2/20
1/20:
The final film for Cabaret's director Bob Fosse, Star 80 presents a compelling
story of how a Playboy Playmate of the Year named Dorothy Stratten was raped and murdered by her husband Paul Snider.
Because of his "personality of a pimp," Eric Roberts is captivating and gives the performance of his career.
Unbelievably, he wasn't nominated for an Oscar, let alone win it. I don't think there'll be a better or more realistic
characterization of somebody with bipolar behavior that's taken to the extreme. By all accounts, Eric Roberts' portrayal
of Paul Snider was "right on the money."
To counteract Eric Roberts' awesome acting is the wonderful, soft performance by Mariel Hemingway who also deserved an
Oscar nomination. Her transformation from a naïve, groomed high schooler to a mature, experienced young adult is the
key to the unraveling of their relationship because she's basically pimped for money and access to stars.
Honestly, I've never heard of the story until now and say it's a better movie than
Boogie Nights since they both delve into the silly, shallow world of porn.
Disliked by many, Hugh Hefner (Cliff Robertson) was a joke for decades, and it evidently shows in the film.
You'll see a guy named Aram. That's really Peter Bogdanovich, the director of
The Last Picture Show. Dorothy Stratten
was cast in his film entitled They All Laughed (which was changed to Tinsel Time for legal reasons).
After her murder, Peter Bogdanovich oddly married Dorothy's younger sister, who was 20 at that time, eight years later.
They divorced in 2001. Also, you'll see a black comic telling jokes, and that's Keenen Ivory Wayans in his feature film
debut.
All in all, Eric Roberts should've won the Oscar for his sleazy yet spellbinding performance in Star 80.
2/20:
Forget about being snubbed for a nomination; Eric Roberts should've won the Oscar for his performance in Star 80.
All in all, Star 80 is all Eric Roberts.
Star Wars (1977)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/03, 5/17
5/17:
When I think of the most overrated movie of all time, Star Wars immediately comes to my mind.
Honestly, it's not that über special as the fans claim it to be. Most likely, they weren't intelligent enough to get
2001: A Space Odyssey which pretty much blows the doors off Star Wars
in all aspects and remains the game changer of the sci-fi genre that hasn't been equalled since then and won't ever be.
The work for 2001: A Space Odyssey began in 1963 and took five years to
complete. That's almost fifteen years before Star Wars came along. What I remember the most about the latter
is how clunky the graphics were compared to the former.
Since the advent of DVDs, George Lucas commissioned a clean-up job for Star Wars, and it looks a lot
better now, yet there are some awkward-looking images such as the white-halo light around several spacecrafts and the
Death Star as a miniature set. Even the gunplay looks poor.
Although the characters are iconic, they, with the exception of R2-D2, aren't interesting if I think about
them deeply. C-3PO and Han Solo are annoying. As simple as the characters are, the story is
even more basic. That's why Star Wars can be longer although the last thirty minutes is boring. One stupid
part is Ben Kenobi letting himself be killed so easily. The reason for the film's high replayability value is the
terminology to keep up with. It's hard to escape the trivia questions from time to time. Hence, you should make sure
to know the following stuff well:
Han Solo's spaceship is the Millennium Falcon. Luke Skywalker's guardians are Owen and Beru Lars. The planet
that was blown up is called Alderaan. The town where Luke and Ben Kenobi visited is Mos Eisley. The guys in the white
uniform are called Imperial Stormtroopers. Han shot Greedo first. Chewbacca is a Wookiee. Luke's spacecraft is an X-wing
fighter. The planet that Luke is from is Tatooine. Peter Cushing plays Tarkin. The crawl message at the beginning of the
film moves from south to north and begins with two sentences: "It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking
from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire."
All right, moving on. Now, this is maybe the biggest negative of Star Wars: the post-release changes. When a film
has been theatrically released and thus seen by everybody, they'll like to revisit the original as it was. I'm one of them.
Approximately 99% of films in cinema history have been left intact.
When a clean-up job is performed, it's usually to fix the image which is the reason why many films look
outstanding on DVD. That's the nice part about technology. But the bad news is the ability to go back
to add or delete stuff aka rewriting history. That's exactly what George Lucas did with
Star Wars and the following two sequels.
In all my history of watching films, I've never seen anything like this. It has to be the biggest crime ever committed. I
didn't pay any attention before or bother to learn why people hate George Lucas. After seeing the DVD version of
Star Wars with a bit of research afterwards, I can now understand why. Hence, he turned the franchise into a
huge cash cow.
When I began playing Star Wars, there were a few things that didn't look right: the new Lucasfilm logo, the
affixation of "Episode V A New Hope," and the fake-looking animals. I was suspicious but let them go, thinking
my memory was playing tricks on me. The moment I saw R2-D2 hidden behind the rocks, I was wondering: how did it fit
through them and who put the droid there? By the time Luke and Ben arrived at the cantina in Mos Eisley, that's when I
finally decided this wasn't the original movie I saw.
The first signal is the lame part between Han and Greedo which made it hard to make head or tails out of it. What did
happen? How could Greedo miss Han so blatantly? He was only three feet away. It turns out the whole thing was altered
not once but twice, hence the most infamous scene in the franchise's history: "Han Shot First." Originally, he was the
only one who shot and did it in cold blood.
The second signal, which was finally the moment that I just knew, is the included scene with Jabba the Hutt. I
yelled, "I KNOW THIS NEVER HAPPENED." Plus, he looks too 21st century which can't be possible. That's when I found
out the truth by stopping the film right there and getting on the internet. Well, I have to say that's incredible, and
shame on George Lucas for allowing this to happen.
All in all, revisions or not, Star Wars is among the most overrated films ever.
Star Wars: Episode I -
The Phantom Menace (1999)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/17
6/17
For eighteen years, I avoided watching Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace because I was
simply...not...interested.
All I heard about it was the hate for Jar Jar Binks. I never knew who that was and had no idea what he looked like.
After I started the movie, I felt like vomiting, especially when Jar Jar Binks showed up.
Now, I don't consider myself as a racist person, but I have to say this: Jar Jar Binks acts like a foolish black person in a
minstrel show, speaking some of the worst made-up language I've heard in movie history. There's absolutely no way he
would've been accepted in any elite circle, let alone be granted a generalship.
As for the story, I'm sorry to say...it just sucks. The dialogue makes no sense whatsoever. This is an excerpt of the
opening crawl: "Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in
dispute." Taxation??? Oh, my goodness. Who the fuck cares?!?
About five percent of the current sequel is somewhat related to the original trilogy. The rest is fluff to show off George
Lucas' masturbation of CGI effects. In fact, the entire movie, which is aimed at kids aged 10 and under, looks like a huge
video game with the intention of selling toys. Thankfully, Liam Neeson got me through the ordeal. He's a good actor,
but I'm shocked that he went from Oskar Schindler to this turd in six years' time. Something has to be said about pride.
The same goes for Samuel L. Jackson and Terence Stamp.
I guess many die-hard Star Wars fans felt immense jealousy when they found out an
8-year-old boy named Jake Lloyd was chosen to play Anakin Skywalker. Well, they can take solace in the fact that he
retired at the age of 12 and is currently dealing with paranoid schizophrenia, being in and out of jails and psychiatric
hospitals while turning himself into an ugly-looking dude. By the way, what the heck happened to his hair toward the
end of the film?
As for Jake Lloyd's acting, I have to say he wasn't good and got worse over time; clearly, he was chosen for his looks.
I can't seem to shake off the moment when he went "Yippee!" in one scene. I mean, this is Darth Vader we're talking
about. Not to worry, Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman are awful, too, having no business to appear in a
Star Wars film.
I don't get the point of Darth Maul. He has that cool face-painting going on and shows up randomly in several scenes. Then, he
has a lasersaber battle with two Jedi Knights but loses and is forever dispatched. There's not a single shred of
character development within him, and he barely speaks which is no more than three lines in total.
Additionally, I don't get the concept of prequels. It's been a 22-year absence between
Star Wars and the first episode. It's like technology had advanced so much in the
beginning that everything went backwards by the time the main characters appeared in Episode IV. What gives? Plus, there's
no suspense whatsoever because I know what happened to everybody. By the way, Darth Vader never acknowledged R2-D2 or
C-3PO at any point.
All in all, it wasn't Jake Lloyd but George Lucas who ruined Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace while the
trailer fooled everybody back then.
Stargate (1994)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
11/15
11/15:
If there's anything in Stargate I'm most impressed with, it's Kurt Russell's evenly trimmed flattop haircut.
Although the film starts out well with a concept that centers around ancient Egyptian artifacts, it's quickly dropped by
descending into a mindless orgy of old-fashioned American violence. Plus, it doesn't help matters any when there are
editing problems which show one action shot to another with a minute of footage missing in between.
At the same time, I question James Spader's presence because he's too talented for such rubbish (he later admitted to
doing it for the money). I'm not sure why Kurt Russell bothered, too; he doesn't do anything interesting except to look
good whenever the attention is on him. Agreeing to appear in this after his demand of one million dollars was met, Jaye
Davidson, the one-hit wonder from The Crying Game, never did a film afterwards.
It goes without saying that Roland Emmerich is one of the worst directors when it comes to blending in special effects
with the story. Hence, he's no James Cameron. As a result, Stargate looks pretty cheap which manages to rip off
familar elements from other films like Star Wars,
Lawrence of Arabia, and
Raiders of the Lost Ark.
More obnoxious is the constant insults to my intelligence. How did the second sun originate? How can it exist outside
the universe when we know the first sun is the center of the universe? How does this work with two different suns? Does
the newly discovered planet revolve around the first or the second sun? Oh my brain, it's melting down...
All in all, Stargate is sci-fi junk.
Starman (1984)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
8/12
8/12:
Starman is at once charming and freaky.
Good performances are rendered by Jeff Bridges, Karen Allen, and Charles Martin Smith. I realize it's not simple to act like
a robot consistently throughout the film, but Jeff Bridges has done it, earning himself an Oscar nomination.
A hybrid between Close Encounters of the Third Kind and E.T. with tons of traveling, the film grows
tiresome because everything must happen in the United States, no matter what. Hello, there are other countries
where Starman can land in and perhaps receive a more diplomatic welcome.
All in all, Starman is a good, powerful film, but I don't think it'll hold up the next time I see it.
State of Grace (1990)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/15
8/15:
Oh, boy...how about the shootout at the end of State of Grace?
I haven't seen an ending that's so ridiculous in a long time. What a superman Terry Noonan is. I watched the film with a
friend of mine and told him to expect Sean Penn to break down and cry. Yup, my prediction came true with twenty minutes
left.
Speaking of time, whoever thought it was a good idea to let State of Grace run for 134 minutes should be fired on
the spot. That's too long; it's been mostly about dumbfucks chain-smoking and drinking heaps of beer.
I mean, can we cut to the chase and get on with the plot, however worn out it is?
As bad as Sean Penn is, Gary Oldman manages to top him in the worst actor category. He must have watched
Mean Streets
one too many times, mimicking Johnny's classic fuckup behavior. What's Ed Harris doing in this? He can do better. Robin
Wright is useless and adds nothing but more time to the running length. Why not her character move to another state
to get away from this wannabe gangster stuff?
All in all, State of Grace should be re-titled as State of Ennui.
Stay Tuned (1992)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/14, 12/21
11/14:
Stay Tuned is a highly memorable film from the early 90's.
The spoofs are brilliant and creative. Instead of Wayne's World on
Saturday Night Live, it's Duane's Underworld on Saturday Night Dead. Instead of
Driving Miss Daisy, it's Driving Over Miss Daisy. Instead of
Three Men and a Baby, it's Three Men and Rosemary's Baby. Instead of thirtysomething, it's
thirtysomething-to-life.
Seeing the channel on Hellvision called HTV, I assume it stands for Hellusic Television. Of all spoofs,
Duane's Underworld is my favorite, and I can see it as a viable movie. The sight of John Ritter being tied up
and wearing a shirt that says "Sphincter Boy" is hilarious along with the extreme close-up cam shots. Amusing also is his
reaction when he's transported to Three's a Company set, knowing it's the sitcom he's famously associated with.
All in all, I appreciate the ingeniousness of Stay Tuned which is one of the most entertaining satirical movies
made.
Staying Alive (1983)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/07, 3/22
11/07:
I checked the DVD case to see who the director was for Staying Alive.
To my surprise, it's Sylvester Stallone. After blinking twice, I reread the words, and they still said: "Sylvester
Stallone." Yes, that Sylvester Stallone of Rocky and
Rambo fame. Holy shit, he directed a dance movie.
Staying Alive fails on so many levels that it's literally a train wreck. Forget about the magic that Tony Manero
created in Saturday Night Fever. It's gone. Obviously, John Travolta took
steroids to prepare for his role; he looks different and weird. When he dances, there's no charm coming out of him.
Who cares about the absence of Tony's father or his siblings? Who cares if his old dance partner or loser friends are
gone? They all mean nothing because it's the new Tony Manero who's played by an almost-unrecognizable bodybuilder named
John Travolta.
There's no story to speak of. Subplots are set up and then quickly forgotten. The same is said for the characters. It's
only a matter of who can be the most underdeveloped. None of the scenes is connected to each other. Cheesy moments pop
up while the acting is corny. The dance sequences are awful. Satan's Alley? Ha! That's exactly where I was the
entire time while watching the movie.
All in all, Staying Alive is among the worst sequels ever; in fact, it isn't even a sequel.
3/22:
I tried...I really tried, but Staying Alive is so bad that it's like watching a train wreck.
What was everybody thinking? Why Saturday Night Fever worked is everything.
It was also contingent on John Travolta having an endearing personality with incredible dance sequences.
Staying Alive has been a total opposite. John Travolta is constantly aggressive, his body is gross, the dancing
is soulless, and the plot is pointless. Even Bob Fosse would've hated it.
Why does Tony Manero have to work hard to get women? Instead, they should be crawling all over him. When he ditched his
personality, that was the end of him and the beginning of some guy named Annette with a bipolar disorder. One minute, he's
angry and attacking; the next thing I know, he's happy and blessed over something trivial. In short, John Travolta is like
Tom Cruise trapped in Sylvester Stallone's body. At the same time, he has a sadomasochistic relationship with rejection
and therefore keeps pursuing for more. Why does he have a strong interest in Laura (Finola Hughes)?
The last thirty minutes is the worst which concerns a production called Satan's Alley. I'm surprised there are old
people in the attendance who were clapping to what amounted to a sexual orgy of some sort. At least, the film's lone
bright spot is Cynthia Rhodes as Jackie, but the poor girl doesn't realize she's being used by Tony. A cool moment
occurs when John Travolta bumped into Sylvester Stallone while walking on the street which resulted in the latter giving
him a death stare behind his shades.
All in all, apart from Battlefield Earth, Staying Alive is the
weirdest movie John Travolta ever did.
Stealing Harvard (2002)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/18
7/18:
I wish to assign Bruce McCulloch, the director of Stealing Harvard, a 5,000-word essay on the definition of comedy.
When I saw the movie, I was like, "Huh? Where's the funny stuff?" Poor Tom Green who has to stretch so much to squeeze a
bit out of comedy, however little there is. I'll say he was impressive enough to put up a brave front despite looking
stupid. If Tom Green had better material to work with like Road Trip, it would've
succeeded.
What the heck? Why is Dennis Farina in this stupid mindless movie? Sporting an awful tan and an eyeliner, he has fallen so far
after appearing in some hard-core stuff during the 80's. He was once the Hillside Strangler and worked in the Chicago
Police Department for eighteen years.
Ditto for John C. McGinley, an Oliver Stone regular. Why the hell is he an imitation of Lex Luthor? I hate Jason Lee,
and he's not a funny guy. It isn't the script that failed him but how he can never generate any energy. His co-star
Leslie Mann is a icky guy. By the way, Tom Green's character was right when he had an argument with Elaine about the
origin of the cheese Gruyère. It was named after the town of Gruyères in the district of Gruyère which is located in
the canton of Fribourg in Switzerland, not France.
All in all, if Stealing Harvard ran any longer, it would've received an easy '1' from me.
The Steel Helmet (1951)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
The best film Samuel Fuller ever made?
Why...it has to be The Steel Helmet. Yes, Merrill's Marauders and
The Big Red One are pretty good, but this one is something else that's
far ahead of its time in 1951, featuring so many things that I don't normally see in war pictures along with a
diverse cast.
According to IMDb: "When director Samuel Fuller interviewed [Gene] Evans for a part in The Steel Helmet,
the director had an M-1 carbine lying across his desk. Fuller threw the rifle at him and told him to 'rack it
back' which he did. That was his audition, and Evans got the part."
There's no question that Gene Evans stole the movie, and as a result, he should've gotten an Oscar nomination.
Shot in ten days under a budget of $104,000, The Steel Helmet is universally regarded as the first film
about the Korean War. They did the whole thing in Griffith Park of Los Angeles, California, with college students
for extras.
It's too bad about the kid at the end; how often does that happen in films, especially this early? So is the
killing of a P.O.W. which infuriated the U.S. Army with Samuel Fuller contending that he often saw it happen
for real. By the way, yeah...it's true: the name "Short Round" was actually inspired by this film for Ke Huy
Quan's character in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
All in all, low budget or not, The Steel Helmet is quite close to
All Quiet on the Western Front in spirit.
Steel Magnolias (1989)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
9/12
9/12:
If you need proof to back your statement that "Chick Flicks Suck," look no further than Stool Boognolias.
Clearly, it's among the worst ever. Instead of one, there are six prima donnas: Julia Roberts, Olympia Dukakis, Sally
Field, Dolly Parton, Daryl Hannah, and Shirley MacLaine. Each has a string behind her back, and a single pull will have
her screaming, "Look at me! Look at me! I am the Queen of the South!" This awful disease-movie-of-the-week is a rip-off of
Terms of Endearment with the same story and the same predictable ending.
Daryl Hannah looks ridiculous. Dolly Parton is famous for one and only one thing, and it's not even her singing voice.
Sally Field has done better in other pictures. Olympia Dukakis is like, "Look at me! I am Ol-l-l-y-y-y-m-m-p-i-i-i-a
Duk-ak-i-i-i-i-s!" Shirley MacLaine is the biggest whore in California by having slept her way to the top.
The worst of the worst (well, Shirley MacLaine is really the worst) is Julia Roberts who "can make puffy faces and cry on cue!"
that's replete with "this is ABOUT ME! DAMN IT!" atttitude. Gosh, I just want to punch her in the face. Horrible,
horrible, horrible. The misguided feminist message the movie tried to convey is called "brainwashing."
All in all, I hate Stool Boognolias with intense passion.
Stella Dallas (1937)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
I'm disappointed with Stella Dallas.
It's the most conflict-free film I can recall seeing in years. So...what exactly is the issue driving
the mother and daughter apart? The former has no fashion sense one day, and that's it? It's ridiculous. If she was
an alcoholic or a drug addict, okay...I could see why. Then, the mother decides to give her daughter away, so
she can live the fabulous life? That doesn't make the latter likeable the least bit.
At any rate, the performances are fine, being the reason why the film has energetic pace. As good as Barbara
Stanwyck can be despite the Harpo Marx wig, she isn't believable as the mother of an
18-year-old girl. She would have to be twelve when the daughter was conceived, and we know
it didn't happen that way.
As the father, John Boles tries his best, but he's lifeless, rendering the film one-dimensional.
And there's Alan Hale as Ed Munn. He's quite not enough. There should be more people involved in Stella
Dallas' life in order for the conflict to come across on screen. Incidentally, whatever happened to her
parents and brother after she was married? They disappeared without further ado. Anyway, yeah...that's him
as the daughter's boyfriend-turned-husband: Tim Holt of
The Magnificent Ambersons.
All in all, don't be fooled by the praise doled out for Stella Dallas; it's an average film that
tries to make a statement about class division.
The Stepfather (1987)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/12
8/12:
Among the scariest movies I remember from the 80's,The Stepfather is every divorced child's worst nightmare.
The concept is so simple that it worked wonders back then which made Terry O'Quinn famous. It's interesting that a man would
kill to have the most perfect family possible. Perhaps he should look at himself as the very reason why it fell apart.
Many have praised Terry O'Quinn's performance, but several of his scenes when throwing a temper tantrum are
cringeworthy. Nonetheless, he's effective and shines plenty of times. Jill Schoelen is enjoyable to watch as his
stepdaughter, and she does well by maintaining the tension right to the end.
Speaking of the scenes, how about the transitions? One minute, Jerry politely asks Stephanie to improve her behavior in
school. Then, all of a sudden, she's wrestling with another girl in art class. Another is when Jerry asked for more ice
cream from Stephanie. Out of the blue, he went berserk in the basement. Oh, oh...how about the avenging
brother who spent all the time looking for Jerry? After finding him, he's immediately dead. Amazing.
All in all, The Stepfather is the singular representative of the eponymous genre.
Stepfather II (1989)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/12
8/12:
How weird it is the title Stepfather II doesn't begin with the article "The."
Anyway, Terry O'Quinn improbably reprises his famous role after his character was stabbed in the heart with a large
butcher knife. I'll be interested knowing if anyone else had survived it in real life. Based on what I've seen out of
Jerry Blake/Henry Morrison/Gene Clifford (whatever the fuck his name is), there's no way he would be deemed insane to
land in the psychiatric hospital. He's a criminal, pure and simple.
I question Gene's thought process. Why bother killing Matty? It's just a random freak coincidence. Maybe the high school
thought it traced the guy but only happened to have the name. It's pretty harmless stuff. What Gene should've
done instead is report to the post office that Matty went through his mail which is a federal offense.
The rest of the way isn't bad and can sometimes be superior to the original. Acting-wise, Terry O'Quinn is better than
before. Poor Jonathan Brandis, he may have showed some early warning signs, hm? It's 90210 all over again for
Matthew Laurence as he plays the serial cheating dentist.
All in all, Stepfather II proves that sequels don't always suck.
Stigmata (1999)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/18
9/18:
Here's an oxymoron: Catholic scientist.
Replace the first word with any religion denomination, and the difference will still be the same. Over 90% of
self-respecting scientists don't believe in religion. Even Albert Einstein never cared for it. The job of a Catholic
scientist is to travel all over the world to prove or disprove miracles or fantastic phenomenons that have occurred
in the name of religion. I admit this job title made me laugh hard because all religions are nothing but man-made,
power-grabbing, and money-making enterprises.
Enter Stigmata. Many viewers accused it of being a rip-off of The Exorcist.
However, I've found both having little in common save for a couple of trademark moments that are owned by
The Exorcist.
Instead, what I saw is a boring movie that drags a lot on the story side. Patricia Arquette projects an unappealing
look which says "see, I'm just a stupid idiot." Gabriel Byrne's eyes will be like "yes, my dear, I know all about it,
but I desperately need you to prove to me that God isn't a fraud."
Some scientist Gabriel Byrne's character is since he said Earth was six billion years old when in fact it's approximately
1.5 billion years less. The filmmakers claim to have spent over a year researching the subject to put together the story,
but they fail to recognize that Catholic cardinals, as the one played by Jonathan Pryce, are forbidden to wear beards.
By the way, there's no such thing as a stigmata; if it did occur, it's usually an act of self-mutilation in desperate
search for attention like how Bernadette of Lourdes did. In fact, nobody can prove Jesus Christ ever existed. Not a
single historian during the first century wrote anything about him. There are no Roman records, which were extensively
kept, of his existence, either. At best, he was an amalgam of many people who lived at the time and, at worst, a
figment of somebody's imagination.
Instead of wasting time on such fantastic rubbish bullshit about stigmata and exorcism, why not make a prescient film
about child sex abuse at the hand of the Catholic Church? There have been enough films about religious miracles. But
science wasn't properly developed back then to verify anything which explains why, when it finally was, the number of
them had been dramatically reduced to almost none.
All in all, unlike The Exorcist, Stigmata can never be interesting
enough to draw my attention.
Stiletto Dance (2001)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
1/21
1/21:
Stiletto Dance is a trashy Russian mob mess of a movie that's actually not terrible.
Eric Roberts headlines the cast and is the primary reason to see it. During the first thirty minutes, I was
thinking, "What is he doing in this?" Then, his performance got better, and things started to make sense in terms
of why he decided to do it in the first place.
Romano Orzari may look miscast, but his character offers a newbie perspective that counteracts his experienced
teammate's line of thinking which gives the film a good dimension.
In the mold of Hans Gruber and Charles Rane, Shawn Doyle plays one of the most formidable adversaries I've seen in a while
with a strong acting performance to boot. It's comical that he changes his suit every time there's blood on it.
Often naked, Lucie Laurier provides a romantic subplot which is ultimately thrown away after her character's husband
is killed. I was asking for more than that. Hence, it's been the story of the film: parts that have gone unfulfilled.
Speaking of Laurier, the tagline of the movie poster reads: "When you're undercover with the Russian
mob, the last woman you should be caught with...is the wife of a brutal mob killer." But that's not what
Stiletto Dance is about...far from it.
The funniest thing is I don't think there's a single Russian actor among the cast; it's been mostly Canadians with
some Americans. While the script is okay, there are two bizarre monologues: one at the beginning and the other by Binky.
Attempting to sound hip and cool, they make no sense whatsoever.
All in all, Stiletto Dance needs more work.
Still of the Night (1982)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
4/25
4/25:
For a murder mystery thriller, Still of the Night is a one big nothing.
Robert Benton...Meryl Streep...Robert Benton...Meryl Streep? Oh,
yeah...Kramer vs. Kramer. This time, they want to be like Alfred
Hitchcock and Grace Kelly and revive the blond fetish with Roy Scheider stepping in for James Stewart of
Vertigo. Spellbound is what
they're aiming for the most but in a different way.
There's a careful orchestration to build up the suspense with a significant dream thrown in. I was with
everybody until Meryl Streep went dramatic to have an "Oscar-winning" clip of her own. That's when I began
to laugh, especially when she used her hands to demonstrate the physical fight. All of a sudden, Roy
Scheider went, "I got it! This person killed my patient!" only because time had run out. I have a better
idea: let the cops handle that.
Talk about air coming out of the balloon when the murderer showed up at the end to turn
Still of the Night into a run-of-the-mill slasher picture. How predictable the next moment will be
when Meryl Streep lured her to the fence of the balcony, and there's the sight of water crashing against
the rocks 100 yards below as if they're on the cliffs in England when it's supposed to be Long Island, New York.
Anyway, the performances are fine. Robert Benton just needs to make several fixes here and there and then redo
the last fifteen minutes starting with Meryl Streep's monologue. One of them is the idea of a woman walking
alone in Central Park at night where she could be robbed and raped. Another is the psychiatrist deciding to spend
$15,000 so he could pass a simple note to Brooke. How about getting up and walking over to where she is?
The third is the murderer killing the detective. What's there to gain from it?
All in all, like Tab soda, Still of the Night disappeared quickly because Alfred Hitchcock did it
so better.
The Sting (1973)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
The Sting is a dull, overrated Best Picture winner.
Just because the movie pairs Paul Newman and Robert Redford again, it automatically has to win every award there is.
Honestly, 1973 was a weak year.
All in all, The Sting over The Exorcist...you have to be joking me.
Stir Crazy (1980)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/15
12/15:
Stir Crazy.
It's hard to believe Sidney Poitier directed this piece of crap. Then again, he did direct a lot of them including
Ghost Dad in 1990 which featured the serial rapist Bill Cosby. I've never thought of Gene Wilder as a funny guy.
In fact, he's embarrassing in this.
His co-star Richard Pryor can be funny at times; it just depends on how well he seizes the moment. Reportedly to have
freebased cocaine at nights during the filming schedule, Richard Pryor is okay, but it's not his finest hour. At least,
he had somebody fired for throwing a piece of watermelon at his feet.
By the time the convicts make to the Prison Rodeo contest, the momentum has been long gone, setting up a boring
escape scene. When the two nimrods were found not guilty of the crime committed, didn't they have go through the formal
procedure first to make it official? Heck, where's the trial?
All in all, Sidney Poitier will be remembered only for his acting accomplishments.
Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
12/08
12/08:
Stop! Or I Will Shoot Your Mom is the most infamous movie of Sylvester Stallone's career.
The title should've been Shut Up! Or I Will Shoot Your Mom.
Whoever thought of the idea deserves to be shot. It's hard to believe he was perfectly okay in going ahead with it.
I liked Estelle Getty in The Golden Girls, but no disrespect to her, she's truly awful.
Apart from Mr. Magoo by Leslie Nielsen, she plays the most annoying, obnoxious character of all time.
All in all, Shut Up! Or I Will Shoot Your Mom is painful to watch.
Stormy Monday (1988)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
2/22
2/22:
A flawed film, Stormy Monday is a good start for Mike Figgis.
I didn't know the director was until the closing credits because the feel felt like Mike Figgis the entire time. He
has a certain hypnotic way of drawing me while building up the characters. It's been the same technique in
Liebestraum, Leaving Las Vegas,
and One Night Stand.
Unfortunately, I never understood the plot. What's the point of buying an English jazz
club in the middle of nowhere? How does it advance the American businessman's claim to power or help him be profitable? The
popularity of jazz went out of the window long before that. What's exactly the function of Melanie Griffith's
character? Silly is the ending when the car was bombed but nobody inside the club came out to see what happened.
However, I like the neo-noir look. The pairing of Sean Bean and Melanie Griffith is A-plus, and they're at their
physical peak. However, Tommy Lee Jones is wasted, and Sting isn't much of an actor despite hailing from Newcastle where
the movie takes place.
All in all, Stormy Monday is Mike Figgis' filmmaking blueprint, and he'll perfect his storytelling ability.
The Story of Louis Pasteur (1936)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
3/24
3/24:
If you see the word "pasteurized" on milk cartons, then you know where that came from: Louis Pasteur.
Unrecognizable, Paul Muni won the Best Actor Oscar by transforming himself to play the character for
The Story of Louis Pasteur. It's inspiring stuff just like
The Life of Emile Zola. Although highly fictional,
the writing is good and clear, but the pace slows down during the second half.
The subject matter is fascinating, and of course, it's an accepted fact by now there's such thing as a "microbe." It only
takes a microscope to discover its existence, and soap and alcohol are among those that can kill it. Otherwise, the
consequence is fatal due to the failure of disinfection. By the way, Joseph Lister is famous as in "Listerine," but he didn't
invent the mouthwash.
All in all, Paul Muni proved again and again he could play anyone at any age and of any nationality in any period
of time, and he should've won more Oscars during the 30's.
Storyville (1992)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/21
9/21:
Storyville used to be a red light district in New Orleans for two decades during the early 20th century and was later the
home of jazz musicians, but now, everything associated with it is virtually gone.
Sadly, the movie has nothing to do with either. In a way, it's a Chinatown clone but
isn't a rip-off. Rather, the story is mundane that's a combination of politics, prostitution, and murder with a bit of
New Orleans taste.
I only picked up Storyville because of James Spader. He's all right with some uncharacteristically bad acting at
the beginning and gets to do some pointless sex scenes as usual. The second half is when he gives a strong performance
yet looks pristine for somebody who's been beaten up. Unfortunately, it's too late because the story never grabs my
attention at any point.
By the time the mystery is cleared up, it doesn't matter. I am surprised, for somebody running for the senate
seat, he decides to take a murder case during the middle of his campaign. So...the trial happened a week thereafter or
what? At one point, he illegally produces a murder weapon. Oddly, nobody in the media ever follows him.
A detective starts shooting in the middle of the courtroom and the two cops behind him don't do enough, but the judge
finally pulls out a gun to stop it. Huh? A Briton with some Chilean and Iraqi blood, Charlotte Lewis is passed off for a
Vietnamese. Um, right...take a good look at her eyes and then the rest of her face.
All in all, for a James Spader picture that's supposed to be a neo-noir thriller set in New Orleans,
Storyville never takes off.
Straight Out of Brooklyn (1991)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/06, 10/10, 4/24
8/06:
Spike Lee is a through and through fraud.
Straight Out of Brooklyn proves any black man can direct a better film than him, regardless of film experience.
The 19-year-old Matty Rich wrote the short story two years prior and filmed it as an 8-minute short for his high school before
blowing it up to a full feature film under a budget of $450,000.
The result is astonishing. Filled with nonprofessional actors that's set in Brooklyn's Red Hook projects, it's almost on the
same level as Boyz n the Hood while the gritty style reminds me of Italian neorealism.
All in all, Straight Out of Brooklyn offers an insight into what it's like to live in the projects.
10/10:
Straight Out of Brooklyn is a somewhat slow picture that's lacking in substance.
Yet the level of realism remains high. The performances are excellent. However, the buildup toward the end is disappointing,
falling short of the needed power.
All in all, although not up to par with Boyz n the Hood,
Straight Out of Brooklyn is a respectable addition to black cinema.
4/24:
Straight Out of Brooklyn is still a well-made movie that beats almost anything by Spike Lee.
Director Matty Rich is effective with the message of racism, but it's not the true reason why the family is having
problems. Rather, it has everything to do with IQ. The father won't stop drinking or beating up his wife while their
two kids are rendered helpless. The boy thinks he can rob a drug dealer as a way out, but it's not that simple.
Regardless, thanks to the low budget, the film is gritty and real, and it's 100% believable.
All in all, Matty Rich proved that he could beat Spike Lee at his game.
Straight Time (1978)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
9/21
9/21:
So, what's the message behind Straight Time?
There isn't any. It's about an undisciplined fuck-up who doesn't realize he has a chance to start his life all over again
with a beautiful girlfriend. Instead, he throws it away for one big score which will never be the last because the juice
is that addictive.
On the positive side, the acting is solid. Dustin Hoffman carries the film, and the secondary cast is full of young
well-known players such as Theresa Russell, Gary Busey, M. Emmet Walsh, Harry Dean Stanton, and Kathy Bates. I figured
it out when I saw the resemblance the blond-haired kid had to Gary Busey; it's his son Jake. Co-writing the screenplay
that's adapted from his book No Beast So Fierce, the long-time criminal Edward Bunker has a small part. Michael
Mann did the first draft and worked with Bunker for three months.
Dustin Hoffman was originally the director but decided to step down after a few days because he didn't know what he was
doing. After Ulu Grosbard took over, the screenplay was rewritten, and Michael Mann ultimately received no credit.
Regardless, there are a lot of parallelisms between Straight Time and Heat with
a bit of Point Break thrown in. It explains why Jon Voight in
Heat plays an Eddie Bunker type of character while Dustin Hoffman's character closely
resembles Robert De Niro's Neil McCauley.
All in all, the precursor to Heat, Straight Time is a well-acted picture about
unsympathetic characters who don't know any better.
Strange Days (1995)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
8/04, 4/24
8/04:
Armed with a long running length, Strange Days is an insanely bad film.
The story is too confusing to make heads or tails of. If Los Angeles has become so terrible by the turn of the century,
why do the characters bother staying there? My expectations were high due to the somewhat star-studded cast. Oh, well.
It's a low point for Ralph Fiennes who did more respectable work in
Schindler's List and Quiz Show.
All in all, Strange Days is a big letdown given that Kathryn Bigelow directed
Point Break.
4/24:
Brainstorm kept coming to my mind while watching Strange Days; at least this
time, it goes in a different direction.
In my review of the former, I said, "Brainstorm is a high-concept sci-fi picture
that's about ethical issues of emotional manipulation through virtual reality. Of course, the military has to get
involved. It's all about the brainwashing. So does the porn industry but for a different reason: big bucks. In fact,
porn has been the leading leader in cutting-edge video and internet technology. If not for it, there'll be no Super
8 projector, Polaroid camera, VHS, Betamax, DVD, Blu-Ray, or quick transmission of information over the internet through
high bandwidth. By the end of the 70's, porn accounted for over 50% of videotape sales. If they're the first to come up
with whatever, the rest of the entertainment industry follows."
While Strange Days makes a big part out of porn, it also explores rape and snuff. The concepts are interesting,
but it's a long movie in spite of strong performances except for Angela Bassett. She ruins the show by playing an
aggressive manly one-dimensional character. Plus, her chemistry with Ralph Fiennes is virtually zero. Regardless, the
editing helps a great deal.
If Tom Sizemore's wig looks off the whole time, there's a reason for it which will be explained at the end. Ralph Fiennes
was actually delivering an Oscar-worthy performance by playing a seedy character to give the film a neo-noir slant,
but director Kathryn Bigelow bungled it during the second half by giving too much attention to Angela Bassett.
The overall message is also marred by making it all about blacks à la Rodney King. Then, there's the ridiculous
subplot involving two LAPD patrolmen, sinking the film even further.
All in all, the involvement of Angela Bassett is the biggest mistake of Strange Days.
The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (1946)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/24
10/24:
The Strange Love of Martha Ivers is an interesting film noir picture with classic cinematic elements
that remind me of Orson Welles' work.
At first, I thought Van Heflin wasn't right for the role, but he did get better over time and thus stole
the show. In top form with shades of Double Indemnity,
Barbara Stanwyck is stunning while the oddly wimp Kirk Douglas, in his screen debut, bears an uncanny resemblance to
the kid who played his character earlier. Lizabeth Scott is okay as usual.
"Thoroughness" isn't a word I use to describe any film, but The Strange Case of Martha Ivers is just exactly
that which is not to say it's good news. The director explored too much by including everything as possible, hence
the long running length of almost two hours. Some stuff can be taken out to strike a right balance.
Van Heflin's character made things confusing for a while because it's been a game of "does he like her or the
other one?" Eventually, he became sure of his decision which was the right call. Hence, the story
grew deep this way along with the strong ending.
All in all, The Strange Love of Martha Ivers is a well-made film noir picture, and I don't mind seeing
it again later.
Strange Voices (1987)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/15, 4/22
5/15:
Films about real life problems always make for good cinema, and Strange Voices easily accomplishes it.
Although I have no idea who Nancy McKeon is, it's obvious from the get-go she has the face of a TV star, appearing
in a sitcom entitled The Facts of Life (never heard of it, either) from 1980 to 1988. It's easy to say her
character looks so pretty that how it can be she has schizophrenia. But really, the mental disorder can affect anyone,
regardless of their appearance, socioeconomic status, or intelligence.
Strange Voices paints a sad tale of a young college student struggling with the onset symptoms of schizophrenia
while coping with the demands of her life. What I love is how her parents, no matter how hard they try, are eternally
frustrated, too. It's true which is an issue that's not often touched.
Also, the interesting part is the moments that set off Nikki's emotional outbursts. Many times, they're identifiable
and serve as reasons why she needs to be in an environment with the least possible number of triggers. People who struggle
with schizophrenia are trapped in a vicious cycle that eventually leads to life in the penal system because it's
something that society doesn't want to deal with. That's why it costs so much money for those who are directly affected
and want to treat the problem so badly.
The good news is that medication has come a long way as the most effective means of treating the disorder. That's why it,
especially the side effects, gets a lot of attention in the movie. When patients with schizophrenia don't keep up with
their medication, no matter how fine they seem to be, they start to unravel before reverting to their former
schizophrenic self.
Equally frustrating is getting help for their loved ones with schizophrenia. As shown in the mediation process, Nikki's
parents have tried to get her committed for evaluation and care but are restrained because of her daughter's legal rights.
It happens a lot in real life. A consquence of this is something similar to Nikki wandering through the streets and
eating trash. People with schizophrenia who have money and connections tend to thrive well because they're surrounded by
caring people. But the outcomes aren't good for those who have neither. Again, medication is the biggest key along with
psychiatric help.
All in all, I'm pleased with Strange Voices for hitting many points about schizophrenia, and I
don't think the issues have changed that much to this day.
4/22:
Strange Voices is an impressive movie about schizophrenia and hits a major point: fighting between parents.
The father simply shut down while his wife is doing all as she can. The stress level is a '10'. I can't help but wonder
if they kept it down, Nikki might not have too many trigger points before falling apart. Her sister is clearly affected by
all of this.
I know a lot of people will say Promise with James Garner and James Woods is superior
to Strange Voices, but both are completely different movies that deal with the same mental disorder. Just call
them complements, if you will. No cure currently exists for schizophrenia, but the symptoms can be managed through
antipsychotic drugs.
All in all, Strange Voices is a well-made telefilm with strong acting from Valerie Harper and Stephen Macht.
Strangeland (1998)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
1/24
1/24:
Dee Snider the actor?
He hadn't been relevant since his band Twisted Sister broke up during the mid 80's. So, to resurface in public, Dee
decided to produce Strangeland that claimed to follow the tradition of Seven and
The Silence of the Lambs when
Hellraiser was more like it.
Well, I don't know whether I want to laugh or slap my forehead. Strangeland is your standard torture-porn horror
film. At one point in his past, Dee may have seen A Man Called Horse and was
inspired by the scene of Richard Harris held high in the air with metal hooks. This time, he takes the concept really,
really far but fails to make me care for the victims.
The only part that consistently bothered me during the second half is the early release of Carlton "Captain Howdy"
Hendricks. So, he was found not guilty of serial killer behavior and spent roughly four years in confinement? Uh,
right...they usually serve at least two decades if that ever happens. But there are plenty of evidence against Hendricks
because he was caught red-handed at his home where the crimes were committed.
The cast is interesting because Dee managed to get Waingro, Freddy Krueger, Woody Harrelson's brother, and a
Steven Seagal baddie with tattoos on his neck. Although the script is banal, it's tough to listen to the rubbish Hendricks spouts
to explain his motives. It turns out they're either the original or paraphrased lines that were uttered by the founder
of "modern primitive" movement. Oddly, he talks about wanting to die, so why doesn't he get it over with already?
All in all, Dee Snider got two things right in Strangeland: the dangers of the internet and what washed-up Nicolas
Cage would look like in the future.
The Stranger (1946)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/12
11/12:
All the thanks go to Loretta Young for obliterating The Stanger into smithereens.
If there's a candidate for the worst performance by an actress in 1946, look no further than her. The hammy
emotions...the theatrical heaving...and the fake soap opera eyes as evidenced in the movie poster. My
goodness, why can't she try to make herself believable for one second?
On the other hand, Orson Welles has lost it, but he does have a knack for cinematography. The first fifteen and
the final five minutes are the stuff of Citizen Kane brilliance. His performance
is good, too.
Edward G. Robinson, eh. He has done better in other films. The material keeps letting him down big time along with a
lack of intelligence. There's no way the detective would confide his secret to the boy. If Franz Kindler is spotted, they
should apprehend him and be done with it. Finding a dozen of Germans to confirm his identity will be a snap. On the
other hand, I watched the board game, and that
wasn't checkers in any way, shape, or form. Come on, how hard is it to have a real game?
All in all, Plan 9 from Outer Space is actually better than
The Stranger.
The Stranger (1987)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
10/12
10/12:
Because I had the hardest time looking for information on the internet, why did the filmmakers have to name the movie
The Stranger?
It's like trying to find the right Michael Smith in a telephone directory. Couldn't they have come up with something more
catchy like This Stupid Fake Amnesia I Have or What the Hell Is This Movie Supposed to Be About?
The whole premise is dumb and insulting to my intelligence. Announcing the woman's identity nationwide without providing
her any kind of police protection, the detective is certainly a moron.
What was Bonnie Bedelia thinking when she bared herself for such a worthless flick? Not only that, but she also has to
pretend to suffer from amnesia by staring at a blank wall. This cheap acting gimmick wears off quickly.
Nobody escapes from the house like that as shown after watching her family be massacred through the ventilation shaft. Just
stay there and hope for the best. As for the black charlatan passing for a doctor outside the hospital, why do that while
on the way to perform an assassination?
All in all, The Stranger is a dumb Hitchcockian thriller wannabe.
Stranger on the Third Floor (1940)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/15
6/15:
More of a dated hokum than a dark film noir, Stranger on the Third Floor made me laugh because of
the stilted dialogue, theatrical acting, and rubbish storyline.
However, the picture is regarded as one of the earliest films noirs although some say it's the originator when
I say The Maltese Falcon was the one that started it all. The first half
is lame to watch. It's not until the beautifully constructed dream sequence, which might have been found in an Orson
Welles picture while borrowing the concept of dark diagonal lines from
Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari, that gets me in the mood.
Afterwards, I'm back to the same lameness to finish off the story with predictable results because Peter Lorre has been
eternally typecast as the murderer which goes as far back as M. It's just that the
coincidences are unbelievable. Plus, some of the information presented isn't consistent with reality.
John McGuire, who plays the reporter, is okay and has the noir look, but he needs to get rid of his theatrics. I
also hate his voice-over narration to tell me what his character is thinking. It takes too much away from the
suspense.
Margaret Tallichet gives the worst performance of the show and hams it up every chance she gets. I've laughed and rolled
my eyes every time she opened her mouth. Her career only lasted for one more year which consisted of two feature films.
Thereafter, she lived out her life as Mrs. William Wyler with four children until his death in 1981.
Peter Lorre gives Margaret Tallichet some competition in the acting department and is dreadful at times as the creepy
killer with bulging eyes, thick lips, and white scarf. Yet he has a nice peek-a-boo scene with John McGuire while they're
on the third floor. Sadly, the rest of the way is silly.
By the way, I never realized how bad Peter Lorre's teeth were. It's due to his morphine addiction which led to pyorrhea
and halitosis. He eventually had them replaced with dentures. The moment that Peter Lorre attacked Margaret Tallichet's
character who was suddenly repulsed, it was because he ate raw onions to achieve the effect. On the other hand, Elisha
Cook, Jr., has a small but pathetic role.
All in all, Stranger on the Third Floor is hopelessly dated.
Stranger Than Paradise (1984)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
8/13
8/13:
It takes me a bit while to get used to the style of Stranger Than Paradise, and for an arthouse picture, the
result is mixed.
Nothing interesting happens. Perhaps it's a test of patience from the director to see if I can sustain interest long
enough to survive from one scene to the next given the awkward transition. Despite the interesting black-and-white movie
poster, there isn't much of a plot.
The acting is okay. Willie ends up being as the most hated character because he's too much of an ape to know better.
Of course, it's easy to feel sorry for the girl. Then again, who cares? Read a book...grow a brain...whatever. But
don't just do nothing about the situation.
All in all, "Cleveland" and "beautiful" don't belong in the same sentence, mm'kay?
Strangers on a Train (1951)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/06
5/06:
Strangers on a Train may look like a classic picture, but it's full of clichés.
Everybody tries too hard, hence the unbelievable acting. So, the cigarette lighter will implicate somebody of murder?
I don't think so. When I want a true thriller from Alfred Hitchcock, I end up being disappointed. It doesn't have enough
intensity to rival The 39 Steps.
All in all, Throw Momma from the Train now looks better in comparison.
Strapped (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/12, 10/19
3/12:
A young black man who attempts to escape the dangerous projects but is doomed by choices gone awry is the name of the game
in Strapped.
I'm sucker for such black urban pictures, and Bokeem Woodbine, in his screen debut, is amazing. In all honesty, his
character's girlfriend isn't worth it. Just find another woman, preferably a smart one, and move on.
All in all, Strapped may be another in the long line of black pictures about living in the projects, but it's
really good.
10/19:
My favorite Bokeem Woodbine movie is Strapped, a gritty black urban picture that's directed by Forest Whitaker.
I saw the film on HBO in 1993 and had never forgotten it since then. What I love is the gritty
realism: dumb people doing dumb things. The ending is a big surprise, and that's why Bokeem is so good. I can't say
his character made a wise decision and think he'll regret what he did at some point, but he's a man nevertheless
There are great scenes, often involving Bokeem Woodbine who makes his screen debut, which are shot on location in Brooklyn
with great music. The beginning shows the reality of black-on-black violence in the projects, and it doesn't
matter how young the perpetrators are. When black people see what's going on, they take it for granted and choose to
either ignore the crime or help cover it up.
All in all, think of New Jersey Drive,
Straight Out of Brooklyn,
Menace II Society, and Clockers,
and Strapped is right up there with these hood greats.
The Stratton Story (1949)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/09
3/09:
The best part of The Stratton Story is the animals rejoicing in the fact that a hunter shot himself in the leg.
I've never heard of this ballplayer named Monty Stratton, and who cares about him?!? The baseball game he made his
comeback in is mostly fictional. I looked up the internet for any information on him, and he didn't seem to be an
interesting guy.
The only reason to see the film is James Stewart who does a marvelous job. June Allyson is okay. Either way,
The Stratton Story is a boring film, often dragging a lot. It should be a five-minute short with Monty
yelling out at the end, "Ohhhhhh, fuuuuuuuuck!" after being shot. What a funny scene it would've made.
All in all, nobody cares about Monty Stratton.
Straw Dogs (1971)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
4/06, 1/13
4/06:
Straw Dogs is an unconventional violent work of art by Sam Peckinpah.
Awesome performances are rendered, most especially by Dustin Hoffman and Susan George. The tension is held high throughout,
allowing the film to be a roller-coaster of highs and lows. Then, the violence suddenly explodes like the cork out of
a wine bottle.
All in all, Straw Dogs is a Peckinpah classic.
1/13:
Straw Dogs is one of the three must-see pictures in Sam Peckinpah's oeuvre with the other two being
The Wild Bunch and Junior Bonner.
All in all, Straw Dogs is an explosively violent picture that's replete with Sam Peckinpah's signature editing.
Street Knight (1993)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/15
5/15:
While trying to rate Street Knight, I was vacillating between '5' and '6' before settling on the former.
I had already seen The Perfect Weapon which is an atrocious movie, so
I'm happy how this turned out to be. In regard to Jeff Speakman, I don't think he's that bad, and I like how his
character is calm and straightforward when having dialogue with others. He's likable this way. His Kenpo skills are okay,
but I feel the cinematographer didn't do a good job of capturing them in the best way possible.
On the VHS cover, Rod Lurie of Los Angeles Magazine said Jeff Speakman was "the action star of the 90's."
I don't think so. In fact, most people don't know who he is. I didn't until I saw
The Perfect Weapon in 2008. If you
ask me, it's either Steven Seagal or Jean-Claude Van Damme although I'll give the former the edge. One positive thing
about Jeff Speakman is that he's a better actor than Chuck Norris.
If there's anything I hate, it's Rebecca Sanchez who's played by Jennifer Gatti. Her attitude is so poor that Jake Barrett should
forget about helping her. I'm not sympathetic with her problems. Their lovemaking scene is unnecessary and not characteristic of
him. By the way, Jennifer Gatti's acting is terrible, and she has no future in Hollywood.
I also hate the ending which says the film was dedicated to gang truce. How about a total elimination of gangs? Speaking
of them, they seem too much to handle given their size and complexities. Realizing the problem, director Albert Magnoli
tries to forget them by shifting the focus to former cops whose motives are unexplainable. The story
doesn't make sense, either. Christopher Neame, who plays the nemesis, makes for a good villain although he can be much
more.
By the way, Street Knight was among the final two films for The Cannon Group before it went bankrupt. For many
years, the company released great low-budget films, especially from Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus. They were
interesting and different from what the mainstream cinema had to offer.
All in all, I wish Street Knight was more exciting.
Street Smart (1987)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
8/08
8/08:
Street Smart is a good example of a film that's buoyed by excellent performances but is far from being a finished product.
Without doubt, Morgan Freeman is convincing, aggressive, and believable. Therefore, he secured his first Oscar nomination.
On the other hand, I'm starting to see how good of an actor Christopher Reeve was after this and Deathtrap.
The plot is good and entertaining. Somehow, I can't help but feel the incompleteness given the ending. When Fast
Black was killed, I thought, "So...they ran out of money?"
All in all, Street Smart is worth watching for the performances, most especially by Morgan Freeman.
A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
2/05, 2/06, 7/11, 6/19
2/06:
Take a delicate, pretty flower.
It's all about "oh, darling," "precious things," and the like. Now, enter an animal with his greasy paws to tear it
all up and smashes everything into pieces. That's precisely what happened between Blanche DuBois and Stanley Kowalski in
A Streetcar Named Desire, a fast, furious film that would change acting forever.
It's impossible to divert eyes away from Marlon Brando who oozes sex. To counter him is the poor
Vivien Leigh who tries her best not to be handled in such a crude way. Never again will acting be this good in a
play-on-film.
All in all, A Streetcar Named Desire features two of the best actors going against each other: Vivien Leigh and
Marlon Brando.
7/11:
Out is the Old Hollywood, in is the New Hollywood which happens in one fell swoop through two hours of
A Streetcar Named Desire.
Pitting Vivien Leigh's classical acting against Marlon Brando's realism, a change of the guard has taken place. The battle
of their styles is unlike anything ever seen in cinema history, making me forget this is supposed to be a theatrical play.
All in all, Marlon Brando was robbed of his Oscar, and Vivien Leigh deserved hers.
6/19:
The most New Orleans movie ever made, A Streetcar Named Desire is the one that catapulted Marlon Brando to
superstardom.
Receiving his first of four straight Oscar nominations for Best Actor, Brando lost out to Humphrey Bogart of
The African Queen. It's among the most serious mistakes the Academy made because Stanley Kowalski is a far more
famous character than Charlie Allnut is. In truth, Marlon Brando didn't bother campaigning for it which is stupid as the
Oscars should be based on merit alone.
A Streetcar Named Desire is a landmark picture in terms of acting. It represents a changing of the guard as
classical acting, which is perfectly exemplified by Vivien Leigh, goes out of the window while realism is ushered
through by Marlon Brando who radiates sexual animal magnetism. The contrast between both styles is striking.
To be fair, Vivien Leigh and Marlon Brando gave the performances of their lives. They'll always be Blanche DuBois and
Stanley Kowalski. Having seen the movie many times, I must say he treated her too harshly, and I don't think
she should've been committed; instead, because of her excellent way with words, Blanche would've made for a good romance
novelist or stage actress.
All in all, because of what Vivien Leigh and Marlon Brando did in A Streetcar Named Desire, they set the bar
so high that it's never been equaled or surpassed since then.
Stripes (1981)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
8/12, 7/18
8/12:
There's no way in the history of U.S. Armed Forces that the group of ragtag buffoons in Stripes would
pass inspection and be deemed fit for military graduation.
When I saw Bill Murray doing the ridiculous military parade, I questioned if the U.S. Army sponsored the film. AND THEY
ACTUALLY DID. It's hard to believe that, after ten weeks of boot camp, nobody shaped up. So, this is the cardinal
Hollywood rule: any time you see a Bill Murray comedy, always expect unorthodox results.
Bill Murray tends to deliver either of two types of performance: be genius with bone-dry humor or act like an
arrogant jackass. In Stripes, he falls in the latter category most of the time which isn't fun to watch. The army
comedy boasts of an all-star cast: Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, John Candy, Judge Reinhold, John Diehl, Sean Young, John
Larroquette, and Warren Oates.
Typical of 80's pictures, it has plenty of female nudity including mud wrestling between John Candy and eight
naked females which are pointless and aimed to generate ticket sales. After the military graduation, things fall
apart by becoming ridiculous. I don't understand why the platoon had to go to Czechoslovakia and engage in warfare
just to retrieve a RV.
All in all, Stripes is a mix of funny and stupid with some brain-dead results.
7/18:
Taking the rating down big time from '6' to '3', Stripes doesn't stand the test of time.
Last time, I thought the movie was funny but stupid overall. Watching it again, I barely laughed. An
utterly moronic and boring movie, the hardest thing to believe is the U.S. Army sponsored it. Why?
Noticing the hair on Bill Murray and Harold Ramis when they initially came out of the military barbershop, I couldn't
help but fail to understand why they weren't given regular boot camp haircuts. Hence, they were given too much latitude
to retain their individuality. That's why the movie sucks in this respect.
Another thing I don't understand is the misfit platoon being handpicked for an assignment in Italy. Then, they drove
the RV to Germany while the search party ended up caught in Czechoslovakia, setting off an
international incident by exchanging gunfire which ironically resulted in no deaths.
Bill Murray is okay but barely funny. Harold Ramis is too smug to be likeable. John Candy is wasted. John Larroquette
is corny. Warren Oates, who died of a heart attack one year after Stripes premiered, is both ineffective and weak
as the drill sergeant. Judge Reinhold barely appears. Making his screen debut, Miami Vice's John Diehl looks
too mentally retarded to be in the army.
All in all, Stripes is a disappointing Bill Murray vehicle for an early 80's comedy film.
Striptease (1996)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/22
2/22:
Here's a famous bad film: Striptease.
Not having seen it before, I was aware of its notorious reputation. The movie was going okay for a while although not
taking itself seriously had been off-putting. Then, things went south for good, and that was that. As a result,
Showgirls looks better in comparison.
Like I said, not taking itself seriously has been a major problem throughout. If it did, Striptease would've been
good this way. Oddly, Demi Moore is the only one of the cast who thought it was a drama picture. Burt Reynolds could be
funny in a satirical manner until the last third when he started to sink to the bottom of the ocean along with the
film. That being said, this is the same guy from Deliverance?
The other issue is how sexless the whole thing is. No matter how often strippers are naked, it feels so clinical. Ditto
for Demi Moore who looks old and plastic. Replete with manly legs and breast implants (or enhancement?), she puts on a
long, boring dance show before taking her top off, and it's immediately over afterwards. If Demi Moore can't be sexy,
then what's the point? Thankfully, this is the film that ruined her A-list status for good.
There are several "stars" helping out, but none of them is effective. Armand Assante repeats what he did in
Fatal Instinct. Ving Rhames is starting to look like he had no talent to begin
with. Robert Patrick is ridiculous. It's hard to believe his character once had a relationship with Erin Grant. Speaking
of Erin and her supposedly marketable skills, she can't get a decent job that pays well which doesn't involve stripping?
Unbelievable.
All in all, Striptease opened well, especially in foreign markets, by only making good on its promise: Demi Moore
in the nude.
Student Bodies (1981)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/15
2/15:
Credited as the first horror spoof film (Uh...Young Frankenstein, anyone?),
Student Bodies fails to live up to it.
In the first twenty minutes or so, things seem to go well with clever spoofs. Afterwards, it starts to operate on
fumes, running low on jokes, usually repeating them ad nauseam only to dispense with them altogether.
Then, out of the blue, there's a "fuck you" public service announcement of why they wouldn't go so far enough to achieve
an 'R' rating which is ingenious although the movie ironically received it.
Afterwards, Student Bodies transitions from a comedy to a lame horror movie while losing me for good. The
multitude of product placements such as Dr. Pepper and Coors have made it worse as well.
Meanwhile, I started to be interested in this double-jointed, stork-looking actor who played Malvert the janitor. What an
oddity of a specimen. The actor's name was Patrick Varnell who went by "The Stick." He was 6' 3" tall and weighed a little
over 100 pounds. With only one movie to his credit, he died of a heart attack at the age of 48 in 1989.
After Patrick Varnell's death which wasn't widely known, people frantically searched for any information on him only
to be disappointed to find out the answer. One movie director offered $1,000 for his whereabouts, and
another wanted to hire him to provide a comedy show during the wedding.
All in all, here's a free lesson: if you write a comedy script but find yourself running out of jokes very early, it's
not ready to be published.
The Stuff (1985)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
4/13
4/13:
I thought The Stuff was shaping to be a good horror movie from the outset that was along the lines of
Invasion of the Body Snatchers and
Ghostbusters.
Then, I began to notice the awkward, herky-jerky transitions from one scene to another. They got more pronounced as
time went on, further annoying me. When I thought the film was about to end, there's still twenty minutes to go!
I tried to have an idea what the rules were, but after seeing Mo Rutherford be stuffed, nothing made sense anymore
because he was clearly infected. In short, anything went, and logic wasn't important. Michael Moriarty and Paul Sorvino
went on to work together in Law & Order, and there's a brief shot of Eric Bogosian, an unremarkable actor who
did guest-star in the aforementioned TV sitcom, at the supermarket.
Wikipedia says of the film: "Writer-director Larry Cohen wanted to cast Arsenio Hall as Chocolate Chip Charlie W. Hobbs,
since he thought he was not only a good but rising star. However, the execs at New World Pictures wanted someone more
recognizable and thus cast Garrett Morris instead." Um.....who???
All in all, The Stuff is a big "nope."
The Stunt Man (1980)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
5/14
5/14:
When I saw The Stunt Man, it felt like a bad Robert Altman picture.
This one has it all: awful acting, nonsensical lines, fake characters, "avant garde" camera techniques, slow pace,
gimmicky scenes, and a nowhere plot. Everybody is either putrid or pretentious when it comes to acting.
Peter O'Toole's character is full of himself. Steve Railsback is too spooky to look at and has the worst acting
skills I've seen since Brad Dourif. Barbara Hershey is so bad that she eventually did
Frogs for Snakes.
Don't be fooled by the adulation on the DVD cover. Honestly, what were the critics thinking in 1980? At least, the
movie within the movie is worse because it makes no sense whatsoever. The following is illuminating which is
according to IMDb:
"Director Richard Rush has said of this movie in a 2001 interview with Paul Hupfield: 'I was lecturing at a university
film school to a bunch of potential film students and asked them if any of them had seen my films. I started with
Color of Night, and I'd say about 80 hands went up out of a room of about 200 kids. Then I asked if anyone had seen
The Stunt Man, the film I actually wanted to talk to them about, and only two hands went up. Two hands in a room of
200! I thought, 'Oh boy, my film is totally lost on this generation...'"
Absolutely. Why would they know about it? I seriously had no idea this movie existed until spotting it on a lonely shelf
at the library. By the way, Richard Rush has a scanty oeuvre, directing only two(!) films since 1980 but none after 1994.
All in all, The Stunt Man...count me out.
The Stupids (1996)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
11/20
11/20:
When I was expecting a sophomoric comedy, John Landis completely surprised me by making sure that
The Stupids wasn't.
What I appreciate is the lack of derivatives. There's nothing that's borrowed or copied off from others, so it's an
impressive job. In every scene, something new happens, and it's done with a lot of creativity with zero offensive
language or sexual content.
I commend the cast for their well-done performances. They know it's a silly movie but give their all, regardless. Like
Fatal Instinct, The Stupids isn't what I call a genuine laugh-out-loud
comedy but has been clever much of the time; again, there's so much of it that I've become overwhelmed.
Looking up the internet to find out what happened to some of the actors, I came across an incident that involved Bug Hall, the kid
who played Buster Stupid. Well, Bug did live up to his character's name because he was recently arrested in Weatherford,
Texas, for inhaling cans of air duster. If I were him, I would think hard about changing the first name.
All in all, perfectly suitable for everybody of all ages, The Stupids is a clever comedy that can be overwhelming
at times.
Submarine X-1 (1968)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
The only reason to take a look at Submarine X-1 is James Caan.
Granted, it's a very, very early role for him, and he was just getting started. So, no...the whole thing
isn't his fault. It's rather the bland supporting cast in the place of the crew that killed the film. Who
are these guys, and what are their names? All are barely developed with no distinguishable characteristics.
At the beginning, when several men blamed the captain for what happened, I'm not given any explanation of
exactly how the incident went down before deciding whether or not I should hate him. So, we move on to a long
training segment, consuming half of the film. At one point, a woman shows up out of nowhere to philosophize
about a pointless observation among guys before the Germans begin to infiltrate the secret compound.
Finally, Submarine X-1 gets to the bottom of what it's supposed to offer: a taste of undersea battle.
The part with two scuba divers being attacked by a German, who's lucky to be in the right spot at the right time,
saves the film's rating from further deterioration. Afterwards is the dilemma of going ahead to sink an
impenetrable battleship, knowing that three of their own will be sacrificed. By the way, if I were the British, I
wouldn't use the lettering on the midget submarines: X-1, X-2, and X-3. That's giving away the answer,
especially if the third one is captured.
All in all, the presence of James Caan somewhat saves Submarine X-1 from being blown up by
4,000-pound amatol.
The Substance of Fire (1996)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
Remember Convicts with Robert Duvall and Lukas Haas?
That's the extreme right. On the left is The Substance of Fire. Both deal with a senile old man. Instead of
Texas, the setting takes place in affluent New York City, and it involves a Jewish family. The trouble? I just
don't care, hence my low rating. Forget about the Holocaust...it's time to move on.
The acting is awkward for the most part, and the script is lousy with a hanging blank ending. Ron Rifkin plays an asshole.
Tony Goldwyn and Timothy Hutton are helpless losers. I hate Sarah Jessica Parker who shouldn't have been cast in the
first place. On the other hand, the production values are high, but it's not enough to save the film.
All in all, don't be fooled by the adulations on the DVD cover for The Substance of Fire; it's a truly boring movie.
The Substitute (1996)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/13
6/13:
Out is Sandy Dennis of Up the Down Staircase, in is Sergeant Barnes as the substitute.
I'm a big fan of Tom Berenger, but he isn't the problem in The Substitute. Neither is the rest of the cast. They're
all decent and give credible performances. Rather, it's the logic that kills my brain.
Where were the other teachers the whole time? The filmmakers can't honestly expect me to believe that only three work at
the school. No assistant principals? No counselors? No anyone else? I used to be a teacher at such a similar-sized high
school, and believe me, it employs lots of people. A gang of mercenaries operates in a rinky-dink high school? Are
we stuck in a time-warp of Miami Vice?
All in all, The Substitute is out of touch with reality.
Sudden Death (1995)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/13
3/13:
Need further proof that NHL isn't popular?
Well, I present to you Sudden Death and rest my case. By the way, Mario Lemieux played for the Pittsburgh Penguins
during that period, so how come I don't see him in the movie? And Jaromir Jagr, too?
While Game Seven of the Stanley Cup Finals was ongoing, I got bored. Ditto for the awful announcing.
It's evident through the boy letting his mind wander although I commend him for staying in his seat, no matter what.
I'm surprised to see no security personnel around the stadium. Even the kitchen is empty. Another is
Jean-Claude Van Damme getting beaten up and manhandled by a mascot (a female, no less) in a long, boring scene.
By the time the game went into overtime, I was yawning and wishing the movie would end already. So, which team won the
Stanley Cup? Who cares? On the other hand, the action and the plot have been predictable from start to finish. I knew
Jean-Claude Van Damme would win, and it's obvious Powers Boothe was channeling
Die Hard's Alan Rickman. At the end, his character takes the girl
for hostage, but why risk the unnecessary heat? If the black FBI agent died, then who's calling the shots? In fact,
is anyone doing anything?
Although Van Damme saves the girl, let's not forget the inevitable high death rate when the dumb hockey fans start
stampeding for the exits and trampling over others who have fallen down on the ground. Oh, yeah. The kids validate
their father's status by calling him a "fireman." Let me shed a tear right now.
All in all, instead of what I hoped for, it's been Sudden Bore.
Sudden Impact (1983)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
5/04, 5/05, 10/07
5/05:
Well, well, well...the vintage Dirty Harry is back.
After two somewhat lackluster sequels, Sudden Impact is a fantastic movie with excellent writing that's sprinkled
with lots of dry humor. It has a legendary scene that ends with a top ten line of all time as the camera zooms in on Clint
Eastwood's face: "Go ahead. Make my day."
When asked about the dog, Dirty Harry asked, "Why? Do you want him?"
"Listen, punk. To me, you're nothing but dogshit, you understand? A lot of things can happen to dogshit. It can be scraped
up with a shovel off the ground. It can dry up and blow away in the wind, or it can be stepped on and squashed. So, take my
advice: be careful where the dog shits you."
"Inspector, your methods are unconventional to say the least. Oh, you get results. But often, your successes are more
costly to this department in terms of expenses and physical destruction than most other men's failures."
All in all, Dirty Harry is the man.
10/07:
Dirty Harry is at it again in Sudden Impact, the funniest picture of the franchise.
Looking better, meaner, and tougher, Clint Eastwood never runs out of great lines. There are plenty of dry humor throughout.
In many ways, Dirty Harry can be considered as a hero. One, he cares about the victims. Two, he's willing to risk
his life to right the wrongs even if it involves unorthodox methods. Three, he puts a lot of effort into his investigative
skills to achieve results while keeping his theory in check. Four, he gets results when nobody is able to do so.
Five, he will go after anyone and shove it down his throat.
Sondra Locke gives a decent performance, setting up the mood of the atmosphere. Paul Drake, a tanned Brando look-alike,
isn't a bad villain but can use more screen time as opposed to Audrie J. Neenan. Most importantly, it's Clint Eastwood who
steals the show.
All in all, Sudden Impact is the second best movie of the Dirty Harry franchise.
Suddenly, Last Summer (1959)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/13
9/13:
The more Katherine Hepburn's character talks about nothing, the longer Suddenly, Last Summer drags.
Sure, the acting is fine, and everybody's performance holds up from start to finish. But it's the ludicrous story that
ruins the film. After the tension builds up for the biggest surprise at the end, it turns out to be a big nothing.
That's the problem with Tennessee Williams' plays: too melodramatic.
All in all, Suddenly, Last Summer is a stupid waste of time.
Sugar Hill (1993)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
11/06
11/06:
Here's another reason why Wesley Snipes was an underrated actor: Sugar Hill.
This one has great acting, most especially from Michael Wright and Clarence Williams III. It's Leon Ichaso's direction
that makes the film work on top of the well-written screenplay with a powerful ending. Sometimes, the pace is slow. Maybe
it's deliberate on purpose, but the performances more than make up for it.
All in all, there's a lot to like about Sugar Hill.
The Sum of All Fears (2002)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/06
1/06:
Uh, Ben Affleck replaces Harrison Ford as Jack Ryan?
Big...fucking...mistake. The Sum of All Fears is a silly, unbelievable film. What's the point? It shouldn't
have been made in the first place. Harrison Ford is Jack Ryan. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
I'm confused about the period of time that it's supposed to be set in. If this is the modern Jack Ryan, then why does
he look younger? If this is the young Jack Ryan, then why is there a sudden emergence of everything that's new-looking
during the late 70's to early 80's?
Okay, if we skip both questions, then why bother with Jack Ryan? They should've used a different name to make it less
confusing. Many characters are poorly identifiable while the action sucks. I didn't know what's going on most of the time.
All in all, it's a shame that Jack Ryan's legacy had to be tarnished by The Sum of All Fears.
A Summer Place (1959)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
3/23
3/23:
In the spirit of Douglas Sirk's films Magnificent Obsession,
All That Heaven Allows, and
Written on the Wind, A Summer Place brings the most out of melodrama
in the worst way possible.
As compelling as the storylines are on top of the contradictions, overreactions, and laughable dialogues, Delmer Daves
makes the fatal mistake of not following them through. Hence, it's been a lot of work on my part to be invested in
the unfolding of the drama without getting rewarded at the end. The most prominent example is Constance Ford as the wicked
stepmother whose container is filled with zero goodness.
Constance Ford controlled the situation for a long while and then, all of a sudden, was dropped. I thought at that point
she got shut out of a possible Oscar nomination. The other one is the forbidden relationship between Ken Jorgenson and
Sylvia Hunter. Although well-developed, it stops being a story, having been faded away in the background.
All left is Molly Jorgenson who's played wonderfully well by Sandra Dee. It's impossible to overlook her. In the shadow of
Constance Ford, she dominates the picture with the best shots possible: left, right, top, and bottom that are replete with her
blond hair and lovely face. Unfortunately, Sandra Dee is paired with the most bland, wooden actor possible in a
romantic picture: Troy Donahue. He's boring and uninteresting. Hence, it's too bad that Alain Delon wasn't instead cast.
Whenever I see the ugly cinematography (which was shot on location in California, not Maine), I can't help but think how
it was done much better at Big Sur in Vincente Minnelli's The Sandpiper with
Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Then, there are Douglas Sirk's pictures when he knew how to bring out the colors
which played an immense role in the shaping of the melodrama. Unfortunately, Delmer Daves missed out on this crucial
element big time.
All in all, if you're hungry for more pictures that are along the lines of Douglas Sirk's style, A Summer Place
will do.
Summer Rental (1985)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
Featuring John Candy's first major role, Summer Rental doesn't have what it takes to be a funny picture.
I don't understand why the filmmakers wasted so much time on the boat race. Maybe they should call it
The Boat Race instead? Oddly, One Crazy Summer was made in 1986, but
this is the original. The rest is flat with little promising material for John Candy to work with.
All in all, there exist great John Candy comedies, but Summer Rental isn't one of them.
Summer School (1987)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/13
10/13:
Here's a well-known comedy classic from the 80's that holds up well today: Summer School.
I saw it plenty of times over the years but failed to remember that the students didn't pass the test but only
to show some improvement in their scores which is the most realistic outcome in the academic world.
The characters aren't unusual because I, a former high school teacher, have dealt with similar
students. The most creative is Chainsaw and his pal Dave. Whoever came up with them gets my kudos for expanding the
obsession with The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.The best scene is
the horror show that's staged for the replacement teacher.
Mark Harmon, a Don Johnson look-alike who once played Ted Bundy, is perfect as the teacher,
a job that he never wanted in the first place but accepted for the perk of summer breaks.
All in all, Summer School will never get old.
Sunchaser (1996)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/18
3/18:
Are you interested in a Michael Cimino film that's about a gangbanger who complains incessantly about everything?
Then, I present you: Sunchaser. The plot is among the worst and most illogical ever. I originally picked it up for
Woody Harrelson who did fine, but it's Jon Seda's character that I can't stand the most. What a
fucking hypocrite.
Again, Michael Cimino is the director of this crappy film, the last of his bizarre career, which made
measly $21,508 at the box office against a budget of $31 million. As evinced in
The Deer Hunter, Heaven's Gate,
and Year of the Dragon, Michael Cimino's methods have always been film
school bullshit that goes too far to abuse my patience by unnecessarily prolonging as many scenes as he sees fit.
Interestingly, Joe D'Augustine, the editor, said when he met Michael Cimino for the first time: "It was kind of eerie,
freaky. I was led into this dark editing room with black velvet curtains, and there was this guy hunched over. They
bring me into, like, his chamber, as if he was the Pope. Everyone was speaking in hushed tones. He had something covering
his face, a handkerchief. He kept his face covered. And nobody was allowed to take his picture. Welcome to Ciminoville."
In support, Mickey Rourke thought the director "snapped" sometime while making this picture and explained, "Michael is the
sort of person that if you take away his money, he short-circuits." Well, it sounds a lot like Michael Jackson. Hell, they
got the same first name.
All in all, go away, Michael Cimino, you suck royally.
Sunday Bloody Sunday (1971)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/15
6/15:
John Schlesinger was among the best directors to come out of England during the 60's.
Two years after the über classic Midnight Cowboy, he did
Sunday Bloody Sunday. The title seems to indicate some kind of violent catastrophe that will occur at some
point, but it never happens. Rather, it's about how Bob Elkin is placed at the center of two people. He's like a rock
to them in terms of support. When he leaves them, it becomes apparent that the whole thing is about relationships.
Hence, that's the brilliance of John Schlesinger's direction.
A lot of films tend to be largely driven by either the performances, the story, the director, the dialogue, or the
cinematography. Sunday Bloody Sunday is all of them. The pace has never been so lively. John Schlesinger displays
different perspectives of how the characters feel, act, and behave.
The performances by Peter Finch, Glenda Jackson, and Murray Head are at once extraordinary and daring. The two actors
put their careers on the line by going further given the topic, and I applaud their efforts. Although Peter Finch and
Glenda Jackson were Oscar-nominated, it's Murray Head who deserved it the most. One-dimensional yet alluring, he nails
his character perfectly. By the way, remember the scene of a boy vandalizing the car with a broken glass bottle? That's
Daniel Day-Lewis. Who knew he would go on to be a three-time Oscar winner?
All in all, Sunday Bloody Sunday is a brilliant, unassuming drama about adult relationships.
Sunnyside (1919)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
A thought dawned on my mind while watching Sunnyside.
Having seen all of his film shorts so far, is it possible that Charlie Chaplin's mind was truly at kindergarten
level? He seems to be somebody who never grew up. His thought process must have been: I'll act like a buffoon
and treat everybody like an idiot, and people will love me!
All in all, I could spend more time pondering this theory of mine about Charlie Chaplin, but it would be a great waste of
time just like Sunnyside.
Sunset Boulevard (1950)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
5/05, 5/06, 7/11, 1/21
5/05:
A top five in film noir history, Sunset Boulevard is a strange, dark picture that continues to age
well like fine wine.
William Holden is superb, dashing, and handsome, but it's Gloria Swanson who steals the limelight. She has brilliant lines
and even more brilliant scenes. In short, it's the role of Gloria Swanson's career that should've netted her an Oscar.
Although the voice-over narration is annoying at the beginning, it gets better. The plot is about the battle between
good and bad, and the bad won out at the end, thus the opening and the closing scenes which are famous in the annals of
cinema.
All in all, Sunset Boulevard is timeless.
5/06:
To refuse to acknowledge Sunset Boulevard as a masterpiece is to commit crime in film appreciation.
An old 1928-29 silent film entitled Queen Kelly was shown which starred Gloria Swanson and was directed by Erich von Stroheim.
While they worked on the film, she, who got disgusted with everything, walked off the set midway and had the director
fired. Despite the editing job by Gloria Swanson and JFK's father, it was never theatrically released in the United
States, bombing elsewhere and therefore ruining her career until Sunset Boulevard came along. At the same time,
JFK's father left her for good.
What occurred in this picture is true of many former silent stars who had faded away into oblivion during the burgeoning
wave of talkies. They owned huge mansions in Los Angeles, but today, almost nobody can name a famous silent star save
for Charlie Chaplin despite not having seen a single film of his.
All in all, there's nothing like Sunset Boulevard.
7/11:
In Sunset Boulevard, Gloria Swanson gives one of the greatest and most legendary performances as Norma Desmond
the fading silent film star.
Timeless and beautiful, she's captivating in every scene. There are many terrific moments from her along with
two famous lines. Hence, it's hard to believe that she lost out to Judy Holliday for Best Actress Oscar. Another thing
that's amazing is Gloria Swanson outlived William Holden by two years despite their 19-year age difference.
All in all, Sunset Boulevard is the big winner that made all pictures of 1950 small.
1/21:
"You're Norma Desmond. You used to be in silent pictures. You used to be big."
Taking a short pause, she defiantly corrects Joe Gillis, "I am big. It's the pictures that got small." It's an all-time
great line to mark the beginning of a strange film that's still timeless after many decades: Sunset Boulevard.
Judy Holliday won the Oscar for Best Actress in 1951. But...nope, I say she didn't deserve it. The award should've gone to
Gloria Swanson. Her performance is the one that everybody remembers. Norma Desmond ranks among the best characters of
all time: beautiful, sad, classic, and haunting all rolled into one.
There's a ring of truth to the plot as it's about a fading star who wants to make a comeback. Gloria Swanson, the former
silent screen star, hadn't made a film in eight years and then barely acted again, knowing that she couldn't top
the role of Norma Desmond. It's also true of William Holden. As hard as it is to believe, he was Joe Gillis,
experiencing no success in Hollywood since Golden Boy which was made eleven years prior. Thereafter, he was back
in demand, having become a bona fide A-list leading man, and went on to do many classic pictures.
An underrated performance is given by Erich von Stroheim who plays Norma's director-turned-husband-turned-butler.
He's primarily responsible for lending a haunting touch to the atmosphere. To counter all the decay is the sunlight of
Betty Schaefer who's wonderfully played by Nancy Olson. I have to give credit to Joe Gillis for turning her away because
he did think of Artie. Meanwhile, I love the inclusion of Cecil B. DeMille as himself to add more Hollywood power to the
film.
Sunset Boulevard is almost the only film I can think of with the best opening and ending scenes (the other is
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid). They're still timeless: cop
cars racing fast on the road, a shot of Joe Gillis in the pool, Max von Mayerling taking over as the director, and Gloria
Swanson coming down the staircase with the final line: "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."
There are great directors, and there's Billy Wilder. His output of classic films is staggering, incomparable, and often
tops in several genres. Sunset Boulevard is by far the number one of his career: masterful writing, high degree of
film noir, and ironic symbolism in many ways. There hasn't been a motion picture like it since then.
All in all, one hundred years from now, Sunset Boulevard will still be watchable.
Sunshine (1999)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/25
4/25:
It's difficult to find a film with Ralph Fiennes in top form apart from
Schindler's List.
Happily, Sunshine exists. Ralph Fiennes is so much better here than he was in
The English Patient. While watching the film,
I thought of Mephisto by
noticing the similarities and didn't realize this was the same guy who directed both: István Szabó.
Three hours is too short to tell a highly ambitious story involving three generations. Some
have succeeded in this task because of the allotted running length:
The Godfather trilogy, Roots, and
Novecento with the first two taking nine hours and the
third five hours. Therefore, each generation in Sunshine should be three hours long; that way,
nothing is rushed.
The first didn't click with me. It's because there are so many events packed that the narration
feels overwhelming. But the next generation is when the movie started to get better. It's the most developed
of three. The third is fine yet needs more running length. All of the characters should be aged as time passes.
A constancy throughout is the outstanding photography which was shot in Budapest, Hungary; Austria; and Germany.
It's interesting how the family identity of Hungarian Jews is lost through the upheavals of society. To no
fault of their own, the characters are oblivious or don't think deeply about it. They just adapt to obtain
favorable situations. Many events happened for real, but this is rather a film à clef. For example,
the fencing champion is based on Attila Petschauer who earned medals in the Olympics but perished in the
Holocaust afterwards because of his Jewish heritage.
Ralph Fiennes plays three different characters: one for each generation. Initially, the switch may seem
awkward, but he has found a way for me to move on from it. However, his sex scenes are more gratuitous than
meaningful. István Szabó might want to rethink them a bit. The rest of the cast toes the line, but Rosemary
Harris has done a poor job of connecting with what Jennifer Ehle had accomplished, despite their mother-daughter
relationship in real-life, to become the most important character of the film.
All in all, Sunshine never feels like an epic and should've been converted into a miniseries, but
I don't mind seeing it again.
The Super (1991)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/21
4/21:
The Super provides a pretty good idea of how the Trump family made its fortune as slumlords.
According to Webster's dictionary, the definition of the profession is "a landlord who receives unusually large profits
from substandard, poorly maintained properties." It often happens in high-minority, deteriorating neighborhoods where
people can be easily intimidated because they don't have a recourse for justice.
I'm not sure if Joe Pesci should be proud or embarrassed of his participation in this film because he looks bad
playing a loudmouthed jerk with a pissed-off face. The plot is supposed to be about addressing building code violations,
yet halfway through, I'm forced to watch a pointless pickup basketball game with Kritski showing off his lame moves. At
the same time, he keeps targeting the female lawyer for unwanted sexual advances.
The Super is the last picture for Vincent Gardenia who plays a stupid character for the umpteenth time. The way
he does his business as the ultimate slumlord is Fred Trump in the flesh. He would pass on the same set of mores to
his son Donald. How they behave is eerily the same.
There's a change of heart at the end? No way. It never happened for either Fred or Donald Trump. They were always thinking
of money while not giving in to the little people. If Kritski wants to make amends, he'll be broke at the end because of
this inevitable fact: it's extremely expensive to fix everything.
Meant to be a comedy, The Super is inappropriate while many characters drop out like flies in the long run. I won't
go so far to label it as "racist" because the substandard living situation has been a decades-long reality for many
minorities living in inner cities such as Camden, Trenton, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington, D.C., New York City,
Detroit, Chicago, St. Louis, and Los Angeles.
All in all, like Breakfast at Tiffany's and
Carbon Copy, The Super is a painful movie to watch when it comes to
how minorities are treated.
The Super Cops (1974)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/15
6/15:
The Super Cops is a film I recently caught on TCM because of my appeal to Ron Leibman due to his brilliant
performance as Alcalde in Zorro, The Gay Blade.
Unfortunately, he's okay here which is essentially Serpico in a
Car 54, Where Are You? way. Ron Leibman is rendered one-dimensional by flashing his teeth often as if he's some
hick from Georgia. His co-star David Selby isn't any more than a mannequin who just stands there.
Rather, I'm mystified by the premise that walk-ins can whiz through a "weekend course" that's filled with scanty
training and be certified as police officers in New York City. As a matter of fact, that's what happened to David
Greenberg and Robert Hantz.
Although Greenberg and Hantz's work had been commendable which led to the cleanup of corruption among boys in blue, the
feel-good message was ultimately marred by their real-life arrests that went against the grain of what they were about.
Additionally, the lack of grit, which is more of comedy than drama, doesn't help, either.
All in all, The Super Cops isn't believable.
Super Fly (1972)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/11, 12/21
6/11:
Like Shaft, Super Fly is hampered by slow pace which is the reason why
I wasn't able to stay awake throughout.
This film is a rare example of having been outgrossed by its soundtrack which was famously scored by Curtis Mayfield.
Of the cast, I like Carl Lee's gritty performance. Unfortunately, Ron O'Neal doesn't do much for me. Many viewers said
Super Fly was among the most important films of the 70's, but to me, it's a long cocaine commercial with characters
bedecked in atrocious-looking pimp outfits.
There's not much of a plot, and it's hard to sympathize with Priest who tries hard to get out of the cocaine-dealing
business. What about his customers who fell victim to drug addiction that'll lead to their premature
death? The truth is: he ruined a lot of people's lives by providing an insiduous outlet.
All in all, Super Fly is a prime example of the Blaxploitation genre, but let's be real: it's Curtis Mayfield's
soundtrack that did it.
12/21:
In some actors' lifetime, there's only one film they'll be forever associated with and nothing else matters, and for
Ron O'Neal, it's Super Fly.
I previously rated it '3', but this time, my impression is more favorable. One thing is for sure: unlike a lot of
movies in the Blaxploitation genre, Super Fly is at once serious and original. To go further is Curtis Mayfield's
amazing soundtrack. If Isaac Hayes won the Oscar for Shaft, Curtis Mayfield should've
gotten it, too. There's no Super Fly without his music, period.
Another category that it should be Oscar-nominated for is Best Costume Design. It's not often I see people wearing
clothes so well, having become part of their characters. What I hate the most is the gallery of photo stills that's
shown halfway to glamorize cocaine. It slows the pace down too much and is therefore unnecessary.
Ron O'Neal is iconic as Youngblood Priest. Sometimes, it's easy to root for him, but let's be real: he deals cocaine,
a substance that kills people. There's truth in what he does for a living: it's the best way for many black people to make a
significant amount of money back then. I love the 70's gritty feel with a lot of black power going on. The characters
are tough, and Youngblood Priest survives the underground world by using his wits and anger.
All in all, Super Fly is a top ten Blaxploitation picture.
Superman (1978)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/08
7/08:
Superman works during the first forty minutes but falls apart thereafter.
Made in 1978, it hasn't aged well since then. I can spot the strings holding up Christopher Reeve. Yes, I admit there are certain
scenes that have stayed stuck in my mind. However, I'll give the film two things: it has wonderful
special effects and Marlon Brando is terrific.
Yet the plot sucks. Why not name the city New York City instead of Metropolis? It's so obvious. Lex Luthor is bland,
uninteresting, and not menacing. Why does he have to reveal his plans to Superman? Come on, that's dumb. Margot Kidder
as Lois Lane, eh...no, thanks. The most famous scene is when Superman spun the planet backwards. I was thinking, "Why couldn't
he go further back until he met Lex Luthor for the first time?" All of the problems would've been avoided.
Remember when Clark Kent was an 18-year-old boy running quickly past a train while the five-year-old Lois Lane looked on.
Then, fast-forward to now, they're close in age when meeting each other for the first time? If Clark kicks the football up in
the air, won't somebody be killed when it lands somewhere far away? Superman's famous slogan is: "I'm here to fight for truth,
justice, and the American way." So, I guess the problems in Africa aren't important to him. Well, good luck with
that because the United States is a very corrupt country.
All in all, Superman is dated.
Superman II (1980)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/08
7/08:
For the most part, I was thinking of giving Superman II either '4' or '5'.
Then, the last ten minutes came which left me with a sour taste. Hence, I decided on '3'. Speaking of the opening scene, it
should be cut out because if I want a reminder of what happened, I'll rewatch the original, thank you.
Well, the first and second parts are even in all areas. But this time, I'm glad to see the sequel is
shorter by thirty-five minutes. It has mundane action and is therefore aimed at kids under 12 while the acting is
fair. The best part is the scenes between Kal-El and Jor-El with some good stuff from Marlon Brando once again.
At times, I don't like Clark Kent. He comes across to me as a selfish person who's willing to give up his awesome superpower
for a silly, worthless girl. When he can't handle the limits of a human being for at least one hour, it's only because of
the avoidable fight with a bum. After Clark Kent is defeated, he's back to his old self so he can get even with him.
It's a weird message, I must say.
The worst moment is when the caped superhero spun the earth again. I feel cheated by it because simply put: why is
there a sequel when he could've done it before meeting Lex Luthor for the second time in the original film? So, I guess,
from now on, every time something bad happens, Superman will turn back time whenever he pleases.
On the other hand, the special effects are outstanding for the time. I love the scene when the president of the United States said
he "would protect the people of the world." Since when was he appointed to do so?
All in all, Superman II is stupid, outdated crap.
Superman III (1983)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/08
7/08:
Yep, this is the worst Superman movie of all time.
Superman III has left my head shaking. Nothing works. Every time a subplot occurs, I've forgotten
what just happened before. If the sequel is going to leave out Marlon Brando, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman,
Ned Beatty, and Valerie Perrine, then it's fair to say the franchise is over.
Allowing Richard Pryor to play a crackhead doesn't help matters any. At the end, his character getting a "get out of jail
free" card doesn't sit well with me. It's hard to believe Clark Kent is no longer interested in Lois
Lane by switching his eyes on the sensual Lana Lang who comes off like an insidious money-grubbing, fame-seeking whore.
All in all, there are many things wrong with Superman III, but I'm too exhausted to list them.
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/08
7/08:
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace returns to what it used to be during the first two films: boring, bland,
uninspired, and, worst of all, forgettable.
At least, this one isn't as bad as the last sequel which can be discarded since many characters including Lana Lang
are gone. Thankfully, it's an hour shorter than the original and thirty minutes less than each of the last two parts.
The plot is harebrained as everybody seems content in giving half-assed performances. I don't understand why they have
to act silly when being normal will
do.
To tell you the truth, I watched all of the four Superman films a long time ago but didn't remember most of them.
It'll probably be true years later if I decide to rewatch them. Most of the time, I was looking for the strings that held
up Christopher Reeve.
All in all, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace sucks.
Superman Returns (2006)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/08
7/08:
The worst part about cough syrup is the grogginess afterwards.
That's how I felt with Superman Returns. For 154 minutes, I kept falling asleep as I struggled to understand why
it had to be so goddamn long. At the first hour mark, I stopped, so I could clean the fish tank, vacuum the house,
and run some errands. After feeling energized, I started the film again only to be immediately put to sleep.
From start to finish, I have no idea what the movie is about. There's no plot to speak of. The old
Superman
films may have been dated, but the special effects were far better than this garbage. Dark and messy, I can hardly
see the sun. Um, this isn't supposed to be Batman.
All in all, I wish the Superman franchise would die already.
The Sure Thing (1985)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/20
12/20:
The Sure Thing is anything but what it intends to be.
I've never been a fan of John Cusack who was 16 at the time. He has dead black eyes and pretends to be cool when he's, in
fact, obnoxious. In this film, he talks, talks, and talks, and all I wanted to do is tell him: "John, John...shut the
fuck up."
Daphne Zuniga's character, Alison, doesn't do it for me. At one point, she had the chance to leave for
Los Angeles by acquiring a bus ticket but didn't follow through it. That's when the movie started to run out of gas.
Then later, she gleefully said, "I have a credit card." I was like, "Okay, get a flight ticket or whatever, so this
madness can end already." Yet it was never pursued, either. So, was Alison implying that she liked the moron after all?
Uh, it's strange. Then again, her taste in men, as evidenced by Jason, has been questionable all along.
While the two lead characters are on the road to hitchhike their way back home, the scenes have been ripped-off
from It Happened One Night with Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. By
the way, I don't understand why Nicollette Sheridan has that white thing on her arm which will create a tan line.
All in all, ditch The Sure Thing, and go with It Happened One Night.
Surfer, Dude (2006)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/12
2/12:
Whoa, Surfer, Dude is an enjoyable lightfare picture that got panned by the critics.
It's somewhat The Endless Summer except there's little surfing involved.
Unfortunately, the movie isn't as deep as I hoped for. There are a lot of ganja smoking, stoned behavior, goat farming,
didgeridoo, and rolling with the times.
Tailor-made for Matthew McConaughey, I love his re-teaming with Woody Harrelson after what they did in
EDtv. To improve the cast more is the inclusion of Willie Nelson. Now, I wonder how bad
Steve Addington's shorts smell and how dirty his feet are.
All in all, Surfer, Dude is about how money is the root of all evil as people want to be independent by getting
away from the control and puppetry, but is that obvious already?
Suspect (1987)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
9/21
9/21:
Congratulations to everybody for being part of what's the most absurd courtroom thriller of all time.
The ending of Suspect has to be seen to believe. It's like watching Shattered
come alive in the middle of The Verdict. No matter what, it's watchable and moves
well. Tons of thanks go to Dennis Quaid for making it happen; he's convincing although the subplot involving his
character and Grace Comisky is pointless with Liam Neeson's face getting beet red to give it a run for the money.
Impossibly beautiful for a public defender, Cher has done a horrible job of trying to earn lots of points on the
liberal score sheet. Acting like she has an alternative theory of what actually happened, Riley tries to force
everybody to accept it. At one point, she wears a black leather jacket during the murder trial. Can we have some
seriousness here?
Riley's courtroom antics are so tiresome that Judge Helms needs to have her cited and recommended for
disbarment. Once may be random, but twice isn't. Helms should've pretended to leave the building in order to come back and
witness the potentially illegal exchange between the public defender and the juror. They're often seen, even in public.
Then again, Washington, D.C., is a small town. Even Riley lied to the judge which is a disbarrable offense.
As for the murder mystery, it's absurd, to say the least. The charges against Carl Wayne Anderson are so weak that
it's a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. There's no physical evidence linking him to the crime.
Riley sure talks a lot, regardless of her client's deafness. How will he understand anything she says?
Why is the condemned car left on the parking lot for weeks? As part of the crime scene, it should be sent to the impound
center. The cops overlooked the tape? Um, yeah. By the way, where did Riley get the tire iron? At one pont, she and
Sanger entered the Department of Justice floor that's unguarded and devoid of people, so they could access classified
files. Only in Hollywood.
The ending is amazing, I must say. Cher goes to the courtroom building for a book she conveniently forgot. After
hearing something suspicious, she runs to the basement that's filled with empty but perfectly lit jail cells and traps
herself by being backed to a cul-de-sac. The guy grabs her neck and is therefore cut on the arm. The next day in court,
Riley calls out Helms for committing the murder which is incidentally the focus of the case they're trying. He attempts
to bang the gavel but reveals his bloody arm that was the result of the night before. Hence, it's ridiculous,
improbable, and unbelievable.
All in all, Suspect takes law and turns it into silly nonsense.
Suspicion (1941)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/06
2/06:
Suspicion is a fine Hitchcock movie that lacks logic in spots.
Backed by good writing, I like the buildup of suspense leading to a fine ending. Although not envincing enough in
chemisty, Cary Grant and Joan Fontaine make for a good pair to generate thrills.
When Captain Melbeck lost the money for no reason other than gambling, the issue is so serious that his wife
should've been informed about it earlier. I don't understand how they're able to manage to stay afloat thereafter, even
with a maid.
All in all, Suspicion needs to be seen again later.
Suspicious Minds (1997)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/12
6/12:
Suspicious Minds is an enjoyable low-key neo-noir.
The whole thing is well-done that's helped by the fine performance of Patrick Bergin who should be familiar as the
mean husband in Sleeping with the Enemy. This time, he plays a good
guy, and his mustache is what makes the film noirish.
On the other hand, Jayne Heitmeyer does a fabulous job as the femme fatale by creating enough suspense to set
up the ending, however odd it is. Laced with intelligence and a good deal of mystery, the plot is sensible and thus
works, passing for a thriller.
Although Gary Busey is prominently shown on the VHS cover, he isn't in the movie that much. It'll be better
if he's left off the cast because his presence serves no purpose. This is strictly Patrick Bergin's vehicle.
All in all, Suspicious Minds works for a ninety-minute neo-noir with twists and turns that will keep you
guessing right up to the surprise ending.
Suspiria (1977)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
Looking at the back cover of the DVD case, Suspiria has been declared to be among the best horror films made.
Okay, I watched it, and at the end, I was like, "Where's the horror?" Instead, what I saw is pure crap that's more like
soft porno than anything. There's too much fake blood. Despite the jazzy interior design, there's no story whatsoever, and
bad acting is all over the place.
All in all, in order to make a horror film, Dario Argento should remind himself of the folllowing axiom: "There
must be horror!"
Suture (1993)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
Suture is among the worst films I've seen.
The script by Scott McGehee and David Siegel is downright pretentious and nonsensical. They tried to make everything
to be deep, but I couldn't stop rolling my eyes. Even worse is that I'm forced to believe Clay Arlington is Vincent Towers
when it's been Dennis Haysbert the entire time...a black man whose skin is obviously black in color!
What the filmmakers should've done instead is switch Michael Harris with Dennis Haysbert after the car accident. When they
confront each other at the end, both should be played by Michael Harris and his identical twin. If Michael Harris doesn't
have one, then find another actor who actually does! By the way, that isn't a house but a store which happens to look
like a gallery.
All in all, the only line emblazoned across the cover of Suture should be: "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???"
Swamp Thing (1982)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
12/05
12/05:
Swamp Thing is a corny movie.
From start to finish, the made-for-TV-feel is prominent with weird characters and lame action sequences. Apart from the cheap
special effects, it's Adrienne Barbeau who kills the film.
Why not hire real mercenaries if the villain is supposed to be a genius? I hate it when Arcana was transformed into Beowulf or
something. At the same time, there's a strange romance subplot going on.
All in all, Swamp Thing isn't horror but is more of a fantasy film.
The Swarm (1978)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/21
5/21:
Irwin Allen wasn't called the Master of Disaster for nothing.
Four years after the success of The Towering Inferno, The Swarm was
released, and this time, it's African honey bees upending people's lives. Unfortunately, the film wasn't a moneymaker
like The Towering Inferno or
The Poseidon Adventure, signaling the end of Irwin Allen's career.
Well, that's too bad because it's a terrific movie with a true all-star cast (ten Oscar wins for seven thespians out
of nine with twenty-five nominations). Only Michael Caine, Richard Widmark, and Henry Fonda make an impression while
the rest are so-so.
At first, I thought The Swarm was going to be a B-rated sci-fi flick because of the cheesy neon-colored uniforms.
But as soon as Michael Caine took over, it's when the movie started to improve considerably. Then, the story got more
interesting as the events unfolded. The philosophical battles between Michael Caine's and Richard Widmark's characters
are among the highlights.
I was thinking of viable solutions to the problem, and the on-screen characters eventually came up with them which
produced negative results. Finally, one worked out: the sound of a mating call, causing the bees migrate to wherever
it's coming from. At the same time, the script is intelligent, so I appreciate the dialogue. Ditto for making a lot
of kids die which is part of life.
However long the movie is, which is 156 minutes, I don't mind the running length, but because of Olivia de Havilland, Fred
MacMurray (in the final role of his career), and Ben Johnson failing to match the acting intensity of Michael Caine,
Richard Widmark, and Henry Fonda, their romance triangle subplot is a digression as compared to the overall situation.
All in all, The Swarm has been frequently called one of the worst movies ever made, but I disagree and think
it's well-made with some strong performances, an intriguing storyline, and excellent special effects which included
twenty-two million real bees.
Sweet Smell of Success (1957)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/12, 6/24
1/12:
Sweet Smell of Success is a well-made film with superior acting from the ensemble cast and great writing which
can be over the top at times.
However, the whole thing doesn't work. I'm constantly forced to keep up with the events and the dialogue so I can try
to get it. At the end, having thought about what had transpired, I must say it's been a waste of time. Life is way more
than that.
All in all, no matter how I feel about Sweet Smell of Success, it's a good movie with excellent performances by
Tony Curtis and Burt Lancaster.
6/24:
Trying Sweet Smell of Success again, it's just not for me.
Why is that? The script doesn't work. The way Sidney Falco and J.J. Hunsecker converse is bizarre and makes no sense.
Nobody ever talked like that back then. After thirty minutes or so, the dialogue becomes better, but some of the lines
remain silly such as: "Harvey, I often wish I were deaf and wore a hearing aid. With a simple flick of a switch, I could
shut out the greedy murmur of little men," "Sidney, conjugate me a verb. For instance, 'to promise,'" and "The brains
may be Jersey City, but the clothes are Trainor-Norell." Yeah, okay...whatever.
All of the characters are unlikeable. What do I care if a girl is controlled by her brother who happens to be a
powerful columnist? Regardless, Tony Curtis gives the best performance of his career. Burt Lancaster is fine but isn't
shown that much. His character is obviously based on Walter Winchell, a stupid, idiot man who died like an alcoholic
loser after making it the mission of his life to ruin as many people as he could.
At least, James Wong Howe's location photography of New York City is excellent. It's certainly film noir
that paints a dog-eat-dog world. However, the movie was a box-office failure; people just didn't like it, and I can see
why.
All in all, I won't say Sweet Smell of Success is overrated, but it's a silly movie for the most part.
Sweet Sweetback's
Baadasssss Song (1971)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/17
6/17:
The title, Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song, may look strange to you, but it has an enormous reputation as a landmark
picture in black cinema history.
Hence, the tagline reads: "This is the movie the Man doesn't want you to see. Rated X by an all-white jury!" It's not the
first black film made but is, along with Shaft, credited with the creation of the
Blaxploitation genre that lasted through the 70's.
Shot on a $150,000 budget in nineteen days and released through two theatres in Detroit and Atlanta, the seminal
picture broke box-office records and made a total sum of fifteen million dollars. It was a watershed moment in black
cinema, causing the Hollywood studios to green-light the now well-known pictures of the genre such as
Super Fly, The Mack,
Black Caesar, and Coffy which were made by black filmmakers starring an all-black cast that's primarily
for black viewers.
Melvin Van Peebles wrote, produced, scored, edited, directed, and starred in Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song.
More of an arthouse film than anything else, it's The Birth of a Nation of
black cinema with supplied music from Earth, Wind & Fire which became big afterwards. The beginning says, "This film
is dedicated to all the brothers and sisters who had enough of the Man." It's almost impossible for the modern viewers
to watch the film and think deeply about it, hence the nitpicking on the plot, dialogue, cinematography, and acting.
Melvin Van Peebles didn't care for most films hitherto that cast black thespians; hence, he decided to make his own to set
the record straight. In order to do it, he went guerilla and performed his job so unconventionally that he did his own
stunts and contracted gonorrhea as a result of one sex scene.
The theme is about racism, alienation, misery, persecution, police brutality, escape, and survival. At best, it's
surreal and, at worst, incomprehensible. The message was so effective that the film was a required viewing for all members of the
Black Panther Party, serving as a rallying call to justify the Black Power revolution. If the Academy Awards could be so
bold at that time, giving Melvin Van Peebles an Oscar nomination for Best Editing shouldn't be out of the question.
All in all, because of Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song, Melvin Van Peebles proved that he could beat the White
Establishment at its game.
Swept from the Sea (1997)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
12/24
12/24:
"THIS MOVIE WILL MOVE YOUR SOUL."
That's why I don't like these earth-shattering proclamations. I'll just end up being disappointed and say,
"That's it?" Enter Swept from the Sea.
Where to begin? I have to go with Vincent Perez first. He has no personality and reminds me too much of Joseph
Fiennes. Had the role gone to an esteemed actor with strong personality like Brad Pitt or Daniel Day-Lewis,
then okay...we might have something here.
However, I can see why they wouldn't be interested in this sort of thing because the script is so
ordinary with zero feel for Joseph Conrad. To overcome the problem, it's recommended that
Swept from the Sea is turned into a foreign picture. It tends to work out better this way. They know how
to capture the subtleties that Hollywood never can. Because of the excellent cinematography, which was
virtually shot on location in Cornwall and West Yorkshire, England, I think the filmmakers started with that and
then worked their way out.
I don't get why everybody kept calling Rachel Weisz's character retarded or a witch. Far from that. I say
she's the fetch of the county because of her looks. If it's Shelley Winters or somebody along the lines,
I'll believe it more. For a servant, there's no way she wears clothes like that with nice fabric. Plus,
she would be too busy for the displaced Ukrainian national. Remember when her dress caught fire inside
the cave? That's impossible for her legs not to receive third-degree burns.
As for the rest of the supporting cast, only Ian McKellan stands out; then again, he's a trained Shakespearean
actor which is to say the material is up his alley. By the way, as a narrator, how is that he was aware of many
things which could only be known to the star-crossed lovers? On the other hand, Joss Ackland and Kathy Bates are
almost useless.
All in all, Vincent Perez was, simply put, the wrong choice for the leading role in Swept from the Sea.
Swimfan (2002)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/19
10/19:
Swimfan is the textbook case of a film that was going well until the last twenty minutes when everything went
south, prompting me to ask, "What the fuck just happened?"
None of it is Jesse Bradford's fault because he's the one who carried the movie on his back from start to finish. As Ben
Cronin, he does a solid job even though he's apparently growing a goatee by the minute. It's hard to say if his character
made a mistake because Madison Bell is a lot hotter than his current girlfriend, Amy, who's in dire need of iron in her
diet. Then, there's Stanford University where beautiful and smart women are plentiful. Hence, Jesse should've focused
on his swimming scholarship despite the noise.
Swimfan is The Crush all over again with
Traffic's Erika Christensen standing in for Alicia Silverstone.
Because she can't pass for a good-looking woman, Erika has to put on heavy makeup to be an impossibly lonesome
femme fatale. It's distracting to say the least, and there's no way she would remain friendless or be
unsurrounded by people given her sultry appearance.
The first hour is fine: hip, effective, quick, and easy to watch à la Scream. But the
last twenty minutes is when the movie changed gears. Either the producers ran out of money, forced everybody to rush it,
or had idiots for screenwriters, I can only guess what happened, but it shouldn't be hard to come up with something
original for a satisfying finish. All the money and the backing of a studio have to be enough to make it work which only
requires patience.
Instead, they opted for a cheap, clichéd "Madison finds the most improbable way to escape the situation so she can return
to the game" by having a police officer in the back with her and he has a gun in his holster facing her side. I wonder
how she got to the driver since it's impossible to get out of the squad car from the back and there's a bulletproof
glass that separates her from the front. When Madison died, it felt so anticlimactic. At the same time, what's with the
repetitive camera shots of Ben's sudden reactions? Doing it once should suffice, but the editor keeps reusing the same
technique ad nauseam, ruining the primary effect.
Speaking of high school sports, I guarantee you nobody was ever tested for steroids. When the results came in for Ben
Cronin, I was flabbergasted and therefore laughed myself silly because I knew district, region, and state champions in
wrestling were abusing steroids for many years; it was such an open secret that nobody did anything about it.
On the other hand, when Ben's girlfriend was deliberately run over by Madison, I was surprised to see Amy looking good
when her face should be halfway torn off with multiple broken bones elsewhere on her body. In fact, getting run over by
the Bronco is enough to kill her. Instead, Amy was all ready to go home, perfectly intact in mere hours during the same
night, and none of her family or friends bothered to show up at the hospital?
When Amy, who's shackled to a chair, is pushed onto the Olympic-sized pool and left to drown, Ben's immediate instinct
is to jump from the opposite end and swim for her toward the deep end. I'm just wondering: won't it be easier to run
around to the side and dive from there? The fastest possible time to swim 25 meters, which is one full lap, for a
conference champion is between eleven and thirteen seconds. Ben will be slower because he's wearing street clothes. Then,
all of a sudden, he has a hairpin ready to go to pick Amy's handcuffs while they're seven to eight feet underwater.
Judging the time it took for Ben to save her, Amy should be already dead.
A lot of people said Swimfan was a rip-off of Fatal Attraction.
That's not true. Fatal Attraction is a rip-off
of Play Misty for Me, and therefore, Swimfan is a rip-off of the
Clint Eastwood classic.
All in all, had the last twenty minutes been fixed, Swimfan would be a decent, if unoriginal, high school
psychological thriller with substance.
The Swimmer (1968)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
12/16, 3/19
12/16:
The Swimmer is a strange, disturbing movie, but Burt Lancaster is a dream.
I'm now getting to the point that it's hard to say, "Oh, Burt Lancaster was bad in this or that." He's always been good in
everything. His role in The Swimmer proves to be the most challenging of his career because he has nothing to work with.
It's just him and his bathing suit.
Not many actors can do what Burt Lancaster did while making the performance work without any hint of embarrassment. He,
at age 52, was in outstanding shape at the time. In fact, Burt Lancaster said it was the best work he had ever done
and thus called it Death of a Salesman in swimming trunks. It's not hard to see why.
Once again, it's a strange, disturbing movie because the story is frustrating; it's like I want more details about Neddy in
order to find out what happened to him in the past. The ending is haunting as well. There are many symbols that are hard to
make out. Even more difficult is how much time had passed. It's the middle of the summer at the beginning
before gradually transitioning to autumn at the end, all in one day.
Weird encounters happen between Neddy and his neighbors as he swims from one pool to another. Each time a revelation,
which turns out to be embarrassing, is made about Neddy, it's big blow to his character, and what's amazing is Neddy putting
up a straight face and going on with his merry self.
All in all, there's no doubt that The Swimmer is among Burt Lancaster's finest films.
3/19:
Ask me what's the weirdest movie I've seen, and I'm probably going to say The Swimmer.
Burt Lancaster is so good as Neddy who's absolutely in shape at age 52. It's among the best performances of his career. In fact,
he called the film Death of a Salesman in swimming trunks. Nobody could've done what he did. His character starts
out beamingly gay. As time progresses, the tone gets darker as disturbing revelations are made about him. The finale is the
nail in his coffin which has made me wonder what the heck happened.
All in all, Burt Lancaster is sublime in The Swimmer.
Swimming Pool (2003)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/14
6/14:
The seductive cover lured me to seeing Swimming Pool in the first place, and afterwards, I don't think it's that bad.
My theory of what happened is simple: the author dreamed about her newly penned story. Otherwise, the whole thing is implausible
because it's too simple, neat, and convenient. The other theory, which is weak, is she killed her mother and waiter boyfriend.
Although the movie seems slow, it has a nice pace in order to build up the setting. Perhaps that's why it has an enticing
power. Charlotte Rampling, who plays the author, is an Ellen Burstyn clone. Hence, the catalyst is Ludivine Sagnier whose acting
ability is only limited to being naked as often as possible.
All in all, I normally dismiss dream films, but Swimming Pool does well.
Swingers (1996)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/05, 8/10, 1/24
6/05:
Tacky and simply great, Swingers is one of the funniest movies I've seen.
Although Jon Favreau may have written the screenplay with the goal of a starring role for himself, it's Vince Vaughn who
steals every scene and has the best lines including "You are so money, and you don't even know it."
All in all, Vince Vaughn should've recieved an Oscar nomination for Swingers.
8/10:
Watching Swingers again, I laughed every minute.
It's so funny in a corny way. Two great lines are: "You are so money, and you don't even know it" and "Vegas, baby, Vegas."
Vince Vaughn is impressive as Trent. Jon Favreau is merely okay which is a big change from the loudmouth, airhead characters
he always plays. The most interesting aspect between their characters is the fine line between confidence and embarrassment.
All in all, Swingers is a comedic gem.
1/24:
This time, I'm downgrading Swingers big, big time from '9' to '5'.
I find the characters annoying. Simply put, they're losers. Without question, Vince Vaughn is outstanding in a breakthrough role. His
quote "You are so money, and you don't even know it" is an all-time great. Sadly, Vince Vaughn's magnetic effect starts to diminish
by the time his character and Mike bailed out of Las Vegas. Ripping off a couple of scenes from several well-known movies isn't cool, either.
It's hard to like or sympathize with Mike. He's an all-time loser who's more interested in control and wants
everything done in the correct way. Ditto for his friends who hop from one bar or party to another, calling each place "dead." That's
because they're losers to begin with. Mike finding a woman this pretty with no issues at the bar is a "yeah, right" moment.
All in all, Swingers is Marty of the 90's, and I mean that in a bad way.
Switchback (1997)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
12/20
12/20:
Unpredictable that's full of solid acting, Switchback is too clever for its own good.
The avuncular Danny Glover makes it simple for me to guess he's the killer after all. Director Jeb
Stuart tries to throw things off by using some silly strategies to sheer me into thinking it might be Lane Dixon (Jared Leto).
Well, I wasn't fooled. In hindsight, that's why I never saw the movie when it came out in 1997, grossing $6.5 million
against a budget of $38 million. Yet the acting is exemplary. It's what kept me engaged.
R. Lee Ermey is super special and is almost Oscar-worthy, but the director manages to ruin everything and doesn't give him
more screen time to wrap up his character properly. Danny Glover is outstanding. I would've said back then Jared Leto
was going to be big. Oddly, Dennis Quaid gives a stiff performance.
Given the cops were looking for the serial killer, I thought to myself, "Why not ask Ted Levine?" The guy should know
because he played Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs. Of course,
the genre is old hat; therefore, movies that showcase super-intelligent, all-knowing serial killers is annoying when in
fact they've never existed except for maybe Jack the Ripper and the Zodiac Killer. At least, he's black for a change.
As well-paced as Switchback is, things become sillier toward the end. It's the last half-hour that ruins the film which was
started by the perfectly orchestrated car crash. When the FBI agent finally figured out the number (a huge
stretch here) that's associated with a train, it's a signal of the filmmakers being too cute. The final nail in the
coffin is the unrealistic battle between Dennis Quaid and Danny Glover on the metal beam that's attached to the fast-moving train.
All in all, Switchback has many red herrings, implausible characters, and "no way" moments yet is quite watchable.
Swordfish (2001)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/06
4/06:
I've enjoyed the unpredictable Swordfish.
Without John Travolta, it would've been a boring cyberpunk picture. I love his villainous character. It has an intriguing story
that likes to push the envelope. I'm usually against CGI because it always looks contrived. But this time, Swordfish
gets it right.
All in all, thanks to John Travolta, Swordfish is fun to watch.
Sybil (1976)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
The more I watch Sally Field in Sybil, the more I'm convinced that she's the master of bullshit acting.
She's never believable for one second. Of course, they had to have Joanne Woodward for this because she won the
Oscar for The Three Faces of Eve by playing the same type of
character. Patty Duke and Anne Bancroft would've done a far better job than them by digging deep, but it's
impossible to overcome the lousy script. It just drones on endlessly for over three hours with a laughable ending.
No matter what, there's no such thing as multiple personality disorder (MPD), and to escape the notorious history,
it's been renamed dissociative identity disorder (DID). Why? It's always something else, whatever it is, that's
caused by comorbidities. The biggest mistake the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
ever made is allowing the inclusion of MPD. It's nothing but income generator, and insurance companies
have stopped covering treatment for it.
There's no way Chris Sizemore, the subject that The Three Faces of Eve
was based on, had MPD; she most likely suffered from a different type of disorder. But the real Sybil (Shirley
Mason) is a certified fraud, having admitted to making up everything years later. Really, she, her doctor, and the
writer of the book formed a partnership (Sybil, Inc.) to exploit the disorder for financial gain. Well, it worked,
selling million copies of the book, and everybody bought into it: hook, line, and sinker. In fact, the film makes
this obvious because, after all, how can a busy doctor have so much time for one patient who's broke and without
insurance?
While watching the film, I thought what Sybil had was simply hysterics. But as soon as child abuse entered
the picture, her issues were rather serious, so it had to be dissociative amnesia. It doesn't matter anyway because
in Shirley's words: "I do not have any multiple personalities...I do not
even have a 'double'...I am all of them. I have been essentially lying." By the way, Brad Davis stars as
Richard who wisely decided to get the hell out of Dodge after finding out for the first time, and
he'll be famous in two years' time, thanks to Midnight Express.
Not many people know this, but a serial killer named Kenneth Bianchi of the Hillside Stranglers, who had a strong
interest in psychology, watched Sybil one night and decided to adopt a new strategy by showing symptoms of
MPD, so he could get away with the murders by blaming everything on "Steve." This caught the detectives off guard,
and psychiatrists were hired to evaluate his claim and one of them determined he didn't have MPD by failing a
simple test. As a result, Bianchi took a plea deal by confessing to everything, implicating his partner Angelo
Buono, in exchange for a life sentence. Currently, he's behind bars in Walla Walla, Washington.
As for the real story, Shirley was initially treated by Dr. Cornelia Wilbur in Omaha, Nebraska, during WWII. After
men starting coming back to their old profession from Europe, Dr. Wilbur lost her job and had to stop working
with Shirley. Afterwards, she was actually doing well on her own for nine years and didn't need therapy,
thanks to her surgery for endometriosis.
Once Shirley reunited with Dr. Wilbur in New York City by random chance, she slowly fell apart after a new
round of treatments with her "alters" beginning to appear despite nothing the last time. That's because, in
1953, a couple of doctors from Georgia presented a paper and a video of Eve at the APA convention that became a
sensation. Eventually, the material formed the basis of a movie called
The Three Faces of Eve, causing Dr. Wilbur to want one of her own,
so she could be famous as well.
Shirley had no childhood trauma and was essentially an attention whore. Her problems grew worse during therapy
sessions, and she had been prescribed powerful, addictive narcotics and barbiturates. That's when she began to
tell Dr. Wilbur stories that happened to her when she was a child which was usually either something she had
read in the newspaper or related to her tonsillectomy. Dr. Wilbur eventually visited Shirley's hometown in
Minnesota to check anything out but came away empty-handed. Ditto for the writer of the book named Flora
Schreiber who built her career on making up stories to pass as nonfiction for crap magazines such as
Cosmopolitan, Newsweek, and Time.
Dr. Wilbur and Flora made a deal years in advance that Shirley would be "cured" of MPD in 1965 and that a book
would be written about it. In exchange for Shirley's cooperation, Dr. Wilbur gave her free therapy sessions,
clothes, and rent money and encouraged her to become a psychologist (she would flunk out).
She also worked for Dr. Wilbur by doing secretarial duties, walking her dog, and caring for her relative. They
even traveled together to places! It's probable that they were lovers.
While writing the book, Flora was puzzled by how Shirley's story didn't make sense or lagged in interest,
so she made up stuff to keep the narrative flowing smoothly. Prior to publication, she discovered Shirley's
confession letter which meant she knew everything was a lie. Shirley and Dr. Wilbur kept convincing her
that what Shirley had was real, and they went so far to provide a fake diary. Speaking of "alters," Shirley was
instructed by Flora and Dr. Wilbur to make up personality traits for each in order to provide a complete profile.
The recording tapes, which ran for hundreds of hours, were judged by Flora to be incoherent, monotonous, and
tedious. Despite everything, she soldiered on only because of the irresistible $12,000 advance.
What Shirley Mason really had was pernicious amnesia which meant that it's hard for her to function normally
due to vitamin B12 deficiency. If she had regular shots to remedy the issue, she would've been mostly fine without
the need for therapy and psychotropic drugs. Instead, Shirley became addicted to the likes of Daprisal, Demerol,
Dexamyl, Edrisal, Equanil, Pentothal, Ritalin, Seconal, Serpatilin, and Thorazine, often two to four times
the dosage amount, which were prescribed and monitored by Dr. Wilbur on top of electroshock therapy.
All in all, Sybil is 100% bullshit and, worse, extremely boring.
Syriana (2005)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/08
12/08:
Damn, Syriana is boring.
I guess having a one-month-old beard while looking fat and speaking some foreign language is enough to garner a bunch of
awards. It's exactly what George Clooney did. What an overrated performance.
The movie has shown me nothing new. Yes, well-paced, but it's without a pulse. The differing perspectives and how the
characters were set up, Traffic did it better. To make matters worse, the storyline
is confusing to follow.
All in all, Syriana doesn't do it for me.